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Beek on being and QUICKIE QUESTIONS JULY 2026 · Beek on being

• 0:00
  Melissa Shere Beek: Hi. I'm Melissa Shere Beek from Beek on being, and we're mixing it up today. At the end of every episode, I ask my guests a different set of quickie questions. Here's a collection from some of our past episodes. I hope you enjoy.
• 0:13
  What are your top three values?
• 0:18
  Ruth Garber Shere: My family, God, and my religion.
• 0:27
  Melissa Shere Beek: Mhmm. Do you do you wish you had do you wanna give more? Is that what you want to do?
• 0:31
  Ruth Garber Shere: No. Those are those are them.
• 0:33
  had My family is my most important thing. It's constant. Yeah. Constant in my head. True.
• 0:40
  Yeah.
• 0:41
  Melissa Shere Beek: I think we all know that. Do you wish you had a do over in a conversation with someone? Or do you wish you had had a conversation with someone you never got the opportunity to?
• 0:53
  Ruth Garber Shere: In light of what we've talked about.
• 0:55
  X: Mhmm.
• 0:56
  Ruth Garber Shere: I wish I had visited my nanny, Rose, more. Your grandmother? My grandmother, because she was a widow. For a
• 1:06
  Melissa Shere Beek: very long time too.
• 1:07
  Ruth Garber Shere: For a very long time. And I wish that I had known Mhmm. Been smart enough Mhmm. Been intuitive enough Mhmm. A, have seen her all the time, or have had her move in with me.
• 1:26
  Melissa Shere Beek: Yeah. I hear that.
• 1:27
  Ruth Garber Shere: That that's the one thing I would go back on. Okay. And then having two more girls.
• 1:33
  Melissa Shere Beek: What brings you comfort?
• 1:37
  Ruth Garber Shere: You guys.
• 1:38
  Melissa Shere Beek: Okay.
• 1:38
  Ruth Garber Shere: I'm happiest when I'm with all of you. I mean, you could all move into my house, and I'd be I'd be a pig and you know what.
• 1:46
  Melissa Shere Beek: Okay. Last quickie question. What haven't you done yet that you want to?
• 1:58
  Ruth Garber Shere: There isn't much I haven't done in my life. I've been very blessed. I think I'm the luckiest person in the world. I do. Even though daddy passed, I still think I'm the luckiest person in the world because I had that, and I had you girls.
• 2:12
  I only wish for two more girls. Okay. I would wish for a home in Israel. Okay. That would be it.
• 2:21
  Okay. I I don't I I think I don't think I've missed on much.
• 2:26
  Melissa Shere Beek: Okay. Good. Okay. What motto do you
• 2:29
  Nikee Trespalacios: live by? Live and let live.
• 2:32
  Kim Miller: You can do hard things. Okay.
• 2:35
  Melissa Shere Beek: How do you handle stress?
• 2:38
  Nikee Trespalacios: Face to face, head on.
• 2:40
  Kim Miller: I dance. I dance. Yeah.
• 2:42
  Melissa Shere Beek: Oh, that's a good one. That's a good one. What makes you happy?
• 2:48
  Nikee Trespalacios: Is that the one answer?
• 2:50
  Melissa Shere Beek: Or Anything. You can make a list. I don't care. Food. Oh, yeah.
• 2:54
  Nikee Trespalacios: Nature, my dog, my husband. Peace, quiet, sanctity.
• 3:00
  Kim Miller: Peace and quiet. Just leaving the noise outside Yeah. And focusing on the present.
• 3:07
  Melissa Shere Beek: Yeah. A 100%. And what's one thing you do only for yourself, not for your children, for your spouse, not for anybody? Oh, you both took a pause and had to think about that. You both dropped your head to think about that.
• 3:20
  Kim Miller: We don't We don't typically about that.
• 3:23
  Melissa Shere Beek: Got so easy. And then when I said, what do you do for yourself? You both were like, Wait. What? Yeah.
• 3:29
  Think about it. What do you do for yourself and only for yourself?
• 3:33
  Kim Miller: Mine would have been dance. Yeah.
• 3:36
  Melissa Shere Beek: Oh, wow. I I do a lot for myself. I mean, it could be as simple as just taking a bath.
• 3:42
  X: Yeah. You
• 3:43
  Melissa Shere Beek: can make a list on this one too. You know, I've been into puzzles lately. Oh, has
• 3:46
  X: been Good one.
• 3:47
  Melissa Shere Beek: Also really good for the brain. Yeah. Would say. So elasticity. What's your go to dance jam?
• 4:09
  I'm into warm ups now. Actually, Lose Yourself was an anthem for me. Yeah. Eminem, Lose Yourself, I mean, I was just like They hit it hard. Every single word, you know.
• 4:21
  Oh, I felt It's like every single fucking word of that. Yeah.
• 4:24
  X: I love it.
• 4:24
  Melissa Shere Beek: I like everybody to listen to that music. Yeah. Oh, I love it. I've changed over time.
• 4:29
  Nikee Trespalacios: Now I like, this is me kind of Okay.
• 4:31
  Melissa Shere Beek: Warm up. Good one. Yeah. Yeah. I'm more into the warm ups these days.
• 4:35
  Kim Miller: Okay. I'm old school at Earth, Wind, and Fire.
• 4:39
  X: Oh, yeah.
• 4:39
  Kim Miller: Any of those old school Mariah Carey.
• 4:42
  Melissa Shere Beek: Yeah.
• 4:42
  Kim Miller: I don't know. Any of that stuff that I think it's just attached to memories for me too. That's important. Yeah. Happy music.
• 4:50
  Melissa Shere Beek: Yay. Thank you, girls. You survived. Was it scary? Go to jam you know, this is funny.
• 4:55
  It changes depending on the mood, but I think I texted you all at Red Lights on the way here. Yeah. I was and it was like a whole flashback of her dance class. We had Dancing With Myself was on, and then Maniac. And but I love like, I'm I like all the disco stuff.
• 5:13
  So I'm I'm been listening always to Donna Summer
• 5:16
  X: Mhmm.
• 5:16
  Melissa Shere Beek: Casey and Sunshine Band, Earth Wind and Fire, I love. So yeah. But also, Billy Joel. Yeah. And then when we were coming in today because we're all dressed in black, our our listeners can't see us.
• 5:27
  We were singing ACDC back in black and then, like, throwing our head back the way we do at dance class. Have a sack. It's been too long. Glad to be back. Would you mind telling us something that you've learned from either your students or your patients?
• 5:47
  Teresa Lesiuk: Okay. Well, yeah. Let's see. Yesterday, I was just watching some students. Use your energy.
• 5:53
  I I that just comes to mind. I was just watching the student working with actually, it was a community living center at the Miami VA. And I just loved her energy. And it was just so therapeutic in itself to with the music. You know?
• 6:08
  That's amazing. Use your energy.
• 6:10
  Melissa Shere Beek: Yeah. Yeah. It's a good one.
• 6:13
  Leah Goldstein: I would say for me, a big takeaway that I just get constantly is to try to try to stay positive.
• 6:24
  Melissa Shere Beek: I know it's
• 6:25
  Leah Goldstein: hard. But I have people who have Alzheimer's and are completely nonverbal. And you can tell if they were kind of bitter people or if they're pleasantly confused at the end. Because there's two ways that can go. You have the really happy, pleasantly confused Alzheimer's, and you can tell that there's other people who Angry.
• 6:41
  Didn't have the best yeah. The anger. Let it go. Life is not permanent and we're all gonna die. And we deserve a good death.
• 6:46
  And we also, like doctor Lesiak said, like, there's a one in nine chance, you know, there's a lot of neurological things that happen with our bodies. Let go. Yeah. And and and try to keep that hope. I think it's really important.
• 7:01
  Melissa Shere Beek: I think that's critical. I think hope is critical. Yeah. Yeah. Okay.
• 7:05
  Do you have a recent book that you've enjoyed or one that you like to recommend? There's one that I'm reading right now.
• 7:11
  Teresa Lesiuk: I think it's called something four weeks, four weeks. But it and it ties into how life is finite. And so the okay. Let me just think how does this go. So it's it's about the decision the the decisions you're making right now.
• 7:28
  Make sure those you want to be making those. Right. Right? And it's kind of along that that line. I like that.
• 7:33
  Heard it on a podcast.
• 7:35
  Melissa Shere Beek: I love it. Good. Alright.
• 7:37
  Leah Goldstein: I'm gonna absolutely blank on the name, but it's a book by Jodi Beekwelt. She's one of my favorite authors.
• 7:42
  Melissa Shere Beek: Okay.
• 7:42
  Leah Goldstein: And she actually it's a it's a book about someone who's a beekeeper
• 7:47
  Melissa Shere Beek: Uh-huh.
• 7:48
  Leah Goldstein: And uses some some types of like music therapy and stuff. She had a loss in her family. And, you know, how music has helped her cope. I'm completely blanking on the name. But if you look at Beek Beek on, it will come up.
• 8:00
  X: I'm sure.
• 8:01
  Melissa Shere Beek: She's she's a popular author. Okay. What do you think is your greatest strength? Compassion. Good one.
• 8:08
  Personality.
• 8:11
  Leah Goldstein: Yeah. I like that one.
• 8:12
  Melissa Shere Beek: Okay. And last question. What is your favorite memory? It could be a music memory or just any favorite memory because we're talking so much about the brain in music therapy
• 8:22
  X: today. I
• 8:23
  Teresa Lesiuk: don't know why this one just came up. Hiking in Colorado in Oh, wow. I don't know. It's just that was just flashed
• 8:32
  Melissa Shere Beek: in I visualize that. That's beautiful. Yeah.
• 8:38
  Leah Goldstein: One of my happy places is actually pretty similar, especially because we live here in Miami and it's always like one season as I used to grow spend spend our summers and winters in Long Island walking on the beach. Actually, Paul McCartney there one time just walking on the beach with his family. He was like, no one's gonna believe us. I don't have anything for you to say. But like, think some of my most peaceful memories are just being out there in nature.
• 9:01
  Nature.
• 9:01
  Melissa Shere Beek: The music. Well, it's healing.
• 9:03
  Leah Goldstein: The music in our heads. You know what I mean? That peace and that quiet.
• 9:06
  Melissa Shere Beek: Yeah. It's all healing.
• 9:07
  Leah Goldstein: Yeah. That's beautiful.
• 9:08
  Melissa Shere Beek: Thank you so much, ladies. I'm so honored that
• 9:11
  Leah Goldstein: you are here.
• 9:12
  Melissa Shere Beek: How do you show gratitude to yourself?
• 9:16
  X: Oh, I'm terrible at that. How do you show gratitude to yourself?
• 9:21
  Samantha Shere Sharpe: You know, this is very interesting you say this. It's not that I show gratitude to myself. I feel proud of myself. And I noticed it today, which is I thought it was very strange that you asked this. You know, in line today at Costco, I got in the wrong line, patiently waited, got out, went to the line, I waited.
• 9:43
  No big deal. The guy, when he finally helped me because I lost my card. I need a new card. He goes, were you in line for very long? I'm like, no.
• 9:52
  Not really. You know, I got in. And we were chitchatting and I did not care. And then I had to wait at some point. And I was just, thank you so very much.
• 10:01
  And I just was like very like, I felt like I was being myself in terms of thanking people for helping me. Thank you so much. Thank you. And a guy said, bless you to me. And I'm like, oh my gosh.
• 10:14
  Thank you so much. And I just kept saying to myself, I'm so nice today.
• 10:18
  Jessica Shere Coggins: So I was gonna say something along the lines. But but Like, I didn't honk at anyone on the way here or any of that or curse anyone out. So I was like, okay.
• 10:28
  Melissa Shere Beek: I did well today driving
• 10:29
  Samantha Shere Sharpe: But but this is me, but I was taking like, I'm I felt like I was
• 10:32
  Melissa Shere Beek: seeing But is more that showing gratitude to yourself?
• 10:34
  Samantha Shere Sharpe: Do you A guys feel that mental note to myself, like, I'm I'm good today. Not and I'm not ever I don't feel like I'm ever really rude. Maybe sometimes I am. But I felt like I was paying more attention to like, being appreciate to appreciative to other like Right. Like, I hope and I think I said You were more in carrying
• 10:52
  Melissa Shere Beek: your baggage and letting it out on random
• 10:54
  Samantha Shere Sharpe: like it was more in a way like, I hope other people are doing the same thing that I'm doing
• 10:57
  Jessica Shere Coggins: right to pass it on.
• 10:58
  Samantha Shere Sharpe: Yeah. And Yeah. I felt like I was not proud of myself because I usually always am, but I made a mental note, you really like thanking people today more. I usually do, like, when they hold to open the door, say thank you so much. Know, when they don't open the door, go
• 11:13
  Melissa Shere Beek: Gratitude is my number one thing. Always so conscientious to be
• 11:18
  Samantha Shere Sharpe: I don't how do I show I really don't feel like I need to show gratitude towards myself. I just hope I'm always being good to everybody, not
• 11:28
  Melissa Shere Beek: just Yes. That's everybody. But I feel like, especially like in today's discussion, you're very hard on yourself. You get in your head about a lot of things. So I was thinking like, maybe there's some way you can just just show gratitude to yourself.
• 11:43
  Samantha Shere Sharpe: You know what? It's not that. I feel appreciative that in this case, in case that what we discussed, that my husband had my back. And I felt like I'm so thankful and grateful to have him that Okay. That's great support.
• 12:01
  Melissa Shere Beek: But for you personally. Know. Jess, what about you?
• 12:05
  Jessica Shere Coggins: Don't think I give myself gratitude. I just don't think about it. Okay.
• 12:09
  Samantha Shere Sharpe: Okay. I don't know. I know. It's a huge question. What about you?
• 12:12
  You don't you don't you buy yourself a new pair shoes.
• 12:15
  Melissa Shere Beek: When did
• 12:15
  Jessica Shere Coggins: ever ask her anything?
• 12:16
  Melissa Shere Beek: Oh, love shoes. I love shoes. No. But that's not how I show I love
• 12:20
  X: Yeah. Shoes and
• 12:22
  Melissa Shere Beek: Yeah. No. How do I show gratitude to myself? Gosh. Do you?
• 12:29
  Samantha Shere Sharpe: I don't think
• 12:30
  Melissa Shere Beek: I think I do. I think I I think I show gratitude to my body. I think you do too. I think I show gratitude to my body in the way that I I say thank you, like when I get up in the morning and when I go to bed at night. I always I I'm grateful that I'm able-bodied and sound mind, and that's the biggest thing in my self talk is that, like, I am fortunate enough, poo poo pooed, get up every day, walk, dance Yeah.
• 13:03
  Do come here. I I have choices.
• 13:09
  Jessica Shere Coggins: You make you do
• 13:10
  Melissa Shere Beek: And I feel like that I am appreciative that my brain and body allow me to do all that stuff. So I think that's the way I show gratitude. Great way. Like, not in purchases, but in, like, the talk that I have, like, god talk, I call it. But, you know, and into the universe.
• 13:27
  That's what I sort of that's how I show it. I mean, come on. Pick a good one.
• 13:36
  Samantha Shere Sharpe: Go ahead.
• 13:36
  Jessica Shere Coggins: How do you relax?
• 13:38
  Melissa Shere Beek: That's perfect for today. That's so perfect for this week. Go ahead. Tell us how do you relax.
• 13:46
  Jessica Shere Coggins: I I for me, I guess, relaxing is taking a bath and then getting into bed and watching Netflix.
• 13:51
  Melissa Shere Beek: Okay. That's works. I relax. That's fine.
• 13:54
  Jessica Shere Coggins: Alright. Sam, you pick one. Or massages. Oh.
• 13:56
  Samantha Shere Sharpe: But I
• 13:57
  Jessica Shere Coggins: need that to put like my body back. It's not because for luxury.
• 14:00
  Melissa Shere Beek: Well, what you do with your body affects your brain.
• 14:02
  Jessica Shere Coggins: Right. So Yeah. I I like my shoulders, my neck, it just gets me back. Got it. I stand up a little straighter.
• 14:09
  Samantha Shere Sharpe: Am I supposed to
• 14:10
  Melissa Shere Beek: answer No. That We're just answering another one. What? She's picking another one.
• 14:16
  Samantha Shere Sharpe: Oh, shit. Wait. I don't have glasses on. This is pathetic. Yeah.
• 14:22
  When do you lie?
• 14:24
  Melissa Shere Beek: Oh. Oh. Is that another session? Another sister session?
• 14:30
  Samantha Shere Sharpe: Really really try not to. Yeah. Really really really really I
• 14:36
  Melissa Shere Beek: have one lie. I try never ever ever lie. One lie. I have to interject this to Sam because specifically It's dealt with it's it's such a lie. And I and I was so I can't believe I came up with it so quick, and I did it.
• 14:52
  But
• 14:52
  Samantha Shere Sharpe: I But surprise it's party?
• 14:53
  Melissa Shere Beek: No. Oh, well, no. I that was another lie. Samantha gave birth to Aiden. And my kids were this is so bad, but it was so good.
• 15:03
  And I and I never lie. Never only time I ever like do a little fib is like, if someone's asking me something like how they look, and then I don't wanna like Right.
• 15:12
  Jessica Shere Coggins: Run away. Okay. That kind That's
• 15:13
  Melissa Shere Beek: a white Okay. Yes. But this was a this was a flat out live. It was and my kids were like because I always they were very, very little at the time. And I don't know, four
• 15:23
  Samantha Shere Sharpe: and 23.
• 15:26
  Melissa Shere Beek: Okay. So they were like seven and five. Okay. And they were doing a show at school, and you went into labor and had Aiden. And immediately after the show, I grabbed them, and we all ran to the hospital.
• 15:38
  And I get to the window of the birth and labor thing. And I said to the guy, oh, I'm here to see, you know, my sister. She did that baby. I'm so excited. And he's like, okay, fine.
• 15:49
  And he gave me like a little sticker to put on, and he's like but they pointing to the girls, he's like, but they can't come in. They're not over 11. And I stood there for
• 15:58
  Jessica Shere Coggins: a second. I was like They're Sam's kids. Yeah.
• 16:00
  Melissa Shere Beek: I said, they're hers from her first marriage.
• 16:03
  Jessica Shere Coggins: I've heard this. It's great.
• 16:04
  Melissa Shere Beek: And he said, okay. Yeah. Sure. Go on through. And as I'm running through the labor and delivery place to get to your room, the kids are like, mama.
• 16:13
  Mama, what? So I was like, I tried to explain to them, kids, we never lie. No, you're actually mine. It's daddy and you, you know, you're gonna be able it was so funny, but they're like, mama. Because one, I lied and I told them that
• 16:27
  Jessica Shere Coggins: you never were do that. Then
• 16:28
  Melissa Shere Beek: like, wait a minute, mama, what? And so so, but
• 16:31
  Jessica Shere Coggins: so anytime
• 16:32
  Melissa Shere Beek: I think about a lie, I think about that and I'm like, oh god. It was like a whole
• 16:36
  Samantha Shere Sharpe: can of worms. But yeah. I don't remember that story.
• 16:39
  Melissa Shere Beek: Yeah. Well, I remember a lot of things. Were you were just gave birth. You I was running down the hall.
• 16:43
  Samantha Shere Sharpe: I don't remember a lot.
• 16:43
  Melissa Shere Beek: Alright. We're gonna get you out to your kids.
• 16:46
  Samantha Shere Sharpe: Wait. Wait. We got two minutes. Go pick one more.
• 16:48
  Jessica Shere Coggins: Oh. Four eight. Okay.
• 16:49
  Melissa Shere Beek: Two more minutes. Listen, it's your time.
• 16:50
  Teresa Lesiuk: I know. Know.
• 16:52
  Melissa Shere Beek: She just likes the bag. It's the bag
• 16:54
  Jessica Shere Coggins: of tricks. Oh, I thought you were saying some I'm like, what?
• 16:57
  Melissa Shere Beek: No. The questions. The the big I don't I can't see.
• 16:59
  Samantha Shere Sharpe: I know. This is so pathetic.
• 17:00
  Melissa Shere Beek: Ladies, use your glasses. I know. Oh, god. Oh, god. These are really good.
• 17:06
  Okay. What is it?
• 17:07
  Jessica Shere Coggins: What would you say to your 12 year old self?
• 17:08
  Melissa Shere Beek: That's a good one.
• 17:11
  Samantha Shere Sharpe: Everything's gonna
• 17:12
  Jessica Shere Coggins: be I I can or I cry. Yeah. Kinda along the lines of that. Like, it will be okay.
• 17:17
  Melissa Shere Beek: That's what I said
• 17:18
  Jessica Shere Coggins: to you the other Aw.
• 17:21
  Melissa Shere Beek: Is. It's all gonna be okay. You want a tissue?
• 17:25
  Samantha Shere Sharpe: No. No. Jess, and I'm not gonna expose anything. I am so proud of you this week. I really, really, really am.
• 17:35
  Melissa Shere Beek: Thank you. Like My little sister is a fucking rock star.
• 17:39
  Samantha Shere Sharpe: No. Like, seriously, Jess?
• 17:42
  Melissa Shere Beek: We can't divulge some things in public, but she is the bravest Beyond. Strongest, little sparkle fart I've ever known.
• 17:50
  Jessica Shere Coggins: You got I wouldn't be able
• 17:52
  Melissa Shere Beek: to do without you guys. No.
• 17:53
  Samantha Shere Sharpe: No. No. You really have like I mean, yeah. You're amazing. So I We're gonna leave
• 17:59
  Jessica Shere Coggins: it at But that's what I would.
• 18:00
  Melissa Shere Beek: Is what I told you to do?
• 18:01
  X: Go back and
• 18:02
  Melissa Shere Beek: say. You're okay? It's gonna be okay.
• 18:04
  X: It will be okay.
• 18:04
  Samantha Shere Sharpe: Oh my god. This is a hard one.
• 18:06
  Melissa Shere Beek: Oh, Samantha.
• 18:07
  Jessica Shere Coggins: She picked one out. You always. Go ahead. Listen.
• 18:10
  Samantha Shere Sharpe: Do you wish you had a do over in a conversation or with a person?
• 18:15
  X: I don't.
• 18:15
  Samantha Shere Sharpe: Oh, my god, daddy.
• 18:17
  Jessica Shere Coggins: Oh, no. I don't. No.
• 18:19
  Melissa Shere Beek: What did you not say to daddy? No. Want like
• 18:21
  Jessica Shere Coggins: the do like being able Oh, talk to me
• 18:24
  Melissa Shere Beek: you wanna yeah.
• 18:25
  Samantha Shere Sharpe: I wanna be able to talk to me about all this shit I talked to him all
• 18:28
  X: day long.
• 18:29
  Samantha Shere Sharpe: With do I have a duo? That that would be my conversation.
• 18:32
  Jessica Shere Coggins: But don't you talk
• 18:33
  Melissa Shere Beek: to him, like, into the universe talk to him?
• 18:35
  Samantha Shere Sharpe: Do. I
• 18:37
  Melissa Shere Beek: do. I say things to him.
• 18:39
  Jessica Shere Coggins: I do. I mean, again, don't know what I believe, but I do. I think it because it makes me just feel better.
• 18:44
  Melissa Shere Beek: Yeah. So if that's it, then
• 18:46
  Samantha Shere Sharpe: that's mean, great. I yeah. But I can't there is another person I would have had a duo of a conversation with, but I I cannot air it here. Okay.
• 18:54
  X: Well,
• 18:54
  Samantha Shere Sharpe: let's And I don't know if I would have a do over conversation. Do I know the initials? I wish I wish things had gone differently in a conversation that I had with somebody. I'm not sure that that person would have done anything different. Alright.
• 19:09
  Does that make sense?
• 19:10
  Melissa Shere Beek: Yes. A 100%. Okay.
• 19:11
  Jessica Shere Coggins: You would have changed it for yourself. Wouldn't have changed the outcome for the other person, maybe.
• 19:16
  Samantha Shere Sharpe: You know, I was given a heads up that this hap this would be the way the conversation was go and I didn't believe it. So I went in very, I guess I would say innocently when I really should have been a little bit more of like firm. Got it. And I yeah.
• 19:34
  Melissa Shere Beek: Okay. So that's our firm end because your kids are Boom. Blowing up your phones. What brings you comfort?
• 19:43
  Rabbi Ed Farber: What brings me cover? My I have 15 grandchildren and three great grandchildren.
• 19:47
  Melissa Shere Beek: Oh, that's the best.
• 19:49
  Rabbi Ed Farber: That's the best.
• 19:50
  Melissa Shere Beek: That's the best. Do you have a mantra that you live by?
• 19:55
  Rabbi Ed Farber: Oh, that's interesting. Do I have a mantra that I live by? Well, I would say, yes. Do your best.
• 20:03
  Melissa Shere Beek: Okay. Good one. I like that. Do your best.
• 20:05
  Rabbi Ed Farber: Once you did your best, it may not be the best, but you did your best.
• 20:08
  Melissa Shere Beek: But you tried. Okay. What's the most important thing that you've learned?
• 20:13
  Rabbi Ed Farber: Well, the most important thing I learned is from my mother and my father too, but mainly my mother. And that is is that you have to have an enormous tolerance and understand understanding of other people and where they're coming from. It's kind of like, you know, you got to walk in their shoes.
• 20:31
  Melissa Shere Beek: Doctor. Yeah, perspective.
• 20:32
  Rabbi Ed Farber: Doctor. You have to have a tremendous patience and understanding because you're not in their shoes and you cannot be judgmental. There are times when, okay, they go over the line, you have to be judgmental. But if not, you have to understand what's going on and be as patient and as understanding and accepting as you possibly can be.
• 20:50
  Melissa Shere Beek: Wow. That's beautiful and powerful at the same time. Incredible. Okay. One last one.
• 20:55
  Rabbi Ed Farber: Yeah.
• 20:56
  Melissa Shere Beek: Do you have any superstitious beliefs or rituals?
• 21:02
  Rabbi Ed Farber: Pure rationalist. You know, to me
• 21:04
  Melissa Shere Beek: Pure rationalist. I love it.
• 21:05
  Rabbi Ed Farber: It's all fascinating, but there's nothing that if I don't do it, I think, oh my goodness. You know, created a prop. I didn't do it exactly that way. It it in spite of the fact, I love ritual. I mean, I do a Jewish thing.
• 21:18
  This fascinates me and we do the Seder. I know I once switched Haggadah's. Haggadah's, for those who may not know, is the book that guides us to the seder, and there are hundreds upon hundreds of different editions. And I decided after, like, twenty five years, I was gonna switch to a modern one. I forgot to ask my daughter.
• 21:35
  Melissa Shere Beek: I was gonna say that was a big move.
• 21:37
  Rabbi Ed Farber: Now my daughter, who agreed to Haggadah, you know, fluently, wouldn't matter which Haggadah, and who is a mathematics professor who wrote her PhD on theoretical math
• 21:48
  Melissa Shere Beek: Wow.
• 21:49
  Rabbi Ed Farber: Could not believe that I changed that ritual.
• 21:52
  Melissa Shere Beek: The audacity.
• 21:53
  Rabbi Ed Farber: She says, when I open the page, it's supposed to be a mind stain there.
• 21:58
  Melissa Shere Beek: Yeah. There's marks Yes.
• 22:00
  Rabbi Ed Farber: And of love. Yeah. I said, but the English is all she says, exactly. We do that English every single year the way grandma you know, Softha and Softha did
• 22:08
  Melissa Shere Beek: it. Yes.
• 22:09
  Rabbi Ed Farber: And the way I did it when I was five years old, and you're changing it. How could you do that? Yeah. There's no more rational.
• 22:14
  Melissa Shere Beek: I feel her pain.
• 22:16
  Rabbi Ed Farber: She's a mathematician. She's a 100% rational.
• 22:18
  Melissa Shere Beek: It doesn't matter. I feel her pain. My mother switched to goddess after twenty five, thirty years, and we were devastated.
• 22:23
  Rabbi Ed Farber: Exactly. Right. So I like to do the same thing. I I stick with the same things. I'm married.
• 22:29
  X: Got it.
• 22:30
  Rabbi Ed Farber: Married, I think, fifty five years. I gotta
• 22:32
  Melissa Shere Beek: do Wonderful.
• 22:33
  Rabbi Ed Farber: Right? I drive I still drive a Studebaker as a hobby.
• 22:37
  Melissa Shere Beek: I love it.
• 22:37
  Rabbi Ed Farber: They don't change things.
• 22:39
  X: Okay.
• 22:39
  Rabbi Ed Farber: Not because I think if I change it, I'm gonna cause damage. It's because they bring me comfort.
• 22:44
  Melissa Shere Beek: Got it. Got it. Aw, thank you so much. I appreciate it.
• 22:48
  Rabbi Ed Farber: My pleasure. Thank you so much for inviting me. Thank