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621. Saying No Without The Fear Of Missing Out · Be It Till You See It

• 0:00
  [SPEAKER_01]: It's fuck ya Friday!
• 0:01
  [SPEAKER_01]: Fuck you!
• 0:03
  [SPEAKER_01]: Get ready for some wins!
• 0:28
  [SPEAKER_01]: and it's the antidote to fear.
• 0:31
  [SPEAKER_01]: Each week my guests will bring bold, executable, intrinsic, and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and be it until you see it.
• 0:40
  [SPEAKER_01]: It's a practice, not a perfect, let's get started.
• 0:48
  [SPEAKER_01]: Hi, BeatBabe.
• 0:50
  [SPEAKER_01]: Well, it's the last bucket Friday of 2025.
• 0:54
  [SPEAKER_01]: It's not the last, if I get Friday, we're gonna keep it going.
• 0:57
  [SPEAKER_01]: It's gonna keep evolving just like this podcast is and has been and oh my God, can't believe it.
• 1:02
  [SPEAKER_01]: You know, we started the podcast in the middle of a year, so it's like, I don't even know how many years and we're at, we are, but I was talking with my best friend about,
• 1:11
  [SPEAKER_01]: Guess I want to have on and ways I want to take this podcast and I've been on tour been really percolating like what are the themes or the topics where do we want to go I want to be it till we see it because it is a new year and we have changed and we've been being it some of you've been being it till we see it for years with me which means that we have a new version of being it till we see it going on like we have this other step that we're in
• 1:32
  [SPEAKER_01]: And so I want to hear from you.
• 1:33
  [SPEAKER_01]: I want to hear the topics.
• 1:34
  [SPEAKER_01]: You want to know more about things that make you curious.
• 1:38
  [SPEAKER_01]: There's areas that you want to be at tell you see, but you need experts in that.
• 1:41
  [SPEAKER_01]: I want to know, second bring them on because this podcast is also helping you to be at tell you see it.
• 1:45
  [SPEAKER_01]: Podcast is truly helped me be at tell I see it and also required me to do it.
• 1:51
  [SPEAKER_01]: to almost have to be at TICIP because I have to come on here and tell you what I'm doing and evolve as well.
• 1:57
  [SPEAKER_01]: And it's really, really forced me to like step into it, not just think about being at TICIP, but actually be it until I see it.
• 2:06
  [SPEAKER_01]: So.
• 2:06
  [SPEAKER_01]: If you're new here, hi, it's a short episode.
• 2:09
  [SPEAKER_01]: Listen to our long episodes.
• 2:10
  [SPEAKER_01]: Usually on Tuesdays and Thursdays, this month we are doing a habit series because I really, it's really important to me that you have this, these tools and the ways to make habits that actually stick something you can listen to it again and again and again.
• 2:23
  [SPEAKER_01]: So you're not just like, what was that episode?
• 2:24
  [SPEAKER_01]: And turn it back and listen at one bit about it.
• 2:26
  [SPEAKER_01]: You have a whole little series about it.
• 2:28
  [SPEAKER_01]: So that series is wrapping up.
• 2:30
  [SPEAKER_01]: We'll go back to our interviews and we have a couple other series coming out and if you have a series topic she want my opinion on I want to share it with you All right, so something that inspired me on the internet.
• 2:38
  [SPEAKER_01]: I'm really excited about this one We've had Jill fit on the podcast.
• 2:41
  [SPEAKER_01]: She was on an episode with Danny Jay and she posted something a while back in fact as I look at the date It's almost been a year, but I really like it And I think it's a great way to end the year thing that's inspiring.
• 2:54
  [SPEAKER_01]: So take what people say at face value
• 2:58
  [SPEAKER_01]: because trying to uncover hidden meanings and ulterior motives or trying to decipher passive aggressive behavior is a huge waste of time.
• 3:08
  [SPEAKER_01]: Trust that grown-ass people will come to you if they have an issue, if they don't, keep living your life.
• 3:13
  [SPEAKER_01]: One of my practices over the last several years is assuming I'm on good terms with everyone and less than I'm presented with a conversation that tells me otherwise.
• 3:21
  [SPEAKER_01]: Anything else is just fucking misery.
• 3:23
  [SPEAKER_01]: And I'm really, I'm kind of obsessed with this, right?
• 3:27
  [SPEAKER_01]: I am someone who, if I accidentally offend somebody, right?
• 3:32
  [SPEAKER_01]: And that's so easy to do these days, by the way, like, oh my god.
• 3:35
  [SPEAKER_01]: I posted something
• 3:37
  [SPEAKER_01]: that I did stop was fun.
• 3:39
  [SPEAKER_01]: I didn't actually think of it as a like from the perspective of somebody who might have been having to do this.
• 3:47
  [SPEAKER_01]: I was thinking it more like as just an observation of like, wow, look at how plies is everywhere.
• 3:54
  [SPEAKER_01]: And most people are like, that's really cool.
• 3:56
  [SPEAKER_01]: Oh my god.
• 3:56
  [SPEAKER_01]: And then like playing the game of what plies they see in the movement.
• 4:00
  [SPEAKER_01]: And it hurt
• 4:06
  [SPEAKER_01]: I kind of like was like, oh, like I didn't like how did she take it that way that was clearly on my intention.
• 4:11
  [SPEAKER_01]: Then it like plagued my mind because I really don't like hurting anyone's feelings.
• 4:16
  [SPEAKER_01]: I would I don't hurt anyone's feelings and purpose.
• 4:19
  [SPEAKER_01]: And so if I ever hurt yours, it is very unintentionally.
• 4:21
  [SPEAKER_01]: And so I sat there for a second and I was like, hold on.
• 4:26
  [SPEAKER_01]: You know, like, what's real here?
• 4:28
  [SPEAKER_01]: you know what what am I what was my intention of what was the impact and I accepted responsibility for the impact that happened that was not my intention and I addressed what the intention was and I think them for coming to me and I was able to let it go just not the win.
• 4:42
  [SPEAKER_01]: I'll have another one for you guys later on.
• 4:44
  [SPEAKER_01]: But I love this because
• 4:45
  [SPEAKER_01]: that person did come to me.
• 4:47
  [SPEAKER_01]: But a lot of people, you know, don't, and sometimes like, oh, they haven't texted back.
• 4:50
  [SPEAKER_01]: Like, did I hurt their feelings?
• 4:52
  [SPEAKER_01]: And we start to tell ourselves the story.
• 4:53
  [SPEAKER_01]: And I love this still fit.
• 4:55
  [SPEAKER_01]: Like, it's like, just a assume, just like, move, like, not even assume, because that's a terrible word.
• 4:59
  [SPEAKER_01]: Just live in the world that, like, if anyone has an issue with you, they're going to come tell you because they're grown as person.
• 5:05
  [SPEAKER_01]: And if they are not going to tell you, they're not a grown-up person, and dealing with their passive aggressiveness and trying to figure that out is fucking misery.
• 5:11
  [SPEAKER_01]: Thank you, Jill Fett, for giving us a phrase for that.
• 5:13
  [SPEAKER_01]: So anyways, if you want to read that, it's in the show notes, the link to that thing.
• 5:17
  [SPEAKER_01]: And I just love, love, love it.
• 5:20
  [SPEAKER_01]: Okay.
• 5:21
  [SPEAKER_01]: Now, let's bring up one of your wins.
• 5:23
  [SPEAKER_01]: This is a good one.
• 5:24
  [SPEAKER_01]: So Christine Ashen, she has been an agency member for years and she did elevate with us several years ago.
• 5:31
  [SPEAKER_01]: And I just love her and she's so sweet and her lavender farm's amazing.
• 5:35
  [SPEAKER_01]: And then she said, how did teacher for balanced body or recent?
• 5:39
  [SPEAKER_01]: randomly reached out to me for a private.
• 5:41
  [SPEAKER_01]: She lives in the San Francisco area, but has also as a home up near me.
• 5:45
  [SPEAKER_01]: At first I thought I'd be nervous at teacher, but then I thought about my comprehensive and my elevate mentorship with, with Leslie.
• 5:51
  [SPEAKER_01]: So I did a little, you are the only person who can do what you do before she showed up and just taught the body in front of me.
• 5:58
  [SPEAKER_01]: She loved the sessions that she would be back the next time she came to the area.
• 6:01
  [SPEAKER_01]: Thank you LL for your support in this community.
• 6:04
  [SPEAKER_01]: Christine, thank you, but also like, girl, you're the one that did it.
• 6:09
  [SPEAKER_01]: You know what I did it?
• 6:11
  [SPEAKER_01]: You know, like, yes, you were in my mentorship program.
• 6:14
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yes, I have been saying you are the only person to do what you do the way that you do it for years, but you apply to it, you be to tell you see it.
• 6:21
  [SPEAKER_01]: I don't think that's a word, but I'm making one.
• 6:24
  [SPEAKER_01]: And, and thank you for celebrating it with us because it means the world to us.
• 6:28
  [SPEAKER_01]: And I think you just inspired a bunch of people.
• 6:30
  [SPEAKER_01]: All right, my win.
• 6:31
  [SPEAKER_01]: So as we come to it end of this year, like what I'm thinking about, you know, at the beginning of the year, I was like, what's your word?
• 6:39
  [SPEAKER_01]: What's your word?
• 6:40
  [SPEAKER_01]: And I really was like, I like my, I just want space.
• 6:47
  [SPEAKER_01]: I want, I want ease.
• 6:49
  [SPEAKER_01]: I want ease.
• 6:50
  [SPEAKER_01]: And
• 6:51
  [SPEAKER_01]: Every single month and quarter, I just kept asking myself, okay, how can I have more ease in this project?
• 6:57
  [SPEAKER_01]: How can I do more of this?
• 6:58
  [SPEAKER_01]: Okay, that didn't feel useful.
• 6:59
  [SPEAKER_01]: So what can we do for the next time?
• 7:00
  [SPEAKER_01]: Just a lot of, I should have made the word for this year of reflection, because it was a lot of reflection.
• 7:06
  [SPEAKER_01]: And as I wrap this year up and we're on tour and we're a month from my 43rd birthday, there's so many things to celebrate.
• 7:12
  [SPEAKER_01]: We've had one of the best years we've ever had.
• 7:14
  [SPEAKER_01]: We continue to grow.
• 7:15
  [SPEAKER_01]: We have made, in doing that, we have made major changes to our businesses to make sure that we support the people around us without burning ourselves out.
• 7:24
  [SPEAKER_01]: And, you know, it's been a hard year.
• 7:26
  [SPEAKER_01]: It's also been a crappy year.
• 7:28
  [SPEAKER_01]: It's also been like a really mentally taxing, oh my god.
• 7:33
  [SPEAKER_01]: Like, the fear I have every single day for the people who have lessen me all the time.
• 7:37
  [SPEAKER_01]: It's really hard.
• 7:38
  [SPEAKER_01]: Like, I really fear every day and then I have to just show up and be it to I see it because I can't fix that.
• 7:45
  [SPEAKER_01]: I definitely can't have fix that without money and without time, right?
• 7:49
  [SPEAKER_01]: Like, so I have to do the things that I do here by the people I care about inspire people every single day.
• 7:54
  [SPEAKER_01]: So that I can
• 7:56
  [SPEAKER_01]: fight for the rights of others.
• 7:57
  [SPEAKER_01]: You know, so it's been it's hard.
• 7:59
  [SPEAKER_01]: And if you are not along with me, it's been a hard year.
• 8:02
  [SPEAKER_01]: If you're an empathetic person, it's been a hard year.
• 8:05
  [SPEAKER_01]: But also, as a empathetic person, I am looking back at this year and just really proud of myself.
• 8:10
  [SPEAKER_01]: And one of the things that I'm excited to share with you is a win-as-this.
• 8:15
  [SPEAKER_01]: I am someone who has suffered from phoma my whole life.
• 8:19
  [SPEAKER_01]: I've always never really felt like I belong so I have this fear of like I didn't get invited to that thing.
• 8:24
  [SPEAKER_01]: You know, I just had Phoma when I get invited to a lunch group or birthday party or blah blah blah and like didn't get invited to a dance.
• 8:31
  [SPEAKER_01]: Like just Phoma Phoma Phoma which just created this person who like overdid overshadowed up over said yes.
• 8:38
  [SPEAKER_01]: And when the pandemic happened, we had this huge pause in our life, right?
• 8:43
  [SPEAKER_01]: And it really let me see, like, whoa, I was going, like, there was just, I was chewing too much.
• 8:48
  [SPEAKER_01]: And I was really grateful.
• 8:50
  [SPEAKER_01]: And then I, like, thought, I found, then there was, like, the pendulum of song where I was not doing too much, but I was traveling a lot less, so I could be really focused.
• 8:58
  [SPEAKER_01]: And now the travel is picked up.
• 9:00
  [SPEAKER_01]: And a few months ago,
• 9:03
  [SPEAKER_01]: without fear.
• 9:04
  [SPEAKER_01]: I was able to say to my team, I want to travel us.
• 9:08
  [SPEAKER_01]: I want to say yes to less events that are not ours.
• 9:13
  [SPEAKER_01]: And I was able to say that without fear of missing out, that fear, like, oh my God, if I start saying no to these invites, am I going to have less of a space on this earth, right?
• 9:28
  [SPEAKER_01]: And I hope that this one gives you some inspiration as well,
• 9:33
  [SPEAKER_01]: What are you going to use as a tool for doing a temp check on whether you should say S or no.
• 9:40
  [SPEAKER_01]: So we created one after I did that so that we can evaluate why there's something as a fuck S or no, right?
• 9:48
  [SPEAKER_01]: And it's not just monetary.
• 9:49
  [SPEAKER_01]: It's a lot of things.
• 9:51
  [SPEAKER_01]: And so after coming to that decision and then like the win of not going to
• 9:58
  [SPEAKER_01]: Oh my God, I'm gonna let people down.
• 10:00
  [SPEAKER_01]: Like I didn't have that.
• 10:02
  [SPEAKER_01]: Like I just feel like I've really found the beat and it gained comfortable in what I can do but I do really well and what I'm willing to do.
• 10:13
  [SPEAKER_01]: And that's huge.
• 10:15
  [SPEAKER_01]: And I can change my mind if I want to, but I am really, really proud that for the next couple of years, we are going to say yes to less stuff.
• 10:23
  [SPEAKER_01]: And we already closed next year's calendar.
• 10:26
  [SPEAKER_01]: And we are only accepting a couple things for 2027.
• 10:29
  [SPEAKER_01]: And something else that of course I would love to do.
• 10:32
  [SPEAKER_01]: We're not doing
• 10:38
  [SPEAKER_01]: There's too many things to want to do and to do them well, there needs to be space.
• 10:43
  [SPEAKER_01]: And I know that from my year of reflection.
• 10:45
  [SPEAKER_01]: So if you are gonna have a word of the year for 2026, then it into theapod.com slash questions.
• 10:52
  [SPEAKER_01]: I'd love to hear what it is.
• 10:53
  [SPEAKER_01]: I'm someone who takes a long time.
• 10:55
  [SPEAKER_01]: I think I'm better.
• 10:55
  [SPEAKER_01]: I like discovering the theme of the year of the end of the year.
• 10:58
  [SPEAKER_01]: But,
• 11:00
  [SPEAKER_01]: I also really implore you.
• 11:04
  [SPEAKER_01]: Is that the right word?
• 11:05
  [SPEAKER_01]: Pour you to take some time to reflect on this year what you liked, what you didn't like, what worked and what didn't work.
• 11:14
  [SPEAKER_01]: And just because it didn't work doesn't mean you don't get to do it again or you don't get to take another stab at it.
• 11:18
  [SPEAKER_01]: But if something isn't working and you don't like it,
• 11:22
  [SPEAKER_01]: What are the ways that you can use the habits that we've been talking about, the habits, the habits, and the challenge, but course, series to help yourself unravel those things and create what you do want to have?
• 11:35
  [SPEAKER_01]: That's what I want you to percolate on.
• 11:37
  [SPEAKER_01]: And your affirmation, I love this one.
• 11:43
  [SPEAKER_01]: I saw this a long time ago and I saved it for you.
• 11:47
  [SPEAKER_01]: You are not behind, you are on your own timeline and it's perfect.
• 11:54
  [SPEAKER_01]: You are not behind, you are on your own timeline and it's perfect.
• 11:59
  [SPEAKER_01]: You can't think of another bad, better affirmation for the last Friday of this year than you are not behind, you are on your own timeline and it's perfect.
• 12:07
  [SPEAKER_01]: All right, baby, you are the frickin' best.
• 12:09
  [SPEAKER_01]: Thank you for celebrating another year with me.
• 12:12
  [SPEAKER_01]: You're amazing and you know to do until next time.
• 12:16
  [SPEAKER_01]: That's all I got for this episode of the Beat Tell You See at Podcasts.
• 12:20
  [SPEAKER_01]: One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review.
• 12:25
  [SPEAKER_01]: And follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcasts.
• 12:28
  [SPEAKER_01]: Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Beat Pot on Instagram.
• 12:33
  [SPEAKER_01]: I would love to know more about you.
• 12:34
  [SPEAKER_01]: Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it.
• 12:37
  [SPEAKER_01]: Help us and others Beat Tell You See it.
• 12:40
  [SPEAKER_01]: Have an awesome day.
• 12:43
  [SPEAKER_01]: Be it till you see it is a production of the blue pod cast network.
• 12:47
  [SPEAKER_01]: If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at plus one three one oh nine oh five five three four or send a DM on Instagram at be it pod.
• 12:59
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Leslie Logan, and me, Brad Crowell.
• 13:04
  [SPEAKER_01]: It is transcribed, produced, and edited by the epic team at disenio.co.
• 13:08
  [SPEAKER_00]: Our theme music is by L.E.
• 13:10
  [SPEAKER_00]: at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist John Franco Chilfe.
• 13:15
  [SPEAKER_01]: Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals.
• 13:18
  [SPEAKER_00]: Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website.
• 13:23
  [SPEAKER_00]: And finally, the Meredith route for keeping us all on point and on time.