Latest / The SmallBizChat with Melinda Emerson / Executive Function Support with Jared Kallen

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Executive Function Support with Jared Kallen · The SmallBizChat with Melinda Emerson

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  Three, two, one, zero.
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  Ignition.
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  Lift off.
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  Ending small business failure.
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  Welcome to the Small Biz Chat podcast with the number one small business expert, Melinda
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  Emerson.
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  Melinda's goal is to end small business failure, and she'll give you the information
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  you need to succeed and live the life you dream of.
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  Now here's your host, the small biz chat lady herself, Melinda Emerson.
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  Have you subscribed to the small biz chat podcast?
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  Well, it's time.
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  Every Wednesday, we offer listeners bite sized actionable tips to start and grow a successful
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  small business.
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  In just twenty minutes or so a week, you can get a ton of insight and resources to propel
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  your business forward.
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  Be sure to subscribe to the Small Bitch Chat podcast today.
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  Hi, everybody, and welcome to another edition of the Small Biz Chat podcast.
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  I'm Melinda Emerson, small biz lady, your host, America's number one small business expert, and
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  our mission is simple, to end small business failure with real talk and real strategies from
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  business leaders who have done the work.
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  If you enjoy the Small Biz Chat podcast and value our show, please share it with another
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  entrepreneur and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to your
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  favorite podcast.
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  Now listen, if you don't like my show, do not leave me hate mail online.
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  But if you do, we would really appreciate a glowing review.
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  So to help more small business owners find the show.
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  Allow me to introduce my guest, Jared Callan, who is the founder and CEO and director of
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  Action Pack Coaching.
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  He is a coach, a mentor, and an accountability partner with thirty two years of experience.
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  He helps families beat procrastination, hyper focus, and stalemate building focused study
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  habits, motivation, and organization.
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  And with humor, daily check ins, and individualized strategies, Jared turns chaos
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  into progress and stress into confidence, strengthening communication and relationships.
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  Jared, welcome to the Small Bitch Chat podcast.
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  Well, thank you so much for having me.
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  I really appreciate it.
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  Oh gosh, well, tell me about you.
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  How did you become an executive function coach?
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  That's a great question.
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  Basically, started, my whole family had an emphasis on education from day one.
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  And then I, as a result of that, I became a middle school and high school, mostly
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  humanities teacher for about five or six years at both public private schools.
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  And then I went off and did a corporate thing for about five years, which is mortgage
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  banking.
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  And that fed the family, but I hated it.
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  And then all along, was coaching and tutoring.
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  And then when I decided I had enough, then I spawned action packed coaching, and never
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  looked back.
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  Now, can you define the difference between executive function coaching and like tutoring
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  or, know, who's the other group, therapy, right?
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  You know, so people therapy, they think tutoring and executive function coach, how are
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  those things different?
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  What?
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  Yeah, that's a great question.
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  So basically, they all differ.
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  And it's also important to not sort of cross boundaries or blend lines, you know, so a
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  therapist, you know, I'm speaking generally here.
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  We can't, like, to, you know, be you know you know, it it not every therapist fits whatever
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  I'm gonna say, and not every tutor fits whatever I'm gonna say.
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  But what is true is that therapists, traditionally will deal with, things they're
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  trained in such as, you know, diagnoses, and then treatment, you know, best practices for
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  treatment, etc.
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  And they're dealing with all sorts of issues such as anxiety, depression, OCD, etc.
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  You know, lots of ailments.
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  And I nor is anyone on my team trained to do that.
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  So we don't blur the lines there.
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  Okay.
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  And the same and so, so for example, we collaborate with multiple therapists globally,
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  literally.
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  But it's only when we do that, when we reach out to a therapist or a therapist reaches out
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  to us or some member of my team, that what happens is we just try to get to the best, best
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  practice solution, get consensus and then put it into action.
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  And that's very useful because the therapist may be hearing one thing, I may be experiencing
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  another thing, let's say with a kid who has got executive functioning issues, ADHD, ASD, ADD,
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  whatever, right?
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  And then sometimes the therapist will say, but keep in mind that, or remember, we read on the
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  neuropsych report, he has very low working memory.
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  So we have to take it slow, you know, or something like that, very concrete advice, and
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  guidance.
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  And then we immediately amend the action plan.
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  With respect to tutoring, which you brought up, tutoring, it's a pretty different emphasis.
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  First of all, tutoring is generally, you know, if if mom finds out that their tenth grader is
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  failing math, then they immediately reach out to a the best math tutor they can find.
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  Okay?
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  But it's confined to math.
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  So it's gonna be, you know, how do we get you better in math?
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  How do we get you better in understanding the how to work the equations?
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  How do we get you better in showing your work so you don't lose points on tests?
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  But it's not gonna be the holistic approach that my company provides, which is everything,
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  to be honest.
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  So so we would we would we would never dare to like say that we're gonna coach, you know,
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  generally somebody on like French, Latin, test prep, or, you know, anything, a bio, chem,
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  whatever.
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  No, we don't do that.
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  We have great partners that have already been vetted.
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  So if any so if anybody were to come to me, anyone who would come to me and say, who's the
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  best out there for this, that thing, I've already vetted them.
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  I know who refer.
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  And I know that there's almost 100% probability that there'll be success, which is important.
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  I only mentioned because, many parents and others go on sort of shopping sprees to figure
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  out who's the best.
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  And it can get very confusing and stressful because they're comparing prices, they're
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  comparing packages, and they're comparing experience and expertise, and they can get
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  like, you know, pretty jumbled.
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  And then the result sometimes is no decision, which is not good for the kid.
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  Can you relate?
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  I can't, I can't.
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  So how does a parent figure out that they need you, Jared?
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  Like, what's your intake process like if I've got a kid that's struggling in school and the
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  school's not really giving me a lot of help other than constantly complaining to me about
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  my kid not, but
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  how do you
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  be like, oh no, this is a kid that needs executive function support?
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  Well, there's a lot of ways to approach that question.
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  One thing is that every kid probably needs executive function support, whether they're
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  neurodivergent or neurotypical.
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  In other words, the schools these days, by and large, generalizing, do not teach how to best
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  organize, how to best self advocate, how to best plan, how to best schedule, how to best
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  prioritize.
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  So it's my job to do that or some member of my company.
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  So the main thing is that, you know, taking apart for a second separating whether you're
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  neurodivergent or not, my point is everybody needs sort of modeling, mentoring, and very
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  clear action plans and guidance in this area of how do you how are you better organized?
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  How do you not forget homework?
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  How do you not forget to submit homework after you've worked hard on it?
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  How do you learn how to self advocate effectively with the teachers who are
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  responsible for your growth and education?
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  These are all things that typically when a kid or anybody comes to me does not know how to do
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  or even worse, will oppose me.
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  They say I don't need it.
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  I don't want, you know, I don't want it.
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  I don't need it.
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  I don't know why I'm talking, you know, that kind of stuff.
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  Right?
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  So the only other part to the, to sort of your answer to the question is that, you know, ADHD
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  or executive functioning coaching is both an art and a science.
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  You can't, you can't like, differentiate it because it sometimes it's gotta be science,
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  someone's gotta be like, oh, art.
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  Like, how do you handle a kid who when you first get on a call with them, because their
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  parents signed me up, let's say, and that's an example.
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  And they say, I don't even know why I'm here.
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  I don't need any help.
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  Right?
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  And and and and then just as a corollary, everyone needs help.
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  I need help.
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  Melinda needs help, and everyone else needs help.
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  And so sometimes that's a little bit of a good starter, because then I then it's up to me to
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  say, well, you know, I think everyone needs help.
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  But you say it in sort of a way where it's sort of a we approach and not an I approach like,
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  well, I always ask for help.
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  What Why are you not asking?
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  More like, how can we all start to ask more for help?
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  Because it will lead and you have to sort of show it as how it's going to best serve the
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  client or the kid.
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  Because the ADHD kid or the neurodivergent kid always wants to know why before they even
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  commit to doing anything.
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  So you have to explain the why, and you have to show very clearly and concretely how it will
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  benefit their lives and their priorities, right?
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  So that is very critical.
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  If you do not explain the why, you've lost the kid.
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  Because I don't know why he wants me do this.
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  I don't even wanna go to college.
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  What am I doing this for?
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  Why did my parents sign me up?
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  All right, Jared, I've got a question to ask you.
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  Yes, ma'am.
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  Is there
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  a between working with adults and working with students?
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  Because I can imagine adults come to you with a little bit more urgent problem, right?
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  So, I'm 30 years old, I'm working my first or second job, and they got me on a performance
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  review, you know, a PIP or whatever because I'm not delivering on time.
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  You know, how is it different?
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  Are the challenges different?
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  Or is it like someone ends up coming to you at 30 because they didn't fix this problem when
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  they were in high school?
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  Like, how does all that work?
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  Yeah, that's a great question.
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  Thank you for asking.
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  Basically, the challenges are the same, But the motivation level is usually different.
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  To your point, because if you have a 30 year old or 26 year old or 39 year old, or whatever,
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  and they're experiencing career problems or not getting promoted or getting demoted, or
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  whatever, you know, something negative, then if they're reaching out to me and contracting with
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  me, then their motivation as an adult who has, you know, has responsibilities, financial and
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  otherwise, is usually greater, than your average, let's say, six year old, if that makes
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  sense.
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  So because they're more invested in what's going on with their lives, they may have
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  families, they may have obligations.
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  And so they may say, you know, alright, you sound good.
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  Let's get going.
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  Let's roll.
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  Please fix me, help me, give me, action plans, monitor me, keep me self accountable, all the
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  things that they have failed to do in the past, really.
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  And so that that's the that's the critical difference.
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  But but just to be really clear, it's really the same problems that have gone untreated if
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  you're dealing with an adult.
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  It just mean to me, it means that whenever they were 16, 17, 20, and the issues were not
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  addressed, now we have to address them at age 30, 35, 40 because they were not addressed.
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  It's the same problems, whether it's, being able to be good self advocator, being a good
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  planner, having perspective, not having an ego trip, not hyper focusing and sort of
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  disappearing from the job for five years.
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  I'm sorry, for five hours when it was supposed to be a half hour job and not communicating
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  that to your team.
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  These are the ways that people self sabotage all the time.
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  And and one of the missing links is lack of clear communication.
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  If you're on a team and you're, let's say, a corporate player, architect, investor,
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  financial advisor, whatever, you know, you you could be great at what you do.
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  You could have mastery over all your content.
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  You could know the best things to buy to advance your, client's cause.
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  But then if you go off and hyper focus for five hours, and don't tell anyone, you're not gonna
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  look good with your, you know, you're risking your job.
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  And this happens all the time.
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  This is not like a one and done.
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  This happens all the time.
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  So tell me how you involve parents when you're working with a student.
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  I mean, because I'm imagining the whole goal is to get this person to be more of a self starter
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  to kinda handle stuff on their own.
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  So, how do you still involve parents and sort of like break this?
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  I mean, because I don't know.
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  I'm a mom.
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  I feel like I'm an executive function coach too.
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  Right?
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  Because, you know, knocking on people's doors, making sure people are up, making
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  sure people
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  where they're supposed to be, reminding people to take the transfer.
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  You know?
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  So so I so how do you get the parents from being out of that role
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  Yeah.
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  With the the young people that you work with?
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  Well, you know, that that is that's the best question you've asked all night because, the
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  the thing is that the whole goal of hiring a good executive executive functioning and life
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  coach is to remove you from the picture largely as a parent.
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  Because what happens is many of these negative, toxic, self sabotaging patterns have developed
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  over years, or decades sometimes.
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  And so the probability that you as a mom or somebody as a dad or mentor, that they know
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  well, causing them a change is very low.
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  It's a low low probability proposition.
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  But if you hire a neutral type person like me or anybody on my team, then it's much higher
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  because they don't have all that negative baggage or anything like that.
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  And so as long as I or anyone, a member of my team are conducting themselves as in look, this
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  is just between you and me.
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  We all we want to do is help you.
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  This is a non judgment zone.
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  We're gonna we're gonna meet you where you are, and we're gonna get you better.
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  And the result will be that you're gonna get more of what you want, which is less nagging,
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  more fun, more productivity, better outcomes, more income, and all that stuff.
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  And you're going to do it mostly on your own.
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  And so that's sort of so part of the process of really excellent executive and life coaching is
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  to, is to is to supplant or replace the parent temporarily, so that you can get best
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  practices, into action, and then you deliver them back to the parent.
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  So it's not like a forever engagement.
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  Hire me and then fire me.
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  All right.
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  Hire me and then fire me.
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  So what is your typical time that you work with students?
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  Is it
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  Great question.
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  So basically, it's all over the map because the typical arrangement is going to be a matter of
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  months depending on what the kid is, what the parents are reporting, what I see on the
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  neuropsychological report, in terms of gaps, you know, you can have low working memory, you
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  can have oppositionality, you could have other things that are going be a little bit more hard
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  to deal with, which means a longer duration of the coaching period, almost always.
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  But at the same point, at the same time, I have to remain flexible, because a parent might say,
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  you know, I want to make progress, but I am not signing up for whatever contract.
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  I want this, you know.
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  And so then my only responsible response to that is, I will give you all that I have with
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  whatever you have, and then let's see what we do.
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  You know, so it's, you know, one of the biggest things is to be very flexible with each
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  different client and to customize your solution and your action plan to each different client,
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  each different family.
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  Because they're all different.
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  There's not one that is identical.
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  There's not even, you know, some might be overly focused on output and grades when really
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  there's, there's infrastructure that has to be built with the kid before you can even think
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  about getting better grades.
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  Sometimes there's just direct oppositionality, you have to break through one way or another.
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  Usually, do it by entertainment and exciting presentation of lots of things that relate
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  directly to the kid that will make them interested in talking to me more.
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  So for example, a kid, let's say, let's say, I'm just I'm just drawing on prior experience.
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  But you know, if I was coaching in eleventh grade running back at a prep school, and he was
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  amazing running back, but he was avoiding all school activities, and all executive
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  functioning skill sets, then I have to meet him where he is.
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  And what that means is I'm a form former football player.
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  My son is a wide receiver.
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  I coach my son.
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  And so I just we talk football for a while to suck him in, to buy him in to the, you know,
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  the the buying is so critical.
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  That, you know, if they if they if they leave saying he got me or he's got me, that's great
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  because we're gonna make progress.
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  If they leave saying, I don't know, you know, sort of boring or whatever, that's the death
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  knell, And I will never do that.
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  I will never be boring.
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  I can that's that's the one thing only thing maybe I can promise is I will do my best to
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  shock them, stimulate them, engage them, entertain them so that they can look at me and
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  say, I don't think I've ever met someone like you before.
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  No tutor, no teacher, no coach, you know, and then I'm then after I get that, I'll say, let's
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  roll.
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  This is how we're rolling.
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  And then I'll then I'll, I'll spell out the specific action steps.
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  And then I'm gonna monitor them daily, which almost no other coach out there does.
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  And research supports the fact that the more touches you make throughout the week, the
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  better, so that any kid who might get stuck doesn't stay stuck for seven days.
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  They stay stuck for one day, then they get a quick text from me, which is concrete guidance,
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  and then hopefully they keep rolling.
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  Because otherwise, what happens is you have, you could have a whole missed week of zero
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  productivity, because they didn't ask for help, which many of them don't want to do or don't
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  don't like to do or refuse to do, which is something we focus on during the sessions.
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  And then the second thing is, they're sort of on their own until the next session.
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  And that doesn't always work that well.
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  So, you know, fifteen years ago, I noticed this pattern.
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  And I said, No, we're gonna be in contact every day, you know, and then tell me, you tell me,
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  set your alarm, you and tell me what time you're gonna text me.
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  I don't care what time it is.
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  It could be seven in the morning, could be 9PM, I don't care, you know, and then tell me what
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  your plan is for the next day.
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  What are the top four things you have to get done for the next day?
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  Then the next day, on the next text, then you look at what you did.
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  And if you've got something or couldn't get to it, you move it over to the next text.
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  So we don't drop the ball.
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  Continuity.
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  Right.
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  So that brings me to my, another question.
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  So what are the tech tools that you like to use with this population of clients that you work
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  with?
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  You said tech.
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  That's a good question.
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  Funny thing is that I'm gonna aren't any special tech tools.
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  There are lots of different apps.
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  Some probably are better than others.
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  But I don't focus on that because the main thing is the buy in from the kit or the client.
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  So if you get the buy in, they'll pick whatever app you tell them to pick, or they'll pick
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  Google Calendar, which is free and easy and populates easily and syncs your iPhone.
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  Right?
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  And you know, or if they take ownership of the situation, which I'm hoping for, they'll say I
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  really want to use x or y app.
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  And I'll say if it's gonna work for you, that's gonna work for me.
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  You just have to work it.
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  You know, it's like the saying in AA, know, if you work it, it works.
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  You don't work it,
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  it ain't gonna work.
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  Right.
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  I love your question, but it almost it almost sidesteps the main issues.
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  Like, you in it to win it or are you not?
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  That that is the basic question we ask every kid every parent.
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  It really is.
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  Like, are you in it to win it?
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  Because if you're in it to win it, pick any calendar system you want, any planning system
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  you want, because it's not up to me.
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  I'm only there for like one hour per week.
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  You're there twenty fourseven with your parents.
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  Okay?
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  That's one hundred and twenty eight hours or something.
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  I didn't do my math today.
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  I'm sorry.
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  You know?
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  And then, you know, and then we have to roll.
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  So, you know, I almost always laugh when somebody says, well, I've heard there's this
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  great app out there and it's superb and superior.
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  And I'm like, okay, then are you gonna use it?
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  And then, again, with the neurodivergent kid, especially, they may say something and I wrote
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  this to you, they may say something like, I'll think about it, or I might or perhaps, or I'm
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  not sure.
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  And I always tell them during the session, that's a no, I know you're not going to do it.
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  And it is always true.
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  It has never been not true.
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  And that's important data to, you know, realize when, you know, you don't want to get off any
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  coaching session with any lack of clarity or ambiguity.
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  That is a no no.
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  Right?
• 22:42
  So for example, you know, I'll say pick whatever system you want, and I'm gonna monitor
• 22:47
  you daily and track you, not in a way that's gonna piss you off, but in a way that's gonna
• 22:52
  ensure progress for you, and also maybe also reduce the nagging from family, which happens
• 22:59
  all the time as a huge stressor for the entire family as you know.
• 23:04
  Last question.
• 23:05
  What is the best business advice ever received?
• 23:09
  If you build it, it will come.
• 23:13
  Alright.
• 23:13
  There it is.
• 23:14
  Last thing.
• 23:15
  Jared, thank you so much for being here.
• 23:22
  Thanks for listening to the Small Biz Chat podcast with Melinda Emerson.
• 23:27
  Subscribe to this podcast wherever you listen to podcasts, and join us next Wednesday for
• 23:32
  more fantastic information and interviews.
• 23:35
  You can find more sources and small business success strategies by visiting Melinda's
• 23:40
  website, succeedasyourownboss.com.
• 23:43
  Thanks again for listening, and we'll see you next week.