Latest / Yes And Land / Nathan Hooper Pixar's Soul and the Art of Getting Unstuck | Nathan Hooper

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Nathan Hooper Pixar's Soul and the Art of Getting Unstuck | Nathan Hooper · Yes And Land

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dude this movie is so beautiful if you haven't
0:01
seen this like i don't know how humans wrote
0:03
it it's just honestly incredible the story joe
0:06
gardner he's a jazz musician he's a band teacher
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teaches eighth grade and he dies like he falls
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into a sewer and dies and like that's it and
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he's like my life is over he's like i can't be
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dying right now when my life is just about to
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get started like joe thought his spark was he
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thought that that was his purpose yes and i love
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the line with uh the jerry where he's like my
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purpose is piano and then jerry's like oh you
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humans and your passions like your spark's not
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your purpose like it's so basic my family hadn't
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made it to austin yet i go to the apartment i
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just like i'm just like laying on the ground
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like you know like kind of overwhelmed by that
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goal overwhelmed by uh my performance and just
0:42
like really feeling like what am i doing I had
0:46
had buddies who had gotten married and gotten
0:48
divorced in less than a year. And then I was
0:50
reading a book called So Good They Can't Ignore
0:52
You. Such a good book. And there was a line that
0:54
hit me so hard that I needed to start this podcast.
0:56
And so my wife and I just jumped into it. So
0:58
I feel like nature has a way of snapping me back
1:00
out. All these birds just going about their lives,
1:02
just finding their worms. They're just doing
1:03
their thing. And all I'm doing is going about
1:04
my life, finding my worm. Like, why am I getting
1:06
so worked up about that? I'm going to hike and
1:07
just seeing the vista, just seeing like, I am
1:10
in one tiny little section of the whole world.
1:12
And this little section is beautiful. But if
1:14
I really zoom out, this place is so big. There
1:17
is so much going on here. Welcome to Yes and
1:23
Land, where we say yes to the reality of yesterday
1:26
and today, and we say and to the possibility,
1:30
growth, and imagination of tomorrow. Welcome
1:40
to another episode of Yes and Land. We are very
1:43
excited today. We are joined by Nathan Hooper.
1:46
We might kind of go through what to call him.
1:48
Is it Nate? Is it Nate the Great? Is it Hooper?
1:51
Hoop Daddy. Hoop Daddy. Or just Hoops. We'll
1:55
see. As we evolve through this episode, we're
1:57
going to kind of get a feel for what to call
1:59
you. Yeah, we'll start at Nathan and at Hoop
2:00
Daddy. We'll get there. Okay. I mean, I'm just
2:02
going to go for right now. I'm going to go to
2:03
the full name, Nathan Hooper. So Nathan Hooper
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is an account strategist at a company called
2:08
97th Floor, which is a fantastic company. that
2:12
does a ton of marketing for some really great
2:15
companies. And Nathan is also, I'm going to call
2:20
him a sports psychologist enthusiast. Yeah, I
2:23
love that. Something that you've dove into a
2:28
lot and learned a lot about. And we're going
2:29
to have fun today because we're going to talk
2:31
about... The movie Soul, which is a terrific
2:34
movie, actually came out in 2020 during COVID,
2:37
which is interesting. And they have, I mean,
2:40
a wonderful musician who wrote music for that
2:44
and has talked a lot about it, John Batiste,
2:47
who is fantastic. And today we're going to be
2:50
talking a little bit about really getting alignment.
2:56
finding what I'm going to say, joy in the journey.
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That's a phrase we like to use, finding joy in
3:00
the journey, and really kind of finding and building
3:02
for fulfillment and success along the path. So
3:07
I'm really excited to kind of see and hear some
3:09
of your takes there. You all should know as well
3:12
that Hoop Daddy did have a podcast for a while
3:16
there, and the podcast he did with his wife,
3:18
which is really cool, and the podcast was designed
3:20
for, if I'm not mistaken, helping people prepare
3:25
for marriage. That's right. Is that right? Which
3:27
is why it's kind of fun today because we have
3:29
kind of a paradox, right? So Nathan was out there
3:31
helping people make sure they stay married, and
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I'm over here helping people get divorced. I
3:35
was trying to take you out of business. You were,
3:37
right? And it's funny, in our prep, as I thought
3:40
more about that, I think it's kind of a fun paradox
3:42
because in real, I don't think it's sexually
3:44
that different. When I think about some of the
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things that we do as a divorce law firm, for
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me as a divorce attorney, I'm trying to help
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educate people on how to get alignment in co
3:56
-parenting, how to have less conflict, but also
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really providing tools and education resources
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so the next time around, hopefully it'll stick.
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Hopefully it'll stick, right? Because the reality
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is I don't want people to get divorced. I always
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say when people come to us and they do a consultation
4:13
with me, they're asking me if they should get
4:15
divorced. I'm like, that is totally your call.
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I'm not here to tell anybody to get divorced.
4:21
ready to get divorced, when it's the right call
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for their situation, their life, then we help
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them do it. So that'd be kind of a fun paradox
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for us to kind of explore a little bit today.
4:28
So Nate, just real briefly, I would love for
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you to give a little bit of background for yourself,
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kind of like where you're from, how you ended
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up deciding to start a podcast and kind of where
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that took you and all the way up until where
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you are now. Sure. Yeah. I'm from West Jordan.
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So I know you're also from West Jordan. I went
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to the Jaguars, West Jordan High, so Copper Hills.
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I know. Yeah. Yeah. Big rivalry. I would like
4:53
to say we had a rivalry. I don't think either
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of us was really good enough for a rivalry, right?
4:56
We both wanted to be rivals with Bingham. With
4:59
Bingham, but they would just smack us around.
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Yeah, it was just horrible. And Bingham's like,
5:02
oh, you guys are like the little brothers. Like,
5:04
not even important. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, so I
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grew up in West Jordan. I'm the oldest of four.
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Big basketball guy. We were just hitting on basketball.
5:10
So I love basketball sports. That kind of led
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into the sports psychology. So I started a mission
5:16
for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter -day
5:17
Saints, got back. I got into finance. I worked
5:20
at E -Trade for a while, became a broker, met
5:22
my wife on Mutual online. Shout out, Mutual.
5:24
That's how we met. And then we got married, and
5:27
I started getting into door -to -door sales,
5:31
and that took me into the podcast, which was
5:33
just something I wanted to do on the side. I
5:35
had had buddies who had gotten married and gotten
5:37
divorced in less than a year. It's tough. It
5:40
was really tough. And then I was reading a book
5:41
called So Good They Can't Ignore You. uh, by
5:44
Cal, I forget his last name, but Cal Newport,
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such a good book. And there was a line in there.
5:49
I forget the line on us right now, but it hit
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me so hard. I need to start this podcast. And
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so my wife and I just jumped into it, you know,
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both feet in and we started doing this podcast
5:56
and talking about, uh, we had had an experience
5:59
before we got married. We were able to work with
6:01
a marriage counselor that my wife knew had a
6:04
family friend, a marriage therapist. And so we
6:05
had two sessions with her before we got married.
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I feel like it was so impactful for us to help
6:09
us. have a strong foundation to build on as we
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got married. So we wanted to share some of that.
6:13
There really weren't any resources for marriage
6:15
preparation that we could find. And so we wanted
6:16
to kind of be the first ones in that space. So
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when you look at that, what did you, as you do
6:23
that podcast, as you start bringing guests on,
6:26
you're diving deeper into that world, what did
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you start to identify some of the major problems
6:31
or issues that people could correct when they
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were... In those stages of getting engaged and
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going to be married so that hopefully that they
6:41
could stay together and not end up down that
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path of divorce. Yeah. A big thing that we pushed
6:46
in. So our therapist, she had given us this marriage
6:48
checklist, had a bunch, a bunch of different
6:50
questions from every topic, from finances to
6:53
communication styles to, you know, sexual intimacy,
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like all these different topics that we hit on
6:58
that we'd want to talk about and have these deep
7:00
conversations with before we got married was
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so important for us. I feel like one of the best
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advice I'd gotten was. Just making sure you guys
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are. aiming in the same direction like you both
7:10
want to go the same place like this an easy example
7:13
is if i want to i don't want to have any children
7:15
and i want to live in utah that's my life and
7:17
i'm my i marry my wife and she wants to have
7:19
five kids and move to florida like those things
7:21
are so different that we're naturally going to
7:23
brush up on each other so making sure that we're
7:25
moving the right direction moving in the same
7:26
direction we have the similar goals we've had
7:28
those deep conversations about all these different
7:30
topics beforehand to make sure that we're aligned
7:32
and being vulnerable with each other i think
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it's one of the most critical things that young
7:36
preparing couple can can do to help make sure
7:38
they're building the right foundation and so
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let me ask you a few more questions about that
7:42
kind of building the right foundation uh getting
7:44
alignment on kind of where you're going i think
7:47
there's this interesting thing for us to explore
7:49
here a little bit about you know what is what
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is the alignment and and what are the goals you're
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shooting for when i was thinking about this to
7:57
me what kept coming to mind and one of the important
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things i think and i want to get your take is
8:02
really getting alignment on values as well yeah
8:05
because There are times like we don't know where
8:09
life is going to take us. If you told me in law
8:12
school that I would be a divorce attorney, I
8:14
would have literally laughed at you. I've been
8:16
like, that will never happen. I will never do
8:19
that. Divorce is the worst, so I will not practice
8:21
that. And so if I had been so set in that, I
8:25
might not have found something that ended up
8:26
being really fulfilling. But to me, getting alignment
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on values is... also a super important part of
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that foundation in my mind. What's your take
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on that, on alignment on values, but also alignment
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on what those goals are while still understanding
8:42
flexibility and what those things could be? That's
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a good question. I think you have to have that
8:47
baseline level of, we're connected at this point.
8:51
We have similar values where you want to go in
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the same direction. I think that is really, really
8:56
pivotal. I just totally agree with that. You
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have to have those same Same foundation of, yeah,
9:02
we're aligned on that. That space thing, it's
9:04
huge. Yeah, I mean, if much like in business,
9:10
I think, if values are misaligned, then even
9:15
if sometimes you might be theoretically going
9:18
in the same direction when values are misaligned,
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it just becomes this rub. Now, it's sometimes
9:25
hard to know that, right? I think what I really
9:29
appreciate about what you were suggesting and
9:31
what you and your wife did is you did some of
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that work before. When you're hiring somebody
9:35
in business, you get an interview for an hour.
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It's kind of hard to figure out, have those deep
9:40
conversations and figure out that. But do people
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sometimes do that with their relationships and
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don't do enough of the work work? I mean, sometimes
9:49
people get so caught up in the newness of this.
9:55
you know i'm so in lust yes with this person
9:58
yes that that sometimes those other conversations
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the deeper ones don't happen yeah 100 and i i
10:04
do like the idea too of being able to see each
10:06
other in every stage of life or the four seasons
10:08
i think that's a big point that some advice we've
10:11
gotten is yeah seeing your significant other
10:13
in all four seasons and just different seeing
10:15
different sides going on different on trips or
10:17
just like different how they interact with those
10:19
families i think you're just constantly just
10:21
putting each other in different situations seeing
10:22
how people are responding and making sure that
10:24
you're lined up that way. And yeah, you're doing
10:26
it for the right reason. I think that lasts,
10:27
especially in Utah culture where it's like, you
10:30
know, got these feelings and I, yeah, you know,
10:33
kind of get married early so we can do what we
10:35
want to do. And it can cause some trouble if
10:37
you don't have a real strong foundation. You
10:40
know, you're kind of, you're built on a sandy
10:41
foundation on that for sure. I like the idea
10:44
of the four seasons. Did you ever see the movie
10:46
with, I think it was Jimmy Fallon. I don't know
10:50
if it was called Boston Fever or Fever Pitch
10:52
or something. But, like, he was this guy who
10:55
was this just fanatic Boston Red Sox fan in the
10:58
movie. And when he first meets this girl, it's
11:03
not baseball season. And so she gets, like, the
11:06
version of him that's not in baseball season.
11:07
That's, like, attentive and does stuff with her.
11:11
And she, like, falls in love with him. And then
11:13
suddenly, like, baseball season comes. And he
11:16
is obsessed, right? Every single game. And it's
11:20
this big thing of, like, figuring out who's going
11:22
to be going with him. They spend all this time,
11:24
like, you know, his friends, like, bidding for
11:26
who wants to go to what game. And it just becomes
11:29
all -encompassing during baseball season. It's
11:31
a totally different version because it's a different
11:32
season. Literally, like, season of the year,
11:35
but also, like, baseball season. I do think when
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you first said that, it made me think of that.
11:39
Like, if you don't see what somebody's like during
11:42
different seasons, it might be a little bit shocking,
11:45
a little bit surprising, right? Helpful to have
11:47
those different seasons that you see. 100%. So
11:50
will you kind of set the stage for us? Because
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I want to dive into some things about soul. Cool.
11:57
And how it kind of applies to these topics and
11:59
kind of run through the... the arc of the story
12:02
as we talk. But if you could lay the foundation
12:06
of the movie Soul. Give us a little recap of
12:09
overarching what the movie is. Dude, this movie
12:12
is so beautiful. If you haven't seen this movie,
12:14
I don't know how humans wrote it. It's just honestly
12:16
incredible the whole flow of it. But the story,
12:19
Joe Gardner, he's a jazz musician. He's a band
12:23
teacher, teaches eighth grade. And you can tell
12:25
he's dissatisfied with his life. He doesn't feel
12:28
like he's done much. He's older. He's single.
12:31
uh lives by himself like he just generally feels
12:34
dissatisfied he ends up finally getting his big
12:38
break where he has this big opportunity to play
12:40
with in a jazz band with a really famous musician
12:44
super excited. And he's going about his life.
12:46
He just is like pump. He's calling people. He's
12:47
walking through the city and he dies. Like he
12:49
falls into a sewer and dies and like, that's
12:51
it. And he's like, my life is over. He's like,
12:53
I can't, I can't be dying right now when my life
12:55
is just about to get started. Like I'm just finally
12:57
about to start living and like now it's over.
12:59
And so he has this big anxiety and he's kind
13:01
of trying to crawl out of like, he's like on
13:03
this escalator moving into heaven kind of deal,
13:05
the great beyond. And he's trying to get out
13:07
of it. And he finally like slips through. And
13:09
he lands in the great before, which is where
13:11
he meets 22. And she's a soul that doesn't want
13:15
to live. And so they have the kind of fun contrast
13:17
of him wanting to get back to his life so bad,
13:19
even though by all measures of the world, his
13:22
life has been a failure. 22 doesn't want to live
13:24
at all. And they connect and they go through
13:26
their whole experience and end up making it towards
13:29
the end where he achieves his dream. He gets
13:33
to do what he wanted to do, but it ends up not
13:35
fulfilling him. That's not actually what. he
13:37
like he realized it's not what's what he wanted
13:39
but it wasn't what he needed and so then he has
13:41
his experience where he played yeah he has he
13:43
plays with her um and then it's like yeah he
13:46
wasn't filled so he goes back and helps 22 then
13:49
and that's where he really has fulfillment and
13:51
gets what he needs and actually learns what the
13:53
purpose of life is that really is just life itself
13:56
there's not necessarily a goal that you're trying
13:58
to reach but an experience so part of the way
14:01
that they kind of phrased that in there was that
14:03
these in the group before that these little kind
14:06
of souls needed to find their spark yeah and
14:09
until they found a spark they wouldn't go to
14:12
earth right that kind of idea so 22 has been
14:14
in this uh forever in this journey of trying
14:17
to find a spark and she she thinks she knows
14:19
what it means to find a spark and so does joe
14:22
and i think what's what's one of the really great
14:24
lessons from it is what is that end up meaning.
14:28
What is a spark? What is the finest spark? We're
14:30
going to dive into that. So I want to take you
14:31
back. So now we know the story. I want to take
14:33
you back. So we go back before Joe actually dies,
14:38
right? And he's got to get his suit tailored
14:42
up. And his mom is... What is it called? She's
14:47
a seamstress. And so he goes to her, and he's
14:51
telling her what he wants to do. And she's seen
14:54
this before because her husband was a musician,
14:56
and she saw The Hard Life, and she was the one
14:57
who put food on the table because she had a job.
15:00
She had this seamstress shop that she would do
15:03
to actually make money. And I want to get your
15:06
take on this exchange. So Joe's mom says when
15:09
he's talking about his dreams, like, this is
15:11
my dream gig. I want to go play because he's
15:13
got it but hasn't done it yet. And she says,
15:15
you can't eat dreams, Joey. And he says, then
15:19
I don't want to eat. Yeah. And I don't want to
15:21
eat. And so it's kind of this heartbreaking exchange
15:24
because when I think about it, Joe's not trying
15:27
to be reckless, right? But he's putting all of
15:31
his stock, all of his worth, everything into
15:33
getting this gig to be able to play in a jazz
15:36
band. So kind of give me your take on kind of
15:39
this exchange between Joe's mom and himself.
15:43
Yeah, that's interesting. One of the first things
15:47
that comes to my mind is A quote from Alan Watts.
15:50
Are you familiar with Alan Watts? I think he's
15:53
from England, but he had a lot of super cool
15:56
philosophy. And I'll read this quote that I loved.
15:58
He says, We thought of life by analogy with a
16:02
journey, a pilgrimage, which had a serious purpose
16:05
at the end. And the thing was to get to that
16:07
end, success or whatever it is. Maybe it's heaven
16:09
after you're dead. But we missed the point the
16:12
whole way along. It was a musical thing, and
16:14
you were supposed to sing or dance while the
16:15
music was being played. For Joe he and it's so
16:21
interesting to if you guys have seen the movie
16:22
whiplash using whiplash or have you seen Marty
16:24
supreme? No. These two movies where it's like
16:27
it's the antithesis of soul, where it's two characters
16:31
who are just so focused on their dream, their
16:33
passion. In Marty Supreme, it's ping pong. And
16:36
in Whiplash, it's the drums. He wants to be a
16:39
great drummer. Oh, right. And they're just so
16:41
focused on that that everything else in their
16:43
lives falls apart. And it's like they don't.
16:45
Marty Supreme has kind of a happier ending than
16:47
Whiplash. But it's like they're just it's the
16:49
cost of living that dream. And so for Joe, he's
16:51
like, I don't want to eat. I just want to. do
16:54
this thing. That's what's going to help me be
16:55
successful. Like if you, when he dies, he has
16:58
this experience where he sees his life flash
17:01
before. And he's like, he realizes comparing
17:03
himself to the other philosopher that he kind
17:05
of took the spot up. He's like, my life was meaningless
17:07
because he didn't have any big accomplishments.
17:09
He, that's what he, that's what he, that was
17:11
a success look like for him in life is that having
17:13
this big conscience didn't have those. And so
17:14
we feel like his life was meaningless. But, um,
17:16
anyway, it just, the whole idea of. success in
17:20
your life and finding meaning in your life through
17:21
all the little moments is what actually makes
17:24
a meaningful life, especially helping others
17:25
and serving others. his spark was to play jazz.
17:31
And he thought that that was his purpose. Yes.
17:33
And I love the line with the Jerry where he's
17:35
like, my purpose is piano. And the Jerry's like,
17:38
Oh, you humans and your passions, like your sparks,
17:40
not your purpose. Like it's so basic. Like that's
17:42
not your, that's not why you're here on this
17:44
planet is to play piano. Like that's so basic.
17:46
So anyway, I love that exchange too. And, and
17:49
one of the ways that as we kind of see 22 and
17:52
Joe start to experience some things together,
17:55
right. Where 22 ends up. taking over joe's body
17:58
right so she's doing things and so for so long
18:01
she didn't want to live because she couldn't
18:03
find a spark suddenly she starts appreciating
18:06
things yeah right um like the taste of pizza
18:10
yeah right like uh she sees one of these trees
18:13
that have the the seeds that fall down and spin
18:16
right and she sees one of those and um and this
18:20
is another one that i want to get your take on
18:23
Because basically she asked him like, well, hey,
18:25
could my purpose be like sky watching? Could
18:29
my purpose be walking? Because walking is so
18:31
great. And he says, those aren't purposes, 22.
18:35
That's just regular old living. What's the lesson
18:39
there? Because it's right in line with what you're
18:41
talking about, right? What's the lesson there?
18:43
Yeah. Yeah. It's an interesting moment where
18:47
he says that at first and it kind of. makes 22
18:49
spiral where she's like i want to go find my
18:52
purpose and she runs away right as they're about
18:53
to switch their bodies and then it comes back
18:56
again at the end when he like realizes he got
18:59
what he wanted it wasn't actually what was going
19:01
to fulfill him in life and so he goes back to
19:03
find 22 because it would become a lost soul and
19:06
then in there like he's like in this i don't
19:08
know darkness with her and like all these you
19:10
know ghosts or whatever talking to them and stuff
19:12
and that line just kind of keeps coming up but
19:16
i listening to the writers talk about soul and
19:18
they talk about like the purpose of life is life
19:20
itself like it is to dance while the music is
19:23
being played and it is to like experience the
19:25
the reality and like the beauties of life and
19:28
we just get so caught up in these certain things
19:30
that sky watching can absolutely be your purpose
19:33
of just like enjoying that moment or enjoying
19:35
the taste of pizza or the sucker or the interaction
19:38
with the barber like those little moments are
19:39
really the culmination of those what makes a
19:41
beautiful meaningful life it's not I was able
19:44
to play at a jazz band or I won an NBA championship.
19:46
That's not really what success is about at the
19:48
end of the day. You know what I'm saying? Absolutely.
19:50
And to that point, I mean, that's one of the
19:53
things that I think Joe ended up commenting on.
19:57
I wrote this one down. And you mentioned earlier,
20:00
but it just perfectly fits in with that. After
20:03
he plays with that jazz band, and he did great.
20:07
He says, I've been waiting on this day my whole
20:09
life. I just thought it would feel different.
20:12
And you sometimes hear that with people who,
20:14
especially in the sports world, it's really easy
20:16
to identify that as a type for what we do and
20:19
experience. But somebody goes and wins a tournament
20:22
or wins a championship, right? And they have
20:24
that thing in that moment. They have joy. But
20:27
then right after, if that's been the only thing,
20:30
their only focus, it's a huge letdown. And I
20:35
want to read another quote from, I believe, somebody
20:37
who you really like. We'll see if you recognize
20:40
it. This author said, realize deeply that the
20:45
present moment is all you ever have. Make the
20:49
now the primary focus of your life. So that's
20:53
Eckhart Tolle from The Power of Now. Because
20:55
that's an author you really like, right? We talked
20:58
about that before. What does that mean to you?
21:02
And let's relate that to like... what you were
21:05
doing on your podcast the advice that you were
21:07
giving to couples as they're getting ready to
21:08
get married right realize deeply the present
21:10
moment is all you ever have make the now the
21:12
primary focus of your life yeah i i think that
21:19
it's really easy for us to get lost in the past
21:24
or even get lost in planning for the future that
21:26
we're missing moments now um my oldest daughter,
21:29
her name is Rosie. And we, there was a couple
21:32
of kind of fun connections, but we didn't decide
21:34
on the name until like my, we were in the hospital,
21:37
like about to give birth. And we had a couple
21:39
of names and we both landed on Rosie. And what
21:41
really swayed me was the idea of stopping and
21:43
smelling the roses of like, I wanted her to be
21:45
that reminder and let live that like life's purpose
21:48
of stopping and smelling the roses. And so I
21:51
think that living in the now, like. For example,
21:54
like I remember a couple of months ago, I went
21:56
on a walk. I love to go. I go on walks all the
21:58
time in my office. But I had like I realized
22:01
in my walk I was so scattered and I like stopped.
22:05
I got to be present. And I found a little golf
22:06
ball. Like it was like a little token of if I
22:09
hadn't been present, I would have missed it.
22:10
Or I've had other times where I'm just so focused
22:13
on whatever I'm doing and like whatever challenges
22:15
are going on. I go on a walk and I see. i see
22:17
like a beautiful yellow bird or i see geese in
22:20
the field or i see a duck in the pond and it
22:22
just like snaps me out of it like those little
22:24
moments of stillness those little moments of
22:26
being present now to like This really isn't that
22:30
big of a deal. I'll actually write another quote
22:33
here. I love this quote. I saw this on someone
22:37
had spray painted on a wall, but it was like,
22:39
you are a ghost driving a meat -coated skeleton
22:42
made from stardust riding on a rock floating
22:45
through space. If you just really zoom out, it's
22:48
like nothing is really that. critical in our
22:51
lives you know what really matters is what are
22:53
you doing now and are you present in this moment
22:55
are you like are you any like i don't know i
22:58
just it is such a true thing that when we start
23:01
getting so bogged down in our life our day -to
23:03
-day what's going on that really if you just
23:06
zoom into this moment right now there's really
23:07
nothing to at the end of the day be that worked
23:11
up about you know before we jump back in can
23:15
i ask you a quick favor if you're enjoying the
23:17
journey so far Will you like rate and subscribe
23:21
to our show? It helps us reach more people like
23:24
you. We can design and create and build the most
23:27
wonderful place in the world, but it takes people
23:30
to make the dream a reality. And I think for
23:35
me, what this highlights is the importance that
23:37
we have of, we do, I mean, we need to have goals,
23:40
right? We need to have things where we're saying
23:41
like, let's get alignment. Yeah. Where, where
23:44
are we wanting to go? Like, what are we wanting
23:46
to accomplish? But you set those out, and then
23:50
you live in the moment. Then you live and be
23:52
present with what you're doing. You're on this
23:54
path. Enjoy this path because it is the path.
23:59
And it's easy for us to do the opposite of that
24:03
on either end, right? Either have no goals, so
24:05
now we're wandering around aimlessly without
24:06
any purpose, which doesn't help either, or we're
24:10
so focused on some goal in the future that we
24:12
forget to take those moments to stop and smell
24:13
the roses. We forget to... appreciate the things
24:17
that are going on and the the great things we
24:20
have or i would say like the blessings that we
24:22
have right absolutely wherever you believe those
24:24
blessings come from that that you have those
24:26
things in your life that can bring you joy what's
24:31
for you what's the difference in finding the
24:35
happiness or joy once that thing comes which
24:38
may end up being hollow Or finding joy in the
24:42
journey. How do you find joy in the journey?
24:45
What does that mean to you? Something I've been
24:47
thinking about is as I've been thinking about
24:50
this podcast and just reflecting on different
24:51
areas of my life, any big accomplishment I have
24:54
when I reminisce, I'm not reminiscing about the
24:57
moment of achieving that accomplishment. I'm
24:59
reminiscing about the process, about what I did,
25:01
what happened, the obstacles we overcame to get
25:04
there. Those are the moments I really think about
25:06
and I really love. It just comes back down to
25:10
that. So that process of like the end is really
25:13
not what's going to be the moment that you feel
25:15
like I'm fixed or I'm whole now. It's like it's
25:18
just finding those like when you reflect back
25:20
on the moments, those are those little things
25:22
when you came together to overcome something.
25:24
Those are the moments that you really look back
25:25
on with the most admiration, the most excitement
25:28
and love and joy that I think I think it really
25:31
matters. But to answer your question about how
25:33
do you do it? I think it does come back down
25:35
to. the presence that like being, being aware
25:37
of the moment and like stopping. And like, it's
25:40
E so easy for us to just float through our days.
25:42
And like, you know, you're driving to and from
25:44
work, you want to work and you're just kind of
25:45
in this zombie mode, autopilot is doing your
25:47
thing. And so. having triggers, whether it's
25:50
like maybe walking through a door that like triggers
25:52
you back to get into, you stand up a little bit
25:54
straighter and you're, you're present or you
25:56
just have little moments that help you come back
25:58
to the present moment, little triggers that I
26:00
think can help you to like really realize like
26:02
how beautiful the day is or what, you know, I
26:04
think there's lots of little moments, but I think
26:07
it comes back down to awareness. Yeah. I love
26:10
that point. And it, it just, it leads right into
26:14
this quote that I found from John Batiste, right?
26:17
who is an amazing musician, obviously Grammy
26:20
Award winner, and wrote, again, much of the music
26:24
for this movie. He's also got a lot of other
26:26
great things out there. Just this morning, I
26:29
actually just happened to come across him. It
26:31
was the next in my lineup of Adam Grant's podcast
26:34
that I listen to because I love it. And he was
26:37
on it with his wife. And it was just like, oh,
26:38
my goodness, this is like the perfect thing for
26:40
me to be listening to this guy. But I got a quote
26:43
from him, and he was talking specifically about
26:45
soul. And he says, Joe Gardner represents many
26:48
of my beliefs about jazz and the way that it
26:50
can take you and the audience to a special place
26:53
tied into our spirit and soul. That's when we're
26:56
tapping into the spark that makes us all unique
26:59
individuals. And so when you're talking about
27:01
like things that kind of take you where you want
27:04
to go and like things that you're stopping and
27:06
recognizing those things, to me, so many times
27:09
art forms can do that for us. When I think about
27:12
like, okay, in the movie. joe's playing right
27:15
and he gets kind of lost in it but so does the
27:17
audience with him and what i really love is like
27:21
everybody has their own art form that they like
27:23
yeah for me for whatever reason it's it's theater
27:26
and it's like live theater like musical theater
27:28
there's just something about it that i can watch
27:31
and just appreciating the talent of the people
27:34
that i'm watching feeling immersed in the story
27:36
and what it's teaching me and what lessons i
27:39
have there What is that art form for you? What's
27:42
the art form that you watch or you see or you
27:45
hear? And it just like really connects to your
27:48
soul. Good question. I think some of the, what
27:51
came to my mind when you were talking, I don't
27:52
know if this is the right answer to the question,
27:53
but I do have experiences when I'm listening
27:56
to music, when I just focus on one instrument.
28:00
of that song or like i really just like kind
28:02
of put everything out and i just i'm listening
28:03
to like the piano and i'm just like zoning into
28:06
the piano or the flute or the violin and like
28:08
just how that and then like maybe i switch and
28:11
i do now i just listen to other aspect of it
28:13
and it's such an interesting experience to do
28:16
that and like have it just like just it's so
28:19
amazing that it's all coming together so perfectly
28:22
like everything's in sync and if if you took
28:25
out the guitar it wouldn't sound the same but
28:27
because they all have their their place there
28:29
it all comes together and it's really fun to
28:31
listen that way so i don't know if that that's
28:33
something that an experience i've had a couple
28:34
times that i really i don't know it's just kind
28:36
of a fun like puts me back in the present moment
28:38
it helps me to appreciate the art that this is
28:40
i think movies can be like that for sure and
28:42
uh those are a couple that jump out to me i i
28:46
think that one of the things that sometimes especially
28:49
we grow older right as we're adults one of the
28:52
things that we sometimes miss is that feeling
28:56
of wonder you know um the wonder that you had
29:00
as you're listening to this instrument and that
29:01
instrument and that it can all come together
29:03
so beautifully and create something beautiful
29:04
and as kids we have it like it's like everything
29:08
new like oh my goodness like this thing is amazing
29:10
i remember walking to disneyland the first time
29:11
like this feeling of wonderment oh my goodness
29:13
this is unbelievable And as we get older, if
29:17
we lose that, I think we lose some of the joy
29:19
in life. I think we lose some of the joy of living.
29:21
But if we can remind ourselves of that and then
29:23
take those moments and be like, I'm going to
29:25
listen to this song. I like this. I love doing
29:27
this. I love what this is like. I just think
29:30
it brings some more of that joy as we're experiencing
29:33
life. Yeah, you reminded me of a book I read
29:36
recently called The Art of Spending Money. from
29:39
Morgan Housel, super great book. But he shared
29:41
this experience with this man who was blind his
29:43
whole life. He's like up to his forties and he'd
29:47
had a surgery where he could then see, and he
29:50
was in the hospital and he was freaking out because
29:52
of the carpet. He's like, that's blue. Like,
29:55
are you kidding me? Like, how are you people
29:57
just like going about your days when this carpet
29:58
is in this room? And he like, he just was seeing
30:00
the carpet. And I like, it just hit me so hard.
30:03
Yeah, like, there's those little moments, and
30:04
you can imagine, like, how it was when we went
30:06
outside and saw the sky and saw, like, all these
30:08
things for the first time. Anyway, I just love
30:11
that experience and, you know, the wonderment.
30:14
I think that's one of the beautiful things about
30:15
having kids. Yes. Because I think it helps to
30:19
remind us of that sometimes when we get really
30:23
busy and we have a lot of things going. You know,
30:26
I can just think about just in the last couple
30:28
of weeks, right? You know, my youngest daughter,
30:31
who's six. We've had her join this little choir.
30:34
She's getting singing lessons, which is so odd
30:37
for our family because I can't sing at all. My
30:40
other three kids, maybe it's hidden and we don't
30:42
know, but I don't think they can either. But
30:44
she's shown this like inclination to be able
30:45
to sing. And it just so happened to be this new
30:47
neighborhood we moved into had this lady who
30:49
teaches singing lessons and has this great little
30:51
choir. And we're going to her first performance,
30:54
right? And she gets to sing. It's a single line,
30:57
right? Two bars, a single line, a solo. this
31:01
choir and just just having this wonder about
31:04
her being able to do it and this joy that I feel
31:07
and seeing her have so much joy in doing it you
31:10
know and it's like those moments in life are
31:14
in my mind that's part of what we're talking
31:16
about here of like building your life of fulfillment
31:19
and happiness right it's not because she's gonna
31:24
go win some award doing it It's because she's
31:27
actually really loved doing the singing thing,
31:29
and her teacher's been able to unlock in her
31:31
her voice, which is so cool. So now she's not
31:34
so shy to sing. Now she's willing to, and she's
31:37
willing to do it in front of this audience. And
31:40
those moments bring me back to living in the
31:46
moment, living in the present moment. feeling
31:49
those feelings of being fulfilled, even when
31:52
I have other things that are sometimes stressing
31:54
me. It was so nice because that particular day,
31:57
it was a pretty hard day at work, right? And
32:02
I had a pretty hard week that prior week. But
32:06
that all went away. It's like, I don't know.
32:08
Life's actually really great. I can deal with
32:10
those things when I get back to the office. I
32:12
will have to, but I don't have to let it dominate
32:15
my thoughts and my feelings. What do you do to
32:18
shake yourself out of it if you're in that situation
32:20
that we all sometimes find ourselves in where
32:22
we aren't living in the moment? We're Joe Gardner,
32:27
and we're like, oh, my life is meaningless. What's
32:29
the point? Oh, it's horrible. I'm not getting
32:31
what I want. What do you do to shake yourself
32:33
out of it? I have found that being in nature,
32:37
you know, like I was kind of sharing some experiences
32:39
going on walks. Like I remember being really
32:41
bogged down with work stuff. I went on a walk
32:43
and I just saw all these geese in the field were
32:45
just eating. And it made me think about, you
32:47
know, the scriptures of, about God, you know,
32:50
he, he takes care of the fowls in the field.
32:52
Like how much more does he not care about and
32:53
love you? uh if he's willing to feed them and
32:56
like i was like all these birds just going about
32:58
their lives just find their worms they're just
33:00
doing their thing and all i'm doing is going
33:01
about my life finding my worm like why am i getting
33:03
so worked up about that so i feel like nature
33:05
has a way of snapping me back out i love going
33:07
into the mountains going to hike and just seeing
33:09
the vista just seeing like i am in one tiny little
33:12
section of the whole world and this little section
33:14
is beautiful but if i really zoom out this place
33:16
is so big there is so much going on here And
33:20
it just helps me to get perspective on like,
33:22
if I'm really so zoomed into what I'm working
33:24
on and what I'm, you know, what I'm focused on
33:27
that, like backing things up, seeing some beautiful
33:29
things, a beautiful site and just realizing my
33:32
place in the world and just trying to influence
33:34
things and do the best I can. That's really all
33:35
I can ask myself. So I think there's been a couple
33:38
of things that. Whether sometimes I try to intentionally
33:41
put myself into it or God or I have an experience
33:44
that just helps me to snap back out of this funk
33:47
that I'm in. I feel like I've been grateful to
33:49
have those moments in my life. Have you ever
33:52
had an experience where things were really hard?
33:57
Have you experienced a really big trial in your
34:00
life that was something that was pretty tough,
34:05
pretty dark, pretty difficult? And if so, what...
34:08
What did that journey out of that look like?
34:11
Yeah, it's a good question. I definitely haven't
34:13
had, like, when I was in seventh, eighth grade,
34:16
I had a really good friend of mine pass away
34:18
from cancer, and that was a moment that was,
34:19
yeah, that was. That young. Yeah, Jaden Lambert,
34:24
shout out to Jaden. He was amazing and had some
34:26
really beautiful experiences with him and just
34:29
like reflecting on that. What came to my mind,
34:31
I guess, like a bit of, I don't know, this is
34:35
a different take on maybe your question, but.
34:37
So I did door -to -door sales for three years
34:39
selling pest control, and that's a hard gig.
34:42
I had to remember my third summer. I was always
34:45
good. I was good at selling, and I was always
34:47
successful. And so I did it for three summers.
34:49
My third summer was in Austin, Texas, selling
34:51
pest control, and I was running a team with my
34:53
friend. And I had kind of set this goal. Like,
34:56
in pest control sales, if you can sell 1 ,000
34:59
contracts, that's kind of like the gold standard.
35:02
Like, you're elite, you know? And I had, I was
35:04
like dabbling up, should I go for a thousand?
35:06
I don't know. And so my first, I'm like, I'm
35:08
going to go for a thousand. Why not? Uh, my first
35:10
day I go and I'm knocking and I like barely get
35:14
one, right? Like I just get, I sell this one
35:16
Hispanic, I spoke Spanish, my mission. So I sold
35:18
this like one spent like family speaking Spanish.
35:20
I remember going back to my farm. I, my family
35:22
hadn't made it to. Austin. Yeah. And I go up
35:25
to the apartment. I just like I'm just like laying
35:26
on the ground, like, you know, I kind of overwhelmed
35:29
by that goal, overwhelmed by my performance and
35:33
just like really feeling like, what am I doing?
35:36
And so I did like a little meditation, just laying
35:39
on the ground and talking to I had hired a coach
35:41
that year to help me work through some things.
35:43
And. Anyway, just kind of changing my goal and
35:47
got to 500. Anyway, it was a whole thing, but
35:49
I remember that moment of being just like so
35:51
overwhelmed and so burdened, but then contrast
35:54
that with reaching the goal. I ended up changing
35:56
my goal to 500, reaching that goal, getting through
35:59
it, showing up every day, chopping wood, carrying
36:01
water, and then, yeah, achieving that was kind
36:04
of a special moment of kind of coming through.
36:07
But anyway, that was what jumped into my mind
36:09
with that question. So that, I mean, that kind
36:12
of brings to my mind a couple other questions
36:13
I have for you then. So, you know, in life, early
36:16
on in this conversation, we're talking about,
36:18
like, sometimes, you know, we're going down a
36:19
certain path and life takes a different direction.
36:23
And it's not necessarily a bad thing, right?
36:25
And so kind of what I've heard is, like, you
36:26
had this one where, like, it was going to be
36:28
1 ,000, but in reality, like, it ended up being
36:29
500. And that was the right goal because of what
36:32
it was there and what you could accomplish and
36:34
what you were doing. You had this great podcast,
36:37
right? And then at some point in time, you guys
36:39
decided to stop doing the podcast. And so life
36:41
took you in a different direction. What guidance
36:44
would you have for people when you're trying
36:47
to experience the joy and find the fulfillment
36:49
in life, and sometimes that means you've got
36:51
to make a change? Yeah, that's a good question.
36:56
I think making any changes in your life, I found
37:00
a lot of... I don't know exactly how to put this,
37:06
but just in talking and counseling with my wife,
37:09
I found so much wisdom from her and being able
37:12
to come to her with challenges I'm going through
37:15
or like just being able to have someone to counsel
37:17
with. Oh, that's yeah. That's the other apparent,
37:20
the Lord. I feel like in making those decisions
37:22
has been, and even journaling, I feel like journaling
37:24
too and getting those thoughts down have been
37:27
so impactful to really help. me pinpoint the
37:30
direction we need to go and like hey if we're
37:32
feeling like we need to change this like so for
37:34
that goal of going from a thousand it was counseling
37:36
with that coach i'd hired he's like hey mission
37:38
1000 could still be on the board but let's go
37:40
through mission 500 first like let's hit 500
37:42
first and then when i chose that 500 it was that
37:45
weight lifted off like i don't have to sell 10
37:47
every day like i can just go out there and be
37:48
my best and show up and not have this pressure
37:51
not have the stress and be able to refine that
37:53
um and so i really think that journaling counseling
37:57
with others you know taking it to the lord in
37:59
prayer i think are some of the most helpful things
38:01
to help you make those big shifts that you need
38:03
to make in your life at times you know yeah and
38:04
and you bring up an interesting one which um
38:07
i find very difficult for myself to do which
38:09
is journaling and the reason i say it's interesting
38:12
is um in that podcast that i was listening to
38:14
with john batiste and his wife they both do it
38:17
religiously and not only do they do it individually
38:21
they actually journal together that's amazing
38:23
which is actually Kind of cool. I'd never heard
38:26
of that idea before. They explained that we're
38:28
basically like in their own journal, they'll
38:31
write a letter to the other and then they'll
38:34
send a picture every day to each other of it.
38:37
That's amazing. And they just both said that
38:39
like both individually journaling, you start
38:42
understanding things about yourself by doing
38:45
that. And then when you have that moment to write
38:48
that letter to your spouse, it's the same thing.
38:50
You express things there. that you just may not
38:53
have taken the time or not even realized to express
38:55
to your spouse in another way. And it really
38:58
unlocks something, right, in journaling. It's
39:01
like got me all thinking, okay, I'm not going
39:03
to go talk to my wife tonight. I'll be like,
39:04
okay, honey, we can start journaling together.
39:06
I might not be able to make it happen, right?
39:08
I might not be able to. But there is something
39:11
that gets unlocked in you when you journal for
39:14
you to be able to think through and process through
39:16
the things that are happening. It allows you
39:18
to think about the way that you're processing
39:20
things. Adam Grant and Brene Brown call it thinking
39:24
about thinking, right? Like metacognition. So
39:27
you do more of that when you journal, and then
39:30
you can start to reshape the way that you see
39:33
things, the way that you see life, and start
39:35
to see it as more of the process of becoming
39:39
as opposed to just the end destination. So in
39:44
the movie... We've already kind of talked about
39:46
it, but I want to get this as we kind of fill
39:48
out this arc. One of the things that Joe ends
39:54
up saying to 22 is a spark isn't your purpose.
39:59
Your spark comes when you're ready to start living.
40:03
Because 22 kept waiting for what is my spark?
40:05
What's that thing going to be that I have to
40:07
have? And then Jerry, is it Jerry? Like all the
40:10
Jerrys had told Joe, like, no, no, no. Like you
40:13
said, like, no, no, no. Spark isn't your purpose.
40:15
You totally don't understand what a spark means
40:16
at all. And he has to go through that experience
40:18
to start understanding what it means. And then
40:20
he communicates that to 22 and kind of unable
40:22
to unlock that for her. So for you, as we're
40:25
kind of coming through that arc there, you know,
40:28
what's your insight there? A spark isn't your
40:30
purpose. A spark comes when you're ready to start
40:32
living. What's your insight there? Yeah, it's
40:35
a good, I don't know. I don't. Well, I guess
40:38
I don't know if this answers that question. One
40:39
of my favorite moments in the movie is early
40:42
on when you're watching and again Joe dies and
40:44
he sees like the vision of his life and there's
40:47
a scene in the vision where he's eating pie and
40:49
it just he just like it's so it looks all dark
40:52
and he's like my life is meaningless and he has
40:54
that moment and then when he then has his realization
40:58
at the end when he's playing the piano and he's
41:00
reflecting like all the moments of his life that
41:02
really made his life like meaningful. um when
41:05
he realized that like moments with his uh with
41:07
his dad yeah he's playing the piano he's playing
41:09
the piano and you can see his dad's older and
41:11
he's just like yeah loving yes being in that
41:14
moment with yeah well yeah exactly he's with
41:17
his dad he's like riding his bike and he's enjoying
41:19
the sun he's with his mom after his dad passed
41:21
away and like they have their feet in the in
41:23
the water and then he has the moment of him eating
41:25
that pie and it's like it wasn't a meaningless
41:28
moment because the pie was was so delicious like
41:30
it was it was he like really savored it and like
41:32
it's just so interesting that In one context,
41:35
that was a meaningless moment for him. Afterwards,
41:39
when he's reflecting, it was actually a very
41:40
meaningful, significant moment in his life. I
41:43
think it's such a powerful thing that you can
41:45
find that meaning or that spark really in anything
41:47
in your life. It can be watching the sky. It
41:49
can be walking. It can be just having a bite
41:51
of pie. I think that's one of my favorite moments
41:53
of that. It's subtle, but I think it's a really
41:55
beautiful scene. And I love the reframe. Yeah.
41:58
Because initially when he only sees it through
42:01
the lens of the spark has to be me playing the
42:04
piano and doing it, not just playing it, but
42:06
being in a jazz band and being successful. That's
42:10
where it is all seen through that lens, literally
42:13
in this case, because the lens makes it like
42:14
darker. It's such a nice representation, right?
42:17
But in reality, he did experience those. And
42:19
when he reframes that, those meanings were actually
42:23
there and he did experience them. He just needs
42:25
to reframe it and see it differently. And I think
42:28
what it highlights for us is sometimes that's
42:29
what it is, that the reset we need to have ends
42:32
up becoming a reframe. We reset so that we can
42:34
reframe the way that we're seeing things in life
42:36
and seeing them with more meaning and with more
42:39
purpose, appreciating the things that we have,
42:41
which is kind of really done in a really beautiful
42:43
way, that movie. Okay, so we're going to come
42:48
back to the three actionable takeaways that we're
42:50
going to have you share, okay? Cool. Three things
42:52
people can do to find more fulfillment and more...
42:57
living more happiness now as opposed to having
43:00
to wait to some end goal. But before we get there,
43:01
we're going to have two fun segments, okay? Cool.
43:03
So the first is this or that, okay? So as we
43:06
always say, like, be prepared to defend your
43:10
controversial picks or this or that, okay? First
43:13
one, 22 or moon wind? I like 22. Yeah. Yeah.
43:20
Just, like, her whole journey and just coming
43:23
to the conclusion I like 22. Part of it, too,
43:25
because it's Tina Fey. Yeah, yeah. Right? Like,
43:27
who doesn't love Tina Fey? She had all the funny
43:28
moments. She's so great. Like, the Knicks thing,
43:30
you know? I love Tina Fey. Okay, Manhattan or
43:34
Central Park? Oof. So we lived in Long Island
43:38
for a little while, and my experience of Central
43:42
Park was we went there. It was beautiful. We
43:44
ran some bikes. We were biking around. Right
43:46
when it got dark, dude, it got so sketchy. All
43:48
these people started coming out, weed everywhere.
43:50
We're like, we've got to get out of here. So
43:52
I'll probably go Manhattan on that one just because
43:55
of that experience with Central Park. Which is
43:57
good for me because I've been to Central Park
43:59
a number of times, but it's always been in the
44:03
morning or during the day. I've never been at
44:05
night. It surprised us. We were like, oh, wow.
44:08
Yeah, avoid it at night is what I'm hearing.
44:10
I still love Central Park, so I'll keep that
44:13
by avoiding it at night. Okay. Jazz club or concert
44:19
hall? Probably jazz club. I think just because
44:25
of my affinity for soul. Just having that experience
44:27
at a jazz club. And that little vibe. Yeah. Okay,
44:29
so this is right along with that. Piano or saxophone?
44:32
Piano. Do you play the piano? I did play the
44:35
piano growing up. I'm not good. I've tried twice
44:39
now. I got Simply Piano, that app, to try to
44:41
teach it. I've done it twice, but I haven't really
44:43
stuck with it either time. So one day I will.
44:46
So you can maybe dabble a little bit? I'd love
44:48
to be able to. But that's something I can really
44:50
admire, the piano and people, just how they're
44:52
doing it. It's just incredible. When I see somebody
44:54
play, especially somebody highly skilled, it's
44:57
just like I just sit there and wonder and awe.
45:00
My goodness. There's so much talent and skill
45:04
and hard work that goes into that person getting
45:07
to that point where they can do that. Yeah, it's
45:09
amazing. New York City or New Orleans? New York
45:16
City. I have ties to New Orleans. My dad's family
45:21
lives in Louisiana, so we go to Louisiana pretty
45:24
often. You'll take New York City. Yeah, but I
45:27
think just because I lived in Long Island, New
45:29
York City. Yeah, I do like both cities, but I'd
45:32
swing a little bit towards New York. Okay, well,
45:34
so this might make it a tougher question this
45:36
next one, okay? New York pizza or home -cooked
45:40
meal? I kind of lean towards New York pizza.
45:46
Pizza's so good. It's so good. There's so many
45:48
good joints. My favorite experience eating, though,
45:50
was we went to a bagel joint in New York. And,
45:53
like, they just had so many words I didn't even
45:55
know. I was like, you can do this with bagels?
45:57
Like, they were going off, dude. We were like,
45:58
what? It was crazy. But it was good. Like a little
46:01
hole -in -the -wall bagel. I'm going to throw
46:03
one on the fly then. So New York pizza or New
46:05
York bagel? Pizza. I mean, pizza is still elite.
46:08
I mean, it's still amazing, right? Like, it's
46:10
amazing. But a New York bagel for me, and I don't
46:14
know why it is, and nobody can really explain
46:17
why. New York bagels are just better than bagels
46:19
in any other place. I don't know why. They're
46:21
unbelievable. Unbelievable. I eat them all the
46:25
time when I'm there. I can't do gluten really.
46:28
I can take a gluten pill to make me not as sick.
46:32
And I take a lot of gluten pills in New York
46:34
City because it's the pizza and the bagels. So
46:35
I'm constantly taking these pills to try to minimize
46:38
the impact of this gluten because it's so good.
46:40
So good. Okay. Window seat or aisle seat? Window.
46:44
Okay, your window guy. You like to look out the
46:46
window? I do like to look out the window. It
46:47
is like, the aisle's nice because I'm long. You
46:50
know, I need leg room. But I think I lean towards
46:52
the window. See, I'm aisle all the way because
46:55
of that. I just, I want to be able to stretch
46:57
my legs. And also, I'm the kind of, I hate to
47:00
inconvenience somebody. I hate it so much. And
47:04
so, if I can be in the aisle, if I got to go
47:07
to the bathroom, I feel like I can. When I'm
47:08
in the middle seat of the window, I will hold
47:11
it that whole flight unless I am about to lose
47:13
it. Because I do not want to make them get up.
47:17
Especially if you have to go twice. It's like
47:19
a three -hour flight. You have to get up once.
47:21
You can do once, but you can't get up again.
47:22
Now you're cooked. And look, I'm over 40, and
47:26
I've got to go to the bathroom a lot. It's just
47:28
a reality. As you get older, you will find out
47:31
in 15 years. You'll find out eventually. Okay,
47:34
Disneyland or Disney World? Disneyland, actually.
47:37
We went to Disney World just last year, and I
47:39
was like, I think Disneyland is better. They
47:41
had way more churros than Disneyland. Yes, a
47:45
lot more. A lot more churros. I feel like the
47:47
food generally was better. Epcot was the exception.
47:49
Epcot had really cool food. That's exactly right.
47:51
I feel like Disneyland is more concentrated.
47:54
There's two parks. You get everything in two
47:55
parks versus Disney World. You have the four,
47:58
and it's all kind of spread out. And some parks
47:59
are better. I feel like the two main parks in
48:01
Disney World don't equal the two main parks in
48:03
Disneyland. So I think Disneyland takes the edge.
48:05
Disneyland for me as well. I do love me some
48:08
Epcot. Yeah, Epcot is cool. All the Disney world,
48:11
like Epcot, I really have an affinity for now.
48:13
The food is great. The rides are terrific. It's
48:16
just something that's totally different, right?
48:18
But yeah, Disneyland's amazing. Okay, movie theater
48:21
or movie at home? I do love going to the theater.
48:24
Just the whole experience of the theater. You're
48:26
giving yourself a two -hour little, I'm just
48:30
escaping. I'm going to see The Mandalorian tonight
48:32
with my brother. Today? Today. Does it come out?
48:35
I think it's like a little early. My realtor,
48:38
he's hooking us up. Oh, man, you are getting
48:39
hooked up. Oh, that should be a fun one. I'm
48:42
excited. It's always going to be fun. I love
48:43
the series on Disney+. It's amazing. Okay, here's
48:46
a rapid fire, okay? So just first one that comes
48:49
to mind. Cool. Okay? Favorite Disney movie? Soul.
48:53
Favorite? I think it's our favorite. I think
48:54
it's our favorite. Love that. Favorite Disney
48:56
song? Hakuna Matata. It's just as soon as you
49:01
hear it. Oh, 100%. I feel like whoever sings
49:05
for Simba all the time, dude, he's got pipes.
49:08
So it's amazing. Oh, yeah, both the kid version
49:09
and the adult version. Yeah, that's true. Favorite
49:12
Disney princess? Mulan. I think Mulan's the GOAT,
49:15
and I don't think it's close. She's rad. She's
49:18
the best. Like, I just rewatched it for an episode
49:20
that we recorded, and I'm watching it again.
49:22
I'm just like, man, I love this movie. 100%.
49:24
She is so great. Great songs. Mulan is awesome.
49:27
Yeah. Yeah, that one's... Yeah, I love her. Favorite
49:30
Disney villain? I think this is a loophole, but
49:35
Wreck -It Ralph. Okay, because he is. In the
49:38
game, he is absolutely the villain. There is
49:40
no question he's the villain, and all he wants
49:43
to do is have a hero's journey. He wants to be
49:45
a hero. He's so lovable. Before Soul came out,
49:47
Wreck -It Ralph was my favorite Disney movie.
49:49
I like that loophole. We have a tie too. Cause
49:51
my, um, my, when I was on mutual, when I met
49:54
my wife, my quote was like Brecker Ralph's quote.
49:56
It's like, I'm not, I forget. I always forget.
49:58
It's like, I'm not good. That's, that's not good.
50:01
Anyway, but he's like, there's no one rather
50:02
be than me. And like, that was my quote in my
50:04
bio. And that's my wife had a quote and that's
50:06
how we connected. So amazing. I love that actually.
50:09
Uh, favorite Disney treat, which actually is,
50:13
I'm glad I asked this because you just talked
50:14
about liking the food. Yeah. Yeah. I think, uh,
50:16
I'm a sucker for, like some candied almonds or
50:20
something, like those cinnamon, sugar, almond.
50:23
Those are amazing. I thought you were going to
50:25
go churro. Churros, I mean, yeah. I was trying
50:27
to be different. I was trying to stand out a
50:29
little bit. I want to, but I can't. Because when
50:31
I go, I just want to have a churro. And there's
50:35
no other food there that I'm just like, I have
50:37
to have a churro. Other things I love. There's
50:40
plenty of things like that. Macarons, when they
50:43
have them, unbelievable. Candied almonds are
50:45
great. Corn dogs there are really delicious.
50:48
You've got to get the jumbo turkey leg. Oh, yeah.
50:50
But churro is what I was coming back to. Yeah,
50:52
churro is amazing. One's just never enough either.
50:54
It's dangerous. Whenever I go on, my wife's always
50:57
like, well, you want to just get a couple and
50:58
we'll all share. I'm like, nobody in this family
51:00
wants to share. We're getting six. We're getting
51:02
six. Everyone's going to have their own, and
51:04
everyone's going to eat every bite of it. And
51:06
if somebody doesn't, guess who's going to finish
51:07
it? I am. Favorite musician? Favorite musician?
51:13
Wow. I don't know. I feel like being in basketball,
51:26
rap is kind of a big rap guy. Totally. So I think
51:31
Eminem was one that I was just like, I don't
51:32
know. I feel like he was in his prime when I
51:35
was young. So I kind of always admired him. Whenever
51:37
he drops a new album, I'm always like, I just
51:39
love his whole journey. Anyway, his whole ride
51:42
is so interesting. I like J. Cole quite a bit.
51:45
He's kind of more... relatable, you know? I don't
51:48
even know who he is. I'm going to go with Eminem.
51:52
Yeah, go with Eminem. Eminem. All right, Slim
51:56
Shady. Favorite book? Favorite book? I think
51:59
the book that, one of the books that made the
52:01
biggest impact on me was Stillness is the Key,
52:03
Ryan Holiday, which hits a lot of the same principles
52:05
of soul and kind of ties things together just
52:08
about, yeah, just finding presence and living
52:11
a meaningful life and it doesn't always come
52:13
down to the big accomplishment. you know, how
52:15
you define success. Yeah. Okay. Then the last,
52:17
the last rapid fire, this might not be so rapid.
52:20
We'll see. We'll see. What is your number one
52:22
piece of marriage advice to people engaged to
52:26
be married? What's the number one thing you would
52:27
tell somebody who is engaged? I think my number
52:30
one thing is get marriage checklist. Like honestly,
52:35
get. get deep before you get married. I'm like,
52:37
get deep. Talk about your communication. I was
52:39
talking about finance. I want sexual intimacy.
52:41
Talk about all these different areas of your
52:43
life that are going to, that you're going to
52:44
be like combining together. It's a big move that
52:46
you're making. And so get on the same page and
52:49
just have those conversations and see each other
52:51
in those different lights. Work through that.
52:54
Like I'd say like we had, we'd always, when we
52:56
had our podcast, we had a whole checklist. There's
52:58
like. you know, 50 to 60 questions and people
53:00
are always hitting us up and we're sending it
53:01
out to people. And I feel like that's one of
53:04
the biggest things that will just help you just
53:06
to have a good foundation, have some deep conversations
53:08
and help you move on into a married life. Love
53:13
it. Okay. So to wrap up two things I want to
53:16
get from you, any kind of final thoughts about
53:19
the topic or the movie and then move into your
53:22
three actual takeaways. Yeah. Final thoughts.
53:27
I took some notes. I thought you would. I could
53:29
tell. I was like, he's got some more to say that
53:31
I haven't asked him. And I definitely want to
53:32
give a runway for that. Yeah. I don't know if
53:34
I have any other big ones. I really, I guess
53:41
I'll end with this. One of my favorite scriptures
53:44
in the New Testament is the book of Luke, where
53:48
Jesus says, fear not little flock. It is in your
53:51
father's good pleasure to give you the kingdom.
53:53
And I think that's such a beautiful. moment in
53:57
the scriptures and just idea that it's like,
53:59
I think too often we get worked up about things
54:02
in our lives and we're so going about doing all
54:05
these little things we feel like are so important.
54:07
And, um, I just really, at the end of the day,
54:10
like just going about just being your best, showing
54:13
up every day, trying to be present, trying to
54:15
serve others. I think that's one of my favorite
54:17
takeaways and something that would really hit
54:18
me. I just watched soul again yesterday to kind
54:19
of prep for this, but, um, it was just like,
54:22
you got to get out of your side of yourself and
54:23
serve others and try to find ways to make impact
54:26
in their people's lives. Cause it's so easy for
54:27
us to become so selfish and just be thinking
54:29
about ourselves all the time. Um, but getting
54:31
outside of that and trying to serve someone else.
54:33
And ideally your spouse, like that we're talking
54:35
about, this is like, and that kind of, I guess,
54:36
takes me into a takeaway is like finding a moment
54:40
to serve someone close to you. Ideally your spouse,
54:43
if you're married, if not, you know, a family
54:44
member, whoever that goes outside of what you
54:47
normally. do you know and and serve them and
54:50
think about them and try to take someone off
54:51
their plate i think that's a great lesson from
54:53
seoul and just a great lesson uh for life you
54:55
know for sure so first actual takeaway is obviously
54:57
find something this week yeah to serve somebody
55:02
else in a way that's outside what you would normally
55:05
do yeah a great one yeah give me two more um
55:08
number two you are you blue i don't know if your
55:10
kids are old enough for bluey absolutely okay
55:12
okay blue is amazing blue is amazing i love blue
55:14
oh yeah it's incredible i've seen i my kids are
55:16
right in the blue age i've seen like i've said
55:17
like 10 times but uh i i think finding a moment
55:21
to Find beauty and find stillness and I think
55:25
I remember that episode we watched a day was
55:28
When the dad bandit is having like his he's pretending
55:31
to be alive for the very first time He likes
55:33
he's a leaf and he's like this leaf is amazing
55:36
like zooms in it's just this moment and so I
55:38
feel like just inviting people to find that in
55:41
your life whether it's the sunrise, the sunset,
55:43
or it's the mountain. Like, we're surrounded.
55:45
These mountains are incredible. You see these
55:46
mountains in the morning? Like, it's amazing.
55:47
Or even at sunset. Like, just find a moment and
55:50
just, like, take it in and just appreciate. Or
55:52
it's listening to a song or watching a movie.
55:53
Like, that is incredible. And just appreciating
55:56
that and letting that bring you into stillness,
55:57
into the present moment. I'm going to call it
56:00
find a moment of wonder this week. That's our
56:04
number two. Love it. Okay. What's our number
56:06
three? Number three, I wrote it down. Let me
56:08
pull it up. Let me see what my third one was.
56:11
Oh, I guess my third one is kind of the same
56:13
idea, but just, like, not taking being so seriously.
56:18
You know, like, zooming out a little bit and,
56:20
like, even laughing. I remember something, like,
56:22
when doing door -to -door sales. Like, whenever
56:25
we'd get an objection, I would just have the
56:27
biggest smile. Like, they're like, oh, yeah,
56:29
I'm going to talk to my wife. Just, like, biggest
56:31
smile. Like, just, like, rolling with the punches
56:35
and just smiling and laughing through them. I
56:36
think it's just, like, the best way to live,
56:38
you know? So my third one is. I think that's
56:41
a great one. So number three would be sometime
56:44
this week when you face maybe something that's
56:46
difficult or hard, try to take it on with a smile
56:51
on your face. I like that. Because everybody's
56:54
going to have something hard. Like every week
56:56
we do. Even if it's something small that's hard,
56:58
it's still something that's hard or it's a trial
56:59
or it's an objection. But if we can encounter
57:02
that moment and say, no, I got this, and that
57:04
smile helps to remind us, like, I got this. This
57:07
is not that big a deal. I can do this. It's going
57:09
to be fine. I think that's a great one. Love
57:11
it. Love it. Well, Nate Dogg, Nate the Great,
57:16
Hoop, Hooper, Hoopster, Hoop Dogg? Hoop Daddy.
57:20
Hoop Daddy. That was my favorite one, Hoop Daddy.
57:22
It's been a pleasure visiting with you. Some
57:25
great things we talked about for a wonderful
57:27
movie, and I think there's some things that people
57:29
can put into place this week. We find a little
57:31
bit more joy this week. We find a little bit
57:33
more spark. in the desire to find fulfillment,
57:40
find success, find happiness in the moments we
57:44
have today. Thanks, brother. Thanks, Ryan. Appreciate
57:46
it. As you leave this conversation, remember
57:50
that yes, the past can hurt and you can either
57:53
run from it or you can learn from it. So here's
57:56
to learning and finding joy in the journey. See
58:00
you real soon.