Latest / ok storytime / My best friend of 23 years CHEATED on his wife…so I cut him off! -r/AITAH | Reddit Stories | EP3073

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My best friend of 23 years CHEATED on his wife…so I cut him off! -r/AITAH | Reddit Stories | EP3073 · ok storytime

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Hey, this is Dakota.
• 0:01
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• 0:10
  Speaker 3: My best friend of 23 years cheated on his wife,
• 0:13
  Speaker 3: so I cut him off. Oh, cut it out. My
• 0:18
  Speaker 3: friend 39 male and I, 38 female, have known each
• 0:21
  Speaker 3: other since our teenage years. We've had a variety of
• 0:24
  Speaker 3: dynamics throughout the years, but recently I felt like I've
• 0:27
  Speaker 3: outgrown him. He married a woman he says is the
• 0:29
  Speaker 3: love of his life. She's beautiful, smart, feminine, and fashionable.
• 0:33
  Speaker 3: She's a trophy, which he's always valued above all else.
• 0:37
  Speaker 3: Think performative, cishet male with mild anti-c** behavior. Okay, at
• 0:44
  Speaker 3: least it's mild. Just a little bit of closet garden-ness.
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  Speaker 3: He's like, yeah, get them away from me, but I'm
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  Speaker 3: a supporter. I don't want them near me. They should
• 0:55
  Speaker 3: have rights, though. That's insane to say. In 2025, I
• 0:59
  Speaker 3: attended their wedding. And prior to attending, he had disclosed
• 1:03
  Speaker 3: to me that he was putting away his childish and
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  Speaker 3: lustful behavior of being a womanizer. Sorry. At his wedding?
• 1:10
  Speaker 3: On his wedding day, he was putting it away? I mean,
• 1:12
  Speaker 3: what a great day to do that. Could have done
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  Speaker 3: it maybe when he started the relationship. Nope.
• 1:17
  Speaker 4: Okay.
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  Speaker 3: He claimed to have grown up. And I thought it
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  Speaker 3: was commendable. I feel like when you say that you've
• 1:23
  Speaker 3: grown up, you haven't, you know?
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  Speaker 5: Have you grown up?
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  Speaker 6: No.
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  Speaker 5: Have you grown up?
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  Speaker 3: I'll never grow up.
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  Speaker 5: I'm a child.
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  Speaker 3: See, that feels a lot more trustworthy. I'm a child.
• 1:35
  Speaker 3: Trust me. Trust me. I'm a child. Until you fast
• 1:38
  Speaker 3: forward to the summer when he and his friends were
• 1:40
  Speaker 3: having a boy trip in my city to attend an
• 1:42
  Speaker 3: event one weekend. He calls me up for brunch and
• 1:45
  Speaker 3: tells me that I can't be judging or preaching and
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  Speaker 3: that I need to be one of the boys if
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  Speaker 3: I'm going to come out with them. I hate that.
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  Speaker 3: I agree and go along. Not only did he and
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  Speaker 3: his friends ogle, I mean, I did too, every attractive
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  Speaker 3: woman in the establishment, but he even left his wedding
• 2:00
  Speaker 3: band at home and decided to pursue a really beautiful woman. Immediately,
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  Speaker 3: I'm like, I'm leaving.
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  Speaker 2: Wow.
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  Speaker 3: I'm telling the girl. I'm immediately. I tell him I'm
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  Speaker 3: telling the girl. I go, what are you doing?
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  Speaker 1: I would go.
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  Speaker 3: Oh, my God. I'm on FaceTime with it.
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  Speaker 6: Say hi.
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  Speaker 3: That's so funny. Oh, my God. Is that your wife?
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  Speaker 3: Because it doesn't look like her. Wow. Didn't you just
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  Speaker 3: get married? Where's your wedding ring? Yeah, I go up
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  Speaker 3: while he's flirting with the girl. I go, oh, my God.
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  Speaker 3: I have your wife on the call. Bought her and
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  Speaker 3: her friend's drinks. Flirted. And not sure if they exchanged numbers.
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  Speaker 3: I just know his wife wouldn't approve of the conduct.
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  Speaker 3: According to him, he was honest when they were dating,
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  Speaker 3: but she told them if they were to be together seriously,
• 2:40
  Speaker 3: that she needed monogamy and commitment more or less. More
• 2:44
  Speaker 3: or less! By the way, this comes from EctoGammit, and
• 2:49
  Speaker 3: if you want to submit your own stories, go to
• 2:50
  Speaker 3: the r slash okay story time subreddit. I'm Sophia. I'm Savannah.
• 2:54
  Speaker 5: I'm Keon.
• 2:55
  Speaker 3: And we're here to give good advice goofily, but we
• 2:56
  Speaker 3: don't have all the answers. We only know what we'd do.
• 2:59
  Speaker 3: So let us know what you would do in the comments.
• 3:00
  Speaker 3: And Opie says, I didn't say anything to him about
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  Speaker 3: his behavior because I agreed to be one of the boys. Opie.
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  Speaker 3: But knowing the disregard he has for his union and
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  Speaker 3: the woman who gave him a child. Whoa.
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  Speaker 1: Oh, wow.
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  Speaker 4: Whoa.
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  Speaker 5: Like, what kind of child?
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  Speaker 3: I just can't get down with that kind of behavior.
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  Speaker 3: This especially hit home with me because I was ethically
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  Speaker 3: non-monogamous in my last relationship and truly value honesty and
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  Speaker 3: consideration above all else. Would I be an a-hole to
• 3:27
  Speaker 3: actively tell him I wanted to solve our friendship? Should
• 3:30
  Speaker 3: I just ignore him and let him stop communicating? He's
• 3:33
  Speaker 3: not someone who I would think would learn from or
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  Speaker 3: gain insight or consider changing. just because I choose to
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  Speaker 3: hold him accountable. But I don't want that kind of
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  Speaker 3: man in my life, because I don't want his karma
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  Speaker 3: rubbing off on me. What do you think Opie should
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  Speaker 3: do here? Uh, tell the wife. Yeah, it doesn't seem like...
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  Speaker 3: I would want to know.
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  Speaker 6: It doesn't seem like that's on Opie's option, like one
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  Speaker 6: of Opie's options at all. Yeah, which is really weird.
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  Speaker 6: I mean, I guess she's friends with this guy and
• 3:57
  Speaker 6: not the girl.
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  Speaker 3: But if my friend is doing something... Like, I've said
• 4:00
  Speaker 3: this time and time again.
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  Speaker 1: If.
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  Speaker 6: My friend is not behaving correctly. I'm going to be like, that's.
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  Speaker 3: Not really cool.
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  Speaker 1: I agree.
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  Speaker 3: If I had a friend who was behaving like this
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  Speaker 3: and low-key cheating on their partner, I would immediately call
• 4:14
  Speaker 3: them out and say, hey, I'm going to tell your
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  Speaker 3: partner that you're doing that because that's unacceptable. Update. I've
• 4:18
  Speaker 3: locked him on all communication and I unfriended his wife.
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  Speaker 3: I don't like you. That didn't solve anything. That did nothing. Yeah,
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  Speaker 3: you're an a-hole. So you're just like, I just don't
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  Speaker 3: want to be involved, guys. I'm just going to take
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  Speaker 3: myself out. OP literally went, I'm actually not going to
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  Speaker 3: call him out on it. And I'm not going to
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  Speaker 3: tell his wife that he was doing this terrible thing.
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  Speaker 3: I just don't want to really, I don't really want
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  Speaker 3: to do the hard thing and confront him. They're like,
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  Speaker 3: I don't want to be a bad guy.
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  Speaker 5: This is too much work.
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  Speaker 3: Coward. Yeah, that's crazy. Ew. And I've known him for
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  Speaker 3: 23 years and met his wife a few years ago
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  Speaker 3: and I've socialized with her maybe a total of five times.
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  Speaker 3: Five times too many. You need to tell her. It
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  Speaker 3: doesn't matter. She very much knows the man he was
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  Speaker 3: before they got married and chose him despite that. There
• 5:00
  Speaker 3: are tons of people closer to both of them who
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  Speaker 3: know what kind of man he is. I'm definitely not
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  Speaker 3: going to blow up their lives. Sorry, folks. Oh, my God.
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  Speaker 6: Okay.
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  Speaker 5: Not doing anything is.
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  Speaker 6: Is contributing to what's happening.
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  Speaker 3: So you're just one of those people that sits to
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  Speaker 3: the side and is a little bystander.
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  Speaker 6: Like, even I, the girl with no backbone, I would
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  Speaker 6: say something.
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  Speaker 3: No, I don't like this.
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  Speaker 6: I would say something, like 100%. I also don't really
• 5:24
  Speaker 6: love OP's attitude. Like, OP is a queer person, I think.
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  Speaker 6: I think OP is a queer woman.
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  Speaker 3: And surrounds herself or was surrounding herself with these types
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  Speaker 3: of guys was okay with not calling them out for
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  Speaker 3: their behavior.
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  Speaker 4: Like, I don't know.
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  Speaker 6: Oh, it's like, you know, when when guys say like, oh,
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  Speaker 6: it's like locker room talk.
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  Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm calling that out. I have a lot of
• 5:44
  Speaker 3: guy friends. Like, obviously, they're not to this level. Yeah. Fortunately,
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  Speaker 3: but I'll call them like I call my guy friends
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  Speaker 3: out all the time for things because I care about them. Yeah.
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  Speaker 3: It doesn't seem like you care about these people.
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  Speaker 6: You can't say that. Hey, that's not really cool to say.
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  Speaker 3: I go, no, no, no. If you say that to
• 6:00
  Speaker 3: the wrong group.
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  Speaker 6: Yeah.
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  Speaker 3: It's like not even judging them. It's looking out for them.
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  Speaker 3: And it doesn't seem like Opie has that level of
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  Speaker 3: care for the people in our lives. Opie, you're the a-hole.
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  Speaker 5: Yeah.
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  Speaker 3: Everyone sucks there.
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  Speaker 4: And that's the end of this story. We're going to
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  Speaker 4: go to the next one.
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  Speaker 3: My best friend fell in love with a married man
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  Speaker 3: and I want to expose them. Do it! Get him
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  Speaker 3: out of there! So to start, I'm looking for genuine
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  Speaker 3: advice and want the best possible outcome for all parties.
• 6:29
  Speaker 3: My best friend has been talking to a guy for
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  Speaker 3: seven months. Let's call him Jack. Jack told Jane, my
• 6:35
  Speaker 3: best friend, that he has a two-year-old daughter and is
• 6:37
  Speaker 3: in the process of getting a divorce.
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  Speaker 5: Always in the process.
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  Speaker 4: Yeah.
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  Speaker 5: Yeah.
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  Speaker 3: I don't trust anyone.
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  Speaker 6: No.
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  Speaker 3: He said that their divorce isn't being placed as priority
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  Speaker 3: because there is no DV involved, so it's taking the
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  Speaker 3: courts longer. Oh, my God. That was my first-ish red flag. Yeah.
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  Speaker 3: Jack and Jane proceed to talk day and night. They
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  Speaker 3: only talk via Call of Duty? Hmm.
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  Speaker 4: Oh. What?
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  Speaker 3: Okay. When Jaina asked if he had socials or a phone,
• 7:04
  Speaker 3: they could just text and call off. He said he
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  Speaker 3: had neither. Second red flag. Wait, he didn't have a
• 7:10
  Speaker 3: phone or what?
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  Speaker 5: Or socials.
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  Speaker 3: He said he doesn't have a phone because he only
• 7:15
  Speaker 3: has one for work, not personal use.
• 7:16
  Speaker 5: That's like not true. In today's day and age?
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  Speaker 3: That's the dumbest excuse I've ever heard. I'd be like,
• 7:22
  Speaker 3: you don't have a phone?
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  Speaker 1: You don't have a phone.
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  Speaker 6: Unless he recently just broke it.
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  Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't buy it. Jane doesn't think much of
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  Speaker 3: it and proceeds to talk via Cod. They sometimes will
• 7:33
  Speaker 3: be online together while he's in work meetings so Jane
• 7:35
  Speaker 3: can hear a good chunk of the meetings and his
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  Speaker 3: boss one day says, How's your wife, Jack?
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  Speaker 5: How is he?
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  Speaker 2: What?
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  Speaker 5: What is going on?
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  Speaker 3: To which he responded, Good, good, and quickly moved away
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  Speaker 3: from that. When Jane confronted him about it, he said
• 7:48
  Speaker 3: he hadn't told his boss about the problems he's been
• 7:50
  Speaker 3: having with his wife because he's embarrassed. Third red flag.
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  Speaker 5: I think the fourth red flag is your friend still
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  Speaker 5: believes any of this.
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  Speaker 3: That is three strikes, you're out. Yeah. By the way,
• 8:01
  Speaker 3: this comes from actualassignment94, and if you want to submit
• 8:04
  Speaker 3: your own stories, go to the r slash showcase story
• 8:06
  Speaker 3: time subreddit. I'm Sophia. I'm Savannah.
• 8:09
  Speaker 5: I'm Keon.
• 8:10
  Speaker 3: And we're here to give good advice goofily, but we
• 8:12
  Speaker 3: don't have all the answers. We only know what we'd do.
• 8:14
  Speaker 3: So let us know what you would do in the comments.
• 8:16
  Speaker 3: And OP said... Weeks go past and Jack is pushing
• 8:20
  Speaker 3: to come meet Jane. Jack lives on the U.S. East
• 8:22
  Speaker 3: Coast and Jane lives on the Canada East Coast. Jane
• 8:25
  Speaker 3: has been pushing it off because of schools and personal things.
• 8:29
  Speaker 3: Last week, Jane got an urge to just try looking
• 8:32
  Speaker 3: for his socials. Well, it didn't take her long to
• 8:35
  Speaker 3: find them. Fourth strike, I don't know.
• 8:38
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 8:39
  Speaker 3: Not only did she find them, but she also found
• 8:41
  Speaker 3: out that he is in an active marriage. It's not
• 8:46
  Speaker 3: how he portrayed it to be at all. Jane also
• 8:48
  Speaker 3: found out that he has not one child, but two.
• 8:50
  Speaker 5: Dang.
• 8:51
  Speaker 3: Wow. Okay, bye. Stop talking to mom. Immediately. Immediately, I
• 8:55
  Speaker 3: find that out. I- A seven-month-old baby. Jane is furious
• 9:00
  Speaker 3: and sends him the screenshots. Jack proceeds to play dumb, saying,
• 9:03
  Speaker 3: is that supposed to be me?
• 9:05
  Speaker 2: Wow.
• 9:06
  Speaker 3: What an idiot this guy is. And eventually admits it.
• 9:09
  Speaker 4: Yeah, of course.
• 9:09
  Speaker 3: Yeah, you go, yes. And then he goes, fine, yeah,
• 9:11
  Speaker 3: that's me. I go, did you think I was an idiot? Yeah. Like,
• 9:14
  Speaker 3: what a stupid gaslighter.
• 9:16
  Speaker 1: I don't know.
• 9:16
  Speaker 5: It's been seven months. We've been talking on COD, and
• 9:18
  Speaker 5: you believe that, so kind of.
• 9:20
  Speaker 3: Jack proceeds to say that they've been having problems for
• 9:23
  Speaker 3: the last two years, just about, and have been on
• 9:25
  Speaker 3: and off for that duration. He claims that deep down
• 9:28
  Speaker 3: he knows it won't work out, but he has to
• 9:30
  Speaker 3: try one final time for his parents and his kids,
• 9:33
  Speaker 3: not the wife.
• 9:34
  Speaker 5: Dude.
• 9:35
  Speaker 1: Dude.
• 9:35
  Speaker 3: And this is you trying?
• 9:37
  Speaker 5: And this is where you walk away from this mess.
• 9:39
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 9:40
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 9:40
  Speaker 3: He says he has to try due to family and
• 9:43
  Speaker 3: religious obligation. He feels as though he's trapped and doesn't
• 9:46
  Speaker 3: know what to do. Again, his words to her. He
• 9:49
  Speaker 3: sends her one final email saying she deserves better and
• 9:52
  Speaker 3: he's grateful for all the grace and love she's shown
• 9:54
  Speaker 3: towards him. It's essentially a goodbye message, but Jane is
• 9:57
  Speaker 3: not having it. She's pissed. He was supposed to fly
• 10:01
  Speaker 3: out in two weeks for them to finally meet and
• 10:03
  Speaker 3: start their life together. They talked about marriage, kids, growing old.
• 10:08
  Speaker 3: Jane has a lot of questions. She sends Jack one
• 10:10
  Speaker 3: more email saying, I need to talk to you. You
• 10:13
  Speaker 3: can't just disappear like this. Jack responds and says, if
• 10:16
  Speaker 3: you feel it'll bring you peace, then yes, we can
• 10:19
  Speaker 3: talk one final time. They spoke today for five hours.
• 10:25
  Speaker 5: Why are we not bringing up? Hey, Jack, tell the
• 10:27
  Speaker 5: truth to your family.
• 10:29
  Speaker 7: Yeah.
• 10:29
  Speaker 3: Or I will. Or I will, yeah. For this next part,
• 10:32
  Speaker 3: I just want to say that I think Jack is
• 10:34
  Speaker 3: full of crap. Jack proceeds to tell Jane in this
• 10:37
  Speaker 3: conversation that he loves Jane more than anything. And he's stuck.
• 10:40
  Speaker 3: He doesn't know what to do. I'm sorry. He loves
• 10:42
  Speaker 3: Jane more than anything. They've only talked on Cod.
• 10:46
  Speaker 6: Yeah.
• 10:46
  Speaker 5: True love. They say chivalry is passed away. And that's
• 10:49
  Speaker 5: true love.
• 10:50
  Speaker 3: He doesn't want to lose his kids and he knows
• 10:52
  Speaker 3: that if his wife finds out, it's over for him.
• 10:55
  Speaker 3: His life will be ruined.
• 10:56
  Speaker 5: Good.
• 10:57
  Speaker 3: As it should be. He proceeds to cry into the
• 11:00
  Speaker 3: phone to God saying, God.
• 11:02
  Speaker 1: Why would you let me get to this point?
• 11:04
  Speaker 3: Why wouldn't you just end my life? Oh my God.
• 11:10
  Speaker 3: No way you just said that. That's such a low blow.
• 11:14
  Speaker 3: An idiot. God. Yikes. Real dramatic for minutes on end. Again,
• 11:20
  Speaker 3: I think Jack is full of crap and is playing
• 11:22
  Speaker 3: on Jane's emotions to weasel out of this. I didn't
• 11:25
  Speaker 3: get the full details quite yet, but Jack has Jane
• 11:28
  Speaker 3: convinced that he truly loves her and is in this
• 11:32
  Speaker 3: miserable life with his wife. I think Jack is just
• 11:34
  Speaker 3: another man cheating on his wife. Jane somehow found out
• 11:38
  Speaker 3: his whole life and he is crap at himself, I think.
• 11:42
  Speaker 3: Jane thinks Jack is going to leave his wife in
• 11:44
  Speaker 3: a couple of months and that they're soulmates and meant
• 11:46
  Speaker 3: to be together forever.
• 11:47
  Speaker 5: She's so stupid. Pull yourself together.
• 11:50
  Speaker 3: I mean, it's been seven months. Your relationship is built
• 11:54
  Speaker 3: on a lie. It's not going to work.
• 11:56
  Speaker 6: He's just because literally, I don't think he's told any
• 11:59
  Speaker 6: of what he said is the truth.
• 12:00
  Speaker 5: Nothing.
• 12:01
  Speaker 3: I've tried telling her he's never going to leave her.
• 12:03
  Speaker 3: And even if he does, it's going to be rough.
• 12:05
  Speaker 3: Jane says she doesn't care and she wants them to
• 12:08
  Speaker 3: be together no matter what. jane told him to leave
• 12:10
  Speaker 3: his wife to add one last thing jane also threatened
• 12:14
  Speaker 3: slash blackmail jack into staying in contact with her by
• 12:17
  Speaker 3: the reasoning that he can't just abandon her after planning
• 12:20
  Speaker 3: a life together and he needs to support her so
• 12:23
  Speaker 3: there's that He could have just said all of this
• 12:25
  Speaker 3: to ensure Jane doesn't drop a bomb on his life
• 12:27
  Speaker 3: and to keep her quiet. But what Jack and Jane
• 12:30
  Speaker 3: don't know is that I have the wife's Instagram and Facebook.
• 12:34
  Speaker 3: The only issue is that I have zero proof to
• 12:37
  Speaker 3: send her to back it up. Yes, Jane is a
• 12:39
  Speaker 3: bit dumb and naive right now, but she's a woman
• 12:42
  Speaker 3: who believes she's crazy in love with this man. She's
• 12:45
  Speaker 3: still my friend, and it's disappointing that she's even trying
• 12:48
  Speaker 3: to meddle in a married man's life. I don't know
• 12:50
  Speaker 3: if I could keep being friends with her after this,
• 12:52
  Speaker 3: to be honest. depending on what happens. I just couldn't.
• 12:56
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 12:56
  Speaker 3: I just couldn't. I'd be like, come on. I hope she,
• 12:59
  Speaker 3: you know, it's not going to work out. Everyone around
• 13:02
  Speaker 3: you knows, you know, what are you doing? I hope
• 13:06
  Speaker 3: she makes the right choice. But as for the wife,
• 13:08
  Speaker 3: what do I do? Should I, or should I not
• 13:11
  Speaker 3: reach out to Jack's wife?
• 13:12
  Speaker 1: I should.
• 13:13
  Speaker 3: What is the right thing to do? And we got
• 13:14
  Speaker 3: an update four days later.
• 13:16
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 13:17
  Speaker 3: No, you got to reach out to her. I honestly
• 13:19
  Speaker 3: agree just because I'm, At this point, I don't think
• 13:22
  Speaker 3: that your friend is going to do it. I don't
• 13:23
  Speaker 3: think Jane is going to do it. No, she's not
• 13:25
  Speaker 3: going to do it. And the thing is, you're doing
• 13:27
  Speaker 3: a favor for your friend. She is hypnotized by this
• 13:30
  Speaker 3: man who's.
• 13:31
  Speaker 6: Just feeding her lies, gaslighting or manipulating her into thinking
• 13:34
  Speaker 6: that this is going to work out, this is going
• 13:35
  Speaker 6: to work out.
• 13:36
  Speaker 3: You need to help your friend. But by helping your friend...
• 13:42
  Speaker 3: You need to expose this guy's lies.
• 13:46
  Speaker 6: And yeah, it's going to hurt her and it's going
• 13:47
  Speaker 6: to hurt him and all this stuff. And maybe you'll
• 13:49
  Speaker 6: be the bad guy for a little while. But ultimately,
• 13:52
  Speaker 6: that is the right choice. That is the that is
• 13:54
  Speaker 6: what you are supposed to do to a friend.
• 13:56
  Speaker 3: Yeah. But I would distance from this friend. I would
• 13:59
  Speaker 3: do that. I would tell her, hey, if you ever
• 14:01
  Speaker 3: come out of this and realize what you're doing is
• 14:03
  Speaker 3: really wrong. Maybe we can work, you know, on improving this,
• 14:07
  Speaker 3: but right now I cannot be friends with you.
• 14:09
  Speaker 6: Sometimes you gotta be the bad guy.
• 14:11
  Speaker 5: To be the good guy.
• 14:12
  Speaker 3: To be the good guy, yeah. Four days later, Zoe
• 14:14
  Speaker 3: spoke with her today and she's changed parts of her story.
• 14:17
  Speaker 3: She now says that she never actually blackmailed him. Just
• 14:20
  Speaker 3: thought this in her own head and expressed it to me.
• 14:23
  Speaker 1: Wow.
• 14:23
  Speaker 3: Apparently they have been talking for the last couple of
• 14:25
  Speaker 3: days like normal, except she has him wrapped around her finger.
• 14:29
  Speaker 3: Oh my goodness. I'm sure to her. Yeah, I'm sure.
• 14:32
  Speaker 3: I mean, delusional to the max. Jack told Jane that
• 14:36
  Speaker 3: things were actually going well with his wife and he
• 14:38
  Speaker 3: doesn't want to pursue this any longer. Oh, But Jane
• 14:42
  Speaker 3: was somehow able to persuade him otherwise. Jane told him bluntly,
• 14:46
  Speaker 3: you need to come see me in City X. We're
• 14:48
  Speaker 3: going to go F. She told him that he owes
• 14:50
  Speaker 3: her for causing all this pain.
• 14:52
  Speaker 1: You owe me.
• 14:53
  Speaker 3: You owe me a big boing. He apparently agreed and
• 14:56
  Speaker 3: said he would agree to her conditions. This is insane.
• 14:59
  Speaker 3: Jack told her to write up a proposal of what
• 15:01
  Speaker 3: she wants out of this because Jack keeps reiterating to her, Jane,
• 15:05
  Speaker 3: I have a wife and two kids. Like, this isn't
• 15:07
  Speaker 3: going to work. Oh, I should have thought about that before, Jack.
• 15:10
  Speaker 6: I thought that you guys were like soulmates.
• 15:13
  Speaker 3: What happened to that? You're in love. But Jane said,
• 15:15
  Speaker 3: I don't give a F. I'm going to get what
• 15:17
  Speaker 3: I want with you, which is spicy sleep, etc. Jack
• 15:20
  Speaker 3: was basically telling her like, hey, I'm not leaving my wife. Essentially,
• 15:24
  Speaker 3: they're planning to have a full blown affair now, not
• 15:27
  Speaker 3: just emotional. She said she doesn't care that he has
• 15:29
  Speaker 3: a wife anymore. She started calling herself his little sleut
• 15:33
  Speaker 3: and or. I am so quickly cutting off this friend.
• 15:36
  Speaker 3: She said that she promised Jack she would never blackmail him,
• 15:39
  Speaker 3: but she's keeping that in her back pocket for just
• 15:41
  Speaker 3: in case. Jane thinks that eventually Jack is going to
• 15:44
  Speaker 3: leave his wife in a couple of years because he
• 15:47
  Speaker 3: isn't getting his spicy needs bed at home and he's
• 15:50
  Speaker 3: unhappy with her and they married too early. The list
• 15:52
  Speaker 3: goes on.
• 15:53
  Speaker 5: I'm staring at her. I'm like, do you hear yourself?
• 15:55
  Speaker 6: Yeah.
• 15:56
  Speaker 3: I'm like, girl, I can't be friends with you. You're crazy.
• 15:59
  Speaker 6: The amount of contradictions that have happened throughout this entire.
• 16:02
  Speaker 3: Story is so exhausting. Like how, how do you even
• 16:05
  Speaker 3: know what you want at this point? I don't know.
• 16:08
  Speaker 3: How do you know what, like you are living in Delululand.
• 16:11
  Speaker 6: Yeah.
• 16:12
  Speaker 3: Mind you, she was wasted spewing all this into the
• 16:15
  Speaker 3: phone at me and I could barely get a word in.
• 16:17
  Speaker 3: At one point I told her I had to go
• 16:19
  Speaker 3: because I'm getting another call. I couldn't keep listening to her.
• 16:22
  Speaker 3: She told me I'm the only friend she trusts with
• 16:24
  Speaker 3: all this and then I tell her I don't trust you, bye.
• 16:27
  Speaker 3: That's it. She lives with other two close friends at
• 16:30
  Speaker 3: the moment and they would punt her out if they
• 16:32
  Speaker 3: knew the extent that she was going to. I'm debating
• 16:34
  Speaker 3: on whether I should meet up with one of her
• 16:36
  Speaker 3: other friends in secret and tell her about it because
• 16:39
  Speaker 3: it's just appalling and disgusting to be frank. Not sure
• 16:42
  Speaker 3: if that's pointless, though. We've got a little bit left
• 16:44
  Speaker 3: to this story. Any final thoughts?
• 16:46
  Speaker 5: I don't think there's any need to add more people
• 16:49
  Speaker 5: into this. But I think you should tell Jane, like, hey,
• 16:52
  Speaker 5: I'm going to tell the wife or something. Like, this
• 16:55
  Speaker 5: has gone on for way too long.
• 16:57
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't think you can tell friends.
• 16:59
  Speaker 6: Truthfully, I'm not even going to tell Jane that I'm
• 17:03
  Speaker 6: doing it.
• 17:04
  Speaker 1: I'm just going to do it.
• 17:04
  Speaker 3: No, I'm just telling her. I'm just telling the wife.
• 17:05
  Speaker 6: Because she'll probably, you know, like it'll blow up and
• 17:09
  Speaker 6: then it'll be all this drama for never.
• 17:11
  Speaker 3: Like, just be like, oh, she found out. If she's
• 17:13
  Speaker 3: this manipulative with Jack, then yeah. Then she's so manipulative
• 17:18
  Speaker 3: with OP. I mean, she is.
• 17:21
  Speaker 6: Because she literally fed her these eyes and she's like, oh,
• 17:23
  Speaker 6: like I just, I was thinking about it. I didn't
• 17:26
  Speaker 6: actually do it, but I was just saying like, I
• 17:28
  Speaker 6: think I thought about it. Like, oh my God, you're exhausting.
• 17:32
  Speaker 6: And I hate you all.
• 17:33
  Speaker 2: Me too.
• 17:34
  Speaker 3: We get a little bit left. I've decided I'm okay
• 17:36
  Speaker 3: with letting go of this 12 year relationship.
• 17:39
  Speaker 2: Wow.
• 17:39
  Speaker 3: This isn't someone I want to surround myself with or
• 17:42
  Speaker 3: my future family. I also found out that she at
• 17:44
  Speaker 3: one point was having spicy sleep with her uncle, not
• 17:47
  Speaker 3: blood related. And the only reason why she stopped was
• 17:50
  Speaker 3: because her aunt saw them meeting up on the security cameras.
• 17:55
  Speaker 6: What?
• 17:56
  Speaker 3: So this girl is messed up. Freaky. I feel like
• 18:02
  Speaker 3: I'm uncovering a monster and I have no idea who
• 18:04
  Speaker 3: this person is anymore. Jack thinks this visit here is
• 18:07
  Speaker 3: only going to be a one-time trip. But Jane has
• 18:10
  Speaker 3: other plans and said that once Jack gets a taste
• 18:12
  Speaker 3: of her, he'll keep coming back for seconds.
• 18:15
  Speaker 6: Ew.
• 18:15
  Speaker 3: I'm still debating on how I would present all of
• 18:17
  Speaker 3: this to the wife. Would I be the a-hole if
• 18:19
  Speaker 3: I did? Am I the a-hole if I met up
• 18:21
  Speaker 3: with the friends she's living to tell them all this?
• 18:24
  Speaker 3: I know for sure if they knew, they would cut
• 18:26
  Speaker 3: her off too. I was kind of debating. telling the friends.
• 18:32
  Speaker 3: Because I was like, I don't know if you need
• 18:33
  Speaker 3: to involve them. I feel like it's important to tell
• 18:35
  Speaker 3: the wife.
• 18:36
  Speaker 5: Oh, for sure.
• 18:37
  Speaker 3: But now I'm kind of thinking Jane needs to learn
• 18:40
  Speaker 3: a really tough lesson right now that she is a
• 18:43
  Speaker 3: terrible person.
• 18:44
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 18:45
  Speaker 3: And I think she needs to lose all of her friends.
• 18:48
  Speaker 3: I mean, I don't even think that would affect her, truthfully. No,
• 18:51
  Speaker 3: I think she would just move on to someone else
• 18:53
  Speaker 3: and be like, yeah, all my friends are terrible.
• 18:54
  Speaker 6: Yeah, just be the victim. Like, she very much is
• 18:57
  Speaker 6: the victim of all of this, but then, like, tries
• 18:59
  Speaker 6: to act like she is so mighty. Yeah.
• 19:02
  Speaker 5: D-Rad says it. Oh, so Jane is a proud home wrecker.
• 19:06
  Speaker 3: Yeah. That's insane.
• 19:08
  Speaker 5: She was on her Bob the Builder cap.
• 19:10
  Speaker 6: Yeah.
• 19:11
  Speaker 2: Helmet.
• 19:11
  Speaker 3: I don't even believe that she didn't know that Jack
• 19:14
  Speaker 3: had a wife. Oh, for sure. I think she knew
• 19:17
  Speaker 3: all along. I think, yeah.
• 19:18
  Speaker 6: I mean, especially seven months talking and like you never
• 19:23
  Speaker 6: look them up. Yeah.
• 19:24
  Speaker 3: I think she looked him up a while ago and
• 19:26
  Speaker 3: she knew.
• 19:27
  Speaker 6: Yeah.
• 19:27
  Speaker 3: And then be like, oh, oh, oops.
• 19:29
  Speaker 6: What?
• 19:31
  Speaker 3: Oh, I hate her.
• 19:32
  Speaker 4: And that's the end of this story. We're going to
• 19:34
  Speaker 4: go to the next one.
• 19:36
  Speaker 2: Hey, this is Riley, the host that can't really read
• 19:38
  Speaker 2: that well. We're going to get back to the stories,
• 19:40
  Speaker 2: but here's three minutes worth of ads from our sponsors.
• 19:43
  Speaker 6: My friend lied to his partner that we had a past.
• 19:46
  Speaker 6: No wonder she hated me so much. Why'd you do that, though? I,
• 19:50
  Speaker 6: 28 female, went to high school with a group of
• 19:52
  Speaker 6: kids and we're all still friends.
• 19:54
  Speaker 3: Sort of.
• 19:55
  Speaker 6: There's been lots of interdating within this group of friends.
• 19:58
  Speaker 3: Oh, no.
• 19:59
  Speaker 5: That's the worst. The best.
• 20:01
  Speaker 3: Oh, no. No, it's the worst.
• 20:02
  Speaker 5: It gets political in the friend group there.
• 20:04
  Speaker 3: Aye, aye, aye.
• 20:05
  Speaker 6: There's 12 of us, four girls, eight guys. One of
• 20:08
  Speaker 6: the girls, Helena, 27, is the sister of Brian, 29,
• 20:13
  Speaker 6: and John, 24, both in the group of friends. Glenn, 29,
• 20:17
  Speaker 6: is Brian's best friend, and Mike, 27, is Glenn's younger brother.
• 20:21
  Speaker 6: I came into the group because I was dating Mike
• 20:23
  Speaker 6: his freshman and my sophomore year. In high school, but
• 20:26
  Speaker 6: Mike is attracted to the same gender.
• 20:28
  Speaker 3: So yeah.
• 20:31
  Speaker 5: Okay.
• 20:31
  Speaker 6: Weird way to get into the group. We're on really
• 20:34
  Speaker 6: good terms. Helena became my best friend when I was
• 20:38
  Speaker 6: dating Mike, and we stayed BFFs. I stayed friends with
• 20:41
  Speaker 6: everyone and started dating Glenn his senior year. My junior year.
• 20:44
  Speaker 6: We were totally high school sweethearts. I lost my virginity
• 20:48
  Speaker 6: to him. We wanted to get married. Ha!
• 20:51
  Speaker 3: Okay.
• 20:51
  Speaker 6: Ha! Glenn went to community college when I was a
• 20:55
  Speaker 6: senior and wanted me to go to state school. But
• 20:57
  Speaker 6: then I got accepted to a really good school on
• 20:59
  Speaker 6: the other side of the country and decided to go.
• 21:01
  Speaker 3: You said, ha ha, Glenn. I'm out. Ha.
• 21:04
  Speaker 6: We tried long distance for a few months, but eventually
• 21:06
  Speaker 6: we realized we were just changing as people. We are
• 21:09
  Speaker 6: also on good terms now. But for a while, it
• 21:11
  Speaker 6: was kind of awkward. So I would hang out more
• 21:14
  Speaker 6: with individuals of the group rather than everyone together, including
• 21:17
  Speaker 6: with Brian. Helena and I were BFFs, so I would
• 21:21
  Speaker 6: go to their house, and Brian, John, Helena, and I
• 21:24
  Speaker 6: would hang out a lot. By the way, this comes
• 21:27
  Speaker 6: from deleted, and if you want to submit your own stories,
• 21:29
  Speaker 6: go to the r slash ok story time subreddit.
• 21:31
  Speaker 3: I'm Savannah. I'm Sophia.
• 21:33
  Speaker 5: I'm Keon.
• 21:34
  Speaker 6: And we're here to give some good advice. In a
• 21:36
  Speaker 6: little goofy way. But we don't have all your answers.
• 21:39
  Speaker 6: We don't tell you what we would do.
• 21:41
  Speaker 3: But you know what, partner?
• 21:42
  Speaker 6: Let us know what you would do down in the comments.
• 21:45
  Speaker 6: As Opie says, Brian studied abroad for two years in
• 21:48
  Speaker 6: the Czech Republic and found a girl, Maria, who he
• 21:52
  Speaker 6: eventually married when he graduated and moved her to the US.
• 21:55
  Speaker 6: First time I met Maria was at their engagement party
• 21:58
  Speaker 6: and she didn't seem to like me at all. Oh,
• 22:00
  Speaker 6: I had no idea why, but I shrugged it off,
• 22:02
  Speaker 6: figuring maybe it was overwhelming to meet so many of
• 22:05
  Speaker 6: Brian's friends at once. At their wedding, Maria sat me
• 22:08
  Speaker 6: all the way in the back with a bunch of
• 22:10
  Speaker 6: work colleagues of Brian's instead of at a table with
• 22:13
  Speaker 6: the rest of my friends.
• 22:14
  Speaker 3: That's super weird.
• 22:16
  Speaker 6: She claimed it was because I was dateless and just
• 22:19
  Speaker 6: kind of had to fit me in.
• 22:20
  Speaker 3: Where she could. You're single, so you have to go
• 22:23
  Speaker 3: in the back with all these co-workers. Again, I shrugged
• 22:28
  Speaker 3: it off.
• 22:28
  Speaker 6: As the years went on, I started to realize that
• 22:30
  Speaker 6: Maria never, ever invited me to their place for dinner or.
• 22:33
  Speaker 3: To hang out or even... Wow! Dang, they got a
• 23:04
  Speaker 3: kid now?
• 23:04
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 23:05
  Speaker 3: Time's moving quick in this story.
• 23:06
  Speaker 6: I was a little nervous, but Glenn told me to
• 23:09
  Speaker 6: stop worrying. I even made them stop at a toy
• 23:11
  Speaker 6: store and bought Mason a gift as well as flowers
• 23:13
  Speaker 6: and wine for the hostess.
• 23:15
  Speaker 2: Fun.
• 23:15
  Speaker 6: We get to the house and Maria is not happy.
• 23:18
  Speaker 3: Not happy at all.
• 23:20
  Speaker 6: She kind of slunk back into the house as soon
• 23:22
  Speaker 6: as she saw that I was there, but everyone else
• 23:25
  Speaker 6: was super nice and excited to see me. I went
• 23:27
  Speaker 6: inside to apologize to Maria for showing up uninvited and
• 23:30
  Speaker 6: she was in the kitchen crying.
• 23:31
  Speaker 2: Ooh.
• 23:32
  Speaker 6: I tried to find out what was wrong, and then
• 23:35
  Speaker 6: she started yelling at me, mostly in Czech.
• 23:38
  Speaker 5: Oh.
• 23:38
  Speaker 6: Eventually, she calmed down enough to yell at me in
• 23:40
  Speaker 6: English and told me that I was ruining her marriage.
• 23:43
  Speaker 3: And that I should just stay away. What? That's insane.
• 23:47
  Speaker 3: I'm so confused if I'm a P. I'm like, what's
• 23:49
  Speaker 3: going on? Why don't you like me? I brought your
• 23:53
  Speaker 3: child a toy.
• 23:55
  Speaker 5: Where's her toy?
• 23:55
  Speaker 3: Dang. She's like, you're ruining my marriage. You never bring
• 23:58
  Speaker 3: me toys.
• 23:59
  Speaker 6: She told me that she knew about Brian and my
• 24:01
  Speaker 6: relationship and that we had dated for years and that
• 24:03
  Speaker 6: I had been so upset when he broke up with me,
• 24:06
  Speaker 6: but that he couldn't be with me after I cheated
• 24:08
  Speaker 6: on him with Glenn and that I was still pining
• 24:11
  Speaker 6: for him.
• 24:11
  Speaker 3: Uh, no. Who told you that?
• 24:14
  Speaker 6: Wrong. I tried to tell her that I never dated Brian,
• 24:18
  Speaker 6: but she called me a liar and stormed out of
• 24:19
  Speaker 6: the room.
• 24:20
  Speaker 3: I literally go after her. I go, anyone can prove this. Yeah. Actually,
• 24:26
  Speaker 3: I follow her out. I go, hey, guys, did I
• 24:28
  Speaker 3: ever date Brian?
• 24:29
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 24:30
  Speaker 3: And everybody's like, no. That's what I thought. That's funny
• 24:33
  Speaker 3: because Maria thinks I dated Brian. Like, Maria.
• 24:38
  Speaker 5: Did you date Brian?
• 24:39
  Speaker 3: How do I solve a problem like Maria? Brian's like, oh, yeah,
• 24:43
  Speaker 3: you did. Remember?
• 24:44
  Speaker 5: In my dreams.
• 24:47
  Speaker 7: Wow.
• 24:47
  Speaker 3: So I didn't know what to say.
• 24:49
  Speaker 6: I went outside and asked Brian if we could talk.
• 24:51
  Speaker 3: He looked super shifty.
• 24:53
  Speaker 6: So I think he had an inkling about what went
• 24:55
  Speaker 6: on inside. But he wouldn't go inside to talk it
• 24:57
  Speaker 6: over with me. He told me he would talk to
• 25:00
  Speaker 6: me once he was done grilling, so I went inside
• 25:02
  Speaker 6: and sat there, but he never followed me in. Eventually,
• 25:05
  Speaker 6: Helena comes over and I told her what happened and
• 25:08
  Speaker 6: she told me that she figured eventually it would happen. Apparently,
• 25:12
  Speaker 6: Maria had talked crap about OP before the wedding and
• 25:16
  Speaker 6: Helena found out the story Brian had told her about
• 25:19
  Speaker 6: me and him.
• 25:20
  Speaker 3: So, so Maria basically was crap talking OP to Helena
• 25:25
  Speaker 3: and Helena found out that Brian had made up this
• 25:28
  Speaker 3: lie about his relationship.
• 25:32
  Speaker 6: Oh, Brian, Brian, you little sneaky. Helena didn't feel it
• 25:39
  Speaker 6: was right to expose the lie at the time since
• 25:41
  Speaker 6: it wasn't really her business.
• 25:42
  Speaker 5: What?
• 25:43
  Speaker 1: Girl, yeah, it is.
• 25:44
  Speaker 3: I would be pissed off at Helena. I'd be like,
• 25:46
  Speaker 3: you knew that that was a lie and she's hated
• 25:49
  Speaker 3: me this whole time and you didn't think to say
• 25:51
  Speaker 3: they never dated.
• 25:52
  Speaker 7: Yeah.
• 25:52
  Speaker 3: I would have been like, hey. I would, I would.
• 25:56
  Speaker 3: Kind of distance myself from Helena. Like, that's not... I
• 25:59
  Speaker 3: don't like that. It's not right.
• 26:01
  Speaker 6: Glenn finds me and Helena inside and we tell him
• 26:03
  Speaker 6: what happened. He's kind of shocked as well since he
• 26:05
  Speaker 6: had no idea that Brian had told Maria that story.
• 26:08
  Speaker 6: He was not exactly happy. At this point, Brian was
• 26:11
  Speaker 6: sitting outside staring at.
• 26:12
  Speaker 3: The kitchen window. Brian's out there flipping burgers. He's like.
• 26:17
  Speaker 6: He's hyperventilating.
• 26:18
  Speaker 3: Yeah. I've been found.
• 26:21
  Speaker 6: He looked really sad, so Helena went outside. Glenn got Jenny,
• 26:25
  Speaker 6: and we drove home. Saturday night slash early Sunday morning,
• 26:28
  Speaker 6: Brian texts me saying that he's sorry, but that he
• 26:31
  Speaker 6: just couldn't tell his wife that he had been in
• 26:33
  Speaker 6: love with me since we were in high school and blah, blah, blah.
• 26:37
  Speaker 3: I never texted back.
• 26:38
  Speaker 4: Wow.
• 26:39
  Speaker 5: What's the worst that you can say?
• 26:40
  Speaker 3: Yeah, so he's still in love with her.
• 26:43
  Speaker 5: Things are better if you stay.
• 26:45
  Speaker 3: I mean, and none of this, like, none of this
• 26:47
  Speaker 3: is Opie's fault. No. Opie's just like, no idea this
• 26:50
  Speaker 3: even happened. Also, your friends kind of suck. Not all
• 26:52
  Speaker 3: of them, but like, Helena sucks. Brian obviously sucks.
• 26:55
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 26:56
  Speaker 3: Glenn didn't even know. Glenn's just your ex, so we
• 26:59
  Speaker 3: ate him. Maria is just, you know.
• 27:02
  Speaker 5: Maria was just told lies.
• 27:04
  Speaker 6: Yeah. I don't know what my question is. Do I
• 27:06
  Speaker 6: ever talk to either one of these people again? Our
• 27:09
  Speaker 6: mutual friends are so intertwined. I'm the only one who
• 27:12
  Speaker 6: isn't around often, so I'm guessing I should bow out?
• 27:16
  Speaker 6: I love Helena and Brian's parents. I go to their
• 27:18
  Speaker 6: house every Thanksgiving for dessert, and then Helena and I
• 27:22
  Speaker 6: do a sleepover in the basement. Yes, even now that
• 27:24
  Speaker 6: we're almost 30.
• 27:25
  Speaker 4: Oh.
• 27:26
  Speaker 6: Do I stop doing this, at least for the time being?
• 27:29
  Speaker 6: Or do I just extract myself from them, invite people
• 27:31
  Speaker 6: to my parents' house, and not invite Marie and Brian?
• 27:34
  Speaker 3: I forgot Helena and Brian are siblings.
• 27:37
  Speaker 1: Yes.
• 27:37
  Speaker 3: Yeah, so Helena and Brian are siblings, which maybe makes
• 27:42
  Speaker 3: some sort of convoluted sense why she was like, oh,
• 27:44
  Speaker 3: I'm not going to call Brian out. But it also
• 27:46
  Speaker 3: makes less sense in my mind, because if I'm the sister,
• 27:49
  Speaker 3: I'm like, uh, Brian... why did you say that? You know,
• 27:53
  Speaker 3: like I'd feel like it was more my place to
• 27:55
  Speaker 3: call it out. Oh, for sure.
• 27:56
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 27:57
  Speaker 3: Especially if you're siblings.
• 27:58
  Speaker 6: Yeah.
• 27:58
  Speaker 3: I'm calling out. I call out my siblings. Yeah, I
• 28:02
  Speaker 3: would be pretty pissed if Helena was this close of
• 28:05
  Speaker 3: a friend that they still have sleepovers at 30 years old.
• 28:11
  Speaker 3: But she couldn't even tell OP. She not only didn't
• 28:14
  Speaker 3: call out Brian, didn't tell Maria, but she also never
• 28:17
  Speaker 3: told OP so OP could go fix it. No, literally,
• 28:19
  Speaker 3: it's like the last story. These people just sit there.
• 28:22
  Speaker 5: And are like, uh.
• 28:24
  Speaker 3: I'm not gonna be in the middle of this. I
• 28:26
  Speaker 3: don't wanna be involved. Yeah, I would also cut off
• 28:28
  Speaker 3: Helena or at least distance until she apologized.
• 28:32
  Speaker 6: Yeah, that's crazy. There are some comments. Comment number one says,
• 28:36
  Speaker 6: so you never dated Brian, but he told everyone you did.
• 28:39
  Speaker 6: OP responds, Brian told his now wife Maria that we dated.
• 28:43
  Speaker 6: He didn't tell anyone else. Brian's wife Maria told Brian's
• 28:46
  Speaker 6: sister Helena about how much she hates me for breaking
• 28:50
  Speaker 6: Brian's heart and that I'm a witch for cheating on
• 28:52
  Speaker 6: Brian with Glenn.
• 28:53
  Speaker 3: Again, didn't happen. I dated Glenn.
• 28:55
  Speaker 6: No one else knows. Well, Glenn does because Helena and
• 28:59
  Speaker 6: I told him. Comment number two says, why the heck
• 29:01
  Speaker 6: would he tell his wife that?
• 29:03
  Speaker 3: It's just so weird. OP responds, I know, I know,
• 29:05
  Speaker 3: I know, I know.
• 29:07
  Speaker 6: I feel itchy all over thinking about him telling his
• 29:10
  Speaker 6: wife that I had a relationship with him. We're not
• 29:12
  Speaker 6: Dawson's creaky at all. I mean, we've interdated, but that
• 29:16
  Speaker 6: was in high school and college. Seven of the people
• 29:19
  Speaker 6: in my group of friends are married. The others in
• 29:21
  Speaker 6: serious relationships, pretty much except for me. I'm the only
• 29:25
  Speaker 6: one you could label as single. I mean, at one
• 29:27
  Speaker 6: point in time, I kind of thought that Brian had
• 29:29
  Speaker 6: a crush on me. And yeah, he did say one
• 29:31
  Speaker 6: thing one time that left me feeling a bit weirded out.
• 29:34
  Speaker 6: I don't fully remember, but it was when Glenn and
• 29:36
  Speaker 6: I were in high school about how Glenn always got
• 29:38
  Speaker 6: what he wanted.
• 29:39
  Speaker 3: I don't really... remember. But that was eons ago.
• 29:42
  Speaker 6: Brian got married like five or six years ago.
• 29:45
  Speaker 3: It's so weird. I really need after this story to
• 29:49
  Speaker 3: go into the comments and see if anyone called Helena out. Yeah.
• 29:53
  Speaker 3: It just doesn't feel like she's even on Opie's radar. Yeah.
• 29:57
  Speaker 6: Which is weird because I feel like her like Helena
• 30:00
  Speaker 6: and Opie are pretty close.
• 30:02
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 30:03
  Speaker 3: I know. Like but I don't know if one of
• 30:06
  Speaker 3: my friends knew that like.
• 30:08
  Speaker 6: Person had told a lie yeah i told someone else
• 30:11
  Speaker 6: to make them look bad or about me yeah if
• 30:14
  Speaker 6: my friends knew about this lie that has been not
• 30:17
  Speaker 6: spreading but had been affecting my life exactly how people
• 30:21
  Speaker 6: treat me um and didn't tell me i would be
• 30:24
  Speaker 6: very offended yeah i'd be like okay like what are
• 30:26
  Speaker 6: we doing here what are we doing update what happened
• 30:30
  Speaker 6: next I'll just kind of tell you guys what happened
• 30:33
  Speaker 6: next in the context of each person, since there are
• 30:35
  Speaker 6: so many idiots, including myself, people involved in this. Maria,
• 30:40
  Speaker 6: can I just say, poor Maria. I had no idea
• 30:43
  Speaker 6: how much pain she was in. Helena wanted to talk
• 30:45
  Speaker 6: to Maria, but Maria beat her to it. She came
• 30:48
  Speaker 6: over with Mason early in the week and wanted to
• 30:50
  Speaker 6: talk to Helena. I obviously am not privy to all
• 30:53
  Speaker 6: that they talked about, but what Helena did tell me
• 30:56
  Speaker 6: was that Maria has been pretty unhappy for a while,
• 31:00
  Speaker 6: and this was just the final straw. Her anger probably
• 31:03
  Speaker 6: has very little to do with me. Maria doesn't work
• 31:06
  Speaker 6: and hasn't worked since she moved to the U.S. and
• 31:08
  Speaker 6: doesn't have any friends of her own. Okay, so she's
• 31:11
  Speaker 6: in a, like, bad place.
• 31:13
  Speaker 3: Oh, Marie also probably doesn't feel like she can be
• 31:16
  Speaker 3: close to any of his female friends because she's been
• 31:18
  Speaker 3: poisoned against them. Yeah. Oh, he kind of like, and
• 31:22
  Speaker 3: Helena clearly doesn't.
• 31:23
  Speaker 5: It's for control.
• 31:25
  Speaker 6: Yeah.
• 31:25
  Speaker 3: I thought that too. Yeah. And Helena is making no
• 31:28
  Speaker 3: effort to create a bond with her sister-in-law.
• 31:32
  Speaker 2: Clearly.
• 31:32
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 31:33
  Speaker 3: He kind of like ousted her.
• 31:35
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 31:35
  Speaker 3: And that's weird.
• 31:36
  Speaker 6: Maria told Helena that while she wants to work on
• 31:39
  Speaker 6: her marriage, She first wants to get away for a while.
• 31:43
  Speaker 6: Her and Mason are headed to see her family in
• 31:45
  Speaker 6: the Czech Republic for a few weeks. When she comes back,
• 31:48
  Speaker 6: she wants to try counseling. She did tell Helena to
• 31:51
  Speaker 6: apologize to me, though she doesn't want to talk to
• 31:53
  Speaker 6: me directly. Fair enough.
• 31:55
  Speaker 3: No, I don't. That's not fair.
• 31:57
  Speaker 5: We're adults. We're adults.
• 31:59
  Speaker 3: We're adults. Come on. I know like it wasn't her fault.
• 32:01
  Speaker 3: Like she was fed lies, whatever. But like you yelled
• 32:03
  Speaker 3: at her. Yeah. And like, you know.
• 32:05
  Speaker 6: She does owe you an apology. Yeah, she owes you
• 32:07
  Speaker 6: an apology. Not an apology that goes through someone else.
• 32:10
  Speaker 1: That's, you know.
• 32:11
  Speaker 2: I agree.
• 32:11
  Speaker 1: Nah.
• 32:12
  Speaker 3: Helena.
• 32:13
  Speaker 6: Helena and I had a heart-to-heart the following day. She
• 32:15
  Speaker 6: apologized profusely that she didn't set Maria straight back when
• 32:19
  Speaker 6: Maria got married to Brian.
• 32:20
  Speaker 3: We patched things up. She did say that instead of
• 32:22
  Speaker 3: Thanksgiving desserts at her house.
• 32:24
  Speaker 6: We'd totally skip Thanksgiving this year and go on vacation somewhere.
• 32:27
  Speaker 6: I don't know if that really solves anything.
• 32:28
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't know. I guess it's good that she apologized.
• 32:31
  Speaker 7: I guess.
• 32:32
  Speaker 3: I don't like her. Glenn. Oh, boy.
• 32:35
  Speaker 6: Glenn lost his crap. Him and Brian duped it out.
• 32:38
  Speaker 3: Whoa. Not actual fistfighting.
• 32:40
  Speaker 4: Okay.
• 32:40
  Speaker 6: But there was a ton of yelling and screaming confirmed
• 32:43
  Speaker 6: by Jenny. Brian came over to their house to apologize.
• 32:46
  Speaker 6: Glenn started off not saying anything, but eventually lost it.
• 32:49
  Speaker 6: Glenn told Brian they were absolutely done. He doesn't want
• 32:53
  Speaker 6: Brian at any function where he's going to be or
• 32:55
  Speaker 6: where Jenny is going to be or where I am
• 32:58
  Speaker 6: going to be.
• 32:58
  Speaker 3: Dang.
• 33:00
  Speaker 6: Brian told him basically that he wasn't going to adhere
• 33:03
  Speaker 6: to any rules Glenn set for him. He was a
• 33:06
  Speaker 6: free person and blah, blah, blah. I'm a bit worried
• 33:09
  Speaker 6: that Glenn's overzealous defending his slash my honor will backfire
• 33:13
  Speaker 6: since Brian might just start showing up at functions to
• 33:16
  Speaker 6: mess with Glenn and provoke him. For now, Jenny's told
• 33:19
  Speaker 6: our friend group that Glenn and Brian are having some
• 33:21
  Speaker 6: issues and Glenn would rather not see Brian. Why don't
• 33:24
  Speaker 6: we just tell them the truth? Yeah, why don't I
• 33:26
  Speaker 6: think we all need to sit down.
• 33:28
  Speaker 3: Yeah. Like because then we don't have to worry about
• 33:30
  Speaker 3: Glenn showing up to things because he won't be invited. Yeah.
• 33:33
  Speaker 3: Just like clear the air.
• 33:34
  Speaker 6: Yeah. I mean, if you guys if you guys want
• 33:36
  Speaker 6: to have a broken friend group, keep doing what you're doing.
• 33:38
  Speaker 6: But if you kind of want to set things straight.
• 33:41
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 33:41
  Speaker 6: Yeah. Let's have a sit down conversation. Be like, all right,
• 33:44
  Speaker 6: leave everything out on the table. Let's, you know, let's
• 33:46
  Speaker 6: duke it out and let's just go from there. You know,
• 33:48
  Speaker 6: if we still can't find a compromise after that, then
• 33:51
  Speaker 6: I guess we're not really friends.
• 33:52
  Speaker 3: We just didn't grow together. And that's okay. I'm just
• 33:54
  Speaker 3: ousting Glenn.
• 33:55
  Speaker 6: Glenn?
• 33:55
  Speaker 3: No, sorry. Brian. I was going to say, I was like,
• 33:58
  Speaker 3: Glenn's gone. No, no, no. I'm just ousting Brian. I'm
• 34:00
  Speaker 3: like individually going around to all my friends and being like, Yeah,
• 34:03
  Speaker 3: Brian told his lie about me for years to his
• 34:05
  Speaker 3: wife because he's in love with me. And no one
• 34:06
  Speaker 3: did anything. And no one did anything. So, yeah, I
• 34:09
  Speaker 3: don't really like him anymore. Yeah. Brian.
• 34:13
  Speaker 6: I emailed Brian something similar to what a commenter had suggested.
• 34:16
  Speaker 6: I won't post the full text of it, but basically
• 34:18
  Speaker 6: I told him that I was hurt and disappointed. I
• 34:20
  Speaker 6: couldn't believe that he would sully my reputation in this way.
• 34:24
  Speaker 6: I told him that he should clear things up with Maria.
• 34:26
  Speaker 6: This is before I knew Maria was headed to Europe
• 34:28
  Speaker 6: for a while. Then I added a section about the
• 34:30
  Speaker 6: lie itself. I said I wasn't comfortable being around him
• 34:33
  Speaker 6: anymore as I wasn't sure what his intentions were. While
• 34:36
  Speaker 6: I wanted to keep it all via email, Brian called
• 34:39
  Speaker 6: me incessantly and I eventually gave in and picked up.
• 34:42
  Speaker 6: He apologized profusely and insisted that he didn't have feelings
• 34:45
  Speaker 6: for me, but that he didn't want to lose me
• 34:48
  Speaker 6: as a friend.
• 34:49
  Speaker 5: Well, too late.
• 34:50
  Speaker 3: That makes no sense. But you're not a friend for
• 34:52
  Speaker 3: doing that. That's not what friends do. Why tell that
• 34:55
  Speaker 3: lie in the first place? Yeah. You're a crapster. There's
• 34:59
  Speaker 3: no reason for Brian to have made up that lie
• 35:03
  Speaker 3: unless he had feelings for Opie. Exactly. Yeah. There was
• 35:07
  Speaker 3: no other reason. Like, I can't think of one.
• 35:10
  Speaker 6: I said that with all the damage he had done
• 35:12
  Speaker 6: to my trust in him, he had already lost me
• 35:14
  Speaker 6: as a friend. I told him to focus on his
• 35:16
  Speaker 6: marriage and family. I asked him to respect my wishes
• 35:19
  Speaker 6: and not be at functions or to let me know
• 35:21
  Speaker 6: what functions he'd be at so that I could respectfully.
• 35:23
  Speaker 3: Decline the invitation.
• 35:25
  Speaker 6: Just like Glenn, he told me that he was free
• 35:27
  Speaker 6: to do what he wants and that he's not going.
• 35:29
  Speaker 3: To be beholden to any rules I make. What an idiot.
• 35:32
  Speaker 5: Yeah. Yeah.
• 35:34
  Speaker 3: Okay so yeah i apologize but also i'm not gonna
• 35:37
  Speaker 3: listen to any of your rules exactly it's like oh
• 35:39
  Speaker 3: no like i still want to be your friend okay
• 35:41
  Speaker 3: well no i don't trust you anymore and actually i
• 35:44
  Speaker 3: don't want to be at any function.
• 35:45
  Speaker 6: Well you can't control that because i'm gonna come whenever
• 35:49
  Speaker 6: i want to come okay i'm sending that to all
• 35:51
  Speaker 6: my friends yeah i'm like hey if you invite him
• 35:54
  Speaker 6: let me know you can do whatever you want but
• 35:56
  Speaker 6: i won't be there i think a lot of people
• 35:58
  Speaker 6: don't want to be around him like glenn's done with
• 36:01
  Speaker 6: him OP's done with him.
• 36:03
  Speaker 3: Which is true. They should be.
• 36:05
  Speaker 6: Thus, I think I will just invite people out myself
• 36:09
  Speaker 6: and ask them not to bring Brian.
• 36:11
  Speaker 4: Perfect.
• 36:11
  Speaker 6: As far as I'm concerned, this was the last contact
• 36:14
  Speaker 6: I'll ever have with him. Me. Well, me, myself, and
• 36:18
  Speaker 6: I are safely and soundly across the country where it
• 36:20
  Speaker 6: all feels like a bad dream. I feel like something
• 36:22
  Speaker 6: really precious has been taken away from me. I've decided
• 36:25
  Speaker 6: I am not going to spill the beans to my
• 36:27
  Speaker 6: other friends. If any of my other friends want to
• 36:29
  Speaker 6: know what's going on, they should talk to Brian first.
• 36:32
  Speaker 4: No.
• 36:33
  Speaker 3: The liar? Yeah, what? The liar? They should talk to
• 36:36
  Speaker 3: the liar first? Yeah, who's going to, like, blame it
• 36:39
  Speaker 3: on you? Yeah, and then he's going to blame it
• 36:41
  Speaker 3: on you, make up something, and then you're going to
• 36:43
  Speaker 3: have to try and win back your friends.
• 36:46
  Speaker 6: OP, literally the whole reason this happened was because Brian
• 36:50
  Speaker 6: talked first. So don't let him have that upper hand again.
• 36:54
  Speaker 3: Just be like, yeah, Brian sucks. He told a lie.
• 36:57
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 36:58
  Speaker 3: That's all you really have to say. Mm-hmm.
• 37:00
  Speaker 6: Like you're giving him the up and down. I realized
• 37:04
  Speaker 6: this might be a risk that he'd fabricate another lie,
• 37:07
  Speaker 6: but I'd hope my other friends would at least respect
• 37:09
  Speaker 6: me enough to ask for my side of the story.
• 37:11
  Speaker 3: I don't know. Girl, just tell your side then.
• 37:14
  Speaker 6: Yeah.
• 37:14
  Speaker 3: Like, I don't, I don't understand.
• 37:16
  Speaker 6: Like, you know, they should ask Brian first, but they
• 37:19
  Speaker 6: should also hear me out.
• 37:20
  Speaker 3: Like, what do you want? Just, I feel like you could,
• 37:22
  Speaker 3: you know, I'm sure they'll reach out to you and
• 37:24
  Speaker 3: be like, Hey, what happened? Why isn't Brian coming to things?
• 37:26
  Speaker 3: You could just be like, yeah, he kind of made
• 37:29
  Speaker 3: up this story about me to his wife and I
• 37:31
  Speaker 3: no longer feel comfortable. Boom. That's it.
• 37:34
  Speaker 6: Easy.
• 37:34
  Speaker 3: You don't have to be like, he sucks. He's the worst. Yeah.
• 37:37
  Speaker 3: Just literally tell the facts.
• 37:39
  Speaker 6: Brian also must know that if he lies again and
• 37:42
  Speaker 6: Glenn hears about it, Glenn will tell everyone all the
• 37:45
  Speaker 6: details about what happened. Another Redditor pointed out that Brian
• 37:48
  Speaker 6: might have fabricated this whole lie in order to make
• 37:50
  Speaker 6: his Being hung up on me in high school stories
• 37:53
  Speaker 6: seemed better when he first met Maria. Maybe he didn't
• 37:56
  Speaker 6: think it would go anywhere, and then when it did,
• 37:58
  Speaker 6: it was too late to correct the error. I asked
• 38:00
  Speaker 6: Brian outright if this is what happened, and he gave
• 38:03
  Speaker 6: me a non-answer. I asked several times why he would
• 38:06
  Speaker 6: make up a lie like that, and his only response
• 38:08
  Speaker 6: was that without me being there at the time, I
• 38:10
  Speaker 6: wouldn't understand.
• 38:11
  Speaker 3: What? Doesn't make sense. This guy's annoying. Bye! I'm going
• 38:15
  Speaker 3: to take some time and just mourn. Aw. I know
• 38:18
  Speaker 3: it sounds silly, but... It almost feels like someone passed away.
• 38:21
  Speaker 6: I am sure this Thanksgiving is going to be rough,
• 38:24
  Speaker 6: which is why Helena and I are taking a vacay
• 38:26
  Speaker 6: somewhere else instead of spending it with our families.
• 38:29
  Speaker 3: And there's a second update.
• 38:30
  Speaker 6: Oh, boy.
• 38:31
  Speaker 3: Keep it going. Keep it coming. Let's see. I got
• 38:34
  Speaker 3: a letter in the mail from Maria. Crazy stuff.
• 38:37
  Speaker 4: Wow.
• 38:38
  Speaker 3: What do we think Maria said? I think she's going
• 38:40
  Speaker 3: to be nicer. I'm sorry. I think she's just going
• 38:43
  Speaker 3: to apologize. Or do you think, like, Brian got to her? Oh, yeah.
• 38:46
  Speaker 3: He told another lie. And she's like, I knew it
• 38:48
  Speaker 3: this whole time. You were lying. I don't know.
• 38:51
  Speaker 6: I feel like she's going to be like, you know,
• 38:54
  Speaker 6: I've seen the error of my ways. I'm divorcing him. Like,
• 38:57
  Speaker 6: I'm so sorry all this happened. Yeah, I think she's
• 39:01
  Speaker 6: going to say, I'm sorry.
• 39:02
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 39:02
  Speaker 6: She wrote it sometime after sitting down with Helena. She
• 39:06
  Speaker 6: said she was sorry to take her anger out on me.
• 39:08
  Speaker 6: She really thought that part of the reason I hung
• 39:10
  Speaker 6: out with that group of friends, despite having my heart
• 39:13
  Speaker 6: broken by Brian, as she thought, was to try and
• 39:16
  Speaker 6: get back with Brian. She said she was nervous every
• 39:19
  Speaker 6: time because I have such an easy relationship with everyone
• 39:22
  Speaker 6: and she's always fighting to be accepted. See, it always
• 39:26
  Speaker 6: happens to be like projection with these things.
• 39:28
  Speaker 3: And that's just so sad. Well, like projection with a
• 39:31
  Speaker 3: combo of of.
• 39:33
  Speaker 6: Lies yeah however she said that didn't excuse her behavior
• 39:36
  Speaker 6: and she was very sorry oh the best part of
• 39:39
  Speaker 6: the letter she asked me if i could give her
• 39:41
  Speaker 6: and brian some space until their marriage was on steadier
• 39:44
  Speaker 6: ground I sent her a short note back saying, sure thing,
• 39:47
  Speaker 6: I'll give her all the space she needs and accepted
• 39:49
  Speaker 6: her apology. I also sent Brian another email telling him
• 39:52
  Speaker 6: that his wife had asked for space, giving him another
• 39:54
  Speaker 6: reason to avoid social interaction with me.
• 39:57
  Speaker 3: He hasn't responded, but I'm hopeful. I would have told her,
• 40:00
  Speaker 3: of course, I have no plans on seeing Brian ever again. Yeah.
• 40:06
  Speaker 3: You don't have to worry about that. I don't want
• 40:07
  Speaker 3: to see him ever. Exactly. I don't know why everyone's
• 40:10
  Speaker 3: like holding back. I know. Kind of pissing me off.
• 40:12
  Speaker 3: Just tell the truth. Yeah. Other than that, life's going
• 40:15
  Speaker 3: back to normal. Okay. I hope so. Yeah.
• 40:18
  Speaker 6: I mean, truthfully, I'd just be done with, I mean,
• 40:22
  Speaker 6: not that whole friend group, but obviously done with Brian. Yeah.
• 40:25
  Speaker 6: And then I would just check out. I'm sure I
• 40:27
  Speaker 6: would hope that Helena would tell you if Brian was
• 40:31
  Speaker 6: coming to events and stuff.
• 40:34
  Speaker 3: Yeah, because she's siblings, so she probably would invite him. Yeah,
• 40:37
  Speaker 3: she probably would know. But, I don't know.
• 40:39
  Speaker 6: Ryan sucks. A lot of people here suck. And, I
• 40:43
  Speaker 6: don't know, get better friends, I guess.
• 40:44
  Speaker 5: All you do, Opie, is just say so long and goodnight.
• 40:47
  Speaker 4: And that's the end of this story. We're going to
• 40:49
  Speaker 4: go to the next one.
• 40:50
  Speaker 1: My boyfriend is only sweet to me in public, but
• 40:54
  Speaker 1: it's the complete opposite in private.
• 40:56
  Speaker 2: It's because you're his arm candy.
• 40:59
  Speaker 1: My boyfriend, 20 male, and I, 19 female, have been
• 41:02
  Speaker 1: going out for nine months. We never went through a
• 41:04
  Speaker 1: dating phase. We were just close friends who liked each other,
• 41:07
  Speaker 1: hooked up, and are now dating. So we have a
• 41:10
  Speaker 1: very relaxed best friend feel to our relationship. I'll admit
• 41:14
  Speaker 1: I wanted to feel more like his girlfriend at times.
• 41:18
  Speaker 1: I've come to terms with us being more friends than
• 41:20
  Speaker 1: a couple. My boyfriend has a fear of our friends
• 41:24
  Speaker 1: picking a side when we break up since most of
• 41:26
  Speaker 1: our friends are mutual. As a result, he always acts
• 41:29
  Speaker 1: differently with me when we're with our friends. He'll be
• 41:32
  Speaker 1: more affectionate publicly and try to be this ideal boyfriend
• 41:36
  Speaker 1: to impress our friends.
• 41:38
  Speaker 2: Okay, you know what? We have to respect the strat, though.
• 41:42
  Speaker 2: Zero percent. It's a strategy? He wants to make everyone
• 41:47
  Speaker 2: love each other no matter what outcome happens?
• 41:49
  Speaker 1: Well, I guess... And it's just his fear. At this point,
• 41:52
  Speaker 1: I can respect it. But I want to wait and
• 41:54
  Speaker 1: see what the other side of the coin looks like
• 41:57
  Speaker 1: when they're alone.
• 41:59
  Speaker 2: And what he does. All right, so he's sweet to
• 42:01
  Speaker 2: you in front of his friends.
• 42:02
  Speaker 1: I can only respect. He's sweet in public, sweet in private.
• 42:05
  Speaker 1: I respect that to the end of my days.
• 42:08
  Speaker 2: We don't know what happens in private.
• 42:09
  Speaker 1: A few examples of my boyfriend trying to be the
• 42:12
  Speaker 1: ideal guy. He will only do things like cook breakfast
• 42:16
  Speaker 1: and do dishes if my roommates are around to see
• 42:20
  Speaker 1: him help out.
• 42:21
  Speaker 2: Okay. You know what to do.
• 42:24
  Speaker 1: He will offer to pay for me when we dine
• 42:27
  Speaker 1: out with friends. I always decline because privately, he has
• 42:31
  Speaker 1: never offered to pay and only does it in front
• 42:34
  Speaker 1: of his friends.
• 42:34
  Speaker 2: Again, you know what card to pull.
• 42:37
  Speaker 1: Also, because I know he doesn't actually want to pay.
• 42:41
  Speaker 1: I asked our cab driver to pick up our friends
• 42:43
  Speaker 1: along the way because it was raining and my boyfriend
• 42:46
  Speaker 1: did not want to pay for them, so I said
• 42:48
  Speaker 1: I would. When the cab dropped us off first, he
• 42:51
  Speaker 1: quickly paid for us. After we got inside, he asked
• 42:56
  Speaker 1: for me to pay him back.
• 42:57
  Speaker 2: Beautiful. This is a great relationship.
• 43:01
  Speaker 1: Seems like this is the picture of how to build
• 43:05
  Speaker 1: an equitable relationship. By the way, this story about this
• 43:11
  Speaker 1: perfect relationship comes from Under the Bus Girlfriend. And if
• 43:14
  Speaker 1: you want to submit your own stories, go to the
• 43:15
  Speaker 1: r slash ok story and I'm subreddit. I'm Dakota.
• 43:18
  Speaker 2: I'm Raleigh.
• 43:18
  Speaker 1: I'm Keon. And we're here to give good advice goofily.
• 43:23
  Speaker 1: So maybe break out the salt shakers and have a
• 43:26
  Speaker 1: few grains on hand. But if you have your own thoughts,
• 43:29
  Speaker 1: why don't you go put them in the comments? We
• 43:31
  Speaker 1: might read them and laugh and cry and hold each
• 43:34
  Speaker 1: other at night. And OP says. Since the beginning, I've
• 43:38
  Speaker 1: always maintained the stance of splitting the bills 50-50 because
• 43:42
  Speaker 1: we're both broke college students. Fair enough. So I have
• 43:47
  Speaker 1: no expectation for him to pay for me ever. But
• 43:50
  Speaker 1: it bothers me when he only wants to pay for
• 43:54
  Speaker 1: me if there is an audience to see it. I'm
• 43:57
  Speaker 1: a very private person when it comes to relationships, so
• 44:00
  Speaker 1: the PDA makes me really uncomfortable. My friends have implied
• 44:05
  Speaker 1: to me that I should be a better girlfriend to
• 44:07
  Speaker 1: him because I don't seem to care for him as
• 44:09
  Speaker 1: much publicly. Privately, I do a lot more for him.
• 44:14
  Speaker 1: Makes me really sad because previously, I've wanted to feel
• 44:17
  Speaker 1: like his girlfriend, but he only makes me feel special
• 44:21
  Speaker 1: to impress our friends. To me, I just feel like
• 44:25
  Speaker 1: this all boils down to when we break up, he
• 44:28
  Speaker 1: gets to look like the better person because of the
• 44:30
  Speaker 1: show he puts on in front of others.
• 44:33
  Speaker 5: Ah, the greatest showman.
• 44:35
  Speaker 1: With Hugh Jackman?
• 44:36
  Speaker 5: Hugh Jackman.
• 44:37
  Speaker 1: I feel like he's slowly pushing me under the bus.
• 44:41
  Speaker 1: I am really happy with him when we're alone, but
• 44:44
  Speaker 1: when we're in a group, I can't help but feel
• 44:47
  Speaker 1: we're faking. When I look back and think about it,
• 44:50
  Speaker 1: I get really sad. I really don't know how to
• 44:52
  Speaker 1: address this problem with him. Please give me some advice. Well,
• 44:56
  Speaker 1: my advice would be to call him on it right
• 44:59
  Speaker 1: to his face. See what he does.
• 45:02
  Speaker 2: Girl, I don't know if you know what you have.
• 45:05
  Speaker 2: I say keep it up.
• 45:06
  Speaker 1: Keep what up?
• 45:07
  Speaker 3: The relationship?
• 45:07
  Speaker 2: The bar is so low. The fact that he's paying
• 45:10
  Speaker 2: for stuff. Some guys won't even do that.
• 45:12
  Speaker 1: He doesn't do that, Riley.
• 45:13
  Speaker 2: He does do that when friends are around. Just have
• 45:15
  Speaker 2: a friend on call anywhere you go. That simple solution.
• 45:20
  Speaker 1: My real advice would be like, because clearly it's not
• 45:24
  Speaker 1: about he needs to pay for everything. It's about the
• 45:28
  Speaker 1: principle and that he does this purely for optics. So
• 45:32
  Speaker 1: if you go to your partner and you say, hey,
• 45:35
  Speaker 1: It's not that I need you to pay for everything.
• 45:38
  Speaker 1: It's just that I feel like you make decisions to
• 45:40
  Speaker 1: do things in public purely to look good. Because you
• 45:46
  Speaker 1: don't do it in private.
• 45:48
  Speaker 2: I respect the strat, though. Because people in college get
• 45:52
  Speaker 2: nasty when it comes to breakups.
• 45:53
  Speaker 1: You know, I want a little whipped cream pie to
• 45:56
  Speaker 1: throw in your face right now.
• 45:58
  Speaker 2: I'm just saying. Girl, you don't know what you have.
• 46:01
  Speaker 2: You're taking it for granted. Enjoy it.
• 46:03
  Speaker 1: Anyway, there are relevant comments. Tells Eternity says, you are
• 46:07
  Speaker 1: saying when we break up, quote unquote. It sounds to
• 46:11
  Speaker 1: me that you might have already decided that it's not
• 46:14
  Speaker 1: worth continuing with the relationship. OP says, well, we're both
• 46:18
  Speaker 1: really young. Remember 20 and 19. So it's likely that
• 46:22
  Speaker 1: sometime down the road, we will break up. So we're
• 46:25
  Speaker 1: not saying we're going to in the near future. But
• 46:28
  Speaker 1: when we do, he thinks our friends will pick sides,
• 46:31
  Speaker 1: which is true. They always do. And I'm happy with
• 46:33
  Speaker 1: him aside from this problem. So I want to work
• 46:37
  Speaker 1: past it.
• 46:38
  Speaker 2: Kids these days, dating not to marry.
• 46:40
  Speaker 1: Well, dude, that's exactly what that guy we had on, Kevin,
• 46:45
  Speaker 1: what was it, Nahai?
• 46:46
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 46:47
  Speaker 1: He says that when you're younger, you date to break up, right?
• 46:50
  Speaker 1: It's not that you do that when you're younger, but
• 46:53
  Speaker 1: it's much more of like a comfortable thing to do
• 46:57
  Speaker 1: when you're young. You get into a relationship and you go, well,
• 46:59
  Speaker 1: it might not work out forever. But then as you
• 47:02
  Speaker 1: get older... You kind of stop approaching dating in this
• 47:05
  Speaker 1: way where it's like, well, if we break up, it's
• 47:06
  Speaker 1: not like it's the end of the world. It's like, well,
• 47:08
  Speaker 1: I'm dating this person because I want this to work forever.
• 47:12
  Speaker 2: If I have someone as a girlfriend, one day they're
• 47:15
  Speaker 2: going to be my wife, hopefully.
• 47:17
  Speaker 1: There's an edit. Pretty much every single person is advising
• 47:21
  Speaker 1: me to break it off with him. I want you
• 47:23
  Speaker 1: to keep in mind that there are good things about him,
• 47:26
  Speaker 1: and he does make me happy still. I would like
• 47:28
  Speaker 1: to talk to him about the problem and attempt to
• 47:31
  Speaker 1: fix it. If anyone can share some advice on how
• 47:34
  Speaker 1: to approach the subject, that'd be great. Thank you for
• 47:38
  Speaker 1: all your feedback. And we have an update three days later.
• 47:41
  Speaker 1: Let's get into it.
• 47:42
  Speaker 2: We've given our advice. They get married and have three kids.
• 47:45
  Speaker 1: They get married. They had three kids in three days.
• 47:48
  Speaker 2: One kid for every day.
• 47:50
  Speaker 1: Three days later. I'll be honest and say I didn't
• 47:53
  Speaker 1: want to break up with him despite that being the
• 47:56
  Speaker 1: general consensus. Unfortunately, it worked out that way regardless. Hey, baby,
• 48:01
  Speaker 1: it's not unfortunate.
• 48:02
  Speaker 2: It's okay. There's other fellows out there for you.
• 48:05
  Speaker 1: You'll see that in the future.
• 48:08
  Speaker 2: They may pay for you in private, too.
• 48:09
  Speaker 1: I'm extremely sad right now, but I'm heading home this
• 48:12
  Speaker 1: weekend to be with family. Hopefully, it'll take my mind
• 48:15
  Speaker 1: off things. I brought the issues up in the previous
• 48:18
  Speaker 1: thread with him, and we finally talked to the bottom
• 48:21
  Speaker 1: of it. I guess, in retrospect, this was a long
• 48:24
  Speaker 1: overdue talk. I always convinced myself our relationship was okay.
• 48:28
  Speaker 1: But as you all told me, it wasn't. It came
• 48:33
  Speaker 1: down to our relationship being too serious for him. He
• 48:36
  Speaker 1: just wants to go out there and have his fun.
• 48:39
  Speaker 1: After all, we're in college.
• 48:40
  Speaker 3: He's 20, you're 19. It's true. If that's where you're at.
• 48:45
  Speaker 1: I told him I wasn't going to wait around and
• 48:47
  Speaker 1: have him come back when he needed emotional support. I'd
• 48:50
  Speaker 1: say we ended it amiably at the time, which was
• 48:53
  Speaker 1: last night. But I can slowly feel myself resenting him
• 48:57
  Speaker 1: for dragging me along all these months. It's alright, that's
• 49:00
  Speaker 1: only natural. I just wanted to thank Reddit for pushing
• 49:02
  Speaker 1: me to have this overdue talk. As sad and resentful
• 49:06
  Speaker 1: as I am right now, I know when I look
• 49:08
  Speaker 1: back in a month or so, it would be for
• 49:10
  Speaker 1: the best. It's just very bittersweet. Thank you to those
• 49:14
  Speaker 1: who shared their advice. And that is the end.
• 49:17
  Speaker 3: Of that story.
• 49:18
  Speaker 2: They're going through their... first college breakup that's so sad.
• 49:23
  Speaker 1: Won't be the last well i mean maybe i don't
• 49:25
  Speaker 1: know at least you got some good meals out of
• 49:27
  Speaker 1: the girl at least you got some good meals in
• 49:29
  Speaker 1: public in private he's like i'm venmoing you 297 dollars
• 49:33
  Speaker 1: for the last three months I'm requesting.
• 49:37
  Speaker 7: And that's the end of this story. Let's head to
• 49:40
  Speaker 7: the next one.
• 49:41
  Speaker 2: My boyfriend purposely broke our boundaries with his co-worker just
• 49:46
  Speaker 2: to spite me?
• 49:46
  Speaker 1: Oh, I hope he's your ex-boyfriend now.
• 49:49
  Speaker 2: We have had fights about a particular co-worker because they
• 49:53
  Speaker 2: were spending a lot of time texting and FaceTiming together
• 49:57
  Speaker 2: outside of work? Keon, what are the ages here?
• 50:01
  Speaker 5: You got it. Let me check.
• 50:03
  Speaker 3: Computer.
• 50:04
  Speaker 2: Tell us.
• 50:04
  Speaker 1: The ages of all these guys and gals.
• 50:07
  Speaker 5: OP, 32 female. Boyfriend, 35 male.
• 50:12
  Speaker 3: Oh, we're in our 30s.
• 50:13
  Speaker 2: Do we know the co-worker yet?
• 50:15
  Speaker 1: We're in our golden years.
• 50:17
  Speaker 2: He is her boss, and they work very closely together.
• 50:22
  Speaker 2: The last fight we had, it was agreed that he
• 50:24
  Speaker 2: keep things professional from now on. Because the communication was excessive,
• 50:29
  Speaker 2: and I was not comfortable with it. I want to add,
• 50:32
  Speaker 2: I am not a jealous person. He has plenty of
• 50:34
  Speaker 2: female friends that I don't think twice about or complain about.
• 50:38
  Speaker 2: But I have specific reasons why their friendship outside of
• 50:43
  Speaker 2: work made me uncomfortable. She is the only one I've
• 50:47
  Speaker 2: asked him to limit contact with. Today, I found out
• 50:51
  Speaker 2: he had spent the last couple of weeks talking to
• 50:54
  Speaker 2: her on the phone outside of work for long periods
• 50:57
  Speaker 2: of time.
• 50:58
  Speaker 3: Wow.
• 51:01
  Speaker 1: So that's purely... Platonic, right?
• 51:06
  Speaker 2: I calmly asked him about it and what was going
• 51:10
  Speaker 2: on slash why it was happening again after we agreed
• 51:13
  Speaker 2: to set boundaries. His response was that we were fighting
• 51:18
  Speaker 2: and he did it purposefully to hurt me.
• 51:21
  Speaker 1: Okay, so that's an immediate turn around on my heels
• 51:27
  Speaker 1: and leave?
• 51:28
  Speaker 5: Turn around, bright eyes.
• 51:31
  Speaker 2: Well, if you want the world to be blind, she
• 51:33
  Speaker 2: should do it too.
• 51:34
  Speaker 1: I'm not Hammurabi. That was his, an eye for an
• 51:37
  Speaker 1: eye was Hammurabi's code. Back in the day, it was
• 51:40
  Speaker 1: like the first, it was like the first law. He
• 51:43
  Speaker 1: was just like, well, if you, if you poked out
• 51:45
  Speaker 1: his eye, you gotta get your eye poked out.
• 51:48
  Speaker 2: Thank you for the man's friend.
• 51:49
  Speaker 1: Yeah, Hammurabi was kind of a G.
• 51:50
  Speaker 2: He spent large amounts of time on the phone with
• 51:53
  Speaker 2: another woman to make me feel hurt because we were fighting.
• 51:56
  Speaker 2: By the way, this comes from GreenFloor46, and if you
• 51:59
  Speaker 2: want to see my own stories, You know exactly where
• 52:01
  Speaker 2: to go. I am Riley Wilson.
• 52:04
  Speaker 1: I am Dakota Payne.
• 52:06
  Speaker 5: And I am Keon Miller.
• 52:07
  Speaker 2: And us gentlemen are going to read this story goofily.
• 52:10
  Speaker 2: If you have anything you'd like to add, please add
• 52:12
  Speaker 2: it down below. I feel like my trust has been
• 52:14
  Speaker 2: completely violated. They spend time on the phone at late
• 52:18
  Speaker 2: night hours. We work graveyard. But still, this has been
• 52:22
  Speaker 2: happening while they were both off. And I was at work.
• 52:26
  Speaker 2: None the wiser. Not once, but multiple nights over the
• 52:30
  Speaker 2: last couple of weeks. I feel humiliated. I am feeling
• 52:34
  Speaker 2: like this is a deal breaker for me. This seems
• 52:37
  Speaker 2: really inappropriate and immature. Like he went running to another
• 52:41
  Speaker 2: woman for comfort. A woman he knows very well I
• 52:44
  Speaker 2: am not comfortable with. I guess I'm just looking for
• 52:47
  Speaker 2: feedback as to whether I'm overreacting or this is just
• 52:50
  Speaker 2: really crappy of him and I have a right to
• 52:53
  Speaker 2: be upset. Any answers are appreciated. What do you think?
• 52:57
  Speaker 2: What should I do about this? Is it a violation
• 52:59
  Speaker 2: of our relationship enough to consider breaking up?
• 53:02
  Speaker 3: Update.
• 53:02
  Speaker 2: Okay, OP. Did you consider that maybe he's throwing you
• 53:06
  Speaker 2: a surprise birthday party and you're just being crazy, Luno?
• 53:10
  Speaker 2: Think about that.
• 53:10
  Speaker 1: Do you consider that you're crazy and your boyfriend's perfect
• 53:14
  Speaker 1: and you should let him.
• 53:15
  Speaker 2: Do whatever you want?
• 53:17
  Speaker 3: Sounds like she didn't.
• 53:19
  Speaker 1: Yeah, because that'd be the wrong thing to consider. Of
• 53:21
  Speaker 1: course you have a right to be upset. We all
• 53:23
  Speaker 1: have a right to be upset, but... We don't have
• 53:26
  Speaker 1: the right to say that the way that we feel
• 53:29
  Speaker 1: about something means someone absolutely has to do something else.
• 53:32
  Speaker 1: Which means if your boyfriend is willing to do this
• 53:35
  Speaker 1: to you, you should break up with him.
• 53:38
  Speaker 2: Update! So, as I mentioned, once we were both home
• 53:42
  Speaker 2: from work, I told him, we need to talk. The
• 53:46
  Speaker 2: conversation went like this. By this time, he thought I
• 53:49
  Speaker 2: had gotten over it by now. and said he thought
• 53:52
  Speaker 2: we were moving past this. I will say this is
• 53:56
  Speaker 2: a trend with him, never wanting to spend much time
• 53:59
  Speaker 2: listening and working through issues. I said this is a
• 54:02
  Speaker 2: huge deal breaker for me in and of itself. The
• 54:05
  Speaker 2: fact that it's not important to you to resolve issues
• 54:08
  Speaker 2: with your partner, and that my feelings around serious issues
• 54:12
  Speaker 2: annoy you, are not considered or flat out don't seem
• 54:16
  Speaker 2: to matter to you. And to speak of deal breakers,
• 54:20
  Speaker 2: you seem to be very comfortable with disrespecting me, whether
• 54:23
  Speaker 2: it's speaking to me in a derogatory manner or thinking
• 54:27
  Speaker 2: you have the right to feel freely to do things
• 54:30
  Speaker 2: that cross common sense boundaries in a relationship. Okay, you
• 54:34
  Speaker 2: didn't even talk about the way he talked to you.
• 54:37
  Speaker 2: Oh my gosh.
• 54:38
  Speaker 1: Sounds like this guy's bad news all around.
• 54:41
  Speaker 2: I should not be viewed or treated like someone who
• 54:44
  Speaker 2: is beneath you or expected to adopt a shut up
• 54:47
  Speaker 2: and take it approach. and accepting whatever treatment I get
• 54:51
  Speaker 2: from you. The conversation took a sharp left, with me
• 54:54
  Speaker 2: being questioned as why I look for things to be
• 54:58
  Speaker 2: unhappy about, and constantly criticize him. If you refer back
• 55:02
  Speaker 2: to my last two posts, I'd hardly call that a
• 55:05
  Speaker 2: woman who is nagging or criticizing a man out of
• 55:08
  Speaker 2: thin air. I am responding to a very serious instance
• 55:12
  Speaker 2: of disrespect. He also accused me of cheating with several
• 55:16
  Speaker 2: people I haven't spoke to since we've been together. Any
• 55:20
  Speaker 2: number I still have in my phone that belongs to
• 55:23
  Speaker 2: a male means I'm saving it with bad intentions or
• 55:26
  Speaker 2: already cheating with them. Side note, I changed my number
• 55:30
  Speaker 2: after getting with him and very few people have it.
• 55:33
  Speaker 2: He got his best friends involved and said they all
• 55:36
  Speaker 2: agreed that it was weird I have such a huge
• 55:39
  Speaker 2: problem with this female coworker that it seems as if
• 55:41
  Speaker 2: I have a guilty conscience and Because I must be
• 55:44
  Speaker 2: the one who's cheating. And that's why I'm trying so
• 55:48
  Speaker 2: hard to make his communication with this coworker seem wrong.
• 55:53
  Speaker 2: And Heather Marie flipping it right back on him. If
• 55:55
  Speaker 2: he's accusing you of cheating, he's guilty. What am I
• 55:59
  Speaker 2: living in the freaking twilight zone? So not only is
• 56:03
  Speaker 2: there no accountability most of the time for anything he's done,
• 56:07
  Speaker 2: I'm at fault for any problems going on in our
• 56:10
  Speaker 2: relationship for having any kind of emotion or And I'm
• 56:13
  Speaker 2: suspicious for calling him out on things that I'm not
• 56:17
  Speaker 2: comfortable with. The rest of the conversation was spent with
• 56:20
  Speaker 2: him antagonizing me repeatedly over and over saying I've been
• 56:25
  Speaker 2: caught and that he's a better person for having overlooked
• 56:28
  Speaker 2: this until now because he actually loves me. Cherry on top. Wow, dude, I.
• 56:36
  Speaker 2: This guy, what school did this guy go to? Holy cow.
• 56:41
  Speaker 2: This is textbook.
• 56:42
  Speaker 1: He went to Alabama.
• 56:45
  Speaker 2: Alabama?
• 56:45
  Speaker 3: I don't know.
• 56:46
  Speaker 2: Roll Tide.
• 56:47
  Speaker 1: He went to Northwestern. What's their mascot? They're Northwesterners.
• 56:51
  Speaker 5: No. I think it's a cat or like a lion.
• 56:54
  Speaker 1: I know this guy be lying. Oh, there we go.
• 56:57
  Speaker 1: Full circle.
• 56:58
  Speaker 2: All of their mascots are lions because they always be lying.
• 57:01
  Speaker 4: Blah, blah, blah.
• 57:01
  Speaker 1: That's what I'm talking about, Maine.
• 57:02
  Speaker 2: Maine. That's right, Gucci.
• 57:05
  Speaker 1: B-A-R-F.
• 57:07
  Speaker 2: Needless to say, and hopefully you can spell that out.
• 57:10
  Speaker 2: I ended the relationship. I'm going to focus on being
• 57:13
  Speaker 2: a mother now. What, you have a kid?
• 57:16
  Speaker 4: What?
• 57:17
  Speaker 2: Why did you now just say that?
• 57:19
  Speaker 1: Maybe you should have done that the whole time.
• 57:21
  Speaker 2: What?
• 57:22
  Speaker 1: Wait, what? Wait, what?
• 57:24
  Speaker 2: Oh, my head hurts.
• 57:25
  Speaker 1: I guess it makes sense they have a kid together.
• 57:26
  Speaker 1: She's like 32. He's 35.
• 57:28
  Speaker 2: She just didn't.
• 57:29
  Speaker 1: It wasn't relevant in the story, I guess.
• 57:31
  Speaker 2: Thank you, everyone, for reading this and giving me comfort
• 57:33
  Speaker 2: and reassurance. Bless you. I didn't sneeze. That was great.
• 57:38
  Speaker 1: Phenomenal. Fantastic.
• 57:41
  Speaker 7: And that's the end of this story. Let's head to
• 57:43
  Speaker 7: the next one. Hey, it's Dakota, your favorite good time
• 57:47
  Speaker 7: boy host here. We're gonna get back to the stories,
• 57:49
  Speaker 7: but here's three minutes of ads from our sponsors. My
• 57:53
  Speaker 7: boyfriend kept delaying his marriage proposal to me and I'm
• 57:57
  Speaker 7: tired of it.
• 57:58
  Speaker 2: Do it right now.
• 58:00
  Speaker 1: My boyfriend and I have been together for a little
• 58:02
  Speaker 1: over four years. We both turned 27 this year And
• 58:06
  Speaker 1: since forever, my goal in life is to get married
• 58:09
  Speaker 1: at 24 and start trying for kids at 26 or
• 58:12
  Speaker 1: 27 years old. My boyfriend knows this. Since we first
• 58:17
  Speaker 1: started dating, I've told him I wanted kids before I'm
• 58:20
  Speaker 1: 30 or at least to start trying for them. The
• 58:23
  Speaker 1: reason being having more energy to raise them and knowing
• 58:25
  Speaker 1: I'll probably have trouble conceiving, which TMI, I have very
• 58:28
  Speaker 1: irregular periods and my parents took 14 years of trying
• 58:31
  Speaker 1: before they had my brother. A couple years ago when
• 58:33
  Speaker 1: I was talking to my boyfriend about this, we had
• 58:35
  Speaker 1: agreed to delay my want for marriage to a later
• 58:37
  Speaker 1: age than 24 as he was still in school. I
• 58:40
  Speaker 1: graduated at 23, but he graduated in December of 2017
• 58:44
  Speaker 1: and started his job in February of 2018. I explicitly
• 58:48
  Speaker 1: told him that I wanted to be married ideally by
• 58:51
  Speaker 1: 27 years old. So age 26 comes to knock it.
• 58:55
  Speaker 1: And no engagement yet. And from what I know, no
• 58:59
  Speaker 1: engagement is coming either.
• 59:01
  Speaker 5: Plans change sometimes.
• 59:03
  Speaker 1: So I bring it up again, which I've brought it
• 59:06
  Speaker 1: up a couple times before, but not in a serious way,
• 59:08
  Speaker 1: more like just a, sharing reminder with him when our
• 59:12
  Speaker 1: friends are getting engaged on facebook or when we attend
• 59:15
  Speaker 1: friends weddings together even his brother-in-law brought.
• 59:19
  Speaker 2: Up so we need to get married our kids need
• 59:21
  Speaker 2: to have more cousins to play with.
• 59:23
  Speaker 1: But this time i ask seriously i say hey are
• 59:27
  Speaker 1: we ever gonna get married you know, I want to
• 59:29
  Speaker 1: get married before 28 so we can try for kids
• 59:32
  Speaker 1: before 30, right? We're Asian. Having kids before you're married
• 59:35
  Speaker 1: is generally frowned upon. He replies along the lines of.
• 59:41
  Speaker 3: He wants to get married.
• 59:43
  Speaker 1: But not yet.
• 59:44
  Speaker 2: Okay.
• 59:45
  Speaker 1: End of story for that conversation, apparently. By the way,
• 59:49
  Speaker 1: this comes from a deleted user. And if you want
• 59:51
  Speaker 1: to submit your own stories, go to the r slash
• 59:53
  Speaker 1: OKStoryTime subreddit. I'm Dakota.
• 59:55
  Speaker 2: I'm Riley.
• 59:55
  Speaker 5: I'm Keon.
• 59:56
  Speaker 1: And we're going to read this story and give our thoughts.
• 59:58
  Speaker 1: We're going to try to make it as good as possible,
• 1:00:00
  Speaker 1: but break out the salt shakers, people, because we don't
• 1:00:02
  Speaker 1: have all the answers. But we're going to try our best. Really,
• 1:00:05
  Speaker 1: we're just here to be entertaining. And we want to
• 1:00:07
  Speaker 1: know what you have to say, so put it in
• 1:00:08
  Speaker 1: the comments and we'll read it. And OP says, A
• 1:00:11
  Speaker 1: few months ago, I really started feeling stuck in life.
• 1:00:17
  Speaker 1: I have a history of clinically diagnosed depression, but right
• 1:00:19
  Speaker 1: now I am no longer on medication. My career is stable.
• 1:00:23
  Speaker 1: Relationships with friends and family are pretty good and drama-free.
• 1:00:27
  Speaker 1: But I just feel like my life isn't moving, and
• 1:00:29
  Speaker 1: it's probably because my biggest goals in life, I've always
• 1:00:33
  Speaker 1: wanted to be married and have my own house and
• 1:00:34
  Speaker 1: be a mom, are nowhere in sight, and I literally
• 1:00:37
  Speaker 1: can't do any of these things on my own, even
• 1:00:39
  Speaker 1: if I wanted to own a house. Where I come from,
• 1:00:42
  Speaker 1: you literally can't buy public housing unless you're married or
• 1:00:45
  Speaker 1: you're 35 years old, and private housing is too expensive
• 1:00:47
  Speaker 1: to buy on your own. So I reach out to
• 1:00:50
  Speaker 1: him again and tell him about this. I'm frustrated. And
• 1:00:53
  Speaker 1: I ask him to give me reasons why he doesn't
• 1:00:56
  Speaker 1: want to get married. That's a good question. His answers
• 1:00:59
  Speaker 1: were along the lines of, just because other people are
• 1:01:02
  Speaker 1: getting married or telling us to get married doesn't mean
• 1:01:05
  Speaker 1: we should let them rush our judgment. Marriage is an
• 1:01:08
  Speaker 1: important decision. And I need to be sure that everything's right. Well,
• 1:01:12
  Speaker 1: it's been four years. I'm procrastinating and confused. I don't
• 1:01:17
  Speaker 1: feel confident. Some days I feel useless, which I just
• 1:01:20
  Speaker 1: pulled out his email on the notes he sent me
• 1:01:22
  Speaker 1: about this, which I asked him to send me because
• 1:01:24
  Speaker 1: I'm more of a reader than a talker. I don't know, dude.
• 1:01:28
  Speaker 1: The tail end of all that just sounded like, I
• 1:01:30
  Speaker 1: don't know if I want to marry you.
• 1:01:31
  Speaker 2: Yeah, he just doesn't know how to put it and
• 1:01:34
  Speaker 2: actually go through with it. In a relationship, out of convenience.
• 1:01:38
  Speaker 1: Before the conversation, I wrote a very long note for
• 1:01:42
  Speaker 1: him as well on the reasons I want to get
• 1:01:45
  Speaker 1: married and what it means to me. I felt really
• 1:01:49
  Speaker 1: exhausted at the end of the conversation and basically told
• 1:01:52
  Speaker 1: him that if he's not interested in getting married, maybe
• 1:01:54
  Speaker 1: I should move out. We're both quite aware that if
• 1:01:57
  Speaker 1: I move out, it kind of means it's over. He
• 1:02:00
  Speaker 1: cried and he said that he doesn't want to hold
• 1:02:03
  Speaker 1: me back if he doesn't make me happy, but he
• 1:02:05
  Speaker 1: really does want to get married to me. He asked
• 1:02:08
  Speaker 1: me what it would take for me to stay, and
• 1:02:11
  Speaker 1: I told him that I needed, at the very least,
• 1:02:13
  Speaker 1: some sort of plan to show that he has intentions
• 1:02:16
  Speaker 1: of marrying me. We agreed to have talks once every
• 1:02:20
  Speaker 1: two weeks on various topics that would make him comfortable
• 1:02:23
  Speaker 1: enough to want to get married. We had these talks
• 1:02:26
  Speaker 1: for about two months, and then they stopped. I haven't
• 1:02:29
  Speaker 1: reminded him about these talks because I'm just so tired
• 1:02:32
  Speaker 1: of feeling so one-sided about this situation. Logically, there is
• 1:02:36
  Speaker 1: no reason why we shouldn't get married. I could contest that,
• 1:02:40
  Speaker 1: but I'm not here to do that today.
• 1:02:43
  Speaker 2: Emotionally, it doesn't sound like you guys are on the
• 1:02:45
  Speaker 2: same page, though. I'm just confused why he still wants
• 1:02:48
  Speaker 2: you around. Four years? Does he have a secret? Is
• 1:02:52
  Speaker 2: he already married and he can't get married again?
• 1:02:54
  Speaker 1: I think nowadays, I don't know, but my guess would
• 1:02:59
  Speaker 1: be the biggest fear that people have when they get
• 1:03:01
  Speaker 1: married is that it's going to end in just like
• 1:03:04
  Speaker 1: my life is imploding, I'm losing half of my income
• 1:03:09
  Speaker 1: that I must pay now in perpetuity, and this is terrible,
• 1:03:13
  Speaker 1: and whatever. It's like, people are like, once you get
• 1:03:15
  Speaker 1: locked in and then it goes bad, it gets sideways.
• 1:03:18
  Speaker 1: I mean, we read stories all the time about people
• 1:03:20
  Speaker 1: getting divorces, and then it's like, and I lost all
• 1:03:23
  Speaker 1: of my money to the court.
• 1:03:24
  Speaker 2: Okay, so you think it's a financial thing? It's too expensive? Keon,
• 1:03:27
  Speaker 2: what do you think?
• 1:03:27
  Speaker 1: I think that's where the 20-somethings are at.
• 1:03:29
  Speaker 5: I think he's just coasting.
• 1:03:31
  Speaker 2: Okay. Just participating?
• 1:03:33
  Speaker 5: He's just like, Yeah, I have a partner and she
• 1:03:36
  Speaker 5: wants to get married. I'll keep lying to her and
• 1:03:38
  Speaker 5: just see how far it goes.
• 1:03:41
  Speaker 1: It's ridiculous of him to do this when from, like
• 1:03:44
  Speaker 1: you said, the very beginning, you were like super clear
• 1:03:48
  Speaker 1: about your intentions with marriage and even the timeline of it.
• 1:03:51
  Speaker 1: And then you turn 24 and he's like, ah, we'll
• 1:03:54
  Speaker 1: just push it on down to 26.
• 1:03:56
  Speaker 2: People say things and people do things. Which one speaks louder?
• 1:04:01
  Speaker 3: The doers.
• 1:04:03
  Speaker 2: And we know what he's not doing.
• 1:04:05
  Speaker 3: Not proposing.
• 1:04:06
  Speaker 2: And he's not having those talks with you anymore. That's
• 1:04:07
  Speaker 2: like a clear sign of he's not going to make
• 1:04:10
  Speaker 2: any sort of progress on this.
• 1:04:12
  Speaker 1: OP continues. We're both in a good place financially. We
• 1:04:15
  Speaker 1: both work in tech and we have calculated our finances
• 1:04:18
  Speaker 1: and we'd have enough to cover both the cost of
• 1:04:20
  Speaker 1: the wedding and the down payment of a house at
• 1:04:23
  Speaker 1: this moment. Our families approve us. Our careers are in
• 1:04:26
  Speaker 1: a good position. We love each other. We both want kids.
• 1:04:29
  Speaker 1: We've been together and living together for years. and have
• 1:04:33
  Speaker 1: had no major conflict so far. Even he has admitted
• 1:04:37
  Speaker 1: that he is procrastinating. Right now, I'm just disappointed and tired.
• 1:04:42
  Speaker 1: I feel unwanted. I know logically I'm still considered young
• 1:04:46
  Speaker 1: and have years to try for kids, but I feel
• 1:04:49
  Speaker 1: like if it doesn't happen in the next couple years,
• 1:04:51
  Speaker 1: I'm going to hate him forever for denying me one
• 1:04:54
  Speaker 1: of my life goals. Thanks for reading. If you've managed
• 1:04:57
  Speaker 1: to get all the way down here, Should I hold
• 1:05:00
  Speaker 1: on with the risk of ending up resenting him, or
• 1:05:01
  Speaker 1: should I break it off and give up the dream
• 1:05:03
  Speaker 1: I've had my entire life? There's an edit, but.
• 1:05:06
  Speaker 2: Everyone, put your theories down right now. Alvin says, so
• 1:05:09
  Speaker 2: commitment issues, he can't commit. But what he has for
• 1:05:13
  Speaker 2: the past four years is the confusing part.
• 1:05:14
  Speaker 1: I think the main crux to this, unfortunately, doesn't even
• 1:05:19
  Speaker 1: really lie in OP's partner. I think that the big
• 1:05:23
  Speaker 1: crux for OP is the dream of being married at
• 1:05:27
  Speaker 1: X time, at X age... Don't know if it's going
• 1:05:30
  Speaker 1: to happen. It's not going to happen whether you stay
• 1:05:33
  Speaker 1: with him. It's not going to happen whether you break
• 1:05:35
  Speaker 1: up with him. So at the end of the day,
• 1:05:38
  Speaker 1: the real issue is you're going to have to let
• 1:05:40
  Speaker 1: go of that idea that you've had. And it's really,
• 1:05:43
  Speaker 1: really hard to do when you've been thinking it your
• 1:05:45
  Speaker 1: entire life.
• 1:05:46
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and that's kind of been your purpose in life too.
• 1:05:49
  Speaker 2: Your dream, like this is what I'm going to accomplish.
• 1:05:51
  Speaker 2: That's tough. It feels like she wants to get married
• 1:05:54
  Speaker 2: for marriage sake and he happens to be the guy
• 1:05:58
  Speaker 2: she's dating.
• 1:05:59
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it does. It's like, I think they care about
• 1:06:02
  Speaker 1: each other. But her thing is, it's like, there's a
• 1:06:04
  Speaker 1: finish line and I have to cross it before this
• 1:06:06
  Speaker 1: time where I lost. And it's like, it's a fixation.
• 1:06:11
  Speaker 1: But it's also fair if you just want to be married.
• 1:06:14
  Speaker 1: And he's like, I don't know. I kind of don't.
• 1:06:19
  Speaker 1: Let's check back in later. And then you guys just
• 1:06:21
  Speaker 1: never do it. Neither of you are behaving in a
• 1:06:23
  Speaker 1: sustainable way for the relationship.
• 1:06:25
  Speaker 2: Yeah, agreed.
• 1:06:26
  Speaker 1: Edit, I'll bring up the conversation again in the near
• 1:06:28
  Speaker 1: future and probably suggest counseling and ask for an actual plan.
• 1:06:32
  Speaker 1: I didn't actually expect that the words I've been telling
• 1:06:34
  Speaker 1: myself seem to be the general consensus. I was honestly
• 1:06:38
  Speaker 1: expecting to be called demanding and some nasty names. I
• 1:06:42
  Speaker 1: think that also speaks volumes to your, you know, baseline
• 1:06:48
  Speaker 1: anticipating just saying it out loud is like, yeah, I'm
• 1:06:51
  Speaker 1: bad and wrong and everything sucks and I'm demanding. I
• 1:06:54
  Speaker 1: think there's a lot going on maybe you guys could
• 1:06:55
  Speaker 1: figure out outside of a relationship. So, finally had another
• 1:07:00
  Speaker 1: talk with him about it and insisted he give me
• 1:07:02
  Speaker 1: a firm date. Our current target right now is to
• 1:07:06
  Speaker 1: be married before we turn 29. So, before late 2021.
• 1:07:10
  Speaker 1: Over the weekend, before we had our talk where I
• 1:07:13
  Speaker 1: made him give me a latest by date, but after
• 1:07:15
  Speaker 1: I made a comment about what happened to our fortnightly talks.
• 1:07:19
  Speaker 1: He brought me to a few different jewelry shops to
• 1:07:22
  Speaker 1: look at engagement rings. Oh, nice. He was surprisingly knowledgeable
• 1:07:27
  Speaker 1: about rings. It seems like he has actually been doing research.
• 1:07:31
  Speaker 1: For example, he knew what the different parts of the
• 1:07:33
  Speaker 1: ring are called.
• 1:07:35
  Speaker 5: Whoa.
• 1:07:36
  Speaker 2: That's the shiny part. That's the holdy together part.
• 1:07:40
  Speaker 1: That's the rock and that's the metal. And then that's
• 1:07:44
  Speaker 1: the part you put your finger in. He suggested me
• 1:07:48
  Speaker 1: holding out my hand at particular angles to look at
• 1:07:51
  Speaker 1: it and knew about the seas of diamonds. I didn't
• 1:07:55
  Speaker 1: even know the band part of a ring could have
• 1:07:57
  Speaker 1: different designs until we looked at a few pieces. We
• 1:08:00
  Speaker 1: tried on many different engagement rings and also wedding bands
• 1:08:03
  Speaker 1: to match the engagement rings with. He asked the shop
• 1:08:07
  Speaker 1: about possible customization options and asked them for the model
• 1:08:10
  Speaker 1: numbers written on the name card of the salesperson who
• 1:08:13
  Speaker 1: attended to us. It was kind of fun... Personally, I
• 1:08:17
  Speaker 1: was more concerned about how the design of the band looked,
• 1:08:19
  Speaker 1: but he seemed concerned about whether it can fit a.
• 1:08:22
  Speaker 1: 5 carat diamond, which I'm guessing is what he wants
• 1:08:25
  Speaker 1: to buy, although the size of a diamond doesn't really
• 1:08:27
  Speaker 1: matter to me at all. I think he likes tradition.
• 1:08:30
  Speaker 1: If any questions come in on why I was basically
• 1:08:33
  Speaker 1: picking out my own ring, which doesn't even need to
• 1:08:35
  Speaker 1: be questioned because it's a very normal thing to do, well,
• 1:08:38
  Speaker 1: I told y'all he's an overthinker. He doesn't want to
• 1:08:40
  Speaker 1: buy something I don't like. What do you guys think?
• 1:08:44
  Speaker 1: Right now, to me, it seems like he has put
• 1:08:46
  Speaker 1: thoughts about this independently by doing research and is not
• 1:08:51
  Speaker 1: just thinking about it only when I say something. And
• 1:08:54
  Speaker 1: there is an update.
• 1:08:55
  Speaker 2: Number two. Honestly, what's your gut feeling on this? That's
• 1:08:58
  Speaker 2: what I'd ask you first, OP. The fact that he
• 1:09:00
  Speaker 2: knows different parts of a ring, he's put thought into it.
• 1:09:03
  Speaker 2: He has thought about marrying you and what that looks like.
• 1:09:05
  Speaker 1: I think you guys need to work this out in
• 1:09:07
  Speaker 1: couples counseling so that he and you can both at
• 1:09:12
  Speaker 1: the same time get to the bottom of what makes
• 1:09:15
  Speaker 1: him reluctant to get married. And what really makes you
• 1:09:19
  Speaker 1: so driven to be married by a certain time.
• 1:09:21
  Speaker 2: It seems like he's uncomfortable. Doesn't know how to say
• 1:09:24
  Speaker 2: it to you. You're close. This is a great step though.
• 1:09:27
  Speaker 2: I like it.
• 1:09:31
  Speaker 1: The direction we're heading in is in resolution.
• 1:09:35
  Speaker 2: Not resolute.
• 1:09:37
  Speaker 1: Update number two. So much has happened over the last year.
• 1:09:41
  Speaker 3: Oh, let's go.
• 1:09:44
  Speaker 2: It's been a year.
• 1:09:45
  Speaker 5: We're still together.
• 1:09:46
  Speaker 1: There were sadly passings in the family. Less let's go
• 1:09:49
  Speaker 1: energy for that. A new job. A house move among
• 1:09:54
  Speaker 1: the most notable happenings. I could feel myself going into
• 1:09:57
  Speaker 1: the state similar to the height of my depression around
• 1:09:59
  Speaker 1: the time that I posted the original post last year.
• 1:10:03
  Speaker 1: It wasn't just my relationship, but it was my job,
• 1:10:05
  Speaker 1: my friendships, my place, and the other activities I'm involved with.
• 1:10:09
  Speaker 2: So, did he propose... Did he do it? Let's all
• 1:10:15
  Speaker 2: put our guesses in right now. One for yes, two
• 1:10:18
  Speaker 2: for no. Keon, what do you think?
• 1:10:20
  Speaker 5: I'm going with one.
• 1:10:22
  Speaker 3: Yes, he did.
• 1:10:23
  Speaker 5: At least, like, got the ring. She knows about it.
• 1:10:27
  Speaker 2: They're engaged.
• 1:10:27
  Speaker 5: They're engaged.
• 1:10:29
  Speaker 1: Think so, too, Dakota? I think they're putting in the work.
• 1:10:32
  Speaker 2: I think it's a two. I don't think they are.
• 1:10:34
  Speaker 3: Oh.
• 1:10:35
  Speaker 5: All right.
• 1:10:35
  Speaker 3: Here we go.
• 1:10:36
  Speaker 1: Let's find out. Despite the advice here, I wasn't willing
• 1:10:40
  Speaker 1: to let go of my relationship yet.
• 1:10:42
  Speaker 3: And I don't regret it. More on that later.
• 1:10:45
  Speaker 1: So I changed the other aspects of my life that
• 1:10:47
  Speaker 1: I could change. The most important one being that I
• 1:10:50
  Speaker 1: quit my job that I realized I was beginning to
• 1:10:52
  Speaker 1: hate and got a significantly higher paying one with much
• 1:10:56
  Speaker 1: better bosses too. I also moved out, picked up a
• 1:10:59
  Speaker 1: couple new life skills and started doing things independently. I've
• 1:11:02
  Speaker 1: also seen a gyna and it looks like everything is
• 1:11:06
  Speaker 1: fine and normal on that front.
• 1:11:09
  Speaker 2: Oh, for children.
• 1:11:11
  Speaker 1: For her dino... gino.
• 1:11:14
  Speaker 2: For her fertile nest.
• 1:11:16
  Speaker 1: A dynamic gynamic.
• 1:11:18
  Speaker 2: I'm not a dynamic, but I'll take a look.
• 1:11:20
  Speaker 1: I'm not dynamic, but I support anything anyone chooses to do,
• 1:11:23
  Speaker 1: as long as it's not hurting anybody.
• 1:11:24
  Speaker 2: Or making people feel sad.
• 1:11:26
  Speaker 1: Doing these really helped improve my mental state. I still
• 1:11:30
  Speaker 1: want those things as I described in my previous post,
• 1:11:33
  Speaker 1: but I felt better about myself, even if I didn't
• 1:11:37
  Speaker 1: get those things in life. But anyway... He came through
• 1:11:40
  Speaker 1: with an awesomely planned proposal and I've been engaged for
• 1:11:43
  Speaker 1: a few months now.
• 1:11:44
  Speaker 5: Called it.
• 1:11:45
  Speaker 1: They did it.
• 1:11:46
  Speaker 5: Give me my money.
• 1:11:47
  Speaker 2: I lost a bet.
• 1:11:48
  Speaker 1: We already have a date to be married early next year.
• 1:11:51
  Speaker 1: Hopefully things with David won't spill into 2021.
• 1:11:56
  Speaker 2: Oh no. Been there. We know what happens.
• 1:11:58
  Speaker 1: We know the future. I have bad news. The reason
• 1:12:01
  Speaker 1: why I don't regret not letting go of the relationship
• 1:12:04
  Speaker 1: is because he's been so involved in planning our future
• 1:12:06
  Speaker 1: over the last few months, like finances and housing and
• 1:12:09
  Speaker 1: Cultural pre-wedding things. So I know he is serious and
• 1:12:12
  Speaker 1: he is finally ready, which is completely different from when
• 1:12:15
  Speaker 1: I made the first post. I will be deactivating this
• 1:12:19
  Speaker 1: account because I don't need it anymore. I'm in a
• 1:12:22
  Speaker 1: better place mentally, married or not. Thanks for the input, everyone.
• 1:12:26
  Speaker 1: That's the end of that story.
• 1:12:27
  Speaker 2: Let's go. All right. That's pretty solid, dude. I like it.
• 1:12:32
  Speaker 2: I like it a lot. Well, that was a good story.
• 1:12:36
  Speaker 3: I'm glad they're engaged.
• 1:12:36
  Speaker 2: It looks like she'll have babies within the near future.
• 1:12:40
  Speaker 1: And that's the end of this story.