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HOW TO DEAL WITH LONELINESS · Blind But Now I See

0:00
Speaker 1: Back at it for another episode of the Blonde by
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Speaker 1: n S Show.
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Speaker 2: I am your host FOBC Note the Hood Ray Charles
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Speaker 2: Blonde Pop if you Nasty, the Voice of the Disabled,
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Speaker 2: the official, the Official Big Blonde Stepper.
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Speaker 1: And this is another episode.
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Speaker 2: You know, we'll we at WTF Media Studio two sixty
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Speaker 2: five Canal Street where magic happens. I'm in the studio
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Speaker 2: with my favorite producer, engineer, my guy. Well, oh that's
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Speaker 2: the calling colon colon, and don't forget to tap in
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Speaker 2: www dot FOBC no dot com. There's a lot of
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Speaker 2: content up there and more content coming and be about
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Speaker 2: to create more magic. But in this episode right here,
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Speaker 2: we're gonna talk about loneliness. I feel like everybody look
0:44
Speaker 2: at me and say, hey, he's blond. I think being
0:46
Speaker 2: in the Donke is his biggest thing, that's on the
0:48
Speaker 2: top of his list, that that's bothering him. No, it's
0:51
Speaker 2: me being alone, that's the biggest thing on the list.
0:55
Speaker 1: I feel like I'm alone. And it's when I say
0:57
Speaker 1: I'm alone.
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Speaker 2: Yeah, I got family, I got friends, I got associates,
1:03
Speaker 2: I got people around me, But it's nothing like when
1:07
Speaker 2: you're going home. You alone, and I feel like we
1:11
Speaker 2: need to touch more into that. When we get deep
1:13
Speaker 2: into the episode, I may explain and give you the
1:17
Speaker 2: real reason why I feel like I'm alone. And that's
1:19
Speaker 2: the biggest thing that plays a part of my life.
1:22
Speaker 2: When I got shot April twenty first, I suffer with loneliness.
1:26
Speaker 2: I felt like I was by myself.
1:27
Speaker 1: No matter. I have my mother, I have my girl,
1:30
Speaker 1: I have my kids, I have.
1:32
Speaker 2: My family, my friends all around me, but when they leave,
1:36
Speaker 2: I'm in that room by myself. I'm facing that dog
1:39
Speaker 2: by myself. Even when I'm around them and we laughing,
1:41
Speaker 2: we joking, my mind always keep telling me, yo, you're
1:45
Speaker 2: by yourself, because when they say, yo, look at that
1:47
Speaker 2: across the street, or look at that shorty just sent me,
1:51
Speaker 2: or look at I can't relate. It's like, damn, I'm
1:55
Speaker 2: by myself. I'm in It's like I'm in my own class.
1:59
Speaker 2: I'm in my own brad.
2:00
Speaker 1: I don't. I ain't gonna lie. It fucks me up
2:04
Speaker 1: a lot.
2:05
Speaker 2: It hurts cause it's like we could laugh, we could joke,
2:08
Speaker 2: we could play, but nobody can't relate to what I'm
2:11
Speaker 2: going through, and that's being in the dog. I feel
2:13
Speaker 2: like I'm really alone. And somebody once told me, you're
2:17
Speaker 2: not alone. I'm right here with you. But it's like
2:19
Speaker 2: you can't understand what I'm going through. That lonely shit
2:24
Speaker 2: is depressing. I got PTSD, the anxiety depression, and it's
2:31
Speaker 2: like I ain't gonna lie. Additionhit is bad up until today,
2:37
Speaker 2: being happy, I'm still lonely. I still get lonely sometimes
2:42
Speaker 2: it's you need that person to lay next to the
2:46
Speaker 2: feels somewhat you're not lonely, But I'm still lonely.
2:50
Speaker 1: When I go to sleep, I'm in a dog.
2:52
Speaker 2: I'm lonely. When I wake up, I'm lonely. When I'm
2:54
Speaker 2: walking in I'm in a shower, I'm lonely. When I'm
2:56
Speaker 2: with people, I'm lonely. I just lonely is a fucking
3:00
Speaker 2: drug that is like, you know, it's like that drug
3:05
Speaker 2: that you own, and it's like it's hard to shake
3:08
Speaker 2: that monkey is on your back. It's like, no matter what,
3:10
Speaker 2: it's like, that shit is always dead calling you. I
3:13
Speaker 2: feel like the loneliness is always calling me. I can't
3:16
Speaker 2: shake this shit no matter who I'm around. I can't
3:18
Speaker 2: shake this shit no.
3:19
Speaker 1: Matter what I do. It's like have it been somewhere
3:24
Speaker 1: like I don't, damn, how can I break this shit down?
3:31
Speaker 2: M It's like putting a blindfold on and somebody telling you,
3:35
Speaker 2: look what's going on on the TV.
3:37
Speaker 1: And then in your mind is like, how the fuck
3:38
Speaker 1: can you see what's going on on TV? It's like, oh,
3:43
Speaker 1: I can't.
3:44
Speaker 2: It's hard to make people come into my word to
3:46
Speaker 2: understand what this lonely shit it really is. It's like
3:48
Speaker 2: when people laugh at something and then they got to
3:51
Speaker 2: turn around and describe it and explain it to me
3:53
Speaker 2: to try to help me laugh. I'm lonely, Like I
3:57
Speaker 2: may laugh yeah, yeah, yeah, But then in my mom
4:00
Speaker 2: I'm like, damn, I don't know. It's like that's a
4:04
Speaker 2: it's a fuck. It's just not a loneliness. It's not
4:07
Speaker 2: even gonna hold you off. And it's like the more
4:10
Speaker 2: and more I think about it, it's like, would I
4:14
Speaker 2: ever not be lonely?
4:16
Speaker 1: People are?
4:17
Speaker 2: People got different farm shapes and reasons of like what
4:22
Speaker 2: they call lonely.
4:24
Speaker 1: I lost my girl, I'm lonely.
4:27
Speaker 2: Or they left out the house. They're gonna be going
4:29
Speaker 2: for a couple of weeks or months. I'm lonely here
4:33
Speaker 2: by myself or my loneliness never cut on and cut off.
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Speaker 1: It's I'm always in the dark. I'm always lonely. It's
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Speaker 1: like walking through the walking through the woods.
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Speaker 2: Or walking down the dark tunnel, and it's like, damn,
4:49
Speaker 2: when do this tunnel end? When the fun I'm gonna
4:52
Speaker 2: come out this tunnel? When I'm gonna see that the
4:54
Speaker 2: light shining at the end of that tunnel? Like walking
4:56
Speaker 2: through the woods, it's like, damn, when do I'm gonna
4:58
Speaker 2: see that road to know that I I can follow
5:00
Speaker 2: this role? It's like that shit, just keep going and
5:03
Speaker 2: keep going and keep going. And then it's like, I'm
5:05
Speaker 2: in this room by.
5:06
Speaker 1: Myself for fucking twelve years. That's lonely, and I'm tired
5:12
Speaker 1: of being lonely. So what the fuck did I do
5:14
Speaker 1: to get out of this loneliness? Because I'm really lonely.
5:18
Speaker 2: I feel like not even a woman can help me
5:21
Speaker 2: not be lonely, because she would she would never understand
5:26
Speaker 2: the search of being in a room in the dark
5:30
Speaker 2: and you flll on the walls and trying to turn
5:32
Speaker 2: on the light switch, and it's like you go to
5:35
Speaker 2: the light switch and you flick it on, and it's
5:37
Speaker 2: the room. It's still dark. You're still in there by yourself.
5:40
Speaker 2: You're still lonely, and you just flicking, you flicking. It's
5:43
Speaker 2: no dose to this room, it's no windows to this room.
5:46
Speaker 2: After a while, you just sit in the corner and that.
5:48
Speaker 2: As time go by and the time start flying and
5:51
Speaker 2: the days start going, it's.
5:52
Speaker 1: Like you're feeling more and more loneliness. It's like, then,
5:55
Speaker 1: what could I do? I was lonely?
5:57
Speaker 2: Even when I was around my loved ones, they would
5:58
Speaker 2: never understand my pain. They could be around me all day,
6:01
Speaker 2: but they gotta go home, and I gotta go into
6:03
Speaker 2: that room by myself. I gotta I gotta face these
6:07
Speaker 2: four walls by myself. I gotta be in a dog
6:09
Speaker 2: by myself. Even when it is there, it's like I'm
6:13
Speaker 2: sitting down in the middle of people that everybody that
6:15
Speaker 2: can see. It's like they would never understand that. Even
6:20
Speaker 2: when my mother said and say, I'm in a dock
6:22
Speaker 2: with you, so you never alone, And I say and say, man,
6:26
Speaker 2: are you Because it's like when you go to sleep,
6:31
Speaker 2: you gonna wash the news. You gonna look out your window.
6:35
Speaker 2: You can see the rain, you can see the dog,
6:37
Speaker 2: you can see the sun. You can you can see
6:39
Speaker 2: a lot. I can't see that. So it's like we
6:42
Speaker 2: living in two different worlds. As much as you want
6:44
Speaker 2: to be in this world with your child and God
6:46
Speaker 2: me through it, you can never relate to it. You
6:49
Speaker 2: will never understand that that that space and that place
6:55
Speaker 2: and in my heart that I feel like I'm lonely.
7:00
Speaker 2: Sometimes I feel like me being lonely, I would never
7:02
Speaker 2: find my real love, my true love. So I feel
7:06
Speaker 2: like a lot of people spend time trying to figure
7:10
Speaker 2: me out and try to enter this world of me
7:12
Speaker 2: being an adult, that they don't understand that they just
7:16
Speaker 2: pushing me to be even more lonely. And when I
7:20
Speaker 2: say it like I'm not mean by that is I'm
7:23
Speaker 2: trying to make it to the doc. I ain't trying
7:25
Speaker 2: to have company in here with me, and people will
7:28
Speaker 2: never understand that.
7:31
Speaker 1: I I feel like.
7:34
Speaker 2: Mm mmmm, the lonely shit is now thinking about it
7:40
Speaker 2: is like no matter how much you play with that person,
7:44
Speaker 2: no matter how much you love that person, no matter
7:46
Speaker 2: how much you take that person outside, the best thing
7:50
Speaker 2: you can sit and do is say, I don't know
7:53
Speaker 2: what you're going through.
7:55
Speaker 1: I wish I knew what you're going through. I can't
7:58
Speaker 1: help what you're going through.
8:00
Speaker 2: I could just be a support on the outside, cause
8:04
Speaker 2: no matter how much you love they give you, how
8:06
Speaker 2: much they play with you, or how much they try
8:07
Speaker 2: to figure it out, you always gonna be lonely. I'm
8:11
Speaker 2: always gonna be lonely. I'm always gonna be in a
8:13
Speaker 2: dog by myself. I'm fighting this like I like I
8:16
Speaker 2: explained to my mother and my siblings, like, yeah, y'all
8:19
Speaker 2: fighting this fight with me, but y'all gotta fight this
8:21
Speaker 2: fight with me.
8:22
Speaker 1: On the outside.
8:24
Speaker 2: It's like I'm i'm I'm I'm in a I'm in
8:26
Speaker 2: a ring, fighting a dark in a loneliness. It's like,
8:31
Speaker 2: you know, like like I'm Mike Tyson and Don King
8:34
Speaker 2: on the outside. Yo, jab left, jab bright. It's like,
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Speaker 2: y'all got me through it, but y'all will never know
8:39
Speaker 2: how it feels to get punch and knock down and
8:43
Speaker 2: sit there and say like, damn, I think I'm gonna.
8:45
Speaker 1: Let this dark and this loneliness take over.
8:49
Speaker 2: Cause it's like no matter how how much I fight
8:52
Speaker 2: and how many days I get up and sit and
8:54
Speaker 2: say I'm prepared for it, I'm rested. I can I
8:57
Speaker 2: can fight a couple of more rounds. The loneliness always
9:01
Speaker 2: swallowed me. It's nothing that my loved ones can do
9:09
Speaker 2: about me being lonely.
9:12
Speaker 1: I'm still trying to figure this shit out.
9:14
Speaker 2: I feel I started feeling lonely when I found out
9:17
Speaker 2: it was a bigger reason for me to live for.
9:19
Speaker 2: I realized that I'm not the only one that's in
9:21
Speaker 2: the dark. I feel like I'm not the only one
9:23
Speaker 2: that's just fighting his fight. I feel like when my
9:26
Speaker 2: son called me, it's like, I can't let this loneliness
9:29
Speaker 2: swallow me.
9:30
Speaker 1: I got to be a father. I feel like when
9:32
Speaker 1: my siblings need me, I just can't let this lonely
9:35
Speaker 1: take advantage of me and take over my body. Because
9:38
Speaker 1: they need me.
9:39
Speaker 2: I feel like the bigger cause was I'm not just
9:42
Speaker 2: doing it for my friends and family.
9:43
Speaker 1: I'm doing it for the people that have no way out.
9:46
Speaker 2: I feel like I'm that reason that people searching and
9:50
Speaker 2: getting off the couch and looking for that light to
9:52
Speaker 2: come on. I feel like I am the cause. It's
9:56
Speaker 2: like I feel like God put all this loneliness shit
9:59
Speaker 2: on my shoulders.
10:00
Speaker 1: As you know I can. I know how to carry it,
10:02
Speaker 1: and I'm I'm the man for it.
10:04
Speaker 2: I'm the perfect person for it because I know how
10:05
Speaker 2: to navigate through this whole loneliness shit.
10:08
Speaker 1: I feel like me being lonely is bigger than me.
10:12
Speaker 2: I can't get stuck in the I can't get stuck
10:15
Speaker 2: in the dark and being alone because it's like my
10:18
Speaker 2: grandmother that has de mention needs me, my grandfather that
10:21
Speaker 2: need me to schedule them doctor's appointments and go with
10:24
Speaker 2: him to the bank.
10:24
Speaker 1: Needs me, my son needs me.
10:28
Speaker 2: And then like no, low key Wolf, that shit takes
10:31
Speaker 2: me out of being lonely. I feel like, hm, hm
10:37
Speaker 2: damn always fucked me up on the podcast, thinking like.
10:43
Speaker 3: When y'all whole crying, blame Wolf, you feel me because no, Lie,
10:50
Speaker 3: when I come in the studio and I'm talking on
10:52
Speaker 3: this mic, I don't feel lonely no more.
10:55
Speaker 1: I'm talking to the world.
10:56
Speaker 2: I feel like the world is there with their hands
10:58
Speaker 2: around me, and they feel like when I'm it's an
11:00
Speaker 2: episode or I miss.
11:01
Speaker 1: A week, I feel like I'm leaving them lonely.
11:04
Speaker 2: And I don't want to do that because my loneliness,
11:08
Speaker 2: I'm strong enough to survive and deal with it. Another
11:11
Speaker 2: next person loneliness might end up in suicidal. So I
11:15
Speaker 2: feel like it and it's fucked up to put that
11:18
Speaker 2: much weight on my shoulders, but I feel like I'm
11:21
Speaker 2: the man.
11:21
Speaker 1: To carry it. This shit is bigger than you. No Brown,
11:26
Speaker 1: Like damn, I don't know. Wolf always got.
11:31
Speaker 2: The topic though out a fucking nigga up. When I
11:33
Speaker 2: really think about shit like this.
11:35
Speaker 4: Bro, you gotta it's all about offering value, man, Because
11:38
Speaker 4: the real truth is is that I think it's going
11:40
Speaker 4: to be helpful when somebody here's a different perspective of loneliness. Right,
11:46
Speaker 4: somebody else's loneliness is Hold on a second, somebody else's
11:50
Speaker 4: loneliness is not less than yours, just because they haven't
11:53
Speaker 4: lost their vision. But at the same time, maybe it'll
11:55
Speaker 4: help them put into proper like help them put it
11:58
Speaker 4: into like how do you say, in a better perspective
12:01
Speaker 4: once they realize, like damn, like I'm not the only
12:04
Speaker 4: one out here. It's other people going through this exact
12:07
Speaker 4: same thing I'm going to do, even if not even harder,
12:10
Speaker 4: if not even heavier. Different story, same shit, different story,
12:13
Speaker 4: same ship. So I think like when somebody hear it
12:16
Speaker 4: from this perspective, it's going to really bring them value
12:19
Speaker 4: and bring them a little bit of hope because the
12:21
Speaker 4: first thing that I feel like the devil liked to do.
12:23
Speaker 4: The devil like to make it seem like you by yourself.
12:27
Speaker 2: He put up smoking mirrors to fuck you up, to
12:31
Speaker 2: make it seem like you you in this fight by yourself.
12:35
Speaker 2: And it's like, I want to talk to the people
12:39
Speaker 2: out there for that mother, that father that lost their child.
12:43
Speaker 2: And you felt like every time you walk past that
12:45
Speaker 2: door you open and they're not in there, like you
12:48
Speaker 2: living and like you got that loneliness inside of you
12:51
Speaker 2: because you feel like you're living by yourself. You're really
12:54
Speaker 2: not alone. You have a support around you. You have
12:57
Speaker 2: your friends, you have your family. Shit, you even got me.
13:00
Speaker 2: You'll never be lonely.
13:03
Speaker 1: Oh this shit is crazy.
13:05
Speaker 2: Boom scenario. Were in the club. One of my friends
13:11
Speaker 2: drunk like he's wild. He rubbed on a person like
13:16
Speaker 2: her thigh and she had a breakdown and for a minute,
13:21
Speaker 2: it's like she didn't see nobody but herself. She was
13:24
Speaker 2: crying and I'm looking like, like what's going on? Her
13:28
Speaker 2: friend's like she was raped. I said, damn. So it's
13:33
Speaker 2: like my loneliness is different from my loneliness. And for
13:36
Speaker 2: a minute. While her friends was dancing, she was just
13:38
Speaker 2: sitting up there. She was just crying. So I point
13:40
Speaker 2: the club on the gable, asked her what she drink,
13:42
Speaker 2: and gave her a whole bottle to herself, thinking that
13:44
Speaker 2: it was going to make a difference. But she's still crying.
13:48
Speaker 2: She's still crying, and I'm just sitting up there and
13:50
Speaker 2: I'm just like, I can never understand her, like that
13:55
Speaker 2: pain and that loneliness of being an adult.
13:57
Speaker 1: I so that kind of darkness. Yeah, you feel me.
14:00
Speaker 1: So I'm like, are you okay?
14:03
Speaker 2: And she looked at she looking at us like we's
14:06
Speaker 2: that we like that moment that she experienced in life
14:10
Speaker 2: of being raped. And I said, no, I come in peace, yea,
14:14
Speaker 2: And I wiped her face. She said, I'm I'm right,
14:17
Speaker 2: but I'm like, can I get a hug? And she
14:20
Speaker 2: stopped for a minute, like cause she ain't know what
14:22
Speaker 2: did I said, I'm telling I come in peace.
14:24
Speaker 1: I'm not here to hurt you.
14:26
Speaker 2: And she got up and she gave me a hug,
14:28
Speaker 2: and I said, yo, it's going to be all right,
14:31
Speaker 2: and she's like thank you, and she sat down. She
14:33
Speaker 2: got herself together. I went to go sit down I
14:34
Speaker 2: ain't paying it, no mine, no more. But she came
14:37
Speaker 2: and she taught me. She says, okay for me to dance.
14:40
Speaker 2: I'm like, yeah, it's okay. But just for that moment,
14:43
Speaker 2: she was lonely until I came and put my moms
14:45
Speaker 2: around her. She felt like she wasn't lonely no more
14:47
Speaker 2: until a point I was there over her friends. But
14:51
Speaker 2: she came to me and asked me as okay for
14:52
Speaker 2: her to dance, that nobody not gonna touch her. Wow,
14:55
Speaker 2: I said, yeah, you okay, nobody's not gonna touch you.
14:58
Speaker 4: You will dance next to me at that point, you
15:01
Speaker 4: like symbolize like security for her.
15:04
Speaker 2: Like her protection, Yeah, exactly. Like and just thinking about
15:07
Speaker 2: that shit just happened. It's Friday, and I'm like, what
15:10
Speaker 2: is she crying for? Like she got raped.
15:12
Speaker 4: I'm like, damn, she got triggered me first of all. Fellas,
15:15
Speaker 4: and you in the club, keep your fucking hands to yourself.
15:17
Speaker 1: That's big time. Keep your hands to your big time.
15:21
Speaker 1: But you know something that was doing it. He got
15:23
Speaker 1: little problems his damn self. He ain't mean no harm.
15:26
Speaker 2: He just one of those people like he just don't
15:28
Speaker 2: know when to just sit your ass down. He's one
15:31
Speaker 2: of those people that you got to keep next to
15:32
Speaker 2: you in the club because you know he gonna be
15:34
Speaker 2: on some dumb ship.
15:35
Speaker 1: But he mean good.
15:37
Speaker 2: So I'm like, yo, like bro, he like he ain't
15:39
Speaker 2: understand it, but I know he didn't mean it either.
15:43
Speaker 2: So she dancing and all that. I'm like, you having fun.
15:45
Speaker 2: She's like, yes, I'm having fun. But I put that
15:48
Speaker 2: shield around her to a point. She can have fun
15:51
Speaker 2: in peace, not worrying about somebody coming behind the her
15:55
Speaker 2: trying to grab up, and none of that ship.
15:57
Speaker 1: I felt good.
15:59
Speaker 2: I felt like, even when I'm in clubs, my work
16:01
Speaker 2: is still going. When you lonely, you're always going to
16:04
Speaker 2: be lonely until you do the work yourself. Don't sit
16:07
Speaker 2: there and wait for somebody to come and help you,
16:08
Speaker 2: thinking that they're going to take you out their loneliness
16:12
Speaker 2: when the only person that can take you out of
16:14
Speaker 2: being lonely is you. I feel like we depend on
16:18
Speaker 2: too many other people instead of helping ourselves out. That's
16:21
Speaker 2: the first thing of this whole thing of being lonely.
16:24
Speaker 2: Let me do the work myself. What makes me happy,
16:27
Speaker 2: what makes me feel like I'm not in the dark,
16:30
Speaker 2: What helps me feel like I'm.
16:32
Speaker 1: Love and I have my loved ones around me.
16:34
Speaker 2: Because if you keep waiting on somebody to help you,
16:36
Speaker 2: take you out to show you that you are lonely
16:38
Speaker 2: and you won't want to be lonely no more, you
16:40
Speaker 2: always going to be lonely. Like I feel like, what's
16:43
Speaker 2: the affirmations. I feel like we need to exercise that more.
16:49
Speaker 1: I am great, I am loved, I am powerful, I
16:53
Speaker 1: am not alone. I have my loved ones around me.
16:58
Speaker 1: I'm excellent.
16:59
Speaker 2: Like I feel like a lot of times we putting
17:01
Speaker 2: ourself and a dog were making ourselves lonely because we
17:04
Speaker 2: pushing the resources and the tools that we have to
17:07
Speaker 2: take us out of this shit. And I feel like
17:09
Speaker 2: we have to do better with that. So if you
17:12
Speaker 2: you home and you lonely, do the work, not tomorrow
17:15
Speaker 2: but today. As soon as you hear my voice say
17:18
Speaker 2: let's do this work, I feel like you should be
17:20
Speaker 2: getting off that couch, getting out that bed and say
17:22
Speaker 2: today is gonna be the last day I'm gonna be lonely.
17:25
Speaker 1: But no, let me take that back.
17:27
Speaker 2: You're gonna run in todays when you're gonna feel lonely again,
17:29
Speaker 2: but you're still gonna be so used to this shit
17:32
Speaker 2: that you're gonna know. I gotta get up, I gotta
17:34
Speaker 2: do this, I gotta do that. I gotta do it.
17:36
Speaker 2: You will never feel lonely again. I had to do
17:38
Speaker 2: the work. For the first eight years I was lonely.
17:42
Speaker 2: I had to do the work. And it's like nobody
17:43
Speaker 2: else couldn't do it. My mother couldn't pull my arm
17:46
Speaker 2: and say come on, let's go. We ain't gonna be
17:47
Speaker 2: lonely today. My son ain't gonna keep running out the
17:50
Speaker 2: room jumping on me and say, okay, Dad, it's not
17:52
Speaker 2: a You don't got to be lonely to today. I
17:55
Speaker 2: feel like I had to do it. I had to
17:58
Speaker 2: get up. I had to excuse me, get my mind right.
18:03
Speaker 2: I had to like make find my space when I'm
18:06
Speaker 2: happy and I can enjoy to come out of this
18:10
Speaker 2: being lonely shit.
18:11
Speaker 1: I didn't wait for somebody to come save me.
18:13
Speaker 2: I saved myself, like going in the bathroom, I'm looking
18:18
Speaker 2: in the mirror set there and said, I know I'm
18:20
Speaker 2: the king, I know I'm great.
18:23
Speaker 1: I feel good today. I had to put that in me.
18:26
Speaker 1: I'm not lonely, I'm not by myself. I'm not fighting
18:30
Speaker 1: this fight by myself. In the beginning of the episode,
18:32
Speaker 1: I sat there and said, it's like being in a.
18:34
Speaker 2: Boxing ring and you keep getting knocked down, and you're like, damn,
18:36
Speaker 2: this lonely shit and this dog shit is taking over me.
18:41
Speaker 1: But now I'm in a ring and I look over
18:43
Speaker 1: my shoulder.
18:43
Speaker 2: I see my son. I look over my should, I
18:44
Speaker 2: see my mother. I see my friends in the crowd
18:47
Speaker 2: telling me the duck. I see my family on the
18:49
Speaker 2: other side telling me to swing jab uppercut. Now I
18:53
Speaker 2: defeated this lonely shit. I'm not lonely no more. I
18:56
Speaker 2: know I got friends, I got family, I got loved
19:00
Speaker 2: I got people that would love to hear my voice
19:03
Speaker 2: early in the morning. I can never be lonely, bro.
19:06
Speaker 2: They won't let me be lonely. They want me to
19:08
Speaker 2: be great, and that's the only thing I am great. Well,
19:11
Speaker 2: me and Wilf texts every day. How can I never
19:14
Speaker 2: be lonely? How can I be lonely? The girls love me?
19:18
Speaker 2: See you know something you like? Oh, blind Poppy? Or
19:22
Speaker 2: how can I be lonely?
19:24
Speaker 1: Noah?
19:25
Speaker 2: I feel like lonely is a phase. I feel like
19:31
Speaker 2: that's lonely is a phase. I feel like something that
19:34
Speaker 2: everybody go through, but I feel like it also can
19:38
Speaker 2: drag on because I feel like you want to be lonely.
19:43
Speaker 1: I feel like sometimes people tell you to come outside.
19:45
Speaker 2: No, I'm gonna just stay in this house, and you're
19:47
Speaker 2: gonna fight the four walls like you're gonna let the
19:51
Speaker 2: four walls take over you.
19:53
Speaker 1: Sometimes you need to come out.
19:55
Speaker 2: Like me, when I'm in a room, I gotta step
19:58
Speaker 2: out the room and step in into a bigger space
20:01
Speaker 2: to clear my mind to think. I feel like when
20:04
Speaker 2: I'm swallowing and closed into a room, I'm lonely. But
20:08
Speaker 2: when I get out, I can hit them birds chirping.
20:10
Speaker 2: I ain't by myself. The birds on my air condition
20:12
Speaker 2: there keeping me company, like I can hear the people
20:15
Speaker 2: downstairs talking.
20:16
Speaker 1: I'm not lonely.
20:18
Speaker 2: My friends even caught me. Oh come on, bro, let's
20:20
Speaker 2: just go out and listen to some music.
20:22
Speaker 1: Let's go out and grab a bite to eat, Let's
20:24
Speaker 1: go do karaoke.
20:25
Speaker 2: Sometimes you need that shit, you need that extra push,
20:29
Speaker 2: so stop dragging out the loneliness. Sometimes come out, sit
20:33
Speaker 2: on the stoops and have some fresh air. Even though
20:37
Speaker 2: they said in New York City, I got fresh year,
20:39
Speaker 2: but still some fresh air, you know. Just look at
20:42
Speaker 2: the kids and look at the kids play and take
20:46
Speaker 2: in the nature of New York City or wherever you at.
20:51
Speaker 2: Just take it in and you'll realize this lonely shit
20:54
Speaker 2: is just it's a mental thing, like being lonely is
20:57
Speaker 2: a mental thing. So people, let's stop running away from
20:59
Speaker 2: the problem and face it. We're not gonna sit there
21:02
Speaker 2: and say and say, Damn, I'm lonely. What can I
21:04
Speaker 2: do if you know you don't go outside the whole week,
21:07
Speaker 2: say to yourself, I'm gonna make this commitment. Let me
21:09
Speaker 2: go outside three times a week. Let me make this commitment.
21:12
Speaker 2: Let me call up somebody tall. Let's go out and
21:14
Speaker 2: grab a bite or eat. Let's go to Caarayok, let's
21:17
Speaker 2: go bowling so you won't feel like you are alone.
21:20
Speaker 1: I feel like.
21:22
Speaker 2: This is a lot because I ain't gonna lie. How
21:26
Speaker 2: did I come out from being lonely? I face the problem.
21:29
Speaker 2: I sat there and said to myself, I'm tired of
21:30
Speaker 2: being lonely. I start calling my brother in law. Yo, bro,
21:34
Speaker 2: Let's go work out, yo bro. Let's go to the
21:37
Speaker 2: bar on the corner, yo, sis, Let's go to the
21:39
Speaker 2: bar on the corner. That's like because not for know,
21:41
Speaker 2: when you're around people and you got that smile just
21:45
Speaker 2: draws on your face, that's the best feeling ever because
21:49
Speaker 2: you know you're not lonely, no more opposed to you
21:51
Speaker 2: in the house you're watching Ratchet TV. Or you're on
21:54
Speaker 2: TikTok laughing by yourself. But at the end of the day,
21:57
Speaker 2: when that video is going, you're back to being lonely.
22:00
Speaker 2: So let's stop running away from our problems. Let's let's
22:04
Speaker 2: love to help that's that's out there that's willing to
22:06
Speaker 2: pull us out these houses. Let's love the help that's
22:09
Speaker 2: willing to go out and and let's let's enjoy the company.
22:13
Speaker 2: I feel like and after that we're gonna wrap it up.
22:18
Speaker 2: But I feel like times is different from when we
22:20
Speaker 2: was growing up. I feel like we had more outside time.
22:24
Speaker 1: Can you relate to that we when red rod on
22:28
Speaker 1: ring around a.
22:29
Speaker 2: Rosie and Duck Duck Goose and tag and how to
22:32
Speaker 2: go see Like we was outside you never had a
22:35
Speaker 2: chance to be lonely. Could you always have friends to
22:37
Speaker 2: run up and down the street with and play scaly
22:39
Speaker 2: and all this basketball? I feel like we lost track
22:43
Speaker 2: of that, even the kids, because we glued to our phones.
22:46
Speaker 2: We feel like we it's okay to be alone when
22:48
Speaker 2: it's not. Sometimes you gotta interact with people. Sometimes you
22:53
Speaker 2: got to come out and experience new things instead of
22:55
Speaker 2: being in the house. Kids in adults, my son stay
22:59
Speaker 2: in the house all day, play the game on his phone.
23:03
Speaker 2: It's like you going outside. It's like you really would
23:06
Speaker 2: you say they really lonely, even though technology is different
23:09
Speaker 2: with FaceTime and all that shit.
23:13
Speaker 4: Man, I don't know if they lonely as much as
23:16
Speaker 4: they are being like understimulated stimulated, and I don't even
23:21
Speaker 4: know if that's the thing people say. But it's like, okay,
23:23
Speaker 4: I you know, we like technology, we like social media
23:27
Speaker 4: and apps, so I get it. But it gotta be
23:29
Speaker 4: more though, Like I also know what it was like
23:31
Speaker 4: to go to my friend's crib all the time, or
23:33
Speaker 4: like first thing on a Saturday, and like you gone, yeah,
23:37
Speaker 4: I'm going to my man's house a sad like what
23:39
Speaker 4: you're doing, Like once you come outside.
23:41
Speaker 2: I'm thinking about it and I just thought about that shit.
23:42
Speaker 2: It's like I used to be bought in the house
23:44
Speaker 2: like young boyd I'm in a room you not nothing
23:47
Speaker 2: to do. But that's when you can finally go outside
23:49
Speaker 2: with your friends. You It's like everything that you waited,
23:53
Speaker 2: Like the whole weekend you couldn't go outside because it's
23:55
Speaker 2: school nights. But on that weekend you've run outside, like
23:58
Speaker 2: you forget about them for the other five days.
24:00
Speaker 4: Or you go to your homies crib and then you
24:02
Speaker 4: knock on the door and the parent let you know, like, oh,
24:04
Speaker 4: they're not gonna be free to such and such.
24:06
Speaker 2: Damn I got to sit here and wait. Then they
24:08
Speaker 2: be like, what's wrong, I'm bored, I'm this, I'm I
24:11
Speaker 2: don't like these kids nowadays, Like they don't go through
24:13
Speaker 2: that that feeling no more. They easy to get just
24:16
Speaker 2: face time and play the game and be on FaceTime.
24:19
Speaker 2: It's like, I feel like I.
24:22
Speaker 1: Feel like we're missing a lot of life.
24:24
Speaker 2: Like people feel like you can't be lonely because you
24:26
Speaker 2: know what your friend doing by looking.
24:27
Speaker 1: At social media.
24:29
Speaker 2: But it's a different feeling when you're there, you could
24:30
Speaker 2: and that joke is being presented while you're there, All
24:34
Speaker 2: that moment is being presented. It's like people don't stand
24:37
Speaker 2: going outside and being with your friends and your loved
24:40
Speaker 2: ones and your family, like history is being created, moments
24:44
Speaker 2: is being created, and then when you go home, you
24:46
Speaker 2: can go to sleep knowing that you're not lonely because
24:48
Speaker 2: now you're the whole time you're laying down in your bag,
24:50
Speaker 2: you're thinking about that that time you were just outside. Damn,
24:53
Speaker 2: such such as a fool? Such such made me laugh?
24:56
Speaker 2: So such did this is that? So it's like you
24:59
Speaker 2: feel me.
24:59
Speaker 1: I feel like we need to as people, we need
25:00
Speaker 1: to get out more.
25:02
Speaker 2: I feel like that it helps your mental health too,
25:06
Speaker 2: like to interact with more people and everything else. So
25:09
Speaker 2: you know, people like cut the bullshit, call your friend up. Hey, friend,
25:16
Speaker 2: what you're doing. Let's go to karaoke, Let's go bowling,
25:19
Speaker 2: Let's go out for a drink, Let's go out for
25:21
Speaker 2: a bite.
25:21
Speaker 1: They eat, fuck it, Let's just go sit.
25:23
Speaker 2: In the park like you don't got to be alone.
25:29
Speaker 2: And damn, I'm about to start singing you and not alone,
25:36
Speaker 2: I am here with you. That shit made me think
25:40
Speaker 2: thinking about this episode. That's I'm like, Damn, I got
25:42
Speaker 2: Michael Jackson words going through my head. Even when you
25:45
Speaker 2: fall away like that, it's like, damn, you're not alone.
25:48
Speaker 2: So the only way you alone if you make yourself alone,
25:50
Speaker 2: make yourself available, and spread the love.
25:53
Speaker 1: Man.
25:53
Speaker 2: People need your presence, you need people presents, People need
25:56
Speaker 2: your love. You need people love, and be gonna move
25:59
Speaker 2: like that and blame Wolf if you hone me, you lonely.
26:02
Speaker 2: You don't got nobody else because with know how to
26:03
Speaker 2: make these episodes fuck me up and fuck anybody else up.
26:08
Speaker 2: But another episode of the Blinding I podcast. It's FOBC
26:14
Speaker 2: no the hood, Ray Charles, the official Blonde stepp Or,
26:17
Speaker 2: the Voice of the Sables, the voice of the people,
26:20
Speaker 2: And I ain't gonna stop step until I stepped big.
26:22
Speaker 2: Don't forget to like subscribe to comment. Tell me about
26:27
Speaker 2: your lonely moments? Are you still lonely? Do you need
26:30
Speaker 2: a friend? You might not get my number, but you
26:31
Speaker 2: could get my Instagram.
26:36
Speaker 1: Yeah, we definitely need those