Latest / AWAKEN with Dylan Ayaloo: Inner Work, Healing, Yoga & Meditation / [EP35] Healing Past Wounds

Transcript

[EP35] Healing Past Wounds · AWAKEN with Dylan Ayaloo: Inner Work, Healing, Yoga & Meditation

• 0:00
  The message I wanted to share today was around healing past wounds and how to let go of what's holding you back so that you can move forward, which is the essence of transformation and one of the core things that we do in our body of work.
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  and the things I want to cover around this topic is
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  why we get affected by our past stuff
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  even when you try to just move on in quotes
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  and how to recognize some of these past wounds, triggers, traumas
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  these are all words that people use
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  and a simple process
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  another three-step process
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  because we love the threes and the fives and the sevens and the nines and the tens
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  three-step process on how to release the past and step into freedom, step into a future you
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  and start to live from that place. And obviously, this is not a full program, which is why we have
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  things like Awaken, which goes for three days. So I'll do what I can in the time allocated for
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  me sharing on this topic. So why is it that some of our past stuff, I'll just use the word stuff,
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  coming back. It's because we haven't actually processed it. And we cannot compartmentalize it
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  just to the emotions. It's not just in our thoughts. Because our body, our mind, our emotions,
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  breath in the body even is connected. It is all interconnected. And as I've spoken many times in
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  various free workshops and in programs, the body tells our story of our life, right? And people
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  like Basil talk about how it's actually how cells are eavesdropping and listening and the body keeps
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  score, right? That's his book. So we know, and I think there's enough people talking about it and
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  have researched it, that we carry it in our body, we carry it in our emotions, we carry it
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  energetically. It's not just something that you can convince yourself or do some affirmations or
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  do some little bit of movement or some breathing or go and take some medicines and plant medicines
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  or whatever and just have it go away. It requires that we have to roll up our sleeves and do the
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  work as in look inwards and not just look inwards but hopefully have the support of someone or some
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  people or a group or a process where you can actually process it so that you can move through
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  it and be free from it. And not so much like redefine or rewrite the story, but actually be
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  able to step into a version of you that you're calling forth, a version of you that is already
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  healed and start to live from that place, whereby you are able to or have already assigned
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  a different, more useful, more empowering meaning to that same situation, to the same thing that
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  is in the past. While we cannot change the past, we can change the meaning that we give it.
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  It can show up. Our past stuff can show up in relationships or relationship struggles,
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  intimate or non-intimate. So in intimate, for example, it could be that we're attracting people
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  who are just not there, not available, for example,
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  or maybe they have trouble trusting,
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  or maybe there's a fear of opening up,
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  being vulnerable, fear of intimacy,
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  and not just physically, but emotionally.
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  So letting love in, for example.
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  It can show up in the form of self-doubt and fear.
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  You're doubting yourself, you're playing small
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  and not wanting to take measured risks even,
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  or they're too measured, so we never taken.
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  Or just feeling like this constant feeling
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  not worthy, right? Just like self-doubt and fear. And then little things, for example, can
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  just trigger things up, right? So it just brings up a huge reaction to something that maybe doesn't
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  warrant that. And it's not just some accidental reason why that happens. It's not an accident.
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  Normally, it goes back to something in our past and it's bringing something in our past.
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  And from my experience of working with people, what I've realized is that when stuff comes up,
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  it's not because your mind is trying to attack you or put you down or block you, right? Or it's
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  not just your emotions that's trying to get in the way. This layer is coming up because
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  you're ready to heal, right? Like you're ready to actually evolve beyond how this layer, this
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  pattern, this thing from the past has maybe been holding you back. So it's coming up because you
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  now most likely have the resources, the awareness, whatever amount of awareness that you have to
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  be able to look at it. And whether we want to or not is another question. Whether you want to heal
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  or not is another question. And I say you, but I'm talking about anyone listening and interested.
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  So it's not like the mind is trying to punish you. It's essentially, it's trying to protect you.
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  That's why we might play small.
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  That's why we have these struggles in our relationships.
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  That's why these tiny things actually trigger huge emotions and emotional reactions.
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  And what are the steps to healing and letting go and evolving beyond this?
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  The first part, as is in our framework, which you probably would have guessed I would come back to, feel, is around getting present.
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  using breath and body connection to get present, you can do it on the level of the mind as well,
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  like bringing awareness to, okay, what is this pattern? And really starting to see it as if we
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  would, if we were physically with someone and we are paying attention to them and really seeing
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  them for who they are. Just like that, we are seeing a past version of ourself and that past
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  thing, right? Whatever the thing is, whether it was something that was done or not done enough of,
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  said or not said enough of, whatever the thing is from the past, the stuff, right? As I called it
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  before, to really give it the time and place, the space that it needs, the presence that it needs,
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  which is one of the reasons I call it feel. So feeling into the body, feeling into the breath
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  makes it tangible for us to go in and track it from the place of breath and body, but it's not
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  and body. Essentially, it's presencing, giving enough room for the thing that is coming up or
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  wanting to come up and reveal itself and to whatever depth that is ready to reveal the pattern
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  for us to really give it the space that it needs. And of course, in our modern day life,
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  we are distracted and overwhelmed, overstimulated. So normally our reaction is to not deal with it in
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  some way or another. Either run away, hide away, block it, numb away, whatever the pattern is.
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  Whatever it is, basically just not dealing with it. So the first part is actually
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  presence, which is giving it the room, giving it the space that it needs. And it certainly helps
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  when you are presencing it, as in even if you're doing it in the mind and you're thinking back to
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  that time and place in your timeline, deep breathing can help. Because while you're going
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  memory, emotions are going to come up. And the name of the game in this point of the process is
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  to give yourself space. And one of the ways to give yourself space is to take up space in your lungs
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  by filling it up with deep breaths. And by switching into deep breathing, it helps the
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  nervous system, the body calm down and again, feel some spaciousness, some room as you are seeing,
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  as you are presencing this thing from the past.
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  So it gives it room.
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  A lot of times, just giving it some room,
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  or if you can, more or a lot of room,
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  is the healing process already.
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  Like a lot of times is enough for it to shift.
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  And then other times it's not enough.
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  Like it just presences it and then it's like,
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  okay, now what do I do with it?
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  And this is where I think from my experience
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  with people, being in an environment that is loving, that is supportive, having someone or
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  some people that are skilled and qualified and experienced enough to help you navigate
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  the terrain of this stuff that is coming up, the past stuff, is not just useful, but it's,
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  I would say, mandatory. It's essential. It's the most important thing because I think it's not,
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  It's a time now where on one level, it's good that people are more open to looking at themselves, or at least it seems like it.
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  And then there is also a lot of what I'm seeing out there is people who are not skilled, experienced enough, opening other people up and not being able to deal with this stuff.
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  So make sure you surround yourself not just in an environment, but a process and with the personal people who have actually hopefully done this many times.
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  and can guide you through, right?
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  So they have, essentially, they've been doing the work themselves, right?
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  And they're ahead of the game.
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  And not just being a practitioner, but a facilitator,
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  like being able to hold space for you to process and help you navigate
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  because you are in unknown terrains, right?
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  So emotional, mostly terrains, that is unknown.
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  And it's almost like you need someone to be able to guide you
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  sat-nav, right? They can say, okay, turn right or turn left or keep going straight,
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  right? Like breathe deeply, stay with this, feel this in your body or feel the emotion or whatever
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  the thing is. So being able to help you process it. And in our body work, so much of what we do
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  with the story work, it's like going back and really getting into the truth of that time,
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  place situation. So what is the truth of that thing, that situation in the past?
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  So being in it, whatever the thing was in the past, that situation in the past,
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  sitting in the roller coaster is one perspective and being outside of the roller coaster and seeing
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  which way it goes gives you a completely different perspective.
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  and essentially going back and being not unattached or unemotional, being present in it and with it,
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  but also allowing yourself a different perspective. This time, as you go back to that thing in the
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  past, being able to see, oh, okay, I'm not in the roller coaster, which may have been the experience
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  all this time. Like you're in it, in the drive, in the roller coaster seat, up and down, in and out,
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  Screaming your lungs out, having the emotional rollercoaster, allowing yourself to feel, but also being able to zoom out and look at it and see it for what it is.
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  And that takes capacity within yourself.
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  It takes work, presence, awareness, or and or someone to hold your hand as in someone or several.
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  Someone's there to hold the space for you to process that.
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  And the other part I found, which is why we do things the way we do it, is other people, community, that are also along the journey, that are loving, caring, supportive, that they may not be facilitating your process, but because they are present with you, presence can be extremely healing.
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  Presence is what?
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  It's love, right?
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  It's not intimate love, but it's just unattached, right?
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  With no conditions.
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  pouring in love into this thing, you could say like a pass spoon, so that it can actually heal,
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  so that you have a different perspective and you can get into a place where
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  you could say, see the truth of that situation, time, place, thing, right, that has happens,
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  that keeps coming up and it's coming up, as I said before, because it's ready to be healed.
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  So that's why I say, you know, rewriting it doesn't work. It's actually going back and
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  seeking out the truth. And so often I'm talking about it from seeing, but it can be seeing,
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  hearing, feeling, experiencing, getting a different perspective, which is a kind of a different way
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  of reaching, let's say, assigning a new, more useful, empowering meaning to that thing in the
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  past. So yes, that's also an extremely powerful exercise to do. And to whatever degree we have
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  the presence, the capacity to hold presence on the pattern, you could assign, look at the current
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  meaning as it's been held for years, and then maybe say, okay, I want to assign a new meaning to it.
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  But just that doesn't seem to be long-lasting enough. People tend to just, what I've observed
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  is that we just tend to go back into our old patterns. We start to drop back into the old
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  thing and relive that again and again. So it's not really basically healed, right? So for it to be
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  what I've discovered is for us to really get to the core of what is the truth in that situation,
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  in that time-place situation. And then obviously, it's not just limited to words or thoughts in the
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  mind. It's not just emotions that we are feeling. It's not just in our physical body. They're all
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  interlinked. That's actually why we also work on the level of body, emotion, mind, right, and
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  energetically. Obviously, we're energetic beings having this physical experience. And when you
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  different dimension, it accelerates exponentially the speed of us getting the results and the
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  long-lasting-ness of the effects of the healing. I'll just make up some words while I'm at it.
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  The long-lasting-ness of it is what I've found. So therefore then your pain, your past, your trauma,
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  the thing in the past doesn't have to define you. It's what you do with it.
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  every time it comes up.
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  Do we push it away?
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  Do we just run away from it?
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  Do we hide it away?
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  Or are you willing to actually choose
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  what feels difficult at that time
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  and then to look at it and to give it the room
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  and then allow yourself to process it,
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  hopefully in an environment
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  that has the support structures built around.
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  And then it's integrating it back into our lives.
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  So it's not just, oh, a thing that I did
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  it lands enough for it to just take effect. But so often it's integrating it back, giving some time
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  to integrate back, because it could be a huge shift emotionally, which then takes time to land
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  into the body, for example, and then for us to put into practice. And then it's showing up from
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  the version of you that is already healed. So keep coming from the version. And that's why a more
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  relatable, tangible version is, you could say, future, right? So that's why I keep going back
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  to like future you. But if a version of you that is already healed, how would he or she deal with
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  this? Same situation, maybe that has come up in different places, different people, but the same
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  situation, for example, same pattern. Integrations. First part is like presencing it. And as you start
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  to presence it in our framework is feel. And then the next part, it's heal, the heal part of the work.
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  notice like I generally don't give a lot of, oh, go and journal about this. Yes, of course we do
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  those things. But the reason people have these transformations so often is if you could have
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  done it on your own, you would have. Right? So, and you do a lot on your own with the practice,
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  with the meditation. And then it comes a time when time and place for you to have your hand be held
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  and be navigated through that pattern
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  so you can get onto the other side of it.
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  And once the shifts can take place
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  and once you can see, let's say,
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  the truth of that time-place situation,
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  emotions may free up.
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  Maybe part of it is, yeah, like letting go exercises.
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  We do forgiveness exercises, for example,
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  in group healings in Awaken.
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  All of that has a reason, right?
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  So much of the work is actually clearing, letting go,
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  and then connecting to the truth of that thing
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  place, that time, and then integrating it. And part of the integration is making different choices
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  rather than coming from maybe like a hurt wounded me, coming from a version of me that is integrating,
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  is healing, or is already healed. And even though there's a pull to react the old way I might have,
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  sometimes there's enough awareness for us to choose. Other times we'll keep falling back
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  and there'll be probably a time span
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  where we're integrating,
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  we're putting it into practice.
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  And then sometimes over time,
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  so again, you've done it,
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  you say, yeah, cool,
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  I've dealt with this layer,
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  I've healed it.
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  And then you're going up
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  the multi-story car park or the spiral
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  and then the same thing comes up again.
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  But now you're at a different level.
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  You've integrated it,
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  you're in a different place in your life,
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  but what looks like the same pattern comes up,
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  but you're a different level.
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  And that's also part of the journey
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  of healing it and integrating it.
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  And sometimes you might need to go again, dig in again, heal another layer that is related.
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  And then you get freed up from that.
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  And then you keep going to the next level.
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  Sometimes the pattern comes back a few times.
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  I thought I'd share on this topic today because it's also relevant.
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  It's a time of the year where for those that are listening mostly to the recordings on all the different platforms, it's an opportunity.
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  There's several doorways of coming into this body of work.
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  And obviously, hopefully there's enough there if you want to just go and do it on your own.
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  but twice a year we do this thing called Awaken
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  and it's three days
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  it's as accessible as I can make it
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  it's yes it's intensive
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  and sometimes some parts of it is intense
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  but it's not just intense
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  and it's happening next weekend
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  and if whoever is listening
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  would like to come in and join in
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  there will be some links
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  somewhere around wherever you're watching this video
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  those of you who's funny talking to people in the future
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  around here who's live obviously
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  you guys will be there
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  so we're going to have an amazing time
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  And we do the crux of the healing work in day two of Awakens, Transformation Day.
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  Some powerful exercises and healings that we do there.
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  So if it's not this process, if it's not me or this community, then find someone or a community that you align with and that can hold space for you and help you heal.
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  But from my experience of working with thousands of people now, tens of thousands of people on yoga mats, off yoga mats, in course rooms, online, in person, different parts of the world, almost two decades, 18 years now, these are some of the patterns that I've observed facilitating transformation work.