Latest / Topeka Bible Church Audio Archive / October 10, 2017 | Expresso - Rebekah Dalfonso

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October 10, 2017 | Expresso - Rebekah Dalfonso · Topeka Bible Church Audio Archive

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: Hi.
• 0:01
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you so much for having me.
• 0:03
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you, Connie, for asking me to share my testimony.
• 0:07
  SPEAKER_00: My name is Rebecca.
• 0:09
  SPEAKER_00: I was born and raised in Phoenix, Arizona.
• 0:12
  SPEAKER_00: I'm the youngest of seven children.
• 0:15
  SPEAKER_00: My parents actually grew up in Wichita, Kansas.
• 0:18
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm kind of back to my roots, I guess, a little bit.
• 0:21
  SPEAKER_00: And I have family in Kansas City and Wichita, which is a blessing.
• 0:27
  SPEAKER_00: So that is my family currently.
• 0:31
  SPEAKER_00: Most of them.
• 0:33
  SPEAKER_00: I think that's all of them, except for I one nephew.
• 0:36
  SPEAKER_00: But I have a large family, lots of nieces and nephews.
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_00: The earliest uh religious memories I have in my family are um they were involved in a cult.
• 0:47
  SPEAKER_00: Um mainly taught that Jesus was only a man, he was not um God.
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_00: And um in order for you to be saved, you must speak in tongues.
• 0:58
  SPEAKER_00: And the really only the memory I have of that is making little crafts, and you had to write everything on the crafts had S-I-T on it, speak in tongues, because it was a big deal.
• 1:09
  SPEAKER_00: And apparently, I'm not sure if my mom actually had the gift of tongues or if she if she just pretended to, but whenever she was emotional, she spoke in tongues.
• 1:19
  SPEAKER_00: And I always thought for the longest time, probably into my 20s, that my mom knew Spanish, and that's what was happening, was she was just speaking really loudly and and fast in Spanish, but I realized quickly that that was not what the case was.
• 1:36
  SPEAKER_00: Um anyway, um the cult actually fell apart, and uh my dad became a heavy alcoholic, um, and eventually my parents divorced by the time I was five.
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_00: Um I grew up living with my mom.
• 1:49
  SPEAKER_00: Um and after everything fell apart with with the cult, I uh didn't, we just my my mom never took me to church or or any talked about Jesus or any sort of religious topics at all.
• 2:05
  SPEAKER_00: Um so I just grew up as an unbeliever.
• 2:08
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't even know anything about Christianity or the Bible.
• 2:13
  SPEAKER_00: Um I lived at home with my mom and my two sisters that are just a little bit older than I am, and also my older brother.
• 2:22
  SPEAKER_00: He's about 14 years older.
• 2:24
  SPEAKER_00: So at the time he was pretty much an adult living there, and um he was an abusive alcoholic and a drug abuser.
• 2:35
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I remember one time he dropkicked my sister outside a neighbor's yard because she left the mac and cheese on the stove.
• 2:43
  SPEAKER_00: Um, he went to jail that time and still stayed at home.
• 2:48
  SPEAKER_00: So it was still, it was still pretty hard.
• 2:50
  SPEAKER_00: Um growing up at the time, I didn't think anything wrong, wrong with it.
• 2:55
  SPEAKER_00: I just always thought that most families handled their conflicts with violence.
• 3:01
  SPEAKER_00: Um but now as an adult I realized it was it was not good and it was harmful.
• 3:07
  SPEAKER_00: Um around my sophomore year in high school, um something changed in my brother.
• 3:13
  SPEAKER_00: It was very strange.
• 3:15
  SPEAKER_00: Um, he had this Jehovah's Witness that was coming over to the house almost weekly, and they would just have these conversations and they would talk about um, I don't know what, but he would continue to have them over.
• 3:28
  SPEAKER_00: And through that, he began seeking what the truth was.
• 3:32
  SPEAKER_00: Is there heaven and hell?
• 3:34
  SPEAKER_00: Is there a God?
• 3:34
  SPEAKER_00: And if so, um, how do I believe in him?
• 3:38
  SPEAKER_00: How do I become saved?
• 3:40
  SPEAKER_00: And he went to a Christian, Bible-believing Christian church and learned the gospel and got saved and got baptized and had a radical transformation.
• 3:50
  SPEAKER_00: This man that was um an angry, angry person, was now on fire sharing with my entire family about Jesus Christ.
• 3:59
  SPEAKER_00: So God used him in a big way.
• 4:01
  SPEAKER_00: Um, he started um talking to my whole family, my sister Michelle.
• 4:06
  SPEAKER_00: She's on the end over there with the plaid shirt or the knit shirt.
• 4:11
  SPEAKER_00: She got saved, and then my sister Rachel and my sister Sarah and my parents learned the truth and and dedicated their lives to Christ.
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_00: And my dad was going to church really regularly.
• 4:26
  SPEAKER_00: It was like this whole revival had happened in my family seemingly almost overnight.
• 4:31
  SPEAKER_00: Um my dad was sober and was doing well, and he was involved in church and just really um had softened a lot.
• 4:43
  SPEAKER_00: He was much more kind and loving.
• 4:45
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I did go to church a few times during this time.
• 4:50
  SPEAKER_00: I was in high school, and um it sounded really exciting, and I wanted to be a part of it, but I just didn't understand it very well.
• 5:00
  SPEAKER_00: Um I thought it was a little bit too crazy, if I'm honest.
• 5:07
  SPEAKER_00: Like my brother, who is still a skeptical atheist, um one of my older brothers, not the not the one that got saved, but him and I remember we would sit out and make fun of my hand-raised in Jesus Freak family, unfortunately, but that's where I was at.
• 5:24
  SPEAKER_00: Um so I'd always been shy growing up and very insecure with myself.
• 5:31
  SPEAKER_00: Um in around the my freshman year of college, I had lost a lot of weight and guys became interested in me.
• 5:39
  SPEAKER_00: And one uh my family continued to pursue me about the Lord, but I was intent on having my fun.
• 5:44
  SPEAKER_00: I I kept thinking like, well, you guys did all your bad stuff, and now you're cleaning your act up.
• 5:50
  SPEAKER_00: That's great for you.
• 5:51
  SPEAKER_00: One day I'll settle down and it'll be fine.
• 5:54
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't I didn't understand the gospel.
• 5:57
  SPEAKER_00: Um so I began drinking a lot, uh going to parties and clubs, and um just living my life for myself.
• 6:05
  SPEAKER_00: Um I was slightly annoyed with the morality that my family was trying to place on me.
• 6:13
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I did end up meeting somebody who really liked me.
• 6:17
  SPEAKER_00: We began dating and we took things very fast.
• 6:20
  SPEAKER_00: Um he enjoyed that party lifestyle like I did.
• 6:24
  SPEAKER_00: Um so some circumstances happened, he lost his job, and I wasn't a believer, so I thought, well, let's just move in together.
• 6:33
  SPEAKER_00: It'll be easier financially.
• 6:35
  SPEAKER_00: We could do that.
• 6:36
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so we moved in together, only dating for a short while.
• 6:41
  SPEAKER_00: Um eventually uh he proposed, um, and he I said yes.
• 6:47
  SPEAKER_00: Um, we had been together for about two years at that time, and uh I thought it was the right thing to do.
• 6:53
  SPEAKER_00: We lived together and we're gonna get married.
• 6:56
  SPEAKER_00: Um we ended up going to premarital counseling with the pastor of my dad's church, and through that, I there was just a lot of questions that God was bringing up in my mind about okay, so here I am, now I'm settling down and getting married.
• 7:12
  SPEAKER_00: So um, like maybe I need to start thinking about these religious things and going to church and how how we're gonna raise our children, type of questions.
• 7:24
  SPEAKER_00: Um so I began listening more to things that people were telling me about God.
• 7:29
  SPEAKER_00: I began going to church.
• 7:31
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I did feel convicted about living together, but um, I think that's just God's laws written on our hearts, right?
• 7:41
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I didn't um I didn't do anything about it because at the time I didn't have the Holy Spirit in me.
• 7:49
  SPEAKER_00: Um I wasn't willing to give up my life to follow Jesus.
• 7:52
  SPEAKER_00: I just liked the idea of religion and going to church.
• 7:57
  SPEAKER_00: Um so we did end up getting married, um, and I continued to think and pursue different godly things.
• 8:05
  SPEAKER_00: My sisters would invite me to Bible studies or Christian concerts, and I would go.
• 8:12
  SPEAKER_00: Um I I could communicate the gospel probably at this point, what it was, but it didn't impact my life.
• 8:21
  SPEAKER_00: Um, it didn't make, didn't have any change in my heart.
• 8:25
  SPEAKER_00: I also looked to my husband at the time to be my everything.
• 8:29
  SPEAKER_00: I looked at him to supply my needs and to make me happy, and that's what marriage was about, right?
• 8:36
  SPEAKER_00: You're your your spouse is supposed to provide all of that for you.
• 8:41
  SPEAKER_00: Um I learned quickly that's not the case.
• 8:44
  SPEAKER_00: Um so two months into our marriage, um, my friends pulled me aside, my co-workers.
• 8:50
  SPEAKER_00: Um we were at Applebee's, um, and they said, Rebecca, um, we hate to have to tell you this, but we've seen your your husband on multiple occasions with the same girl.
• 9:01
  SPEAKER_00: And one time they were kissing, and I remember just feeling like I had drifted outside of my body, and I was just watching this whole scene take place and thinking, man, that poor girl, she must be in a lot of pain.
• 9:16
  SPEAKER_00: Uh it just felt really strange that this was actually happening to me because the person I had put all my hopes and dreams and um desires in was could never have possibly betrayed me in that kind of way.
• 9:29
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but he did.
• 9:30
  SPEAKER_00: Um I confronted him and he admitted it.
• 9:34
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I don't remember a whole lot about that night.
• 9:37
  SPEAKER_00: It was pretty uh devastating.
• 9:40
  SPEAKER_00: But um I I called my sister because I didn't know what else to do, and she came and picked me up.
• 9:46
  SPEAKER_00: Um I was so brokenhearted and such shock that I that the person I thought would be my everything had let me down so hard.
• 9:56
  SPEAKER_00: Um my sister wasn't really sure what to do either.
• 10:00
  SPEAKER_00: She she wanted to just love me and encourage me and be there for me, and so she just put on her music because I was in such shock, I probably wasn't saying anything or at all.
• 10:11
  SPEAKER_00: Um and she had put on David Crowder's Oh praise him.
• 10:16
  SPEAKER_00: And uh I think it was just that moment that I didn't hear an audible voice or anything like that, but it just was the Lord impressing heavily on my heart.
• 10:26
  SPEAKER_00: Will you praise me?
• 10:28
  SPEAKER_00: Will you surrender?
• 10:29
  SPEAKER_00: Will I be enough?
• 10:32
  SPEAKER_00: Um the whole time I had been thinking I'm I'm doing the wrong thing here by living with this man before I'm married, and I should do something about it, but I I didn't want to give up my life.
• 10:43
  SPEAKER_00: I was thinking, well, we'll just get married and it'll solve all the problems.
• 10:47
  SPEAKER_00: So, you know, we'll be legitimate, right?
• 10:48
  SPEAKER_00: We won't be in sin anymore, according to others.
• 10:52
  SPEAKER_00: But I now here I was, my marriage is falling apart.
• 10:58
  SPEAKER_00: I have nothing uh to show for all of my my efforts to make things work.
• 11:04
  SPEAKER_00: And it was as if God's saying, like, getting married isn't enough to wash your sins away.
• 11:09
  SPEAKER_00: You need the blood of Christ.
• 11:11
  SPEAKER_00: Um so I surrendered to Christ that night, and I just gave up living my life my way.
• 11:20
  SPEAKER_00: Um, in the next couple of months, I began to understand the gospel in my heart that Jesus died and rose again for me.
• 11:26
  SPEAKER_00: Uh my sins were washed clean, and He is enough.
• 11:31
  SPEAKER_00: Simultaneously, we were we were getting marriage counseling.
• 11:34
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I was learning about sacrificial love, not demanding selfish love, which was kind of how I had thought marriage was supposed to go.
• 11:42
  SPEAKER_00: I'm just supposed to get what I get out of you, right?
• 11:45
  SPEAKER_00: But God's way is so much different, so much more sacrificial.
• 11:50
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I was growing more and more closer to Jesus.
• 11:53
  SPEAKER_00: Um but unfortunately, two months after the affair was revealed, um, I woke up to a letter from my husband.
• 12:01
  SPEAKER_00: Um, he didn't want to be married and he didn't want anything to do with Jesus.
• 12:06
  SPEAKER_00: It was a second blow that was really devastating.
• 12:10
  SPEAKER_00: And within two weeks, he had packed up all my things, had my pictures off the wall, and essentially had just erased me out of his life.
• 12:21
  SPEAKER_00: And I didn't understand how he could do go from marrying me just four months ago to completely erasing me out of his life.
• 12:30
  SPEAKER_00: It was it was it was hard to comprehend at the time.
• 12:34
  SPEAKER_00: And additionally, he continued to see the woman that he was having the affair with.
• 12:38
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I moved in with my sister and I fought as hard as I could for my marriage.
• 12:45
  SPEAKER_00: Uh through the divorce process, I became so angry and desired to make him not necessarily pay, but to feel how how hurtful his actions were.
• 12:57
  SPEAKER_00: Um but just no matter what I did, it didn't make a difference.
• 13:01
  SPEAKER_00: It didn't satisfy the burning rage inside of me, and it didn't make him see anything differently.
• 13:08
  SPEAKER_00: Um I had been counseled that I needed to forgive, and I wanted to, like in my head, I wanted to forgive, but I just couldn't see past my anger.
• 13:18
  SPEAKER_00: Um at the time I was blessed to be a part of a young adult ministry in Phoenix, and our young adult pastor was teaching through 1 Corinthians, and he had gotten to 1 Corinthians 13 that Sunday morning as I'm wrestling with forgiveness, and I'm like, why first is the wedding passage?
• 13:38
  SPEAKER_00: This is like salt in the wound right now, Lord.
• 13:41
  SPEAKER_00: I don't need this.
• 13:42
  SPEAKER_00: But uh he just kind of camped out on the verse that says, Love keeps no record of wrongs.
• 13:50
  SPEAKER_00: And he talked a lot about forgiveness, and the one thing that he um that he shared that I'd never heard before because I was a brand new believer and hadn't ever read the Bible was the parable of the unforgiving servant.
• 14:05
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna read it here in a second because it just was so impactful in my life.
• 14:10
  SPEAKER_00: In Matthew 18, verses 21, it says sorry, hold on.
• 14:21
  SPEAKER_00: Uh then Peter came up and said to him, Lord, how often will my brother sin against me and for and I forgive him?
• 14:28
  SPEAKER_00: As many as seven times, Jesus said to him, I do not say to you seven times, but seventy-seven times.
• 14:34
  SPEAKER_00: Seventy, yes, seven times.
• 14:36
  SPEAKER_00: Therefore, the kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who wished to settle accounts with his servants.
• 14:42
  SPEAKER_00: When he began to settle, one was brought to him who owed him ten thousand talents.
• 14:49
  SPEAKER_00: And I don't really know what talents are very well, but as I studied the passage, it's literally an unpayable debt.
• 14:56
  SPEAKER_00: He would not be able to work enough in his lifetime to pay the debt that he owed.
• 15:01
  SPEAKER_00: And since he could not pay, his master ordered him to be sold, with his wife and children, and all that he had and payment to be made.
• 15:08
  SPEAKER_00: So the servant fell on his knees, imploring him, Have you have patience with me, and I will pay you everything.
• 15:14
  SPEAKER_00: And out of pity for him, the master of that servant released him and forgave him the debt.
• 15:19
  SPEAKER_00: But that same servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii.
• 15:25
  SPEAKER_00: And seizing him, he began to choke him, saying, Pay what you owe.
• 15:30
  SPEAKER_00: And a hundred denari is a lot, but I think it was about a year's wages at the time, so he would have been able to pay that relatively quickly.
• 15:39
  SPEAKER_00: So his fellow servant fell down and pleaded with him, Have patience with me, I will pay you.
• 15:44
  SPEAKER_00: He refused and went to put him in prison until he should pay the debt.
• 15:48
  SPEAKER_00: When his fellow servant saw what he had what had taken place, they were greatly distressed, and they went and reported to their master all that had taken place.
• 15:56
  SPEAKER_00: Then his master summoned him and said, You wicked servant, I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me, and you should not have and should you not have mercy on your fellow servant, as I had m mercy on you, and in his anger his master delivered him to the jailers until he should pay his debt.
• 16:16
  SPEAKER_00: Um I think just God used his word to impact my heart, and I at that moment realized that I am the I am the debtor who owes the unpayable debt.
• 16:28
  SPEAKER_00: My sin against God is so great and so big that it's not payable.
• 16:33
  SPEAKER_00: I don't have the means to pay it, but Jesus paid it in my place.
• 16:37
  SPEAKER_00: And then to go out and strangle my fellow brother or not fellow brother for their sin against me was not the right action.
• 16:49
  SPEAKER_00: Um, God gave me the power to finally forgive him because of the power of the cross, essentially.
• 16:56
  SPEAKER_00: Uh I began to grow more and more in my hunger and thirst for God, um, but and struggle with the uncertainty of my future.
• 17:05
  SPEAKER_00: I'm 23 years old and I'm a divorcee, you know, and I'm here, I'm in part of this young adult group.
• 17:11
  SPEAKER_00: Like the reality of me ever getting married again was probably slim to none.
• 17:16
  SPEAKER_00: And I was wrestling with that and coming to grips with that and trusting the Lord in it.
• 17:21
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but I did get to meet my husband in our young adult group.
• 17:27
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I was actually fairly shocked when he began to pursue me.
• 17:32
  SPEAKER_00: Um how could he was like the most godly guy in the group?
• 17:35
  SPEAKER_00: Like, how could this guy be interested in me?
• 17:39
  SPEAKER_00: Um I have so much baggage, I have so much um so much to deal with.
• 17:45
  SPEAKER_00: Um but God brought us together, and I'm really grateful.
• 17:49
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't get a I didn't deserve to get a second chance at marriage, but I got one and I'm grateful for it.
• 17:56
  SPEAKER_00: Um it's definitely not perfect, but there's much that God has done in my life through my marriage to Joe, and I'm so grateful for him.
• 18:04
  SPEAKER_00: And I if you would have asked me 12 years ago if I would be a pastor's wife, I would have probably laughed in your face because I just how would God how would God redeem me enough to to to do that or to be in that role or to come alongside my husband in that way.
• 18:23
  SPEAKER_00: But he did, and he's a good God.
• 18:26
  SPEAKER_00: Um, two of the biggest lessons I learned that will stay with me forever is that God will never leave me.
• 18:32
  SPEAKER_00: As my first husband was completely erasing me from his life, I clung to that promise that God would never do that to me.
• 18:39
  SPEAKER_00: It was what got me through those really hard days.
• 18:42
  SPEAKER_00: Um, he will never divorce me.
• 18:44
  SPEAKER_00: He went to extravagant lengths to demonstrate his love for me.
• 18:48
  SPEAKER_00: He chose me and adopted me into his family.
• 18:52
  SPEAKER_00: He will never turn his back on me no matter what I've done.
• 18:55
  SPEAKER_00: And he was all he's always ready to forgive me.
• 18:59
  SPEAKER_00: And then just the lesson of forgiveness, because Christ forgave me an unpayable debt.
• 19:04
  SPEAKER_00: I can forgive those who hurt me, even in the deepest ways.
• 19:09
  SPEAKER_00: Um I think the other thing that I would just encourage you with is um uh if we go back, most of these people in this picture are born-again believers, and we hadn't none of us started out that way, and um they all pursued me um for Christ.
• 19:32
  SPEAKER_00: And I just encourage you if you have family members that don't know the Lord, don't give up on them, continue to pursue them and don't count yourself out because you never know who God wants to use in his ministry.
• 19:46
  SPEAKER_00: So thank you for your time.