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The 6 wedding pro's you definitely DON'T want to be like and how to avoid becoming one.... · Wedding Pros who are ready to grow - with Becca Pountney

• 0:00
  I was once at a wedding show where someone just came over to me and all
• 0:04
  they did was talk to me about their business and why I should buy from them?
• 0:07
  They never even asked whether I was getting married.
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  I love the wedding industry, but there's some interesting characters, and in
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  today's episode, we're going to be talking about some of the people in the wedding
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  industry you really don't want to be.
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  I'm Becca Pountney wedding, business marketing, expert, speaker, and blogger
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  and you're listening to the wedding pros who are ready to grow podcast.
• 0:28
  I'm here to share with you actionable tips, strategies, and real life
• 0:31
  examples to help you take your one business to the next level.
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  If you are an ambitious wedding business owner that wants to take your passion
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  and use it to build a profitable, sustainable business, doing what you
• 0:42
  love, then you're in the right place.
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  Let's get going with today's episode.
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  I absolutely love working in the wedding industry.
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  Our industry is full of some of the most incredible creative
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  minds and I love working with you.
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  I am all about community over competition every single time, but
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  as in all industries, sometimes there's some people that maybe
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  don't quite do the right things.
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  We've all come across some of these characters.
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  And today I want to share with you the six different people that you really don't
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  want to be like in the wedding industry.
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  Now I'm not going to be naming any names, but these people are
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  the kinds of people that I've seen over the last five or six years.
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  And I just want to warn you not to be like them.
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  Now, if we're all honest, there's probably a little bit of all of these
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  people inside each and every one of us, but as I go through the categories,
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  hopefully you can learn how to not be like these people and maybe have
• 1:37
  a little chuckle to yourself as maybe some of them are a little bit further.
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  Okay, let's go straight in with person.
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  Number one, I've called person number one, the used car sales person.
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  If you've ever been out wedding exhibition, I guarantee you, you
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  will have met one of these people.
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  It's the people that jump out from the wedding show, stand to the
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  perspective, bride and grooms, and just go into a full on sales pitch.
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  They will say, and do everything to charm the people and try
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  and make the sale right there.
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  And then.
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  But let's be honest.
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  None of us want to be like the used car salesperson because it's
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  kind of awkward for the consumer.
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  And most of us just don't fit into that category.
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  In fact, most of you, when I meet you also frightened of being the used car
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  salesman, that actually you go too far the other way, and you don't even sell at all.
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  We don't want to be doing that.
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  So how can we avoid being the used car salesman?
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  Well, the easiest way to avoid it is to just be human.
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  When we're making a sale, it's just about solving someone's problem.
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  It's just about having a conversation, human to human.
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  We don't have to go into salesperson mode and start reeling
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  off all these facts and figures.
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  We can just be ourselves, ask questions, find out what the couple's
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  problem is and how we can solve it.
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  And whether we can help.
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  If we stop thinking of ourselves like this big salesperson, then we can just
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  act normally and it's going to put our potential couples much more ease.
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  So don't be the used car sales man.
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  Don't be the used car sales woman.
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  But if you starting to feel like you're being a little bit too salesy,
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  you're probably not this person.
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  Like I said, the people who were worried about this often
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  go too far, the other direction.
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  Now our second person will be found in a totally different situation this time.
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  I don't want you to imagine yourself out a wedding exhibition.
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  Instead.
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  I want you to imagine yourself at some kind of networking event, perhaps you've
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  gone to a networking event in order to meet other people in your community.
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  Perhaps you've gone to a wedding pro specific networking events, perhaps
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  you've even been to one of my networking.
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  Now this person can be found normally with a big stack of business cards.
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  And I called this person the business card three.
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  None of you wants to be the business card thrower.
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  Why?
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  Because the business car thrower has gone to the networking event
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  with totally the wrong intention.
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  We don't build connections and build relationships in the wedding industry by
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  just looking at someone's business card.
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  In fact, As I'm recording this in 2022, our business cards, even still a thing
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  I'm much more likely to connect with someone these days on Instagram, um,
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  or drop them an email or a voice note than I am to pick up a business card.
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  And let's be honest, most business cards.
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  Where do they have.
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  In the recycle bin.
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  So you don't want to turn up to the networking event and
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  be the business card thrower.
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  I've seen this person far too often.
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  They turn up at the event and all they're thinking about is I need to tell as many
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  people in this room about me, I need to tell them who I am, what I do and
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  why they should want to work with me.
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  They've got totally the wrong intention.
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  And then they start handing out their business card to anyone that will take it.
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  And what do those people do?
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  They just put the business card in their pocket and think, why is this person
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  just throwing a business card at me?
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  Are they interested in building a connection or are they just
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  out to talk about themselves?
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  None of us want to be this person.
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  And I know it's awkward when you're afraid faced with this kind of person.
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  Who's trying to do this to you because you just don't know how to respond.
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  And often you just respond by giving your business card back, which has benefited.
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  So, what should we be like then so that we can avoid being this person?
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  Well, when you walk into a networking event, you shouldn't
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  be thinking about yourself at all.
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  Instead, you should be thinking about the other people in the room.
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  If you change your perspective around networking, which is a
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  subject that I could talk to you for hours about, then you will stop
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  thinking about what can I get out of this situation and start thinking
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  about the other people in the room.
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  Don't be a talker.
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  Be a listener.
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  Don't just brag about yourself, but ask people questions.
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  When you ask people questions, they start to open up and talk
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  about themselves, ask some probing questions about their business.
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  Now don't go too in depth and, and be a little bit too full on, but chat to them
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  about who they are, why they started it, what is going on in their business,
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  what they love about their business, and maybe what they find hard about them.
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  When you have this kind of deeper connection, often you will find
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  things you have in common people.
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  You have in common hobbies, you have in common interests, you have in common,
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  and you actually start to build a relationship with those people, which
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  will go on to provide you business relationships, business opportunities,
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  and perhaps referrals in the future.
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  So next time you walk into an event with a big pile of business cards in your head.
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  Put those business cards back in your bag and stop being the business cards for and
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  start being the person that's there to talk and help and be generous and kind to
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  other people I promise that will always come back and benefit you in the long run.
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  Okay.
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  Now person number three.
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  Unfortunately I see quite regularly in our wedding industry, I see them online.
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  I see them circulating in Facebook groups.
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  I see them at wedding industry networking.
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  And I see them at wedding shows.
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  These people are everywhere.
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  In fact, you might have even bumped into them while having to
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  work alongside them at a wedding.
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  This person I've named the everything's.
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  Perfect person.
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  This is the person who has the perfect life and perfect business on Instagram.
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  They think they know all things, and they're always there to
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  tell you why they know best and you don't know anything at all.
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  In fact, these people can make us feel a little bit insignificant.
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  They can make us feel a bit awkward and like, we don't know what we're talking.
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  It's the person that always pipes up with an answer in a Facebook
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  group, because they know better.
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  They disagree with everyone else because everything in their business is perfect.
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  It's the person at the networking event that tells you, oh,
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  everything's going great.
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  In my business.
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  I'm constantly fully booked.
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  I'm constantly getting inquiries.
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  My social media presence is incredible.
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  Everything's amazing.
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  Let's be honest though.
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  No one wants to talk to this.
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  Why because it makes you feel inadequate.
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  You don't want to talk to the person that's telling you.
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  Everything's amazing and deep down.
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  We know that it's not true.
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  No, one's life is perfect.
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  Yes.
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  We might want to portray a kind of perfect business image on Instagram, but
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  ultimately people buy from people and people want to work with people who are.
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  We are all human beings.
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  We all have other things going on behind the surface.
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  We all have struggles in our business.
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  Every single one of us, if we're honest with ourselves has things about our
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  wedding business that we're not having.
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  No one has a perfect business.
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  Even people who are super successful, I'm making lots of money in their wedding
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  business may have other struggles, perhaps their work life balance just, isn't great.
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  Perhaps they're working all the hours and never seeing their family,
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  perhaps they're just bored of what they're doing and they want to change.
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  Nothing is ever perfect.
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  If we stopped being the everything's perfect person and start being the real
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  vulnerable person, we can make much better connections in the industry.
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  And often when we're vulnerable and say that we're struggling with something, it
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  enables other people to come forward and say that they're struggling with it too.
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  The other way it can help is if we post in a Facebook group
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  or talk at a networking event.
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  I'm really struggling.
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  I have no idea how to set up my email system or I don't even know what's
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  supposed post about on social media.
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  Other people will want to help you.
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  They'll give you ideas.
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  They'll give you inspiration.
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  They may even send you contacts or details about people that could help you when
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  you're the vulnerable person, rather than the everything's perfect person.
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  It always leads to better things.
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  Now I'm not saying you need to air all your dirty laundry and you don't
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  want to be the person that's always miserable either, but there's definitely
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  a balance to be had about being real about being honest and just saying it's
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  okay, you don't need to protect the fact that you've got a super successful
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  business with 25 employees when it's just you at home with the kids running
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  around, just be yourself and don't be the everything perfect person.
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  Okay, our next person I've called the follow for a follower person.
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  These people drive me crazy.
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  These people are so wrapped up in their statistics.
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  They haven't realized that how many followers they have on Instagram
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  is just a vanity statistic.
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  These are the people that will try and connect with you and follow you, but only
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  because they want you to follow them back.
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  Once again, all they're doing really is thinking about the.
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  They're the people that will start a massive follow loop on a Facebook
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  group or an Instagram group.
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  They are the people that will just say, follow me and please follow me back.
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  There'll be the people that might even send you a message if they follow you
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  and you don't follow them back asking why you haven't followed them back.
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  These people are spending far too much time on the wrong thing.
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  We shouldn't be following for a follow.
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  We shouldn't be trying to get as many people in the world following
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  our Instagram as possible.
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  We should only be connecting with people that we want to connect with.
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  We should be having the right intention.
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  Maybe we want to follow that person because we like them because we want to
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  engage with them because we want to drop them a message and ask them for help.
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  Maybe we like their work.
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  Maybe their brand aligns with us, but we're not doing it for the selfish reason
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  of building up horror and following.
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  Once again, the heart of it is if you're this follow for a follow
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  person, people see right through it, they know that you're more about
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  yourself than helping other people.
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  And again, no one really wants to hang around with you if you're that person.
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  So try and avoid being part of these big follow loops or
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  I'll comment on your picture.
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  If you comment on mine, it doesn't really work quite honestly.
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  Damaging in the wedding industry, because if you're constantly following
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  and being followed by other people in the wedding industry, Instagram
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  thinks that's who you want to reach.
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  And then it gets harder and harder for you to reach brides and grooms and potential
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  customers because Instagram thinks you just want to be in a supplier bubble.
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  Now it's great to connect with people on Instagram.
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  It's great to connect with people on Facebook, but do it for the right reasons.
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  Do it because you actually want to build a business relationship with them.
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  Not because you're trying to increase your own follower account
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  and get those vanity statistics.
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  Now the fifth person on my list is the person that causes me personally,
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  the most amount of heartache and pain.
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  I want nothing more than to see you succeed in your wedding business, whatever
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  that means for you, where the success is having more work-life balance, being
• 12:28
  able to leave your job or being able to grow a business, doing exactly what.
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  But this person causes me so much heartache and often I can spend far
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  too much time trying to help them.
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  And then just become increasingly frustrated when nothing happens.
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  This person is the all talk.
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  No action.
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  They're the person that will moan that things aren't going well for them.
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  No one wants them to be involved in anything.
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  No one wants to be the industry friend.
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  They just don't get anything from anything that I've taught them.
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  And they're constantly miserable and they're spreading them
• 13:05
  misery to other people as well, which is incredibly different.
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  For me because they say, oh, I've heard this all before nothing ever works.
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  This doesn't work.
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  That doesn't work.
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  No one is interested.
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  No, one's replying.
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  I just feel like giving up.
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  Now the problem with these people isn't that they're being
• 13:26
  honest about their struggles because I totally encourage that.
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  But when I dive a little bit deeper and ask them, well, what action have
• 13:35
  you taken to try and make this better?
• 13:38
  It turns out.
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  They haven't, they might have watched all the business training I've ever given.
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  They might have been in my group or in my membership or in my world
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  for months and months and months.
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  But all they do is talk, but they never take action.
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  If I question.
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  Well, from that training, did you set up the email automation
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  sequence and they say, no, I didn't think it would work for me.
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  So I didn't bother.
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  I say to them, did you go to that wedding industry networking
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  night that I recommended to you so you could meet people?
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  No, it was a bit far out of my way or actually I just
• 14:11
  couldn't be bothered to go.
• 14:13
  Did you think about setting up your own style shoots so that you could
• 14:16
  have the people involved in it?
• 14:17
  Well, it kind of feels like too much work is often there.
• 14:21
  These people are incredibly frustrating because they can see that there's a
• 14:25
  problem and they know they want to make a difference and they may even spend time
• 14:29
  or money to learn about how to solve it.
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  But what they can't do is.
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  Action.
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  And then they just spend the whole time defending why they haven't
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  taken the action in the first place.
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  So please don't be this person because it's what I really
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  don't want for any one of you.
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  If you're going to listen to a training or read a book or have an idea about
• 14:52
  doing something, the only person that can cause you to take action.
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  Is you, you could pay hundreds of pounds to meet up with me once a one.
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  I could create a whole strategy for you that I know will help
• 15:04
  you move your business forward.
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  But if you walk away from that meeting, put that strategy in your bag and
• 15:10
  leave it there for the next year.
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  I guarantee nothing will change.
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  And I can't do anything about that.
• 15:16
  I can't make you implement the strategy.
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  I can't make you take action on things.
• 15:21
  All I can do is encourage you to have the confidence, to just try, give it a go.
• 15:27
  I always see the action takers, other people that have the most
• 15:31
  success and the best results.
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  Why?
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  Because they're putting themselves out there and trying something different.
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  So don't be the all talk.
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  No action.
• 15:40
  Moaner and if you're anything like that, If you see this person popping up again
• 15:44
  and again, after a while, there's not a lot more you can do for them other
• 15:48
  than encourage them to take action.
• 15:51
  I'd love to know what you're thinking as I'm going through these people.
• 15:54
  Perhaps some of you identifying traits in yourself, which kind of
• 15:58
  resonate with some of those people.
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  I think that there's a little bit of these people in each and every one of us.
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  And we need to fight against being these people so that we can
• 16:07
  do better in our business, which brings me to person number six.
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  And if you haven't resonated with any of them so far, perhaps person
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  number six will resonate with you.
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  My final person is the frustrated freebie hunter.
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  The frustrated freebie hunter is frustrated because they
• 16:25
  know they've got a good idea.
• 16:27
  They know they're good at what they do, but they just don't know how to
• 16:30
  take their business to the next level.
• 16:32
  Perhaps they don't know how to build a website or they don't know
• 16:35
  how to automate an email system.
• 16:37
  Perhaps they don't know how to build connections or what
• 16:40
  benefit that would be to them.
• 16:41
  Or they don't even know where to meet people, perhaps they want to rebrand, but
• 16:45
  they have no idea what makes a good brand.
• 16:48
  They are frustrated because they can see they've got a problem.
• 16:51
  Their problem is often that no one knows they exist.
• 16:54
  No one's inquiring with them or no one actually books with them.
• 16:57
  Once they've inquired, they're so frustrated because they know they're
• 17:00
  good at what they do, but they just don't know what to do about.
• 17:04
  And unfortunately, instead of taking that frustration and turning it into
• 17:09
  action, this person can often become the frustrated, freebie hunter.
• 17:15
  They searched around and look for answers to their questions, which
• 17:18
  aren't going to cost them any money.
• 17:20
  Now I get it because when we start out in business, money is tight.
• 17:23
  Things can be difficult.
• 17:25
  We don't always have a lot of money to invest and we can try and do
• 17:28
  everything ourselves, which is fine.
• 17:30
  But then we can't be frustrated with the results.
• 17:34
  Just imagine for a moment that I want one of my children to learn to swim.
• 17:38
  I put them in the water and they're frustrated.
• 17:41
  They have to wear armbands.
• 17:42
  They have to wear some kind of tummy belt because they can't swim.
• 17:46
  Now I could play them YouTube videos over and over again at
• 17:50
  home, teaching them how to swim.
• 17:52
  I could just keep putting them in the water and hoping that they get
• 17:54
  a go with it, but ultimately the fastest, the safest and the best way
• 17:59
  for me to get them to learn, to swim.
• 18:01
  It's to send them to swimming lessons.
• 18:03
  Now, anyone who's a parent out there will know that this costs
• 18:06
  money, swimming lessons are not.
• 18:09
  But why do I do it?
• 18:10
  Because I value that time and that investment, because I know it will
• 18:14
  result in an expert teaching my children how to swim and they will walk out at
• 18:18
  the end of those set of lessons, being able to swim and be safe in water.
• 18:23
  They'll no longer be frustrated when we go on holiday.
• 18:25
  They'll no longer be frustrated or scared of being in the water.
• 18:28
  Why?
• 18:29
  Because we've invested in solving their problem with an expert.
• 18:34
  But with great, it's doing that in those kinds of situations, but when it's our
• 18:37
  business, for some reason, we shut down and we don't want to spend any money,
• 18:41
  we think we can do it all ourselves.
• 18:42
  And we think we can just get on and learn it for free just by
• 18:46
  trying it and giving it a go.
• 18:48
  But then we've become frustrated because the free things that we're
• 18:52
  trying to find, the free videos we're trying to watch, or just the advice
• 18:56
  we're getting for free from friends doesn't seem to be doing the job and
• 19:00
  we become the frustrated free behind.
• 19:02
  Constantly searching around for an answer, but not willing to pay any money or
• 19:06
  invest any time to get it fixed sooner.
• 19:09
  Now I'm sure there's someone out there probably that I could find who might
• 19:12
  try and teach my kids to swim for free, but I guarantee you, they probably
• 19:17
  not going to do as good a job as the expert that I am paying every single.
• 19:22
  So don't become the frustrated, freebie hunter.
• 19:25
  If you want your business to succeed and you want something
• 19:27
  to be better, sometimes it's much better to pay an expert to do that.
• 19:33
  Perhaps you are not happy with the imagery on your site.
• 19:36
  Perhaps you've got images which you've taken on your phone, and they're just not
• 19:39
  doing your products or services, justice, and no one's ever coming to you because
• 19:44
  they don't like the look of your products.
• 19:46
  Well, you can try and improve your photography skills.
• 19:49
  You could go out and buy a better car.
• 19:51
  Or you could just invest in someone to come and do a
• 19:53
  branding photo shoot with you.
• 19:55
  And guess what?
• 19:55
  You're going to end up with incredible images, way better than anything
• 20:00
  you could have done on your own.
• 20:03
  Perhaps you're stuck and you need a strategy to move forward.
• 20:06
  You need help with how to build an email system.
• 20:09
  You need help with how to do better at a wedding show.
• 20:11
  You need to understand how to use Pinterest.
• 20:14
  Well, go to an expert, come to me for a one-to-one session.
• 20:18
  Join my membership and watch.
• 20:20
  Go to someone that can give you the answer immediately and tell you how to
• 20:25
  do it well and support you along the way.
• 20:27
  You don't want to become the frustrated, freebie hunter.
• 20:30
  If something's frustrating, you find a way to solve it, find the expert and fix it.
• 20:36
  And if it's not a priority right now, then put a date in the diary for when
• 20:39
  you do have a bit more money that you can go ahead and invest in that.
• 20:44
  It's always a bit of a chicken and egg situation, isn't it?
• 20:46
  Because often we're not getting the inquiries in because we haven't got the
• 20:50
  images or the website to back it up.
• 20:53
  And so if we don't improve the images, we don't get the money.
• 20:56
  And if we don't get the money, we don't feel like we can
• 20:58
  afford to improve the images.
• 21:00
  Ultimately starting a business does cost something.
• 21:04
  And while I don't think it needs to cost you hundreds of pounds, have a think
• 21:07
  about where you should be investing your money to improve your result.
• 21:12
  So all of the people I've talked about today, other people we
• 21:16
  don't want to be, you don't want to be the used car salesman.
• 21:19
  You don't want to be the person who's throwing their business
• 21:21
  cards around a networking event.
• 21:23
  You don't want to be the everything's perfect person or
• 21:26
  the follow for a follower person.
• 21:28
  You definitely don't want to be the all talk.
• 21:30
  No action.
• 21:31
  And you definitely don't want to be the frustrated freebie hunter, either
• 21:35
  as you listen, you may be chuckling to yourself, as you can recognize some of
• 21:39
  these character traits in some of the people that I've mentioned today, but
• 21:44
  you might also be looking at yourself and realizing actually, maybe I fall into
• 21:48
  some of these categories and that's okay.
• 21:50
  Recognizing it in yourself means that you can help and try and make a difference to.
• 21:56
  Although, we don't want to be like these people.
• 21:58
  We can laugh about it and we can learn from it to make sure that we're doing
• 22:03
  better business, being better people.
• 22:05
  And ultimately the best person you can be.
• 22:09
  Is yourself.
• 22:10
  So take that away from today.
• 22:12
  Don't try and be any of these people.
• 22:14
  Just be yourself.
• 22:15
  Be humble, be willing to learn and be willing to help other people.
• 22:19
  I'm I guarantee you, it will help you grow your wedding business.
• 22:24
  One thing I love about the wedding industry is the other amazing
• 22:27
  people you get to work with.
• 22:29
  If you want to meet some like-minded wedding pros, just like you, then
• 22:32
  why not join my free Facebook.
• 22:34
  Wedding pros and we're ready to grow.
• 22:36
  Come meet some new connections, hang out with me and hopefully learn
• 22:40
  too just search for us on Facebook.