Latest / The Astrology of it all / Same Cards, New Angles: A Tarot Reading on Letting Go, Legacy, and Love
Transcript
- Jakayla Snipes: Hello. So, if you're new to how I do this real quick, I like to pull two like decks at a time basically. ⁓ for the same position. And I don't mean I lay them next to each other because next to is kinda like next to, right? Two separate things sitting beside each other, mind their own business, but that's not it. I'm pulling them in tandem and in conjunction so that the two cards blend and end up meaning more together. Then either one would by itself. And I'm an overthink overthinker. So, like, of course, you know, your role is pull in two decks. one of the decks is the ⁓ true heart deck by Rachel, cannot remember her last name. ⁓ but she ⁓ the black girl from the craft, actually. and the other deck is Artaro by Sarah Shipman. But I'm actually gonna this time talk a little bit more about some of these women's stories, like and where they fit. Because honestly, like I love their stories. ⁓ and this is also like kind of a continuation of the last poll I did. one that I talked in about in the last episode. So if you didn't catch that one, you might want to go back to it. But here's the part that for me kind of gave me chills today. Okay. Some of these exact same cards came back today, just sitting in different seats. The page of pentacles, it came back. ⁓ But last time she was in the second position and today she's basically leading off in the first. I should have put the other one in here. Probably still could. I should have put the other one in, but didn't. ⁓ just go back. Cause I'll get distracted. And I have ⁓ like my last shift soon and I wanna talk about this right now. So anyway. ⁓ some of my positions like moved. ⁓ let me see, I'm trying to think. The ⁓ Page of Pentacles came back, but last time she was like in the second position, and today she leads off in the first. The Five of Wands came back. Last time it was third, but now it's second. The Three of Cups came back too, but in the last position now, and from the other deck this time. And the King of Swords is basically still sitting at the bottom deck, like he ain't never left. ⁓ so before I even read a single card, I already kind of clocked it because that right there is kind of the whole thing I've kind of just been saying. Same cards, different arrangements, same plate, different frame. The deck is basically, I feel like, telling me the story from a brand new angle, and I want to kind of go into what that means. So, let's talk about Page of Pinnacle with the Seven of Wands. So, first pair. ⁓ like I talked about ⁓ Mary Lou's cards, but I didn't talk about her. So I want to do like a quick rundown for anybody who doesn't know her, because a lot of people don't. And they should. But Mary Lou Williams was a jazz pianist. composer and a ranger and she was one of the only women actually shaping the sound of swing and then bebop. She mentored literally shit of giants, the Lonius, Monk, Dizzy, g just just helpy. I'm so bad a name, sorry. All of them they basically kind of came through her. She even wrote a whole zodiac suite with a movement for every astrological sign. You can watch it on YouTube or listen to it on YouTube. Which, you know, I feel like it's very on brand for this little corner of the internet Cosmic could create it. But then later in life, she turned her New York apartment into a soup kitchen and a halfway house for struggling musicians. Straight up legend. ⁓ and you know, I just kind of feel like Page of Pinnacles is a little me right now. My head down, learning my own craft, the slow, boring way you learn an instrument. And Mary Lou, she actually learned piano by ears of baby. Isn't that insane and boss? She basically like picked up notes out of the air. And her mama on purpose didn't push her into formal training because she was actually scared it would stifle her gift. And that's still interesting me, like the gift came first and she protected the gift. And that's the page. It's like finding your natural thing and doing the unglamorous work to sharpen it. And if you don't if you if you recall, she basically moved up to the first position this time. So the building, the head down work. That's the lead now. Not a side plot in my eyes. But she is blended. Right there with that seven of wands. And that card kinda feels you know, I don't know, okay, you see the card, right? She's like standing there in her defensive like pose, right? It's kinda like you up on the hill holding your ground while everybody comes at you. Sometimes it'll be like people like at the bottom or whatever, you see their wands and stuff. and I'm gonna go a little deeper than I did last time. Because the Seven of Wands isn't just about defending my work, it's about defending my reality. If you've heard me talk before or read any of the Transquirs transcribes of my life, you know I have always been a little scrappy. Even at my lowest, even inside the fog. I've never fully stopped defending myself. I'd argued my own case out loud against a story. Somebody else was trying to write on me. And that to me is the seven of wands. I feel not to be like I'm all by myself, but I'm doing these readings through the lens myself. If you haven't noticed, ⁓ I'm not doing the typical like and that's why I feel like very comfortable, like instead of like watch you people what like not you people, whoever is listening, like watch me like pick a card by card. First of all, I don't really do like like live videos, stuff like that. So anyway, it's just my voice. Bye. Sorry. ⁓ but ⁓ basically I'm so glad it's just my voice because honestly the way my hands are like everywhere all the time when I'm talking, it's like And I know, I don't even know what I'm doing like half the time, okay? ⁓ But I forgot where I was going. Where what I was saying. Anyway. I then these aren't meant to be long, so I I should probably need to hurry up. Because I know I'm not gonna like wanna like work a shift even if it's only a 30-minute shift and then like come back to this. Like I'm not not not that's like a this thing, but like my brain will anyway, anyway, anyway. I'm digressing and I need to stop digressing. So Yeah. Kinda feel like That's a little bit of me, standing on the hill, not letting anybody overwrite what I know is freakin' true. And Mary Lou, she protected her gift. You know, sometimes I think the thing I've spent my whole life protecting, sometimes badly, sometimes against everybody, is my own version of events. And you know what? I'm not giving that hell up, okay? The second pair, Knight of Cups with five of wands. So the second pair has sh Shardron or Truth. I always like how you say that. But you're most of y'all n y'all know the name. Y'all know the name. But let's give me give you the quick version. So she was born enslaved as Isabella in New York. and she actually walked her behind off the plantation with the baby girl in her arms, and she became the first black woman to ever win a court case against a white man, which she did to get her son back. And she renamed herself when she said the spirit called her. And she spent the rest of her life as one of the most powerful abolitionist and women's rights speakers this country has ever had. Her she has a speech, the I ain't I a woman speech. That's her. So the Knight of Cups, it basically moves on pure heart, compassion, and motion, following a calling. Le led by feeling and faith in Sir Jorner. She's the realest version of that. She said the spirit called her and she had to go and she took risk after risk for the people and causes that she loved. But it's blended with the five of wands. And the five of wands is back. It just slid from the third place to the second. Yay, we loved her see her. And y'all, y'all know it's not a fun one. Five people swinging sticks at nothing, friction, conflict, everybody talking over everybody. And last time I read this card kind of like it's outside friction. ⁓ the certain type of person weather I didn't ask for, okay. But ⁓ when I move it up to the second position and I sit it right next to the Knight of Cups, it kind of I feel like it's showing me just a little bit more tangerness. Because the hardest conflict in my life right now isn't with a stranger, it's the friction of loving people and still having them inside a frame where I feel like I have to be the problem. The five of ones like at the family table. I've been told to like just let it go. Just forgive. Stop being upset is what that translates to me. When all I'm just trying to do is be honest about what actually happened. And that is the six swinging. She droner, she moved on heart straight through opposition. And the version of that I'm living is moving on heart. Though the hardest opposition there is it can It's the kind that comes from people you actually love. And the lesson is the same. The friction being there, it doesn't mean I'm wrong. Sometimes it just means I'm telling the truth in the room that's not organized around here and it. And that's just that's just that that that's just my only reality check. And real quick, since the five of ones always brings me here, s and since some of y'all probably knew and might notice, I keep talking about certain things. Four years ago, I would have named it, tagged it, and set the whole thing on fire. I'm about to blow it down. Baby. Might just. Might just. Sorry. My friend actually is so freaking funny. My friend actually is so freaking funny, yo. Like, let me take the just a quick second. She is so freaking funny. And we are really funny together, I'm not gonna lie. both Pisces, only two days away from each other. she's March eighth or March 10th, but she is hilarious and like She has like like good like six songs that are like her songs and she like has this loudest speaker and she gives no Fs and she like blasted and then she just has like these dance and then so like she has rhythm. I don't have that much of it and so I like she would do her dance moves and I would like do it too and it just does not look the same. Anyway, anyway, I digress, I digress. Okay, let me go back, let me go back. ⁓ I just love her. I love her. I love her so much. I really do. appreciate her so much. ⁓ I forgot where d exactly I was talking about. The song like really just got in my head. It was already in my head. I always stem I always have s I never not I ever I never do not have like a song playing in my head. It's it's typically like switching every like ten seconds. And then if I say something a certain way, that's why I think I thought about it. 'Cause if I say something a certain way, it'll like take me straight into the song and I'll just forget everything else. ⁓ but anyway, like I say Four years ago, I would have named it, tagged it, set the whole thing on fire child. But I'm not doing that anymore. But I'm also not gonna sit here and act like stuff didn't happen because it did. And the people the people is about no good and well that I know. Like I like So, what you're gonna get is the compromise version. I'll tell you what happened, the side door, the borrowed occasion. Somebody using the one thing you share with the person they get at you with. I'm not gonna be handing any names. Because you know what? The story's mine to tell. And the lesson is the part that I think matters to a stranger. It's not really who anybody is. And that's not me being scared to say it. That's just me choosing not to throw it. And honestly, on the move itself, the one everybody thought would gut me, I've kind of arrived somewhere that it surprised even me to be real. I honestly don't really care that much. Not in the numb pretend way, but in the real way. Because Honestly, when I really, really look at it, it's just weird. It's so overt. Anyone can get ordained online in about five minutes, which means there are infinite neutral ways to do a thing like that. And the specific choice that was made, it removes the only innocent explanation. It's not about logistics. It was a choice with the target. And a move that audacious doesn't read to me as a wound anymore. It reads as a verdict on the person who made it. It tells on him and her, not me. You don't start a whole new life leaning on the people connected to the life you discarded unless something underneath it isn't what is being performed as. So you know what? Congrats on the window, I guess. You still get to manage to have my mom say that you doing this has nothing to do with me. And I love her. It's just And I know she loves me. And so it's so difficult like to have to hear her say that to me when I know my mom is so smart. And it's also like so interesting because it's like even if he really had no thought about me, isn't that a problem as well? Because I just think it's very inappropriate to do that. But The house still isn't yours. And the weird part was always yours to carry, not mine. When I say the house, I'm not talking about him. And I'm talking about the window. Like that's the way I'm just, you know? Whatever. But let's get to the third pair, 'cause I'm running out of time. ⁓ the third pair is the three of cups with the Ten of Pentacles. And the three of cups in this deck is Charlotte, Emily, and Anne Bronte. I don't hope I said that right. But They're sisters. So I'm gonna do a quick rundown from what I remember, okay? So basically these girls, they wrote under male pen names. I'll be honest with you, the white ones. No, no offense to white people at all. At all at all. I'm a black woman. Leave me alone, okay? But like not that not like I'm not that familiar. So like I had to write a little bit of notes. But ⁓ it's because when I g when I I've had this deck for like years and I like was very just excited to like learn a lot more about like black women. ⁓ that the cards were related to. So like when I got the book, ⁓ I really have only been like like I know a I know like all the stories of all the black women in in the R Women tarot book. But the white women and any other race. No, not any other race, but most I don't know as well off the top of my head, 'cause I haven't been as enthralled for years. Like, no offense, like I just I already know a lot about white people. And that's all so the I just wanna make sure no one thinks I'm like racist or something. Anyway, ⁓ But okay, so basically these were girls, women, three sisters, and they wrote under male pen names in the eighteen forties in England. And I do know I do know the book. I never read the books though. Jane Eyre and Wetherin Heights. I like a little too much like other type of fiction. Not that type of fiction. But ⁓ basically like they're like no one would take women writers seriously. And so they wrote Jane Eyre, I think it's called E Y R E Wuthering Heart Heights in Agnes Gray. ⁓ but the part that makes them the perfect Three of Cups is that they wrote these novels in the same room, which I really think is cool. And they read the pages out loud to each other over dinner every single night. That I think is so freaking cool. Okay? And I kinda wanna do something like that with Ashley. So I hope she wants to do it with me. I think she does. She loves me. But so anyway, the Three of Cups, though, is also back if you haven't noticed. But this time it has moved the most. It was in the second position last time and from the other deck. And now it's the very last seat and came up in the women's deck instead. And it kind of it makes me feel like my circle card went from the middle of the story to the closing note, the thing everything lands on. I'm just that's just kind of how I feel. And it's also blended with the Ten of Pentacles, which is the big legacy card, generational wealth, the lasting stuff, the foundation that outlives you. So when you put the richest legacy card on top of the sisterhood card. Sister and stick it to the end of the reading. The message is loud to me. It says that my actual wealth is my people, not someday now. Again, my best friend who lives down in the street, my Pisces. even though she's the red fish that'll burn the place down, and I'm the blue fish that'll cry about it. My loud, lovely clown of a neighbor who makes the whole block feel alive. My brother taking his life back into his own hands. Sticking with this treatment, and I'm so proud of him. I could literally cry. Even though I have my problem with mom. My mom and my stepdad ordered me food at 10:30 at night the other night. Because I worked like all day and was exhausted. And then again, my Libra girl, my daughter, who has again, like I said, a whole set of boundaries on her. I didn't even have to teach. She learned has a sign over my head that she wrote that she that I belong to her. With forever written like a cajillion times. And you know what? Again, like I said before, I am hers. That fact still stands. That's the Pentac Ten of Pentacles to me. The Bronte's Bronte's, the girls, love books. I get to be rich and people while I'm still here to enjoy it. And so let's move along to the bottom. King of Swords with the Ten of Swords. So again, the bottom of both decks is what I read as subconscious, though what you don't see coming. And it comes up with the King of Swords with the Ten of Swords. And my Ten of Swords is a ⁓ lady named I feel so bad because when I started, I started with two black women. I didn't realize it, right? And so I realized like How like intuitively I kinda like knew their st I know their stories off the top of my head. But I feel a little like, ⁓ I don't really know some of these people because again, I didn't really get anyway. I think I I think I've I think I've I think I've made my point. Okay. I hope people understand. I'm like, I'm not a racist. ⁓ at least I don't feel like I am. But maybe. ⁓ no, I'm not. I don't know what I'm saying anymore. Okay, so ⁓ Lupe Velis Velis. I should be careful, Jaquela, shut up. notice the King of Swords is also sitting at the bottom again, same as last poll. He will not move. That man is my anchor, apparently. But quick rundown on Lupe, because I don't really think black people know her anymore. But also I do think they should. ⁓ In like in Hollywood. And they called her the Mexican Spitfire. She was hilarious, magnetic. She gave blow for blow with every leading man, generous as anything, off screen. And she had a whole house of full of rescued animals. And her life ended in heartbreak when she was young. When she had she was like at a real low and she didn't have what she needed to get through it. And like, let me tell you something. Here's the thing. I have historically hated the Ten of Swords, removed it from my decks. Like, I'm done with you. It's the heartbreak card. Somebody face down with all the swords in their back. And every time it showed up, it made me feel like the people I wanted back were just never coming back and they didn't. But I think I finally figured out what my ten of swords has been about this whole time. And it's not romance. And it's not about him, by the way. I have other I have another. It's the death of a specific hope, is what I'm getting to. The hope that certain people I love will ever see a certain situation and a certain person. For what it actually is. And I think that's the stories in the back. Not a man leaving or a woman leaving, but a hope dying. The hope that the people closest to me would look at what happened and see it the way I see it with my own I feel like clear eyes and own receipts. But I'm starting to accept that on this subject they might never. And that's the heartbreak the card's been pointing at the whole time. I think I just kept reading as romantic because that's like the easier version. And you know, again, like I said, I'm gonna hope my mom with a lot of love 'cause I love her. And she's not a villain in my story, any story. She's my mom. And we are generally better than we've been in years. And that repair is real and I'm thankful for it. We've made actual process progress. But I'm being a little honest too, because honest and loving are opposites. I feel like I asked her the right questions recently, like the real ones and I still got the I believe him vibe back and that's the Ten of Swords. Not her exactly, but the death of the hope that acting the right way would finally make her see it my way, I guess. Like I guess of being actually understood because I know what I'm talking about is not up for interpretation. Like it's just wrong. I I was sexually social and lotta people don't believe me. And you know what? It is just what it is. But I know I didn't make it up. And I know I never lied about that. And I know I would not lie about that. It's not me. Period. Point blank. Boo. Okay? It's not. But It is what it is. You know? It is what it is. It's just a death of the hope that acting the right way would finally make her see it my way, I guess. You know what both things are true at once. She's grown, and on this particular thing, the hope just keeps dying. And I'm learning I can love her completely and still stop bringing my rawish truest truth to the one well that keeps handing it back to me refrained. Like Love and being seen are not always the same thing and grieving the gap between them I think is just kind of the same thing. It's like deciding somebody doesn't love you. I don't know, as I just feel honest. But here's why it didn't take me out this time, I feel like. And it's because the King of Swords is sitting right on top of it. And the King of Swords is the clear mind that cuts through the noise. He keeps anchoring the bottom of my deck. He's the part of me that can look dead at this and go, Okay, this is a death of a hope, not the death of me. And the guidebook also says it plain. The Ten of Swords is the close of a cycle and a new one starts. always starts after. It's not the end of the story. The clarity is mine even when the agreement isn't. And I I get to see it true even if nobody at the table ever co signs it. And you know what? There is somebody at the table who co-signs it. My own daughter and my best friend. And that's all I need. And Lupe she's a tender warning underneath all of that. And I wanna hold her gently because what took Lupe down it was heartbreak meeting isolation. The low moment with nobody in it. The guidebook, it it also asks the right exact right questions under her card. How can you be kind to yourself and who will reach out? Who will you reach out to for support? And that's the whole difference for me this time. I'm not disassociating off of this and disappearing into it alone like I used to. I'm feeling it out loud in real time. And I'm leaning into my circle five houses down instead of vanishing. This is the support the card is begging you to reach for. So what I don't see coming isn't more heartbreak, is that I already have clarity in the people. Lupe didn't, and that's what carries me through the swords with my own eyes open. So I'm at my end, okay? ⁓ But I want to circle back to it really quickly, okay? I gotta keep my eye on the time. ⁓ because it's been sitting with me with the whole reading. Four cards came back today. The Page of Pentacles, the Five of Wands, the Three of Cups, and the King of Swords. Same cards I pulled last time, just reshuffled into new seeds. I don't think that's nothing. Because this is literally the thing I keep landing on. The facts of my life are kind of already set. Like the food is cooked, played it, served. I can't re-cook a single bite of it. But the framing around the plate is the whole game. I meant that I said that. And here's my deck doing the exact same move in front of my face, same cards, rearranged, telling me the same story from a new angle. And it reads completely different depending on where each one sits. And the page that was a s side note is now lead leading now. My circle that was in the middle is the thing all lands on now. The friction card moved from strangers on my own family table. Same deck, different frame. And that's not me forcing a meaning. I think this just kind of what fell out, and it happens to be the truest thing I've got. Same life, better lens, but on purpose. And the sky of it all, very, very quick. Because it all kind of tracks down to what's going up up there right now. Mercury's about to go retrograde, so naturally the past comes back knocking, but a look back is not a U-turn. I'm say that again. I like that I said that last night. Okay. I can glance at where I've been without booking the whole trip again. I mean that Jupiter is moving into my 12th house and all that grace and mercy in the hidden private places. Which is exactly why these thoughts live in a little old quiet corner in the internet and not anywhere allowed. Because I like that I said it too before, Grace does not need an audience. And Saturn and Neptune, they're about to get ready to go retrograde in my eighth. Structure and surrender basically like being in the same room. Yay. But it's the one place where things die and get reborn, walking me through the only thing I've really had to learn the hard way. How to care deeply and to hold loosely y'all. Loose, okay. Door closed, but have the heart still behind it. But like I said, I really used to go off for real, name it, tag it, set the whole thing on fire. I'm about to burn this down, baby. Sorry, Ellie, may it may it may I'm messing your stuff up. But these days I'ma let the chart do the talking and the throne do the sitting, I'm gonna spend my energy on the people who pay me back in laughter instead of lessons. And that's the long beautiful list. And that's where my thank you is living. So if something of mine gets rearranged, okay, fine. I clock it. I notice it hurts. I'ma let it be exactly as big as it actually is. Now I'ma stay standing anyway. Clear? Soft? Still me. I'm really starting to understand that the last part was never the problem. Still me is the whole floor this house is built on, okay? You know what? The ten of swords they showed up, and this time I finally understood it. It was never the man, it was never the woman, it was a hope I had to let die. That the people I love would see what I see. And even that didn't take me out, yo. Because the clarity is still mine, and so are the people who are mine. You know what? A news cycle's already starting and I f feel like I'ma see it with my eyes open. Even though Mercury's about to be in retrograde, so we may have a few struggles, okay? 'Cause every view period can be rough but necessary. Have a good one. I'm about to close this down. Baby. ⁓ but