Latest / Two Personal with Joy Taylor / Money, Culture & Hard Truths  w/ Rashad Bilal and Troy Millings | Joy Taylor x Earn Your Leisure:

Transcript

Money, Culture & Hard Truths  w/ Rashad Bilal and Troy Millings | Joy Taylor x Earn Your Leisure: · Two Personal with Joy Taylor

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: I feel like we try to put everybody in the
• 0:02
  Speaker 1: same box and it's like, Okay, go to therapy.
• 0:04
  Speaker 2: Some people to therapy is not enough. Some people don't
• 0:06
  Speaker 2: eat therapy.
• 0:07
  Speaker 3: We have to trust people in order to live in
• 0:10
  Speaker 3: a functioning society. So the idea like, oh, I don't
• 0:13
  Speaker 3: trust anybody, Like, yes, you do.
• 0:15
  Speaker 4: I think Jay said on a song one time, he
• 0:16
  Speaker 4: was like broken. Sometimes it's better than new because when
• 0:19
  Speaker 4: it's new and it's shiny, it hasn't been through anything.
• 0:21
  Speaker 1: That's the part that relationships get hard because you're looking
• 0:24
  Speaker 1: for the perfect person. That's why I think you can
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: be in love with two people at one time.
• 0:35
  Speaker 3: Hey, guys, welcome to Too Personal. I'm Joy Taylor. Thanks
• 0:38
  Speaker 3: for joining me for another episode. I have been traveling
• 0:42
  Speaker 3: the past couple of weeks and I got to catch
• 0:44
  Speaker 3: up with my very good friends Rashad and Troy, who
• 0:47
  Speaker 3: are the hosts of the Earn Your Leisure podcast. They
• 0:49
  Speaker 3: also have investments and a book and everything constantly traveling.
• 0:55
  Speaker 3: They have done an amazing job with financial literacy for
• 0:59
  Speaker 3: the culture. So really really loved talking to them. We'll
• 1:02
  Speaker 3: get to them later on the show. And of course
• 1:04
  Speaker 3: we have never Too Personal where we hear from you,
• 1:06
  Speaker 3: and you can email us to Personal Podcasts at gmail
• 1:08
  Speaker 3: dot com or follow us on social media, which you
• 1:10
  Speaker 3: should already be doing at two Personal Show, and if
• 1:13
  Speaker 3: you haven't already, make sure that you hit subscribe. It
• 1:16
  Speaker 3: has been an insane week for the United States of America.
• 1:22
  Speaker 3: It has been an insane week on the Internet. It's
• 1:25
  Speaker 3: been exhausting, it's been illuminating, it's been frustrating, it's been maddening, saddening.
• 1:32
  Speaker 5: I have seen.
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  Speaker 3: And heard probably every different angle of everyone's perspective on.
• 1:41
  Speaker 5: The killing of Charlie Kirk, and.
• 1:46
  Speaker 3: I don't really like to immediately react to big stories
• 1:50
  Speaker 3: like this. I like to let things marinate and see
• 1:55
  Speaker 3: what people are saying, see how I feel about what
• 1:57
  Speaker 3: people are saying. I don't really like to be the
• 1:59
  Speaker 3: first ones in the microphone when something like this happens.
• 2:03
  Speaker 3: And through that process, I have had a lot of
• 2:06
  Speaker 3: time to reflect on how I feel about the dialogue
• 2:10
  Speaker 3: surrounding it, how I feel about the reactions, the firings,
• 2:16
  Speaker 3: the consequences to simply quoting him that have happens, people
• 2:24
  Speaker 3: that have posted about it who have otherwise never shared
• 2:27
  Speaker 3: anything related to social issues or politics, and I've really
• 2:34
  Speaker 3: digested and consumed a lot of content and quotes about
• 2:39
  Speaker 3: the situation, and.
• 2:43
  Speaker 5: I have a few takeaways.
• 2:45
  Speaker 3: One, I really struggle with the statements he was a
• 2:52
  Speaker 3: family man.
• 2:54
  Speaker 5: Everyone has a family.
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  Speaker 3: You being a father and a husband does not some
• 3:00
  Speaker 3: how make this situation worse. So if he wasn't married
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  Speaker 3: and he didn't have kids, it wouldn't be as terrible
• 3:07
  Speaker 3: that he was murdered.
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  Speaker 5: People have families. That doesn't make any sense to me.
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  Speaker 3: And while I do understand that there are children who
• 3:16
  Speaker 3: are going to be growing up without a father, if
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  Speaker 3: he didn't have children, then his parents would be growing
• 3:21
  Speaker 3: up without their son, and his cousins and his aunts
• 3:24
  Speaker 3: and uncles, and his brothers and sisters.
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  Speaker 5: People have families.
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  Speaker 3: So to isolate this as if this is somehow more
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  Speaker 3: tragic because he's married and has children is very bizarre
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  Speaker 3: to me.
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  Speaker 5: That is just an overall takeaway.
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  Speaker 3: The second takeaway that I have is, in some ways
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  Speaker 3: it's put me in a very interesting position with a
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  Speaker 3: lot of people in my life. I didn't follow a
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  Speaker 3: lot of people because of what they had said about it,
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  Speaker 3: but I'm now watching people. One thing we know is
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  Speaker 3: there's going to be more violence. I'm not wishing for this.
• 3:58
  Speaker 3: I actively wish there was less gun violence. There have
• 4:02
  Speaker 3: been ten thousand, five hundred and twenty seven gun related
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  Speaker 3: deaths in America this year, ten thousand, five hundred and
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  Speaker 3: twenty seven. I have spoken many times about how I
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  Speaker 3: feel about gun violence, many times about how I feel
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  Speaker 3: about violence, and I would very much like for there
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  Speaker 3: to be less of that, but there will be more.
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  Speaker 3: And I am now having to watch people.
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  Speaker 5: Now.
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  Speaker 3: I have to watch people who spoke up about this
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  Speaker 3: and their sorrow and see if they are consistent. Because
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  Speaker 3: if you're not consistent, which I imagine most of these
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  Speaker 3: people will not be, it's going to be a reflection
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  Speaker 3: of your character and what.
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  Speaker 5: You really believe in. And I think that's something that.
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  Speaker 3: A lot of people did not think about when they
• 4:53
  Speaker 3: opened the door to speak their feelings about what happened.
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  Speaker 5: Because if you're not as sad for.
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  Speaker 3: Everyone who is murdered, why are you so sad about
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  Speaker 3: this particular person who lived his life in a very
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  Speaker 3: particular way. I'm gonna have to ask follow up questions,
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  Speaker 3: and I don't think that a lot of people are
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  Speaker 3: going to be able to have the answers for them
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  Speaker 3: certainly not answers they're going to feel comfortable giving.
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  Speaker 5: And my last.
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  Speaker 3: Takeaway, and this is the one that I have been
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  Speaker 3: the most consistent with and I feel the strongest about
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  Speaker 3: and have spoken about many times even before any of
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  Speaker 3: this happen, which is.
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  Speaker 5: The idea of being a.
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  Speaker 3: Person of faith and that absolving you from your behavior
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  Speaker 3: the brands of Christianity is so bad right now, it is.
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  Speaker 5: It has become something that I.
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  Speaker 3: Start to feel when someone talks to me about Christianity,
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  Speaker 3: that there is a good chance that you're not a
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  Speaker 3: good person, which is the opposite of what the idea
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  Speaker 3: of Christianity is supposed to be. That you're compassionate, that
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  Speaker 3: you're empathetic, that you love your enemy, that you love
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  Speaker 3: your neighbor, that you pray for people, that you feed
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  Speaker 3: the poor, that you are humble and kind and generous.
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  Speaker 3: These are not the characteristics of Christians that I am seeing.
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  Speaker 3: And my issue with that is it's become just a
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  Speaker 3: thing people say, and it blanket covers horrible behavior. It
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  Speaker 3: completely eliminates accountability, and it erases the way that people
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  Speaker 3: behave when they are here. If if all these people
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  Speaker 3: are going to heaven, I'm not trying to be there
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  Speaker 3: sounds like a place.
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  Speaker 5: Full of terrible hypocrites.
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  Speaker 3: Who don't give a fuck about anyone but themselves and
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  Speaker 3: the people that they look like, and they're behaving in
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  Speaker 3: a way that is very much not Christian and then
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  Speaker 3: slapping Jesus on it as if there's no one can
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  Speaker 3: criticize them.
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  Speaker 5: Well, I'm a Christian. What does that mean?
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  Speaker 3: What do you do? How do you treat people? What's
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  Speaker 3: in your heart? How can you hate people and be
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  Speaker 3: a Christian? The answer is, you're not a Christian. You're
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  Speaker 3: just making mouth sounds. You don't stand for anything. You
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  Speaker 3: don't hold yourself for anyone else accountable. And my frustration
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  Speaker 3: with the Christian faith, because it is a faith that
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  Speaker 3: I am so deeply familiar with, has become one that
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  Speaker 3: is so disheartening and frustrating that I'm having a real
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  Speaker 3: hard time with people who are around me. I don't
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  Speaker 3: want to be around a Christian that doesn't say the
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  Speaker 3: right thing in this situation. And there's only one right
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  Speaker 3: thing to say. There's only one right thing to say
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  Speaker 3: about this any other version, you're wandering into its territory
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  Speaker 3: where you are.
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  Speaker 5: Telling on yourself.
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  Speaker 3: And I think I saw this preacher and I don't
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  Speaker 3: have his name here. Maybe I should just pull it up.
• 8:06
  Speaker 3: Just give me a second, because I want to quote him.
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  Speaker 3: He put it, I think the best way that it
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  Speaker 3: could be put. When it comes to religion, it was
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  Speaker 3: Pastor Howard John Wesley at Alfred Street Baptist Church, and
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  Speaker 3: he said that he can abhor the way that you died,
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  Speaker 3: but I don't have to celebrate the way that you lived.
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  Speaker 3: And my only hope really from this situation is that
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  Speaker 3: we have the consciousness and ability to have a real
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  Speaker 3: conversation about gun violence, because that's the only conversation to have.
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  Speaker 3: Telling people how they should feel about someone who spent
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  Speaker 3: their life peddling hate is simply you saying you don't
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  Speaker 3: disagree with everything that he said. It's not a hard
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  Speaker 3: thing to do. Nobody is advocating for murder. I certainly
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  Speaker 3: am not advocating for murder. Again, there's plenty of tape
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  Speaker 3: of me talking about gun violence and how strongly I
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  Speaker 3: feel about it, so this is not new. And there's
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  Speaker 3: plenty of tape of me talking about religion and Christianity
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  Speaker 3: and how much I cannot stand the state that the
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  Speaker 3: Christian faith is in right now, so that is my
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  Speaker 3: only hope, and I do think that it's going to
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  Speaker 3: get very, very interesting. A lot of people have honestly
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  Speaker 3: already told on themselves because they had absolutely nothing to say.
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  Speaker 5: Earlier this year, when.
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  Speaker 3: Melissa Hortman and her husband were killed in their home,
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  Speaker 3: who was a Democratic state representative, and then another Democratic
• 10:01
  Speaker 3: state senator, John Hoffman, was shot in his home along
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  Speaker 3: with his wife in Minnesota, they had absolutely nothing to
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  Speaker 3: say about that.
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  Speaker 5: That is actual political violence.
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  Speaker 3: Again, Charlie Kirk was not a politician, he was not
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  Speaker 3: an elected official, he held no public office. Those were
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  Speaker 3: two politicians who were attacked in political violence, political gun violence,
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  Speaker 3: and it was silent. Most people don't even know that
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  Speaker 3: that happens, let alone care. So, Okay, we've moved forward,
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  Speaker 3: this has happened. We'll see how everyone reacts in the
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  Speaker 3: next step. And I will be watching because I anticipate
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  Speaker 3: a lot of people are going to have a very
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  Speaker 3: hard time explaining themselves when they aren't as loud and
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  Speaker 3: they aren't as sad, and unfortunately, because of the society
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  Speaker 3: we live in, they're likely going to get the opportunity
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  Speaker 3: to show how they really don't stand for anything at all,
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  Speaker 3: and the things that they claim they don't stand for,
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  Speaker 3: they have just endorsed. All right, let's get to Troy
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  Speaker 3: and Rashad from Earn Your Leisure.
• 11:10
  Speaker 5: All right.
• 11:10
  Speaker 3: I'm very excited for this one. This is a full
• 11:13
  Speaker 3: circle moment. My friends with sha Bealal and Troy Millings
• 11:18
  Speaker 3: of Earned your Leisure of course, financial advisors, entrepreneurs, they
• 11:23
  Speaker 3: Earn your Leisure podcasts.
• 11:25
  Speaker 5: Of course, the authors of You Deserve to Be Rich
• 11:27
  Speaker 5: are now on too. Personal Welcome guys, I thank you
• 11:30
  Speaker 5: for having us.
• 11:30
  Speaker 6: I love how you started with. Of course, of course,
• 11:33
  Speaker 6: of course, where are those things?
• 11:34
  Speaker 5: Of course you're all those things?
• 11:36
  Speaker 3: No, you guys man, we've met in twenty twenty, twenty twenty, yep,
• 11:46
  Speaker 3: when I first did your show, which was it feels
• 11:49
  Speaker 3: like a lifetime ago.
• 11:52
  Speaker 5: It feels like everything.
• 11:53
  Speaker 3: Has changed since twenty nineteen, and we're just like in
• 11:55
  Speaker 3: some some vortex now. But we're coming off of Investvest.
• 12:01
  Speaker 3: But you guys recently wrapped up what was different about
• 12:04
  Speaker 3: this year's invest Fest.
• 12:05
  Speaker 5: I've been to CHWO and the off course, of course,
• 12:11
  Speaker 5: and they're always.
• 12:12
  Speaker 3: Great, and you know, I tell you guys all the time,
• 12:15
  Speaker 3: how proud I am of you and what you guys do,
• 12:17
  Speaker 3: and I've seen how people get excited about your work,
• 12:22
  Speaker 3: and you know, it's not just like a podcast, it's
• 12:25
  Speaker 3: really a lifestyle.
• 12:27
  Speaker 5: But how is this year's invest Fest?
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  Speaker 1: I feel like it was the best one that we
• 12:31
  Speaker 1: had so falls the most people that we've ever had.
• 12:34
  Speaker 5: How many people was it?
• 12:36
  Speaker 1: Twenty five thousand per day? So people wise, it was
• 12:40
  Speaker 1: the biggest. It was the most programming that we ever had.
• 12:43
  Speaker 1: We started Friday early in the morning on Friday and
• 12:46
  Speaker 1: ran all the way through to Sunday night.
• 12:48
  Speaker 2: We've never done that before.
• 12:51
  Speaker 1: We've had satellite events like a comedy show with eighty
• 12:53
  Speaker 1: five South.
• 12:54
  Speaker 2: That's something that was new this year.
• 12:57
  Speaker 1: Uh and just like the impact, you know, competition was amazing,
• 13:01
  Speaker 1: two hundred and twenty fifty fifty.
• 13:04
  Speaker 2: It was given away.
• 13:07
  Speaker 1: We had panels on everything from artificial intelligence to real estate.
• 13:10
  Speaker 1: We had three stages running simultaneously for the most part. Vendors,
• 13:16
  Speaker 1: we had over four hundred vendors. The vendor marketplace was crazy.
• 13:19
  Speaker 1: Magic Johnson, he was amazing. As far as the headliner,
• 13:24
  Speaker 1: people are saying, that's probably the best headliner that that
• 13:26
  Speaker 1: we we had.
• 13:27
  Speaker 2: And then you know, of course we had you.
• 13:29
  Speaker 6: So I mean I was waiting till yeah to that part.
• 13:32
  Speaker 1: Anytime we get enjoy it's a lesson. So yeah, of
• 13:35
  Speaker 1: course the n IL panel. So yeah, I think I
• 13:38
  Speaker 1: think we hit on all cylinders.
• 13:40
  Speaker 4: I think people said that we got closer to our community,
• 13:44
  Speaker 4: and so when you can do that at that scale,
• 13:46
  Speaker 4: it really means something. Like you said, all the numbers,
• 13:48
  Speaker 4: he said, but watching the everyday person have that celebrity
• 13:54
  Speaker 4: drawing was crazy. We're watching people that you know three
• 13:57
  Speaker 4: years ago, we're doing that nine to five, and now
• 13:59
  Speaker 4: they're on a stage and four thousand people are coming
• 14:01
  Speaker 4: to see them speak. I mean, yes, Magic Johnson of course,
• 14:04
  Speaker 4: but we had Jack Dorsey there as well, a guy
• 14:06
  Speaker 4: who rarely speaks but saw the value of what we
• 14:09
  Speaker 4: were doing inside it that this is something he wanted
• 14:12
  Speaker 4: to do. The partnerships, like you said, the networking, the
• 14:17
  Speaker 4: idea of having a deal room. Right, A lot of
• 14:19
  Speaker 4: times people here all these venture capital deals that we're
• 14:22
  Speaker 4: involved in or we're talking about, and they never get
• 14:25
  Speaker 4: to be inside the rooms of when those things are
• 14:27
  Speaker 4: taking place.
• 14:27
  Speaker 6: So we created that this year for our community.
• 14:30
  Speaker 4: So a lot of business, a lot of networking, I
• 14:33
  Speaker 4: said that Invests has become like the family reunion meets
• 14:36
  Speaker 4: homecoming meets the best business conference you could ever think
• 14:40
  Speaker 4: of in a festival form.
• 14:41
  Speaker 6: So yeah, I think we nailed it this year.
• 14:44
  Speaker 3: What I love about it, and really all the events
• 14:47
  Speaker 3: that you guys do, is I feel like I get
• 14:51
  Speaker 3: sort of a front row seat to how people react
• 14:54
  Speaker 3: to you because we're friends and seeing people come up
• 14:58
  Speaker 3: and talk about like how you've inspired them, or they've
• 15:02
  Speaker 3: learned something, or they've grown their business, or they've been
• 15:05
  Speaker 3: able to expand, or they've been able to buy a
• 15:06
  Speaker 3: house or do all these different things. Just from what
• 15:10
  Speaker 3: you guys talk about and the information that you give.
• 15:13
  Speaker 5: I don't know. It just warms my little cold heart
• 15:15
  Speaker 5: because because I think, like I don't know for me, people.
• 15:19
  Speaker 3: Have all these ideas of like how I grew up
• 15:21
  Speaker 3: and what I know about and you know, the money
• 15:23
  Speaker 3: that we had, and it's you know, people don't really
• 15:25
  Speaker 3: know people's story. But I don't have any financial background.
• 15:28
  Speaker 3: My family didn't have money like Jason had money. But
• 15:31
  Speaker 3: you know, that's not exactly how it works. And I've
• 15:35
  Speaker 3: had to teach myself and learn the way that a
• 15:37
  Speaker 3: lot of people have had to learn in our community
• 15:39
  Speaker 3: about financial literacy, about debt, about credit, about home ownership,
• 15:44
  Speaker 3: of all these things. So it's something that they purposely
• 15:47
  Speaker 3: keep out of education. Like we joke all the time,
• 15:50
  Speaker 3: like why do I need to learn calculus? I don't
• 15:51
  Speaker 3: know how to balance a checkbook. But it's being at
• 15:54
  Speaker 3: investments and like having the energy. I always tell people
• 15:57
  Speaker 3: when they ask me about what it's like being there,
• 15:58
  Speaker 3: I'm like, it's specially because it's just a large group
• 16:01
  Speaker 3: of people who are trying to do better in life.
• 16:04
  Speaker 3: Like they're not trying to find a shortcut, they're trying
• 16:06
  Speaker 3: to educate themselves. They're trying to find a community, grow
• 16:10
  Speaker 3: their business, and do better in life. And that's like
• 16:12
  Speaker 3: a that's a palatable energy when.
• 16:14
  Speaker 5: You're there in the room.
• 16:15
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I feel like a lot of times people fill
• 16:16
  Speaker 4: alone in real spaces, but like you can be in
• 16:18
  Speaker 4: a silo thing and like I want to do better.
• 16:20
  Speaker 4: I want to do better and there's no commonplace where
• 16:23
  Speaker 4: it's's like minded people.
• 16:24
  Speaker 6: And that's what Investvaz really has become, right.
• 16:27
  Speaker 3: And it's like learning another language, for sure. It's it's
• 16:31
  Speaker 3: like learning another language. If you didn't grow up around money,
• 16:34
  Speaker 3: or even if you did grow up around money and
• 16:36
  Speaker 3: you had people that were irresponsible with money or didn't
• 16:39
  Speaker 3: have a good relationship with money or understand wealth or
• 16:42
  Speaker 3: like you have to learn all of that and not
• 16:44
  Speaker 3: just from like a math perspective, like what it actually
• 16:47
  Speaker 3: what these terms actually mean, how do you apply them?
• 16:50
  Speaker 3: And if you're trying to be an entrepreneur, I mean,
• 16:52
  Speaker 3: any entrepreneur will tell you you're going to fail a
• 16:54
  Speaker 3: bunch of times, you make a bunch of mistakes, You're
• 16:56
  Speaker 3: gonna spend money on stuff you weren't supposed to spend
• 16:57
  Speaker 3: it on.
• 16:58
  Speaker 5: That's part of the journey.
• 16:59
  Speaker 3: But if you're actually trying to you know, build wealth,
• 17:02
  Speaker 3: you have to learn that language.
• 17:05
  Speaker 1: Percent and it's something that like, like you said, there's
• 17:08
  Speaker 1: no real school for that. A lot of times, even
• 17:10
  Speaker 1: if you go to business school, like that's not you know,
• 17:12
  Speaker 1: every day entrepreneurship or investing. So the things that they
• 17:15
  Speaker 1: teach you as far as like supplying demand charge stuff
• 17:17
  Speaker 1: like that, like that's not something that you might be
• 17:19
  Speaker 1: using as an entrepreneur. That's you know, getting started online
• 17:23
  Speaker 1: or you know, somebody that has a podcast, or somebody
• 17:25
  Speaker 1: that wants to trade stocks, somebody that's mine in real estate.
• 17:27
  Speaker 1: So you get to learn from people that's actually doing
• 17:29
  Speaker 1: it in real time. That's the best form of education.
• 17:31
  Speaker 1: It's like learning like a form of mentorship. Really, Like
• 17:34
  Speaker 1: you know, there's really no way to duplicate that. You
• 17:37
  Speaker 1: can't you can't go to any university and duplicate the
• 17:40
  Speaker 1: success of somebody that's actually done it. They have to
• 17:43
  Speaker 1: actually be able to share their real life experiences with you.
• 17:46
  Speaker 1: So I think that that's that's a major part of
• 17:48
  Speaker 1: it as well.
• 17:49
  Speaker 4: The thing you just describe is literally my story, right,
• 17:52
  Speaker 4: Like I don't come from a financial background. My parents
• 17:55
  Speaker 4: didn't really come from a financial background, so I had
• 17:57
  Speaker 4: to teach myself this foreign language. I think the beauty
• 18:00
  Speaker 4: of this moment is that just being an educator, as
• 18:03
  Speaker 4: I'm learning, I get to teach and people are learning
• 18:06
  Speaker 4: along the way, and then they're going and teaching people
• 18:08
  Speaker 4: from the things that they heard, which is completely different
• 18:10
  Speaker 4: from when we grew up, right, Like, this wasn't in
• 18:12
  Speaker 4: your school curriculum. You didn't talk about this in the barbershop.
• 18:15
  Speaker 4: If you knew somebody, it was kind of like he
• 18:17
  Speaker 4: knows what he's talking about, but I don't really trust him.
• 18:19
  Speaker 6: Because you know what I mean.
• 18:21
  Speaker 4: And now it's like you used to put money in banks, right,
• 18:25
  Speaker 4: I mean we could go there. I mean it was
• 18:26
  Speaker 4: the mattress, it was the shoe box.
• 18:28
  Speaker 5: It's like if you put your money in a bank,
• 18:30
  Speaker 5: you were a sucker.
• 18:31
  Speaker 6: The person who had the account.
• 18:33
  Speaker 4: But now when we realize the education behind it, that's
• 18:37
  Speaker 4: the commonplace now, right, Like people are talking about brokerage accounts,
• 18:40
  Speaker 4: and when those people walk up to us, it's not
• 18:42
  Speaker 4: like it's scripted.
• 18:43
  Speaker 6: They really mean that, Like they have more money than they've.
• 18:45
  Speaker 4: Ever seen in their lives, right, and it feels almost
• 18:49
  Speaker 4: not real at first until they realize, wait, I can
• 18:52
  Speaker 4: keep doing this.
• 18:52
  Speaker 6: I can keep doing this.
• 18:53
  Speaker 4: So that Value Exchange always says there, which is why
• 18:56
  Speaker 4: they come back and support every time.
• 18:58
  Speaker 3: What's the worst advice that you guys are seeing on
• 19:00
  Speaker 3: the internet right now? It's the worst financial advice that's
• 19:03
  Speaker 3: getting circulated, worst advices or just like something that you've
• 19:09
  Speaker 3: seen recently, You're like, no, that's not it.
• 19:15
  Speaker 4: The stock market is the biggest gamble you can make.
• 19:20
  Speaker 4: I see that a lot, and it's always interesting to
• 19:22
  Speaker 4: me when I'm watching people go on prize picks and
• 19:27
  Speaker 4: people I.
• 19:28
  Speaker 5: Can think of a lot.
• 19:30
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean that, you know, you got to think
• 19:34
  Speaker 4: about when you're not educated in the space and you
• 19:37
  Speaker 4: don't know anything about it, it feels like that. It
• 19:39
  Speaker 4: feels like if I put my money, then I lose it.
• 19:41
  Speaker 4: That's a gamble, because that's what we know, right. If
• 19:44
  Speaker 4: we make a bet and we lose, that's a gamble.
• 19:46
  Speaker 4: And then you realize how the wealthiest people in the
• 19:48
  Speaker 4: world became wealthy and remain wealthy and increase their wealth.
• 19:52
  Speaker 4: It's creating a business, having people own shares in that business,
• 19:57
  Speaker 4: and watching that business grow over time, having publicly tra
• 20:01
  Speaker 4: and that's all in the United States stock market, and
• 20:04
  Speaker 4: so you hear that and it's like, all right, well
• 20:06
  Speaker 4: there's still more work to do. We didn't get through
• 20:08
  Speaker 4: to them yet, so we just got to keep going.
• 20:11
  Speaker 3: I feel like we're in really I mean, we are
• 20:14
  Speaker 3: in really like uncertain times and you go online and
• 20:17
  Speaker 3: it's just doom everywhere, and I think it's fair like
• 20:22
  Speaker 3: people are scared. I'm a little scared. I don't know
• 20:26
  Speaker 3: what the future holds. You know, the political space is insane,
• 20:31
  Speaker 3: it's very unpredictable, and when it comes to preparing for
• 20:34
  Speaker 3: the future, at least for me. Sometimes I'm like, h like,
• 20:37
  Speaker 3: are we going to be here in five years? It
• 20:40
  Speaker 3: just feels like the world's ending. And I try not
• 20:43
  Speaker 3: to be like that because I'm sure every.
• 20:44
  Speaker 5: Generation has had those moments.
• 20:46
  Speaker 3: Like I talked to my mom who grew up in
• 20:48
  Speaker 3: the sixties about what's happening now, and she, you know,
• 20:51
  Speaker 3: she is complaining about the political space, but she's like,
• 20:54
  Speaker 3: you also got to understand what we went through. We
• 20:57
  Speaker 3: definitely thought the world was ending, like we shit, you
• 21:00
  Speaker 3: guys can't even imagine, Like the president got shotin Luther
• 21:04
  Speaker 3: King Junior got shot. People were getting shot all the time,
• 21:08
  Speaker 3: like it was, there was no rights, it was, it was.
• 21:11
  Speaker 5: A whole different world.
• 21:13
  Speaker 3: But when it comes to preparing for the future, it
• 21:15
  Speaker 3: can feel like a little bit not of a waste
• 21:17
  Speaker 3: of time, but it's like it's so unpredictable.
• 21:20
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I feel like, you know, it's one of these
• 21:23
  Speaker 1: things you can't really put too much thought into it,
• 21:26
  Speaker 1: but you gotta put a lot of thought into it,
• 21:27
  Speaker 1: because if you put too much thought into it, then
• 21:28
  Speaker 1: it can become depressing. And yeah, you can kind of,
• 21:31
  Speaker 1: you know, really just go down that rabbit hole of fear.
• 21:36
  Speaker 1: And uncertainty, and you know that that caused a lot
• 21:39
  Speaker 1: of anxiety. So you can't you have to live in
• 21:42
  Speaker 1: the moment, but then you have to plan for the
• 21:44
  Speaker 1: future as well. That's important. You can't be one of
• 21:46
  Speaker 1: these people that's just like disregard the future. So I
• 21:48
  Speaker 1: think it's a balance. Like, you know, I feel like
• 21:50
  Speaker 1: now we have a lot of mental health issues because
• 21:53
  Speaker 1: people are have more access than they ever had before,
• 21:56
  Speaker 1: and you know, you get stuff thrown at you twenty
• 21:58
  Speaker 1: four holes a day, whether it's or Instagram, whether it's
• 22:01
  Speaker 1: going outside and everything, so you know, you kind of
• 22:04
  Speaker 1: have to walk both sides of the street almost like
• 22:07
  Speaker 1: you can't be oblivious to what's going on. You have
• 22:10
  Speaker 1: to kind of look to see what's happening. But I
• 22:12
  Speaker 1: don't think you can live in that because if you
• 22:14
  Speaker 1: live in that, then you can literally consume your whole life,
• 22:18
  Speaker 1: which is thinking about possibilities that could potentially happen, or
• 22:22
  Speaker 1: robot's going to take over the world and when the
• 22:24
  Speaker 1: alien's come.
• 22:24
  Speaker 6: In and shuggling that.
• 22:26
  Speaker 2: Yeah, got to you.
• 22:28
  Speaker 1: Gotta be in the moment looking at the future, but
• 22:30
  Speaker 1: not you know, not too much in either space.
• 22:34
  Speaker 4: It's like insurance that in that sense where it's like,
• 22:37
  Speaker 4: in case it happens, right, we're gonna live in this moment,
• 22:40
  Speaker 4: but preparing in the event something happens, and so you
• 22:44
  Speaker 4: treat it like that, right, Like you make sure that
• 22:47
  Speaker 4: you're paying attention to the way things are moving, with
• 22:49
  Speaker 4: the way the market's moving, the way the economy is moving,
• 22:51
  Speaker 4: the way the labor market we were talking about that last night,
• 22:53
  Speaker 4: that's moving. All those things are going to play a
• 22:55
  Speaker 4: major part in the future. What can we do right now? So,
• 22:58
  Speaker 4: I mean it's the bounce.
• 23:00
  Speaker 3: Like you said, what's your your personal anxiety right now.
• 23:05
  Speaker 2: About like in future?
• 23:07
  Speaker 1: Yeah, not not really so much anxiety.
• 23:11
  Speaker 2: It's just a matter.
• 23:12
  Speaker 5: Of just you know, there's nothing that keeps you up
• 23:16
  Speaker 5: at night.
• 23:18
  Speaker 1: I mean it's just stuff that just happens throughout the
• 23:20
  Speaker 1: course of the day, Like you know, I'm building a home,
• 23:22
  Speaker 1: so that I got to deal with that all the time,
• 23:24
  Speaker 1: or you know, just thinking about different things like that.
• 23:26
  Speaker 1: But I don't really have too much anxiety for the
• 23:28
  Speaker 1: most part. It's just you know, just thinking about like, Okay,
• 23:32
  Speaker 1: what's going to happen in the future, not really too much,
• 23:34
  Speaker 1: Like I'm not anxict. I feel like anxiety is something
• 23:36
  Speaker 1: that you're concerned, extremely concerned, nervous about, Like I don't
• 23:40
  Speaker 1: really get too nervous about like most things. It's just
• 23:44
  Speaker 1: thinking about different things.
• 23:47
  Speaker 2: You know.
• 23:47
  Speaker 6: Something we always.
• 23:51
  Speaker 3: Have conversations about about mental health, and I think we
• 23:54
  Speaker 3: have some differing opinions.
• 23:57
  Speaker 5: On it, what regards well. I mean, you know, how
• 24:03
  Speaker 5: do you feel about therapy.
• 24:05
  Speaker 2: I feel like it's helpful. It's beneficial.
• 24:06
  Speaker 1: I feel like, why you laugh, I feel like it
• 24:11
  Speaker 1: could be helpful. I feel like everybody has to walk
• 24:13
  Speaker 1: their own path, like you know what I mean. So yeah,
• 24:15
  Speaker 1: definitely there's different degrees of it as far as mental
• 24:19
  Speaker 1: health spectrum is concerned. I feel like some people need
• 24:22
  Speaker 1: therapy for sure. Some people can be their own therapists,
• 24:27
  Speaker 1: like communicate with themselves or communicate with different people and
• 24:30
  Speaker 1: work out their problems that way. Some people might even
• 24:34
  Speaker 1: need more intense forms of therapy.
• 24:38
  Speaker 2: Some people need medication.
• 24:39
  Speaker 1: So I feel like we try to put everybody in
• 24:43
  Speaker 1: the same box and it's like, Okay, go to therapy.
• 24:46
  Speaker 1: Some people the therapy is not enough. Some people don't
• 24:49
  Speaker 1: need therapy. So everybody needs to express themselves. Sometimes you
• 24:55
  Speaker 1: can express yourself to your friends sometimes you can express
• 24:57
  Speaker 1: yourself to yourself, like you can have conversations with yourself
• 25:01
  Speaker 1: right like and kind of work out workout problems internally.
• 25:04
  Speaker 5: Do you guys talk to yourself. I talk to myself
• 25:06
  Speaker 5: all day. I have to actually check myself because.
• 25:09
  Speaker 3: Sometimes I will be talking to myself and I'm like,
• 25:11
  Speaker 3: oh shit, like there's other people in this room.
• 25:14
  Speaker 6: It's like out loud.
• 25:16
  Speaker 5: Nah, I need to though, Yeah, that's cool.
• 25:19
  Speaker 6: I'm not knocking.
• 25:20
  Speaker 1: I don't really talk to myself as far as having
• 25:22
  Speaker 1: a conversation, but I talk to myself internally, like I
• 25:25
  Speaker 1: feel like talking to yourself is deliberating problems going.
• 25:28
  Speaker 3: Through something I got to plan out, like especially if
• 25:30
  Speaker 3: there's a confrontation, you know what I mean, because I
• 25:32
  Speaker 3: don't want to go to jail. So I like, I'm okay,
• 25:34
  Speaker 3: Like they might say this, yeah, what you're gonna do?
• 25:36
  Speaker 2: That's fair?
• 25:37
  Speaker 6: Yes, yes, yes, yes, of course.
• 25:39
  Speaker 2: That's a form of talking to yourself.
• 25:41
  Speaker 4: I'm not shy about she's saying out loud though, like
• 25:44
  Speaker 4: you're not doing out loud like.
• 25:45
  Speaker 1: No, no, no, I'm not not having full blown conversation
• 25:48
  Speaker 1: with myself, Troy.
• 25:49
  Speaker 5: Why did you do this?
• 25:52
  Speaker 6: No?
• 25:52
  Speaker 5: I play both characters.
• 25:53
  Speaker 6: Okay, yeah, okay, that's different.
• 25:56
  Speaker 2: That's important.
• 25:58
  Speaker 6: No judgment, no judgment, No judge you on mental health.
• 26:01
  Speaker 3: Well, I think that it's you know, it's a it's
• 26:04
  Speaker 3: a spicy topic still.
• 26:05
  Speaker 5: In the in the community.
• 26:06
  Speaker 3: I think it's something you know, growing up, mental health
• 26:09
  Speaker 3: obviously was not a conversation that most any of us had.
• 26:13
  Speaker 5: It was it was something we acknowledge.
• 26:15
  Speaker 3: I think that even calling it mental health still gives
• 26:18
  Speaker 3: it an unnecessary stigma.
• 26:21
  Speaker 5: We don't have these conversations about mental health.
• 26:27
  Speaker 3: If you have a toothache and you're sitting here, complains
• 26:30
  Speaker 3: to me about this toothache, I'm gonna be like, so
• 26:32
  Speaker 3: a dentist, like this solution is to go to someone
• 26:35
  Speaker 3: that is an expert in this field that can help you,
• 26:37
  Speaker 3: Like I can give you a suggestion, but I'm not.
• 26:40
  Speaker 3: It's not really my line of work. You know, even
• 26:42
  Speaker 3: if I had a similar experience, it could be something
• 26:44
  Speaker 3: totally different. We treat mental health, and I understand that
• 26:48
  Speaker 3: there's a lot more nuanced to it than you know, Hey,
• 26:50
  Speaker 3: you have a cavity, and here's the solve for that.
• 26:54
  Speaker 5: Mental health is you know, it's attached.
• 26:56
  Speaker 1: To your most Also, it's something that you're not as shamed,
• 26:58
  Speaker 1: Like if you have a tooth, it's not something to
• 27:01
  Speaker 1: be ashamed of, to have a toothfake.
• 27:03
  Speaker 3: But it's we've only we have created the idea that
• 27:06
  Speaker 3: there should be shame attached to you.
• 27:08
  Speaker 1: No, no, but I just think, not even just we, I
• 27:10
  Speaker 1: think as an individual person. Right Like, if I have
• 27:13
  Speaker 1: high blood pressure, I don't have a problem going to
• 27:15
  Speaker 1: the doctor, say I have high blood pressure. I might
• 27:17
  Speaker 1: comply with what he tells me to do. I might
• 27:18
  Speaker 1: not imply what tells me do. But if I'm depressed,
• 27:21
  Speaker 1: I'm not.
• 27:22
  Speaker 2: I'm not.
• 27:23
  Speaker 1: I don't feel good about myself anyway. That's why I'm depressed,
• 27:26
  Speaker 1: So I don't feel good about I'm not. I'm trying
• 27:28
  Speaker 1: to convince myself that I'm not depressed. Or if I
• 27:30
  Speaker 1: have even more severe mental illnesses, right like, you don't
• 27:35
  Speaker 1: even know if you have bipolar, if you schizophrenic. It's
• 27:40
  Speaker 1: a little complicated because it's like you a lot of
• 27:43
  Speaker 1: times you can't even identify that you have something wrong
• 27:46
  Speaker 1: with you, and if you do, you don't you don't
• 27:48
  Speaker 1: want to admit that you have an issue because there's
• 27:52
  Speaker 1: so much stigma from the outside. But also internally as well,
• 27:54
  Speaker 1: Like nobody wants to say like they have some level
• 27:56
  Speaker 1: of chemical imbalance or something that's not working properly inside.
• 28:00
  Speaker 2: I'm like, you know what I mean?
• 28:00
  Speaker 1: Like that, I think is the difference between every other
• 28:04
  Speaker 1: form of illness, sickness and mental illness.
• 28:08
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I agree, but I think that that is that's
• 28:10
  Speaker 3: a societal thing that we because it's an exhibited, exhibited behavior.
• 28:15
  Speaker 3: If you can see physically see that someone is sick,
• 28:18
  Speaker 3: we tend to treat people differently when we see that
• 28:20
  Speaker 3: they have an ailments or we can see that they
• 28:22
  Speaker 3: have a you know, boil on their head or something,
• 28:24
  Speaker 3: We're like, hey, you're sick. You can't necessarily see a
• 28:28
  Speaker 3: mental illness, but if you behave in a certain way,
• 28:30
  Speaker 3: then it affects other people. I guess, just for me,
• 28:33
  Speaker 3: I think that we stigmatize it by putting it into
• 28:36
  Speaker 3: a category of an option. Your your emotions and your
• 28:39
  Speaker 3: brain control everything that you do. They control your ability
• 28:44
  Speaker 3: to function. So to me, I just look at it
• 28:47
  Speaker 3: as another doctor's appointment, Like if I'm going to the gynecologists,
• 28:51
  Speaker 3: so if I'm going to the dentist, if I'm going
• 28:53
  Speaker 3: to the you know, eye doctor, whatever, mental health should
• 28:56
  Speaker 3: also be in whatever form it is that you need,
• 28:59
  Speaker 3: whether it is therapy, whether it's meditation, whether you know, whether.
• 29:03
  Speaker 2: How can you get help for something that you don't
• 29:05
  Speaker 2: know you need help for?
• 29:06
  Speaker 3: Well, because in my opinion, everybody, everyone has emotions, everyone
• 29:09
  Speaker 3: has some form of trauma, Everyone has things that they're
• 29:13
  Speaker 3: dealing with in their life. We may not think that
• 29:15
  Speaker 3: it's elevated to the point that you need help, but
• 29:18
  Speaker 3: it's maintenance. And if you look at it as maintenance,
• 29:21
  Speaker 3: then you may not ever get to the point where
• 29:23
  Speaker 3: you need actual, you know, trauma therapy or something like that.
• 29:26
  Speaker 3: But because we don't treat going to the dentist as
• 29:29
  Speaker 3: an option, we don't treat going.
• 29:31
  Speaker 2: I think everybody needs to have to speak to a darpist.
• 29:35
  Speaker 3: I think everybody needs to have a mental health regiment. Yes,
• 29:38
  Speaker 3: because everybody has emotions and everyone has.
• 29:41
  Speaker 4: That's why I was going it feels like I hear
• 29:43
  Speaker 4: what you're saying. It's like pro therapy. I just want
• 29:45
  Speaker 4: to let you both know that if y'all ever need
• 29:46
  Speaker 4: to close someone like, I'm open to talk.
• 29:50
  Speaker 6: I love y'all both.
• 29:51
  Speaker 5: I love you too, Thank you. You can call me too.
• 29:55
  Speaker 3: But I don't know that I'm ever going to give
• 29:57
  Speaker 3: putty good. That's all Please call professional.
• 30:01
  Speaker 4: But I mean it's an interesting time even to have
• 30:03
  Speaker 4: this conversation and the way you're looking at it, fifteen
• 30:07
  Speaker 4: ten years ago, our community didn't look at it like that.
• 30:10
  Speaker 4: I think the more that we're open about that, even
• 30:12
  Speaker 4: like even in my family, like having those conversations like
• 30:15
  Speaker 4: what does therapy look like? Not for just me, but
• 30:18
  Speaker 4: like even my kids who have gone through a pandemic
• 30:22
  Speaker 4: and now have to figure out what life looks like
• 30:25
  Speaker 4: post pandemic. Dealing with adolescents, that becomes a conversation because
• 30:29
  Speaker 4: it was like in your school, so you got the
• 30:31
  Speaker 4: guidance counselor, but how often do you go see the
• 30:34
  Speaker 4: guidance counselor?
• 30:35
  Speaker 6: Right, So even having those type of.
• 30:37
  Speaker 3: Talks, counselor was like the highest form of therapy you've
• 30:40
  Speaker 3: got as a kid.
• 30:42
  Speaker 2: It was free.
• 30:43
  Speaker 4: Yeah, Like that's as far as so the guy's counselor
• 30:47
  Speaker 4: now would be the therapist in the real world.
• 30:50
  Speaker 3: What do you think about that's interesting you bring up
• 30:53
  Speaker 3: kids and therapy. What do you think about the statement
• 30:55
  Speaker 3: that kids are resilient because I just adamantly disagree with it.
• 31:02
  Speaker 5: Well, because you know, they like.
• 31:05
  Speaker 3: The conversation about you know, everything that kids just went
• 31:08
  Speaker 3: through with you know, COVID babies and going through school
• 31:11
  Speaker 3: during COVID, and really anything that kids go through, whether
• 31:14
  Speaker 3: it's a divorce or you know, anything traumatic at all
• 31:17
  Speaker 3: that children go through. I have this conversation a lot
• 31:20
  Speaker 3: because I don't have children, and I feel so strongly
• 31:23
  Speaker 3: that the statement that kids are resilient is a is
• 31:26
  Speaker 3: a pass for adults to to just give themselves a
• 31:31
  Speaker 3: pass for the trauma that they are bestowing upon children.
• 31:34
  Speaker 5: I don't think that you traumas or whatever.
• 31:36
  Speaker 3: Like I don't think kids are resilient because I was
• 31:39
  Speaker 3: a kid and I lived, but now I'm a fucked
• 31:43
  Speaker 3: up adult, so like no, I was not resilient.
• 31:46
  Speaker 5: I didn't I didn't die. But like no, I.
• 31:50
  Speaker 3: Think I think I think we as adults we scape
• 31:53
  Speaker 3: goat kids because they don't have the language to express
• 31:55
  Speaker 3: themselves okay, that they are okay with what's happening. And
• 32:00
  Speaker 3: I just I disagree with that because I know adults
• 32:03
  Speaker 3: and we all have traumas or things from our childhood
• 32:06
  Speaker 3: that were unresolved and it was probably another adult like eh,
• 32:09
  Speaker 3: they'll be all right because they're not crying, because they're
• 32:11
  Speaker 3: not acting out, because they're not exhibiting some sort of
• 32:13
  Speaker 3: extra behavior.
• 32:14
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it definitely plays a part as far as resiliency
• 32:19
  Speaker 1: has made different forms. You could be resilient, as far
• 32:21
  Speaker 1: as not dying. That's a form of resilient. You're not
• 32:24
  Speaker 1: going to completely collapse, like you still survive in the world.
• 32:27
  Speaker 1: But it's definitely played a major impact. And why did
• 32:31
  Speaker 1: somebody become who they are in life?
• 32:33
  Speaker 2: Right?
• 32:33
  Speaker 1: Like you see somebody's like why did somebody make life
• 32:36
  Speaker 1: decisions that they made? Well that a lot of times
• 32:38
  Speaker 1: attracts back to who they were as a child, and
• 32:40
  Speaker 1: that they had so resilient. Yes, in one regard, everybody's
• 32:45
  Speaker 1: resilient because if you know, if we wasn't, then we
• 32:48
  Speaker 1: would just die as soon as something happens to us.
• 32:50
  Speaker 1: So everybody's resilient, but also everybody has it gets impacted
• 32:56
  Speaker 1: positively or negatively by everything that happens in our lives.
• 32:59
  Speaker 1: That's just like something that's like a butterfly effect.
• 33:02
  Speaker 2: You know.
• 33:03
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I would say the things that you just said
• 33:05
  Speaker 4: would make you resilient because even with the traumas, even
• 33:10
  Speaker 4: with the pitfalls, you survived it, So you built up
• 33:13
  Speaker 4: a mechanism, whether internally or do to cope, to manage,
• 33:18
  Speaker 4: and to continue to go on. Right, So like, in
• 33:21
  Speaker 4: that sense, yes, it's resilience. I would say that kids
• 33:23
  Speaker 4: are resilient because even now, like the environment that they're
• 33:27
  Speaker 4: growing up in is very different than us, The level
• 33:31
  Speaker 4: of access they have is very different than us. The
• 33:35
  Speaker 4: distractions are a lot higher than what we grew up in,
• 33:39
  Speaker 4: and they're still managing.
• 33:41
  Speaker 6: I'm interested in seeing where they go. So like when
• 33:42
  Speaker 6: you ask what keeps you up at night? I guess this.
• 33:47
  Speaker 4: I don't even know what the jen Alpha pop generation.
• 33:50
  Speaker 4: I'm like, what after gen Z?
• 33:52
  Speaker 2: Yeah?
• 33:53
  Speaker 4: Yeah, what what is the world going to look like
• 33:54
  Speaker 4: for them in ten years? When it is, Hey, I
• 33:57
  Speaker 4: went to school, but there's no job for me when
• 33:59
  Speaker 4: I came out right like, or I have to invest
• 34:02
  Speaker 4: and I don't have money, Like, what does that look like?
• 34:03
  Speaker 6: It doesn't keep me up on that.
• 34:05
  Speaker 4: But those are the things I think about, not really
• 34:06
  Speaker 4: from a personal standpoint. So I go back to resilience. Yes,
• 34:10
  Speaker 4: I think kid's resilient. I think you're resilient. See got
• 34:13
  Speaker 4: you here?
• 34:14
  Speaker 5: But are kids innocent or are they resilient.
• 34:17
  Speaker 2: Innocent as far as what do you mean by innocent?
• 34:19
  Speaker 3: Like I think of like children as innocence, right Like,
• 34:24
  Speaker 3: well you know who goo gets the lipped women and children?
• 34:26
  Speaker 3: Right like, we were supposed to protect children. Yes, they're innocent.
• 34:30
  Speaker 3: So if they're innocent, how are they also so resilient
• 34:34
  Speaker 3: to like not be impacted by adults behavior?
• 34:37
  Speaker 1: Well, you definitely get impact. You could be innocent and
• 34:39
  Speaker 1: still be impacted. But at some point you lose your
• 34:41
  Speaker 1: innocence too. So you can lose your innocence at ten
• 34:45
  Speaker 1: years old, You could lose your innocence at eight years old.
• 34:47
  Speaker 1: You can lose your innocence at eighteen years old. So
• 34:50
  Speaker 1: at some point in time, you're going to have some
• 34:53
  Speaker 1: level of things that start to happen to you that
• 34:57
  Speaker 1: you're you're gonna be putting to the world. That's different. So,
• 35:02
  Speaker 1: like I said, a kid could be twelve years old
• 35:05
  Speaker 1: and be a killer. Really like to be honest with you,
• 35:09
  Speaker 1: So is he innocent?
• 35:10
  Speaker 2: No? Is he a child? Yes, but he's been exposed.
• 35:14
  Speaker 1: To things that changed his reality and made him, you know,
• 35:18
  Speaker 1: a different person at a very young age. So I
• 35:22
  Speaker 1: feel like children are born. Some people say children are
• 35:26
  Speaker 1: born in the sin, don't. I don't believe that. I
• 35:28
  Speaker 1: think children are born in the perfect form. The world
• 35:33
  Speaker 1: makes them sinful. What they're exposed to makes them simple.
• 35:37
  Speaker 1: But that takes time. It doesn't happen as soon as
• 35:39
  Speaker 1: you're born, Like as soon as you're born, you're not
• 35:41
  Speaker 1: a sinful person.
• 35:42
  Speaker 2: Right, that doesn't even make sense. But over the course
• 35:47
  Speaker 2: of the.
• 35:50
  Speaker 1: We live in a world as negative for the most part. Right,
• 35:53
  Speaker 1: the world is negative for the most part. So everything
• 35:55
  Speaker 1: that we get exposed to that plays a part in corruption,
• 36:00
  Speaker 1: and it corrupts is it corrupts the mind and the spirit.
• 36:04
  Speaker 4: Over the court, we all eighties babies, right, So you
• 36:06
  Speaker 4: just imagine how many families, young men, young women, innocent kids.
• 36:11
  Speaker 4: Father gets ripped out the home, mam is. They have
• 36:14
  Speaker 4: to build up a resiliency. Right, There wasn't innocence, but
• 36:17
  Speaker 4: life happened, something happened, something traumatic happened. They had to
• 36:20
  Speaker 4: build up resiliency. That resiliency shaped whore they were. Could
• 36:23
  Speaker 4: they be fed up adults because of that trauma?
• 36:26
  Speaker 2: Sure?
• 36:26
  Speaker 4: But I think the piece that you're saying is like,
• 36:29
  Speaker 4: what's the outlet? Who do we talk to? When do
• 36:31
  Speaker 4: we talk? That helps with that, why do.
• 36:33
  Speaker 2: You say you are fed up adult?
• 36:36
  Speaker 5: I mean, I'm I'm a pretty fuck up adult.
• 36:38
  Speaker 2: Yeah, Like what in what way?
• 36:39
  Speaker 6: By whose standards?
• 36:41
  Speaker 3: I mean, listen, I'm functioning, you know, but like like
• 36:45
  Speaker 3: I pay my bills, I don't. I'm very hard on myself,
• 36:49
  Speaker 3: as you know. But I think I'm extremely traumatized. I
• 36:53
  Speaker 3: have PTSD for sure.
• 36:56
  Speaker 2: PTSD from what from.
• 36:59
  Speaker 3: I mean year and years of abuse and relationship and
• 37:02
  Speaker 3: trauma not not not just relationships. I mean I grew
• 37:05
  Speaker 3: up in an abusive home. Yeah, I think I think
• 37:10
  Speaker 3: your environment, you're you have no choice but to be
• 37:13
  Speaker 3: shaped by your environment, right, Like that affects everything that
• 37:15
  Speaker 3: we do. It affects our relationship with money, It affects
• 37:18
  Speaker 3: our relationships with other humans, it affects our relationships with
• 37:21
  Speaker 3: our families. I think that in our in our community,
• 37:25
  Speaker 3: there's so many generational traumas that are that are passed
• 37:29
  Speaker 3: down that we all acknowledge, and they affect everything that
• 37:33
  Speaker 3: we do and in so many ways, like avoidance plays
• 37:37
  Speaker 3: a role in our ability to heal ourselves.
• 37:43
  Speaker 5: So I just I'm not denying.
• 37:45
  Speaker 6: So that the avoidance is the coping mechanism.
• 37:48
  Speaker 3: I mean, my my family's generational traumas avoidance.
• 37:51
  Speaker 6: For sure.
• 37:51
  Speaker 3: We just are just like, that's not happening, literally happening,
• 37:55
  Speaker 3: and there's going to be consequences to this.
• 37:58
  Speaker 5: So I just like I just am acknowledging that now.
• 38:01
  Speaker 4: That that's like every like, every time you add to
• 38:04
  Speaker 4: the story, I just feel like you're the pulls a
• 38:06
  Speaker 4: child for resilience.
• 38:08
  Speaker 5: I thank you.
• 38:08
  Speaker 3: I want to not be God's strongest soldier. I would
• 38:11
  Speaker 3: like to pass that mantle to someone else.
• 38:13
  Speaker 5: I want to, you know, I want to live a soft,
• 38:15
  Speaker 5: the soft life from now on.
• 38:18
  Speaker 3: Okay, so let's let's let's piv a little bit because
• 38:20
  Speaker 3: everyoneants to talk about relationships and that's what always gets
• 38:22
  Speaker 3: a shot in trouble. So I want to ask you
• 38:28
  Speaker 3: about prenups. What what do you think about prenups? I
• 38:32
  Speaker 3: personally think that prenups are like there was nowhere I
• 38:35
  Speaker 3: would not have a prenup if I got buried again.
• 38:39
  Speaker 2: I think it's a smart decision.
• 38:40
  Speaker 5: As far as do you think everyone should have a prenup.
• 38:43
  Speaker 2: Anybody could do what they want. I can't miss.
• 38:45
  Speaker 5: That's not what I asked you.
• 38:46
  Speaker 1: I think I think it's advisable for everybody to have
• 38:50
  Speaker 1: a prenup. It's insurance. Like I look at it, like
• 38:52
  Speaker 1: everybody should have life insurance. Everybody has to have car insurance,
• 38:55
  Speaker 1: everybody has to have homeowners insurance. Everybody has to have
• 38:57
  Speaker 1: flood insurance. Why not because you think house is going
• 39:00
  Speaker 1: to burn down, But in the event that it does happen,
• 39:03
  Speaker 1: you're prepared. So why would you have insurance on every
• 39:06
  Speaker 1: aspect of your life? But the most important thing that
• 39:08
  Speaker 1: you put all of your eggs into, which is a marriage.
• 39:11
  Speaker 2: You don't have insurance on that.
• 39:12
  Speaker 1: Like, just from a rational thinking standpoint, right, that doesn't
• 39:17
  Speaker 1: make sense to me.
• 39:18
  Speaker 5: It's not romantic.
• 39:21
  Speaker 4: Yeah, the stigma that's been put on it makes it
• 39:23
  Speaker 4: feel like it isn't. But what he's saying is true.
• 39:25
  Speaker 4: Like I'm married and I don't have a prenup. But
• 39:27
  Speaker 4: I wasn't even educated on what a premum was. Nobody
• 39:30
  Speaker 4: around me had one. I didn't, my parents didn't have one.
• 39:32
  Speaker 4: I never knew what it was. But if you put
• 39:35
  Speaker 4: a stigma on it, like oh, wait, you got a prenup,
• 39:38
  Speaker 4: it feels.
• 39:39
  Speaker 6: Like it's why did you do that? Oh you don't
• 39:41
  Speaker 6: trust that person?
• 39:42
  Speaker 4: Like no, this is actually a responsible conversation a mature conversation,
• 39:47
  Speaker 4: a financial conversation that I feel like people at that
• 39:51
  Speaker 4: level should have, especially if you got things, assets that
• 39:53
  Speaker 4: you came to the table with, assets that she came
• 39:55
  Speaker 4: to the table with. Yeah, we probably should have this conversation.
• 39:58
  Speaker 4: This is actually, like I love, this is what I
• 40:00
  Speaker 4: want to have, this conversation.
• 40:02
  Speaker 5: I mean, I'm being sarcasic and I say it's not romantic.
• 40:05
  Speaker 5: I actually think that.
• 40:06
  Speaker 3: And you know you're married, So I think that marriage
• 40:10
  Speaker 3: is the most important partnership that you will ever enter
• 40:15
  Speaker 3: in your life, and hard conversations are essential to it
• 40:20
  Speaker 3: being successful. So if you don't have hard conversations before
• 40:24
  Speaker 3: you get married, how are you going to have hard
• 40:26
  Speaker 3: conversations when you are married. Finances, what you do with
• 40:30
  Speaker 3: your assets, where you live, what school your kids go to,
• 40:36
  Speaker 3: what you spend money on when it comes to vacation
• 40:38
  Speaker 3: or leisure. All of those things are going to be
• 40:41
  Speaker 3: a conversation when you're married. So why you should absolutely
• 40:44
  Speaker 3: have a hard conversation about what happens if it doesn't
• 40:47
  Speaker 3: work out. It doesn't mean that you want it to
• 40:48
  Speaker 3: work out. To your point, you don't want your house
• 40:50
  Speaker 3: to burn to the ground. But in the event that
• 40:52
  Speaker 3: it does burn to the ground, you would like to
• 40:54
  Speaker 3: know you have have insurance and a plan so that
• 40:56
  Speaker 3: you are not living on the street. So, I mean,
• 41:00
  Speaker 3: I think prenups have have become a little bit more
• 41:02
  Speaker 3: of a conversation. Like back in the day, it was
• 41:03
  Speaker 3: like if you have a prenup, like he just doesn't
• 41:05
  Speaker 3: love you. Yeah, prenups is just like a flat thing,
• 41:10
  Speaker 3: Like each state has different rules for divorce, right, you
• 41:13
  Speaker 3: can put a myriad of things in prenups that cannot
• 41:16
  Speaker 3: even be enforced. It just helps and if things go badly,
• 41:20
  Speaker 3: which you cannot control other people, you have some peace
• 41:24
  Speaker 3: of mind and knowing that you know this relationship and
• 41:27
  Speaker 3: partnership that you've poured time and energy into that cannot
• 41:30
  Speaker 3: be quantified by money is protected.
• 41:34
  Speaker 6: Is it a red flag that it's a hard conversation.
• 41:39
  Speaker 3: I think it depends on the communication level that you
• 41:41
  Speaker 3: have with the person. Like communication to me is usually
• 41:45
  Speaker 3: the answer to almost all problems, like when people will
• 41:50
  Speaker 3: come and be like, oh, this is happening, even family
• 41:51
  Speaker 3: stuff like oh this person's I'm like, you just want
• 41:53
  Speaker 3: to talk to them.
• 41:53
  Speaker 5: Why are you talking to me? I'm not involved in
• 41:56
  Speaker 5: the situation.
• 41:56
  Speaker 3: Like you need to communicate, and I can admit it,
• 41:59
  Speaker 3: it's hard for me to communicate sometimes I'm not the
• 42:01
  Speaker 3: most vulnerable person, So I mean I am a vulnerable person.
• 42:06
  Speaker 3: I don't like to be vulnerable. Hence the exercise of
• 42:10
  Speaker 3: this podcast. Is this me trying to heal my past traumas?
• 42:16
  Speaker 5: Yeah, I think.
• 42:17
  Speaker 3: I think it could be a hard conversation because it
• 42:18
  Speaker 3: depends on what that person wants or isn't willing to
• 42:21
  Speaker 3: give up if you break up, like you might find
• 42:25
  Speaker 3: out something about that person through the course of that conversation.
• 42:28
  Speaker 5: That's like.
• 42:30
  Speaker 3: Refly, is it a reflag? What is your biggest red
• 42:35
  Speaker 3: flag in dating?
• 42:38
  Speaker 1: I think somebody's not If somebody's not like secure or
• 42:44
  Speaker 1: like the insecure, Oh, that would be a better word.
• 42:47
  Speaker 1: Somebody's insecure. That's a that's a red flag. Like insecurity
• 42:52
  Speaker 1: is not attractive.
• 42:55
  Speaker 5: Insecurity is the worst.
• 42:56
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I think insecurity is the worst in any like
• 43:00
  Speaker 3: any interaction.
• 43:01
  Speaker 6: Is dangerous, it's a dangerous thing.
• 43:04
  Speaker 3: Well, it just breeds this level of anxiety, which you
• 43:08
  Speaker 3: know you don't like, and it also just creates an
• 43:12
  Speaker 3: environment where everyone is on eggshells.
• 43:15
  Speaker 5: Like if you've had a if you've.
• 43:16
  Speaker 3: Worked with someone that's insecure about their work, or you
• 43:19
  Speaker 3: have a boss that's insecure about you know, how their
• 43:22
  Speaker 3: performance levels are. Like it just it's just this this
• 43:25
  Speaker 3: energy that gets passed from persons to person.
• 43:27
  Speaker 4: And it affects everything. It affects everything, and it affects
• 43:31
  Speaker 4: the people around you because they have to figure out
• 43:34
  Speaker 4: how to deal with that.
• 43:34
  Speaker 6: It's a dangerous thing.
• 43:36
  Speaker 1: Like I always say, like sometimes if you have to
• 43:37
  Speaker 1: ask the question to answer, it doesn't matter, what do
• 43:41
  Speaker 1: you mean, Like if I have to try to look
• 43:43
  Speaker 1: through your phone to see what you're doing data, whether
• 43:47
  Speaker 1: you're cheating, whether you're not cheating, it really doesn't matter.
• 43:51
  Speaker 1: I'm insecure in my relationship with you and I don't
• 43:53
  Speaker 1: trust you, So why are we in a relationship?
• 43:56
  Speaker 5: Yeah? I agree, I agree.
• 43:57
  Speaker 3: I mean, but trust is essential for any kind of partnership,
• 44:01
  Speaker 3: Like even if you have paperwork, like you guys are
• 44:05
  Speaker 3: are business partners. I'm sure you have paperwork in place,
• 44:09
  Speaker 3: but you also have to trust each other in a
• 44:12
  Speaker 3: myriad of ways that are are somewhat in some ways
• 44:14
  Speaker 3: even unspoken, like are you gonna trust that you're going
• 44:16
  Speaker 3: to show up and be on time or you know,
• 44:18
  Speaker 3: be prepared like those type of things. If you don't
• 44:21
  Speaker 3: fundamentally trust someone, it's impossible to connect with them.
• 44:27
  Speaker 6: How's that? How's that play a sales?
• 44:31
  Speaker 3: Like?
• 44:31
  Speaker 6: Are you giving trust right away or does that have
• 44:33
  Speaker 6: to be earned?
• 44:34
  Speaker 5: Oh, I'm a terrible person, asked this question too.
• 44:37
  Speaker 2: But you don't you don't need you don't need to
• 44:39
  Speaker 2: trust somebody either.
• 44:41
  Speaker 5: No, I think you have to trust people.
• 44:44
  Speaker 3: There's what is what is the book Malcolm Gladwell Talking
• 44:47
  Speaker 3: to Strangers, And it's it's about defaulting to the truth.
• 44:52
  Speaker 5: In order to move around the world, we have to
• 44:56
  Speaker 5: trust other people.
• 44:57
  Speaker 3: I trust that I'm going to get in this uber
• 45:00
  Speaker 3: and get to where I'm going. No, I have some
• 45:03
  Speaker 3: you know, I have a map in my hand. I
• 45:04
  Speaker 3: can you know, trace to see that I'm going to
• 45:07
  Speaker 3: the place I'm going to go and that Uber's not
• 45:08
  Speaker 3: going to overcharge me and all those things. But fundamentally,
• 45:12
  Speaker 3: we trust people. Someone made this coffee. Someone's going to
• 45:16
  Speaker 3: cook our food earlier at some point this week, Like
• 45:18
  Speaker 3: we're going to trust that they're not going to do
• 45:20
  Speaker 3: anything to the food. We have to trust people in
• 45:23
  Speaker 3: order to live in a functioning society. So the idea like,
• 45:27
  Speaker 3: oh I don't trust anybody, Like, yes, you do.
• 45:29
  Speaker 5: You do trust people on.
• 45:30
  Speaker 1: A certain levels, good point, certain love. There's different levels
• 45:32
  Speaker 1: of trust. But why you say you're the worst person?
• 45:34
  Speaker 5: That I answer because I don't know how.
• 45:35
  Speaker 3: I don't know what what trust is right now, like
• 45:39
  Speaker 3: trusting people, because you fundamentally have to trust people in
• 45:43
  Speaker 3: order to function. You I'm being pushed to trust constantly,
• 45:49
  Speaker 3: and it is very uncomfortable for me to trust people.
• 45:52
  Speaker 3: And I can recognize when I am pushing myself out
• 45:55
  Speaker 3: of my boundary of trust, and it like makes me
• 45:57
  Speaker 3: feel uneasy and then I have to talk myself out
• 46:00
  Speaker 3: of freaking out that I've that I've trusted this person.
• 46:05
  Speaker 3: But you know, like betrayal is is a common theme
• 46:10
  Speaker 3: around you know, big chapters of my life, and I'm
• 46:15
  Speaker 3: trying to heal from that. But also, you know, not
• 46:19
  Speaker 3: become a bitter person. And I like, I just I
• 46:22
  Speaker 3: think I just saw a lot of people who are
• 46:24
  Speaker 3: bitter around me growing up.
• 46:25
  Speaker 5: I'm sure we all.
• 46:26
  Speaker 3: Know people that just essentially just gave up and they're
• 46:29
  Speaker 3: just they just blame the world, they blame other people,
• 46:32
  Speaker 3: and they live in you know, their little hole and
• 46:37
  Speaker 3: they can't enjoy life. Because they're bitter and I'm trying
• 46:39
  Speaker 3: to fight that sensation from the Yeah, it's it's bad,
• 46:45
  Speaker 3: but it's like, right there, it's not happening.
• 46:47
  Speaker 5: It's right there, it's looking at me.
• 46:49
  Speaker 6: It's not happening. Right, this is not happening.
• 46:52
  Speaker 3: But do you have you ever had a you know,
• 46:56
  Speaker 3: a fork in the road where you're like, I genuinely
• 46:58
  Speaker 3: could just go dark here.
• 47:01
  Speaker 4: Yeah. Not in friendships, for sure. I think it happens
• 47:09
  Speaker 4: over time. I think you well, for personally, I trust
• 47:13
  Speaker 4: people like I trust people, and then they'll show me
• 47:16
  Speaker 4: why I can't trust them, and I'll still like and
• 47:19
  Speaker 4: then they'll still keep reminding me why I can't until
• 47:22
  Speaker 4: I have to realize the hard lesson, like, all right,
• 47:25
  Speaker 4: doesn't mean you don't like the person.
• 47:26
  Speaker 6: It doesn't mean you hate the person.
• 47:28
  Speaker 4: It just means that you can't trust them, and you
• 47:30
  Speaker 4: might not don't want to have that energy around you.
• 47:32
  Speaker 4: That's happened a few times, even recently. That's happened, But
• 47:36
  Speaker 4: it's a lesson that you have to learn. Doesn't mean
• 47:38
  Speaker 4: like the next companionship or friend that I might meet
• 47:41
  Speaker 4: along the way, that you know what I'm going into it.
• 47:43
  Speaker 4: I don't trust him because this happened. I don't trust
• 47:45
  Speaker 4: her because this has happened. It's like, all right, well,
• 47:47
  Speaker 4: now you've learned from that lesson. You saw all the signs.
• 47:50
  Speaker 4: If you see it here, we already know what we're
• 47:51
  Speaker 4: gonna do.
• 47:52
  Speaker 5: Yeah, what's the hardest lesson you've had to learn in life?
• 47:56
  Speaker 2: Yeah? Man, it's a lot of lessons.
• 47:58
  Speaker 1: But you can't have expectations for people, Like you got
• 48:03
  Speaker 1: to just let people just be themselves. Like when you expect,
• 48:06
  Speaker 1: when you have expectations of people, you're going to get
• 48:09
  Speaker 1: disappointed nine times out of ten. Well I'm packing some
• 48:14
  Speaker 1: things here.
• 48:17
  Speaker 5: How do you do that? Though?
• 48:18
  Speaker 3: Like, how do you not have expectations for people? That's
• 48:21
  Speaker 3: a that's a zen way of moving through the world.
• 48:24
  Speaker 3: I mean, you're a pretty zen guy.
• 48:25
  Speaker 1: But now when I say expectations, it's like all right,
• 48:28
  Speaker 1: Like you know, of course, like you said the trust thing,
• 48:31
  Speaker 1: you got to expect certain things, Like I'm expecting that
• 48:33
  Speaker 1: you're going to be here, so like that's an expectation.
• 48:35
  Speaker 1: But I'm just saying as far as life right, like
• 48:38
  Speaker 1: I'm not going to be disappointed because I'm not putting
• 48:42
  Speaker 1: too much expectations on anybody. So if you want to
• 48:48
  Speaker 1: do something that might potentially disappoint me, like, it's not
• 48:52
  Speaker 1: going to hit me the same way because I didn't put.
• 48:54
  Speaker 5: Or I didn't put them then put them on a pedestal.
• 48:56
  Speaker 1: I didn't put yeah, or just the expectation of them
• 49:00
  Speaker 1: doing anything at all good negative, positive, Like it's like,
• 49:03
  Speaker 1: all right, Like, if we're doing business, let's just do business.
• 49:06
  Speaker 1: I don't completely trust the situation all the way around,
• 49:08
  Speaker 1: but I have enough trust to do this. But you know,
• 49:11
  Speaker 1: you always got to keep one eye open at all times.
• 49:14
  Speaker 1: And I'm not living in a fantasy that you know,
• 49:20
  Speaker 1: every single person is the greatest person that ever walked
• 49:24
  Speaker 1: the face of earth and nobody can you know, like
• 49:27
  Speaker 1: people do crazy shit all the time. Yeah, so it's like,
• 49:30
  Speaker 1: you know, all right, let's just keep that in the
• 49:33
  Speaker 1: back of our mind that at any given moment some
• 49:35
  Speaker 1: crazy shit could happen.
• 49:37
  Speaker 3: But do you think you can like feel deeply for
• 49:40
  Speaker 3: people if you if you are always open to the
• 49:45
  Speaker 3: idea that they could turn on.
• 49:46
  Speaker 2: You, you have to.
• 49:47
  Speaker 1: It's it's like you can, but you also got to
• 49:52
  Speaker 1: have some level of disconnect.
• 49:57
  Speaker 6: They're going to think you don't love me, Bro, You're
• 50:00
  Speaker 6: gonna have.
• 50:00
  Speaker 2: A healthy, healthy level of.
• 50:02
  Speaker 3: I'm never going to play, I promise.
• 50:05
  Speaker 6: I think that.
• 50:09
  Speaker 5: I mean, I listen, I agree with you, but I do.
• 50:13
  Speaker 3: Think that some like some part of me is a
• 50:18
  Speaker 3: little sad about that.
• 50:21
  Speaker 2: The healthy level of disconnect.
• 50:24
  Speaker 5: Okay, you're calling it healthy.
• 50:27
  Speaker 4: I don't know that when we say when you say,
• 50:29
  Speaker 4: and I'm just listening to it, when you say the
• 50:32
  Speaker 4: healthy level of disconnect, is that also equivalent to be
• 50:36
  Speaker 4: emotionally unavailable? Are they the same as in the same realm?
• 50:40
  Speaker 4: I mean for you too, I guess because you said
• 50:43
  Speaker 4: you agree.
• 50:44
  Speaker 3: Well I agree, Yeah, I do. I do agree, I
• 50:46
  Speaker 3: think because I but that's because of life experience. Like
• 50:50
  Speaker 3: there's definitely been times where I'm like, yeah, love care,
• 50:56
  Speaker 3: eyes crossed, you know, but I'm I think, you know,
• 51:01
  Speaker 3: from experience. I just think that you know, I agree,
• 51:04
  Speaker 3: Like I think you have to you have to stay
• 51:06
  Speaker 3: a little bit.
• 51:07
  Speaker 5: You got to touch grass, you know, at all times.
• 51:09
  Speaker 2: Well, it's just.
• 51:10
  Speaker 1: About being balanced, Like I believe in being balanced. Like,
• 51:13
  Speaker 1: and somebody could be a good point A good person
• 51:15
  Speaker 1: doesn't mean they're a bad person, but they could let
• 51:17
  Speaker 1: you down. You don't put any level like that level
• 51:21
  Speaker 1: of devotion is that's God. You should be devoted to
• 51:25
  Speaker 1: God like, I mean, if you believe in God, like,
• 51:27
  Speaker 1: that's who you should be devoted in. Because that's somebody
• 51:30
  Speaker 1: that's a perfect entity right there. That's not something that
• 51:33
  Speaker 1: has the ability to let you down. Everybody else, your mother,
• 51:37
  Speaker 1: your children, everybody has the ability to let you down.
• 51:40
  Speaker 1: That doesn't mean that they're bad people, right. People make mistakes.
• 51:44
  Speaker 1: It could be your mistake, and anything could happen. But
• 51:46
  Speaker 1: I feel like that's when you that's when you really
• 51:49
  Speaker 1: start to go off a deep end, when you have
• 51:51
  Speaker 1: so much undenying blindness. I'm not going to be blind
• 51:56
  Speaker 1: like you know what I mean. Like I could love somebody,
• 51:57
  Speaker 1: I could love people, I could pour into people, but
• 52:00
  Speaker 1: I'm still not blind in this situation. I'm going into
• 52:05
  Speaker 1: every situation in a rational thought process. I'm not going
• 52:08
  Speaker 1: anything like opioid love, addiction with friends, money, relationships, business.
• 52:15
  Speaker 1: I'm not doing that because that's not even intelligent.
• 52:18
  Speaker 5: Have you ever done that?
• 52:21
  Speaker 2: No?
• 52:21
  Speaker 1: Not really, But I mean you know you you you
• 52:23
  Speaker 1: you kind of might put a little bit more into
• 52:27
  Speaker 1: one thing than the other. But I don't think I've
• 52:29
  Speaker 1: ever been like one hundred percent fully, like you know,
• 52:33
  Speaker 1: I'm just oblivious to anything, like you know what I mean,
• 52:36
  Speaker 1: Like that's that's how you get killed, Like you know
• 52:40
  Speaker 1: what I mean? Like really, like that's safe, it's not
• 52:43
  Speaker 1: even go there. It's dangerous.
• 52:46
  Speaker 3: It is very dangerous. I will never be back, but
• 52:50
  Speaker 3: it is.
• 52:50
  Speaker 6: It's a place.
• 52:51
  Speaker 5: It is a place. Do you agree? Do you agree
• 52:54
  Speaker 5: with them? I do you agree with us?
• 52:57
  Speaker 6: I don't necessarily agree. Again, I've been married.
• 53:00
  Speaker 4: For like fourteen years, and we would gather more than that.
• 53:03
  Speaker 4: That's just in the husband white relationship. Yeah, I'm I'm different.
• 53:10
  Speaker 4: I'm different. I grew up around relationships. I enjoy relationships
• 53:14
  Speaker 4: like I enjoy the companionship from my wife, even in
• 53:19
  Speaker 4: my friendships.
• 53:20
  Speaker 6: Like that's all I said.
• 53:22
  Speaker 4: Like how he says, it's like, wait, we don't love
• 53:23
  Speaker 4: each other because I feel like I'm like, yo, I
• 53:26
  Speaker 4: fully trust these guys. Like there's certain people in my
• 53:28
  Speaker 4: life that I know for sure, no matter what, They've
• 53:33
  Speaker 4: got my back, even if I'm looking at something the
• 53:36
  Speaker 4: wrong way, I know they have my best reastiness in mind.
• 53:39
  Speaker 2: And so.
• 53:41
  Speaker 4: Experiences have shaped his viewpoint. And I think experience have
• 53:44
  Speaker 4: shaped mind and all the relationships I've had weren't always healthy,
• 53:49
  Speaker 4: but I feel like I've learned so much from him.
• 53:51
  Speaker 4: I feel like almost sometimes when there's a mistake or
• 53:53
  Speaker 4: there's a mistrust that happens, I feel like it made
• 53:57
  Speaker 4: you stronger. I think Jay said on a one time
• 54:00
  Speaker 4: it was like broken sometimes it's better than new because
• 54:03
  Speaker 4: when it's new and it's shiny, it hasn't been through anything, right,
• 54:06
  Speaker 4: But if it could be put back together from this piece,
• 54:08
  Speaker 4: it's just like, all right, you've you've withstood something, and
• 54:12
  Speaker 4: now you're even stronger because of what you said. So yeah,
• 54:15
  Speaker 4: I don't fundamentally agree, but I understand it.
• 54:17
  Speaker 1: But I also think that it's a nuanced conversation. It's like, Okay,
• 54:21
  Speaker 1: my mother. Obviously I trust my mother right like I
• 54:23
  Speaker 1: trust some more than probably anybody in the world. But
• 54:26
  Speaker 1: there's certain things I'm not going to tell her because
• 54:28
  Speaker 1: I know that she has the ability to tell somebody
• 54:30
  Speaker 1: else what I'm gonna tell her. It doesn't make her
• 54:32
  Speaker 1: a bad person. She just talks a lot, right, So
• 54:34
  Speaker 1: that's just a calculated that's just me being a calculated person.
• 54:37
  Speaker 1: If I don't want, if I don't want somebody to
• 54:38
  Speaker 1: know something, I'm not going to tell her that doesn't
• 54:41
  Speaker 1: that doesn't. That's just a fact.
• 54:43
  Speaker 5: I mean, you know what I'm saying that I think
• 54:45
  Speaker 5: that counts from me.
• 54:46
  Speaker 2: But that doesn't. That doesn't mean like I'm not all in,
• 54:49
  Speaker 2: Like I wouldn't do anything for her. I don't love
• 54:50
  Speaker 2: for her.
• 54:51
  Speaker 1: But that's I have a certain level of intelligence at
• 54:53
  Speaker 1: all times. Like you know what I'm saying, Like that
• 54:55
  Speaker 1: would be unintelligent for me, because that's gonna lead to
• 54:58
  Speaker 1: me being mad because I'm setting myself up a failure.
• 55:01
  Speaker 1: I'm telling her something I like, I'm gonna confide in
• 55:02
  Speaker 1: this in you. I know that there's a good chance
• 55:04
  Speaker 1: that it's gonna come out to somebody else. Then what's
• 55:06
  Speaker 1: gonna happen?
• 55:07
  Speaker 3: Then I couldn't she argue that you are not You're
• 55:10
  Speaker 3: not you know fully vulnerable with her. You don't you
• 55:13
  Speaker 3: don't tell her everything?
• 55:14
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you know, yeah for sure.
• 55:16
  Speaker 1: But that But like I said, that's those two different conversations.
• 55:19
  Speaker 1: What I'm saying is that if I if I just
• 55:21
  Speaker 1: go by the logic of you know, I'm just I'm
• 55:24
  Speaker 1: just floating on air with this like this is my mom,
• 55:28
  Speaker 1: Like I don't kiss me and her against the world
• 55:30
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna tell her everything. That's not even healthy for
• 55:33
  Speaker 1: our relationship because I'm setting it up for us to
• 55:36
  Speaker 1: have friction because what's going to happen is that she's
• 55:39
  Speaker 1: going to tell somebody something and then I'm gonna get mad,
• 55:42
  Speaker 1: And then why would I do that?
• 55:44
  Speaker 5: Like you know what I mean, Like I again, I
• 55:47
  Speaker 5: agree with you.
• 55:47
  Speaker 2: And also I feel like.
• 55:48
  Speaker 1: Even relationships, when it comes to romantic relationships, is how
• 55:51
  Speaker 1: we look at things in Western society is different. Other
• 55:55
  Speaker 1: parts of the world are a lot more calculated, Like
• 55:57
  Speaker 1: when you're talking about a arranged marriage that happens in
• 55:59
  Speaker 1: other parts to the world. That's a decision that happens
• 56:02
  Speaker 1: right between fans, the real business decision calculated, or when
• 56:05
  Speaker 1: you you know, even look at like we travel to Africa,
• 56:08
  Speaker 1: a lot of this dowries right, like you have to actually, Okay,
• 56:12
  Speaker 1: I'm in love with you.
• 56:13
  Speaker 2: That's not enough.
• 56:14
  Speaker 1: Now I gotta go to your family. I gotta give
• 56:16
  Speaker 1: them a proposal, financial proposal, I gotta give them certain
• 56:20
  Speaker 1: things we negotiate. So I feel like us in America,
• 56:25
  Speaker 1: in Western society, we've fallen in love with this idea
• 56:29
  Speaker 1: of a fantasy. It's not even healthy if you look
• 56:32
  Speaker 1: at statistics, why are fifty percent of the people getting
• 56:34
  Speaker 1: divorced right Because there's not enough logic because there's too
• 56:38
  Speaker 1: much emotion. In my opinion, if there was more logic,
• 56:41
  Speaker 1: if there was more rational thought put into this situation,
• 56:44
  Speaker 1: unless just flinging off the love of emotion, like I
• 56:47
  Speaker 1: just like her eyes, so I'm gonna just give everything
• 56:49
  Speaker 1: in the world type shit. That's gonna fade away. That
• 56:53
  Speaker 1: physical attraction is going to fade away. The emotional like
• 56:57
  Speaker 1: intelligence is going to stay. So I feel like that's
• 57:01
  Speaker 1: actually more beneficial than just diving into something head over
• 57:05
  Speaker 1: heels and just saying fuck the world, like I'm in
• 57:08
  Speaker 1: love and nobody can tell me nothing.
• 57:09
  Speaker 3: Well, yeah, I mean it goes back to like the
• 57:11
  Speaker 3: partnership thing, like it really you know, you guys have
• 57:16
  Speaker 3: a partnership. You and your wife have a different type
• 57:18
  Speaker 3: of partnership. Friends have different partnerships. You have partnerships with.
• 57:21
  Speaker 5: Your family, even if they are family.
• 57:24
  Speaker 3: There's relationships in general, And it's why I was talking
• 57:28
  Speaker 3: about this with someone yesterday about why the Internet is
• 57:31
  Speaker 3: so obsessed with talking about relationships, and I was like,
• 57:34
  Speaker 3: because every person has relationships.
• 57:36
  Speaker 5: Every person is not a sports fan.
• 57:38
  Speaker 3: Every person is not you know, equipped to have financial conversations.
• 57:43
  Speaker 3: Every person is not a mother or a father. Every
• 57:46
  Speaker 3: person is not a college student. But every single person
• 57:50
  Speaker 3: has relationships where they are working relationships, friendships, family, interpersonal relationships.
• 57:56
  Speaker 3: So everyone has an opinion about it because they've all experience.
• 58:00
  Speaker 3: It's something that is a human experience that connects all
• 58:03
  Speaker 3: of us in different ways. And we separated romantic relationships
• 58:09
  Speaker 3: because there's obviously a different component of it when you're
• 58:12
  Speaker 3: talking about, you know, a physical relationship with someone, but
• 58:16
  Speaker 3: the fundamentals of what you're talking about should apply across
• 58:20
  Speaker 3: the board, which is while what you're saying is admittedly
• 58:24
  Speaker 3: not romantic, but it is it's true like you have
• 58:30
  Speaker 3: to you have to stay more grounded, and it does
• 58:32
  Speaker 3: keep you from that fleeting like you know, storybook floating
• 58:37
  Speaker 3: experience sometimes not to say that you can't have that
• 58:40
  Speaker 3: in moments, but that's just not what life is like.
• 58:42
  Speaker 3: You're going to go through different different things and right, right,
• 58:47
  Speaker 3: But I also think we're very paralyzed by choices these days,
• 58:51
  Speaker 3: like the idea that you can just move on to
• 58:53
  Speaker 3: the next person, you can just find another business partner,
• 58:56
  Speaker 3: you can just find new friends. You can just move
• 58:58
  Speaker 3: to a new city and start a new life. Like
• 59:00
  Speaker 3: everything is just so easy and quick, and turnover has
• 59:03
  Speaker 3: put everyone in this like short term. We're almost like
• 59:08
  Speaker 3: paralyzed by how many options we have for everything. So
• 59:13
  Speaker 3: the idea of working through things is almost crazy because
• 59:17
  Speaker 3: why I could just signed something else.
• 59:21
  Speaker 4: That's true, that's true. I mean, optionality is something that
• 59:26
  Speaker 4: is taken. It's I think it's I wouldn't say taken
• 59:29
  Speaker 4: for granted, but it's it's something that people if they
• 59:34
  Speaker 4: thought about it in a rational standpoint, they would realize
• 59:37
  Speaker 4: that there ain't there aren't many options, especially in well.
• 59:41
  Speaker 5: There aren't many. There are many great options.
• 59:43
  Speaker 6: I should say that that's great options.
• 59:45
  Speaker 2: When you say great options, what are you referring.
• 59:47
  Speaker 5: To referring to anything?
• 59:49
  Speaker 3: I mean, I think there's only so many great places
• 59:53
  Speaker 3: that you're going to work, right. You may maybe you
• 59:55
  Speaker 3: have you work for five different companies in your life.
• 59:58
  Speaker 3: You may only have one good experience at that company
• 1:00:02
  Speaker 3: at one company. Maybe you have one great relationship in
• 1:00:05
  Speaker 3: your life, you have one great relationship.
• 1:00:07
  Speaker 5: With the family member.
• 1:00:08
  Speaker 3: Like maybe you have a huge family, but you only
• 1:00:10
  Speaker 3: really close with one person in your family. We all
• 1:00:13
  Speaker 3: think we have, you know, a myriad of friends, but
• 1:00:15
  Speaker 3: maybe we only really have one or two best friends
• 1:00:18
  Speaker 3: our whole life, Like the difference between great and we
• 1:00:20
  Speaker 3: have these conversations in sports all the time, it's like
• 1:00:22
  Speaker 3: who's the goat, who's great, who's good, who's okay? Like
• 1:00:25
  Speaker 3: rankings all of these things. The greatness in your life
• 1:00:31
  Speaker 3: is actually quite minimal.
• 1:00:34
  Speaker 6: It's limited.
• 1:00:34
  Speaker 5: It is limited you can find.
• 1:00:36
  Speaker 1: I don't know though, I don't feel like that. I
• 1:00:38
  Speaker 1: feel like that's a scarcity mindset. I feel like abundance
• 1:00:41
  Speaker 1: mindset is like there's always opportunity, there's always there's unlimited options,
• 1:00:46
  Speaker 1: there's unlimited choices. I really feel like once you start
• 1:00:48
  Speaker 1: to really think like that, shit just starts falling off
• 1:00:51
  Speaker 1: the sky.
• 1:00:51
  Speaker 2: Like I really truly believe.
• 1:00:52
  Speaker 3: That I believe that good things can happen, but I
• 1:00:56
  Speaker 3: also think that you do need to value and put
• 1:00:59
  Speaker 3: work into and have patience with things as well.
• 1:01:03
  Speaker 2: One hundred percent.
• 1:01:04
  Speaker 1: But I do feel like I don't believe, Like old
• 1:01:07
  Speaker 1: school was like fuck it, I don't like this person,
• 1:01:09
  Speaker 1: but we're just gonna ride it out. And then you
• 1:01:12
  Speaker 1: become seventy years old, you miserable because you've been with
• 1:01:14
  Speaker 1: the person, Like that's what they don't tell you, Like, yeah,
• 1:01:16
  Speaker 1: they was married for forty years, but they was miserable
• 1:01:18
  Speaker 1: for thirty eight years. They didn't have an option. They
• 1:01:21
  Speaker 1: didn't look at it like that. They was like, all right,
• 1:01:23
  Speaker 1: fuck it, I'm in Mississippi. I ain't really you know
• 1:01:25
  Speaker 1: what I'm saying. What else am I going to do
• 1:01:27
  Speaker 1: when I'm just gonna ride this out? Like me personally,
• 1:01:29
  Speaker 1: I feel like you only getting one shot at this
• 1:01:30
  Speaker 1: thing life. I'm all for working through problems, but I'm
• 1:01:34
  Speaker 1: not gonna waste time with something that is not gonna work,
• 1:01:38
  Speaker 1: and you know early if it's not gonna work, Like
• 1:01:40
  Speaker 1: I feel like that's a major part of this conversation
• 1:01:43
  Speaker 1: is like people say, work through a problem, Well, why
• 1:01:46
  Speaker 1: it's a problem.
• 1:01:47
  Speaker 5: Why am I working through it's problem?
• 1:01:50
  Speaker 4: Even what you're saying is kind of like in line
• 1:01:52
  Speaker 4: with what I think I joined. I both agreeing to
• 1:01:55
  Speaker 4: that the greatness is limited because even if I'm married
• 1:01:58
  Speaker 4: for forty and I was miserable for thirty five, I
• 1:02:02
  Speaker 4: might have had one great year, which is limited, or
• 1:02:04
  Speaker 4: I might have had a great relationship prior to that
• 1:02:07
  Speaker 4: that It's like, yo, damn that girl from high school diverment.
• 1:02:09
  Speaker 6: We had a great three years. Like that was the
• 1:02:13
  Speaker 6: great relationship.
• 1:02:14
  Speaker 2: That I had.
• 1:02:14
  Speaker 4: I know, I'm married to this person because I really
• 1:02:17
  Speaker 4: like her and we made sense.
• 1:02:19
  Speaker 6: But I am miserable.
• 1:02:20
  Speaker 4: So like it becomes very limited in the sense of
• 1:02:22
  Speaker 4: like how many great friends do you really have a lot?
• 1:02:26
  Speaker 6: You have a lot of great friends.
• 1:02:28
  Speaker 1: Yeah, because I feel like there's different people that come
• 1:02:30
  Speaker 1: in different parts of your life. And it's like sports,
• 1:02:33
  Speaker 1: there's different people that have different components. Okay, somebody might
• 1:02:36
  Speaker 1: be a great shooter, somebody might be a great ball handler,
• 1:02:38
  Speaker 1: somebody might be a great defender.
• 1:02:40
  Speaker 2: That's the part.
• 1:02:41
  Speaker 1: That's the part that relationships get hard because you're looking
• 1:02:43
  Speaker 1: for the perfect person. That's why I think you can
• 1:02:46
  Speaker 1: be in love with two people at one time, too,
• 1:02:49
  Speaker 1: because what you see in one. No, I'm being honest
• 1:02:53
  Speaker 1: with you. I'm I'm not saying that that's condonable. I'm
• 1:02:57
  Speaker 1: just saying that I'm just I could understand.
• 1:02:58
  Speaker 2: It because you se New York.
• 1:03:02
  Speaker 3: Listen, are we telling you about these New York man
• 1:03:04
  Speaker 3: You're gonna watch them? No?
• 1:03:05
  Speaker 1: No, No, I'm just saying you can represented New York.
• 1:03:09
  Speaker 1: You find value in one person, but they have flaws.
• 1:03:13
  Speaker 1: You find value in another person. They have flaws. You
• 1:03:15
  Speaker 1: find value in another person. They have flaw not just relationships,
• 1:03:17
  Speaker 1: just in life.
• 1:03:18
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 1:03:18
  Speaker 1: So I might have one friend who I really really
• 1:03:21
  Speaker 1: like because he's the nightlife guy, like you know what
• 1:03:24
  Speaker 1: I mean, he could connect all the dots. He's a
• 1:03:25
  Speaker 1: very sociable person, Da da da da, but he has
• 1:03:28
  Speaker 1: flaws in his other parts of his character. Then I
• 1:03:31
  Speaker 1: have another person who is just strictly business. He opens
• 1:03:33
  Speaker 1: up doors opportunities, but he's kind of weird, he's boring,
• 1:03:37
  Speaker 1: and he's flaws in some of the things that I
• 1:03:39
  Speaker 1: So I'm interacting with different people, and you meeting people
• 1:03:43
  Speaker 1: and different people have different seasons. Like I knew him
• 1:03:46
  Speaker 1: for twenty five years. But there's some people that I
• 1:03:47
  Speaker 1: went to college with that I was really close with
• 1:03:50
  Speaker 1: in college for two years. We moved away, we live
• 1:03:53
  Speaker 1: in different cities, so we're not really close like that
• 1:03:55
  Speaker 1: no more. But those two years was great times. Those
• 1:03:58
  Speaker 1: are great friends of mine for two years. Then we
• 1:04:00
  Speaker 1: go and do this, and then we do that, and
• 1:04:02
  Speaker 1: that happens all the time. It's a constant cycle of
• 1:04:04
  Speaker 1: new people that's coming in and out of your life.
• 1:04:06
  Speaker 2: So I don't.
• 1:04:08
  Speaker 1: I'm not one of those people that say you only
• 1:04:09
  Speaker 1: have one or two good friends in your life. I
• 1:04:11
  Speaker 1: feel like you have a hundred good friends. But thet
• 1:04:14
  Speaker 1: different moments that everything has an expiration date. It may
• 1:04:17
  Speaker 1: not be, it may not last thirty forty years. What
• 1:04:20
  Speaker 1: you said is the point?
• 1:04:21
  Speaker 2: What just said?
• 1:04:22
  Speaker 6: They have expiration dates. So even the time is.
• 1:04:24
  Speaker 2: Yeah, everything limited, everything has expiration.
• 1:04:27
  Speaker 6: Say, but even the time is limited with those expiration.
• 1:04:29
  Speaker 2: Dates, like everybody has even.
• 1:04:31
  Speaker 4: In this landscape of the world, right there's eight billion people.
• 1:04:34
  Speaker 4: Even if I had one hundred great friends, that's still
• 1:04:36
  Speaker 4: very limited.
• 1:04:38
  Speaker 1: Oh, it's all relative in life. That will be if
• 1:04:41
  Speaker 1: somebody had a hundred great friends, that would be a
• 1:04:42
  Speaker 1: lot of friends.
• 1:04:43
  Speaker 3: I think I have a lot. I have lots of
• 1:04:46
  Speaker 3: good friends. I think I have more than more than
• 1:04:49
  Speaker 3: the average number of great friends. I just think that
• 1:04:53
  Speaker 3: I struggle. I feel like I'm constantly in the middle
• 1:04:57
  Speaker 3: of in an old school mindset in a new school
• 1:05:01
  Speaker 3: reality of you know, we live in an instant gratification society.
• 1:05:07
  Speaker 3: We have access to so much. If I click on
• 1:05:09
  Speaker 3: a video and it doesn't buffer with the first three
• 1:05:12
  Speaker 3: seconds I'm out. I'm out, and I can admit that.
• 1:05:15
  Speaker 3: And I think that it pours over into how we
• 1:05:18
  Speaker 3: treat each other. I think it pours over into our
• 1:05:21
  Speaker 3: inner personal relationships, in our business relationships, our ability to
• 1:05:25
  Speaker 3: pay attention to things, our ability to you know, fight
• 1:05:30
  Speaker 3: back against things that are happening, like our rights being
• 1:05:33
  Speaker 3: taken away, Like it's just hard for us to focus
• 1:05:35
  Speaker 3: on things. So I feel personally conflicted about the idea
• 1:05:41
  Speaker 3: of not working through things or not you know, fighting
• 1:05:45
  Speaker 3: for things that I like, love or believe in, and
• 1:05:48
  Speaker 3: also being like, yeah, well, there's eight billion people and
• 1:05:53
  Speaker 3: it's you.
• 1:05:54
  Speaker 1: Know, language is important. And I feel like we've been
• 1:05:58
  Speaker 1: taught since I was a kid, I always heard the
• 1:06:00
  Speaker 1: same thing. You're only gonna get a few good women
• 1:06:03
  Speaker 1: in your life. Don't don't ruin it. You're only gonna
• 1:06:05
  Speaker 1: have a few good friends. Now, that's what I'm saying,
• 1:06:08
  Speaker 1: Like that that's common. At the same time, depending on
• 1:06:12
  Speaker 1: that every time. Yeah, but that's what they always tell you, like,
• 1:06:17
  Speaker 1: you're only gonna have a few good friends, You're only
• 1:06:19
  Speaker 1: gonna have a And then I'm like, nah, that's not
• 1:06:21
  Speaker 1: really true. If you were like me, I'm just a rebel,
• 1:06:24
  Speaker 1: I go against the green. Like, I feel like, nah,
• 1:06:26
  Speaker 1: that's not really true, Like that's speaking limited You speaking
• 1:06:29
  Speaker 1: limited words are very important. You can't limit yourself because
• 1:06:33
  Speaker 1: once you start to believe it, then you're gonna buy
• 1:06:35
  Speaker 1: into it. I'm like, cause I'm looking at my own
• 1:06:37
  Speaker 1: personal life. I'll go do my own personal life. I've
• 1:06:39
  Speaker 1: got my own personal life. I'm like, look, I met
• 1:06:41
  Speaker 1: a lot of great people in my life, from sports,
• 1:06:44
  Speaker 1: to going to different schools, to doing business to travel,
• 1:06:47
  Speaker 1: and like, these is my friends. I might not talk
• 1:06:50
  Speaker 1: to them every single day, but in the course of
• 1:06:54
  Speaker 1: my life, I met a lot of great people. I
• 1:06:55
  Speaker 1: met a lot of friends that I have memories with, right, Like,
• 1:06:58
  Speaker 1: I didn't meet just two people, three people. So I
• 1:07:02
  Speaker 1: personally feel like whatever you put out you're going.
• 1:07:04
  Speaker 5: To the language you use is very important.
• 1:07:08
  Speaker 1: It's the most important. It's the most important aspect of it.
• 1:07:12
  Speaker 5: I agree. I don't know I could love two people
• 1:07:15
  Speaker 5: at once.
• 1:07:15
  Speaker 1: But well it's different. You're a rebel, but you also
• 1:07:18
  Speaker 1: a woman has different emotional attachment than a man with.
• 1:07:23
  Speaker 5: We don't have enough time to do all that, Okay, I'm.
• 1:07:27
  Speaker 4: He's a rebel. Ladies, how many great women can we
• 1:07:30
  Speaker 4: run into.
• 1:07:31
  Speaker 5: Yeah, a lot.
• 1:07:33
  Speaker 1: There's a lot of great women. Thing, there's two things
• 1:07:36
  Speaker 1: that you're saying. Spect for the women to say that
• 1:07:37
  Speaker 1: there's only five great women.
• 1:07:38
  Speaker 2: No no, no, no, no, no no.
• 1:07:40
  Speaker 5: No, not an abundance mindset in New York representative.
• 1:07:46
  Speaker 2: There's a lot of great a lot of great women.
• 1:07:48
  Speaker 4: No, no, there's a lot of because I think there's
• 1:07:50
  Speaker 4: two different things. Yes, you can encounter great people, right,
• 1:07:52
  Speaker 4: but again always saying that these people are our friends.
• 1:07:55
  Speaker 4: I don't know you define your definition of friends. I
• 1:07:58
  Speaker 4: would ask the question is this, and it goes for
• 1:08:00
  Speaker 4: both of you, how many of them do you trust?
• 1:08:03
  Speaker 2: Trust is different? There's different levels of trust.
• 1:08:06
  Speaker 5: Yeah, so he I agree, there's different levels of trust.
• 1:08:10
  Speaker 3: And once you once you feel like you know people
• 1:08:13
  Speaker 3: like you were talking about with your mom, like you
• 1:08:15
  Speaker 3: can trust your mom, but you don't trust her with everything.
• 1:08:18
  Speaker 3: So there are there There may be one person because
• 1:08:24
  Speaker 3: I'm sure you trust your wife completely. There may be
• 1:08:28
  Speaker 3: one person in your life that you ever have in
• 1:08:31
  Speaker 3: your life that you can trust completely or that you
• 1:08:34
  Speaker 3: do trust completely.
• 1:08:37
  Speaker 5: Is that fair?
• 1:08:37
  Speaker 2: No?
• 1:08:38
  Speaker 1: No, you don't trust anybody completely. You don't trust anybody completely.
• 1:08:43
  Speaker 5: What Okay?
• 1:08:44
  Speaker 1: But if okay, let me give it. You trust me completely? Yes,
• 1:08:47
  Speaker 1: what's the what's the code to you to your bank account?
• 1:08:50
  Speaker 1: Can you give it to me? I was when we
• 1:08:51
  Speaker 1: get off.
• 1:08:52
  Speaker 6: Air, like I don't understand why I'm saying.
• 1:08:57
  Speaker 1: Is this it's like this if you needed me, but
• 1:09:00
  Speaker 1: I don't need to have it, but exactly because I
• 1:09:02
  Speaker 1: know you need it.
• 1:09:02
  Speaker 6: But I though, yeah, because I know he's not doing
• 1:09:05
  Speaker 6: a crazy ways, right, so if he.
• 1:09:06
  Speaker 5: Asked for it, you'd be like, yeah, of course, because
• 1:09:08
  Speaker 5: you trust it.
• 1:09:09
  Speaker 1: Know what I'm saying is this, you're not getting everybody
• 1:09:11
  Speaker 1: you I thought it was best. I trust my mom,
• 1:09:15
  Speaker 1: I trust Troy, I trust my sister. But then there's
• 1:09:18
  Speaker 1: certain things that some people just don't need to know, right,
• 1:09:22
  Speaker 1: Like that doesn't mean that you don't trust them. No,
• 1:09:24
  Speaker 1: that's truely, I said. I just explained it with my mom.
• 1:09:26
  Speaker 1: She doesn't need to know certain things because it's just
• 1:09:30
  Speaker 1: it's not beneficial. It's not like, you know, it's not
• 1:09:32
  Speaker 1: going to help me in any certain But then it's
• 1:09:35
  Speaker 1: like I still trust her, Like if she has the
• 1:09:38
  Speaker 1: keys to my house.
• 1:09:38
  Speaker 4: You say, you're no, you're right, No, he's right. They
• 1:09:41
  Speaker 4: don't need to know everything. But that doesn't mean I
• 1:09:43
  Speaker 4: don't trust you any less because you don't know everything.
• 1:09:45
  Speaker 3: There are people who would adomantly disagree with both of you,
• 1:09:48
  Speaker 3: like that did everything that is not.
• 1:09:53
  Speaker 5: Transparent?
• 1:09:54
  Speaker 1: What's not transparent if I don't tell you everything? Yeah,
• 1:09:57
  Speaker 1: oh well, I mean we just we don't. In a
• 1:10:00
  Speaker 1: thing called realistic life, who knows every single thing? Right, Like,
• 1:10:06
  Speaker 1: nobody knows every single thing.
• 1:10:08
  Speaker 7: Nobody has every single password, white has every single memory
• 1:10:13
  Speaker 7: of life that's ever happened. Like there's certain I'm not
• 1:10:17
  Speaker 7: going out like let's say we're together, right, Like, I
• 1:10:20
  Speaker 7: don't expect you to go out at night and say, okay,
• 1:10:23
  Speaker 7: look this is what I did from eight o'clock to
• 1:10:26
  Speaker 7: two o'clock.
• 1:10:26
  Speaker 2: Indeed, I don't even need to know all that.
• 1:10:28
  Speaker 6: You know, it's true in my life right this, she
• 1:10:32
  Speaker 6: knows me like these two, him.
• 1:10:34
  Speaker 4: And my way, they probably don't men better than anybody.
• 1:10:36
  Speaker 4: But there's certain details of my life that she doesn't
• 1:10:38
  Speaker 4: know about me that he does because he's been here
• 1:10:41
  Speaker 4: probably longer and has traveled with done We've had different experiences,
• 1:10:44
  Speaker 4: and it's certain parts of him like she don't know
• 1:10:47
  Speaker 4: because right, it's just about the access and I don't
• 1:10:51
  Speaker 4: even know if it's transparency because we are transparent, and
• 1:10:53
  Speaker 4: we are transparent. It's just that our relationships are different,
• 1:10:56
  Speaker 4: experiences are different.
• 1:10:57
  Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, I agree with both of you. I think that.
• 1:11:00
  Speaker 6: So who are these people who are not gonna agree?
• 1:11:02
  Speaker 6: New York representatives?
• 1:11:04
  Speaker 5: They're gonna be in the comments. Okay, we're gonna do
• 1:11:08
  Speaker 5: a rapid fire before we get out of here.
• 1:11:10
  Speaker 3: What is your What is the song you're listening to
• 1:11:14
  Speaker 3: the most right now?
• 1:11:15
  Speaker 2: Right now?
• 1:11:15
  Speaker 5: Yeah?
• 1:11:19
  Speaker 2: Yeah, listen.
• 1:11:20
  Speaker 1: I just listened to random songs so right now. The
• 1:11:22
  Speaker 1: last day, I've been listening to the to Living Die
• 1:11:25
  Speaker 1: in La by Tupac. I don't know why, but just
• 1:11:27
  Speaker 1: that was just in my spirits on his favorite song.
• 1:11:30
  Speaker 1: That's my favorite Tupac song of all. Tom So, I
• 1:11:32
  Speaker 1: listened to Tupac?
• 1:11:33
  Speaker 6: What am I listened to? Changing Whips clips? Kendrew? My
• 1:11:36
  Speaker 6: son loves that song. So he's going to call with
• 1:11:38
  Speaker 6: me a lot.
• 1:11:39
  Speaker 5: A place you visited You'll never go again?
• 1:11:42
  Speaker 2: Place off is that never go again?
• 1:11:51
  Speaker 6: Oh?
• 1:11:52
  Speaker 1: I feel like even if I have a bad experience,
• 1:11:53
  Speaker 1: I'm willing to give it a second try. I might
• 1:11:56
  Speaker 1: have just you know, been with the wrong people or
• 1:11:58
  Speaker 1: you know, the weather might have been a great So
• 1:12:01
  Speaker 1: I don't think there's any place that I want that
• 1:12:03
  Speaker 1: I say I will never go again.
• 1:12:07
  Speaker 4: I want to preface this by saying this is no
• 1:12:08
  Speaker 4: disrespect to the people that are there, and no disrespect
• 1:12:12
  Speaker 4: to anybody that comes from there or the family still
• 1:12:13
  Speaker 4: lives there. I haven't had the greatest time in DR.
• 1:12:16
  Speaker 4: I've been there like three times. Each time it hasn't
• 1:12:20
  Speaker 4: been great. I probably would and go back to d
• 1:12:23
  Speaker 4: R at.
• 1:12:23
  Speaker 5: This moment, I haven't been. I haven't been to DR.
• 1:12:26
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 1:12:28
  Speaker 5: Biggest financial mistake that you've.
• 1:12:30
  Speaker 2: Made, Oh, buying the house, doing the house.
• 1:12:34
  Speaker 5: Building a house. Yeah, yeah, you're not. You're not loving this.
• 1:12:37
  Speaker 6: No, it's my neighbor.
• 1:12:42
  Speaker 4: It was buying a car at BMW five to twenty
• 1:12:46
  Speaker 4: five when I was twenty five years old.
• 1:12:51
  Speaker 6: Couldn't afford it. I just, you know, just wanted it.
• 1:12:55
  Speaker 4: It was kind of these ones in these things, and
• 1:12:57
  Speaker 4: it just overwhelmed me with the out I felt like
• 1:13:01
  Speaker 4: I needed it.
• 1:13:02
  Speaker 5: Always a car.
• 1:13:03
  Speaker 6: Yeah, it was a bad decision.
• 1:13:06
  Speaker 4: I think I tell a story like I was making
• 1:13:08
  Speaker 4: twelve hundred dollars every two weeks and the car note
• 1:13:13
  Speaker 4: was like five eighty six a month, and I was like, damn,
• 1:13:16
  Speaker 4: that's like a third of what I'm making. And then
• 1:13:19
  Speaker 4: life happens, school happens, and you're like, I'm paying this
• 1:13:22
  Speaker 4: for five years six years.
• 1:13:24
  Speaker 6: Car starts depreciating.
• 1:13:26
  Speaker 4: Parts never depreciate, so if you got to fix it,
• 1:13:28
  Speaker 4: the parts are expensive.
• 1:13:29
  Speaker 6: It was a bad idea, but Lesson learned.
• 1:13:32
  Speaker 5: A book that changed your outlook on life.
• 1:13:36
  Speaker 2: Four agreements.
• 1:13:38
  Speaker 5: You deserve to be rich.
• 1:13:39
  Speaker 2: That's a fact.
• 1:13:40
  Speaker 6: I'm gonna start with that.
• 1:13:43
  Speaker 4: I think the Alchemists, I'll put to the Alchemists, and
• 1:13:45
  Speaker 4: who moved my cheese?
• 1:13:47
  Speaker 5: I love the Alchemists.
• 1:13:48
  Speaker 3: You're starting a company with three public facing people, who's
• 1:13:51
  Speaker 3: your dream CEO? CMO and CFO.
• 1:13:58
  Speaker 2: A dreams CEO that for real?
• 1:14:05
  Speaker 5: I probably I would take CMO CEOs too much?
• 1:14:09
  Speaker 2: Okay too much?
• 1:14:11
  Speaker 5: Yeah, I feel like I could market it well. Best
• 1:14:17
  Speaker 5: CEO then the best you would pick a CEO for
• 1:14:20
  Speaker 5: your company, the.
• 1:14:21
  Speaker 1: Best CEO, I feel like the best CEO. I feel
• 1:14:30
  Speaker 1: like Warren Buffett is the best CEO as far as
• 1:14:34
  Speaker 1: you know his temperament, well, he's been able to accomplish
• 1:14:37
  Speaker 1: with his compan Everybody talks about him being an investor,
• 1:14:39
  Speaker 1: but his company, tremendous track record. You never hear you know,
• 1:14:44
  Speaker 1: he don't have to go to you know, Washington and
• 1:14:47
  Speaker 1: you know do what everybody else does.
• 1:14:49
  Speaker 2: He doesn't have to do that.
• 1:14:50
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that's that speaks a lot about him, right, Like
• 1:14:52
  Speaker 1: he's he's comfortable for who he is. He doesn't have
• 1:14:55
  Speaker 1: to try to pander to politicians or two people or
• 1:14:58
  Speaker 1: to anybody like that. Like you know, he just worries
• 1:15:01
  Speaker 1: about his shareholders, his employees.
• 1:15:04
  Speaker 2: That's it.
• 1:15:06
  Speaker 6: That's a tough one.
• 1:15:09
  Speaker 4: I'm going to say somebody that we definitely haven't met,
• 1:15:12
  Speaker 4: but inspired to me.
• 1:15:14
  Speaker 6: I'll say a legal Dangoti.
• 1:15:16
  Speaker 4: He's the wealthiest black man on the planet and he's
• 1:15:18
  Speaker 4: done it from the realms of.
• 1:15:24
  Speaker 6: Industrial power.
• 1:15:28
  Speaker 4: Ah and what most people think sports entertainment when they
• 1:15:32
  Speaker 4: think us, he's debunked that and so I would put him.
• 1:15:36
  Speaker 3: There perfect Well, thank you guys for coming on the pod.
• 1:15:41
  Speaker 5: Like I said, it's full circle. I haven't been back
• 1:15:45
  Speaker 5: on yet.
• 1:15:47
  Speaker 1: He was on Blackout. I was on Blackout, he was
• 1:15:49
  Speaker 1: on Alisha Best Fast. You want to come back on
• 1:15:53
  Speaker 1: earn Alesha.
• 1:15:54
  Speaker 5: If you want.
• 1:16:00
  Speaker 3: To make sure you check out earlease your podcasts by
• 1:16:04
  Speaker 3: deserve to be rich check out investments next week.
• 1:16:07
  Speaker 5: And thank you guys for coming by.
• 1:16:09
  Speaker 6: Appreciate we appreciate you having us.
• 1:16:11
  Speaker 3: Thank you all right, that was great hanging with Troy
• 1:16:13
  Speaker 3: and Rashad. Now it's time for Never Too Personal. If
• 1:16:15
  Speaker 3: you want to be a part of the show, you
• 1:16:16
  Speaker 3: can email us at two Personal Podcasts at gmail dot com,
• 1:16:19
  Speaker 3: or you can dm us on Instagram at Too Personal Show.
• 1:16:22
  Speaker 3: One of my closest friends never shows up for me
• 1:16:25
  Speaker 3: the way I show up for them. I feel drained,
• 1:16:27
  Speaker 3: but I don't want to lose a friendship. How do
• 1:16:29
  Speaker 3: I set boundaries without causing drama? Well, look, boundaries are
• 1:16:34
  Speaker 3: something that I've worked on my entire life. I'm still
• 1:16:40
  Speaker 3: developing my skill with boundaries and how to enforce them.
• 1:16:45
  Speaker 5: I would say, don't worry so much about the drama
• 1:16:47
  Speaker 5: part of it.
• 1:16:48
  Speaker 3: If you are not being treated the way that you
• 1:16:51
  Speaker 3: feel you deserve to be treated in this friendship, then
• 1:16:54
  Speaker 3: communicating with this person is essential and you cannot control
• 1:16:59
  Speaker 3: how someone reacts to what you say. And I think
• 1:17:01
  Speaker 3: a lot of times we avoid hard conversations or uncomfortable
• 1:17:05
  Speaker 3: conversations because we don't know how the person's going to react,
• 1:17:09
  Speaker 3: and we don't want to feel like we cause the problem,
• 1:17:12
  Speaker 3: so instead you just live in the problem that you
• 1:17:15
  Speaker 3: have and allow that person to continue treating you a
• 1:17:17
  Speaker 3: way that you don't want to be treated.
• 1:17:18
  Speaker 5: It really makes no sense.
• 1:17:20
  Speaker 3: Wouldn't you rather just have the uncomfortable conversation and perhaps
• 1:17:23
  Speaker 3: fix the friendship or learn that they don't really value
• 1:17:25
  Speaker 3: as a friend at all, and then you can stop
• 1:17:27
  Speaker 3: putting your time and energy into this person. I think
• 1:17:30
  Speaker 3: boundaries are essential to healthy relationships. There is no relationship
• 1:17:35
  Speaker 3: that you should have where there are no boundaries.
• 1:17:37
  Speaker 5: No matter what.
• 1:17:38
  Speaker 3: Anyone says to you, boundaries are healthy. Even if you
• 1:17:43
  Speaker 3: are in a long term marriage, boundaries with your parents,
• 1:17:47
  Speaker 3: boundaries with your children. They are essential to a healthy relationship.
• 1:17:52
  Speaker 3: Boundaries and friendship are essential to healthy friendships. So it's
• 1:17:56
  Speaker 3: good that you know that your boundaries are being stepped on.
• 1:17:58
  Speaker 3: But the conversation is just one that has to be had.
• 1:18:01
  Speaker 3: Drama is happening already, so you're better off finding out
• 1:18:05
  Speaker 3: if this person is your true friends or why they're
• 1:18:07
  Speaker 3: not treating you with the value.
• 1:18:08
  Speaker 5: And respect that you deserve. But this is a great question.
• 1:18:11
  Speaker 5: Thanks for writing in.
• 1:18:12
  Speaker 3: If you want to be a Part two Personal podcasts
• 1:18:14
  Speaker 3: at gmail dot com or follow us at two Personal Show.
• 1:18:17
  Speaker 5: Make sure that you subscribe and we'll catch you next week.