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002 - Something to Worry About · Selected Short Stories

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Speaker 1: Chapter two of the Man Upstairs. This is a LibriVox recording.
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Speaker 1: All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more
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Speaker 1: information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox dot org. Recording
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Speaker 1: by Mike Harris, The Man Upstairs by P. G. Woodhouse,
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Speaker 1: Story number two, Something to Worry About. A girl stood
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Speaker 1: on the shingle that fringes Millbourne Bay, gazing at the
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Speaker 1: red rufse of the little village across the water. She
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Speaker 1: was a pretty girl, small and trim. Just now some
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Speaker 1: secret sorrow seemed to be troubling her, for on her
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Speaker 1: forehead were wrinkles, and in her eyes a look of wistfulness.
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Speaker 1: She had, in fact, all the distinguishing marks of one
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Speaker 1: who was thinking of her sailor lover. But she was not.
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Speaker 1: She had no sailor lover. What she was thinking of
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Speaker 1: was that at about this time, they'd be lighting up
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Speaker 1: the shop windows in London, and that of all the deadly,
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Speaker 1: depressing spots she had ever visited, this village of Melbourne
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Speaker 1: was the deadliest. The evening shadows deepened, the incoming time
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Speaker 1: glistened oilily as it rolled over the mud flats. She
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Speaker 1: rose and shivered. Good, what a owl, she said, eyeing
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Speaker 1: the unconscious village morosely. What a hole. This was Sally
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Speaker 1: Preston's first evening in Millbourn. She arrived by the afternoon
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Speaker 1: train from London, not of her own free will. Left
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Speaker 1: to herself, she would not have come within sixty miles
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Speaker 1: of the place. London supplied all that she demanded from life.
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Speaker 1: She'd been born in London, she'd lived there ever since.
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Speaker 1: She hoped to die there. She liked fogs, motor buses, noise, policemen,
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Speaker 1: paper boys, shops, taxicabs, artificial light, stone pavements, houses in
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Speaker 1: long gray rows, mud, banana skins, and moving picture exhibitions,
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Speaker 1: especially moving picture exhibitions. It was indeed her taste for
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Speaker 1: these that had caused her banishment to Milbourne. The great
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Speaker 1: public is not yet unanim us on the subject of
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Speaker 1: moving picture exhibitions. Sallie, as I have said, approved of them.
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Speaker 1: Her father, on the other hand, did not an austere
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Speaker 1: ex butler who let lodgings in Ewbury Street and preached
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Speaker 1: on Sundays in Hyde Park. He looked askance at the movies.
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Speaker 1: It was his boast that he had never been inside
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Speaker 1: a theater in his life, and he classed cinema palaces
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Speaker 1: with theaters as wilds of the devil. Sallie, suddenly unmasked
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Speaker 1: as an habitual frequenter of these abandoned places, sprang with
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Speaker 1: one bound into prominence as the bad girl of the family.
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Speaker 1: Instant removal from the range of temptation being the only
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Speaker 1: possible plan, it seemed to mister Preston that a trip
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Speaker 1: to the country was indicated. He selected Melbourne because he
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Speaker 1: had been butler at the hall there, and because his
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Speaker 1: sister Jane, who had been a parlor maid at the rectory,
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Speaker 1: was now married and living in the village. Certainly he
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Speaker 1: could not have chosen a more promising reformatory for Sallie here.
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Speaker 1: If any one might she forget the heady joys of
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Speaker 1: the cinema. Tucked away in the corner of its little bay,
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Speaker 1: which an accommodating island converts into a still lagoon, Milbourne
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Speaker 1: lies dozing in all sleepy Hampshire. There is no sleepier spot.
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Speaker 1: It's a place of calm eyed men and drowsy dogs.
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Speaker 1: Things crumble away in are out replaced. Tradesmen book orders
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Speaker 1: and then lose interest and forget to deliver the goods.
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Speaker 1: Only centurions die and nobody worries about anything, or it
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Speaker 1: did not until Sally came and gave them something to
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Speaker 1: worry about. Next Door to Sallie's aunt Jane, in a
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Speaker 1: cozy little cottage with a wonderful little garden, lived Thomas Kitchener,
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Speaker 1: a large, grave, self sufficing young man who, by sheer
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Speaker 1: application to work, had become already, though only twenty five,
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Speaker 1: second gardener at the Hall, gardening absorbed him. When he
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Speaker 1: was not working at the Hall, he was working at home.
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Speaker 1: On the morning following Sallie's arrival, at being a Thursday,
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Speaker 1: in his day off, he was crouching in a constrained
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Speaker 1: attitude in his garden, every fiber of his being concentrated
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Speaker 1: on the interment of a plump, young bulb. Consequently, when
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Speaker 1: a chunk of mud came sailing over the fence, he
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Speaker 1: did not notice it. A second however, compelled attention by
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Speaker 1: bursting like a shell on the back of his neck.
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Speaker 1: He looked up, startled, and nobody was in sight. He
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Speaker 1: was puzzled. It could hardly be raining mud. Yet the
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Speaker 1: alternative theory that someone in the next garden was throwing
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Speaker 1: it was hardly less bizarre. The nature of his friendship
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Speaker 1: with Sally's aunt Jane and old mister Williams, her husband
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Speaker 1: was comfortable rather than rollicking. It was inconceivable that they
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Speaker 1: should be flinging clods at him as he stood wondering
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Speaker 1: whether he should go to the fence and look over
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Speaker 1: or simply accept the phenomenon as one of those things
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Speaker 1: which no fellow could understand. There popped up before him
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Speaker 1: the head and shoulders of a girl. Poised in her
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Speaker 1: right hand was a third clod, which, seeing that there
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Speaker 1: was now no need for his services, she allowed to
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Speaker 1: fall to the ground. Hello, she said, good morning. She
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Speaker 1: was a pretty girl, small and trim. Tom was by
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Speaker 1: way of being the strong, silent man with a career
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Speaker 1: to think up and no time for bothering about girls.
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Speaker 1: But he did see that there was moreover, a certain
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Speaker 1: alertness in her expression, rarely found in the feminine population
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Speaker 1: of Milburn, who were apt to be slightly bovine. What
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Speaker 1: do you think you're missin' about? At? She said affably.
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Speaker 1: Tom was a slow minded young man who liked to
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Speaker 1: have his thoughts well under control before he spoke. He
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Speaker 1: was not one of your gay rattlers. Besides, there was
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Speaker 1: something about this girl which confused him to an extraordinary extent.
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Speaker 1: He was conscious of new and strange emotions. He stood
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Speaker 1: staring silently. What's your name anyway? Gud answer that he
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Speaker 1: did so? Oh mind Sally Preston, missus Williams is my aunt.
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Speaker 1: I've come from London. Tom had no remarks to make
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Speaker 1: about London. Have you lived here all your life? Yes,
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Speaker 1: said Tom. My goodness, don't you ever feel fed up?
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Speaker 1: Don't you want to change? Tom considered the point. No,
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Speaker 1: He said, well I do I want one? Now? It's
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Speaker 1: a nice place, hazarded Tom. It's nothing of the sort.
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Speaker 1: It's the beastliest hold in existence. It's absolutely chronic. Perhaps
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Speaker 1: you wonder why I'm here? Don't think I wanted to
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Speaker 1: come here? Not me, I was sent it was like this.
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Speaker 1: She gave him a rapid summary of her troubles there.
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Speaker 1: Don't you call it a bit thick? She concluded. Tom
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Speaker 1: considered this point too. You must make the best of it,
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Speaker 1: he said, at length, I won't. I'll make father take
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Speaker 1: me back. Tom considered this point also. Rarely, if ever,
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Speaker 1: had he been given so many things to think about
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Speaker 1: him one morning? How he inquired at length, Oh I
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Speaker 1: don't know. I'll find somewhere, you see. If I don't,
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Speaker 1: I'll get away from here jolly quick. I give you
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Speaker 1: my word. Tom bent low over a row rose bush.
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Speaker 1: His face was hidden, but the brown of his neck
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Speaker 1: seemed to take on a richer hue, and his ears
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Speaker 1: were undeniably crimson. His feet moved restlessly, and from his
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Speaker 1: unseen mouth there preceded the first gallant speech his lips
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Speaker 1: had ever framed. Merely considered as a speech, it was
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Speaker 1: perhaps nothing wonderful, but from Tom it was a miracle
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Speaker 1: of chivalry and polish. What he said was I hope not,
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Speaker 1: and instinct telling him that he had made his supreme
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Speaker 1: effort and that anything further must be bathos. He turned
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Speaker 1: abruptly and stalked into his cottage, where he drank tea
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Speaker 1: and ate bacon and thought chaotic thoughts. And when his
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Speaker 1: appetite declined to carry him more than half way through
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Speaker 1: the third rasher, he understood he was in love. These strong,
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Speaker 1: silent men who mean to be had gardeners before they
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Speaker 1: are thirty, and eliminate woman from their lives as a
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Speaker 1: dangerous obstacle to the successful career, a heavy penalty when
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Speaker 1: they do fall in love the average irresponsible young man
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Speaker 1: who has hung about North Street on Saturday nights, walked
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Speaker 1: through the meadows and round by the mill and back home,
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Speaker 1: passed the creek on Sunday afternoons, taking his seat in
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Speaker 1: the break for the annual outing, shuffled his way through
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Speaker 1: the polka at the Tradesman's Ball, and generally seized all
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Speaker 1: legitimate opportunities for sporting with Amarillis in the shade as
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Speaker 1: a hundred advantages which your successful career lacks. There was
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Speaker 1: hardly a moment during the days which followed when Tom
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Speaker 1: did not regret his neglected education, for he was not
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Speaker 1: Sally's only victim. In Melbourne. There was the trouble. Her
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Speaker 1: beauty was not of that elusive type which steals imperceptibly
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Speaker 1: into the vision of the rare connoisseur. It was sudden
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Speaker 1: and compelling. It hit you. Bright brown eyes beneath a
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Speaker 1: mass of fair hair, a determined little chin, a slim figure.
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Speaker 1: These are disturbing things, and the youths of peaceful Milbourn
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Speaker 1: sat up and took notice. As one youth. Throw your
8:56
Speaker 1: mind back to the last musical comedy you saw, recall
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Speaker 1: the leading ladies song with chorus of young men, all
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Speaker 1: proffering devotion simultaneously in a neat row. Well. That was
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Speaker 1: how the lads of the village comported themselves towards Sally.
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Speaker 1: Mister and missus Williams, till then a highly esteemed but
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Speaker 1: little frequented couple were astonished at the sudden influx of visitors.
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Speaker 1: The cottage became practically a salon. There was not an
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Speaker 1: evening when the little sitting room looking out on the
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Speaker 1: garden was not packed. It's true that the conversation lacked
9:28
Speaker 1: some of the sparkle generally found in the better class
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Speaker 1: of salon. To be absolutely accurate, there was hardly any
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Speaker 1: conversation at all. The youths of Melbourne were sturdy and honest.
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Speaker 1: They were the backbone of England. England, in her hour
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Speaker 1: of need, could have called upon them with the comfortable
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Speaker 1: certainty that unless they happened to be otherwise engaged, they
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Speaker 1: would leap to her aid. But they did not shine
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Speaker 1: at small talk. Conversationally, they were a spent force. After
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Speaker 1: they had asked mister Williams how his rheumatism was. Thereafter
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Speaker 1: they contented themselves with sitting massively about in corners, glowering
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Speaker 1: at each other. Still, it was all very jolly and
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Speaker 1: sociable and helped to pass the long evenings. And as
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Speaker 1: Missus Williams pointed out in reply to some rather strong
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Speaker 1: remarks from mister Williams on the subject of packs of
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Speaker 1: young fools who made it impossible for a man to
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Speaker 1: get a quiet smoke in his own home, it kept
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Speaker 1: them out of the public houses. Tom Kitchener meanwhile, observed
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Speaker 1: the invasion with growing dismay. Shyness barred him from the
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Speaker 1: evening gatherings. And what was going on in that house
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Speaker 1: with young bloods like Ted Pringle, Albert Parsons, Arthur Brown
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Speaker 1: and Joe Blossom, to name just four of the most
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Speaker 1: assiduous exercising their fascinations at close range, He did not
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Speaker 1: like to think. Again and again he strove to brace
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Speaker 1: himself up to join the feasts of reason and flows
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Speaker 1: of soul, which he knew were taking place nightly around
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Speaker 1: the object of his devotions. But every time he failed.
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Speaker 1: Habit is a terrible thing. It shackles the strongest, and
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Speaker 1: Tom had fallen into the habit of inquiring. After mister
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Speaker 1: William's rheumatism over the garden fence first thing in the morning.
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Speaker 1: It was a civil, neighborly thing to do, but it
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Speaker 1: annihilated the only excuse he could think of for looking
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Speaker 1: in at night. He could not help himself. It was
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Speaker 1: like some frightful scourge, the mor fiene habit, or something
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Speaker 1: of that sort. Every morning he swore to himself that
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Speaker 1: nothing would induce him to mention the subject of rheumatism.
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Speaker 1: But no sooner had the stricken old gentleman's head appeared
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Speaker 1: above the fence than out it came morning, mister Williams.
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Speaker 1: Morning Tom, pause, indicative of a strong man struggling with himself.
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Speaker 1: Then how's the rheumatism, mister Williams better? Thank e Tom.
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Speaker 1: And there he was, with his guns spiked. However, he
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Speaker 1: did not give up. He brought to his wooing the
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Speaker 1: same determination which had made him second gardener at the
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Speaker 1: hall at twenty five. He was a novice at the game,
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Speaker 1: but instinct told him that a good line of action
11:57
Speaker 1: was to shower gifts. He did so. All he had
12:00
Speaker 1: to shower was vegetables, and he showered them in a
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Speaker 1: way that would have caused the Goddess Ceres to be
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Speaker 1: talked about his garden became a perfect crater irrupting vegetables.
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Speaker 1: Why vegetables, I think I heard some heckler cry, why
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Speaker 1: not flowers, fresh, fair, fragrant flowers. You can do a
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Speaker 1: lot with flowers. Girls love them. There is poetry in them.
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Speaker 1: And once more, there is a recognized language of flowers.
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Speaker 1: Shoot in a rose or a calceolaria, or an herbaceous
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Speaker 1: border or something I gathered, and you made a formal
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Speaker 1: proposal of marriage without any of the trouble of rehearsing
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Speaker 1: a long speech and practicing appropriate gestures in front of
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Speaker 1: your bedroom looking glass, Why then did not Thomas Kitchener
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Speaker 1: give Sally Preston flowers? Well, you see, unfortunately it was
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Speaker 1: now late autumn, and there were no flowers. Nature had
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Speaker 1: temporarily exhausted her floral blessings and was jogging along with
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Speaker 1: potatoes and artichokes and things. Love is like that, It
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Speaker 1: invariably comes just at the wrong time. A few months before,
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Speaker 1: there had been enough roses in Tom kitchen His garden
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Speaker 1: to win the hearts of a dozen girls. Now there
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Speaker 1: were only vegetables. Ah Twas Ever, thus it was not
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Speaker 1: to be expected that a devotion so practically displayed should
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Speaker 1: escape notice nor should it escape comment? This was supplied
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Speaker 1: by that shrewd observer, old mister Williams. He spoke seriously
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Speaker 1: to Tom across the fence on the subject of his passion,
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Speaker 1: Young Tom, he said, drop it. Tom muttered unintelligibly. Mister
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Speaker 1: Williams adjusted the top hat, without which he never stirred abroad,
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Speaker 1: even into his garden. He blinked benevolently at Tom, You'm
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Speaker 1: come up to that young gal at Jins. He proceeded.
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Speaker 1: You can't to save money, all these taties and what not.
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Speaker 1: I seen your game fast enough. Just you drop it,
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Speaker 1: young Tom, Why, muttered Tom rebelliously. A sudden distaste for
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Speaker 1: old mister Williams blazed within him. Why cause you'll only
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Speaker 1: burn your fingers if you doubt. That's why I've been
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Speaker 1: watching this young Gali Jans, and I've seen what sort
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Speaker 1: of a young gal she be. She's a flippery piece,
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Speaker 1: that's what she be. You marry that young gal, Tom,
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Speaker 1: and you'll never have no more quieter happiness. She just
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Speaker 1: take and turned the place up. See down on ye.
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Speaker 1: The man as marry as that young girl has got
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Speaker 1: to be master in his own home he's got to
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Speaker 1: show her what's what now. Ye ain't got the devil
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Speaker 1: in yo to do that. Tom. You're what I might
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Speaker 1: call a sort of a sheep. I admires it in you, Tom.
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Speaker 1: I like to see a young man steady and quiet,
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Speaker 1: same as what you be. So that's how it is,
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Speaker 1: you see. Just you'll drop this foolishness, young Tom, and
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Speaker 1: leave that young galby else you'll burn your fingers same
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Speaker 1: as what I say. In giving his top hat a
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Speaker 1: rakish tilt, the old gentleman ambled indoors, satisfied that he
14:50
Speaker 1: had dropped a guarded into a pleasant and tactful manner.
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Speaker 1: It's to be supposed that this interview stung Tom to
14:57
Speaker 1: swift action. Otherwise, one cannot explain why he should not
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Speaker 1: have been just as reticent on the subject nearest his
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Speaker 1: heart when bestowing on Sally the twenty seventh cabbage as
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Speaker 1: he had been when he administered the hundred and sixtieth potato.
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Speaker 1: At any rate, the fact remains that, as that fateful
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Speaker 1: vegetable changed hands across the fence, something resembling a proposal
15:18
Speaker 1: of marriage did actually proceed from him as a sustained
15:22
Speaker 1: piece of emotional prose, it fell short of the highest standing.
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Speaker 1: Most of it was lost at the back of his throat,
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Speaker 1: and what did emerge was mainly inaudible. However, as she
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Speaker 1: distinctly caught the word love twice, and as Tom was
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Speaker 1: shuffling his feet and streaming with perspiration and looking everywhere,
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Speaker 1: at once accepted her. Salih grasped the situation, whereupon, without
15:44
Speaker 1: any visible emotion, she accepted him. Tom had to ask
15:49
Speaker 1: her to repeat her remark. He could not believe his luck.
15:52
Speaker 1: It was singular how diffident a normally self confident man
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Speaker 1: can become once he is in love. When Colonel Milvery
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Speaker 1: of the Hall had informed of his promotion to the
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Speaker 1: post of second Gardener, Tom had demanded no encore. He
16:05
Speaker 1: knew his worth. He was perfectly aware that he was
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Speaker 1: a good gardener, and official recognition of the fact left
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Speaker 1: him gratified but unperturbed. But this affair of Sallie was
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Speaker 1: quite another matter. It had revolutionized his standards of value,
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Speaker 1: forced him to consider himself as a man entirely apart
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Speaker 1: from his skill as a gardener. And until this moment
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Speaker 1: he had had grave doubt as to whether apart from
16:26
Speaker 1: his skill as a gardener, he amounted to much. He
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Speaker 1: was overwhelmed. He kissed Sallie across the fence humbly. Sally,
16:36
Speaker 1: for her part, seemed very unconcerned about it all. A
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Speaker 1: more critical man than Thomas Kitchener might have said that,
16:41
Speaker 1: to all appearances, the thing rather aboard. Sally, don't tell
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Speaker 1: anybody just yet, She stipulated. Tom would have given much
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Speaker 1: to be allowed to announce his triumph defiently to old
16:52
Speaker 1: mister Williams, to say nothing of making a considerable noise
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Speaker 1: about it in the village. But her wish was law,
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Speaker 1: and he reluctantly agreed. There are moments in a man's
17:03
Speaker 1: life when, however enthusiastic a gardener, he may be his
17:06
Speaker 1: soul sores above vegetables. Tom's shot with a jerk into
17:10
Speaker 1: the animal kingdom. The first present he gave Sallie in
17:13
Speaker 1: his capacity of fiancee was a dog. It was a
17:18
Speaker 1: half grown puppy with long legs and a long tail,
17:21
Speaker 1: belonging to no one species, but generously distributing itself among
17:24
Speaker 1: about six Sallie loved it and took it with her
17:28
Speaker 1: wherever she went, And on one of those rambles down
17:31
Speaker 1: swooped Constable Cobb, the village policeman, pointing out that, contrary
17:36
Speaker 1: to regulation, the puppy had no collar. It's possible that
17:40
Speaker 1: a judicious meekness on Sallie's part might have averted disaster.
17:44
Speaker 1: Mister Cobb was human, and Salli was looking particularly attractive
17:47
Speaker 1: that morning. Meekness, however, did not come easy to Sally.
17:52
Speaker 1: In a speech which began as argument and ended mister
17:54
Speaker 1: Cobb proving solid and unyielding as pure cheek, she utterly
17:59
Speaker 1: wrote to the Constable, but her victory was only a
18:02
Speaker 1: moral one, for as she turned to go, mister Cobb,
18:05
Speaker 1: dull red and puffing slightly, was already entering particulars of
18:09
Speaker 1: the affair in his note book, and Sally knew that
18:12
Speaker 1: the last word was with him. On her way back,
18:15
Speaker 1: she met Tom Kitchener. He was looking very tough and strong,
18:18
Speaker 1: and at the sight of him, a half formed idea
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Speaker 1: which she had regretfully dismissed as impracticable of assaulting Constable Cobb,
18:25
Speaker 1: returned to her in an amended form. Tom did not
18:29
Speaker 1: know it, but the reason why she smiled so radiantly
18:31
Speaker 1: upon him at that moment was that she had just
18:34
Speaker 1: elected him to the post of hired assassin. While she
18:37
Speaker 1: did not want Constable Cobb actually assassinated, she earnestly desired
18:41
Speaker 1: him to have his helmet smashed down over his eyes,
18:44
Speaker 1: and it seemed to her that Tom was the man
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Speaker 1: to do it. She poured out her grievance to him
18:49
Speaker 1: and suggested his scheme. She even elaborated it. Why shouldn't
18:53
Speaker 1: you wait for him one night and throw him into
18:55
Speaker 1: the creek. It isn't deep and it's jolly muddy, um,
18:58
Speaker 1: said Tom. Doubtfully. It would just teach him, she pointed
19:02
Speaker 1: at But the prospect of undertaking the higher education of
19:06
Speaker 1: the police did not seem to appeal to Tom. In
19:09
Speaker 1: his heart. He rather sympathized with Constable Cobb. He saw
19:12
Speaker 1: the policeman's point of view. It's all very well to talk,
19:16
Speaker 1: but when you are stationed in a sleepy village where
19:18
Speaker 1: no one ever murders or robs, or commits arson, or
19:21
Speaker 1: even gets drunk and disorderly in the street, a puppy
19:24
Speaker 1: without a collar is simply a godsend. The man must
19:27
Speaker 1: look out for himself. He tried to make this side
19:30
Speaker 1: of the question clear to Sallie, but failed. Signally, she
19:34
Speaker 1: took a deplorable view of his attitude. I might announ
19:38
Speaker 1: that you'd have been afraid, she said, with a contemptuous
19:40
Speaker 1: jerk of her chin. Good morning. Tom flushed. He knew
19:45
Speaker 1: he had never been afraid of anything in his life
19:46
Speaker 1: except her, but nevertheless the accusation stung, and as he
19:51
Speaker 1: was still afraid of her, he stammered as he began
19:53
Speaker 1: to deny the charge. Oh leave off, said Sallie irritably.
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Speaker 1: Suck a lozenge. I'm not afraid, said Tom, condensing his
20:02
Speaker 1: remarks to their minimum as his only chance of being intelligible.
20:06
Speaker 1: You are, I am not. It's just that I A
20:10
Speaker 1: nasty gleam came into Sallie's eyes. Her manner was haughty.
20:14
Speaker 1: It doesn't matter, she paused, I've no doubt ted Pringle
20:17
Speaker 1: will do what I want. For all her contempt, she
20:20
Speaker 1: could not keep a touch of uneasiness from her eyes
20:23
Speaker 1: as she prepared to make her next remark. There was
20:25
Speaker 1: a look about Tom's set jaw which made her hesitate.
20:28
Speaker 1: But her temper had run away with her, and she
20:30
Speaker 1: went on. I'm sure he will, she said. When we
20:34
Speaker 1: become engaged, he said that he'd do anyth inform me.
20:38
Speaker 1: There are some speeches that are such conversational knock out
20:41
Speaker 1: blows that one can hardly believe that life will ever
20:43
Speaker 1: pick itself up and go on again after them. Yet
20:46
Speaker 1: it does. The dramatist brings down the curtain on such speeches.
20:50
Speaker 1: The novelist blocks his reader's path with a zareba of stars.
20:55
Speaker 1: But in life there are no curtains, no stars, nothing
20:58
Speaker 1: final and definite, only ragged pauses and discomfort. There was
21:04
Speaker 1: such a pause. Now, what do you mean, said Tom?
21:08
Speaker 1: At last, you promised to marry me. I know I did,
21:11
Speaker 1: and I promised to marry Ted Pringle that touch of
21:15
Speaker 1: panic which she could not wholly repress, the panic that
21:18
Speaker 1: comes to every one when the situation has run away
21:20
Speaker 1: with them, like a strange, unmanageable machine infused to shade
21:24
Speaker 1: too much of the defiant into Sally's manner. She had
21:28
Speaker 1: wished to be cool, even casual, But she was beginning
21:31
Speaker 1: to be afraid. Why, she could not have said. Certainly
21:35
Speaker 1: she had not anticipate violence on Tom's part. Perhaps that
21:39
Speaker 1: was it. Perhaps it was just because he was so
21:41
Speaker 1: quiet that she was afraid. She had always looked on
21:44
Speaker 1: him contemptuously as an amiable transparent lout, and now he
21:48
Speaker 1: was puzzling her. She got an impression of something formidable
21:52
Speaker 1: behind his stolidity, something that made her feel mean and insignificant.
21:57
Speaker 1: She fought against the feeling, but it gripped her, and
22:00
Speaker 1: in spite of herself, she found her voice growing shrill
22:02
Speaker 1: and out of control. I promised to marry Ted Pringle,
22:06
Speaker 1: and I promised to marry Joe Blossom, and I promised
22:08
Speaker 1: to marry Albert Parson's and I was going to promise
22:11
Speaker 1: to marry Arthur Brown and anybody else who asked me so.
22:14
Speaker 1: Now you know I told you I'd make father take
22:16
Speaker 1: me back to London. Well, when hears that I promised
22:19
Speaker 1: to marry four different men, I bet it have me
22:21
Speaker 1: home by the first train, she stopped. She had more
22:25
Speaker 1: to say, but she could not say it. She stood
22:28
Speaker 1: looking at him, and he looked at her. His face
22:31
Speaker 1: was gray, and his mouth oddly twisted. Silence seemed to
22:34
Speaker 1: fall on the whole universe. Sally was really afraid now,
22:38
Speaker 1: and she knew it. She was feeling very small and
22:41
Speaker 1: defenseless in her extremely alarming world. She could not have
22:45
Speaker 1: said what it was that had happened to her. She
22:47
Speaker 1: only knew that life had become of a sudden, very vivid,
22:51
Speaker 1: and that her ideas as to what was amusing had
22:53
Speaker 1: undergone a striking change. A man's development is a slow
22:57
Speaker 1: and steady process of the years. A woman's a thing
23:00
Speaker 1: of an instant. In the silence which followed her words,
23:03
Speaker 1: Sallie had grown up, Tom broke the silence. Is this true?
23:08
Speaker 1: He said? His voice made her start. He'd spoken quietly,
23:12
Speaker 1: but there was a new note in it, strange to her.
23:15
Speaker 1: Just as she could not have said that what it
23:17
Speaker 1: was that had happened to her, so now she could
23:20
Speaker 1: not have said what had happened to Tom? He too
23:23
Speaker 1: had changed, but how she did not know yet. The
23:26
Speaker 1: explanation was simple. He also had, in a sense grown up.
23:31
Speaker 1: He was no longer afraid of her. He stood thinking,
23:35
Speaker 1: Ours seemed to pass. Come along, he said at last,
23:39
Speaker 1: and he began to move off down the road. Sallie followed.
23:42
Speaker 1: The possibility of refusing did not enter her mind. Where
23:46
Speaker 1: are you going? She asked? It was unbearable this silence.
23:49
Speaker 1: He did not answer. In this fashion, he leading, she following.
23:53
Speaker 1: They went down the road into a lane and through
23:56
Speaker 1: a gate into a field. They passed into a second field,
23:58
Speaker 1: and as they did so, Allily's heart gave a leap.
24:01
Speaker 1: Ted Pringle was there. Ted Pringle was a big young man,
24:05
Speaker 1: bigger even than Tom Kitchener, and like Tom, he was
24:08
Speaker 1: of silent habit. He eyed the little procession inquiringly, but
24:12
Speaker 1: spoke no word. There was a pause, Ted said Tom,
24:16
Speaker 1: there's been a mistake. He stepped quickly to Sallie's side,
24:20
Speaker 1: and the next moment he had swung her off her
24:22
Speaker 1: feet and kissed her. To the type of mind that
24:25
Speaker 1: Milbourne breeds, the actions speak louder than words, and Ted Pringle,
24:30
Speaker 1: who had gaped, gaped no more. He sprang forward, and Tom,
24:33
Speaker 1: pushing Sallie aside, turned to meet him. I cannot help
24:37
Speaker 1: feeling a little sorry for Ted Pringle. In the light
24:40
Speaker 1: of what happened. I could wish that it were possible
24:42
Speaker 1: to portray him as a hulking bruit of evil appearance
24:45
Speaker 1: and worse morals, the sort of person concerning whom one
24:49
Speaker 1: could reflect comfortably that he deserved all he got. I
24:52
Speaker 1: should like to make him an unsympathetic character over whose
24:55
Speaker 1: downfall the reader would bloat. But honesty compels me to
24:59
Speaker 1: own that Ted was a thoroughly decent young man. In
25:01
Speaker 1: every way. He was a good citizen, the dutiful son,
25:04
Speaker 1: and would certainly have made an excellent husband. Furthermore, in
25:07
Speaker 1: the dispute on hand, he had right on his side,
25:10
Speaker 1: fully as much as Tom. The whole affair was one
25:13
Speaker 1: of those elemental clashings of man and man where the
25:16
Speaker 1: historian cannot sympathize with either side at the expense of
25:20
Speaker 1: the other, but must confine himself to a mere statement
25:23
Speaker 1: of what occurred. And briefly, what occurred was that Tom,
25:27
Speaker 1: bringing to the fray a pent up fury which his
25:29
Speaker 1: adversary had no time to generate, fought Ted to a
25:33
Speaker 1: complete stand still in the space of two minutes and
25:35
Speaker 1: a half. Sally had watched the proceedings sick and horrified.
25:39
Speaker 1: She had never seen men fight before, and the terror
25:42
Speaker 1: of it overwhelmed her. Her vanity received no pleasant stimulation
25:46
Speaker 1: from the thought that it was for her sake that
25:48
Speaker 1: this storm had been let loose. For the moment, her
25:50
Speaker 1: vanity was dead, stunned by collision with the realities. She
25:54
Speaker 1: found herself watching in a dream. She saw Ted fall, rise,
25:58
Speaker 1: fall again, and lie where he had fallen, And then
26:01
Speaker 1: she was aware that Tom was speaking, come along. She
26:06
Speaker 1: hung back. Ted was lying very still. Gruesome ideas presented themselves.
26:11
Speaker 1: She had just accepted them as truth. When Ted wriggled,
26:14
Speaker 1: he wriggled again. Then he sat up, suddenly looked at
26:16
Speaker 1: her with unseeing eyes, and said something in a thick voice.
26:20
Speaker 1: She gave a little sob of relief. It was ghastly,
26:23
Speaker 1: but not so ghastly as what she had been imagining.
26:26
Speaker 1: Somebody touched her arm. Tom was by her side, grim
26:30
Speaker 1: and formidable. He was wiping blood from his face. Come along.
26:35
Speaker 1: She followed him without a word, and presently behold in
26:37
Speaker 1: another field, whistling meditatively, and regardless of impending ill will
26:42
Speaker 1: Albert Parsons. In everything that he did, Tom was a
26:45
Speaker 1: man of method. He did not depart from his chosen formula. Albert,
26:50
Speaker 1: he said, there's been a mistake, and Albert gaped as
26:53
Speaker 1: Ted had gaped. Tom kissed Sally with the gravity of
26:56
Speaker 1: one performing a ritual. The uglinesses of life, as we
27:00
Speaker 1: grow accustomed to them, lose their power to shock, And
27:03
Speaker 1: there is no doubt that Sally looked with a different
27:05
Speaker 1: eye upon this second struggle. She was conscious of a
27:08
Speaker 1: thrill of excitement, very different from the shrinking horror which
27:11
Speaker 1: had seized her before her stunned vanity began to tingle
27:14
Speaker 1: into life again. The fight was raging furiously over the
27:17
Speaker 1: trampled turf, and quite suddenly, as she watched, she was
27:20
Speaker 1: aware that her heart was with Tom. It was no
27:24
Speaker 1: longer two strange brutes fighting in the field. It was
27:27
Speaker 1: her man, battling for her sake. She desired overwhelmingly that
27:31
Speaker 1: he should win, that he should not be hurt, and
27:34
Speaker 1: that he should sweep triumphantly over Albert Parsons as he
27:37
Speaker 1: had swept over Ted Pringle. Unfortunately, it was evident even
27:41
Speaker 1: to her that he was being hurt, and that he
27:43
Speaker 1: was very far from sweeping triumphantly over Albert Parson. He
27:47
Speaker 1: had not allowed himself time to recover from his first battle,
27:50
Speaker 1: and his blows were slow and weary. Albert, moreover, was
27:53
Speaker 1: made of sterner stuff than Ted, though now a peaceful
27:57
Speaker 1: tender of cows, There had been a time in his
27:58
Speaker 1: hot youth went traveling with a circus. He had fought
28:01
Speaker 1: week in, week out relays of just such rustic warriors
28:05
Speaker 1: as Tom. He knew their methods, their headlong rushes, their
28:08
Speaker 1: swinging blows. They were the merest commonplaces of life to him.
28:12
Speaker 1: He slipped Tom, he sidestepped Tom, he jabbed Tom. He
28:16
Speaker 1: did everything to Tom that a trained boxer can do
28:18
Speaker 1: to a reckless novice, except knock the fight out of him,
28:21
Speaker 1: until presently, through the sheer labor of hitting, he too
28:24
Speaker 1: grew weary. Now in the days when Albert Parsons had
28:29
Speaker 1: fought whole families of Tom's in an evening, he had
28:31
Speaker 1: fought in rounds with the boss holding the watch, and
28:34
Speaker 1: half minute rests and water to refresh him, and all
28:37
Speaker 1: orderly and proper. To day, there were no rounds, no rests,
28:41
Speaker 1: no water, and the peaceful tending of cows had caused
28:44
Speaker 1: flesh to grow where there had been only muscle. Tom's
28:47
Speaker 1: headlong rushes became less easy to sidestep, his swinging blows,
28:51
Speaker 1: more difficult than the scientific counter that shot out to
28:53
Speaker 1: check them. As he tired, Tom seemed to regain strength.
28:57
Speaker 1: The tire of the battle began to ebb. He clinched,
29:00
Speaker 1: and Tom threw him off. He fainted, and while he
29:02
Speaker 1: was fainting, Tom was on him. It was the climax
29:05
Speaker 1: of the battle. The last rally down went Albert and
29:08
Speaker 1: stayed down. Physically, he was not finished, but in his
29:11
Speaker 1: mind a question had framed itself, the question was it
29:15
Speaker 1: worth it? Then he was answering No, there were other
29:19
Speaker 1: girls in the world. No girl was worth all this trouble.
29:22
Speaker 1: He did not rise. Come along, said Tom. He spoke thickly.
29:28
Speaker 1: His breath was coming in gasps. He was a terrible spectacle.
29:31
Speaker 1: But Sally was past the weaker emotions. She was back
29:35
Speaker 1: in the stone age, and her only feeling was one
29:37
Speaker 1: of passionate pride. She tried to speak, She struggled to
29:40
Speaker 1: put all she felt into words, but something kept her dumb,
29:43
Speaker 1: and she followed him in silence. In the lane outside
29:46
Speaker 1: his cottage, down by the creek, Joe Blossom was clipping
29:49
Speaker 1: a hedge. The sound of footsteps made him turn. He
29:52
Speaker 1: did not recognize Tom till he spoke, Joel, there's been
29:56
Speaker 1: a mistake, said Tom Benter gumpop explosion, more like, said Joe,
30:01
Speaker 1: A simple practical man. What human doing to your face?
30:06
Speaker 1: She's going to marry me, Joe. Joe eyed Sally, inquiringly, Eh,
30:11
Speaker 1: you promised to marry me. She promised to marry all
30:15
Speaker 1: of us. Hugh me ted Pringle, Albert Parsons promise to
30:19
Speaker 1: marry all of us. That's where the mistake was. She's
30:23
Speaker 1: only going to marry me. I I've arranged it with
30:26
Speaker 1: Ted and Albert, and now I've come to explain to you, Joe,
30:30
Speaker 1: you promised to marry the colossal nature of Sally's deceit
30:33
Speaker 1: was plainly troubling Joe Blossom. He expelled his breath in
30:37
Speaker 1: a long note of amazement. Then he summed up, why
30:41
Speaker 1: you're nothing more or less than a Joshua. The years
30:44
Speaker 1: that had passed since Joe had attended the village Sunday
30:47
Speaker 1: School had weakened his once easy familiarity with the characters
30:51
Speaker 1: of the Old Testament. It's possible that he had somebody
30:53
Speaker 1: else in mind. Tom stuck doggedly to his point, you
30:58
Speaker 1: can't marry a Joe. Joe Blossom raised his shears and
31:02
Speaker 1: clipped a protruding branch. The point under discussion seemed to
31:05
Speaker 1: have ceased to interest him. Who wants to? He said,
31:08
Speaker 1: good riddance. They went down the lane. Silence still brooded
31:13
Speaker 1: over them. The words she wanted continued to evade her.
31:16
Speaker 1: They came to a grassy bank. Tom sat down. He
31:19
Speaker 1: was feeling unutterably tired Tom. He looked up. His mind
31:24
Speaker 1: was working dizzily. You're going to marry me, he muttered.
31:28
Speaker 1: She sat down beside him. I know, she said, Tom,
31:32
Speaker 1: dare lay ahead on my lap and go to sleep.
31:35
Speaker 1: If this story proves anything beyond the advantage of being
31:38
Speaker 1: in good training when you fight, it proves that you
31:40
Speaker 1: cannot get away from the moving pictures, even in her
31:43
Speaker 1: place like Milburn. For As Sally sat there nursing Tom,
31:47
Speaker 1: it suddenly struck her that this was the very situation
31:50
Speaker 1: with which the Romance of the Middle Ages film ended,
31:53
Speaker 1: you know the one I mean, Sir Percival. Yet something
31:56
Speaker 1: which has slipped my memory for the moment goes out
31:59
Speaker 1: after the Holy Rail meets Damsel in distress, overcomes her persecutors,
32:03
Speaker 1: rescues her, gets wounded, and has nursed back to life
32:06
Speaker 1: in her arms. Sally had seen it a dozen times,
32:09
Speaker 1: and every time she had reflected that the days of
32:11
Speaker 1: romance are dead, and that that sort of thing can't
32:14
Speaker 1: happen nowadays. End of section two, Story two Something to
32:20
Speaker 1: Worry About recording by Mike Harris,