Latest / HOTLCAST / The God-Shaped Hole: Understanding Addiction in All Its Forms

Transcript

The God-Shaped Hole: Understanding Addiction in All Its Forms · HOTLCAST

• 0:01
  SPEAKER_02: Hello and welcome back to the Hotl cast.
• 0:04
  SPEAKER_02: I'm Kyle.
• 0:04
  SPEAKER_01: I'm Matt.
• 0:05
  SPEAKER_01: I'm Ryan.
• 0:06
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm Mark.
• 0:07
  SPEAKER_02: And we are here with you.
• 0:08
  SPEAKER_02: And uh yeah, we've got Ryan back.
• 0:11
  unknown: Ryan?
• 0:11
  SPEAKER_02: I just came back from the state of Ohio, down near Cincinnati, from uh Save a Warrior.
• 0:17
  SPEAKER_02: Ryan, I think we've talked about Save a Warrior, but we it's been probably a while.
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_02: So tell us what what do you do with Save a Warrior?
• 0:23
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, that's that that a lot.
• 0:25
  SPEAKER_00: Um so Save a Warrior is a is a suicide intervention program um meant for veterans and first responders.
• 0:34
  SPEAKER_00: It's in base out of Hillsboro, Ohio.
• 0:36
  SPEAKER_00: And it it takes takes veterans that that we call been on tour, you know, that it that have been to the VA, that have have taken the programs, have read the books, and their life still isn't worked.
• 0:45
  SPEAKER_00: And and and our program is hard to describe, but I always say they they they told me about God by telling me they weren't they weren't telling me about God.
• 0:55
  SPEAKER_00: And and really just uh yeah, yeah, make some distinctions, give you some language, help you, help you get complete with some things that maybe you didn't realize you were struggling with, and then we give them uh give them a couple years worth of work to to integrate all that that new stuff to maybe try to make their life work so they don't want to kill themselves anymore.
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_02: Good.
• 1:16
  SPEAKER_02: So I know that's something that's really important to you and you you do regularly.
• 1:19
  SPEAKER_02: So that's cool.
• 1:21
  SPEAKER_02: Thank you for doing that.
• 1:22
  SPEAKER_02: I know it's it's important.
• 1:24
  SPEAKER_02: The suicide rate for veterans is super high.
• 1:27
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, about twenty about twenty-six a day.
• 1:29
  SPEAKER_02: That's wow, yeah, that's insane.
• 1:31
  unknown: Yeah.
• 1:31
  SPEAKER_02: Um so yeah.
• 1:32
  SPEAKER_02: Well, we're glad you're back.
• 1:34
  SPEAKER_02: So me too.
• 1:35
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, we we missed you, so it was good to I was gonna call you a few times, like, oh no, he's busy.
• 1:39
  SPEAKER_02: So yeah.
• 1:40
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I'm I go off the grid when I go down there.
• 1:42
  SPEAKER_00: Wednesday to Wednesday to Sunday afternoon, I don't answer my phone.
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_02: So we just took your son for three days and had him come over to our house to our insanity.
• 1:50
  SPEAKER_02: So it was good.
• 1:51
  SPEAKER_02: But had lots of fun.
• 1:53
  SPEAKER_02: Well, um, you know, we we didn't talk about that topic on Sunday at church, but we did talk about alcohol, which leads to a lot of people finding intervention also at Save the Warrior.
• 2:04
  SPEAKER_02: Um, and so we we started back on a series called Vices.
• 2:08
  SPEAKER_02: And um we've this is the third time we revisited it, and we've done, I don't know, I think we've done probably 15 or 16 different messages over the the years on the Vices overall series, and we keep revisiting the series because it seems to be really helpful for people.
• 2:25
  SPEAKER_02: We talk about their stuff and they figure out a plan to move forward.
• 2:28
  SPEAKER_02: So this time we revisited like drugs and alcohol.
• 2:31
  SPEAKER_02: We've just had a lot of people struggling with drugs and alcohol this summer.
• 2:34
  SPEAKER_02: I've been personally doing a lot of counseling and trying to help people with that.
• 2:38
  SPEAKER_02: And when it comes down to it, we just said let's we were coming back devices to do drugs and alcohol, we're kind of revisited, but we revisited in the sense of addict addiction.
• 2:47
  SPEAKER_02: Like, what is the issue with those things is addiction, right?
• 2:50
  SPEAKER_02: Like I'm addicted to these substances, but then we kind of talked about food, we talked about phones, talked about um, you know, entertainment, comfort, leisure, like we can be addicted to anything.
• 2:59
  SPEAKER_02: So when we when we look at the overall understanding of the vice of addiction, what do you guys what do you guys think about it and how it affects people?
• 3:07
  SPEAKER_01: Well, I mean, the one that we see a ton of in church too is easily pornography because yeah, we talked about that, yeah.
• 3:13
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, that's one of the ones where it is quietly behind the scenes in so many people's lives.
• 3:19
  SPEAKER_01: I think you pointed out that it's like 70% of men and 50% of women, something like that in the church.
• 3:24
  SPEAKER_01: Like, this is not like secular.
• 3:26
  SPEAKER_02: It used to be 30% of women.
• 3:28
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, it has now climbed to 50%.
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_02: And so, like, because it's just so prevailing in culture, and I would say it's probably more than 70% of men now.
• 3:36
  SPEAKER_02: Um, there's not really good updated statistics.
• 3:39
  SPEAKER_02: But it's it's just it's on your phone, it's everywhere all the time.
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_02: So it's it's sad.
• 3:44
  SPEAKER_01: I had a pastor that I worked with once where he said, you know, 70% of men admit to it, and the other, you know, 30% are lying.
• 3:50
  SPEAKER_01: So it's not quite that high, I don't think, but it's probably I think 30% admit to it, and the other 70% are lying.
• 3:59
  SPEAKER_02: I think that's the reality of it.
• 4:00
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, no, no, I'm good, I'm good.
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 4:03
  SPEAKER_01: So it's one of those things where I think that whenever we look at that as one of like the prevailing things, that is just like it's an undercurrent that is constantly there where sex sells and people are using it for everything, and that is part of the problem, is that you kind of see this kind of all over the place.
• 4:19
  SPEAKER_01: We talked what last week, two weeks ago, something like that on Hoddle's Got Questions.
• 4:23
  SPEAKER_01: We talked about, you know, sex before marriage and everything like that.
• 4:26
  SPEAKER_01: And this all kind of feeds back into that is there needs to be this mentality of purity that doesn't necessarily exist.
• 4:33
  SPEAKER_01: And whenever you are absent that in culture, you're gonna fill that with whatever you want to.
• 4:38
  SPEAKER_01: And sometimes that is food, sometimes it's a drug, sometimes it's sex, sometimes it's whatever, where we are so far separated from God and the things that He has called us to be and the things that He has called us to do, that whenever you've got that God-shaped hole in your life, you're gonna start trying to fill it with whatever you can.
• 4:54
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 4:55
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 4:56
  SPEAKER_02: What do you think?
• 4:57
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
• 4:58
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, I mean, I think addiction is a byproduct of of um people finding out that they're not God.
• 5:05
  SPEAKER_00: You know, I think I think that's the biggest problem people have is they want to be God, but they're not, and they're constantly finding out they are, but they don't want to be with the fact that they're not God.
• 5:14
  SPEAKER_00: So what they do is they escape.
• 5:17
  SPEAKER_00: Because I think most most people in in my experience, and and this isn't a popular idea, but I think most most people are adult children.
• 5:26
  SPEAKER_00: I think most most grown-ups do do what they want to do when they want to do it, and they don't do what they don't want to do when they don't want to do it, and I think they throw a fit when it happens, it's just different when it's a when it's a little kid in a in a grocery store, you notice that, but when it's a grown-up just just tripling down on being right, you know.
• 5:44
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, I think people get pig drunk on their emotions, right?
• 5:48
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, I think that's what we're talking about is emotional sobriety, right?
• 5:52
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, yes, it looks bad, somebody who's a full-blown drunk and falling down and not paying their bills and getting fired from job ever, that looks bad.
• 6:00
  SPEAKER_00: But the person who's constantly getting pig drunk on their emotions, now that guy, that guy can manage to still look good, but he's just as much of a junkie as as the other dude.
• 6:09
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 6:10
  SPEAKER_00: And and I think that how we in my experience, how I how I got out of that loop and how I've kind of, you know, somewhat in whatever drop in the ocean I was in somebody else's journey, you know, help people lead them out of that is is just understanding that, like getting honest about how my own dishonesty.
• 6:28
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 6:28
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 6:28
  SPEAKER_00: And and I think that I I I think that when we that's how we do it as a community, right?
• 6:34
  SPEAKER_00: We gotta come together and be like, yeah, this is a thing for me.
• 6:36
  SPEAKER_00: Because 95% of you know, healing is actually acknowledging that you got some stuff.
• 6:42
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 6:43
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, no, I think I like you said you said we gotta get honest about our dishonesty.
• 6:49
  SPEAKER_02: So I think that's true.
• 6:50
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, the whole purpose of the sermon was to just get people to go tell somebody, hey, I'm struggling.
• 6:55
  SPEAKER_02: Like that's the start, right?
• 6:56
  SPEAKER_02: Like, hey, admit, admit I got a problem.
• 6:59
  SPEAKER_02: So I can get free.
• 7:00
  SPEAKER_02: And I can get free in Christ.
• 7:02
  SPEAKER_02: It's a process.
• 7:03
  SPEAKER_02: It's not an overnight thing, it's definitely a process.
• 7:07
  SPEAKER_02: So when it comes down to it, like how do we how do we navigate that in a way that's loving and kind and helpful and understanding when people are struggling?
• 7:14
  SPEAKER_02: Because people are struggling.
• 7:16
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, we I mean I share the statistic that 86.4% of all Americans will take a drink at once in their life.
• 7:21
  SPEAKER_02: That is a potential to lead to a downfall.
• 7:24
  SPEAKER_02: Like for some people, that first drink is is the worst thing they could ever decide to do because it's it's just a never-ending onslaught of brokenness.
• 7:31
  SPEAKER_02: And so some people can it won't affect them.
• 7:35
  SPEAKER_02: And so that's the problem, is you don't know who you are until that moment happens.
• 7:39
  SPEAKER_02: And so once you get caught into any addiction, you know, sex, drugs, alcohol, pornography, social media, telephones, entertainment, hobbies, whatever it is, food, like you you get stuck there.
• 7:51
  SPEAKER_02: And so we've got to get out of those for some people, for a lot of people in our congregation, it's food.
• 7:55
  SPEAKER_02: Like food's the addiction.
• 7:56
  SPEAKER_02: So that craving for sugar.
• 7:57
  SPEAKER_02: And so it's it's a hit, right?
• 7:59
  SPEAKER_02: I just need a hit of sugar.
• 8:01
  SPEAKER_02: So it's the same as you know, or cause a good one.
• 8:04
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, caffeine's an addiction.
• 8:05
  SPEAKER_02: So um, nicotine.
• 8:07
  SPEAKER_02: We don't even talk about nicotine, but like uh, I forget about that one, but that's out there.
• 8:12
  SPEAKER_02: Like when it comes down to it, how do you navigate these things in a way that allows your life to honor God?
• 8:18
  SPEAKER_02: We don't want to be controlled by the substance, we want to be in self-control.
• 8:22
  SPEAKER_02: One of the fruits of the spirit from Ephesians 5, 22, and 23 is self-control.
• 8:27
  SPEAKER_02: We need to have self-control, which means the Bible tells us to be sober-minded.
• 8:30
  SPEAKER_02: That was one of the verses we talked about.
• 8:32
  SPEAKER_02: Um, that we need to be sober-minded.
• 8:34
  SPEAKER_02: And sober-minded means we're in control.
• 8:36
  SPEAKER_02: We make our own decisions and we make them in a way that aligns with scripture, and we have self-control to do so.
• 8:41
  SPEAKER_02: So, with these issues, if you're listening to this and you're struggling, like if you've got something that's an addiction, you know it's driving your life.
• 8:47
  SPEAKER_02: Just go tell somebody, just be honest about it.
• 8:49
  SPEAKER_02: Say, hey, hey, you know, Ryan, I'm struggling, hey man, I'm struggling.
• 8:52
  SPEAKER_02: Like, and no matter what it is, yeah, we're gonna feel ashamed of our sin, but like we don't move forward unless we we go and be honest about it.
• 9:01
  SPEAKER_02: And I think be honest about your dishonesty and say, I'm struggling, I need help.
• 9:04
  SPEAKER_02: Tell your spouse, tell your friend, tell a pastor.
• 9:07
  SPEAKER_02: Um, you know, we we try to be really good.
• 9:08
  SPEAKER_02: Like you guys often say, Well, I didn't even know that person was going through that stuff, and like you've been counseling for months.
• 9:13
  SPEAKER_02: Like, we don't talk about your stuff, like because I've been at churches where pastors do, and then it causes chaos.
• 9:18
  SPEAKER_02: So, like, we are private.
• 9:19
  SPEAKER_02: There's a lot of times my wife and body, I didn't know this person was going through this stuff.
• 9:22
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah, that's not my job to tell you that.
• 9:24
  SPEAKER_02: It's my job to to keep that private and for those people because like we want to give you a path to success where you can trust in us that we have your best interest and and and and heart.
• 9:36
  SPEAKER_02: So I think that's where we want to be as a church, and that's hard.
• 9:40
  SPEAKER_02: It's hard for people to trust each other because you know you have friends, family who who break that trust, who take your your sensitive information and share it as you know, currency and relationships.
• 9:50
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I guess what I know about Ryan.
• 9:51
  SPEAKER_01: Guess what I know about a gossip addiction almost.
• 9:53
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, yeah.
• 9:54
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, that's a gibber.
• 9:57
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, well, that that's just a worldly thing, right, man.
• 9:59
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, it's that part of that transaction, right?
• 10:01
  SPEAKER_00: And in order for me to win, somebody else has to lose.
• 10:04
  SPEAKER_00: Right?
• 10:04
  SPEAKER_00: In order for me to look good, somebody else has to look bad.
• 10:07
  SPEAKER_01: Or just worse.
• 10:08
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, that's what I mean.
• 10:09
  SPEAKER_00: Like it's a it's a I'm either super great or or or or super garbage.
• 10:13
  SPEAKER_00: That's how the that's how the world works.
• 10:15
  SPEAKER_00: That's that's how the enemy kind of tweaks us in that, right?
• 10:18
  SPEAKER_00: And gets us stuck in that loop of the world.
• 10:20
  SPEAKER_00: And I and I so I I think that has a lot that's that's that paradox of of getting out of addiction, right?
• 10:26
  SPEAKER_00: The the way we get out of this thing that we can't talk about is to talk about it.
• 10:30
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 10:31
  SPEAKER_02: So I mean, I think if the the goal of this, just talking about this right now is if you're stuck, get help.
• 10:38
  SPEAKER_02: If you if you can't say no to a thing, tell somebody, hey, I'm really struggling with this.
• 10:44
  SPEAKER_02: And you might say, well, I don't, I don't drink every day, so I'm helping I'm healthy.
• 10:47
  SPEAKER_02: I only drink on the weekends.
• 10:48
  SPEAKER_02: Do you binge drink all weekend?
• 10:49
  SPEAKER_02: Do you what when you drink, is it 20 drinks?
• 10:51
  SPEAKER_02: Is it five drinks?
• 10:52
  SPEAKER_02: Can you not stop?
• 10:53
  SPEAKER_02: Like that is an addiction.
• 10:55
  SPEAKER_02: Whether you can do it addiction to a one moment, one weekend versus you know every night, like there's still an addiction.
• 11:01
  SPEAKER_02: And and we're gonna talk about some of that next week as we talk about like moderation and binging and like how that is also, you know, addiction.
• 11:09
  SPEAKER_02: Um, because you know, when you go off the deep end, you go off the deep end, right?
• 11:12
  SPEAKER_02: And so some people just like, well, if I can I can say no today, I'm fine, even if I can't say no tomorrow because I still said no yesterday.
• 11:20
  SPEAKER_02: That's that's only partially successful and you're still partially failing.
• 11:24
  SPEAKER_02: And so God wants you to have a life that aligns with his word.
• 11:28
  SPEAKER_02: And the control of your life is supposed to be through the Holy Spirit, through God's word, and under the authority of his son Jesus.
• 11:35
  SPEAKER_02: When we're addicted to a thing, that thing becomes the controlling influence in our life.
• 11:40
  SPEAKER_02: And it's not Jesus, it's not the Holy Spirit anymore.
• 11:42
  SPEAKER_02: And that we're supposed to be filled not with wine or drugs or pornography or whatever addiction you have, we're supposed to be filled with the Spirit.
• 11:49
  SPEAKER_02: It's really clear, and I think it's Ephesians 5.8, um, that that is what we're supposed to be filled with.
• 11:53
  SPEAKER_02: We're supposed to be sober-minded and filled with the Holy Spirit, not those things.
• 11:56
  SPEAKER_02: If you're struggling with that, guess what?
• 11:58
  SPEAKER_02: We all do at times.
• 11:59
  SPEAKER_02: Just tell somebody and get help and start making better decisions, get a better, you know, circle of accountability around you and walk through it.
• 12:07
  SPEAKER_01: So here's a question I have for you, Kyle, actually.
• 12:10
  SPEAKER_01: Is if somebody were to receive that conversation where someone comes up and says, Hey, I'm really dealing with this vice or I'm dealing with this issue or this sin, how would you advise the person who's receiving that to handle it?
• 12:23
  SPEAKER_02: Um, I would say walk through it with them, you know, say, hey, let me help you.
• 12:27
  SPEAKER_02: Like if as they if I mean it just changes, depends on the one, right?
• 12:30
  SPEAKER_02: If it's pornography, say fine, let's let me become your pornography accountability partner.
• 12:34
  SPEAKER_02: Like when you struggle, make make the call to me.
• 12:36
  SPEAKER_02: Hey, I'm struggling, I'm tempted to do this.
• 12:38
  SPEAKER_02: Get set up on coveted eyes.
• 12:39
  SPEAKER_02: So, like all their devices, all their social media, all their all their websites, all their computer stuff that you get an email through a program called Coveted Eyes where you know what they're looking at.
• 12:48
  SPEAKER_02: And then you gotta make the phone call and say, Hey, I'm uh I you're looking at some bad pictures.
• 12:52
  SPEAKER_02: Let's talk about it.
• 12:53
  SPEAKER_02: Um, when it comes to you know alcohol, have the daily conversation.
• 12:57
  SPEAKER_02: Call and say, Hey, did you drink today?
• 12:59
  SPEAKER_02: Call, did you do drugs today?
• 13:00
  SPEAKER_02: Like, how can I help you?
• 13:01
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, I've called a drug dealer multiple occasions.
• 13:03
  SPEAKER_02: I've showed up at a drug dealer's house before.
• 13:05
  SPEAKER_02: So, like, to try to find somebody from church.
• 13:08
  SPEAKER_02: So I mean, I wouldn't suggest that.
• 13:10
  SPEAKER_02: That's kind of dangerous, but I've called, I've taken the I've called all the phone numbers in somebody's phone that were that were unknown, that were drug dealers, like, hey, this is this is pastor call this.
• 13:19
  SPEAKER_02: I see that you come up on so-and-so's phone and like, hey, I just want to know, like, why are you coming up, you know, click, you know, and and they'll block that phone number and never take it again.
• 13:27
  SPEAKER_02: So and so, like, yeah, you can do things.
• 13:30
  SPEAKER_02: Now, some of those things will really tick people off.
• 13:33
  SPEAKER_02: So you gotta be careful.
• 13:34
  SPEAKER_02: But when it comes down to it, like, what are you willing to do to step in the gap for somebody?
• 13:38
  SPEAKER_02: Um, you know, I've got friends who are addicted to nicotine.
• 13:42
  SPEAKER_02: Like if you like if you see them at the gas station, hey, are you at the gas station because you're buying, you know, zins?
• 13:48
  SPEAKER_02: Are you at the gas station because you're you're you actually need gas because you you went twice today.
• 13:54
  SPEAKER_02: You don't need that much gas.
• 13:55
  SPEAKER_02: Like, those are hard conversations, and so you know, um, people don't like those, but that's what accountability looks like.
• 14:00
  SPEAKER_02: Give somebody your share somebody your location and on a like find my friend or life 360 and then say, hey, keep me accountable.
• 14:06
  SPEAKER_02: If I go to this place, call me and say, What are you doing there?
• 14:10
  SPEAKER_02: Why are you there?
• 14:11
  SPEAKER_02: And like that's what accountability looks like.
• 14:13
  SPEAKER_02: That's the hard questions, and people don't like that because like we don't want to be obedient to anybody or anything, but like we are supposed to be obedient to God's word, and the only way that we're doing that is with help.
• 14:24
  SPEAKER_00: That's true, man.
• 14:25
  SPEAKER_00: I'm yeah, I mean, we could talk all day about this, right?
• 14:28
  SPEAKER_00: But I mean, I I think that as humans, we don't we don't recognize our own best interest, right?
• 14:34
  SPEAKER_00: And and we generally left to our own accord will eventually choose us, right?
• 14:38
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 14:39
  SPEAKER_00: Because I I think though when we talk about addiction, what we're really talking about is being addicted to denying the accountability that we are in charge of our own lives.
• 14:48
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 14:48
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 14:49
  SPEAKER_00: And so by taking safe godly men and going, Yep, hey, you you get you get some authority in my life, right?
• 14:57
  SPEAKER_00: Um not not from a godly standpoint, but just from a a higher higher sense because I can't recognize my own best interest.
• 15:04
  SPEAKER_00: And we give that authority and we go, okay, now help me, keep me accountable.
• 15:08
  SPEAKER_00: Exactly.
• 15:08
  SPEAKER_00: I'm I'm 100% with you, I'm lockstep with you on that, Kyle.
• 15:11
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I mean, I have so many, I got, I got 30 safe, 30, 40 safe men in my life that if if I even have to stop and go, am I justifying myself?
• 15:20
  SPEAKER_00: Am I am I am I trying to trying to convince who am I trying to convince I'm right?
• 15:24
  SPEAKER_00: Because it's usually me.
• 15:26
  SPEAKER_00: And when I do that, then I have to stop and go, ooh, I'm I'm kind of rackety about I might maybe just maybe I'm rackety.
• 15:32
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe I'm not, but I have to I have to list those those safe people in my life and see what they got to say about it.
• 15:38
  SPEAKER_00: Because I I know they don't they're they don't want anything from me, they just want everything for me.
• 15:42
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, so that's good.
• 15:44
  SPEAKER_02: So if you're struggling, you can contact us, contact Pastor Ryan, contact Pastor Matt, contact myself.
• 15:51
  SPEAKER_02: Like we're here to help.
• 15:52
  SPEAKER_02: We'll put you and point you in the right direction, and we don't want you to stay stuck.
• 15:56
  SPEAKER_02: We don't want you to stay stuck in that addiction where it's controlling you, but you gotta tell God, hey, I'm sorry.
• 16:00
  SPEAKER_02: Uh please forgive me, and you know, ask him to, through his holy spirit, lead you to the right people, the right programs to get out of out of whatever's you're addicted to.
• 16:09
  SPEAKER_02: So thanks for listening.
• 16:11
  SPEAKER_02: We'll catch you on the next episode of the HODL casting.