Latest / The You Project / #1815 What's on the Other Side of Goals? - Harps & Tiff

Transcript

#1815 What's on the Other Side of Goals? - Harps & Tiff · The You Project

• 0:01
  Speaker 1: Tiffany and Cook stop being mad at me before we
• 0:03
  Speaker 1: even bloody start rolling.
• 0:06
  Speaker 2: I don't get it off and get a chance, so
• 0:07
  Speaker 2: I'm just making the most of it.
• 0:10
  Speaker 1: If only people knew how much you and Melissa bully me,
• 0:13
  Speaker 1: and you bully me. Yesterday I did a podcast with
• 0:16
  Speaker 1: David James, Kevin Patrick Gillespie and allegedly this is what
• 0:21
  Speaker 1: she sends me everyone, Your audio is shit. I'm like,
• 0:28
  Speaker 1: I think that's code for Dick Craig. I'm not sure
• 0:32
  Speaker 1: that your microphone was plugged in. You might have been
• 0:34
  Speaker 1: coming through the computer, not the external mic. That's what
• 0:38
  Speaker 1: she meant to write. But what she writes is you're
• 0:41
  Speaker 1: a fucking idiot plug in your microphone. Do you want
• 0:45
  Speaker 1: to do?
• 0:46
  Speaker 2: You want me to read what I actually wrote?
• 0:51
  Speaker 1: It probably doesn't sound as good as what I just said,
• 0:53
  Speaker 1: so you're going to fuck up my whole intro. But
• 0:55
  Speaker 1: go on, What did you actually write?
• 0:56
  Speaker 2: Actually probably throws me in the dirt a little bit deeper.
• 0:59
  Speaker 2: Your mic was bro which you would know if you
• 1:02
  Speaker 2: wore your fucking headphones that everybody I bought him so
• 1:06
  Speaker 2: that wouldn't happen. What's not on his head right now?
• 1:10
  Speaker 2: Headphone ops.
• 1:11
  Speaker 3: Oops, I forgot. Ooops, I forgot. I forgot.
• 1:17
  Speaker 1: It's working right, So I don't need them. I just
• 1:19
  Speaker 1: get a bit hot and sweaty in headphones because they
• 1:21
  Speaker 1: get a bit excited. I did, I did when I
• 1:25
  Speaker 1: did radio, where you absolutely have to wear headphones. You
• 1:28
  Speaker 1: can't not because you've got to listen to the callers
• 1:30
  Speaker 1: who come through. I used to look like a widow
• 1:36
  Speaker 1: because I would have one ear on and one ear off.
• 1:41
  Speaker 2: But so, apart from the hot and sweaty, why else
• 1:44
  Speaker 2: don't you wear them?
• 1:46
  Speaker 3: People don't need to hear this.
• 1:48
  Speaker 2: No, because that's is that in itself was a lie,
• 1:51
  Speaker 2: because I bought you ones that don't go over your
• 1:54
  Speaker 2: ears like that, so they don't get hot and sweaty.
• 1:56
  Speaker 2: So that excuse is completely obsolete.
• 2:00
  Speaker 3: Sorry, you just cut out. I can't hear you. Sorry,
• 2:03
  Speaker 3: I don't know what you said. Everyone. Sorry, Sorry? Now,
• 2:08
  Speaker 3: why are you grumpy? Or are you grumpy? Like you?
• 2:11
  Speaker 1: I have not seen much of you lately. You have
• 2:14
  Speaker 1: not been at the gym, You've been away. Have you
• 2:16
  Speaker 1: got a boyfriend?
• 2:18
  Speaker 3: Got a boyfriend? What is going on?
• 2:20
  Speaker 2: I'm a famous pianist. I've been planning my upcoming concert,
• 2:24
  Speaker 2: so what did you say about peniss pianist pianist? No,
• 2:30
  Speaker 2: you know what I'm I'm trying to my attempting. No, No,
• 2:34
  Speaker 2: I'm not trying. I'm doing it. I am improving my
• 2:37
  Speaker 2: time management, which I am increasingly realizing in every moment
• 2:41
  Speaker 2: that I live that it is shit. It is My
• 2:45
  Speaker 2: use of time has been terrible, and the more I
• 2:48
  Speaker 2: get better at it, the more I realize it's still terrible,
• 2:51
  Speaker 2: which is testament to how terrible it was before I
• 2:54
  Speaker 2: got better at it.
• 2:56
  Speaker 3: I've got a question, and I mean this really authentically.
• 3:01
  Speaker 1: I wonder if, because I actually my vague heading for
• 3:07
  Speaker 1: today's or title for today's chat is the other side
• 3:10
  Speaker 1: of goals, the other side of goals, right. I wonder
• 3:15
  Speaker 1: if you became more time efficient, if you'd be happier,
• 3:19
  Speaker 1: Like I wonder if you were really time and you
• 3:22
  Speaker 1: ticked all the boxes and you've got everything. I'm not
• 3:24
  Speaker 1: saying you wouldn't be or you would be. I just wonder.
• 3:27
  Speaker 1: I just wonder because I know the times when I
• 3:31
  Speaker 1: you know, like, there have been times in my life
• 3:33
  Speaker 1: where I was super focused, committed, driven, and I'm not
• 3:37
  Speaker 1: saying I always turned out miserable. I didn't, but yeah,
• 3:40
  Speaker 1: it didn't always equate to better.
• 3:42
  Speaker 3: What do you reckon?
• 3:43
  Speaker 2: No, I don't know. I think that. Yeah, I think
• 3:46
  Speaker 2: that you need to do it in the right way.
• 3:48
  Speaker 2: So what I've realized that my continuous happening to switch
• 3:56
  Speaker 2: from one task to the next to the next, and
• 3:57
  Speaker 2: just being reactive to that and not time blocking and
• 4:00
  Speaker 2: having no mental and psychological downtime is directly negative effect
• 4:09
  Speaker 2: negatively O my language, apparently it's negative.
• 4:12
  Speaker 1: You did say you did say happening as well. I
• 4:15
  Speaker 1: wanted to know how.
• 4:18
  Speaker 2: So as you can say, I'm very mentally fatigued right now,
• 4:24
  Speaker 2: it's at odds. So if I look at what are
• 4:26
  Speaker 2: the things most important to me and what gets most
• 4:29
  Speaker 2: of my time and attention, and then if I look
• 4:32
  Speaker 2: deeper into that which I have been as to the
• 4:34
  Speaker 2: time and attention I have left, how effective is that?
• 4:37
  Speaker 2: I may as well not even put it into the
• 4:40
  Speaker 2: stuff I'm putting it into, because it's getting the scraps,
• 4:43
  Speaker 2: it's getting the filthy little scraps that are no good
• 4:46
  Speaker 2: because I've all used all of my time and energy
• 4:49
  Speaker 2: and focus on the other unimportant stuff and I'm not
• 4:55
  Speaker 2: and I'm allowing it to be scattered throughout my week,
• 4:58
  Speaker 2: so it's tasks and mental fatigue and all of that.
• 5:02
  Speaker 2: So I'm just gradually picking up the pieces, putting them
• 5:06
  Speaker 2: in different places, assessing whether or not that works for me,
• 5:10
  Speaker 2: and then going where to from here?
• 5:14
  Speaker 1: I mean, I think it's an ongoing process, like the
• 5:16
  Speaker 1: stuff that's important to you, and then in relation to
• 5:19
  Speaker 1: or we could say values like values are the things
• 5:22
  Speaker 1: that are important to you or values, goals, whatever, and
• 5:25
  Speaker 1: then you go based on those things that I say
• 5:27
  Speaker 1: are important to me, how much of my time and
• 5:30
  Speaker 1: energy do they get? And then you might off the
• 5:33
  Speaker 1: back of that go fuck all is the answer? So
• 5:36
  Speaker 1: maybe they're not that important, or maybe there's just a disconnect.
• 5:40
  Speaker 1: Maybe I need to hit the pause button and go
• 5:44
  Speaker 1: I spend an hour a day on this, which is
• 5:46
  Speaker 1: complete bullshit. Maybe I need to scrap that because it's
• 5:50
  Speaker 1: not my goal to spend an hour a day scrolling
• 5:53
  Speaker 1: on shit, but I do so. And I'm not saying
• 5:57
  Speaker 1: we should or we shouldn't. But I think there's that
• 6:00
  Speaker 1: that comes back to that whole thing about you know,
• 6:05
  Speaker 1: I like living sounds cheesy, but living in alignment, you know,
• 6:08
  Speaker 1: from one of a less cheesy wanky term like what
• 6:11
  Speaker 1: matters to me, what's important?
• 6:12
  Speaker 3: What do I value?
• 6:13
  Speaker 1: And then based on those things that I identify, is
• 6:16
  Speaker 1: my life and my behavior and my work and my
• 6:19
  Speaker 1: relationships are reflection of that stuff, because that's not a
• 6:24
  Speaker 1: bad stepping off point.
• 6:25
  Speaker 2: Yeah, And is the stuff that's important to me? Is
• 6:30
  Speaker 2: it still important to me? And have I asked myself
• 6:34
  Speaker 2: that from a place of curiosity not just habit Like
• 6:38
  Speaker 2: I do podcasting, I've done eight hundred and something in
• 6:42
  Speaker 2: the last four years. At times I was doing five
• 6:44
  Speaker 2: a week, and I realized that was a lot of time,
• 6:47
  Speaker 2: and although I wanted to do that many, it was
• 6:50
  Speaker 2: out odds with my other goals. So I scaled it
• 6:53
  Speaker 2: back and now it's two a week. And then I went,
• 6:56
  Speaker 2: do I still love that? Yeah? I still love it.
• 6:58
  Speaker 2: Is it important? Yes, it's important? Why is it important?
• 7:01
  Speaker 2: Why is it still important? And like I have sat
• 7:04
  Speaker 2: down with myself and on but is it?
• 7:07
  Speaker 3: Is it?
• 7:08
  Speaker 2: And is it delivering? Or is it? Or is there
• 7:11
  Speaker 2: parts of it that is still at odds? And then
• 7:13
  Speaker 2: I get to say, yes, honestly, from the version of
• 7:16
  Speaker 2: Tiff that sits here today, not the version of Tiff
• 7:19
  Speaker 2: I was when I started it, and it was exciting.
• 7:21
  Speaker 1: And.
• 7:23
  Speaker 2: I knew why I loved it then and why it
• 7:26
  Speaker 2: was important. I think we get used to saying, yeah,
• 7:28
  Speaker 2: this is my identity and it means something to me
• 7:30
  Speaker 2: because because one day when I asked the question, it did.
• 7:35
  Speaker 1: But also, and you pointed out something really good and
• 7:37
  Speaker 1: really true for everyone, is the thing that was that
• 7:41
  Speaker 1: represented you know, So there was a point in time
• 7:43
  Speaker 1: we're doing whatever it was like for me training people
• 7:46
  Speaker 1: on the gym floor where I trained sixty sessions a
• 7:49
  Speaker 1: week every week, one hour, and you know, being that
• 7:53
  Speaker 1: dude owning the gym, being young, full of energy, connecting
• 7:56
  Speaker 1: with people helping like that at the coal face. I
• 8:00
  Speaker 1: fucking loved it, right, that was my purpose. I was
• 8:03
  Speaker 1: largely about that. And then one day it's like, oh,
• 8:06
  Speaker 1: I don't love it, but I like it.
• 8:08
  Speaker 3: And then one day I'm like, fucking hell.
• 8:10
  Speaker 1: Do I even like it? And then you get to
• 8:12
  Speaker 1: the point where you go, I'm done. And it's not
• 8:15
  Speaker 1: that it's bad, and it's not that doing that work
• 8:18
  Speaker 1: is didn't serve a purpose for a range of reasons, emotional, psychological, professional,
• 8:23
  Speaker 1: and financial. But then you get to the point where
• 8:26
  Speaker 1: you go, oh, I'm different now. I want to I
• 8:27
  Speaker 1: want to focus on other things. And it's not that
• 8:30
  Speaker 1: it's bad, it's that I'm different and I've changed, and
• 8:33
  Speaker 1: so based on that, you know, and so I think
• 8:35
  Speaker 1: that you know, Like for you, I was thinking as
• 8:40
  Speaker 1: you were talking about what has my attention or what
• 8:42
  Speaker 1: has your attention recently? Is the fucking piano that you
• 8:45
  Speaker 1: couldn't play five minutes ago and now you want to
• 8:48
  Speaker 1: be Mozart by next fucking Tuesday right now. Part of
• 8:51
  Speaker 1: me is like, okay, part of me is like that's
• 8:54
  Speaker 1: a waste of time. Part of me is like, no,
• 8:57
  Speaker 1: that's awesome because you, at forty one, are doing a
• 9:02
  Speaker 1: thing that you've never done. So I always think I've
• 9:06
  Speaker 1: had this conversation many times where I think, what if,
• 9:09
  Speaker 1: let's say Serena Williams never picked up a tennis racket, right,
• 9:16
  Speaker 1: and at thirty five or forty two or one, she
• 9:19
  Speaker 1: took up Like, I mean, who knows, but if you
• 9:22
  Speaker 1: start a piano at three or four, you could be
• 9:24
  Speaker 1: a fucking world renowned penist. Now say that carefully, Ahaps, Yeah, yeah.
• 9:36
  Speaker 3: But you don't you don't know.
• 9:37
  Speaker 1: And it's like I had this realization. I used to
• 9:41
  Speaker 1: think that I was, if anything, probably just very very practical,
• 9:48
  Speaker 1: like quite good at solving problems, quite good at thinking critically,
• 9:52
  Speaker 1: but in really practical, real world, p academic way. And
• 9:56
  Speaker 1: then I did my first degree and I went, well,
• 9:58
  Speaker 1: I'm definitely not a an academic genius, but I can
• 10:02
  Speaker 1: do academia. And now I'm doing you know what everyone
• 10:05
  Speaker 1: knows I'm doing, and it's still not a genius, but oh,
• 10:07
  Speaker 1: I can actually do it at this level as well.
• 10:09
  Speaker 3: Oh I can be academic.
• 10:12
  Speaker 1: And I had a realization one day that, oh, I'm
• 10:15
  Speaker 1: actually quite creative because I come up with good ideas.
• 10:19
  Speaker 1: I can write well on the whiteboard. I've written a
• 10:21
  Speaker 1: bunch of books, and all of those things are creative processes.
• 10:26
  Speaker 1: But I always thought of creativity as well. I can't
• 10:29
  Speaker 1: sing and dance or paint, so I'm not creative, you know.
• 10:33
  Speaker 1: But I just wonder about that self limitation around our own.
• 10:39
  Speaker 3: Obviously, if you had to started playing thirty.
• 10:41
  Speaker 1: Years ago, you would have been much better at forty
• 10:43
  Speaker 1: three than you will be at forty three starting from
• 10:46
  Speaker 1: forty one.
• 10:48
  Speaker 3: But who knows.
• 10:49
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I love the challenge of replicating that experience I
• 10:57
  Speaker 2: had in boxing, where it was Oh, there was this
• 11:00
  Speaker 2: thing that I once thought you could either could or
• 11:02
  Speaker 2: couldn't do it. Like I watched Whiplash. What an awesome film.
• 11:05
  Speaker 2: The dude's a drama. The teachers absolutely brutal. It reminded
• 11:10
  Speaker 2: me of Bryce. And it was the link between going,
• 11:13
  Speaker 2: oh yeah, I thought I was no good at boxing
• 11:16
  Speaker 2: and coordination. But with the tenacity I had, I won
• 11:19
  Speaker 2: fights and I one titles, and I pushed hard and
• 11:22
  Speaker 2: but most importantly, I came out of one fight in
• 11:27
  Speaker 2: a three month period and my whole mind and world changed,
• 11:31
  Speaker 2: and I found a place where I could change me
• 11:34
  Speaker 2: in every other part of the world. Out of the
• 11:37
  Speaker 2: boxing ring. I could do that by stepping into the
• 11:39
  Speaker 2: boxing ring. That's what's that's what's happening with the piano.
• 11:43
  Speaker 2: I went, What's something that's an interest that I could
• 11:47
  Speaker 2: that I could get as obsessed with as I did
• 11:50
  Speaker 2: with that. That will also enhance my creativity and some
• 11:55
  Speaker 2: downtime and give me a bit of relaxation and not
• 11:57
  Speaker 2: be the standard TIF punch of people in the face
• 12:00
  Speaker 2: doing CrossFit or you know, doing the hard things. And also,
• 12:04
  Speaker 2: what's something that me and the people like me that
• 12:07
  Speaker 2: I spend a lot of time with what's something that's
• 12:09
  Speaker 2: just not like them? And what how might my world
• 12:14
  Speaker 2: change or what might I learn in the process of that.
• 12:17
  Speaker 2: Plus the activity is just good for the brain. And
• 12:21
  Speaker 2: whether or not I whether or not I go and
• 12:24
  Speaker 2: do this for ten years or whether I do it
• 12:27
  Speaker 2: for six months, I just thought, I'm going to have
• 12:29
  Speaker 2: a crack and I'm going to see if it's something
• 12:32
  Speaker 2: that takes off, like I love.
• 12:33
  Speaker 1: That well, whether or not you're playing with Mark Simour
• 12:36
  Speaker 1: on his next tour, I market.
• 12:38
  Speaker 2: A call soon because I'm the skills are just what
• 12:41
  Speaker 2: I can imagine.
• 12:42
  Speaker 1: I can imagine I want an on air recital one day.
• 12:48
  Speaker 1: So let's talk for a minute about goals, because I
• 12:51
  Speaker 1: really don't think in all the episodes we've spoken specifically,
• 12:55
  Speaker 1: and I don't want to do a goal setting session, right.
• 12:58
  Speaker 1: So when when I do talk to somebody about you
• 13:01
  Speaker 1: know what they want, you go, what's the thing that
• 13:03
  Speaker 1: you want? So we'll call that the goal or the
• 13:05
  Speaker 1: plan or the intention or not the plan, we'll call
• 13:07
  Speaker 1: that the goal or the desire. So what's the thing
• 13:09
  Speaker 1: that you want? And then straight away I say, why
• 13:12
  Speaker 1: do you want that? That's not a criticism, that's a curiosity. Okay,
• 13:16
  Speaker 1: so I want ABC cool. Tell me about that. Oh, well,
• 13:21
  Speaker 1: I want it because of this and this and this,
• 13:23
  Speaker 1: And when you get to the reason or the driver
• 13:25
  Speaker 1: or the motivation for that goal, you discover that that's
• 13:29
  Speaker 1: the actual goal. Like the initial goal for me, My
• 13:34
  Speaker 1: initial goal was I want to lose thirty kilos.
• 13:37
  Speaker 3: That was my goal.
• 13:38
  Speaker 1: But it was really only my goal because I believe
• 13:41
  Speaker 1: that that would be a conduit. I definitely didn't word
• 13:45
  Speaker 1: it like this when I was fourteen, but I believe
• 13:48
  Speaker 1: that that would be a conduit to lots of stuff,
• 13:50
  Speaker 1: you know, And like I thought, well, I don't know
• 13:54
  Speaker 1: what I thought, but I definitely thought that life would
• 13:57
  Speaker 1: be better if I just thought that, I guess mentally
• 14:00
  Speaker 1: and emotionally and socially and practically that my life would
• 14:03
  Speaker 1: be better. And for the most part that was true.
• 14:06
  Speaker 1: But it's not about the boxing. It's not about the piano,
• 14:10
  Speaker 1: it's not about the losing thirty k's. It's not about
• 14:12
  Speaker 1: the building a podcast, it's not even about you know,
• 14:15
  Speaker 1: for me setting up the first personal training center in Australia.
• 14:18
  Speaker 1: All of those things were good as processes, but it's
• 14:21
  Speaker 1: about who you become and what you learn and what
• 14:23
  Speaker 1: you understand.
• 14:24
  Speaker 3: And you know what I love. This is my.
• 14:29
  Speaker 1: Pseudo medical brain working is like, I'm glad that you're
• 14:33
  Speaker 1: doing something that's cognitively enhancing because you know definitely ain't
• 14:40
  Speaker 1: going to give you brain damage like getting punched in
• 14:42
  Speaker 1: the face. In fact, if anything, you're creating new neural pathways.
• 14:46
  Speaker 1: You're building your anterior mid singulate cortex because you're doing hardship,
• 14:51
  Speaker 1: you're learning hardshit and that forty one literally, I mean
• 14:56
  Speaker 1: apart from the skills, and you're like, my fingers are
• 14:59
  Speaker 1: aching and got to stretch and I've got to remember
• 15:01
  Speaker 1: all these different things. And so it's a it's a psychological, physiological,
• 15:06
  Speaker 1: and neurological process without getting punched in the face, without
• 15:11
  Speaker 1: having to run in the rain, without having to join
• 15:14
  Speaker 1: a gym.
• 15:14
  Speaker 3: Do you know what I mean?
• 15:15
  Speaker 1: It's I love that you are doing something which is
• 15:18
  Speaker 1: at the opposite end of the spectrum. And you know,
• 15:21
  Speaker 1: I talk to people about all the time about this
• 15:25
  Speaker 1: being able to put yourself in a learning situation at
• 15:30
  Speaker 1: any age, you know, and I think a lot of
• 15:32
  Speaker 1: people almost maybe not out loud, but you know, underneath
• 15:37
  Speaker 1: their breath, they're a little bit like, what's the point
• 15:39
  Speaker 1: I'm sixty one? Or it's like when people said to
• 15:41
  Speaker 1: me when more than five people, maybe eight nine, ten
• 15:45
  Speaker 1: people said to me when I started my doctorate, but
• 15:48
  Speaker 1: when you finish, you'll be sixty one, Like why bother?
• 15:53
  Speaker 3: You're pretty much dead, you know.
• 15:57
  Speaker 1: I'm like, ah, well, you know, in five years, I
• 16:02
  Speaker 1: said back then, I'm either going to be dead or alive.
• 16:05
  Speaker 1: And let's hope I'm alive. And I'm either going to
• 16:08
  Speaker 1: be alive with a PhD or alive without a PhD.
• 16:11
  Speaker 1: I mean, I'm still going to be here in five years.
• 16:13
  Speaker 1: I'm still going to be sixty one, and hopefully I'll
• 16:17
  Speaker 1: be a better version of fifty six year old me,
• 16:20
  Speaker 1: you know, And in some ways that is the case,
• 16:22
  Speaker 1: maybe not in all ways, but you know, so there's
• 16:24
  Speaker 1: the thing that we want, and then there's the reason
• 16:28
  Speaker 1: that you want it, you know. And I think sometimes
• 16:33
  Speaker 1: like how many people set a goal then they get
• 16:35
  Speaker 1: to the top of the mountain whatever that particular metaphoric
• 16:38
  Speaker 1: top of the mountain was, and then they go, ah,
• 16:43
  Speaker 1: this is not it Like that destination satisfaction or lack
• 16:48
  Speaker 1: of satisfaction correlation, Like how many people achieve something and
• 16:52
  Speaker 1: go right.
• 16:53
  Speaker 3: I'm good. Now, I'm good, I'm done.
• 16:56
  Speaker 1: Like there always has got to be like it seems
• 16:59
  Speaker 1: like on the the other side of hustling, grinding, striving, working,
• 17:04
  Speaker 1: there's not a lot of contentment or satisfaction.
• 17:08
  Speaker 2: And there's the transferable skills that I don't think people recognize.
• 17:12
  Speaker 2: Like it's funny sitting smashing away at piano keys, watching
• 17:19
  Speaker 2: a little thing on my phone, trying to learn it.
• 17:23
  Speaker 2: All I can think of is, oh, thank god I've
• 17:25
  Speaker 2: boxed for so long, because this is familiar. This is
• 17:27
  Speaker 2: familiar that you just sit there in a state of confusion,
• 17:31
  Speaker 2: punching away with flailing fingers, going makes no sense to me.
• 17:35
  Speaker 2: But what I do know is if I just keep
• 17:37
  Speaker 2: moving them, at some point it'll make sense. And I
• 17:40
  Speaker 2: won't even know why, because that's what happened in boxing,
• 17:42
  Speaker 2: because next minute I started rolling and countering and going, shit,
• 17:47
  Speaker 2: how did who did that? Oh? I did it? How?
• 17:50
  Speaker 2: I don't know, because my conscious mind learned what to do. Ah,
• 17:54
  Speaker 2: my sorry, my unconscious mind learned what to do, while
• 17:56
  Speaker 2: my conscious mind just said just stay here and keep
• 17:59
  Speaker 2: throwing hands.
• 18:01
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 18:01
  Speaker 1: Well, I mean it's the same with we spoke about
• 18:03
  Speaker 1: that recently, you're riding your motorbike when you just got
• 18:07
  Speaker 1: your new, big, fancy, beautiful bike, and you're a little
• 18:09
  Speaker 1: bit you know, learn learnstar a little bit, l plates
• 18:13
  Speaker 1: on your forehead. I mean, you could ride, but then
• 18:17
  Speaker 1: a year down the track, it's like, oh, the same
• 18:20
  Speaker 1: girl on the same bike. There's a completely different relationship
• 18:25
  Speaker 1: and experience and phenomenon happening, you know. And that's why
• 18:31
  Speaker 1: I mean that old kind of I don't know how
• 18:34
  Speaker 1: accurate it is. There seems to be something in it.
• 18:36
  Speaker 1: The ten thousand hours of practice, whether it's golf, whether
• 18:40
  Speaker 1: it's tennis, whether it's riding.
• 18:41
  Speaker 3: I mean, I don't know how.
• 18:42
  Speaker 1: Many thousands of hours I've ridden the motorbike, but probably
• 18:46
  Speaker 1: more than I don't know, tens and tens of thousands.
• 18:49
  Speaker 1: And so when I'm on a bike, I'm.
• 18:54
  Speaker 3: Fully aware.
• 18:57
  Speaker 1: Without having to think about where is the class, where
• 19:00
  Speaker 1: is the front break, where is the rear brake? How
• 19:03
  Speaker 1: do I change gears? Did I put on my indicator?
• 19:06
  Speaker 1: How do I cancel my indicator? You know, all of
• 19:09
  Speaker 1: these things that you're like, oh, it's still fucking flashing,
• 19:12
  Speaker 1: how do I turn that off again?
• 19:13
  Speaker 3: Where's my high beam on?
• 19:15
  Speaker 1: My lights with and if you're not a motorcyclist, and
• 19:18
  Speaker 1: I think most of our listeners are not, remember with
• 19:21
  Speaker 1: all of this, you're doing all of these things.
• 19:24
  Speaker 3: So yes, there's a front and a rear brake.
• 19:26
  Speaker 1: Yes, there's a clutch on the left and a front
• 19:28
  Speaker 1: break on the right, and a rear brake typically on
• 19:32
  Speaker 1: the right foot, and a gear change typically on the
• 19:35
  Speaker 1: left foot, and typically indicators underneath the left thumb, and
• 19:42
  Speaker 1: all of this you have to do while looking straight
• 19:45
  Speaker 1: ahead and taking in every car, every dog, every cat,
• 19:49
  Speaker 1: every human, every traffic light, every corner, every car door opening.
• 19:55
  Speaker 1: And you've got to do all of this automatically without
• 19:59
  Speaker 1: in invert a Comma's thinking, because if you're thinking about
• 20:03
  Speaker 1: what the fuck you're doing on the bike with all
• 20:05
  Speaker 1: the controls, you're definitely not paying attention to the environment.
• 20:11
  Speaker 2: How's this on the last long ride? I went on?
• 20:15
  Speaker 2: Beautiful day just sitting You know what it's like when
• 20:17
  Speaker 2: you're just sitting on the bike and like this is
• 20:19
  Speaker 2: the best I am filled with joy, blue skies, no wind,
• 20:24
  Speaker 2: loving it for hours. You home that night, my garment
• 20:27
  Speaker 2: says to me that at some point, I don't know
• 20:29
  Speaker 2: whether it was the next day or that that night,
• 20:31
  Speaker 2: that it was a highly stressful day, and you can
• 20:33
  Speaker 2: go in and look at your stress graph Whilst I
• 20:36
  Speaker 2: was on the bike and I and that was recognizing
• 20:39
  Speaker 2: that's just my mind happening to be switched on, because.
• 20:43
  Speaker 3: I think, did you just say happening again?
• 20:46
  Speaker 2: Happening? But apparently that's a thing. I don't even hear
• 20:49
  Speaker 2: myself say that.
• 20:50
  Speaker 1: Ah, it's all right, keep going happening.
• 20:53
  Speaker 3: I'm going to call this the Happening podcast.
• 20:55
  Speaker 2: I don't blame mom for that's it's a perfect word.
• 21:01
  Speaker 1: To keep going. Yeah, so you're so your body was
• 21:06
  Speaker 1: going nuts.
• 21:07
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and that's just that's just that's just focused. That's
• 21:10
  Speaker 2: just because I'm so because you forget that you're looking
• 21:14
  Speaker 2: ahead at all of the things and what might jump
• 21:17
  Speaker 2: on the road, and what where? What line do I
• 21:18
  Speaker 2: have to be on? And where's the bike behind me?
• 21:20
  Speaker 2: And I've got to follow that person? And again, like
• 21:22
  Speaker 2: the indicators and all the things, you don't realize you're
• 21:25
  Speaker 2: doing it anymore. So you think you're just sitting on
• 21:27
  Speaker 2: a bike looking at the blue sky, going fuck, what
• 21:29
  Speaker 2: a day, and your mind and your nervous system's going, yeah,
• 21:32
  Speaker 2: but where are doing all of these things to keep
• 21:34
  Speaker 2: you alive.
• 21:36
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 21:36
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that's great, isn't it. And eventually, eventually the more
• 21:40
  Speaker 1: and more and more you ride that that will come
• 21:42
  Speaker 1: down that you know that because you'll eventually like your way.
• 21:48
  Speaker 1: I would think your skill is way better, your writing
• 21:51
  Speaker 1: is way better, and you're probably less anxious than you were.
• 21:54
  Speaker 2: This is the thing, Like, this is not that there's
• 21:56
  Speaker 2: no feeling of anxiety with that, and there's no I'm
• 21:59
  Speaker 2: not feeling like that's the case, but it's obviously just
• 22:02
  Speaker 2: the workings of my mind. When I'm focused, your brain
• 22:08
  Speaker 2: is on high alert.
• 22:09
  Speaker 1: That doesn't mean necessarily that you're anxious, but your brain is.
• 22:16
  Speaker 2: You know.
• 22:17
  Speaker 1: You think about even when we do a podcast, right,
• 22:20
  Speaker 1: the level of energy and focus and cognition from you
• 22:22
  Speaker 1: and I just rambling and talking bullshit for three minutes
• 22:26
  Speaker 1: where it's like, you know, and then all of a
• 22:30
  Speaker 1: sudden you're like, Okay, ready, set go. I mean it's
• 22:33
  Speaker 1: still I think it's still as authentic and genuine as
• 22:39
  Speaker 1: it can be and as freestyle as it can be.
• 22:41
  Speaker 1: There's zero plan obviously, but at the same time, there's
• 22:46
  Speaker 1: an awareness that it isn't just you and me, Like
• 22:49
  Speaker 1: even if we had we have much more. But even
• 22:51
  Speaker 1: if we had a thousand people in a room, imagine
• 22:53
  Speaker 1: you and me sitting on a stage and just in
• 22:55
  Speaker 1: front of us there's a thousand people listening, you know,
• 22:59
  Speaker 1: or rod later there's ten thousand people or.
• 23:01
  Speaker 3: Whatever it is. It's like, oh, that would be well.
• 23:04
  Speaker 1: That's literally what happens every time we do a podcast,
• 23:07
  Speaker 1: you know, is that there's and I think that while
• 23:10
  Speaker 1: that is not at the forefront of my mind, there's
• 23:14
  Speaker 1: always that awareness. So the performance is an I don't
• 23:20
  Speaker 1: mean performance has in theatrical I mean just the quality
• 23:23
  Speaker 1: of what you're producing. I think steps up a little
• 23:28
  Speaker 1: when you know that it's being scrutinized and it's being
• 23:31
  Speaker 1: able to be that equanimity, that equanomous I think the
• 23:34
  Speaker 1: word is sorry, I'll shut up after this. But just
• 23:37
  Speaker 1: where you can be on the bike and be calm,
• 23:40
  Speaker 1: you can be in front of an audience and become
• 23:42
  Speaker 1: in doctor Alex's case, typ regularly you can operate on
• 23:48
  Speaker 1: someone's fucking brain with half their half their skull off
• 23:52
  Speaker 1: and be calm. I mean, shit, that's the that's the surgeon.
• 23:57
  Speaker 1: I want him or her who can operate on my
• 24:00
  Speaker 1: rain if I ever need that, I hope I don't,
• 24:02
  Speaker 1: but I want the person who's not stressed.
• 24:06
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and like it's a good point. We're doing the
• 24:08
  Speaker 2: same thing we'd be doing in a coffee shop. However,
• 24:11
  Speaker 2: be interesting to have a candid camera and see how
• 24:15
  Speaker 2: many more than three seconds pauses there were between a
• 24:18
  Speaker 2: natural conversation between you and I where where we're not
• 24:21
  Speaker 2: there's not part of the mind that is ready to
• 24:24
  Speaker 2: speak when the other person stops, just in case the
• 24:26
  Speaker 2: conversation comes to an end.
• 24:28
  Speaker 1: One hundred percent. Well, I think that. Do you know
• 24:31
  Speaker 1: Brad McEwan, Brad who used to work on Channel ten. Yeah, Brad,
• 24:35
  Speaker 1: so Braddle's and I spoke before, and it's coming on
• 24:39
  Speaker 1: for a chat's moine. We haven't done one for a while,
• 24:41
  Speaker 1: and I mean he's a talent, he's done lots of
• 24:43
  Speaker 1: mainstream media and you know he was on Channel ten
• 24:46
  Speaker 1: for one hundred years. He's a gun, he's a weapon.
• 24:49
  Speaker 1: And he's coming on for a chat and he's like,
• 24:52
  Speaker 1: what do you want chat about? I go, I don't know,
• 24:54
  Speaker 1: it doesn't matter, let's chat. And I said, one person
• 24:57
  Speaker 1: I really don't need to think about or plan with,
• 25:00
  Speaker 1: is you you know, the guy that's done twenty years
• 25:02
  Speaker 1: of television and a million hours of radio and interviews,
• 25:05
  Speaker 1: and you know, that's the beauty of it. And we started,
• 25:11
  Speaker 1: we started talking about what we've been doing, because I
• 25:13
  Speaker 1: haven't spoken to him for like two or three years,
• 25:15
  Speaker 1: and I used to We used to see quite a
• 25:18
  Speaker 1: bit of each other because he trained at my gym
• 25:20
  Speaker 1: throughout four days a week for years and years, right,
• 25:22
  Speaker 1: so we know each other quite well. And he started
• 25:25
  Speaker 1: telling me about I go, actually, can you not? Can
• 25:28
  Speaker 1: you just tell me tomorrow? Can you just tell me
• 25:30
  Speaker 1: all the shit that you're up to tomorrow? Because I
• 25:33
  Speaker 1: don't want to know? And then you tell me it
• 25:35
  Speaker 1: all again tomorrow, And I've got to pretend that I'm
• 25:38
  Speaker 1: surprised or interested like I want you to tell me.
• 25:43
  Speaker 1: But and I've got heaps of shit to tell you.
• 25:45
  Speaker 1: Let's just do that tomorrow, and let's just go where
• 25:48
  Speaker 1: we go and see what the lessons and messages are,
• 25:52
  Speaker 1: you know, And I mean consistently we get feedback and
• 25:56
  Speaker 1: you get feedback too.
• 25:57
  Speaker 3: I know that.
• 25:59
  Speaker 1: People like it when it's it's not like question three,
• 26:03
  Speaker 1: so tif blah blah blah, answer three. Thanks Craig, here's
• 26:07
  Speaker 1: my answer question four. I mean, who wants to listen
• 26:12
  Speaker 1: to that? Rather punch myself in the phrase.
• 26:15
  Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, And it's it's like for es, especially when
• 26:18
  Speaker 2: the guests that you haven't yet connected with, they'll built
• 26:22
  Speaker 2: rapport with to offer that and have having it, have
• 26:25
  Speaker 2: them have a good time happening to have a good time.
• 26:28
  Speaker 2: Just sort of there again, because this is the Happening podcast.
• 26:33
  Speaker 1: What's the when we talk about you know, so when
• 26:37
  Speaker 1: I talk about goals with people, we go, Okay, what
• 26:40
  Speaker 1: do you want? Why do you want it? How are
• 26:42
  Speaker 1: you going to get it? And when are you going
• 26:44
  Speaker 1: to get it? You know, timeline. So there's kind of
• 26:46
  Speaker 1: four main things, maybe five what's the outcome? Right?
• 26:49
  Speaker 3: So what do you want? Goal?
• 26:51
  Speaker 1: Why do you want it? In a driver a motivation reason,
• 26:53
  Speaker 1: underlying intention? Right, how are you going to get it?
• 26:56
  Speaker 3: Plan?
• 26:57
  Speaker 1: When are you going to get it? Timeline? And then
• 27:00
  Speaker 1: five once you do get it, what's the outcome?
• 27:03
  Speaker 2: Right?
• 27:04
  Speaker 1: So for you, what's the main There might be a couple,
• 27:09
  Speaker 1: but what's the main why behind.
• 27:13
  Speaker 3: Deep diving into music.
• 27:18
  Speaker 2: To broaden my interest and identity in my life experience
• 27:25
  Speaker 2: in regards to my life experience, right? So yeah, to
• 27:30
  Speaker 2: break out of the tiff in the gym, Tips the
• 27:34
  Speaker 2: boxer TIF does physical stuff right, Tip's busy all the time?
• 27:40
  Speaker 3: Is that for you though? Is that for you? Or
• 27:42
  Speaker 3: is that is that for how you see you or
• 27:44
  Speaker 3: how others are you?
• 27:45
  Speaker 2: That's well, that's for how I am me, That's how
• 27:49
  Speaker 2: I how I feel. And I really like opening myself
• 27:55
  Speaker 2: up to new experiences and new perspectives. And I realized
• 28:01
  Speaker 2: that I'm in danger of not doing that because I
• 28:07
  Speaker 2: am so busy or occupied in things that are all
• 28:12
  Speaker 2: similar or the same or follow the same path. So
• 28:15
  Speaker 2: what would happen if I try this new thing? What
• 28:19
  Speaker 2: might I you know, four four and a half years ago,
• 28:23
  Speaker 2: what might happen if I just start a podcast? And
• 28:25
  Speaker 2: now look like all this stuff happened?
• 28:27
  Speaker 1: Yes, and now you're presenting at the fucking New Project
• 28:32
  Speaker 1: conferences other super Stars. That's coming up on June one, everybody.
• 28:39
  Speaker 1: We haven't announced that. You can't buy a ticket yet.
• 28:41
  Speaker 1: It's not on the website. Melissa will definitely kick me
• 28:44
  Speaker 1: in the dick for saying it, but fuck it, I'm
• 28:46
  Speaker 1: going to live on the edge. I'm going to tell
• 28:48
  Speaker 1: you all anyway.
• 28:49
  Speaker 3: She will go. You know what, she'll say to me,
• 28:52
  Speaker 3: why did you mention it? It's not on the website.
• 28:54
  Speaker 3: People can't book.
• 28:55
  Speaker 2: I will be emailing her. She will that email see it,
• 29:00
  Speaker 2: don't email Mellily see it.
• 29:01
  Speaker 1: We'll We've got some real I'm not going to tell
• 29:05
  Speaker 1: you because she will punch me in her face.
• 29:07
  Speaker 3: But we've got some really good speakers and me.
• 29:11
  Speaker 1: But you know what I call that, you diving into
• 29:14
  Speaker 1: music is I always say to people. In fact, I
• 29:18
  Speaker 1: think I said to my group, my mentoring group, not
• 29:20
  Speaker 1: last night, but last week.
• 29:21
  Speaker 3: We do mondays.
• 29:23
  Speaker 1: Do something unnew, you know, like do something that's just
• 29:27
  Speaker 1: open a door that you would never normally open. Like
• 29:32
  Speaker 1: go to the room we're in that room you're the shittest.
• 29:36
  Speaker 1: Don't go to the room where you're the best. Don't
• 29:38
  Speaker 1: go to the room where you're comfortable. I'm talking about
• 29:40
  Speaker 1: a metaphoric room. Don't go to the room where you
• 29:43
  Speaker 1: excel and you look good. Go to the room where
• 29:45
  Speaker 1: you're a white belt and you're fucking hopeless, and you
• 29:49
  Speaker 1: might learn something, and you might you might grow and evolve.
• 29:52
  Speaker 1: Like think about, for example, if you take boxing, your
• 29:56
  Speaker 1: room for improvement is there, but it's minimal compared to
• 29:59
  Speaker 1: your room for growth and development, sitting at a piano right,
• 30:04
  Speaker 1: how much you you know? And then along with that
• 30:07
  Speaker 1: all the other great benefits that we spoke about. Imagine
• 30:11
  Speaker 1: if just per chance you rang Mark Seymour in six
• 30:15
  Speaker 1: months Mark Seymour as a friend of TIFFs.
• 30:17
  Speaker 3: Of course he was. He wrote a.
• 30:19
  Speaker 1: Song called the Boxer and had an album called The Boxer,
• 30:21
  Speaker 1: and the Boxer of which he wrote was Tiff of course.
• 30:24
  Speaker 1: But imagine if you went, I know this is ridiculous,
• 30:28
  Speaker 1: I'm fucking no one musically, but could I come over
• 30:31
  Speaker 1: and play a song and you sing?
• 30:34
  Speaker 3: How good would you? Should fucking aim for that and
• 30:36
  Speaker 3: we'll film that shit?
• 30:39
  Speaker 2: How good would sing?
• 30:41
  Speaker 1: So you need to learn your song and you need
• 30:43
  Speaker 1: to learn I don't know, maybe what's that.
• 30:48
  Speaker 3: I know the.
• 30:49
  Speaker 2: Words around mend me.
• 30:55
  Speaker 3: You need to learn that.
• 30:56
  Speaker 1: You need to learn that because that's the it's almost
• 30:59
  Speaker 1: like an Australian anthem.
• 31:03
  Speaker 2: Well, I'm reading at the moment, I'm reading John Farmer's biography.
• 31:06
  Speaker 2: What a great book, What a great story of again
• 31:10
  Speaker 2: someone who was in the industry but just struggling and
• 31:14
  Speaker 2: not really bloody, getting far and getting jammed in and
• 31:17
  Speaker 2: then bam, he Rode wrote Whispering Or released Whispering Jack
• 31:22
  Speaker 2: and became the biggest selling album in Australia. I think
• 31:26
  Speaker 2: to this day like it's crazy and so inspiring. Yeah,
• 31:31
  Speaker 2: you're just one decision or path or footstep away from
• 31:37
  Speaker 2: the thing you're chasing. If that's what you want to do.
• 31:41
  Speaker 3: Well, Yeah it's funny, isn't it.
• 31:44
  Speaker 1: It's like, yeah, he could have he could have just
• 31:47
  Speaker 1: taken a little bit of a left turn, not a
• 31:49
  Speaker 1: right turn, and he would have been Sadie the cleaning
• 31:52
  Speaker 1: lady guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah, little Johnny Farnham who's sang
• 31:57
  Speaker 1: and all our young listeners now like who the fuck?
• 32:00
  Speaker 3: What the fuck?
• 32:01
  Speaker 1: And all how oldies Hello, oldiesh hello oldish Hey, put
• 32:05
  Speaker 1: your teeth back in and litten leaning, lean in duhl.
• 32:11
  Speaker 3: My talk to Mary.
• 32:14
  Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, it's it's so interesting all of that where
• 32:17
  Speaker 1: you think, man, what if? Almost like those sliding door moments. Yeah, there,
• 32:24
  Speaker 1: where you think on a very very small scale. I
• 32:28
  Speaker 1: put up a post a few weeks ago that I've
• 32:32
  Speaker 1: put up before, and it's not particularly profound or wise.
• 32:38
  Speaker 1: It's it's mildly amusing. It's got a good message or two,
• 32:41
  Speaker 1: and it's got a bit of swearing in it as
• 32:43
  Speaker 1: almost shit has and it got picked up by someone
• 32:47
  Speaker 1: somewhere and it's got that just that one post in
• 32:49
  Speaker 1: the last four weeks has got nearly a million views.
• 32:51
  Speaker 1: It's like eight hundred and ninety thousand, just that one, yeah,
• 32:56
  Speaker 1: you know, and then compared to what some people get
• 32:58
  Speaker 1: a million in a day, but some people, you know.
• 33:00
  Speaker 1: And I just think, ah, it's so funny because I've
• 33:03
  Speaker 1: put that up before and I don't know, maybe it
• 33:06
  Speaker 1: had five to ten thousand views, you know, and it's
• 33:09
  Speaker 1: now nearly had a million, And I'm like wow. And
• 33:11
  Speaker 1: it's not because it's exactly the same thing, but someone
• 33:15
  Speaker 1: somewhere shared it. And now that post has been shared,
• 33:19
  Speaker 1: just that one installment on that day that I shared,
• 33:23
  Speaker 1: I think it's up to like eleven and a half
• 33:25
  Speaker 1: thousand shares, shares, not comment not likes, you know, so
• 33:30
  Speaker 1: and twenty five or Yeah, it's funny how sometimes just
• 33:34
  Speaker 1: something will catch fire a little bit.
• 33:37
  Speaker 2: Yeah. I was listening to a podcast with mister Beast
• 33:41
  Speaker 2: on It and he was talking about how you know,
• 33:43
  Speaker 2: how you're better off making on it's EA or he said,
• 33:46
  Speaker 2: it's easier to make one great video that gets on
• 33:50
  Speaker 2: whatever two million views or whatever. Then it is to
• 33:52
  Speaker 2: create a video a day and get whatever the equivalent
• 33:57
  Speaker 2: of that total would be on each video. Interesting listening
• 34:01
  Speaker 2: to different people like that. I've been listening to a
• 34:03
  Speaker 2: lot of audio books and different podcasts that again aren't
• 34:08
  Speaker 2: like I don't want to be a mister beast, I
• 34:10
  Speaker 2: don't want to be a content creator, but it's like,
• 34:13
  Speaker 2: what's how does this guy think? And what does he
• 34:16
  Speaker 2: talk about and what There's always these tiny snippets of
• 34:19
  Speaker 2: insight that you get that, even if they don't apply
• 34:22
  Speaker 2: to you, it can change your perspective enough to make
• 34:26
  Speaker 2: you alter things.
• 34:28
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and it's interesting because there's this sometimes for me anyway,
• 34:35
  Speaker 1: not big, but a little bit of an internal dilemma,
• 34:38
  Speaker 1: you know where you know where you think, Oh, I
• 34:41
  Speaker 1: could write this post and it's going to be quite blunt,
• 34:45
  Speaker 1: a little bit rude, a little bit, and I know
• 34:47
  Speaker 1: it's going to get traction because there's a bit of
• 34:51
  Speaker 1: a recipe. Right, then I can write this other thing
• 34:54
  Speaker 1: that I think is quite deep and profound. Then if
• 34:57
  Speaker 1: people might read it and they might take it on board,
• 35:00
  Speaker 1: they might operationalize it, they might do something with it.
• 35:03
  Speaker 1: It could be really powerful and valuable in their life,
• 35:07
  Speaker 1: but four people are going to read it, you know,
• 35:10
  Speaker 1: and like, you don't want to be the like he said,
• 35:12
  Speaker 1: just create something that's going to get two million views
• 35:14
  Speaker 1: or whatever. And I understand because he's literally talking about
• 35:18
  Speaker 1: building a brand online and all that shit, which he's done.
• 35:22
  Speaker 1: Is the biggest content creator or the biggest YouTuber on
• 35:24
  Speaker 1: the planet by far, and you know, for what he does,
• 35:28
  Speaker 1: he's fucking amazing. Right, It's not what I want to do,
• 35:30
  Speaker 1: it's not what you want to do. But at the
• 35:32
  Speaker 1: same time, you want to be authentic and you want
• 35:35
  Speaker 1: to pull up content that really reflects who you are
• 35:38
  Speaker 1: and how you are and the messages that you want
• 35:40
  Speaker 1: to share. But also the practical reality is And I
• 35:47
  Speaker 1: wrote about this the other day. I wrote the psychology
• 35:50
  Speaker 1: of fuck right. I wrote a post about that, and
• 35:52
  Speaker 1: it's time and time again proven to me that it's
• 35:57
  Speaker 1: somewhere between five and eight times the response I get
• 36:00
  Speaker 1: if I write the same post with swearing versus no swearing.
• 36:04
  Speaker 1: So if I write a post with no swearing and
• 36:07
  Speaker 1: I get let's say, one hundred responses and I put
• 36:10
  Speaker 1: up the exact same post, we're swearing, I'll get five
• 36:14
  Speaker 1: to eight hundred instead of one hundred. And you know
• 36:19
  Speaker 1: it's like, okay, what is that about? How much do
• 36:22
  Speaker 1: I lean into that? And I don't swear for effect?
• 36:25
  Speaker 1: Like you know me away from the podcast. You know
• 36:27
  Speaker 1: me on the podcast. The way I talk in the gym,
• 36:30
  Speaker 1: the way that I talk out and about is the
• 36:32
  Speaker 1: way that I talk on the podcast. There's not really
• 36:35
  Speaker 1: any difference, right, But yeah, it's just that it's a
• 36:41
  Speaker 1: real juggling act. I think when you want to be
• 36:43
  Speaker 1: doing something that is done with integrity and authenticity, but
• 36:49
  Speaker 1: you also know there's a commercial, practical reality to what
• 36:53
  Speaker 1: you do. Like if, for example, or should I say this, No,
• 36:57
  Speaker 1: I'm not going to say it. I'm not going to
• 36:59
  Speaker 1: say that in trouble I'll tell you off there.
• 37:02
  Speaker 3: I can't. I can't.
• 37:03
  Speaker 1: What I was going to say is profound and true,
• 37:06
  Speaker 1: but I just can't because someone will get offended.
• 37:09
  Speaker 2: Do you do you think or do you ever think
• 37:11
  Speaker 2: about or wonder to whatever level of self awareness you
• 37:16
  Speaker 2: have on your current experience, do you ever think about
• 37:19
  Speaker 2: how much your your path might be still influenced by
• 37:25
  Speaker 2: the feedback from creating content, like like I do the
• 37:29
  Speaker 2: same thing. Sometimes I write things that I think are
• 37:32
  Speaker 2: that I feel strongly about, and I'm like, I think
• 37:34
  Speaker 2: this is really I think this is a beneficial insight. Right.
• 37:37
  Speaker 2: Sometimes well most of the time, I feel like I'm
• 37:39
  Speaker 2: just writing them to me, so I'll read them again
• 37:41
  Speaker 2: one day and learn from it. But it might, you know,
• 37:45
  Speaker 2: not many people might share it or see it or
• 37:49
  Speaker 2: like it or whatever. And I wonder if that subconsciously
• 37:55
  Speaker 2: affects how much I think about that again or try
• 37:58
  Speaker 2: and replicate that, or if it mate really makes any
• 38:02
  Speaker 2: difference at all.
• 38:05
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I do think about that.
• 38:06
  Speaker 1: I'm always looking at the stats, the data, and it's
• 38:09
  Speaker 1: really out of curiosity to see.
• 38:11
  Speaker 3: What lands with people.
• 38:13
  Speaker 1: I mean, if you have a public page like you
• 38:15
  Speaker 1: do and like I do, and you have a few
• 38:17
  Speaker 1: followers like we both do, well, obviously you want to
• 38:22
  Speaker 1: connect with as many people as possible while not compromising
• 38:25
  Speaker 1: your integrity or values.
• 38:27
  Speaker 3: But I think you would be silly to have.
• 38:29
  Speaker 1: A public page and pay absolutely no regard to what
• 38:34
  Speaker 1: seems to resonate with people.
• 38:35
  Speaker 2: So sun Dryer is probably isn't the great.
• 38:39
  Speaker 1: Well one of my favorite, one of the favorite things
• 38:45
  Speaker 1: of mine, like in my top ten and I've literally
• 38:49
  Speaker 1: got thousands of whiteboards.
• 38:50
  Speaker 3: That I've written.
• 38:51
  Speaker 1: If you don't know, if you're one of the three
• 38:53
  Speaker 1: people that listens to me that doesn't know my Instagram,
• 38:56
  Speaker 1: it's just Craig Anthony Harper, And it's thousands of whiteboard
• 39:00
  Speaker 1: messages that I literally handwrite on my whiteboard, photograph and
• 39:04
  Speaker 1: then put up. But one of my favorites of all
• 39:06
  Speaker 1: time that absolutely died in the ass. I'll probably fuck
• 39:11
  Speaker 1: it up, but I'll remember it as best I can.
• 39:14
  Speaker 1: And you've heard of dolphin free tuna, right? Have you
• 39:18
  Speaker 1: ever heard that term dolphin free tuna?
• 39:21
  Speaker 2: No?
• 39:22
  Speaker 1: So supermarkets, you know supermarkets sell tuna. Yeah, And one
• 39:27
  Speaker 1: of the risks is that in fishing for tuna with nets,
• 39:31
  Speaker 1: sometimes dolphins get caught up, right, And so one of
• 39:36
  Speaker 1: the advertising hooks on some tuna is dolphin free tuna
• 39:42
  Speaker 1: or that's the farming process or the netting process, right, So.
• 39:46
  Speaker 3: That's an advertisement.
• 39:50
  Speaker 1: But and my whiteboard says something like, if dolphin free
• 39:54
  Speaker 1: tuna teaches us one thing, it's that it doesn't pay
• 39:58
  Speaker 1: to be dumber or uglier and a dolphin and live
• 40:01
  Speaker 1: in the ocean. And my point is that we're happy
• 40:06
  Speaker 1: to kill a tuna. Why oh, because it's dumb and
• 40:11
  Speaker 1: it's ugly. We're happy to eat the shit out of tuna,
• 40:15
  Speaker 1: but the thought of killing something that swims alongside it
• 40:18
  Speaker 1: in the same place place is like so offensive to
• 40:23
  Speaker 1: people because dolphins are cute and dolphins are smart. I'm like, okay,
• 40:28
  Speaker 1: and tuna, no, they're not okay, but they have a
• 40:32
  Speaker 1: nervous system. They feel pain. Yeah, right, it's like we
• 40:39
  Speaker 1: buy into this anyway. Like I wrote that, and I'm like,
• 40:42
  Speaker 1: this is profound and this is insightful, and people are
• 40:44
  Speaker 1: going to go, oh fuck, yah, really making me think
• 40:47
  Speaker 1: about this.
• 40:47
  Speaker 3: Nobody fucking crickets nothing.
• 40:50
  Speaker 1: Like absolutely, And I went, oh, maybe it was the
• 40:53
  Speaker 1: time of day, or maybe they didn't it was the
• 40:55
  Speaker 1: wrong you know. So I put it up with nothing, nothing,
• 40:58
  Speaker 1: and I'm like, what I have learned is that some
• 41:01
  Speaker 1: of the things that for me, and I'm not saying
• 41:04
  Speaker 1: I'm right and anyone's wrong, they're not because I realize
• 41:07
  Speaker 1: sometimes the shit that fascinates me is of no interest
• 41:10
  Speaker 1: in those people. So I've I've got to pay attention
• 41:14
  Speaker 1: and go right, that doesn't work.
• 41:17
  Speaker 3: I still think that, by.
• 41:18
  Speaker 1: The way, but there are some things I won't like,
• 41:23
  Speaker 1: there are some things that I truly believe that I
• 41:26
  Speaker 1: won't say on here because I don't think it will
• 41:29
  Speaker 1: not because I'm scared, but because I don't think it
• 41:32
  Speaker 1: will produce a good outcome. There's not many things, by
• 41:34
  Speaker 1: the way, I say pretty much everything I think, but
• 41:37
  Speaker 1: there are a few things where I say, Look, if
• 41:39
  Speaker 1: I said this, is there any upside to this in
• 41:42
  Speaker 1: me saying this? And the answer is no, there's probably
• 41:45
  Speaker 1: more downside than upside, So be mindful and be aware.
• 41:50
  Speaker 1: And also there's a chance that with this thing that
• 41:52
  Speaker 1: I think I'm right about, I'm wrong because I've been
• 41:56
  Speaker 1: wrong a million times.
• 41:57
  Speaker 3: In my life, so you know.
• 41:59
  Speaker 1: And it's like I'm going to turn around. I wrote
• 42:04
  Speaker 1: a whiteboard just before which I'm going to post later,
• 42:07
  Speaker 1: which by the time people listen to this, it's just
• 42:10
  Speaker 1: got three lines and the top line says can you
• 42:12
  Speaker 1: still hear me? Yep? The top line says the reality
• 42:17
  Speaker 1: your reality, The second line says objective, subjective, and the
• 42:23
  Speaker 1: third line says, settle the fuck down.
• 42:28
  Speaker 3: Right.
• 42:29
  Speaker 1: Because people think that their reality is the reality, It's like,
• 42:35
  Speaker 1: that's no. They think their truth is the universal objective truth,
• 42:42
  Speaker 1: whereas things so many things that I thought were correct,
• 42:47
  Speaker 1: I discovered I was incorrect. So many things I believed
• 42:51
  Speaker 1: I later found out that they were either untrue or
• 42:55
  Speaker 1: I definitely couldn't prove that they were true. And the
• 42:58
  Speaker 1: problem is that, and we're digressing now. But you know,
• 43:02
  Speaker 1: it's when what you think and what you believe is
• 43:06
  Speaker 1: very emotional for you, and it's intertwined with who you are. Well,
• 43:11
  Speaker 1: of course you're not open minded about that. Of course
• 43:14
  Speaker 1: you closed minded because you don't want to be wrong,
• 43:16
  Speaker 1: and there's no room in there for being wrong. Therefore
• 43:20
  Speaker 1: I'm right, and I think the you know, when we
• 43:22
  Speaker 1: talk about really evolving and really having opening the consciousness
• 43:27
  Speaker 1: door and the awareness door you've got to go. Do
• 43:31
  Speaker 1: you know what I reckon? I'm wrong fucking thirty percent
• 43:34
  Speaker 1: of the time, maybe fifty. There's so many things that
• 43:37
  Speaker 1: I've been wrong about. I would be literally unintelligent if
• 43:42
  Speaker 1: I thought that all of these ten things that I
• 43:44
  Speaker 1: absolutely think are true, that there wasn't some room in
• 43:47
  Speaker 1: my ego to go probably not all true, probably a
• 43:51
  Speaker 1: bit wrong or completely wrong some of them. Like this
• 43:55
  Speaker 1: is personal growth. Personal growth is letting go of and
• 44:00
  Speaker 1: being okay with being wrong and incorrect. And embarrassed and
• 44:05
  Speaker 1: a failure, because that's just humanity.
• 44:09
  Speaker 2: How often do you evaluate? I guess your personal life,
• 44:17
  Speaker 2: you're the time you have away or need a way.
• 44:20
  Speaker 2: Because I feel like I've been on a few holidays
• 44:24
  Speaker 2: the last couple of years, the last two years. I
• 44:26
  Speaker 2: went on a little trip each time and got away,
• 44:28
  Speaker 2: and I feel like you don't. Haven't been overseas or
• 44:32
  Speaker 2: on a big break for a long time. Do you
• 44:36
  Speaker 2: miss that? Do you do you plan to do that
• 44:38
  Speaker 2: in future? Or have you settled in kind of a
• 44:42
  Speaker 2: bit of a did you.
• 44:43
  Speaker 3: Talk to my mum this morning? Have you been chatting
• 44:47
  Speaker 3: to Mary?
• 44:48
  Speaker 2: You're going on holiday or is she to go on
• 44:50
  Speaker 2: a holiday?
• 44:52
  Speaker 1: I took her on and Mary to Queensland a couple
• 44:54
  Speaker 1: of years ago then just when Ron had begun begun
• 44:57
  Speaker 1: his physiological slide.
• 44:59
  Speaker 3: That was fun.
• 45:00
  Speaker 1: Bless their little socks. That's a good question. So like,
• 45:06
  Speaker 1: for example, next week, I'm going to the Gold Coast.
• 45:08
  Speaker 1: I'm going for two days and staying in a beautiful
• 45:12
  Speaker 1: place looking at the ocean. And I know that's not
• 45:14
  Speaker 1: a holiday, but it's a little mini holiday and I'm
• 45:16
  Speaker 1: by myself, so I go there, I talk for a
• 45:19
  Speaker 1: bit I'm away for forty eight hours or so, I'm
• 45:21
  Speaker 1: working for half a day three four hours. So I
• 45:25
  Speaker 1: do have little mini sabbaticals there, and I have quite
• 45:29
  Speaker 1: a few of those through the year. I will say
• 45:32
  Speaker 1: that full disclosure, full awareness, or as aware as I
• 45:36
  Speaker 1: think I can be. The last five years for me,
• 45:40
  Speaker 1: with work with podcasts, with corporate, with you know, UNI
• 45:44
  Speaker 1: has been very It hasn't had a lot of that
• 45:47
  Speaker 1: kind of balance. At the same time, I don't get
• 45:53
  Speaker 1: very very gratefully. I think this is more. I often
• 45:56
  Speaker 1: say I don't have great genetics, but I feel like
• 45:58
  Speaker 1: I might have pretty good genetics in that I don't
• 46:02
  Speaker 1: naturally get very depressed or anxious or super worried. So
• 46:07
  Speaker 1: I think even though I am business a business, even
• 46:11
  Speaker 1: though I am even though I am happening.
• 46:17
  Speaker 2: Does sound ridiculous when someone else is it.
• 46:19
  Speaker 1: Even though even though I'm busy, busy, there's not a
• 46:24
  Speaker 1: lot of stress attached to the business.
• 46:27
  Speaker 3: You know.
• 46:27
  Speaker 1: But having said that, I feel like I'm justifying a
• 46:31
  Speaker 1: case in a court room.
• 46:33
  Speaker 2: Your it interests me. Right. The other day, I think
• 46:37
  Speaker 2: it was last Friday, in the middle of the day,
• 46:39
  Speaker 2: I got this my bottom lid of my eye just twitching, twitching, twitching,
• 46:43
  Speaker 2: twitching to the point for hours all day until the evening.
• 46:46
  Speaker 2: It's the point where I was googling, what what I've
• 46:48
  Speaker 2: got this fucking eye twitch? What's was my eye twitching?
• 46:51
  Speaker 2: And it's like, ah, stress, anxiety, underslept, caffeine. So it
• 46:58
  Speaker 2: was all the negatives. Oh and then that night I
• 47:01
  Speaker 2: went to sleep, woke up after an how it stayed
• 47:02
  Speaker 2: awake all night, didn't sleep, And I was like, this
• 47:06
  Speaker 2: is funny because I feel good. There's a lot of
• 47:09
  Speaker 2: good and there's been a lot of excitement lady lately.
• 47:12
  Speaker 2: Maybe that's a version of stress. I think when you're
• 47:15
  Speaker 2: always a bit amped and excited, stress on the nervous
• 47:18
  Speaker 2: system of some form. But I was like, it's interesting
• 47:22
  Speaker 2: that a couple of symptoms align and tell me you
• 47:25
  Speaker 2: could be under stress. But psychologically I feel fine, and
• 47:31
  Speaker 2: I perceive myself as I'm in a really good place.
• 47:33
  Speaker 2: I'm like, oh, well, what's true? Which is true?
• 47:36
  Speaker 3: That? That is a good point. That is a good point.
• 47:39
  Speaker 1: I think I probably bullshit myself sometimes I don't feel
• 47:43
  Speaker 1: like I do, but I must.
• 47:44
  Speaker 3: I must if I'm being honest.
• 47:46
  Speaker 1: And also, yeah, your body knows like Your body doesn't
• 47:51
  Speaker 1: make shit up. Your mind does. Like your body is
• 47:54
  Speaker 1: just truth. Your body is just it information, you know,
• 47:58
  Speaker 1: bio feedback. That's that's not an opinion or an idea.
• 48:02
  Speaker 3: That's just data.
• 48:03
  Speaker 1: Now, whether or not you ignore the data or pay
• 48:06
  Speaker 1: attention to the data, you know, and that data could
• 48:10
  Speaker 1: be Wow, my Wii looks like Pasciona. Maybe I'm dehydrated,
• 48:15
  Speaker 1: or I haven't had a pooh since late January, or
• 48:21
  Speaker 1: or I've had, you know, twenty skin cancers cut off
• 48:24
  Speaker 1: in the last five years, you know, I mean whatever.
• 48:29
  Speaker 1: You know, It's like your body's always telling you stuff.
• 48:32
  Speaker 1: You know, if you check your heart rate in the
• 48:34
  Speaker 1: morning and it's normally sixty and today at seventy, well
• 48:38
  Speaker 1: you're probably stressed or anxious or under recovered or underslept
• 48:42
  Speaker 1: or a combination thereof. Because your heart rate is not
• 48:45
  Speaker 1: an opinion. Your heart rate is just data.
• 48:48
  Speaker 3: You know.
• 48:49
  Speaker 2: I am currently back down to fifty two beats a
• 48:53
  Speaker 2: minute resting since not doing stupid intensity every single day.
• 48:58
  Speaker 2: So I kind of go for that style of training
• 49:01
  Speaker 2: now every maybe two or three times a week. And yeah,
• 49:06
  Speaker 2: which is interesting because you know, I told you as
• 49:07
  Speaker 2: soon as I've got to Tazzy. It dropped. Soon as
• 49:09
  Speaker 2: I've got timlays it dropped. I was like, what am
• 49:11
  Speaker 2: I doing wrong? Well, fucking you've been saying your training
• 49:14
  Speaker 2: is not recovering for a while, so that's a positive.
• 49:18
  Speaker 3: I think it's good. I think all the stuff you're
• 49:20
  Speaker 3: doing is like you're doing new things, you know. I
• 49:25
  Speaker 3: just think it's great for us all to for a
• 49:28
  Speaker 3: range of reasons to you know.
• 49:30
  Speaker 1: Depending on your situation and flexibility and all of that,
• 49:33
  Speaker 1: but if possible, you know, do new things, try new things,
• 49:36
  Speaker 1: have new experiences, have new conversations, go into new rooms.
• 49:40
  Speaker 1: You know, be bad at something, be happily bad at something,
• 49:44
  Speaker 1: be bad, be terrible, and then go I'm fucking terrible,
• 49:48
  Speaker 1: but I'm going to get better.
• 49:49
  Speaker 3: Like that's the that's the excitement. Yeah, you know.
• 49:52
  Speaker 1: It's like I love training people who've never lifted a
• 49:57
  Speaker 1: weight and you get them in the gym. They're fucking hopeless,
• 50:00
  Speaker 1: they're terrible, they've got no strength, and you're like, here's
• 50:03
  Speaker 1: the great news. One, you doing okay, Like this is
• 50:06
  Speaker 1: the of course, just shit at this, of course. Two,
• 50:10
  Speaker 1: here's the good news. You've got way more room for
• 50:13
  Speaker 1: improvement and growth and potential and development than me. You know.
• 50:17
  Speaker 1: It's like this is the beauty of doing new things. Yeah,
• 50:21
  Speaker 1: and improving oneself. It's always good to chat to you, Cookie,
• 50:26
  Speaker 1: you'd be good. Keep practicing the piano, keep feeding the
• 50:30
  Speaker 1: cat and the dog, and I'll see it soon.
• 50:34
  Speaker 2: Helps