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Tricky advice for a tricky situation! · Johnjay & Rich On Demand

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Well, good morning, John Jay and Rich? How can I
• 0:01
  Speaker 1: help you?
• 0:02
  Speaker 2: Is Rich there?
• 0:04
  Speaker 1: I believe? Still? Let me check Rich speaking? Who's this?
• 0:09
  Speaker 3: You know me?
• 0:10
  Speaker 4: This is Misty?
• 0:11
  Speaker 1: I'm Missy. How do I know you?
• 0:14
  Speaker 2: That's what I saw you on TV?
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  Speaker 5: Oh?
• 0:17
  Speaker 1: Right on? You're just a Hollywood star on there?
• 0:21
  Speaker 3: No what what was happening? You're not confusing with me
• 0:24
  Speaker 3: with Noah on prices? Right? Are you?
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  Speaker 1: Yeah? It's Rich? Right, you're still there, Missy? Man? Why
• 0:33
  Speaker 1: it's Rich.
• 0:38
  Speaker 2: Or is she talking about Noah? I mean both of
• 0:40
  Speaker 2: you were recently on TV.
• 0:42
  Speaker 1: H never know. Let's say how to Crystal? Crystal? Good morning?
• 0:45
  Speaker 1: What's up?
• 0:46
  Speaker 6: Hy?
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  Speaker 2: So?
• 0:47
  Speaker 6: I kind of had a question. I have a thing
• 0:51
  Speaker 6: and was wondering if you guys do like group therapy anymore?
• 0:55
  Speaker 1: Yeah?
• 0:55
  Speaker 2: Sure, we always do whatever we have a reason to.
• 0:57
  Speaker 2: If somebody says, hey, can you guys do group therapy?
• 0:59
  Speaker 1: So let's do. Let's help you with your thing? What's up?
• 1:02
  Speaker 6: Okay?
• 1:02
  Speaker 1: Cool?
• 1:03
  Speaker 6: So my daughter is ten and we met my husband
• 1:08
  Speaker 6: when I was two, when she was two. Sorry, and
• 1:12
  Speaker 6: pretty soon she's going to actually put it together that
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  Speaker 6: we met when she was two and that's been her
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  Speaker 6: only dad her whole life. And even though I've had
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  Speaker 6: like ten years to prepare for this, I like don't
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  Speaker 6: know exactly how to approach it. Yeah, and I'm sure
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  Speaker 6: there others in this situation.
• 1:32
  Speaker 2: Okay, so your husband is not her biological father, but
• 1:35
  Speaker 2: has been her father since she was two.
• 1:38
  Speaker 6: Right, and we've always said like, yeah, when we met
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  Speaker 6: daddy when you were two, and she just hasn't asked
• 1:43
  Speaker 6: about anything before.
• 1:46
  Speaker 1: Yeah, like did he adopt her?
• 1:49
  Speaker 6: Not officially yet. We wanted to start doing that, but
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  Speaker 6: then like COVID happened, so the court stuff, like wasn't
• 1:55
  Speaker 6: doing stuff and we just haven't gone back to it yet.
• 1:58
  Speaker 1: But she calls him daddy.
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  Speaker 6: Even with that, Yes, even with that, I don't know
• 2:02
  Speaker 6: if we tell her we did the official adoption or
• 2:05
  Speaker 6: tell her the situation and ask if she wants to do.
• 2:07
  Speaker 3: That he's the situation and tell him, is this situation
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  Speaker 3: something you wouldn't want to share with her for whatever reason?
• 2:17
  Speaker 6: Kind of And with that is like the crazy part too,
• 2:21
  Speaker 6: that I'll have to tell her later. So I guess
• 2:24
  Speaker 6: I'm makeing like a baby mama. But the crazy part
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  Speaker 6: is that I'm one of last I heard nine baby mamas,
• 2:33
  Speaker 6: and my daughter's his eleventh kid.
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  Speaker 1: Wow.
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  Speaker 4: Wow, So you just like you're waiting for her to
• 2:41
  Speaker 4: come to you and ask you, Okay, well if daddy
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  Speaker 4: isn't technically my quote unquote dad, who is.
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  Speaker 6: Right? Or like so who is it before it?
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  Speaker 1: Yeah? So you think that she's going to be asking
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  Speaker 1: you this in next year or two, like.
• 2:58
  Speaker 6: Maybe sooner than that.
• 2:59
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 3:00
  Speaker 6: I have mentioned it like a year ago in the
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  Speaker 6: Costco food court and then I was able to just
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  Speaker 6: kind of like skirt past it.
• 3:07
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and that's the food court's not already talk about
• 3:09
  Speaker 1: that stuff.
• 3:10
  Speaker 4: I kind of feel like, so, you know, my daughter,
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  Speaker 4: she's eleven, and that's right around the same age I
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  Speaker 4: feel like, but I don't necessarily know if like like
• 3:20
  Speaker 4: not everybody has created equally like and not everybody is
• 3:23
  Speaker 4: the same with where they're at. But I kind of
• 3:24
  Speaker 4: feel like at that age you can have a pretty
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  Speaker 4: adult conversation with them about something like this, leaving out
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  Speaker 4: like maybe some of the I don't know some of
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  Speaker 4: the things maybe yeah, but like to help her understand,
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  Speaker 4: And I feel like that will open up communication later
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  Speaker 4: on down the road, because I think what you don't
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  Speaker 4: want is to close communication so much that she has
• 3:45
  Speaker 4: all these questions. She doesn't feel like she can ask.
• 3:48
  Speaker 6: You right right, And I didn't like shut it down. Weirdly,
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  Speaker 6: it just kind of she's kind of said it, but
• 3:55
  Speaker 6: didn't like exactly say it. So then I just kind
• 3:58
  Speaker 6: of didn't say anything.
• 4:00
  Speaker 2: Yeah, let me ask you, did you have you have
• 4:02
  Speaker 2: other kids? Have you had kids with your husband?
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  Speaker 1: Now?
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  Speaker 6: Yes? We have?
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  Speaker 2: Okay, So in her eyes, your husband has been her
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  Speaker 2: dad her entire life. That's who she calls dad, right yep,
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  Speaker 2: So my advice and I am nowhere near being a therapist,
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  Speaker 2: but I would say, because you know, we have we
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  Speaker 2: have three kids, three different ways, and we've had conversations
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  Speaker 2: with them when they were younger about how God made
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  Speaker 2: each one of you for us.
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  Speaker 1: You just got here differently.
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  Speaker 2: And I feel like if that attitude came from from
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  Speaker 2: your husband. Maybe if you guys are sitting there talking
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  Speaker 2: hey like I'm your dad, you know, you just didn't
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  Speaker 2: come the way that we normally do it. Something come
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  Speaker 2: up with better.
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  Speaker 3: Words, but something like that that's very satisfying, you know,
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  Speaker 3: like curious.
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  Speaker 2: Got your dad, case hands down, I am your dad,
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  Speaker 2: case closes.
• 4:56
  Speaker 1: We got everybody differently.
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  Speaker 5: John, Jay and Kyle. I think you guys both hit
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  Speaker 5: it right there. Like, my dad was adopted by my grandpa,
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  Speaker 5: who he knows as his dad his whole life, since
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  Speaker 5: he was three years old. My dad didn't know his
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  Speaker 5: biological dad at all, and my grandma actually wouldn't tell
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  Speaker 5: him about it. She would clam up, she'd get really
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  Speaker 5: quiet about it. And my dad still to this day
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  Speaker 5: has issues with that in his life. And then it
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  Speaker 5: trickles down into me because I'm like, dang, I didn't
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  Speaker 5: even get to ask any of the questions for my
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  Speaker 5: grandma or asked the questions about my dad's dad or
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  Speaker 5: his family all because she wouldn't talk about it. So
• 5:27
  Speaker 5: I feel like, if you're able to take Kyle's advice
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  Speaker 5: in John Jay's advice and marry the two, I think
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  Speaker 5: you probably are in good and good business.
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  Speaker 2: Another thing is is whenever it comes up take off running.
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  Speaker 5: No, don't do that, do not avoid.
• 5:42
  Speaker 2: Yeah, do the costco thing we don't talk about here.
• 5:50
  Speaker 6: Yeah, And I guess with that a little bit too,
• 5:54
  Speaker 6: is like the whole Birds and the Bees conversation because
• 5:58
  Speaker 6: it kind of hasn't come up. It's just been like, Oh,
• 6:02
  Speaker 6: God puts a baby in your tummy and you know,
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  Speaker 6: then you're going to have a baby, and like it
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  Speaker 6: hasn't gone past back either.
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  Speaker 5: What why don't people have the birds and the bees conversation?
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  Speaker 1: I never had that.
• 6:12
  Speaker 5: I just figured it out.
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  Speaker 1: I'm like, it's the thing.
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  Speaker 4: It's the thing, because they would rather, they would rather
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  Speaker 4: the information come from you as a parent, so you
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  Speaker 4: can kind of like control the narrative. I'm like, I
• 6:24
  Speaker 4: hear it from their friends.
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  Speaker 5: Who knows what they're hearing.
• 6:26
  Speaker 3: Exactly, that's a whole so that you don't know.
• 6:30
  Speaker 6: So then it ends up being so much because I
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  Speaker 6: have to be like, oh, well it's really a man
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  Speaker 6: and woman and blah blah blah, and then she might
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  Speaker 6: think of it, so it's like so much I have
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  Speaker 6: to tell.
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  Speaker 3: Her just gook, say go ask your jes Yeah, all right,
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  Speaker 3: well good luck, Chrystal.
• 6:43
  Speaker 1: Let us know what you do. You're a great mom.
• 6:45
  Speaker 1: Thank you for listening.
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  Speaker 6: Thank you. Have a great day, guys.
• 6:48
  Speaker 1: Booy see. And that's how it works.
• 6:50
  Speaker 2: If you have a situation you want to do group
• 6:52
  Speaker 2: therapy on the air, call us or Texas. By the way,
• 6:54
  Speaker 2: if you've got advice for her eight seven seven, nine
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  Speaker 2: three seven, one oh four seven