Latest / Two Takes, One Marriage / AITJ

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AITJ · Two Takes, One Marriage

• Susan: Welcome back. How you doing babe? We are back Yeah, sorry, we were kind of Really late to this episode But it's just been very hectic a lot going on I've been working a little bit more hours than normal. So I stayed late a few times and I've just been tired so Very stressful. Um, and we kind of talked about it Okay. So I've asked two people to leave at 1 30. We close at 5 p.m. And from 4 30 and 5 we got slammed. I was on this. was honestly compared to Christmas Eve busyness. The store was not in its best state, but I did all the necessary closing tasks and left around 5 15. I need to emphasize that we do not get paid after 5 p.m. No exceptions. So most of the time I am out of the door by 5 1. Like I mentioned And we're going to for us because the weekdays have now started to get more busy. We've decided to move our podcast recording to the weekends. And with that, we'll release on Wednesday. for we were closing on Sunday. We were closed on Sunday. We are also closed Mondays. So I came back to work on the Tuesday. I was opening with my manager and she was whining about the state of the store. I was telling her that I sent people home early as per her request, but we got extremely busy at the end of the day. I even showed her the sales report. I'm not sure if she had a bad Easter or something, but she ended up yelling at me for sending people home early. you an episode every Wednesday. Yeah, I liked Friday because it's like, ah, what a great way to start my Friday. You know, it's right before the weekend and it was supposed to be, you know, fun podcast that you listen to right before your weekend, get your weekend started. But unfortunately, it's just... and that I should have known better than to send home two people at the same time. I told her it's not a big deal. I will happily fix up everything within the next hour. We were quiet and by 10 a.m. the store will be pristine. I did just that but she was still crappy with me the rest of the day. Things have gone back to normal but I never got an apology from her. Now I have some resentments doing within me. gotten a lot hectic trying to get it in. So weekends it is. So how do you feel about that? Your thoughts babe? Any thoughts on that? No, just well put. I don't think there's much more to say about it. Awesome. So how was your week? know someone else who has a lot of resentment for someone. Well, okay, so here's my thing. So she so she was she was like, Oh, I'll see what 12 to one looks like because that's our busiest hour. And then see what happens because usually the day is less busy and so she asked two people to leave at 1 30 that was the mistake I would have asked one person to leave probably at 2 o'clock wait so that um we're seeing if this was a mistake or no be mad or no it's this is she just feels like it's not justified for the manager to be okay so we're seeing if her side was manager Oh, not too bad. I haven't really had much going on. You did something... What? You did something this week. I did something this week? Mm-hmm. What? Yeah, well, I'm not siding with either. First off, the manager put her in charge. Yeah. And she has to make her best judgment call. And that was her best judgment call. And that's fine. And the manager should be fine with it because she then fixed the store in the morning, the first hour they were there, when they first opened. You went to play pickleball on that this week? No, wasn't this week. That was two weeks ago, but it's within the two week time frame. No, not from the last time we had an episode. Really? Yeah. I like... She fixed up the store and there weren't many people so she was able to do that and fully get it to its highest like where it should be. technically she wasn't really breaking any rules. No she wasn't breaking any rules. She was just doing what she was technically told to do. Yeah. If it was not busy to let people leave. However the timing I think is is she's also not a manager so she might not know this. We didn't release one last week. Yeah, we release one last week, but we recorded on my birthday, which was after. Yeah, okay, okay. Before. Okay. And you learned how to clean a kitty room. ⁓ yeah, we did. We volunteered at our PetSmart near us. Our local PetSmart needed ⁓ volunteers for the rescue to come clean the... Like, you know, because her manager was like, she should have known not to send two people home. That's why, like, I should have known better than to send home two people at the same time. No, not necessarily. She's not a manager. So she hasn't had the training. She hasn't had any of that. She might be the most well, like, cat room which is like when you go into Petsmart and you see the cats that are in the room, they ask for some volunteers and that's one of the reasons why we're gonna be doing it on weekends is because during the week we're at least gonna do once a week to volunteer. highest employee that knows everything about the store, has a key to the store, you know, can step into a manager role for an emergency, but I don't think it's necessarily their job title. Like it doesn't seem like that's her job title. So she's quote unquote acting manager. With that being said, and give back to the community that gave us two of our cats and, you know, and also would be able for us to play with little kittens if we get in the mood for a kitten. We can just say, let's just go clean the cat room and we can play because you can play with them after you clean the box out and everything like that. You can you can play with them and socialize with them a little bit to kind of get them ready for their home. ⁓ But yeah, it's going to be exciting. Yeah. Do we have anything else happen? I like something else happened for us. She doesn't know that she shouldn't send two people home. Me working in retail, I would have sent one person home and I would have sent them about two o'clock to 2.30. I would have given in an extra hour just to be sure and I would have sent one person home. Then I would have waited another hour and a half. that would have been about ⁓ 30 almost four o'clock ⁓ the store started to get busy. ⁓ then I would have needed that extra person ⁓ I would have had them. ⁓ ⁓ also learned that as working as a server, ⁓ watching ⁓ managers ⁓ we were servers, ⁓ they would cut people, when they didn't cut people, like we would be so slow. ⁓ You had your birthday party. How'd that go? Well, we had a lot of fun. I don't think we talked about that because when we recorded on your birthday, that means your party hadn't happened yet. Yeah. send some friends over, we play games. Then we went to another game night. Yeah, last week we went to another game night. And I'd be like, ⁓ my gosh, I want to go home. Like, why don't they just cut, you know, cut it down. you get slammed. Yeah. And it comes out of nowhere sometimes. Yeah. And so, you know, I've seen it happen where you're like, dang, we cut someone ⁓ then it ⁓ getting busy, but it's okay because, you know, we had plenty of servers. ⁓ ⁓ we didn't have those and two people were sent home rather than just one person. ⁓ I'm pretty social. Yeah? happening everyone wants to hang out with us so many people no I don't usually have a problem with it it's someone else that likes to be a homebody soon no it's not gonna have a problem with it it's I have a social battery that yeah plates that's what I'm saying no it would be, yeah. But also, the whole point of not getting paid after five o'clock, if you're clocking in and clocking out, you should get paid for that time. If you're getting time taken away from you, I would report them. Because that's your earned time. Whether it's 10 minutes or five minutes, that's your earned time. Saying I'm a homebody means that I just want to stay home. I don't even like being social. No, I'm not saying you are a homebody. recently there are times when you want to just be home. Well, yeah, because my social battery has been drained. Yeah, I'm not saying that you're a zero social person. Yeah. Well, that's what it made it seem like when you say I'm a homebody. If they're hourly, if they're salary, the world hates you and they use you. They use you and they don't care. Yeah. Most people who are salary do get used and walked over. It's, it's hard to find a company. Hey, Susan, can you fix this? Can you fix this? Yeah. It's, hard to find a company that won't kind of push it where Like you can still take an hour lunch break and you have weekends off and you get off right at five o'clock. Like the only place I think that would be considered a good salary position potentially, I've never worked in this kind of position, but a government job because Everyone I don't know maybe not everyone but majority of the people in our area know that the That the courthouse or anything to do with tags titles anything like that It closes at five o'clock the DMV it closes at five o'clock. That's it right at five. There is no 501 So those kinds of jobs I Feel can be more. You can get paid salary, but you will also have the benefits of an hourly person where you actually get off on time. There might be a time where you run a little bit over if you're working with a customer that comes in at 440 or 459. That's understandable and that happens, but you know, it's not, that's usually when they can get there because again, their job might be over at five. And so they had to leave work early to come make it to the courthouse or whatever but did you ever consider doing a job like that like dnb and stuff ⁓ no i i've never never had one never thought about it All right, do you wanna catch us up on braves? Braves TV, Braves scores, Braves... Braves things. Yeah, So yeah, the Braves are killing it right now. ⁓ Top of our division this past weekend. It was awesome to see. We swept the Phillies for the first time in 10 years. We swept them in their home stadium. ⁓ And all we heard was boos after every play that we had. There were some errors and stuff and their fans were just booing their team. It's like, where's the support? But that's just fairly fan-free, so. No, Philly fans are awful. Also... For any of of their sports. Any of their sports. there was a home run given which was totally not a home run. ⁓ last night? Yeah. Yeah. That was ridiculous. fan reached over and... The fan reached over. Yeah. If he hadn't reached over it would have fell right... With that being said, I think that she just did it. Tough situation. She wasn't an actual manager, but she was actually a manager. So she was just going off instinct. And it turned out to be... Not what the manager would have done. Yeah. But that doesn't mean that it was wrong because... before the railing and it would have fell into. But that's why sometimes we need to put the railing just a little bit further back from the seat. Yeah. And have like, there's a railing for the, for the seat. And then there's a gap before the wall. Yeah. Is what I should, I think should be there. They did the sales, she got the closing task done for the majority. The store wasn't like 100, maybe the shirts weren't folded 100 % right, or I don't know what kind of store it is, but like there might've been things that were missing from shelves because they didn't restock all the shelves or something like that. And so she got that done though in the morning, which... That way you know for certain it's going beyond the wall. Yeah, if the fan is reaching. didn't design that in the first place when they built these stadiums. Well, because they didn't think about it. They didn't think that they would have to make calls on fans. They didn't realize fans were going to be like... Fan interference has been a thing since the dawn of sports. So yeah, I get that. ⁓ But yeah, our starting pitching... I don't think that's that wrong, especially if you're really slow in the morning. Then by the time you're busy, everything's out and looking all nice and clean. So I don't think there's a right or wrong. I think it's just. has been. good. like whenever they, it seems like some of them will start the game off pretty rough and they'll get in a jam, but then they'll get out of it. Like Grant Holmes and Bryce Silver both, had moments like that this season. and then the next few innings they like lock in and it's like, She did what she thought was best, but yeah, I can understand having resentment because she was given an authority. If the manager didn't like it or didn't want her to have that authority to do that, one shouldn't have stated to let people leave, like to send them home. She shouldn't have given her permission to do that. If it was going to come back and bite her like. The first inning never even happened, but also because of how hard our offense has been, it doesn't even matter how much runs the other team puts on the board most of the night. So. It does too. Unless the other team, yeah, I mean, we're going to win every game of the year. That would be completely insane. But like, unless the other opposing teams putting up like double digit runs, we usually have been able to fight back in the games. If you're gonna come back and lecture me about the tasks that you have given me, please do not give me that task. I didn't ask for it. You told me to do it. And so I was following what you told me to do, but now it's come back and it's bit me. And I don't like that. I can't stand when that happens. It is... is the most infuriating thing because it makes no sense to me why people do that. we also got something in the mail for my birthday. My birthday is Friday. Yes. April 24th. And also, I need to correct something. My mother is finally listening to some of the episodes. And when I said her birthday was September 9th, I think I was mistaking her with someone else that I know whose birthday is September 9th. and sometimes I know they're trying to delegate and stuff and they're trying to be like, ⁓ you you're better at this and I just need it to look like this, this and this and this, do this, this and this and this. Okay, cool. I've never done this, this and this. Can you help me? You can figure it out. You're smart. You can do it. And it's like, no, I don't, I've never done this before. And I'm not. think it might be a coworker of mine. ⁓ But hers is actually September 7th. Totally messed that up. I'm smart, yes, but that doesn't mean that I'm gonna do it the way that you want me to do it. So when I do it my way, and it comes back and it bites me that I should have asked how to do it first when I did, but it's like... Yeah, that's when I've had problems with forming is when there micromanaging. Also, it'd be crazy if her birthday was... No, yeah, no. I was about to mix up dates again. I don't know why I was thinking it'd be crazy if it was September 9th because that's 9-11. Just kidding, 9-11 is on September 11th. Yeah? Once you get to a certain age, trying to remember holidays and birthdays... They want it done how they said it and so they A lot of the ones that have liked just lay you out and say this is what needs to get done and as long as it's up to code they don't care. So. No, it's more, I wouldn't say micromanaging, it's more of going back and forth on their. And everything that you've got going on in the world takes so much time and is so difficult. Anytime people want to do stuff with us, like we've been talking about, I try to make sure we get it on the calendar as soon as possible so that I don't forget it. So that if someone else asks, hey, you know, what are you guys doing this day? And I'm like, we have nothing planned because ⁓ their verbs, like they're, they're basically being ⁓ a hypocrite, not hypocrite, but like you can't do anything right. And that mentality of I've been given a task, I do the task, but I've done the task, not the way they want me to do the task. But the task is still done. I've forgotten, but then I realized actually we do have something planned. And so I don't have the best memory when it comes to that sometimes. So that's why you want to have this Google account or so much and everything. Yeah. I've been trying to like keep up with it really, truly anytime I think of something. that way, if we get asked to do something, I'm like on top of it. And I'm like, yeah, we have availability. It's just not in the same format that they would prefer to see. But I did do it right. I did get it done. did, you know, I did move everything over and made it pretty, but it's pretty to me. And it's how my brain sees it. And some other people's brain sees it that way, too. But that's not the way they see it. So then they come back and they say, no, that's not right. So then it's like. Or, no, we've already had something booked prior. Because we have double booked ourselves. Multiple times. Like, it's been really tight squeezes between things. Like the past weekend, where we had picking up the cat. Or, it was your birthday weekend. Picking up the cat. why did I do this in the first place when you could have just done it and we could have just not have this issue. Yes, you learn how that person then likes to see it, but at the same time, it makes it seem like you can't do anything right. You don't want to do tasks because you're afraid to screw it up all the time because you're like, I don't know. And then you're constantly having to ask questions instead of being able to do it on your own. You always have to ask questions because if you don't ask questions, then you're gonna get it wrong. If they come back and they say, ⁓ what's wrong? And you're like, but it's not. going to the movie. and then coming back to your party. Yeah, but you were making it. We had more time than. Yeah, but it didn't feel like we had more time, especially because I didn't think the cat process would have taken that long. I feel like that took a lot longer than it should have, to be honest. Because we were standing around a good bit waiting for people to... Well, we also spent a good time in the store buying stuff afterwards, so... No, no, no, no, no. We could have spent the time that they were trying to get everything processed. We could have spent that time shopping, but we were standing around you just don't like the way that it looks or you just don't like the way that I did it and then you have to try to then you have to run everything by them instead of being able to fully kind of come in do what you need to do get it done you're constantly wasting time having conversations about it which I think is not helpful but waiting for them because we didn't know where we needed to go, we needed to do, we were kind of waiting for them. So it wasn't like perfect, but you know they're now an automated system going forward. So we had to do that. Yeah, you had to that process. Well and yeah we were waiting on getting a booklet. You can't get a booklet without one of them. That's my two cents. Alrighty. We have Am I the Jerk? Now this is just a random am I the jerk? I picked it out because it said birthday and... Hmm birthdays are around us right now. Yeah there's so many birthdays this month. so many birthdays. April is popular in our families. ⁓ Yeah. So we couldn't really do shopping until we got a booklet that showed what we could get discounts on. So again, we could have been shopping. We just couldn't because we were waiting for certain things. And I think if we didn't have to wait for those certain things, if they could have just walked us up there, like we could have gotten the, cause it took a minute for them to send us the link to. Yeah. More so your family, it seems like. Yeah, it was hot. And those summer months, those summer nights, they were hot. to the cat adoption room? Yeah, to buy, to do the purchasing online, like through the website. It took them a minute to send us that. Like we were standing around. You know that right? Mm-hmm. Okay. No one gonna... I do know what you're getting at. Okay. So this one is, I the jerk for telling my wife, forget it, and going out by myself for my birthday instead of going to her fancy dinner reservation? this is gonna be interesting. Okay. because other people, and I get they were really busy that morning, like crazy busy. So it happens. But again, that's why I was like, ⁓ my gosh, we're not going to make it. We're not going to make it. That's why I had that feeling of we're going to be super late to the movie. If we relate to the movie. you know it was whatever but it was also for Lily's birthday so I wanted to be there for Lily's birthday and then I ended up forgetting her present and that was the whole thing so yeah it just my brain gets scatterbrained and that's why I want to have these things so it doesn't get scatterbrained but tangenting back to what we were talking about for my birthday Jonah got me something that we've This has been an ongoing issue and it came to a head yesterday. My wife is a planner. It is extremely hard for her to just go with the flow. If we are going to do something, she needs all the details. She does have OCD. That is why she is such a planner, which I don't, I feel like yes. OCD you want to have a plan and everything but at the same time I don't know I feel like you could Maybe do what someone wants you'll you'll figure out wanting for a hot minute for our little robot. yeah, the ⁓ ⁓ A while ago, she asked what I wanted to do for my birthday. I have been burnt out from work, so I told her I want to go to a chain restaurant around here on my day, just to chill my night out. I don't want to get dressed up or anything. She asked where and what time. I told her I'll just pick day of what I'm feeling. Maybe I want Olive Garden or maybe I want to get Chinese takeout. I feel that. Like, you don't know what you're going to want until the day of. And that's okay. Yeah. the cover with the cat door on it so that we don't have so the diggers don't be digging yeah but they're still gonna be litter on the ground because it's gonna be stuck to their feet and they jump out of it it won't be as much as it usually is so yeah i'm okay with that have they all learned how to use it i haven't seen any poo anywhere or haven't smelled any pee anywhere so I think they have been using the litter box still. also we can check the app and see if they've been in there. That's true. That is very true. Yeah, no. Best purchase ever. Thank you. Okay. So for today's episode we're gonna do kinda like I express many times I don't want to plan anything and just go with the day. Really, I just wanted to go eat what I was feeling that day. This week she asked what time and I told her we both get home so when we both get home so like five to six we can go out. She was frustrated I was giving her an I wasn't giving her an answer about where to eat and I told her multiple times that I multiple times work stories ⁓ like am i the jerk a mix of am i the jerks and like work horror stories or like just crazy work stories ⁓ and we're gonna get your opinion on them ⁓ so the first ⁓ what I'm feeling that day. She asked if we needed reservations and I told her no multiple times. We will be a walk-in on a Wednesday to a chain restaurant and like... ⁓ a chain restaurant? Yeah, like Olive Garden or... Garden? Yeah, Red Lobster or whatever he's feeling that day. It could be Applebee's, it could... know... Whatever. Also, it's a Wednesday. don't know if I got the top portion. ⁓ it's got yelled at for sending ⁓ home when I was told to. ⁓ They're not jam packed on Wednesday. And most chain restaurants have stopped taking reservations. You have to go there and then sign up. They don't take like reservation reservations. She asked if I wanted anything fancy and I told her no. I just wanted a simple night. Yesterday was the issue. I wanted Olive Garden. ⁓ So I 21 female work at a small retail store ⁓ were closed good Friday and Easter Sunday. So naturally everyone is going to the shops on the Saturday My manager does not work weekends. So I was put in charge for the whole day I was giving clear directions that if we were quiet I needed and needed is in all caps ⁓ send people home early the company is crazy strict about go home, get some breadsticks and chill the rest of the night. That's what he wanted to do when he finally got to his birthday. Yeah. He decided that's what I want to do. I get home around five and my wife is all dressed up. I asked why and she said she made reservations for the fancy sushi place in the city. She said it was a surprise and we need to leave in about 20 minutes. Nothing has sounded so unappealing to me in my life. I told her I wanted to go to Olive Garden. We got into an argument about our wages to sale and we were all getting paid public holiday rates. You know what wages to sell means? Wages to sell? Yeah. Is that kind of like a mission? What do mean? how she spent all this effort to get a reservation. I told her didn't want any of this. In the end, I left to go to Olive Garden by myself. We got into another argument after I came back. I kind of feel like he's a jerk in this scenario. You think he's a jerk in this scenario? Yeah, because... Imagine it was me and you. What do you mean? Commission? Oh commission? No no no. Wages to sell means like your sales like you have your sales that are really high like let's say you sell $20,000 worth of stuff in two days. Your employee For your birthday, I have booked a sushi restaurant that you are not in the mood for. That is not what you wanted for your birthday. You wanted to maybe go to Wingstop or Buffalo Wild Wings. Okay? your employees get paid, let's say, $12 an hour, okay? And you had three employees. So what you want to do is you want to have your sales really high and your payroll low. So that way you make a profit. But also you have to keep in mind buying supplies and stuff like that. But overall, That's and you were you were like man. I'm ready for just a chill night. Mm-hmm. Don't want anything crazy It's tough and I've asked you I've pestered you multiple times and you've told me what you've wanted Yeah, multiple times. I want to see you now complete 180 and do I do exactly what I want to do Which means make a reservation at a sushi restaurant You want hours to be low so that you don't have to pay out and especially they're getting paid overtime right now. Like they're getting paid holiday pay on that Saturday. So you want to low. So that way if you don't have a lot of sales, it doesn't kill you. because they did say they were a small retail store. So. and then tell you when you get home, ⁓ you got 20 minutes to get ready. after you've been at work all day. If it were me, I'd be like, I'm not going. I am exhausted. I just got home from work. I want to put on comfy pants. That's what I think it is. I could be wrong, but I really don't think I am because it's just a comparison. But again, I side with him. To be frank, I side with him because... I just told her something but I'm not gonna say it. What? I'll edit it out. What? Sometimes not any pants. Yeah. No. I... Yeah, I... I mean... I don't know. I'm kinda undecided. Continuing it was approximately 1 p.m. And we were quiet the entire morning usually our busiest hour is 12 to 1 so I decided that if we were quiet from 12 to 1 the rest of the day was likely to be an even less busy I Asked two people Well, here's the Because like... When you are married to someone, it doesn't matter. start. ⁓ I think he's trying to give her an excuse with the OCD, having OCD so she has to plan. But honestly, she could just say, okay, between this time and this time, we're doing whatever he wants. Yeah. Because that's something that like, I would want you to listen to my request for my birthday. I wouldn't want you making the plans. I've told you multiple times now if I love throwing parties for people on you Yes Everything that they want so well yes, I do that because I want to make sure that person wants it though Yeah, I check with you. Hey, I wonder if he likes sushi or not I Don't know he might Cause that could change the scenario too. Like, cause if it was me. Well, she's the one who picked the restaurant. Yeah. He wanted a chain restaurant. This is a new sushi place. Yeah, I mean. Which means it's not a chain restaurant. I don't know. I don't think he's a jerk. think he's... I don't know if he handled the situation completely right. No, he didn't handle it great. However... But I don't know how you were supposed to react to that. Yeah, you get home, you're told, oh you gotta do this, we're leaving in 20 minutes. What? I'm gonna like... I need a minute. And maybe he needed Yeah, because that's not really like a surprise because he... It was a surprise. Well, it was a surprise for... was a surprise scenario, but it wasn't a good surprise because he had already said, is what I want and don't make a reservation. Yes. And so she did. went around and made a reservation anyways. Yes. And that's why I don't think he's the jerk. because maybe he needed space before he flew off the handle at her because we don't know. Oh because he left. So he left the situation. Maybe he left because he said. He said, I told her I wanted to go to Olive Garden. We got into an argument about how she spent all this effort to get a reservation. So here's how I think the argument went. You know, I've done all of this for you and you don't want to appreciate it. And why don't you just want to go out for your birthday when I've made this reservation for us? Well, I already told you before we're going to Olive Garden because I just wanted to get some breadsticks. Yeah. But then you're going back and forth and so she is heated and she's ⁓ so our role play is over now? Yeah. Sorry. Under what? I don't know. I don't what else you could have said. That was pretty much it. But she would probably repeat herself multiple times. And just be like, annoyed. Well, I some space. Goodbye. Yeah, because that's sometimes what you need sometimes you have to walk away from a discussion a lot of times I won't say anything because I'm Processing. Yeah. Well, it's not like I walk away from the situation. It's just cuz I don't say the first Second or third thing that pops into my head when we're having No, but that's also kind of walking out of the conversation. Yes, because I want to continually talk to you, but you're processing so you're not talking so I'm talking to no one. So it feels like you've... I'm ignoring you. Yes. So you might as well have just walked into a different room to process. Yeah. So for him to leave... Also, we don't know what kind of job he has. And he says he's been burnt out. I know when I get burnt out, ⁓ my stress level is here. Like, the smallest things sometimes can set me off because I'm just so overwhelmed with making decisions, with making plans, with doing this. I just want a day of nothing. And you didn't get that. weekends ago when you wanted it. Yeah, but that's okay. Like I eventually got it, but I ⁓ told you, hey, we need a weekend where there's nothing going on because I had that this weekend. Yeah, we had that this weekend. It was ⁓ Yesterday was really nice. Yeah. Other than the cat room training, but that really wasn't much. No, that wasn't bad. I actually had fun. Yeah, I got funky. ⁓ like, yeah, that's that's my thing is like. I need a break. I can't handle thing after thing after thing after thing after thing after thing. And I'm like, okay, something has to give. need, I need something for my mid. No. don't think he's the jerk. No. And for the majority, a lot of people said he was not the jerk. No. And that she was being selfish. Which, I mean, I feel like a little bit because she picked a restaurant that she probably wanted to go to because if she listened to him and what he wanted, they would have shown up at an Olive Garden. And it can't go wrong with Olive Garden. Alrighty. All right. Am I the jerk for only wanting to work 40 hours a week? Keep in mind, 40 hours is the normal. I worked a salary position for a medium-sized company in New York and my title is... 40 hours for a salary position though? we really? yeah, that's eight hours ⁓ for five days. I know, but like... I don't know. That would be my job, so you're saying I shouldn't work 40 hours? No, you work 9 hours a day. Mm-hmm. Because my lunches... I only get paid for 8. My lunch is deducted. So I work 40 hours a week according to my paycheck. So you have an hour for lunch? Mm-hmm. I get an hour for lunch. You lucky duck. How am I lucky when I just said that I don't get it, I don't take it? Well, I guess I kind of, we kind of get 45 because we have that first break that's 15, that's supposed to be 15 minutes, but a lot of time it turns into 25. And then depending on what form you're working for. Uh, and then lunch, which is 30 minutes. So see you get more. But we get paid for our lunch. Well, our hourly employees do not get paid for their lunch. I don't get paid if I take lunch. However, it's deducted from my paycheck whether I take it or I don't. So a lot of people say you should take your lunch. However, it has gotten to a point on my job where if I do don't take lunch, we just leave 30 minutes early. Yeah. No, I don't get that luxury either. It's called being a salaried employee. Don't ever do it. It's not I'm very happy with being hourly. I wish I was hourly because they would never make me work overtime. And I've worked more overtime this month than I have in the past three months. Yeah. So. Well, I guarantee if all of you were hourly. You would have a full team. Yes. Because they were not, they would not let you guys work. Well, yeah, but work as much as you do. Yes. And then we would also have to take lunches and we wouldn't feel bad about taking breaks. No. Because right now it's a little, it feels like it's frowned upon. to try to take a break now because I haven't been taking a break because I've been trying to help my job get on top of things and we're not getting anywhere. So I should just take my lunch. I'll just take lunch at this point. But at the same time if I do, there will be a comment said about it and I would rather not have to deal with that comment. Then let them make a comment like... Who cares at this point? You're allowed to lunch. It's taken out of your paycheck. So if they're going to make a comment, they're going to make a comment. Yeah, they can fire you over it. They could if they want to. It's an at will. If they say that I'm taking too many breaks. You take a lunch break, how is that taking too many breaks? Well, they can word it however they want. just depends on how they word it. because technically I also get 30 minute breaks, like two paid 30 minute breaks. That's our company rule. Thanks for out today. Yeah, we get the same thing our hourly people get. We just get it. We just get our lunch deducted from us whether we work it or not. Yeah, that's how you get overworked as a salary employee. And when I first started, they let me take my lunch and it was fine to take my lunch, but then we started getting busy. And so I wanted to get caught up on work. So I would keep working to try to get us to caught up because then if we got caught up, then I could take lunch. Just makes me want to punch a hole through the wall. Well, and that's what happened to our newest person. They also were taking lunch. They took lunch for a whole month and even the manager told them, you know, to take lunch or have you eaten today? Go take your lunch like was supportive of it. But when told, ⁓ Susan stays at her desk, so don't. Yeah, She and I like to work through lunches. I don't like that. I do it because I feel I have to. ⁓ I've been doing it for almost a full year now. I don't feel like I can go back on it because if I go back on it then I'm not ⁓ my job and I'm not being a high performer anymore and Then it'll cause issues because things aren't getting done and it's because Susan's taking a lunch break that she used to not take That's the whole thing. Tangent number seven of the episode. Okay, so, work a salary position for a medium-sized company in New York and my title is second from the bottom in my department. There are about 45 people with about 30 in the same category as me, with the VP of the department being six-ish tiers above me. So he's here, but he's got someone below him. But he's here and then there's six people before you get to the vice president of the company. Okay. I basically do grunt work and my manager has never had a problem with me shifting my schedule around with a little notice so long as I get my work done. We are now being pressured by upper management who work in another state to work longer hours and the implication is that if we are watching the clock to make sure we leave as soon as our minimum 40 is done, we're entitled and 40 hours isn't normal in the business world. So am I the jerk for wanting to go home and forget about work after my time is done? No No, I don't think so. No, you don't but again, you don't need to bring your work home with you And so many people do no he they're they're not watching the clock. They're leaving at five o'clock when the workday is over Yeah, but upper management is saying that that is entitled and 40 hours isn't normal in the business world It can be though. Yeah, that's... They don't see salary employees like that because they don't get paid overtime. So they can work you as long as they want. Like literally, they really can't. However, they get away with it a lot more with a salary employee than an hourly employee. The only reason that I don't... I don't do a clock in and out. Most salary people do not clock in and out for their shifts. Our hourly employees do because they need to be clocked. They need to get paid for the exact hours that they work. So when your salary and you don't clock in, clock out, they don't know that you're working through your lunch. They don't know anything. They don't know that you're working till six o'clock at night when you got there at eight in the morning, work through your lunch. So you're now going on 10 hours. They don't know that. They don't know that you're getting online on Saturday because your boss asked you to and you're working six hours on a Saturday. They don't pay you off for that. So. It is easier to get away with that with a salaried employee. That's just, that's just. Yeah. I mean, like when I first started with the company and that I ended up working the weekend and it took us. took us like 16 hours to swap out two panels and that Monday our Field operator got really ticked that the guy was working under saying, did it take you that long? It's like, you didn't see the state of the panels that we didn't see the state of the panels that we were swapping out. And it's like, what else did you expect from what we were doing? Yeah, cuz like it's fun it's been it's been doing that the whole time no it laid back and worry work what it's barely moving okay I thought it had to move them and it was reading your voice ⁓ if it doesn't we'll see okay all righty So the next one is, ⁓ am I the jerk for wanting to use our shared home office for two hours to work? for wanting to use? Mm-hmm. Like, by himself? My partner and I have a two-bedroom apartment and we use one of the bedrooms as an office. We both like our space and essentially got a bigger apartment so that we when we need space from each other we can actually have space. My partner works from home but has a flexible schedule and can make his own hours. Sometimes the projects he works on will pop up at the very last minute and if he doesn't work on them then he misses the opportunity. I'm a therapist with a private practice but But I also work a full-time job from 9 to 5. So my private practice sessions are in the evening and on weekends. As of right now, I have two clients, meaning that for two hours in the evening each week, I need to use the office to have sessions because I cannot have the sessions in the other rooms. It is inappropriate to have a virtual session from our bedroom and we have dogs, so the living room is also not an option. My partner refuses to give up the office. Be away from his computer a few hours a week so that I can have sessions and grow my practice He says that I just want a thing to be my way and that I'm not considering what he wants My partner says he's willing to work around my schedule But also says those two hours are important to him to be on the computer whether or not he has any work to do He also says that he would only be willing to give up those hours office if there are other options such as me holding my sessions elsewhere. I do not want either of our desks in the bedroom because it looks cluttered and he stays on the computer until 2, 3, 4 a.m. a lot of nights, which would keep me up. There is no room for the desk in the living room without it being extremely cluttered, which stresses me out, and not even having room for the dogs to play. Outside of the hours I am conducting my sessions, he has the office to himself. Am I the jerk for asking him to share the office with me and work with me on the time I need to grow my practice? T is not the jerk. The partner is the jerk. She's not the jerk. The partner is the jerk. I read it as a female. Well. She. When I was hearing partner I was figuring it was probably. Well, it doesn't say. They don't say. They just say he for their partner, so I just assumed it was a female. I hope it's a female. ⁓ but usually I don't refer to them as partners. ⁓ Yeah. They're not like a ton. It's usually a female profession. For the most part. There are some... There are men, but I'm just saying it's a more predominant female... ...profession. Yeah, how can you not... Honestly, I... can you not give up the room for an hour or so? So that your partner can be successful. Cause it says... It says on evenings and on weekends. So like... It's like two hours either during the week or two hours on the weekend. Yeah, that's not asking for much. Also, there's like two clients. So that's one hour, but like that's throughout the whole week. That's just one day out of the And then when he grows his brain or she grows her... Practice practice and move out of the house or the apartment or whatever they live in it Well, also she yeah, she might move into an actual office space Yeah in which you know, she can afford because her practices is thriving but at the same time when her practice grows more so You don't want to just jump to getting an office space. Yeah I really think that she doesn't want it in the living room because then it's extremely cluttered. Live with it. Until you can grow that practice and get an office space for yourself, live with it. Somebody be there. I wouldn't care if it meant that it's not going to be there forever. That's the thing. It wouldn't be there forever. Now, one of the desks could be downstairs and it could be his desk because, I don't know, it doesn't sound like he does very many Zoom calls, he works on projects. I don't know what kind of projects, but even so it doesn't sound like he's working with clients outside. It sounds like it's more internal type. things where you're where you're speaking just to people who you work with well he doesn't seem like he's willing to compromise that's no he's not willing to compromise however i think that's what they should do and she should just live with the clutter because that was one of her reasons for not having it in the living room was because of the dogs and the clutter yeah but get over it also Why wouldn't you want to have your dogs on your therapy session? People like dogs. Depending on how well behaved the dogs are. Yeah, but also some people might like to see them and be like, oh my gosh, seeing your dog has made my day. Unless you're a freaking ankle bite or like a chihuahua. um. No, think they're not the jerk. other person is the jerk. All right. I think we're wrapping this up soon. Yeah because we're like around an hour because of the 20 minutes before us. Yeah. Well, I have to a lot of it. Yeah, I mean a lot of it's gonna be cut, it's probably gonna be around 40... 45 to 50 minutes. I'm gonna have you pick the last one. Okay. Am I the jerk for not going in to work when I'm not on the schedule even if my boss asks me to come in? Am I the jerk for telling my wife to get a job if she wants to subsidize the kids? What is that? What's subsidizing? Subsidize means to give money to support. ⁓ to help support the kids. Then there is, am I the jerk for telling my boss to apologize to my wife? Now, if we do the apologize boss to my wife, it's very quick. That's very small. The other two are the ones that are a little bit longer. Do that one. We could do two. We could do the, we could do one for sure and then pick between the two. Do the boss, the boss to take the finger and. I'm not coming in to work. So you want Am I the Dirt for Telling My Boss to apologize to my wife? Yeah. Okay. That's not taking. No, I'm talking about the first one you suggested. Because you said we could do two. Or let's just do this last one. We do the small one and then I really honestly like the Am I the Dirt for Telling My Wife to Get Her Job. She wants to subsize kids. Okay, we can read that one. I'm sorry. That's fine. I changed it for you. Just like my Disney lists. Yeah. Also... Much thanks for vacuuming, The person who backed you. agreed with me. So... No. I wanted to ask you a question. Did you see the TikTok rice at you? Which one? The Disney one? No, you haven't. Okay. Alright, you can only pick two. Number one, no wait times. Number two, unlimited merch. Number three, free dining. Number four, an annual week long stay at a deluxe resort. You can only pick two. not, the annual week is just at the resort, it's not for the parks or anything? They're, they're resort parks. They're the resorts. But you're just staying at one of the resorts. You're You don't have them pass through the parks? Correct. It doesn't specify which... Well, most of the time in the annual... I'll take the unlimited merch, because I like merch. I did unlimited merch in the annual week-long stay at the Deluxe Resort. Wait, is there two? You can pick two? You can pick two, yeah. No wait times, unlimited merch, free dining, annual week-long stay at the Deluxe Resort. Yeah, would do the Lux and the free merch. Agreed. Because? Because waiting in lines is just part of... being an amusement park. I don't mind waiting in line, especially depending on the week that we go. Yeah. We get an annual week every week that we get to stay at a resort that we don't have to pay for. Yeah. And then all you have to do is have the park entry. Yeah. All you have to do and then you have free transportation. really, truly, it's just the park pass, which you go is like you just got to spend the money to drive down there. You park your car all week and then you just ride the buses to the parks. Buses, Skyliner, wherever you stay at. Okay. I just wanted to, I was curious. I wanted to ask that. I'm glad you said Disney because that triggered that for me to ask you this. Okay. Am I the jerk for telling my boss to apologize to my wife? My boss called twice at 5.50 a.m. I was in the bathroom. After I didn't answer, he called my wife at 5.55 a.m. and woke her up to get me. She later told me that she was super freaked out thinking something happened to me. She had no idea in the moment if I was home or not, because he wasn't in the room, he was in the bathroom. It was over a customer machine that was quote, not working. That I, that I was programming the day prior. I rushed in and it was indeed working. I'll bet they suffered some downtime on third shift. I called them out in an email and said this was unacceptable behavior and demanded an apology to my wife. Am I absolutely crazy? To me, it is common sense to wait until 7 a.m. or 8 a.m. unless it is literally a matter of life and death. believe it. First off, why does the boss even have the wife's number? And the thing is that one of the comments was like, he got that from the emergency contact, then he's in violation because there should have been no reason that he called the wife. Yeah. Like it doesn't matter. I don't think it's a dirt. Yeah. I think, I think. Asking for an apology is a bit crazy because you're not gonna get one for her. ⁓ yeah, I agree. 100 % agree that that's ridiculous. Ridiculous. Okay. Are you ready for our last one? I mean... decided on the Am I the jerk for telling my wife to get a job if she wants to subsidize the kids? Which means support the kids. Support. Okay. Ready? Are you strapped in? I'm strapped in. Remember when I was making sounds when I was reading like, oh! Yeah. All I kept hearing was, I was watching British game last night and just kept hearing gasps. And I'm like, what is going on over there? This this one made me gasp. I was like, Are you kidding me? The things? So she really wanted to read this one. I did. So she might as well have not asked me which one I prefer. I know. I'm just trying to give you options. But you You always give me options. You always ask me what should I wear and I suggest something and then you go and put something else on. Well, because I feel like I'm not really in the mood for that or something. then don't show me it. Just put on what you're in the mood for. ⁓ I don't know I'm in the mood until I hear ⁓ thing. Okay, ⁓ just get into this. Yeah. Or tangenting again. ⁓ Tangent Starter over there. ⁓ ⁓ until our youngest kid graduated from university, ⁓ worked crazy hours out of town to pay for everything. ⁓ worked six weeks ⁓ ⁓ hour days ⁓ I would get three weeks off ⁓ works out to 56 hours a week if you average it out ⁓ been doing that since I was 35 years old ⁓ allowed my wife to stay at home and take care of the kids and the house ⁓ also use ⁓ it to pay off our mortgage as well ⁓ put new cars for cash ⁓ like ⁓ new cars for cash ⁓ whenever we needed. I'll describe our budget so you guys can judge. After taxes, we used my take home to pay the mortgage and bills. We then paid into the kids college funds, then into our retirement fund. Then we topped up our retirement account. We put money into our emergency fund. Then whatever was left was split 50-50. Our tax refund was our vacation fund. Now I'm 55. So keep in mind, doing it 20 years, okay? Being on the road for six weeks. and then getting three weeks off. I'm assuming he's a trucker because that- must be a truck driver again. It sounds very much trucker. Yeah. Now I'm 55 and I'm tired. My body is beat and I need to slow down. Our kids are both through university. Both got their degrees and have jobs. I did my part. The company I worked for had a job open for an office job. I applied and got it. It's a 9 to 5 city job, 40 hours a week. Better hourly rate plus a compensation. However, it is a lot less money without the overtime. I'm getting 44 hours a week of overtime. That's huge. I was getting 44 hours a week overtime. So that's why he was he was raking it in. Yeah. Which truck drivers they can rake it in depending on you know who they go with and how often they they work like they can. Yeah. They can make some good money. So. But we have money in the bank and I have an easy stretch until I retire. That's why he took this, this kind of office job. Kind of took a downgrade, relax a little bit. My wife, however, is upset. Both kids are quote struggling for the record. They live at home rent free, but they want cars and apartments of their own. They can afford that. They just want to, they just won't be getting luxury cars and huge apartments. We no longer have a mortgage and my wife and I are both driving vehicles purchased in the last three years. Still under warranty. Our budget no longer has education funds either. We still have more than we need and my wife and I each have a thousand dollars each month to spend however we want. I am saving up for a new garage slash shop. My wife has been giving hers to the kids. She is hinting that I should also contribute. $1,000 to spend a month cheese between two children. That's five hundred dollars. Could you I would love I would love Love love love if my parents got a thousand dollars to just throw my way Even if I get 500 of that. Mm-hmm throw in my way. ⁓ my goodness monthly. Yeah, yeah, that's ridiculously crazy University and they're still living at home yet they have their degrees and I think they also have jobs. They can't afford their own stuff. They just want fancy things. Loader stuff. That you can't really afford. So. My wife has been giving hers to the kids. She is hinting that I also contribute. I think I've contributed enough. I told her to get a job. She's only 46. She can go to work and give them her salary. I still provide housing and food for all of them. So she won't starve or anything. Her and the kids think that I'm being cruel and one of the little ones said I was being lazy by cutting my hours so much. This is my hill to die on. I've done the hard work long enough I want to enjoy my life and I'm jerk for telling her to get a job and give them her money oh those kids would be out of the house there was a comment that said those kids would be out of the house how many years did he work for you and worked 40 work what that's 80 hours a week he worked 80 hours a week until he was 55 and then he's like I'm gonna get me an easier job. Yeah a more laid-back job. It's not great like he still makes decent money. I mean my dad is in his 50s and he still works. Well mean like when when FedEx offers to overtime he works as much as he can. Yeah. nobody's at home and he still works like crazy. Yeah. Well. I just, I just, they have no mortgage. Everything's bought out. They have no debt. She got to stay at home, not work a job. I don't know how long she hasn't worked a job. Yeah. But she's, she's been able to stay home for at least 30 years. 20. 20 years? Yeah. 25. 35. stayed home for twenty years. she's ten years younger than him. Yes, and she's younger than him. And she wants to give all the money to the children. Who have... Who have their own jobs and their own degrees. And need to figure out life for themselves and not be babied. And this is how your kids don't turn out. This is how their kids are gonna get screwed I don't know. As soon as... like... As soon as school was done with, there was no living weren't free. You give me rent. Yeah. Learn how to pay rent. Learn how to pay for your own bills. It would have been a whole lesson of that. You're going to college and you're you're focusing on college. Fine. I'll handle it. But at the same time, after that's done, you have this degree and you have a job. I'm going to start charging you. because you need to learn that responsibility if no one has taught you. And the thing is, is that the public school system does not teach kids anything about real life finances or anything like that. So it's jobs, it's our jobs as parents, you know? When we have kids, we have to teach them money. We have to teach them an understanding of money and... example right here of. I'm mommy's giving me money because I'm struggling just because I'm being lazy after I got my degree and I don't really want to put the effort into Busting my rear like my dad did like no No, no, I you would think of how hard it would work How much work their dad put in that they would fully I guess not everybody's like that. Yeah, well and he was gone a lot of the time. Keep in mind six weeks. You're gone two months. Yeah. Yeah, well being a truck driver. Well, I'm assuming it's a truck. I don't know. It could be some sort of oil company. I don't know. ⁓ But yeah, I just... I find that absolutely crazy. Bizarre. The fact that you would even say that to your parent that they're being lazy when they're reaching almost retirement age. When they should be able to enjoy their life. They would be on the street and be like, who's lazy now? Yeah, Jonah's kicking them out. Good luck to our children if you're watching this, future children. Hope your dad hasn't thrown you out yet. Hopefully your mom's taught you good about finances though. That's my plan, is to teach you about finances. Alright, alright that was the episode. That's what I had so what were your thoughts? episode? Yeah, I mean I feel like we were both pretty tired this episode. No, I was I really wanted to do this. Well, I know you really wanted to. I wasn't really tired. don't know why I'm so beat today. Alright, well we'll catch you next time. Starting Wednesdays. on Wednesdays. But, comment here, happy birthday to me. Happy birthday, Susan. She's turning the big 2-9. One year away from 30. One year away from three centuries on this planet. Nope. Wait, centuries? Decades. Three decades. Centuries. Wow. ⁓ no. I was just gonna let it go. She's like, I'm not gonna correct you. I I was gonna let someone else say that, I was good not doing it. Yeah, yeah, yeah! Okay. a party. Bye! Bye!