Latest / Rabbi Moshe Haber - Daily Mussar/Weekly Perasha / Rabbi Moshe Haber Path of the Just- Consistency, Levels, and Growth in Observance 5.20.25

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Rabbi Moshe Haber Path of the Just- Consistency, Levels, and Growth in Observance 5.20.25 · Rabbi Moshe Haber - Daily Mussar/Weekly Perasha

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  With Kitty Shashim, but they traveling 225 and then we go on
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  to another point is that as you get better in certain areas,
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  it's actually puts more responsibility on yourself
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  regarding being consistent. So I mean, if a guy at say sauce
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  the letter every day it's we discussed yesterday that it's a
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  challenge he's running to actually responsibility and
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  that's what happens. You're expected to be that
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  person now and carry yourself that way.
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  The guys look at you as a learner.
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  They look at you as learning they they want to see, they have
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  to see a complete picture. Otherwise it's a huge Hashem.
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  So yes, with more, you know, what's the word again, With more
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  opportunity comes more responsibility of the term is
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  surely as well. With more growth comes more
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  responsibility. But it's somewhat natural that
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  happens naturally as well, according to your high end
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  importance, Kendra. We shared shared busy.
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  We told if we have to be equally high in in your care with the
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  real without the tukoba in your service, our sham, which means
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  in general, being a full person, then an annual second.
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  If we're incomplete, there's no one's complete.
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  But if we're inconsistent because he's affecting cavola
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  Torah Hausa Shami shamar belli Muba.
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  Yeah, bear. Come on, can be your ship at the
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  economy dot someone. The more you learn, the better
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  your character is supposed to be.
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  That is the expectation and that is what the Torah demands of
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  you. And every version is good at 1
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  area and bury the other. They were consistent.
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  They're floored and a take away from kover Trimayim ho machi
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  oxar misella mishima bebly mood. Anyone who's weak in this
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  concept even though they're learning a lot.
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  Goran Bizayana. The mood that's more is causing
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  disgrace to the Torah itself. And this, sadly to say, is a
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  Hashem. When Hashem gave us a Torah,
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  Sivano la sokhba la Sikh aya Dashlam, it was understood and
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  expected that through learning and through connecting we will
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  change. If we don't, it's an incomplete
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  picture and it's true this idea. Through not being consistent.
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  Through not being consistent? Through not allowing the Torah
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  to basically see with your body, the bones in your mind, and your
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  carrot. That's a challenge.
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  I never heard this pill my my son was born.
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  I used to go to shul with them one foot by some raining, no
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  snow, no nice day. Yes, Rabbi came to me and says
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  when you're doing she knew was maybe don't start coming, but
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  you're ready to start coming, right?
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  And I remember I went home, call my wife.
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  This guy's off his rocker Rabbi telling me not to come.
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  I wasn't coming ever. You know, I look at Kabat.
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  Kabat tells you come once and never.
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  Come again? But then I started to understand
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  that those that do it consistently will always do it,
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  and those that never do it will never do it.
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  Yeah, the. Challenge of inconsistency 100%
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  if your person's inconsistent and they have the inability to
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  really develop and grow and make it part of the routine.
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  Sure, right, because then it's real.
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  Once you do it consistently, then you're committed.
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  We have to be consistent both in our two areas of life, which is
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  Torah and character, and consistent in either area.
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  They both have to be consistent with each other, which is our
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  Torah's vehicle about our character.
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  They both have to go hand in hand, and in these that we do
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  need to be consistent across the board.
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  Our consistency is a big demand. It's a lot of pressure, but it
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  really becomes routine. And they have two points again.
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  My tuda is supposed to flow into my character.
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  It's a big demand to expect me to be as good in character as a
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  person is in tuda. One thing is in the other.
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  Sometimes it's easy to be a learner that has to be a good
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  character, sometimes vice versa. Is it automatic?
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  Or does it? It's supposed to flow, yes,
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  that's the key. This demand, although it's
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  difficult, is expected to have a person who learns properly is
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  expecting to naturally become again.
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  Everything takes work but is expected now she'll become a
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  good person and if they don't and there's somewhat blocking
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  the stream, they're doing something wrong and not the way
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  the Torahs get in. They may be too busy with
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  themselves a too much about ego, whatever it may be.
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  But technically speaking, Torahs wants to come inside and have
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  its full effect. It's us who block it.
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  That's the consistency of Torahs.
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  The character and the consistency.
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  One they lead to the other is also something that's doable,
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  that can flow, that can develop. It can become a routine.
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  Like any one of us right now who has a routine that's also the
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  flow. Sometimes they have it in them
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  because suddenly somebody passes away in the family, of course,
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  sure that they start going to show head in the habit of going
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  to show safer flash. They start to enjoy it, they
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  feel better about themselves and they start to develop.
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  Yeah. Should I stand?
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  Up. They could be.
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  You're alright. So my cousin, that was a lot of
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  people. That was a lot of people.
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  Here's the concept. I was a lot.
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  Of people, by the way, people also in the position of self
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  reflected. Yes, supposed.
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  To be the look and, and you learn it's not not talking about
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  the the the guy who gets let's say if you want to pull the
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  brainwash of Ali's city Shiva, but you get you get to see what
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  life's really about right? You get to look at the the
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  person you lost and you got to. You get to.
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  Pick the people you with also you see how good they are, how
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  much they learn and how much it's and the running.
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  Material becomes less valuable at that point too, and I think
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  that's that's where the spirituality is able to to take
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  over at. The consistency I could go to
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  eneminion 8 O clock 8 right come here at 7 O clock but I want to
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  be consistent 100. Percent.
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  So it's right you want to be part of.
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  So it's into place, yeah. The reality that this proves
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  this is very important for everyone to realize, I think, is
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  that the potential for many people is right here, right
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  beneath the surface. So many people and even the
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  people are not being tapped into.
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  So many people are potential right beneath the surface.
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  You want to talk about people that are are challenging people
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  and difficult people just don't have people who never got a
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  chance or never really pushed themselves past that.
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  Very fine people and all you need all the news that one push
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  to the surface and the reflection of life, which
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  actually is a very powerful thing as well.
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  Combine your flow, your Rd. you're good and really for our
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  community. Maybe, you know, on top of it
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  more the potentials all right there.
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  This happens to leave into the mindset that needs to be applied
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  to every other area of dealing with the community.
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  The exact same mindset is across the board, which is whatever
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  you're talking to a community member about something,
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  understand that the potential is right there.
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  Just figure out how to talk and don't push too hard and don't be
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  overdoing it and don't be wrong in your style.
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  And you got them and they could stop brainwashing.
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  It's not convincing. It's not a sketch.
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  It's all right there. And the same thing is proving
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  this consistency concept of those who pass away and start
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  saying cut these exact same thing.
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  It's not like they're pressuring themselves and giant themselves
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  crazy and losing their mind and ruining the schedule.
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  Boom, it just snapped into place.
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  How's it possible? The answer was it was all right
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  there. Never got a chance whenever I
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  had that extra push, and this does it.
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  And the idea Messiah is saying is that you're expected to
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  continue to be consistent in these different areas and in his
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  area on paper today, consistent from Torah over to life.
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  That's another area of consistency, which is also very
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  doable. All this stuff is right beneath
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  the surface. It's our decision if we're going
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  to let it bubble up or not. It's being the surface that you
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  can have a consistent, huge schedule of Torah observers
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  every single day or nothing. It's our choice.
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  There's a rabbi talking about consistently overall, but I
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  remember and it's a theme. It's like marriage counselor
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  that the worst thing to have in your marriage is inconsistency
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  because the spouse doesn't know what person they're going to.
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  Get I don't know if that I I it's true.
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  I don't know if that's a total concept.
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  Well, that's a it's obviously a good concept for marriage.
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  This is basically saying that what happens is that is that it
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  spills 1 spills into the other and keeps you on the good track.
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  This idea of here is gives you character, it's high character
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  keeps you Tuda. It's some of the idea we I miss
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  and we said the other day and man Tuda the idea that one helps
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  the other the other helps to one.
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  That's the idea over here. Now one other area to open up is
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  for today is that he starts to talk about Shabbat observance,
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  different topic, but again, a topic and a person has levels to
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  now there's so much consistency. More a matter of levels.
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  There are 1,000,000 1/2 levels to Shabbat observance.
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  There are people who just don't drive a car.
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  That's what they do. They do they keep Shabbat means
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  they don't drive a car. The store is closed, they don't
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  touch the phone. These are different levels.
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  They don't watch TV, right? They have a Shabbat meal.
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  They don't have a proper Shabbat meal.
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  They dress in Shabbat clothing. They don't dress.
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  They go to school, don't go to shore different layer upon layer
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  upon layer and everyone as their own level Messiah James point is
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  we're going to see that a person when they want to be careful in
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  the mitzvot, the key and to analyze them something and say I
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  am good now can I go further. Someone gave me an example of
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  the day. I think this is actually pretty
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  good. They all watch the big Knicks
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  fan. They won't watch a game in their
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  apartment, but they go down. Let's say they live in a
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  building, they go down to a public room and the game is on
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  the watch there. So I was impressed because I
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  didn't think this guy was on this little home.
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  And for another person, that's not the right thing for that
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  person. That's not bad, right?
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  He's obviously not bringing the, he's not being to be on his
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  home. There's something to that.
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  He's obviously not turning it on.
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  He's not even having someone else turning it on.
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  He's just a big fan. He's catching it.
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  I don't think it's good for all. Wouldn't be good for you and I,
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  but it is a good fan. Different levels and a person's
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  going to be. That's a but for that person, He
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  he went a long way. Probably, yeah, probably.
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  He was a die hard fan. Definitely did.
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  But he's only bringing that. He's not bringing the junk of
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  the. TV.
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  At least he's not bringing the TV into his house.
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  He's bringing. At least only this forks a.
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  Person was always bored. Second of all, he's only doing
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  it down in his own home. He's figuring out a way to get
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  to school or go. He said see how that runs the
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  house. Excuse on how to see it.
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  Now again, I'm going to tell you I would do that.
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  I'm the guy who, you know, I used to be.
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  I used to walk by the house and stop them for a little bit
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  because my team is playing or of the, you know, if my team was
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  playing in the Shabbat morning, I see a newspaper.
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  I hope and pray that it's on the right side.
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  I always have to kick it over so I could see, you know, as a park
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  press on the right side so I can get the sports park.
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  I hope that my team made it to the little slip in on top.
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  Otherwise you will have trouble. I've got to wait till after she
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  bats. It's rough.
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  All right, I got to ask the guy that runs the shoe or whatever
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  it is, security guy. But of course you got the
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  levels. The idea is when it comes to
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  Shabbat, as we'll see, it is not so much a consistency concept.
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  This is the other idea that one thing spills into the other.
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  You know, Shabbat is supposed to expand, develop and grow.
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  You saw the whole community. Shabbat has developed, expanding
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  and grow. Now this is happens to be
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  something that's important to know as we go to the summer and
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  as we go to the season and that is and when you go to the summer
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  season, you go to deal whatever it may be.
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  It becomes the entire issue of observance companies.
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  If I'm more challenged for a lot of reasons, whether it be and
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  again, I don't need to disparage anything, whether it do going to
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  the beach on Shabbat outdoors or mean fact that the pool is used
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  very much in Shabbat outdoor outdoor sports and a lot of
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  people allow it. I'm busy, you know, I don't know
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  why I said, she says. I don't know sports more than
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  the pool. Well, people a lot of sports.
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  Yeah, more than they do the pool.
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  Yeah, sure. They.
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  Would be the. Opposite, Yeah, They come to
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  early evening and they want to play tennis.
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  People do. Sportsman.
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  No, honestly. I would think that the pool
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  could be made more kosher than sports, which is considered
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  mukset at the beginning. Both things have their way of
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  being made kosher, honestly speaking.
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  Oh, wow, Both of these items, the both didn't have their
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  honest way of being. Also, I was on their own level.
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  I don't want to say anything that's going to no, yeah, no,
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  no. But I'm going to position just
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  trying to. Trying to under understand, you
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  know. These things, they go away
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  naturally or they don't go away. So part of the process, you know
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  what I mean? My son Ray wanted to go play
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  sports on Shabbat. I never play sports in the
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  situation he wanted to go play sports.
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  He's 11. I don't want to think I used to
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  it because eventually I want not to because.
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  Then at 13. It becomes harder, right?
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  But the truth is, if that's what he wants to do, all right,
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  that's big deal. I'll let that go, definitely,
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  especially in the backyard, whatever it is.
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  Sports is one challenge, pool is another challenge.
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  That's opening the whole. There's a lot of issues the
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  exact way, but the overall theme is, is that when the summer
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  comes, things sayon the challenges of keeping Shiva
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  properly become very, very difficult and you need a little
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  bit of figuring out what is my you know, what's my level?
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  Where am I holding again? You don't want to push your
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  family and torture them. If you really not really that
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  consistent in the 1st place and now you're going to be over the
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  top in a difficult time. That's the wrong way to do it.
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  The better way to do is at least to establish a very strong
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  definition of what your bad is in your family.
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  Then you work at certain things and the things that your levels
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  on the way it is. I mean, I'm always joke, she
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  says. I don't know what to say.
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  We lived last year in Oakhurst area, Miss Kebab and Brooklyn.
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  Again, I do not need to discard anyone.
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  I'm not trying to say that. And Brooklyn, you don't see a
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  single bike rider. People don't ride even if they
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  live in Jay, That is not in their mind.
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  And in the summer, biking is considered normal.
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  She says see that? It's because people live far
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  away. I understand you see that scene
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  with the father riding in the back with the kids in the back.
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  She says. That would be done in Brooklyn.
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  Gallic like a nerd and deal, he looks sharp.
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  She's right. But again, I don't mean to
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  disparage anything. There are different levels and
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  different layers and different things and a person has to
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  figure out where they're holding and person.
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  Emmanuel, does it matter if a person is looking to enhance a
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  Shabbat via these things or not? Or does it not matter when it
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  comes to Shabbat? Doesn't matter.
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  Let's say. Someone.
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  Let's say a guy is going to his mother for lunch and she lives
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  in Ellenhurst and he lives in Long Branch.
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  He's not working two hours. Good.
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  A guy wants to pray in his school he's comfortable in and
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  that rule is, you know, maybe more Torah has more classes if
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  he rises. Quick question.
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  So again, it really boils down to what level he's holding.
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  If he is a opinion that it's fine, then that does matter,
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  yes. And if in every other area he's
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  going to be doing those things anyhow, then it does matter.
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  But if he's a person who really is doesn't allow him to do these
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  certain things and now he's going to do them just for the
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  sake of Tara, that's trouble. And say it's almost the level of
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  someone doing something a little bit inappropriate just for the
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  sacred Tara. It's like someone's saying I'm
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  going to cut someone off because I got to get the class all
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  right. That's, you know, you're
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  inconsistent there. But if in general your level is
• 16:27
  that this bike riding OK, then using it for Tara is great where
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  I have. To see your brother Joey the
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  bicycle. Ready, I Really.
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  This it's beyond like Sir being the people stopped.
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  No, they come to the shoe to the Manali.
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  There's no room in the parking lot.
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  It's all bicycles. So many people come to the end
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  of the high transit. Mathematical official wouldn't
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  be there. Right.
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  This is the challenge. This is the challenge.
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  It's a major. Question.
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  I'm asking SO a question. Is it?
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  You know, versus the guy who's going to ride to the beach in
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  his flip flops and. Well, the the guy is going to if
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  he really is on that level, he hasn't really moved past that.
• 17:05
  Whatever it is, then yes, I think anyone would say there's
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  definitely not. Luckily, there are ways that
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  allow it or discuss it or opinions.
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  And the banish high is another thing.
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  All conversation. Once you have the conversation
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  and you're going with that level again, I'm not giving any sort
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  of confirmation to allow anesthetist or anything.
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  No, no, I'm just saying either way.
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  But if you're on that level, then for sure you do it for
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  today. Absolutely.
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  If you're not, you're just doing it for saying today.
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  It's troubling because then it's using heterim to say good today.
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  It's not so good. It's not It's not so, but if if
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  you're Pierce person anyway, he's going to ride those almost
• 17:41
  and his kids are riding to their friends and doing this that they
• 17:44
  should be doing it for learning. I think anywhere I would say at
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  least to go on that level, use it for the right things.
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  For me it caused some bite issues.
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  I. Imagine I came four years ago
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  after my brother passed away. I'm not riding back and I would
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  only ride the shul anyway. It's not like I would ride
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  anywhere else. I only read the street and I
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  forced my family to go with me on this.
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  And after like a year legit when we get invited places like to my
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  my mother and this and that, and I would say no to everything
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  because they didn't want to walk and I wasn't riding.
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  I wasn't capitalizing it and I would have walked by myself.
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  All right. And it caused a lot of animosity
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  to the point where I feel like the family regressed on what
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  they did hold by by their choice because of being or has that had
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  to compromise with them. Which is.
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  I won't cheap in Shabbat. I won't ride in shorts.
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  I will write in football. I'll ride the shul in my shul
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  clothes, or I'll write to my mother-in-law in my shul
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  clothes. But we're not riding around and
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  experiencing Shabbat. That's not there.
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  But again, this is a challenge definitely very much.
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  It's like in that same challenge you have in different areas,
• 19:02
  when you push your family in the room too much, then there's
• 19:05
  definitely a lower backfire. I mean, everyone in different
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  ways has the exact same to say on 1000%.
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  You got to figure out your level, figure out what we're
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  holding and try to develop in a very healthy way.
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  It's got to be According to him and understanding that there are
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  1000 levels to Shabbat and every president at the whole level,
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  and we work at it. We don't push in an
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  inappropriate way. We don't both ways.
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  We don't do things that are wrong, nor do we push in ways
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  that are going to backfire. So be challenged by themselves.
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  You don't have people develop fashion.
• 19:36
  You know how to push this? I also have a neighbor that
• 19:38
  learns Gemara in his pool. Yeah, that's Sketcher, though.
• 19:43
  Oh. No, he's a real guy.
• 19:44
  No, Mario, he's a real guy. He's wacky, but he's a real guy.
• 19:47
  You know, he's a nobody does it go?
• 19:49
  He takes the chairs, he takes a chair.
• 19:51
  He he puts his feet in there and I could I see him over the
• 19:55
  fence. With the grasses schedule out at
• 19:57
  which way? No, neither, no, you sit the two
• 20:00
  hours of those. First meeting such a thing for
• 20:03
  sure. OK.
• 20:04
  I mean he's not fully immersed like swimming doing the you.
• 20:07
  Know but his family probably is that boy not.
• 20:10
  But later they go on the bull. He's saying this is he sits and.
• 20:13
  I was here at work at the levels you could look at all these
• 20:15
  levels and saying I was abused by that.
• 20:17
  You could look all these incentive because or you can say
• 20:20
  that you know, people are developing, people are growing,
• 20:22
  people are connected and they're working at it.
• 20:24
  You can never take person very non frequent take a person and
• 20:29
  force them into a different situation.
• 20:30
  It doesn't work. It has not had had any positive
• 20:33
  effect at all because we're all in control of ourselves.
• 20:36
  We all have self. Surely we have without what's
• 20:38
  called again free will. I will backfire if we try this.
• 20:43
  Let ourselves develop and health and natural way.
• 20:46
  Ambassador Shambo, get there.