Latest / iRefresh Podcast / No Longer Unseen or "Not Enough" | Elana Van Deventer | EP 126

Transcript

No Longer Unseen or "Not Enough" | Elana Van Deventer | EP 126 · iRefresh Podcast

• 0:10
  where we talk about the impact of prayer in God's Word. Welcome to another episode of our podcast, and I'm so excited to have a dear friend from Canada via South Africa, and that's Ilana. Welcome.
• 0:25
  Thank you so much. Thanks for having me. I am so glad that God has connected us for us to just we've been able to share with each other through Zoom. And now I would want them to introduce you to your expertise and then going back to not just that, but really what even caused you to go from...
• 0:47
  your childhood, maybe if you want to highlight that, let our audience know really why God has purposely chosen you to walk into a place because I hear you are a certified neural, was it neural cycle? Yes. Wow. That is huge. So tell us more about who you are as a speaker, an author, and you've got quite a resume. Share with us.
• 1:16
  It's funny, every time I hear what God has done through me, I'm just amazed by how incredible he is and how nothing goes to waste with him. Because someone that had a brain injury at a very young age
• 1:31
  to now write to leadership publications and being able to even just speak in front of people. Like I remember as a very young girl, after I had the brain injury, going to school, I always struggled. I always struggled to even read in class. I couldn't read in front of my peers.
• 1:53
  And I really had a struggle going all through my school years as well. And just to see what I'm doing now, how God is using. And it's so funny, the enemy really tapped into that belief that I had for 40 years. I call it my 40 years in the desert where I was not enough.
• 2:15
  I was not capable. I was not deserving. Those were the really, really most dominant thoughts that I had years of evidence of in my life.
• 2:26
  And how God just really restored and renewed. And where I'm now, where I'm running in obedience with the lights in my heart. And it's not about me. It's all about him. But it's just so freeing and so incredible when we, not just me, but when we start sharing our testimonies. I remember before I stepped out.
• 2:48
  And I had this thought popped into my mind that they're going to find out. They're going to find out that you are not enough, that you are not deserving, that you are fake. Like all those beliefs. And I identified the source super quickly. Like the question that I asked myself is, who told me this? Who told me this? And the enemy really tried to silence me. And I just love...
• 3:17
  sharing what God did in my life. And when we share it, it becomes a survival guide for someone else. It creates that hope in minds and hearts. And also it steers them back to the one that's actually
• 3:31
  behind it all, who is our hope, who created this change, this renewal that happened. If I have to summarize my own journey in one sentence, it would be someone that flatlined in their own life to God really revived my heart from the inside out and then revived my mind from the inside out. And so now I walk in that. But just, yeah, so I said I had a brain injury at a very young age. I grew up with these limiting beliefs.
• 3:58
  I struggled with an eating disorder at some stage. There was just all these limiting, limiting things that I self-imposed more than anything else on my life. I remember growing up with people affirming over my life that, you know what, you're not glitter, but you are pretty.
• 4:17
  And so I ended up making that my purpose that if I get into modeling, then that my identity would be affirmed and I would be walking in my purpose because someone that is pretty, she should be on magazines and taking photos off and because that's what I'm then created for. So I really rooted my identity in my doing and, um,
• 4:42
  When we immigrated to Canada, we moved to, funny enough, we moved from a big city, Johannesburg, to the smallest, I think in my mind it is one of the smallest towns in Canada. I remember arriving in Canada.
• 4:57
  It was minus 15. And I was like, there's no events. There's no opportunities to be seen and get invited. And I felt like I lost myself. I lost my identity because I rooted it in my doing so much. And when it was all taken away from,
• 5:21
  I really fell into a deep depression. And like I said, I called it my unearthing. God really unearthed me. I see it now. That was like one of the things that needed to happen because my alignment was all off. And so we were in this small town and there was so much shame and guilt in struggling, like feeling the emotions. I grew up in church.
• 5:48
  I know that we are supposed to take our thoughts captive, we are supposed to renew our minds. At that stage I had this belief that we as Christians, if we struggle, and that's why there was so much shame and guilt involved, then I'm not a good enough Christian. Then I don't believe enough because as a Christian we shouldn't struggle.
• 6:11
  And so I was really just isolating myself, not just really stepped away from my family in a sense as well. And I make a joke out of this, but it is real. I've seen the enemies alive and well. And at some stage I was so, so in this deep spiral that I contemplated, first of all, I wanted to get rid of my husband because I believed that
• 6:39
  That he was the reason that I'm not where I should be or would be. By now, he's the reason why everything was taken away from me. So you lost your security of where you were known. You lost your purpose because... I lost my purpose. Okay. So the move literally took you away from your job and your family. I'm assuming everyone was there.
• 7:01
  And you lost what in your mind's eye was family, it was my identity, my job, my purpose, stayed in Africa. Yes, everything was taken away. Family, everyone gone. Being seen, going to events, getting all dressed up, it was all taken away. And I just felt purposeless, worthless, and stuck. And the only...
• 7:31
  And I pinpointed it to that my husband is the reason that I am struggling. I wanted a divorce. I wanted out. I wanted to feel seen and wanted again. And that was obviously written on all earthly things. And I...
• 7:51
  When I couldn't follow through, obviously we have kids, I remember the next option was to get rid of myself then. So I planned to take my own life.
• 8:06
  And there was just so much shame and guilt, and there was no one that I could say, I'm struggling. I was asking for prayer, and that is one thing that I can share out of my own journey. When someone asks, especially you,
• 8:23
  pray for people and then you're doing it so beautifully but you you also listen to people and so when i reached out um in a way that i that i could and i and i saw fit there was always just like i'll pray for you and what i actually wanted is not someone just to say they will pray for me but someone to listen to me
• 8:45
  I just needed someone to listen to me. And so I always say, when someone asks you for prayer, pause. Yeah. Here. You don't know how to pray for someone you're not willing to listen to. And I'm learning more and more is how people need to...
• 9:02
  the hearing is part of being seen, which I know you do highlight that as well, is the significance that we get when we can voice whatever that is, that there is a safe place, which this is what we do with iRefresh. We love the ability for it to have a safe place for someone to be authentic and know like you can lay that there because Jesus already knows what we think, but we can release that. The whole thing too is release all of those things
• 9:29
  stresses and the things, whether they're a spiral negative thing, and then let the Holy Spirit help us to redirect His truth to us. So, you know, I think that's just a good reminder for any, you don't even have to be qualified. Everyone's qualified because we can all listen and hear before we start giving advice. Like, I think we're always quick when we hear something like, oh, I relate to you, or oh, let me give you advice. And
• 9:56
  That is absolutely, from what I'm hearing, that's not what you were needing. No, no. We already know if when you are struggling with anxiety or depression, any emotion, like these emotions, we are aware there's already an awareness. And we reaching out, there's already a take so much of us just to say, I'm not okay.
• 10:22
  right i'm not okay and i i just need someone to listen and i remember my husband is also he's very he's a near cycle he's a he does near a cycle he believes in it with all his heart because at some whenever i he wanted to fix me and that's what we do we we wanted to just fix someone and i already feel like i need to be fixed right
• 10:46
  So just doing that is just pointing, like, there's something wrong with me. There's, I mean, there must be something wrong with me because everyone wants to fix me. And I really just wanted to, wanted to be heard. Like you said, I wanted to be heard. I wanted to be seen. I wanted to be, I wanted to feel safe.
• 11:07
  And so there was one day where I dropped the kids off at school and it was the day. And I remember sitting on the carpet and I just, I had nothing left to give. I was done striving and trying and hustling. Hustling is forceful action. I was tired of trying to do it all to find myself again.
• 11:36
  And I was just really, really struggling with all these emotions at that time and just this ruminating of how...
• 11:46
  unloved I am and unworthy and just like over and over and over and I remember I was sitting on the carpet and there was just this one moment of total surrender and I literally just put my head back on the bed and I was just I'm done.
• 12:08
  I'm done. And I was like, God, if you are really real, then this is the moment because I'm about to end it all. And so what they've actually, what research shows is that there is this moment that happens and they called it the installment of hope. I didn't know that at the time. And they looked at kamikaze pilots. Why don't, why is there some of them that,
• 12:36
  doesn't follow through on the, on the mission. And so they are trained to put their head down. And that's what happens when we are going through depression and anxiety and, and we, our head is down and we are so focused on, on the situation and the mission for them. It's the mission. And so they ruminate over and over the mission and what they, what they're about to do. And so the same, very similar to when you struggle with depression, anxiety. Yeah.
• 13:03
  And what happened is what they noticed is those that didn't follow through, there was a split moment where they lifted their heads. And all of a sudden they realized there's more to life than just this. They matter. There's something bigger than themselves. And that is, in psychology, they actually call it the installment of hope. Now, I can't say that that...
• 13:30
  there was hope for the rest of my life. I can just say there was hope for that moment for me to choose not to follow through. Yes. And the next day I had to choose to not follow through. And again, it's our mind in action is our thinking, feeling and choosing that I didn't know at the time. And so I was just choosing daily to just show up.
• 13:58
  just choosing daily to take one step at a time. And I remember COVID actually happened more or less at the same time. And so there was already, I was unearthed and then we were all unearthed, but it was the blessing that really came out of that for me where the world was quiet. So I couldn't reach out to people.
• 14:21
  to photographers or pursue or hustle or strive to be seen in the land light. And so it was that period and phase where I could get up earlier. I managed to get up earlier. And while the household was still, it was quiet,
• 14:41
  And I just sat with the Lord. And I was just choosing daily to sit with the Lord. And I remember he gave me this vision. And at that moment, it didn't mean anything. I just, I just, I was holding on to it. And it was a tree.
• 14:56
  And I actually printed it out as soon as I got the vision. It was a tree and the bottom was a brain. And that's exactly what I do now. The girl with the broken brain was labeled as the broken brain. It's now helping others to renew their brains, their minds, their minds.
• 15:19
  And that's just God. That is incredible. I mean, I love how God, it's like the irony of it all is it's out of our brokenness that when the God comes and he does a restoration, then that's in that place of hurt is now he comes back to then help you to forge a place where you can help other people. That is so powerful. I love that story.
• 15:43
  God is so in the details. When I look back and I look at a thought puzzle, everything together, and then move, and why was this door closed at that time? And why did this door open? I just see his fingerprint all over it and how one thing led to another thing. After my journey of where my healing started,
• 16:07
  I created, of course, the Revive Method because that's really what I felt happened in my own life. I was revived from the inside out. And it was all regarding identity alignment because that is where I was misaligned. And so with the Revive Method, I knew it's six weeks long. But when I had people signing up already, I only had the first week created.
• 16:38
  And God just trust me. Just trust me. I'm like, this is scary. This is scary. I have people that's paying and I only have the first week planned out. And God really spoke to me. It's like, because I don't want you to build this for yourself.
• 16:53
  I want you to build it for the people that's here. And so the first week I got enough info and feedback to build the second week. And I really served them and what they needed and not build something for what I needed.
• 17:10
  Wow. That's walking by faith. Well, part of me would think, well, are you testing the Lord as well? Like, okay, Lord, come on, drop it down on me and help me to get it done. Did you feel stressed? Because I'm like, that would seem a little bit over the top as far as like, will I meet the expectations of these people that are coming for help from me?
• 17:33
  I think it was I disconnected myself from meeting their expectation and just following God's
• 17:42
  heart for them. So I had to stay close to the Holy Spirit and I had to stay close to him and plugged in because before I was not plugged into the vine at all. And so I learned to really stay close and stay in tune and really pay attention when he speaks and creating those quiet moments where I can hear him.
• 18:04
  And really just allowing him to guide me. Because at that stage, I still had the beliefs. It was still there. But I just knew that I knew that I knew that I can't just keep quiet anymore. And I have to speak out regarding...
• 18:22
  The shame and guilt that I carried, I knew that there's so many people that are struggling in silence. And so the mission became more important to me than the discomfort. I was literally choosing a discomfort. I could choose to sit in the room with door open or I could choose to walk through the door open.
• 18:44
  And I pray it still, less of me, more of you, God. Less of me, more of you. I run after you with the light in my heart. Think with my mind, speak with my mouth, and act with my body. There's a discomfort that happens because we have to rely on Him.
• 19:00
  We have to simply choose which one are we settling for. But, you know, it takes the discipline that you're saying that because when you you said when you were coming out of that, the depression and that overwhelming desire to just stop, stop your world out of the pain. Yeah.
• 19:18
  So many people are going through that. And there's so many reasons why that they're unseen, unheard, or ignored, or just too much pain to deal with. But from where I hear is that place where you had to step in faith and trust God and make the choice. Because, you know, the Lord gives us these commands, but we still have to say, I died to myself in order to choose him. Yeah.
• 19:46
  knowing that there's the hope that what he has for us is so much better. I mean, his word says that if we would get into knowing, well, what does his word say to where I'm desperate? I mean, the psalmist was so much. David was very depressed or even Elijah, like right after a miracle, he's like he went way into depression because all of a sudden there's Jezebel ready to chase him down and kill him. And it was such a contrast of victory then to depression and I'm ready to die.
• 20:16
  And yet I'm hearing you give something that I wanted to really highlight is that you made a point of changing the thought process. You did not continue to entertain the thought that was going to lead you to death, literally. Yes. And it's again, we all, it's free will. It's a choice. Everything is a choice. And faith is active. It's not saying sit by faith. Right.
• 20:45
  Right. Say, look, my face. There's an action involved. And so it's a choosing over and over and over. And that's, again, it's our mind in action. It's thinking, feeling, and choosing. What a transformation then. When you think from now, you came from that transformation. How did you hear your new identity and your purpose that you had before? You lost it. Yeah.
• 21:10
  Now, what was the revelation on the other side of making choices? I had to take my thoughts captives. I had to start by taking my thoughts captives, seeing where it all came from, going to the origin story and really heal that, deconstruct it because deconstruction is how we take our thoughts captives. We take it out. We take it out.
• 21:33
  And that's what I'm doing now, what I help my clients with now, and what I get to do, which God just led me to this. Because what I was getting into with the revived method is there was a missing link. And that's, again, when I look back, how God led me to the next thing. So the revived method was wonderful. We had prophetic words speaking into these incredible women's lives. It was a beautiful, beautiful community. But yeah.
• 22:02
  I identified, and in my own life as well, that there was a missing link. A lot of us stayed in the rooms, like I said, with the door open. And I wanted to know, why is that? Why are we not breaching the gap? And so this led me to what I'm doing now. And again, God is just so
• 22:23
  good with I always pray for God just open and close doors if something if a door closes I know you are protecting me from things I don't even know about yet and I'll never know about and if a door opens I will continue to walk by faith and I will walk through it and so
• 22:42
  What I took away from the rise method, I put it on pause because I need to know the missing link, not just for them, but for myself as well. And then I got this marketing email from Dr. Caroline Leaf. I never read a book. I remember deleting the first email and it's like, there's no way I'm not qualified. I'm not enough. I'm not deserving all those beliefs.
• 23:04
  And I, the Holy spirit, Holy spirit is incredible. God. I see it when we work with our warning signals, he guides so beautifully, so gracious. And, um, I got an email again, the marketing people are incredible. So I just felt like the Holy spirit is prompting me to dig into this and really give it some, some time. And so I, I,
• 23:30
  Long story short, I ended up applying and I got accepted. And so where my sustainable and lasting healing, where it really, really happened is when I took my stops captives, when I deconstructed my story, my memories, my origin stories, and I was able to reconceptualize it and stabilize it and grow it, renew my mind ultimately.
• 24:00
  and to where I'm now, where I help others to do exactly that. Taking our thoughts, kept us through renewing our minds. The Bible tells us, scripture tells us, above all else God, your heart, for everything you do flows from it. When we look at the word heart, the Hebrew definition is leif, meaning consciousness, center.
• 24:21
  Everything flows from it. So if you have your life hit in the direction of your most dominant thoughts. So that's what I had to, for sustainable healing and transformation and change, had to go through the process. And it takes time. Right.
• 24:39
  And then I could, the little girl that started believing that she's not enough was actually our front and the origin story. And when I could see it, I could change it. I could reconceptualize it because it was a three-year-old girl whose dad was, my dad is still my hero, but my little girl, her dad left to go for training for six months. And that little girl, me, took it as a,
• 25:05
  I'm not enough for my dad to stay. That's why he's going. It's a misunderstanding. Misunderstanding. My dad lived to create a better future for us as a family.
• 25:20
  But I started believing it. What we focus on grows. And I know it sounds crazy, but it's like a three-year-old. That was true to me. Because for six months, my dad left me behind. And we were super close. And so it wasn't even the brain injury. Usually with things, limits that my mom and dad was at, unknowingly, they were always just, they wanted to protect me. And so they would say things to protect me. But it was feeding into a belief that I already had about myself.
• 25:50
  Wow. And they had no idea. So they didn't know how to support you because it's just in your brain. This is on overload thinking the opposite of what their really intent was.
• 26:02
  And yeah, because there was no communication, I didn't say, I feel this way. And that's why mind management is so key and asking our kids and each other, even like as adults, like, what are you feeling? Why do you think you feel this way? A lot of our thoughts are real. Our thoughts are valid, but they're not always true. Good point. Yes. Yes.
• 26:26
  And so if we don't go there, we can't. It's a beautiful process where you get it out of your non-conscious mind, which is the most powerful part of your mind. And we don't even know how incredibly powerful it is yet because God just created us with this incredible non-conscious mind. And...
• 26:47
  When you go there, so how we take our thoughts captive is a deliberate mind management process of getting it out of your non-conscious mind with all your memories and your trauma and experiences. It's all stored in there. And when the scripture tells us about all else got your heart, it is speaking about all your senses. Yeah.
• 27:15
  It's what are you looking at? Yeah. So it's all the emotions. It's the body. It's the mind. It's like everything attached to it. Everything we think, feel, discover. We're supposed to capture and consider what is that to know if it's a truth. Yes. So is that what you have when you're breaking those down? Yeah.
• 27:36
  So deconstruction, great question. Deconstruction happens when we start using those valuable messengers and guides that God has given us. And we tap into that. And that's where we draw it out of our non-conscious mind. Because what happens if we get it into our conscious mind? It's actually malleable. We can change it.
• 27:59
  So emotions, those things that we use to suppress, those things that we had to cause emotional congestion, which we see as leading to minor and major illnesses because we've got a mind-brain-body connection. So getting it, using those guides, emotions, another beautiful one is behaviors. What am I doing? What am I saying? Perspective, warning signal, bodily sensation, emotions.
• 28:26
  Warning signal. So that's the first step of taking your thoughts captive.
• 28:32
  You ask yourself those questions. And now all of a sudden, you're drawing all the information up into your conscious mind. And you can actually see it. And now you can start doing something about it. So when you go through that process, when you're working with clients, then it sounds to me, then you're helping them to identify and breaking it down in such a way. So do they really gain that perspective? Because sometimes, like you said, sometimes what we think...
• 28:59
  if we were to actually ask somebody, like, do you really feel or you feel or think this way? Because it comes off as like you get so upset. You know, there's times where we just misunderstand each other, whether it's in our relationship with our spouse or in friendships. Our actions sometimes, they're misguided in what it means. So do you help ensure that the perspective they have is an accurate one? Because a lot of times it's really not accurate.
• 29:28
  it's not accurate a lot of times it is because our thoughts create our emotions emotions create our behaviors affirming our original thought so when someone is behaving a certain way this because they're feeling a certain way because they're thinking a certain thing and often what i we have this we call it multiple perspective advantage
• 29:52
  Very simple explanation of it is when we struggle to shift our perspective, and this is where the audit spirit is so incredible, what advice would I give someone else? That's the simplified version of explanation of it. Because one, we distance ourselves of the emotions. Emotions are actually, we are, there's a 90-second reaction that happens in our bodies when we react to something.
• 30:20
  When we choose, we actually, when it stays, when we're in this emotional loop, after that 90 seconds, it's simply us choosing to stay in it. And the stories that we create from that is what sticks.
• 30:36
  Wow, that's interesting. So if somebody said something like a really bad thing, if we waited 90 seconds, we could still on the other side of that then make a choice of I'm not going to react badly to what someone just said.
• 30:54
  You can react not from the emotion then. Okay. Because currently you're just feeling and that's driving your behavior. So we call it the pause, the power of the pause. When we pause, we gain more clarity. But we also make more sense of what did this person just say. I think there's something that happens when we realize the way people behave is not...
• 31:18
  It's got nothing to do with us usually. It's often something that they're struggling with themselves. And then we often turn gracefully.
• 31:28
  Exactly. No, that's really good. You know, it makes so much more sense when you realize, you know, there's no need to react. And I think it makes sense when you look at the, wow, the word of God is like, he's like being slow to anger, slow to speak, because we're caught up in right now that a moment of emotions that are like, whoa. And I can see like a lot of times when I get so caught in something and I'm stressing myself out,
• 31:54
  I know I have to literally step back, take a deep breath so that I can look from a different point of view. So I've learned to try to do the pause. And I love how you talk about that, that the power of the pause. We could save ourselves so much grief between relationships with that alone.
• 32:12
  There's one question I often ask myself when I see my husband behaving a certain way. He's not voicing it. We can't read each other's minds. So we have to communicate it with each other and explain. Lavi, I call my husband Lavi. Lavi, this is how I'm feeling. This is why I'm feeling this way. This is why I'm doing this. And we can literally do a mind management and reflect that to him and resolve that.
• 32:42
  the whole issue because I'm assuming he's upset with me because he's looking a little bit standoffish. He's, he's minding his own business. I, I assume assumption he's crust. He's upset. He's, he's with me. Right.
• 32:58
  but he's that's just an assumption something happened at work he's trying to figure something out in his mind and so he's quiet so when we articulate what we're thinking this is what I'm thinking this is why I'm doing this this is what I'm thinking and this is the reason the root to be caused the why
• 33:18
  Now, all of a sudden, we know it's not me. Again, behavior, it's not about me. And we can actually sit together and simple things that you can ask. So what advice would you give someone else? What advice would you give someone else? But I use this question often. Who told me this? When I'm thinking something or I'm assuming something, who told me this?
• 33:46
  We identify the roots super quick when we pause and we ask ourselves instead of assuming it's the truth. You're right. I think we live in a world of assumption.
• 33:59
  And, you know, we can do all kinds of things. It's amazing. We can stretch ourself out and blood pressure could go up in like moments, you know, when we just hear one thing and we interpret in our brain something and we're acting to it. And it is amazing how fast our brain can go. But to me, the resources of what you're providing is really, like you said, deconstructing, bringing it back to where you manage.
• 34:27
  those thoughts. And that's such a great, powerful way to be able to ask questions to get really more methodical versus caught up in the emotion. That's so valuable. The struggles we have, a lot of it is misguided thoughts where we see something, we evaluate it. And based on our life experience at that moment, that's our perspective.
• 34:49
  As we get older, as I've gotten older, I've seen perspectives like I used to have that perspective. And now I can kind of chill on something. I'm like, it's no big thing. You can let something go. But you really bring a lot of value for us. And I want you to kind of explain to more of what you're doing and who is your audience? Like, who do you work with to try to help that whole process? Because I'm like, every one of us needs what you're bringing.
• 35:17
  I love that you're saying that because every client, as soon as we're done, they're like, everyone needs this. And it's funny, while you're doing your own neurocycle and you manage your own mind, you identify everyone else that could benefit from the cycle.
• 35:33
  All of a sudden, there's that heightened awareness. And like I said, I want to do the bumper sticker. The majority of my clients are either in church leadership or in business. And I just love it. I love that I get to do this. I love that I can serve them and help them create that breakthrough process.
• 35:52
  in lasting breakthrough in their own lives. So when we have all these tools, and I look at my books right here on my right, it's like you, it's you flying a plane. That's basically what mind management is. You are flying a plane. And the tools that we've collected is part of the takeoff and part of the landing. But we didn't
• 36:17
  We didn't take off and we didn't land because we didn't use the engine and the engine is our mind. So the missing piece that we've identified in is our mind. We've lost the ability of deep thinking and mind management. And so it's when we learn how to manage our mind, we can actually go from where we are to where we want to be by now.
• 36:46
  using the engine. That's so good. You have messages of hope. You're wanting to help bring restoration, no matter how desperate someone has been in their lives. You have a method in a way that the Lord's showed it to you, even pre-Dr. Carolese. And I'm,
• 37:04
  I would love for you, what's on your heart that you want to share it and speak to those who are in a place, whether they've lost their dream or it's buried, maybe there's anxiety, fear, things that are stressing them out. I would love to hear you just speak to them and encourage them.
• 37:23
  I love that question because I share this often because again, it's from my own story, but I remember when I was about to step into what I feel called to, there was like the highlight reel of reasons why I shouldn't do it. Why it's the resistance, why it's not a good idea. And when I studied, well, first of all, I grew up waiting to be fearless.
• 37:49
  I remember I had a t-shirt even be fearless and I'm still waiting. I'm 42 and I'm still waiting to be fearless. It's not happening. What I've learned is that God created this emotion because fear is in motion and fear.
• 38:07
  It's a normal reaction when it's not a sign that you're doing something wrong. And I actually started using it as a guide. When I feel that resistance and I have the sign, I realize why I shouldn't. It's an indication that I'm actually doing something different than this, just a to-do list. I'm actually stepping into an area where, one, I am busy growing, extending myself as well. But an area where there's resistance, you know you're on the right path.
• 38:34
  But what internally happens with us when we say yes, because that was my thing. Yes, Lord, whatever it takes, I'll do it.
• 38:44
  You can expect fear to be present. You can expect those highlight real reasons why you shouldn't self-doubt, all of it. What happens is internally your brain is to the scan. And it basically, when it finds no evidence that what you are about to step in, that you've done it before,
• 39:05
  It just wants to keep you safe. Like, no, let's rather just, I care for you. I call fear care because it cares for us. It wants to keep us safe.
• 39:17
  But it's basically just that feeling is present because we haven't survived this uncertainty, this new thing yet. And so when we continue running in obedience and we take small steps every day and we, that competency, confidence is another word that we can dig into for another day.
• 39:39
  The confidence, this missing piece, I remember growing up when I thought, if I just had more confidence, I would be able to speak in front of my class. If I just had more confidence, I would be able to do this. And the root of confidence, the deeper meaning is for dear. And for dear means trust once with. Wow.
• 40:03
  Where we are worth from. How do we, we have to know the one that created us in order for us to know ourselves. When we know ourselves, we be ourselves confidently. And these, when we step out, we do it afraid. I remember walking into that classroom or that hall where we went for training. And I literally, my knees were knocking. If it was quiet, I probably would have heard it as well.
• 40:32
  I was dead scared. But when we step out and we run in obedience, and I say it every morning, Lord, I run in obedience with the light. The light is the ceiling on our dreams. I run with the light in my heart. Less of me, more of you. Again, I think it was my mind, speak with my mouth. My body. Now we've stepped out and we've done a little thing that we have no evidence of.
• 40:59
  competent we feel a little bit more competent we feel a little bit more confidence they said self a little bit more self-dressed self um you're trusting yourself a little bit more and you've you've it's in your bank and it's an ongoing thing you know you do you you're doing new things constantly
• 41:21
  Again, you feel that emotion of fear. But I think we, I grew up thinking I have to first get rid of that. Again, emotions were labeled as bad. If you showed emotions, negative, it was like, what's wrong with you?
• 41:36
  Again, I need to be fixed. There's something wrong with me. What's wrong with you? Again, the opposite, positive emotions were also labeled as not good because then you're full of yourself. So we've learned to suppress it. Suppress it all. Keep it in. And it's actually supposed to guide us. Supposed to just be there for 90 seconds. But we've learned to actually suppress it all. Keep it in. But it's beautiful, valuable messengers.
• 42:02
  And I use it as a guide when it's present. I know I'm busy working on something meaningful. It's not my to do. It's not a to do list. That's so good. Did I answer your question? That's so good. You know, I think I would love to really tell the people where they can go and learn more about what you do and how to connect with you.
• 42:24
  So they can go to Instagram. I'm very active in my DMs. That's a quick way to get hold of me. Or they can go to my website, www.ilanavandavinter.com, or they can email me at ilana.neurocycle at gmail.com. But I would say number one, Instagram, you'll find me there in the DMs. That's perfect.
• 42:51
  Thank you so much. You have just highlighted something I think is so important. I think almost anybody but everybody could really use the tools that you have taught. And I know that connecting with you and even just watching the things that you have on your Instagram, because I enjoy watching those and listening to those.
• 43:11
  they really are good reminders and triggers for us to get back to the right thinking. And one of the things we've done is taken the word of God, and we call it love notes from God, because it is God's word is his love note to us to say, this is how I think of you. This is how I value you. And we've learned how to...
• 43:31
  take the scriptures, and then on the back of the verse, on the back of these cards, we actually have how to learn to how to speak that word into our lives to really help in that process, like you're doing, is retraining our whole process of thinking and beginning to know the mind of God. And when I begin to know who He says I am, boy, it really is a transformation part in our lives. So sure. Amen to that.
• 43:59
  Well, it is a blessing to have you and we're excited. We have got some great news coming up, more about what she's going to be doing here in Tulsa. So stay tuned.