Latest / Healing Her Story with Riva Jean-Paul / Your Body Isn't A Problem to Be Optimized

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Your Body Isn't A Problem to Be Optimized · Healing Her Story with Riva Jean-Paul

• 1:37
  SPEAKER_00: Hello and welcome to today's episode of the Healing Her Story Podcast.
• 1:44
  SPEAKER_00: Today I'm coming to you with a solo episode.
• 1:49
  SPEAKER_00: And as we are moving through Virgo season, today's episode is very much inspired by some of the themes of Virgo.
• 1:59
  SPEAKER_00: However, I'm doing something a little different this season.
• 2:04
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm not only sharing some of the themes that are most common or maybe most admirable or desirable about this season.
• 2:20
  SPEAKER_00: I also wanted to bring in what I would call the shadow aspect of this particular energy that we're working with right now.
• 2:32
  SPEAKER_00: So for the next two episodes, I'm going to take this different approach and we're going to be talking about some of the shadow sides of Virgo.
• 2:44
  SPEAKER_00: Now, just to be clear, these episodes aren't specifically about Virgo.
• 2:51
  SPEAKER_00: And they're not just for those with Virgo placements.
• 2:56
  SPEAKER_00: This is more of a conversation, and next week's conversation will be as well around the things that I've seen in others and in myself, of course, and how the season of Virgo may bring these patterns into our awareness.
• 3:15
  SPEAKER_00: It gives us the opportunity to reflect on how they might be showing up within ourselves.
• 3:25
  SPEAKER_00: So today we're going to be talking about the body not being a problem to optimize.
• 3:34
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm going to invite you to take a moment, come into a place of more presence, whatever that may look like for you today, and to just notice how this phrase lands in your system.
• 3:52
  SPEAKER_00: Your body isn't a problem to optimize.
• 4:15
  SPEAKER_00: For me, even as I said those words out loud, I noticed my um sort of what I would call like my root or the base of my spine sort of like drop down into the chair underneath me more.
• 4:30
  SPEAKER_00: I also noticed myself take a deeper breath.
• 4:36
  SPEAKER_00: And to me, this is a sign that my system is softening, that it's settling.
• 4:46
  SPEAKER_00: And to me, that gives me permission.
• 4:50
  SPEAKER_00: This statement gives me permission to relax.
• 4:54
  SPEAKER_00: And it invites me into a different kind of relationship with my body.
• 5:02
  SPEAKER_00: Now I know that this can be much easier said than done.
• 5:08
  SPEAKER_00: Especially if you're experiencing symptoms across your menstrual cycle or symptoms from autoimmune conditions or chronic pain, painful periods, histamine issues, like so many women I've been speaking with recently.
• 5:25
  SPEAKER_00: I know for myself, too, when I've experienced things like anxiety, I'll often move quickly into this is an indication that something is wrong and I need to fix it or make it go away.
• 5:43
  SPEAKER_00: And that simple act of wanting to make everything or something in your body go away actually creates a sense of this unsafe environment inside.
• 6:00
  SPEAKER_00: Because we're not allowing our bodies to be as they are.
• 6:07
  SPEAKER_00: We're not giving ourselves the time and the space to experience and be with our bodies exactly as they are.
• 6:19
  SPEAKER_00: Now, if we're on a healing path, there are absolutely going to be things we want to shift, change, and grow through.
• 6:28
  SPEAKER_00: There's nothing wrong with that.
• 6:31
  SPEAKER_00: However, it can become a slippery slope when we're constantly managing our own experience towards some state of what we believe is more optimal.
• 6:46
  SPEAKER_00: Whatever optimal means.
• 6:50
  SPEAKER_00: That constant managing can actually be quite damaging to our psyches and our systems.
• 6:58
  SPEAKER_00: It can also erode the confidence and the trust that we have in ourselves and in our own bodies.
• 7:09
  SPEAKER_00: Why is this relevant for right now?
• 7:11
  SPEAKER_00: Well, a shadow side of Virgo is perfectionism.
• 7:18
  SPEAKER_00: And that's what's inspired this conversation today, because I think that for so many of us, when we're trying to fix or manage or change something about ourselves, we are essentially trying to be perfect, whatever that means.
• 7:37
  SPEAKER_00: But what if, I know this might sound a little cliche, but what if you were perfect exactly as you are?
• 7:49
  SPEAKER_00: Now that's not to say that there aren't things that are uncomfortable, undesirable, or challenging, but what it can do is maybe give us permission to just be as we are.
• 8:05
  SPEAKER_00: What's really supported me with this is coming to this understanding of somatic psychology.
• 8:16
  SPEAKER_00: The idea that our system works as a whole.
• 8:21
  SPEAKER_00: I emphasize a lot in my work returning to the body, connecting with the body, being in the body.
• 8:31
  SPEAKER_00: However, that's not to say that the body takes a precedent over the mind.
• 8:37
  SPEAKER_00: They're both equal parts of the whole.
• 8:42
  SPEAKER_00: When we start to see the different layers of ourselves, of our systems, our physical body, our emotional body, our mental body, our spiritual body, it can do a few things.
• 8:56
  SPEAKER_00: It can one bring us into a state of wholeness because you are whole and complete just as you are.
• 9:06
  SPEAKER_00: And two, it starts to dissolve the hierarchy that we sometimes place on ourselves and on our systems that make us up.
• 9:18
  SPEAKER_00: So many of us think, I think, in our cultural Western uh culture, that the mind is more intelligent than the body.
• 9:30
  SPEAKER_00: However, when we let that hierarchy dissolve, it creates more space for the intelligence of the body to come through.
• 9:42
  SPEAKER_00: There are alternate, uh, excuse me, alternative healing philosophies that see symptoms as signs of health.
• 9:55
  SPEAKER_00: And I'll say that again.
• 9:56
  SPEAKER_00: Symptoms are signs of health.
• 10:03
  SPEAKER_00: Just noticing how that might land for you.
• 10:06
  SPEAKER_00: I personally get some little goosebumps on my arms, which is my system letting me know you're on to something.
• 10:15
  SPEAKER_00: Now, your body's only job really is to keep you safe and to keep you alive.
• 10:24
  SPEAKER_00: And so through that lens, can we see that nothing the body does is random or an accident?
• 10:36
  SPEAKER_00: It might not be functional, it might not be something you enjoy, it might get in the way of your plans and expectations, but it's your body communicating with you.
• 10:54
  SPEAKER_00: Symptoms are actually a sign that your body is working.
• 11:02
  SPEAKER_00: Because when a symptom shows up, it's usually the body trying to protect you or keep you safe or keep you alive.
• 11:12
  SPEAKER_00: That's really it.
• 11:15
  SPEAKER_00: Pain, disease, anxiety.
• 11:20
  SPEAKER_00: These aren't problems to be solved, but rather they are messages from your system.
• 11:30
  SPEAKER_00: This actually lines up with something um with some research on introsphen, interoception.
• 11:40
  SPEAKER_00: And this is how our brain senses and interprets, interpret interprets, interprets, it's a weird word.
• 11:49
  SPEAKER_00: Umtrosception is how the brain senses and interprets signals from inside the body.
• 12:01
  SPEAKER_00: So research on that shows that these internal signals aren't just noise.
• 12:09
  SPEAKER_00: They really are ongoing moment-to-moment ways of communicating between the body and the brain.
• 12:17
  SPEAKER_00: And this shapes our emotion, our sense of safety, and our regulation.
• 12:25
  SPEAKER_00: Scientists studying it describe the body as constantly sending a signal.
• 12:31
  SPEAKER_00: The brain is built to receive.
• 12:36
  SPEAKER_00: So rather than seeing these signals as things that we need to make go away or change, we can see them as one beautiful, wise, adaptive, protective strategies our system runs without us even asking it to.
• 12:58
  SPEAKER_00: Amazing.
• 13:01
  SPEAKER_00: And two as messages.
• 13:04
  SPEAKER_00: Ones that might take some time to understand.
• 13:08
  SPEAKER_00: However, we can lean in and we can learn to read with the right time, with the right space, and the right tools.
• 13:19
  SPEAKER_00: If we can meet what's emerging inside with an openness, a curiosity, a neutral perspective, that right there creates psychological and emotional safety inside.
• 13:38
  SPEAKER_00: And as the body receives those signals of safety, as you stop trying to judge, change, fix, or make the experience go away, and instead slow down and do your best to listen and understand, your body begins to open up and it begins to speak even more.
• 14:04
  SPEAKER_00: At least this has been my experience.
• 14:09
  SPEAKER_00: It can share insights, memories, words of wisdom, clear answers that can inform how you move forward in your life.
• 14:21
  SPEAKER_00: And more often than not, those answers don't come from the thinking mind.
• 14:30
  SPEAKER_00: They come from the depths of the soma, the intelligence that goes far beyond what the mind can comprehend.
• 14:41
  SPEAKER_00: I'll give you an example.
• 14:43
  SPEAKER_00: Think of the last time you had a cut and how it healed itself in its own perfect time and way.
• 14:55
  SPEAKER_00: There's an intelligence there, something my teacher calls a healing intelligence.
• 15:02
  SPEAKER_00: And that healing intelligence lives inside all of us.
• 15:07
  SPEAKER_00: It knows exactly how to heal.
• 15:11
  SPEAKER_00: It knows exactly how to change.
• 15:14
  SPEAKER_00: It knows how to let go all on its own.
• 15:19
  SPEAKER_00: So much of the healing process for me hasn't been about changing or optimizing or fixing anything.
• 15:29
  SPEAKER_00: It's really been about giving my body the time and the space and the right tools for its own somatic healing intelligence to do what it needs to do.
• 15:42
  SPEAKER_00: Now, I know this might sound oversimplified because I do want to name that there are things that can be far more complex than just let the body do what it needs to do.
• 15:56
  SPEAKER_00: And through the lens of trauma-informed and somatic work that I do with my clients, this is what guides me.
• 16:05
  SPEAKER_00: This understanding that the healing intelligence lives within you.
• 16:12
  SPEAKER_00: And your body knows exactly what she needs.
• 16:17
  SPEAKER_00: She knows exactly what to do.
• 16:19
  SPEAKER_00: She just needs to be given the right time and the space to do so.
• 16:27
  SPEAKER_00: Now, I know that this can be much easier said than done.
• 16:32
  SPEAKER_00: We have to unwind ourselves from the conditioning of a society that tells women their bodies are problems to be solved.
• 16:41
  SPEAKER_00: Things to be optimized through things like Botox and Ozimpic and red light masks or whatever other wellness fad your algorithm is feeding you right now.
• 16:56
  SPEAKER_00: That conditioning can constantly make us feel like we're missing something.
• 17:02
  SPEAKER_00: Like we need to look outside of ourselves to become better, to be loved, to be accepted.
• 17:11
  SPEAKER_00: Look, this is extremely oppressive, especially for women.
• 17:18
  SPEAKER_00: And I think that's why so many of us stay stuck in these loops of constantly changing, fixing, and optimizing ourselves with the next best thing.
• 17:30
  SPEAKER_00: Now, I can only speak to this because I've lived it.
• 17:36
  SPEAKER_00: And I won't lie to you.
• 17:39
  SPEAKER_00: I've been caught in this trap myself.
• 17:42
  SPEAKER_00: Every full moon for many years, I was looking at my limiting beliefs and all the things I need to let go of and all the things I wanted to change.
• 17:51
  SPEAKER_00: All of which, by the way, I was doing with my mind.
• 17:56
  SPEAKER_00: And it's interesting because I found that the more I tried to force those things to happen with my mind, with my will, the less things changed and moved forward.
• 18:09
  SPEAKER_00: In fact, I experienced a lot of friction and a lot of frustration through that process, constantly trying to fix and change myself.
• 18:20
  SPEAKER_00: Even as someone who understands this pattern, I still find myself slipping into it every now and then.
• 18:27
  SPEAKER_00: Like when I first got my Mira hormone tracking device and started checking my hormone levels every single day when I first got it.
• 18:37
  SPEAKER_00: If one day wasn't in the optimal range, I would start spiraling a little bit.
• 18:43
  SPEAKER_00: I'd be thinking, oh gosh, what's wrong?
• 18:45
  SPEAKER_00: Why is my estrogen so high?
• 18:47
  SPEAKER_00: Why is my FSH so high?
• 18:49
  SPEAKER_00: Oh my gosh, this is that my ovarian reserve is low.
• 18:52
  SPEAKER_00: Oh my God, what am I gonna do if my ovarian reserve is low and I'm trying to have babies?
• 18:55
  SPEAKER_00: What do I need to do to get my ovarian?
• 18:57
  SPEAKER_00: Do you feel the energy of that?
• 19:02
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 19:04
  SPEAKER_00: It's very active.
• 19:07
  SPEAKER_00: It's almost kind of fear-based for me.
• 19:12
  SPEAKER_00: That's how I experienced that.
• 19:16
  SPEAKER_00: Now I'm incredibly grateful to have someone on my support team that I could work through this with.
• 19:36
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe they're giving you information.
• 19:40
  SPEAKER_00: And what if your levels are right for you for where you are right now?
• 19:51
  SPEAKER_00: And when I can look at it in this way, seeing it as nothing more than information, sure, I can explore ways to support myself as needed, but I found that the spiral spiraling into I'm broken or my hormones need to be fixed, it wasn't helpful, just created a lot more stress.
• 20:17
  SPEAKER_00: I noticed myself kind of slipping back into that cycle, and I was able to bring awareness to it, and it changed the way I started using the app.
• 20:30
  SPEAKER_00: I stopped checking it every single day.
• 20:35
  SPEAKER_00: And I stopped looking at that information and going right into trying to change or optimize the levels in some way.
• 20:46
  SPEAKER_00: Rather, I began taking the data in as good information and instead started getting curious about what my body might be trying to tell me, what might be underneath the numbers, what my body might need to feel more supported in order to see those levels that are more optimal.
• 21:14
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm continuing to explore this and follow this.
• 21:21
  SPEAKER_00: And my hormone device is something that I use simply as a tool now, but not a barometer of how my whole system is doing, if that makes sense.
• 21:35
  SPEAKER_00: It's just a little piece of the pie, and it gives me some information that I can explore and take in from this neutral way.
• 21:48
  SPEAKER_00: Now, what was helpful for me was thinking about this idea of experimentation.
• 21:55
  SPEAKER_00: This is a reframe that you can maybe play with if you're resonating with this conversation.
• 22:01
  SPEAKER_00: Because I think the idea of experimentation can take some of the pressure off.
• 22:08
  SPEAKER_00: When we experiment, we're not assuming that something is definitely going to work out a certain way.
• 22:14
  SPEAKER_00: It invites in that sense of curiosity and almost a little bit of play because we're just trying and ooh, let me let me do this and see what happens.
• 22:25
  SPEAKER_00: We can experiment with things, see if it feels supportive, see if it helps.
• 22:32
  SPEAKER_00: And if it doesn't, that's okay.
• 22:36
  SPEAKER_00: It doesn't mean that anything's wrong with us.
• 22:40
  SPEAKER_00: It simply just might not be the right tool or the right time or the right season for what you're offering.
• 22:49
  SPEAKER_00: And if we can just take that in and think, huh, this isn't working the way I thought it would, what else might work?
• 23:00
  SPEAKER_00: What else could I try?
• 23:03
  SPEAKER_00: Or maybe just sitting with the fact that that things aren't working the way you wanted, because maybe you had an unrealistic expectation around them.
• 23:15
  SPEAKER_00: These are all things I'm inviting you to explore, consider, and track, especially as we're moving through the last of eclipse season.
• 23:27
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm gonna leave you with some closing reflection questions.
• 23:32
  SPEAKER_00: And the invitation is to maybe sit with these over the next several.
• 23:37
  SPEAKER_00: Weeks as we move through the rest of Virgo season?
• 23:43
  SPEAKER_00: Do I see my body as a problem to be solved?
• 23:50
  SPEAKER_00: Do I treat myself like a project to be perfected?
• 23:58
  SPEAKER_00: How do I react or respond when an experience of discomfort arises inside me?
• 24:07
  SPEAKER_00: Do I quickly try to make it go away?
• 24:11
  SPEAKER_00: Do I push through and try to pretend it's not happening?
• 24:17
  SPEAKER_00: Or am I able to take even just a brief moment to acknowledge it?
• 24:25
  SPEAKER_00: Am I open to learning the language of my body?
• 24:32
  SPEAKER_00: If today's episode and theme resonated with you, I'm going to invite you to leave a rating or a review.
• 24:41
  SPEAKER_00: We're coming up on about a year and a half of the show, and it's been so lovely to see so many of you returning to our Monday episodes.
• 24:50
  SPEAKER_00: That really does seem to be where most of you are tuning in.
• 24:55
  SPEAKER_00: With all the growth, we are honestly still at a point where we want this work to reach further, to land in the ears of the women who are meant to hear it.
• 25:07
  SPEAKER_00: And honestly, that can't happen without support.
• 25:12
  SPEAKER_00: So if you've been here for a while and you've really been getting value from the show, one of the best things you could do both to help the show grow and to give me the feedback that I need to keep making it is to leave a rating and review.
• 25:31
  SPEAKER_00: Especially if you leave a review letting others know how the show has helped you and what kind of impact it's had on your life.
• 25:42
  SPEAKER_00: If you're feeling a little shy about it, I get it.
• 25:45
  SPEAKER_00: I know we're all busy.
• 25:47
  SPEAKER_00: I know reviews take time.
• 25:49
  SPEAKER_00: But honestly, even just a few sentences would do.
• 25:54
  SPEAKER_00: And if that's not the right way for you to support the show, that's okay.
• 25:58
  SPEAKER_00: Sharing this episode with a friend who could benefit from it works too.
• 26:04
  SPEAKER_00: You could send it to a friend and say, hey, I listened to this today and thought of you.
• 26:10
  SPEAKER_00: And maybe you too can have a follow-up conversation about it.
• 26:15
  SPEAKER_00: Your support and continued listening and presence for the show is so appreciated.
• 26:22
  SPEAKER_00: I hope that you found today's conversation thought-provoking in some ways.
• 26:30
  SPEAKER_00: And if it touched something inside of you, the invitation as we're ending here is to take really good care of what might emerge, what might have emerged.
• 26:42
  SPEAKER_00: And if it feels supportive, continuing to reflect on those questions over the coming weeks.
• 26:50
  SPEAKER_00: And I'll be back in a couple more Fridays with another solo episode on another more shadowy aspect of ourselves and of Virgo that we may be experiencing at this time.
• 27:05
  SPEAKER_00: So I'll very much look forward to connecting with you then.
• 27:09
  SPEAKER_00: Bye for now.