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Too Much? Annie Gonzalez Is Just Getting Started · Dos Amigos

• 0:08
  Speaker 1: Hey, how you doing.
• 0:08
  Speaker 2: This is Freddie Rodriguez.
• 0:10
  Speaker 3: And I'm Wilman about the rama. Welcome to the Those
• 0:12
  Speaker 3: Amigos podcasts. We are excited for today's episode, indeed, because
• 0:17
  Speaker 3: we have.
• 0:17
  Speaker 2: Who do we have a third Amigama?
• 0:21
  Speaker 1: Who is it? Please, ladies and gentlemen.
• 0:23
  Speaker 3: I know he's gonna sound the horn because it's that
• 0:25
  Speaker 3: he loves to do it, you know.
• 0:26
  Speaker 2: Yeah, there you go.
• 0:27
  Speaker 3: He did it early, but we're gonna just gotta go
• 0:29
  Speaker 3: with it. Uh, everybody, please help me. Welcome one of
• 0:32
  Speaker 3: my dearest sisters in life. I love her so much. Yes,
• 0:35
  Speaker 3: she's one of the most talented people I've ever met
• 0:37
  Speaker 3: in my agree. Her aura is giving super stardom, giving
• 0:43
  Speaker 3: Zion ready given now and next. I concur she's given
• 0:48
  Speaker 3: now and next and next. Annie Gonzalez, he loves that horn.
• 0:55
  Speaker 3: That's like his favorite thing. And I will tell you
• 0:58
  Speaker 3: that we were very excited to have you in this
• 1:01
  Speaker 3: podcasts for many reasons. Some of the conversations we've been
• 1:04
  Speaker 3: having rhyme with the spirit of who you are.
• 1:09
  Speaker 1: A lot of it this.
• 1:10
  Speaker 3: Is about kind of inspiration and dig into like who
• 1:14
  Speaker 3: we really are. But it's really also kind of tapping into.
• 1:19
  Speaker 1: You know, uh.
• 1:20
  Speaker 3: That that who you were versus what you are and
• 1:23
  Speaker 3: where you want to be and you know, so all
• 1:24
  Speaker 3: these conversations are really relevant. But also it's kind of
• 1:27
  Speaker 3: a moment to give you flowers too, you know. And
• 1:30
  Speaker 3: I think this podcast is about making sure you realize
• 1:33
  Speaker 3: that some of us in this community, uh look at
• 1:35
  Speaker 3: you as the future of our culture, and we're very
• 1:39
  Speaker 3: excited to uplift.
• 1:41
  Speaker 1: You on that level.
• 1:42
  Speaker 3: And I'm going to just say a few projects for
• 1:44
  Speaker 3: all of our amazing listeners and everyone who gets to
• 1:47
  Speaker 3: watch us as well. From the early work, let me see,
• 1:52
  Speaker 3: would you say hand to Fight? It was one of
• 1:54
  Speaker 3: those pittible moments for you.
• 1:56
  Speaker 4: Definitely, Yeah, that was like.
• 1:58
  Speaker 3: A moment I was, uh, this is where I met her.
• 2:02
  Speaker 3: I got a chance to do a little cameo on
• 2:04
  Speaker 3: that show. It was on Netflix. It was authentic, it
• 2:07
  Speaker 3: was raw, it was unapologetic, and and that's when the
• 2:10
  Speaker 3: world first got to see Anni Gonzalez. Hand to Fight
• 2:14
  Speaker 3: is available on Netflix now, so you guys, definitely catch
• 2:17
  Speaker 3: up on that. The next big thing that I want
• 2:20
  Speaker 3: everyone to find because she's also on Disney Plus right now.
• 2:22
  Speaker 1: It's flaming hot.
• 2:23
  Speaker 3: The stories of the of the creator of hot Cheetos,
• 2:26
  Speaker 3: and she played the incomparable backbone of the family. The
• 2:31
  Speaker 3: reason why this all was possible was she was the
• 2:34
  Speaker 3: matriarch of that family and uh, you know, Salas played
• 2:37
  Speaker 3: a beautiful character there, Latina. Yes, and then you know,
• 2:42
  Speaker 3: we have driveaway dolls. This is twenty twenty four. That
• 2:46
  Speaker 3: was really really uh incredible cast. Yeah, to say a
• 2:51
  Speaker 3: few Uh, let me see Pedro, Pascal, Matt Damon, all
• 2:55
  Speaker 3: those guys.
• 2:56
  Speaker 1: You know, some of those guys, I think they still
• 2:57
  Speaker 1: work right. Stuff is still the stuff.
• 3:00
  Speaker 3: And then she played Jenny and the Jenny rivera I biopic,
• 3:04
  Speaker 3: which you know, we're also really proud of immortalizing that story.
• 3:07
  Speaker 2: As well, carrying it on your shoulders.
• 3:09
  Speaker 3: And you know, and we're gonna talk about what you
• 3:11
  Speaker 3: got an eggs and when you got out and you
• 3:12
  Speaker 3: got all that and yeah, but say a few words,
• 3:16
  Speaker 3: you know, tell us how are you feeling today?
• 3:17
  Speaker 4: So many words, so many feelings today.
• 3:20
  Speaker 5: No, I'm feeling so great and energized, honestly. I mean,
• 3:26
  Speaker 5: you know, I'm like, first and foremost I'm big fans
• 3:29
  Speaker 5: of the both of you, and then getting to know
• 3:32
  Speaker 5: you throughout the last couple of years. You were actually
• 3:34
  Speaker 5: one of the first people when I started getting my
• 3:37
  Speaker 5: career up and going. You were like, I want to
• 3:39
  Speaker 5: have a zoom with you. Let's talk. Who are you?
• 3:40
  Speaker 5: And I was like, and I remember feeling there was
• 3:43
  Speaker 5: like a sense of safety and like kinship in family
• 3:47
  Speaker 5: to be like, oh, wow, like you care, and you
• 3:52
  Speaker 5: care because you want you know that this crazy industry
• 3:55
  Speaker 5: can throw you any which way. And you wanted me
• 3:58
  Speaker 5: to feel like I had like an anchor when I
• 4:00
  Speaker 5: was out or if I didn't that I could call you,
• 4:02
  Speaker 5: which that was really like humbling and uplifting all at
• 4:06
  Speaker 5: the same time.
• 4:07
  Speaker 4: And then when I got to meet you, I was like,
• 4:08
  Speaker 4: oh my.
• 4:09
  Speaker 1: God, a big fan. I love you.
• 4:10
  Speaker 5: So it's just just I'm really and I've been seeing
• 4:13
  Speaker 5: everybody else on the podcast and I was like, those
• 4:14
  Speaker 5: are my friends.
• 4:15
  Speaker 2: I wonder if delivery, But no, where are you from?
• 4:20
  Speaker 2: Where were you born?
• 4:21
  Speaker 4: Born and raised in East Lee, East LA.
• 4:24
  Speaker 1: In East l A.
• 4:25
  Speaker 5: I grew up off of like Whittier and Atlantic, so
• 4:28
  Speaker 5: like so like you have East Los Angeles, like Greater
• 4:31
  Speaker 5: East Los Angeles and you have the actual city East
• 4:33
  Speaker 5: Los Angeles, and that's where I grew up because people
• 4:35
  Speaker 5: will be like, oh you mean Boyle Heights.
• 4:36
  Speaker 4: Oh you mean city terraces. I'm like, no, I mean
• 4:38
  Speaker 4: straight up East La.
• 4:39
  Speaker 1: Right, that's right.
• 4:40
  Speaker 2: And are your folks and your grand your grandparents are
• 4:43
  Speaker 2: they also La? Yeah? So where do you ethnically? Where
• 4:47
  Speaker 2: are they from?
• 4:48
  Speaker 5: So I'm Mexican? Well, okay, so I'm Mexican. People always
• 4:53
  Speaker 5: like save something for everyone else, but I really am
• 4:54
  Speaker 5: all this stuff.
• 4:55
  Speaker 4: Okay.
• 4:55
  Speaker 5: I'm Mexican, Guatemalan, French, Italian and German. And let me
• 5:00
  Speaker 5: tell you what it is.
• 5:01
  Speaker 1: Wow.
• 5:02
  Speaker 5: So my mom, her dad is from what Mala and
• 5:06
  Speaker 5: he's half Guatemala and half German. The more missionaries were
• 5:09
  Speaker 5: out there and you know, they impregnated my they did,
• 5:15
  Speaker 5: and then they had him and half German, half bottom
• 5:17
  Speaker 5: all the baby.
• 5:19
  Speaker 4: And then he met.
• 5:20
  Speaker 1: What do you mean by impregnant?
• 5:23
  Speaker 4: So let me explain it.
• 5:25
  Speaker 1: Let me.
• 5:27
  Speaker 5: So then he met my grandma, my grandma Francis, who
• 5:30
  Speaker 5: is my obviously my mom's mom, and they had they
• 5:33
  Speaker 5: have my mommy and so she's my grandma's Mexican and Basque.
• 5:38
  Speaker 1: Oh wow.
• 5:39
  Speaker 5: And then on my dad's side, both of his parents
• 5:41
  Speaker 5: are from Mexico and my grandpa's from Halischool and then
• 5:47
  Speaker 5: my grandma is from Tijuana.
• 5:50
  Speaker 1: Wow. Yeah, that's amazing. Yeah, that's so crazy.
• 5:55
  Speaker 3: I thought you were for a second you would be
• 5:56
  Speaker 3: like did my twenty three and me and I find out.
• 6:02
  Speaker 4: I also did that.
• 6:04
  Speaker 2: We were having an interesting conversation earlier, and you were saying,
• 6:06
  Speaker 2: I've been doing this since I was a kid, since
• 6:08
  Speaker 2: i was like nine years old, right, like, like, how
• 6:10
  Speaker 2: does someone from East La? Right, and this is and
• 6:14
  Speaker 2: this is coming from somebody who grew up in the
• 6:16
  Speaker 2: inner city of Chicago, right where we're opportunities for people
• 6:20
  Speaker 2: who grow up like us, they're not vast, right, how
• 6:24
  Speaker 2: does an opportunity come up for someone like you who
• 6:27
  Speaker 2: La East La at nine years old?
• 6:31
  Speaker 1: For that matter?
• 6:32
  Speaker 5: Yeah, I came out of the I'm very fortunate to
• 6:36
  Speaker 5: say that I came out of the womb knowing that
• 6:38
  Speaker 5: this is all I've ever wanted to do. My dad
• 6:42
  Speaker 5: was an actor, started acting at like five, singing and
• 6:45
  Speaker 5: acting at five. Wow.
• 6:47
  Speaker 3: An incredible musician by the way, Oh really, And they
• 6:50
  Speaker 3: sing together and they played together.
• 6:52
  Speaker 1: Which is like, wow, you know, really beautiful in La
• 6:55
  Speaker 1: in La.
• 6:56
  Speaker 2: Yeah, And what's your father's name?
• 6:57
  Speaker 5: His name is Gabriel Gonzalez band called, and it's so
• 7:02
  Speaker 5: I'm actually going to be singing with them more now.
• 7:04
  Speaker 5: It's it's been a really beautiful journey with me and him,
• 7:07
  Speaker 5: but five years old doing movies in Mexico and him.
• 7:10
  Speaker 5: My dad and my mom met at Hollywood High She
• 7:13
  Speaker 5: always wanted to be an actress and do all of this,
• 7:16
  Speaker 5: but I don't think she had she'd even say it
• 7:18
  Speaker 5: self proclaimed she didn't have the confidence to go out
• 7:20
  Speaker 5: there and do it. But you meet her and she's
• 7:21
  Speaker 5: just so cute and bubbly and adorable, and she totally
• 7:24
  Speaker 5: could have.
• 7:25
  Speaker 4: But they had me.
• 7:26
  Speaker 5: I was their little love child at twenty three, and
• 7:29
  Speaker 5: when my mom was pregnant with me, my dad was
• 7:31
  Speaker 5: doing do you guys know the movie Vida Loca? Yeah,
• 7:33
  Speaker 5: of course, So my dad is in that movie.
• 7:35
  Speaker 2: He's in that movie. Yeah, yeah, yeah, who does he
• 7:37
  Speaker 2: playing that movie?
• 7:37
  Speaker 4: He plays a little sleepy, a little sleepy sleepy and
• 7:41
  Speaker 4: dad though he's like a music the Oh my god,
• 7:46
  Speaker 4: thank he's so much.
• 7:48
  Speaker 3: I mean that was kind of the same story for
• 7:49
  Speaker 3: everybody in that movie. Though they were like real actors.
• 7:52
  Speaker 5: They were and yeah, I've been a couple, like straight up,
• 7:56
  Speaker 5: straight up yeah, straight up from But you can't.
• 7:59
  Speaker 3: Fake their eyeliner with the sauce, can't. You got to
• 8:02
  Speaker 3: get the authentic guyliners.
• 8:04
  Speaker 4: And those were the girls.
• 8:05
  Speaker 5: Those girls were my favorite in the film because I'm like, yo,
• 8:08
  Speaker 5: they ain't acting.
• 8:10
  Speaker 2: You can feel that.
• 8:11
  Speaker 1: You can feel that.
• 8:13
  Speaker 2: So your papa was an actor.
• 8:15
  Speaker 5: Papa was an actor, and I think it was just
• 8:19
  Speaker 5: in my bones and my blood.
• 8:21
  Speaker 4: My mom and my dad.
• 8:23
  Speaker 5: Split up shortly after they had me. And so this
• 8:27
  Speaker 5: is the poetic justice that I'm about to speak about.
• 8:29
  Speaker 5: How he's saying me and my dad are really close.
• 8:30
  Speaker 5: Now we didn't, We weren't really in each other's lives
• 8:33
  Speaker 5: for the better part of like twenty seven issuares Wow.
• 8:39
  Speaker 5: But we both have done our work on ourselves, and
• 8:42
  Speaker 5: now it's an interesting thing that music is bringing us
• 8:45
  Speaker 5: back together.
• 8:46
  Speaker 3: Picking up where you kind of left off, but then
• 8:48
  Speaker 3: also like building a new report.
• 8:50
  Speaker 5: And create really understanding that like all the things that
• 8:54
  Speaker 5: didn't make sense with my mom. Even my siblings tell me,
• 8:58
  Speaker 5: they're like, you are so much like dad, and it's
• 9:01
  Speaker 5: crazy nature versus nurture.
• 9:02
  Speaker 4: And that's one of my best friends. Like, I love that, man.
• 9:05
  Speaker 3: I got a chance to see you guys perform together,
• 9:07
  Speaker 3: and it's just like I want that with my daughter.
• 9:10
  Speaker 1: I want to be able to do that my daughter.
• 9:12
  Speaker 3: But you know, I don't know how long she's going
• 9:15
  Speaker 3: to be singing in Kanto songs, so I can really
• 9:19
  Speaker 3: be doing that.
• 9:20
  Speaker 2: It's in her future, man, I see it.
• 9:21
  Speaker 3: But how how so how how did you turn your
• 9:26
  Speaker 3: Easter a story into into one of contributor in Hollywood?
• 9:31
  Speaker 1: How does that? How does that work?
• 9:32
  Speaker 3: Because you think about all of our perspective journeys, we
• 9:35
  Speaker 3: had very unlikely situations that could actually lead to what
• 9:39
  Speaker 3: it is, you know, and some of us decided we're
• 9:42
  Speaker 3: gonna get trained and we're gonna get the tools, you know,
• 9:44
  Speaker 3: and then we're gonna go get noticed. But how did
• 9:47
  Speaker 3: you how did you aim to get noticed?
• 9:50
  Speaker 4: It's so weird.
• 9:52
  Speaker 5: I so as a little kid, you know, you go,
• 9:55
  Speaker 5: they have like these mole searches and stuff, and everybody
• 9:57
  Speaker 5: always tell my mom like showcases. Yeah, the show right,
• 10:01
  Speaker 5: it's all a scam, y'all. Don't fall for it, Okay.
• 10:05
  Speaker 1: For commercials, say yeah, the first thing.
• 10:07
  Speaker 4: To pay five thousand dollars.
• 10:08
  Speaker 2: I know that story.
• 10:09
  Speaker 1: By the way, I did it at an lax Skilton
• 10:12
  Speaker 1: oh yeah.
• 10:12
  Speaker 3: I did one of those showcases when I was seventeen, sixteen, seventeen, Yeah.
• 10:16
  Speaker 5: Yeah, so good anyway, Hey, but listen, there's a lesson
• 10:19
  Speaker 5: and you learn and then you're like, Okay, at least
• 10:20
  Speaker 5: I know I can do this, right. So they would
• 10:23
  Speaker 5: come up to my mom all the time, but my
• 10:24
  Speaker 5: mom already knew agent, my dad's agent. So we went
• 10:29
  Speaker 5: to them, I think when I was like seven or eight,
• 10:32
  Speaker 5: and at the time they were like, she has a
• 10:34
  Speaker 5: weak eye, she's a little chunky, she doesn't sing loud enough,
• 10:37
  Speaker 5: like I don't know. My mom was like, look that, like,
• 10:39
  Speaker 5: we're not bringing her here. So a couple of years
• 10:42
  Speaker 5: went by and then we went back and I had
• 10:45
  Speaker 5: all the confidence and spunk and so they signed me
• 10:48
  Speaker 5: and I had my.
• 10:50
  Speaker 4: First audition ever for Without a Trace. I booked it.
• 10:54
  Speaker 1: How are you nine?
• 10:55
  Speaker 2: You were nine?
• 10:57
  Speaker 4: Without Without a Trace?
• 10:59
  Speaker 1: Wow.
• 11:00
  Speaker 5: So the way that I was raised, I was raised
• 11:02
  Speaker 5: mostly with my mom's side of the family, and they're
• 11:04
  Speaker 5: all six generation, right, Mexican American Chicanas and because we
• 11:10
  Speaker 5: were so and I think a part of it it's like,
• 11:13
  Speaker 5: you know, my grandma used to get her butt kicked
• 11:15
  Speaker 5: in high school for speaking Spanish, so we never learned
• 11:17
  Speaker 5: how to speak Spanish.
• 11:18
  Speaker 4: We also, you know, in order to assimilate.
• 11:20
  Speaker 5: It's like, you don't really feed these ideas that you
• 11:22
  Speaker 5: can't because you're a woman, you can't because you're brown.
• 11:25
  Speaker 5: I never heard that growing up, and so I think
• 11:28
  Speaker 5: I always walked in with that sort of confidence, like
• 11:31
  Speaker 5: I'm just talented, like I grew up watching Bett Midler
• 11:33
  Speaker 5: and Barbara Streissan.
• 11:34
  Speaker 4: I'm like, I'm a Jewish woman on the inside. What
• 11:35
  Speaker 4: are you talking about? Ideas?
• 11:37
  Speaker 5: Like so, and then you know, you book your first audition, like,
• 11:42
  Speaker 5: who's gonna tell you shit?
• 11:43
  Speaker 1: Right?
• 11:43
  Speaker 4: At that point? Can I curse? I'm cursing?
• 11:45
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yes you do? Yeah here, Oh you.
• 11:49
  Speaker 4: Said it too, yeah.
• 11:52
  Speaker 2: Damn.
• 11:53
  Speaker 4: So I think it kind of just was the ripple
• 11:55
  Speaker 4: effect from the cauld You just say damn as your
• 11:58
  Speaker 4: bad word.
• 11:58
  Speaker 1: What the heck?
• 12:01
  Speaker 4: I'm flabbergast.
• 12:02
  Speaker 1: Oh hell oh god, I expected that from Danny's year.
• 12:08
  Speaker 3: Uh yeah, story for you.
• 12:16
  Speaker 1: I was thinking about another fake.
• 12:20
  Speaker 2: This is just a woman in our perpetual state of
• 12:22
  Speaker 2: high school.
• 12:23
  Speaker 1: Yes, yes, we just don't let go. You should.
• 12:26
  Speaker 4: That's why you guys look so young.
• 12:27
  Speaker 1: What was that experience like night.
• 12:37
  Speaker 2: Who was on Without a Trace?
• 12:40
  Speaker 1: What's her name?
• 12:41
  Speaker 2: Ye, it's your network.
• 12:45
  Speaker 4: You should go please never before my time?
• 12:49
  Speaker 1: My first time was four Stars. Do you remember who
• 12:51
  Speaker 1: was in four Stars? No?
• 12:53
  Speaker 4: Poppy Montgomery?
• 12:54
  Speaker 1: Okay, was in there when you did it?
• 12:59
  Speaker 2: Right? I did not.
• 13:00
  Speaker 4: I wasn't on it with I was.
• 13:05
  Speaker 1: All right, Eric, Oh my god, I remember that one.
• 13:13
  Speaker 1: I remember. Yeah. My first thing for TV was four Stars. No, No, no, No,
• 13:22
  Speaker 1: four corners?
• 13:23
  Speaker 2: Four corners?
• 13:25
  Speaker 4: Was it a show?
• 13:25
  Speaker 1: It was a drama.
• 13:26
  Speaker 3: It did really well on CBS, and I played an
• 13:29
  Speaker 3: autistic boy that died drowned.
• 13:32
  Speaker 1: That's a different episode after.
• 13:34
  Speaker 2: Without a Trace? Did were your agents?
• 13:37
  Speaker 4: Like?
• 13:37
  Speaker 2: Oh, well, hold on a second, Like she booked her
• 13:39
  Speaker 2: first audition, like she's you know, we can send her
• 13:43
  Speaker 2: out there and found the pavement and she's going to
• 13:45
  Speaker 2: start booking for us.
• 13:46
  Speaker 1: And wait, did you have an agent? I did? Yeah?
• 13:48
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I was with this uh boutique agency called Stage
• 13:51
  Speaker 4: nine at the time and it still around. I don't
• 13:54
  Speaker 4: think so.
• 13:55
  Speaker 5: I know both of them still, Carol and Fay. They
• 13:59
  Speaker 5: were my girl girls, like musical theater heads. They were
• 14:02
  Speaker 5: think of like have you seen We've all seen friends
• 14:05
  Speaker 5: Joey Tribanni's agent.
• 14:07
  Speaker 4: Talking like this, always smoking in the house. This is
• 14:09
  Speaker 4: who they want. Honey, you're a little fat right now,
• 14:12
  Speaker 4: but that's okay. That could work for you in your advantage.
• 14:14
  Speaker 4: Like this is how they would talk to me at
• 14:15
  Speaker 4: like nine.
• 14:15
  Speaker 5: Ten, and I'd be like, Okay, thank god, I'm developing
• 14:20
  Speaker 5: as a young woman.
• 14:20
  Speaker 1: I'm not.
• 14:22
  Speaker 4: It's okay. But they did and I also too.
• 14:25
  Speaker 5: I mean, the same confidence that I had as a
• 14:27
  Speaker 5: kid I have now, Like you know I was, I
• 14:30
  Speaker 5: was walking in like I could do it, I could
• 14:32
  Speaker 5: do everything, and like I still do that, I feel like,
• 14:35
  Speaker 5: so I think that's what they saw more than anything,
• 14:37
  Speaker 5: Like the tenacity I had, and like the fearlessness, like
• 14:41
  Speaker 5: I've always been a type of person that's like I
• 14:43
  Speaker 5: might fail, but I'm a fucking figure it out. So
• 14:47
  Speaker 5: after we did that, I was on this kid's special
• 14:50
  Speaker 5: called jam x Kids and we had a special on
• 14:53
  Speaker 5: wb Rihanna opened up for us Natasha Bedingfield. It was
• 14:58
  Speaker 5: basically like Think of Kids Incorporated meets the Mickey Mouse Club,
• 15:06
  Speaker 5: and we were trying to get young kids off the
• 15:08
  Speaker 5: couch dancing and like moving their body, and so we
• 15:12
  Speaker 5: had Alison Stoner, we had who's still a very good
• 15:15
  Speaker 5: friend of mine.
• 15:16
  Speaker 4: I'm still friends with everyone.
• 15:17
  Speaker 5: We had like a bunch of different young kids from
• 15:20
  Speaker 5: all type of ethnic backgrounds, and I was They auditioned
• 15:24
  Speaker 5: at least five hundred kids. I was probably the least
• 15:27
  Speaker 5: qualified of anyone, because like I had never taken an
• 15:29
  Speaker 5: acting class, I had never taken a dance class, I
• 15:31
  Speaker 5: had never really taken a singing class. And I booked
• 15:34
  Speaker 5: it off of sheer confidence alone and struggled throughout the
• 15:38
  Speaker 5: whole fucking like rehearsal process. And we would do live shows,
• 15:42
  Speaker 5: and I was the chunkiest one out of the group.
• 15:44
  Speaker 5: Like I remember certain moms at schools coming out to
• 15:47
  Speaker 5: be like, how does it feel to be the fat
• 15:48
  Speaker 5: one in the crew?
• 15:49
  Speaker 1: Is this crazy?
• 15:50
  Speaker 4: At twelve years old?
• 16:00
  Speaker 3: It feels like, especially at the beginning of all of
• 16:03
  Speaker 3: our careers, we've all had certain specific adversities that other
• 16:07
  Speaker 3: people have put on us, even though we've never seen
• 16:11
  Speaker 3: ourselves in the way that somehow they've described it I.
• 16:14
  Speaker 1: Allowed to be. How do you overcome that?
• 16:20
  Speaker 3: How do you say your opinion is not my opinion
• 16:24
  Speaker 3: of myself right? How do you lean into the strength
• 16:29
  Speaker 3: on what you're here to do over the people perception
• 16:33
  Speaker 3: of the box that put you in.
• 16:34
  Speaker 1: Right, And I to explain a little further.
• 16:39
  Speaker 3: You know, when I first started myself, obviously I had
• 16:41
  Speaker 3: an accent, right, They're like, well you got an accent.
• 16:44
  Speaker 1: No one on TV has accents.
• 16:45
  Speaker 3: You're never gonna work right, and like, oh man, okay,
• 16:49
  Speaker 3: And like I was never according to them, like I
• 16:51
  Speaker 3: was not ugly enough and not cute enough. It was
• 16:54
  Speaker 3: like this weird thing when I was a teenager that's
• 16:56
  Speaker 3: like not old enough and not young enough either. You know,
• 16:59
  Speaker 3: it's like there was always something that was put on
• 17:03
  Speaker 3: you by others that you didn't see about yourself. Because
• 17:08
  Speaker 3: it takes a level of confidence to break through whatever
• 17:13
  Speaker 3: walls and lego houses the build in front of you
• 17:16
  Speaker 3: to actually get to where you're sitting right now. So
• 17:19
  Speaker 3: how do you how do you feel that you because
• 17:21
  Speaker 3: I'm hearing it in your stories and it continues to
• 17:24
  Speaker 3: come up, and it's it's so sobering to know that
• 17:27
  Speaker 3: for a young woman, that's got to be incredibly difficult
• 17:32
  Speaker 3: to navigate and to break as like not just the stigma,
• 17:36
  Speaker 3: but like identity, like that's not what I am.
• 17:39
  Speaker 1: Right at that age too, Right, Like twelve, you said.
• 17:42
  Speaker 5: Dude, Yeah, when you're like developing as a person, like
• 17:45
  Speaker 5: your like frontal lobe is not even like your neuro
• 17:49
  Speaker 5: responders are barely figuring out, like.
• 17:50
  Speaker 1: You might not even have seen it. And the until
• 17:52
  Speaker 1: they kept you know.
• 17:54
  Speaker 5: It was it was I want to say, a combination
• 17:57
  Speaker 5: of a bunch of different things. Like So my mom
• 17:59
  Speaker 5: was a young mom, but I know for a fact
• 18:03
  Speaker 5: she was always after some form of consciousness and guidance
• 18:09
  Speaker 5: her mom. And the reason I go back to this
• 18:11
  Speaker 5: because I really think that our industry, yes, it's talent,
• 18:15
  Speaker 5: but how many talented people do you know, just don't
• 18:17
  Speaker 5: continue because their nervous system doesn't allow them to. Like
• 18:21
  Speaker 5: I know plenty of people who are way more gifted
• 18:24
  Speaker 5: than I am, but will never do what I'm doing
• 18:26
  Speaker 5: because they cannot get over the idea of being perceived.
• 18:32
  Speaker 5: So my mom, at a young age, she introduced me
• 18:35
  Speaker 5: to you guys know the Secret. Yeah, so, okay, the
• 18:39
  Speaker 5: book and they they have a movie about it if
• 18:41
  Speaker 5: you want. The movie is so cheesy, but it's so good,
• 18:43
  Speaker 5: especially if it's like, let me explain this to an
• 18:45
  Speaker 5: eight year old. So my mom made me watch it
• 18:46
  Speaker 5: at eight years old, and I myself, I think, was
• 18:52
  Speaker 5: always looking to like finding a parent because my mom
• 18:56
  Speaker 5: had me so young. I was here, there, and everywhere.
• 18:58
  Speaker 5: I was like talk about being raised by a villa.
• 19:00
  Speaker 5: I was raised by a village, which I think is
• 19:02
  Speaker 5: a really powerful thing because I got to have so
• 19:05
  Speaker 5: many different perspectives than just one head of household perspective.
• 19:10
  Speaker 5: I feel like this is going to be a long
• 19:11
  Speaker 5: winded answer to get.
• 19:13
  Speaker 1: Hey, welcome to a podcast.
• 19:16
  Speaker 5: Like even myself, I was raised Mormon with my mom
• 19:20
  Speaker 5: till I was about aid. Yeah, Mexican Mormons. What's up,
• 19:24
  Speaker 5: Jack Mormon? Now drinking coffee? That's all right, Yeah, that's yeah.
• 19:29
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 19:29
  Speaker 5: I was raised Mormon, and then we left the Mormon Church,
• 19:32
  Speaker 5: and then I myself was still looking for some sort
• 19:35
  Speaker 5: of guidance and parental figures. And so then I myself
• 19:38
  Speaker 5: converted to Catholicism, did all my sacraments, the whole rigamarole.
• 19:42
  Speaker 4: So I think the long and.
• 19:45
  Speaker 5: Short of it was introduced to the secret got me
• 19:49
  Speaker 5: thinking about how does my brain work and what is
• 19:51
  Speaker 5: the reality that I'm creating. And one of the things
• 19:54
  Speaker 5: that stuck out to me even as a kid was
• 19:56
  Speaker 5: if you want something from someone stop pointing out the
• 20:00
  Speaker 5: that they're not doing, and start highlighting the thing that
• 20:02
  Speaker 5: they are doing right so they can do more of
• 20:04
  Speaker 5: that correct. Very simple, but I really took that to heart,
• 20:08
  Speaker 5: and as a young kid, my mom also instilled in me.
• 20:12
  Speaker 5: I didn't know the difference yet, but as a kid
• 20:14
  Speaker 5: when I would get you know, I was bullied a
• 20:16
  Speaker 5: lot in school. I had to wear eyepatch in second grade.
• 20:18
  Speaker 5: Like it just was an experience. So like struggle has
• 20:21
  Speaker 5: been a part of it for the from the beginning
• 20:23
  Speaker 5: for me, you know, not having my dad around. I
• 20:25
  Speaker 5: remember I'd go to friends houses and their dad would
• 20:27
  Speaker 5: be there and I'd be like, wait.
• 20:29
  Speaker 4: Your dad lives here. That's so weird.
• 20:30
  Speaker 5: Like there was just certain things that might that it
• 20:33
  Speaker 5: was just my norm and my baseline. So to me,
• 20:36
  Speaker 5: I'm like, it's not hard if that's my baseline. But
• 20:39
  Speaker 5: if I look at it like it's hard, then it's
• 20:41
  Speaker 5: gonna be hard. But if I look at it like
• 20:43
  Speaker 5: it's a part of the dance, then I just wear
• 20:45
  Speaker 5: that shit and I learn how to flow smoothly while
• 20:48
  Speaker 5: carrying tons of bricks so that when it finally comes off,
• 20:50
  Speaker 5: I'm ready to run the races.
• 20:52
  Speaker 4: So I think be given that sort.
• 20:55
  Speaker 5: Of ideas as as a foundation as a kid. I've
• 21:00
  Speaker 5: taken that with me into adulthood that even when it
• 21:04
  Speaker 5: feels like the world doesn't want me, I remember I
• 21:07
  Speaker 5: am the world and I tell the world.
• 21:10
  Speaker 4: What it wants.
• 21:11
  Speaker 5: So this idea right like fighting through these things. One
• 21:14
  Speaker 5: of my first managers at so I took a break
• 21:18
  Speaker 5: from acting from sixteen to about twenty three. There was
• 21:20
  Speaker 5: a lot of family things going on, and when I
• 21:23
  Speaker 5: decided to get back in again, it was the same thing.
• 21:25
  Speaker 5: Started booking like this. But before that I was with
• 21:27
  Speaker 5: this manager and she was like saying, like, you you're
• 21:31
  Speaker 5: not thin enough to play the leading female Anginu, You're
• 21:35
  Speaker 5: not fat enough to play the best friend, You're not
• 21:37
  Speaker 5: this enough. And I write all these things and instead
• 21:40
  Speaker 5: of looking at this like this is a bad thing.
• 21:43
  Speaker 4: My whole life, people had talked about my weight. I
• 21:45
  Speaker 4: was always a chunky kid.
• 21:46
  Speaker 5: There was a lot of things that happened to me
• 21:47
  Speaker 5: as a kid that made me want to gain weight
• 21:50
  Speaker 5: to hide.
• 21:52
  Speaker 1: That.
• 21:53
  Speaker 4: When she was telling me this, I was finally in.
• 21:55
  Speaker 5: This space of you know when you go to that
• 21:57
  Speaker 5: height of consciousness and you're like, none of this is
• 22:01
  Speaker 5: like I can shape shift right, Like I am not
• 22:04
  Speaker 5: these things.
• 22:05
  Speaker 3: I'm going to walk if I stand still.
• 22:10
  Speaker 5: And I used to do shit like every today, everyone
• 22:13
  Speaker 5: is going to give me something free. I'm going to
• 22:15
  Speaker 5: get something free wherever I go and it would happen.
• 22:17
  Speaker 5: And so you get little things like that, and it's
• 22:19
  Speaker 5: like what you believe is true. I'm like, I'm going
• 22:22
  Speaker 5: to be a movie star. My first audition I booked,
• 22:23
  Speaker 5: So I'm like, oh shit, I create this ship. I
• 22:26
  Speaker 5: create this shit. So when a homegirl tells me you
• 22:28
  Speaker 5: need to lose weight, you need to do all these things.
• 22:29
  Speaker 5: I did it because I started to look at all
• 22:32
  Speaker 5: of this as just a meat suit, like I am
• 22:36
  Speaker 5: influenced by my culture and I am I'm not negated,
• 22:39
  Speaker 5: like I'm Latina, I'm proud, I'm all these things. But
• 22:41
  Speaker 5: I'm also an artist and a dreamer and a healer.
• 22:45
  Speaker 5: And so I started to look at it like, how
• 22:48
  Speaker 5: how do I get out of the confines of this
• 22:51
  Speaker 5: bullshit structure that does not.
• 22:54
  Speaker 4: Work for anyone like us?
• 22:55
  Speaker 5: If we believe and we're living in the structure, how
• 22:57
  Speaker 5: do I get out of the matrix. I'm not gonna
• 23:00
  Speaker 5: fight the industry by saying industry, you suck, you don't
• 23:03
  Speaker 5: want me, Like, then they're just gonna be like, yeah,
• 23:05
  Speaker 5: I don't like it earned my mind, right, I'm going
• 23:08
  Speaker 5: to go into these spaces thinking that I need to
• 23:10
  Speaker 5: prove something versus going in there and being like I'm
• 23:13
  Speaker 5: the proof, right, And I think it's just been a
• 23:16
  Speaker 5: it's been a daily practice, hourly, minute by minute practice
• 23:21
  Speaker 5: of that, like I don't think I'm ever gonna arrive,
• 23:25
  Speaker 5: but I've also learned that that's a part of what
• 23:27
  Speaker 5: does that mean?
• 23:28
  Speaker 1: I don't think I'm ever gonna go into arrive.
• 23:30
  Speaker 5: Meaning like you know how you're like how how did
• 23:34
  Speaker 5: you come to this realization of like this confidence while
• 23:38
  Speaker 5: everybody's telling me this, that and the other that it's
• 23:41
  Speaker 5: not going to work or you should change this, Like
• 23:43
  Speaker 5: we all get these these narratives that are and I
• 23:46
  Speaker 5: think for me, meaning I'm never gonna arrive fully is
• 23:51
  Speaker 5: is I don't know if I'll ever realize that I
• 23:54
  Speaker 5: then did it, that I did it, But I think
• 23:56
  Speaker 5: that that's the most fun part about it.
• 24:00
  Speaker 3: But it's also ambition, right, It's also like, you know,
• 24:02
  Speaker 3: the the artist that's always in a search of something higher,
• 24:06
  Speaker 3: you know, just as like you climb a mountain, you realize,
• 24:09
  Speaker 3: oh wait a minute, there's an actually taller one, you know,
• 24:13
  Speaker 3: And so it's it's a really interesting thing to think about.
• 24:16
  Speaker 3: I mean, we all have that gene otherwise we will
• 24:19
  Speaker 3: stop fighting in this industry for a long time, right like,
• 24:21
  Speaker 3: and and it's a very important thing. It's important listen.
• 24:25
  Speaker 3: You know, there's always gonna be something, you know, worth climbing.
• 24:28
  Speaker 5: That's why when you know, we were in your office
• 24:30
  Speaker 5: the other day and I'm looking at this, I'm like,
• 24:33
  Speaker 5: and I was telling I was telling you earlier. I'm like,
• 24:35
  Speaker 5: I've only dreamt this far, Like I've just wanted to
• 24:38
  Speaker 5: do movies and be able to live by myself in
• 24:42
  Speaker 5: a little two bedroom home that looks over you know,
• 24:44
  Speaker 5: the city.
• 24:45
  Speaker 4: And now I'm there and I'm.
• 24:46
  Speaker 5: Like, ah shit, there's more like what And then I
• 24:50
  Speaker 5: come here and I'm like, do you remember?
• 24:53
  Speaker 4: I Like we were going through like your drawer of
• 24:55
  Speaker 4: all this cool things.
• 24:56
  Speaker 5: I'm like, the first thing I asked him was how
• 24:58
  Speaker 5: do you prepare your nervous system for this? And you
• 25:02
  Speaker 5: were like I didn't. I just kept going. And so
• 25:05
  Speaker 5: that was a new gift for me of like, oh, yeah,
• 25:09
  Speaker 5: like you can't. Maybe like you can try, Like I
• 25:12
  Speaker 5: can think I can have all the answers and read
• 25:14
  Speaker 5: all the books and do all the spiritual shit. But
• 25:17
  Speaker 5: I gotta do it, yeah, Like I gotta stop freaking
• 25:20
  Speaker 5: talking about it and just do it.
• 25:31
  Speaker 3: One of the things that kind of comes back to
• 25:33
  Speaker 3: me in those moments is is everyone there's a philosophy
• 25:40
  Speaker 3: that says, hey, pause, look around, take it de breath, right.
• 25:46
  Speaker 1: Take inventory. I don't have that gene. I don't.
• 25:52
  Speaker 3: I don't see what you see around me because my
• 25:57
  Speaker 3: eyes are like five. Is that we produce that you're
• 26:02
  Speaker 3: started in, right, Like my head is already there. And
• 26:05
  Speaker 3: what's interesting is that longer you do this, the more
• 26:08
  Speaker 3: you realize.
• 26:10
  Speaker 1: That you're creative hunger.
• 26:13
  Speaker 3: And that could be the same for business, for education,
• 26:16
  Speaker 3: for entrepreneurship, for just you know, emotional achievement. The more
• 26:25
  Speaker 3: that you stop, you almost stop your practice.
• 26:29
  Speaker 5: Right wait, Like the more that like you stop in
• 26:32
  Speaker 5: the introm to like take stock fully and I think.
• 26:35
  Speaker 1: It's important to take a deep breath.
• 26:37
  Speaker 3: But you know, as artists, we are continuing to mold
• 26:42
  Speaker 3: and if if you stop for a second, you might
• 26:45
  Speaker 3: forget what shape was next, right.
• 26:49
  Speaker 4: So like, slow down, don't stop.
• 26:51
  Speaker 3: You can slow down to appreciate, give yourself grace and
• 26:53
  Speaker 3: enjoy it.
• 26:55
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 26:56
  Speaker 3: But if you woke up this morning, you're already winning,
• 26:58
  Speaker 3: which means how much more winning you.
• 27:00
  Speaker 1: Gotta do today, you know?
• 27:02
  Speaker 3: Right, So like if you've still got hours in the day,
• 27:04
  Speaker 3: how much more winning you want to do?
• 27:05
  Speaker 2: Right?
• 27:05
  Speaker 3: It's has been the philosophy for our show here for
• 27:08
  Speaker 3: you know, when we always talked about that. But to
• 27:10
  Speaker 3: your point, like, you know, if a shark stops swimming,
• 27:14
  Speaker 3: it dies, right, So I think the biggest and most
• 27:17
  Speaker 3: important factor of that, you know, that primal instinct is
• 27:23
  Speaker 3: that if you're a hunter for creativity, you gotta keep hunting.
• 27:28
  Speaker 3: You know, you gotta keep get them up in the morning.
• 27:31
  Speaker 3: You got to keep you know, loading up your bag.
• 27:32
  Speaker 3: You got to keep you know, lining up your ammunition.
• 27:35
  Speaker 3: You gotta go out there and look for you know,
• 27:37
  Speaker 3: look what you're going to bring home at the.
• 27:38
  Speaker 1: End of the day.
• 27:39
  Speaker 3: Right, And that's the moment of pride. That's when you
• 27:42
  Speaker 3: can stop, take a deep breath and enjoy it, and
• 27:44
  Speaker 3: then you get up in the morning you keep molding again.
• 27:46
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 27:48
  Speaker 3: But I think that you're what you're what you're describing
• 27:50
  Speaker 3: is is such something I think all of us can take,
• 27:53
  Speaker 3: you know, past for a second and take in the
• 27:55
  Speaker 3: fact that, like, you know, sometimes we don't give ourselves
• 27:58
  Speaker 3: grace that we're doing what we said we're going to
• 28:00
  Speaker 3: be doing, you know, but it is part of the
• 28:05
  Speaker 3: entrepreneurial heart that says, like there's always something bigger out there, Right, Freddie,
• 28:11
  Speaker 3: how do you how do you take pass? I like,
• 28:14
  Speaker 3: how do you because you've always your right, your.
• 28:17
  Speaker 1: Direct you you you do it all?
• 28:19
  Speaker 3: Like how how does how does that journey been like
• 28:21
  Speaker 3: for you?
• 28:23
  Speaker 2: You know, it's it's very similar to like what you're
• 28:25
  Speaker 2: you were just talking. That's why I'm really absorbing everything
• 28:27
  Speaker 2: and even like you talk about your nervous system and
• 28:30
  Speaker 2: just like a lot of like what you're saying, you know,
• 28:33
  Speaker 2: especially where And this is why I even asked you
• 28:35
  Speaker 2: this initially, Right, I don't know if it had something
• 28:38
  Speaker 2: to do with like our environment and how we grew
• 28:40
  Speaker 2: up and like if that informed are sort of this
• 28:43
  Speaker 2: this like unstoppable belief in ourselves, right because we because
• 28:48
  Speaker 2: we came from the backgrounds that we came from. But
• 28:52
  Speaker 2: I'm but but but I always looked at it the
• 28:54
  Speaker 2: same way. In my early journey, I was it was
• 28:56
  Speaker 2: very similar to yours, you know. It was it was
• 28:58
  Speaker 2: very much like, this is what I'm going to do,
• 29:00
  Speaker 2: and that's it. And every fiber of my being is
• 29:03
  Speaker 2: saying that this is what I'm gonna do, right, And
• 29:06
  Speaker 2: so every movement, every thought, every step I took it
• 29:11
  Speaker 2: was it was with the belief that this is what
• 29:13
  Speaker 2: I was going to do, and and it manifested itself.
• 29:16
  Speaker 2: But you you talked a lot about this is the
• 29:18
  Speaker 2: second time I heard you bring up You're talking about
• 29:21
  Speaker 2: nervous system, Like why do you keep bringing that up?
• 29:24
  Speaker 2: Like what is it about the nervous system in particular?
• 29:26
  Speaker 2: And I'm very curious because that's something that I've really
• 29:28
  Speaker 2: been concentrating on in the last five years. I never
• 29:31
  Speaker 2: even knew anything really that that the nervous system even
• 29:35
  Speaker 2: existed in that capacity or or I've been doing a
• 29:38
  Speaker 2: real deep dive, like like why is it that you
• 29:41
  Speaker 2: keep talking about it and bringing it up.
• 29:43
  Speaker 5: I grew up in a very volatile household. My mom
• 29:48
  Speaker 5: grew up in a very volatile household. Like it's it's
• 29:51
  Speaker 5: you know, epigenetics is a real thing, right, So like
• 29:55
  Speaker 5: you can have something that your ancestors went through that
• 29:57
  Speaker 5: you don't even know why you're afraid of this thing,
• 29:59
  Speaker 5: but you a and you've never experienced it, but you
• 30:01
  Speaker 5: come across it and you freeze. So for me, the
• 30:05
  Speaker 5: way my nervous system was set up, I you know
• 30:08
  Speaker 5: how they have like fight flight, freeze or fawn response.
• 30:12
  Speaker 5: I'm a freezer and I'm a fauner. Now I would
• 30:16
  Speaker 5: see the way that some of the people raised me,
• 30:19
  Speaker 5: how they would raise me and tell me what was right,
• 30:22
  Speaker 5: what was wrong, what was hard, what was easy, and
• 30:25
  Speaker 5: they look so fucking unhappy that even as a little kid,
• 30:29
  Speaker 5: I'm like, that don't seem right. And I couldn't pinpoint
• 30:32
  Speaker 5: it yet until I went to therapy at like twenty
• 30:35
  Speaker 5: I think I was like twenty six. I was doing henhified.
• 30:41
  Speaker 5: I had a boyfriend, we were living together. I was
• 30:44
  Speaker 5: so depressed. My nervous system wasn't set up for safety.
• 30:50
  Speaker 5: When it felt easy, I like he would sometimes come
• 30:54
  Speaker 5: to ha hug me and I please don't, please don't
• 30:56
  Speaker 5: touch me, and I'd start shaking and I'd start crying.
• 30:58
  Speaker 5: When I'd get into conflict, I didn't I never felt
• 31:01
  Speaker 5: safe in my house.
• 31:03
  Speaker 4: I wasn't.
• 31:05
  Speaker 5: I was, and it you know, no shade on anyone.
• 31:08
  Speaker 5: It was just the life, right, It was just the experience.
• 31:10
  Speaker 5: And now we're learning a new one. But at the time,
• 31:13
  Speaker 5: my big feelings weren't welcomed, so I didn't even know
• 31:16
  Speaker 5: how to fucking have them. Like an opinion, right, like
• 31:19
  Speaker 5: a preference was like, oh, why do you like to
• 31:21
  Speaker 5: do that thing?
• 31:22
  Speaker 4: And then I'd be like, oh, yeah, that's stupid.
• 31:23
  Speaker 5: I don't want to do that because I was how
• 31:25
  Speaker 5: I grew up was because I was babysit a lot
• 31:27
  Speaker 5: by different people.
• 31:28
  Speaker 4: It was like anti behave, and so I knew.
• 31:30
  Speaker 5: I learned early on, if I can make you love
• 31:32
  Speaker 5: me and if I can be the most charming person
• 31:34
  Speaker 5: in the room, you'll take care of me, right, right.
• 31:37
  Speaker 5: And I had to get out of that because nobody
• 31:39
  Speaker 5: makes good work by being a fucking people pleaser, right.
• 31:43
  Speaker 4: So for me the.
• 31:45
  Speaker 5: Last five years now in this space, having to really
• 31:51
  Speaker 5: as we know when we're when we're doing our job,
• 31:53
  Speaker 5: we have to be fully present. I didn't know how
• 31:56
  Speaker 5: to do that. So I'm twenty six doing tenthified going
• 32:00
  Speaker 5: back home every day after shooting sobbing.
• 32:04
  Speaker 4: I'm good.
• 32:05
  Speaker 5: They're good, I'm gonna get fired. Why I didn't think
• 32:07
  Speaker 5: I was good enough because my whole life people told
• 32:10
  Speaker 5: me like it was like the running joke was Annie
• 32:13
  Speaker 5: wants to be an actress.
• 32:14
  Speaker 4: Okay, Like my cousins would.
• 32:16
  Speaker 5: Be like, you think you could do a watch, I
• 32:18
  Speaker 5: could do it, skippy peanut butter, and they would make
• 32:20
  Speaker 5: fun of me. Like my whole family. I was called
• 32:22
  Speaker 5: fatty Annie, right, like it's the thing. But when you're
• 32:25
  Speaker 5: a young girl and you and I had no siblings
• 32:29
  Speaker 5: in the household and everybody was mean to me, or
• 32:31
  Speaker 5: this was my perception at the time, it was very victimhood.
• 32:34
  Speaker 5: It's I'm, you know, fucking nine, ten, twelve, like whatever.
• 32:39
  Speaker 5: So it was very much like that space. And I
• 32:42
  Speaker 5: was depressed, having very deep suicidal thoughts doing this show
• 32:48
  Speaker 5: where everybody's like, you're killing Annie, You're finally doing it.
• 32:51
  Speaker 5: I'm telling my mom I'm stressed, and she's like stressed
• 32:54
  Speaker 5: about what because she didn't get it right?
• 32:56
  Speaker 2: And so do you think that their compliments was was
• 32:59
  Speaker 2: sort of like crashing against your nerves because your nervous
• 33:03
  Speaker 2: system was telling you something else, and so them telling
• 33:07
  Speaker 2: you you were doing great was the opposite of what
• 33:09
  Speaker 2: you were used to feeling, or like I'm trying to
• 33:12
  Speaker 2: get to the bottom of why you felt it.
• 33:15
  Speaker 4: Was like it was like when there's so many layers
• 33:21
  Speaker 4: to this.
• 33:21
  Speaker 5: But I think I so the reason why I stopped
• 33:24
  Speaker 5: acting at sixteen was my mom's oldest sister.
• 33:28
  Speaker 4: My the idity was my mom.
• 33:30
  Speaker 5: My mom was really young, so a lot of the
• 33:32
  Speaker 5: time during the week of school, I was with her
• 33:34
  Speaker 5: right and she would babysit me and blah blah blah,
• 33:38
  Speaker 5: And you know, I lived with them like probably let's say,
• 33:40
  Speaker 5: fifty percent of the time. And she passed away when
• 33:43
  Speaker 5: I was sixteen, So like the foundation of safety that
• 33:47
  Speaker 5: I knew was ripped under me, and so I never
• 33:50
  Speaker 5: after that.
• 33:51
  Speaker 4: It took me a while.
• 33:51
  Speaker 5: Now I have, I've learned how to reach out to
• 33:53
  Speaker 5: my mom and other mythas and other people in my
• 33:55
  Speaker 5: family and be like I'm taking care of But it
• 33:57
  Speaker 5: took me a long time to find my footing. And
• 34:00
  Speaker 5: I think that I didn't know where my foundation was anymore.
• 34:03
  Speaker 5: Like I was like, nobody's gonna have my back, nobody's
• 34:06
  Speaker 5: gonna take care of me, nobody's gonna this, Like nobody
• 34:08
  Speaker 5: understands me, nobody's curious to understand me. And then you
• 34:11
  Speaker 5: do this thing and you're a product, but you don't
• 34:14
  Speaker 5: know you're a product yet, And so.
• 34:15
  Speaker 2: I was.
• 34:17
  Speaker 5: Yo, okay, so hind if I just came out the
• 34:20
  Speaker 5: first season, I'm starting to get recognized.
• 34:23
  Speaker 4: I'm out in the world and I'm from the hood.
• 34:26
  Speaker 4: Like I'm like, I'm an inner.
• 34:27
  Speaker 5: City girl, right, so people be looking at me and
• 34:30
  Speaker 5: I'd be like what like and they'd be like sorry,
• 34:36
  Speaker 5: like you you're on that show, right, and I'd be like,
• 34:39
  Speaker 5: oh yeah. So then me and my best friend we
• 34:41
  Speaker 5: ended up going on a vacation and I'm like, when
• 34:43
  Speaker 5: I'm here, don't call me.
• 34:44
  Speaker 1: By my name.
• 34:45
  Speaker 4: My name is love. Like I don't know what I am,
• 34:48
  Speaker 4: Like nobody knew how I was in.
• 34:50
  Speaker 5: But I was going through this like existential, like my
• 34:53
  Speaker 5: dreams are coming true. Someone's gonna die, I'm gonna die,
• 34:56
  Speaker 5: Like it felt that heavy, and I did. I had
• 34:59
  Speaker 5: to died of myself. I had to have a freaking
• 35:02
  Speaker 5: ego death. And I feel like we're all like you.
• 35:05
  Speaker 4: You know what I mean?
• 35:06
  Speaker 5: And then and then it was like right after that,
• 35:08
  Speaker 5: then it was heentified and then there was all these
• 35:11
  Speaker 5: I mean not hentified. Then it was flaming hot, and
• 35:12
  Speaker 5: then it just felt like it was all back to
• 35:14
  Speaker 5: back and I had I hadn't.
• 35:17
  Speaker 4: I didn't know who to talk to.
• 35:18
  Speaker 3: You also wear and equipped for that type of frequency, right,
• 35:21
  Speaker 3: because you kind of work so long to get that
• 35:23
  Speaker 3: one hit and then you're like have that experience it
• 35:25
  Speaker 3: ends and then quickly right after you get to the
• 35:27
  Speaker 3: next one, and like you know, the mirage is like,
• 35:30
  Speaker 3: oh man, this is like this is like a lot
• 35:33
  Speaker 3: or it's just like, okay, the engine's going right, like
• 35:35
  Speaker 3: it's perspective.
• 35:36
  Speaker 5: You don't know where to go, And I didn't have
• 35:38
  Speaker 5: anybody around me, like even though you had reached out,
• 35:41
  Speaker 5: I didn't know what questions to ask you, Like I
• 35:44
  Speaker 5: didn't know how to approach, like, hey, can you help me,
• 35:46
  Speaker 5: I'm nervous right or I'm working with Eva. And she
• 35:49
  Speaker 5: was also also has been a great mentor woman. Oh
• 35:52
  Speaker 5: my gosh. When we did our whole press run, she
• 35:54
  Speaker 5: would sit next to me and she would just talk
• 35:56
  Speaker 5: shop with me. And I didn't like, like, you know,
• 35:58
  Speaker 5: have fun with this and learn this and make sure
• 36:00
  Speaker 5: you try this out. But I still didn't know the
• 36:02
  Speaker 5: questions to ask her because there still felt like this
• 36:05
  Speaker 5: disconnect of like she seems so happy and she has
• 36:08
  Speaker 5: it together. I don't want to bring her down with
• 36:09
  Speaker 5: my like I'm scared. I'm really depressed. I don't think
• 36:12
  Speaker 5: I can do it. I don't think I'm pretty enough.
• 36:13
  Speaker 4: I don't.
• 36:14
  Speaker 5: It was all of these things all at once. All
• 36:17
  Speaker 5: of the bad things that anybody had ever told me
• 36:19
  Speaker 5: about myself were the loudest voices.
• 36:23
  Speaker 2: And do you feel like that was coming to the
• 36:24
  Speaker 2: surface because you were becoming more famous and people were
• 36:29
  Speaker 2: your work was getting recognized.
• 36:31
  Speaker 5: Like what I was like, They're going to realize I'm
• 36:34
  Speaker 5: a fraud. Sure makes sense, right, I was like, they're
• 36:38
  Speaker 5: going to make sense.
• 36:39
  Speaker 3: I mean, we all go through that, by the way,
• 36:40
  Speaker 3: and like it's and it's like, you know, I just
• 36:44
  Speaker 3: want to first and foremost, I want to compliment the fact.
• 36:47
  Speaker 1: That, like you have come to this realizations. You know that.
• 36:52
  Speaker 3: There's certain elements that undnihilely come with the role of
• 36:58
  Speaker 3: being an artist. You know, when you're amplifying people's lives
• 37:03
  Speaker 3: and characters, you connect on such a soulful level. They
• 37:07
  Speaker 3: know you and you've never met them, right, And I
• 37:11
  Speaker 3: think you've done a beautiful job. You created such a
• 37:14
  Speaker 3: beautiful community for you, and the game is rooting for
• 37:17
  Speaker 3: you, you know. And I think the actors and you know,
• 37:20
  Speaker 3: and producers and directors are aware of the sun that
• 37:25
  Speaker 3: you are, you know. And I think you're beginning to
• 37:29
  Speaker 3: really trust in that process. You're beginning to trust that
• 37:33
  Speaker 3: the hours of self work and the hours.
• 37:37
  Speaker 1: Of reflection.
• 37:40
  Speaker 3: Plus the hours you put in on the hustle are
• 37:42
  Speaker 3: finally paying off and they're opening the portal to what's next.
• 37:46
  Speaker 3: And I think, you know, I know you're a very
• 37:52
  Speaker 3: spiritual person. I think spirituality works. But I don't want
• 37:57
  Speaker 3: to say anything for the sake of being inappropriate. But
• 38:00
  Speaker 3: there's a lot of stuff that I could say.
• 38:02
  Speaker 1: Right now Amen, Amen, Amen is very mean now, Amen, amen,
• 38:08
  Speaker 1: because you're the amen.
• 38:11
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 38:11
  Speaker 1: But I think the point.
• 38:12
  Speaker 3: I'm making is that you know, you're answering to a
• 38:15
  Speaker 3: higher energy now and you're performing at a higher you know,
• 38:19
  Speaker 3: consciousness and and and it's beautiful to see that because
• 38:23
  Speaker 3: I remember when I first met you and you you
• 38:26
  Speaker 3: had that, you had.
• 38:27
  Speaker 1: All of that.
• 38:28
  Speaker 3: You weren't green in your heart, right, you were green
• 38:33
  Speaker 3: in the environment because it was just the first time
• 38:36
  Speaker 3: you were you know, like, where is everything at but
• 38:38
  Speaker 3: your soul had been seasoned by you know, your once
• 38:42
  Speaker 3: and your needs and your inspirations. When you look at
• 38:45
  Speaker 3: what you're going to go next, what do you what
• 38:47
  Speaker 3: does that look like?
• 38:49
  Speaker 5: Oh? Wow, this is the thing I'm saying, the dream.
• 38:53
  Speaker 5: I have to dream again, to dream.
• 38:55
  Speaker 4: To die.
• 38:58
  Speaker 5: God, There's so many things that I want and that
• 39:05
  Speaker 5: I'm going to get because I mean, you guys know
• 39:08
  Speaker 5: you've been doing this forever and the way our careers
• 39:11
  Speaker 5: can span out, can we can have eighteen different lives
• 39:14
  Speaker 5: in this one? And I really want to do rom coms.
• 39:23
  Speaker 5: I would kill in that space. There's not enough people
• 39:28
  Speaker 5: that want to and can deliver with the complex layers
• 39:32
  Speaker 5: that I believe rom coms had in the nineties. I
• 39:35
  Speaker 5: think people sometimes go in and they phone it in
• 39:38
  Speaker 5: because they classified as a rom com. But when Harry
• 39:41
  Speaker 5: met Sally was a rom com and you watch that
• 39:44
  Speaker 5: and you're like, now that's a slice of life, delicious
• 39:47
  Speaker 5: fit what you got? All of these films right that
• 39:52
  Speaker 5: I grew up, That's those are the movies I grew
• 39:54
  Speaker 5: up watching. Like my favorite is When Harry Met Sally.
• 39:57
  Speaker 5: I've told you before. For the Boys that Middler you
• 40:00
  Speaker 5: have the mirror has two faces.
• 40:05
  Speaker 2: Don Yeah.
• 40:07
  Speaker 5: God, I think what what we need just as humans
• 40:13
  Speaker 5: is to show our humanity. And I would love to
• 40:17
  Speaker 5: be the lead of those to showcase that people like
• 40:24
  Speaker 5: me deserve to just fall in love on screen.
• 40:27
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I think.
• 40:28
  Speaker 5: I think those are the stories that I'm here to
• 40:30
  Speaker 5: tell about the complex layers of what it is and
• 40:33
  Speaker 5: looks like to be a deeply flawed woman who is
• 40:38
  Speaker 5: on that journey, you know those That's.
• 40:41
  Speaker 2: That's an interesting that's an interesting perception because like, and
• 40:45
  Speaker 2: correct me if I'm wrong, But a lot of the
• 40:47
  Speaker 2: stuff that you've done, the hint defies the flaming Hots
• 40:50
  Speaker 2: have been more dramas, right, They've been kind of deeper stuff.
• 40:53
  Speaker 2: But I've known you for a year or two now,
• 40:56
  Speaker 2: and I've had a couple of encounters, and so by
• 41:00
  Speaker 2: you saying I'd love to do romantic comedies, I can
• 41:04
  Speaker 2: totally see it. But I'm saying that from someone who
• 41:07
  Speaker 2: has spoken to you outside of this right here, I'm like, oh, yeah,
• 41:10
  Speaker 2: I totally see it. You know, do you feel like
• 41:14
  Speaker 2: your instrument inside of you is telling us, is screaming
• 41:17
  Speaker 2: that out as well? Like, like, what made you come
• 41:20
  Speaker 2: to this realization? That that like, oh, I belong in
• 41:23
  Speaker 2: the sort of the rom com space, like this is
• 41:25
  Speaker 2: this is the avenue that I want to take.
• 41:30
  Speaker 1: Because she's hilarious.
• 41:34
  Speaker 6: Like I've had we met before a couple of I
• 41:37
  Speaker 6: remember meeting you at this other thing, and I was
• 41:39
  Speaker 6: always like, she's quick, man, She's super quick and witty
• 41:43
  Speaker 6: and like so like you, you naturally possess all of
• 41:48
  Speaker 6: the attributes that I would see in an actress leading
• 41:52
  Speaker 6: a romantic comedy.
• 41:54
  Speaker 1: But I'm saying you any any like you?
• 41:56
  Speaker 2: You're yourself, you know so. But it's interesting that they're
• 42:00
  Speaker 2: rejectory of your career is taking you down down drama,
• 42:02
  Speaker 2: so like like what what what did you come to
• 42:05
  Speaker 2: some realization that you were just like, hey, this is
• 42:07
  Speaker 2: part of like my toolbox here that really hasn't been
• 42:10
  Speaker 2: used as an actress. And I want to go down
• 42:12
  Speaker 2: this direction.
• 42:14
  Speaker 5: I think, and I say this without like ego to myself,
• 42:19
  Speaker 5: but I think if I'm looking at myself as like
• 42:21
  Speaker 5: a product and as like like like like a business, right,
• 42:27
  Speaker 5: I've lived so much life and I have so much depth.
• 42:29
  Speaker 5: I always have that, and I think it's and you know,
• 42:34
  Speaker 5: sometimes it's like detrimental even to myself, but that I
• 42:37
  Speaker 5: want to leave this world like exhausted, Like I've done
• 42:41
  Speaker 5: everything that I've could right, like I sing, I dance.
• 42:44
  Speaker 5: I'm writing a short film like and and not because
• 42:47
  Speaker 5: I want to like capitalize off of everything. It's not
• 42:49
  Speaker 5: I'm not trying to turn everything into like a monetary thing.
• 42:51
  Speaker 5: But I'm like, I feel like God gave me these gifts,
• 42:54
  Speaker 5: so why not use them to the fullest. And to me,
• 42:58
  Speaker 5: comedy is so hard, like to do it well, like
• 43:02
  Speaker 5: and you guys are you guys have done everything as
• 43:05
  Speaker 5: well and are like deliciously comedic in a way that's like, damn,
• 43:09
  Speaker 5: we didn't know that you could do that with that thing.
• 43:12
  Speaker 5: I mean, I've heard the story about that seventies show
• 43:14
  Speaker 5: and them not knowing what this character was gonna be like,
• 43:17
  Speaker 5: and you show up and every freaking time it's like.
• 43:21
  Speaker 4: No, no one knows what's coming out of you.
• 43:23
  Speaker 5: No one knows how like, and every time you've been
• 43:25
  Speaker 5: on screen, I'm like, it's such interesting choices. I find
• 43:29
  Speaker 5: that to be way more difficult than sitting and crying
• 43:33
  Speaker 5: and milking a moment. And even in those moments, I
• 43:35
  Speaker 5: do try and find the layers of complexities because humans
• 43:39
  Speaker 5: are so interesting. But I do why, I think I
• 43:43
  Speaker 5: want why I want to do rom com In particular,
• 43:49
  Speaker 5: being a brown woman, I find it exhausting that the
• 43:55
  Speaker 5: stories that were allowed to tell come from struggle, strife
• 43:59
  Speaker 5: or high achievement, right, like, like, I'm just a fucking person. Yeah,
• 44:07
  Speaker 5: I have been the devil in someone's life and I've
• 44:10
  Speaker 5: been someone's angel. And I think, as I think, you know,
• 44:15
  Speaker 5: it feels like a lot of the stories that get
• 44:16
  Speaker 5: greenlit sometimes films, I mean, even even the ones that
• 44:19
  Speaker 5: I've been a part of, right, it's big ip and
• 44:22
  Speaker 5: it's you know, rags to riches or like this, Like
• 44:25
  Speaker 5: I'm I I just want to live.
• 44:27
  Speaker 4: I think that's how.
• 44:28
  Speaker 5: Then that's how then politics and policies change and are
• 44:31
  Speaker 5: made for us by us, if if we are humanized
• 44:35
  Speaker 5: on screen and not victor or villain.
• 44:39
  Speaker 1: Totally agreed.
• 44:40
  Speaker 3: I also think, uh, you know, you've you've made such
• 44:44
  Speaker 3: an impression on community. I you know, I want to
• 44:47
  Speaker 3: make sure that that's something that we talk about because.
• 44:49
  Speaker 4: I want to take that with me. This is not
• 44:51
  Speaker 4: negating that.
• 44:52
  Speaker 5: This is also showing like y'all is okay, Like you know,
• 44:56
  Speaker 5: we hear this thing all the time, like I am
• 44:57
  Speaker 5: my ancestor's wildest dreams.
• 44:59
  Speaker 4: I want the Oscar.
• 45:00
  Speaker 5: Your answers don't give no fuck about you when a
• 45:02
  Speaker 5: no Oscar girl, Your answers, why did you buy the
• 45:04
  Speaker 5: river with your family hanging out, laughing, singing joyfully, Like
• 45:08
  Speaker 5: That's where I'm going with it, right, Like you don't
• 45:11
  Speaker 5: have to be a freaking CEO of IBM in order
• 45:15
  Speaker 5: to be worth a damn. Like I think about this
• 45:18
  Speaker 5: all the time. If I did nothing, the people that
• 45:21
  Speaker 5: have impacted me the most are the people that have
• 45:23
  Speaker 5: just bestowed kindness upon me. I remember when I was
• 45:26
  Speaker 5: down and out depressed. I'm walking down the street in
• 45:29
  Speaker 5: North Hollywood and this unhoused man starts talking to me.
• 45:33
  Speaker 5: I didn't know he was on house at the time.
• 45:34
  Speaker 5: We just start chatting. He's like, how's your day, girl.
• 45:36
  Speaker 5: I'm like it's not good. I'm like, I have no idea.
• 45:40
  Speaker 5: We're chatting, but it's not a good day. And he's like,
• 45:42
  Speaker 5: talk to me sis. And we're sitting here and I'm like,
• 45:44
  Speaker 5: is this And he's like, you want some of this joint?
• 45:46
  Speaker 4: And I'm like, all right, we're smoking a joint.
• 45:48
  Speaker 5: And he's like Hey, I got to catch the buzz
• 45:49
  Speaker 5: because the shelter's closing soon.
• 45:51
  Speaker 2: You want to take it with me?
• 45:52
  Speaker 5: And I was like, and at that moment, I was like, girls,
• 45:54
  Speaker 5: shut up, like shut up right now. Like but it's that,
• 45:57
  Speaker 5: it's like this beautiful hue, Like it's what are we
• 46:01
  Speaker 5: doing in this space of saying giving hierarchy to one
• 46:06
  Speaker 5: thing and not the other?
• 46:09
  Speaker 3: So now, and as we kind of wrap up our conversation,
• 46:12
  Speaker 3: do you have there's a young Anna Gonzalaz out there
• 46:16
  Speaker 3: and she's listening to this podcast and she's like, wow,
• 46:23
  Speaker 3: she's talking to me. What do you want to say
• 46:26
  Speaker 3: to her?
• 46:35
  Speaker 5: To any young person out there who is struggling to
• 46:39
  Speaker 5: love themselves, to understand themselves, the fact that you are
• 46:43
  Speaker 5: asking these questions means you are halfway there. If you
• 46:46
  Speaker 5: see a big problem, then you also know that a
• 46:50
  Speaker 5: big solution is coming. There's going to be a lot
• 46:52
  Speaker 5: of people along the way that are going to vilify
• 46:55
  Speaker 5: you for the things that come natural to you. My
• 46:58
  Speaker 5: whole life, people would say you're too much, you're too loud,
• 47:01
  Speaker 5: you're to this, And now I make a living doing
• 47:05
  Speaker 5: all these things that people told me were wrong, bad, ugly,
• 47:08
  Speaker 5: and stupid about me. Turn the things that if people try,
• 47:13
  Speaker 5: that people have tried to use against you into your superpower.
• 47:18
  Speaker 5: It's not about being better a better person. I think
• 47:23
  Speaker 5: it's about being more of an honest person. And the
• 47:25
  Speaker 5: more that you can accept who you are, the more
• 47:29
  Speaker 5: than you can become integrated and actualized and have sovereignty
• 47:35
  Speaker 5: and full self acceptance to go do whatever purpose is
• 47:39
  Speaker 5: on your heart.
• 47:42
  Speaker 3: Well, ladies and gentlemen, does any Gonzales in the house
• 47:46
  Speaker 3: so happy that you can't do to see us and
• 47:48
  Speaker 3: spend a little time with us? And I hope that
• 47:51
  Speaker 3: the world continues to discover the beauty that you are.
• 47:54
  Speaker 3: And I'm just so proud of you, so proud to
• 47:57
  Speaker 3: have you here, so proud to have you in our lives,
• 48:00
  Speaker 3: and excited to watch you in the big one and
• 48:02
  Speaker 3: on the small one too.
• 48:05
  Speaker 1: Absolutely, yes, no, I'm just so excited.
• 48:07
  Speaker 2: So so so grateful to have you here.
• 48:09
  Speaker 1: Annie.
• 48:09
  Speaker 2: And uh and for those listening, all those producers and
• 48:12
  Speaker 2: directors listening out there, Annie is hilarious in real life.
• 48:18
  Speaker 2: I know, I know you've seen her in all these
• 48:23
  Speaker 2: wonderful dramas. She's killed it. She's proven that she's a
• 48:27
  Speaker 2: wonderful actress, but she is absolutely hilarious and I one
• 48:32
  Speaker 2: agree with you. I think you should be doing romantic
• 48:34
  Speaker 2: comedies as well. Thank you so much for being here.
• 48:37
  Speaker 2: I am Freddie Rodriguez.
• 48:38
  Speaker 1: And not wilmot Rama. Thank you for listening to podcasts.
• 48:47
  Speaker 2: YEA is a production from WV Sound and iHeartMedia's Michael
• 48:56
  Speaker 2: through That podcast Network, hosted by Me, Freddie Rodriguez, and
• 49:00
  Speaker 2: Wilmer Valdorama.
• 49:01
  Speaker 3: Those Amigos is produced by Cooper Mole and Sophie Spencer Saveles.
• 49:04
  Speaker 2: Our executive producers are Wilmervaldurama, Freddie Rodriguez, and Leo Clem
• 49:09
  Speaker 2: at WV Sound.
• 49:11
  Speaker 3: This show is mixed and mastered by Sean Tracy and
• 49:14
  Speaker 3: original music by Madison Devenport and Hala Boy.
• 49:17
  Speaker 2: For more podcasts from my Heart, visit the R Heart
• 49:19
  Speaker 2: Radio app, Apple podcast, or wherever you listen to your
• 49:23
  Speaker 2: favorite shows.
• 49:24
  Speaker 1: See you next week.