Latest / The Mental Healness Podcast / Can a narcissist really love you or care about you?

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Can a narcissist really love you or care about you? · The Mental Healness Podcast

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  What is going on? Beautiful people.
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  Welcome to another episode of the nurses is code.
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  I mean favorite self-aware, narcissist mr.
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  Lee hammock better known as mental illness across all social
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  media platforms. This your first time seeing my
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  face or here in my lovely voice. I'm a clinically diagnosed
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  Narcissus and I use my platform on social media to raise
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  awareness for NBD. Get more people in the therapy
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  and also validate the victims. Survivors, and thrivers of said,
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  toxic traits said, toxic disorder said, toxic everything
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  we know about not a narcissist, but you understand the behaviors
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  to Today's episode is going to be about the narcissist ever
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  really loved you. So many people ask me this
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  question y'all. So many people asking me this
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  question before we hop in today's video you already know
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  these self-love Journal myself. Love Journal.
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  I love me. A self-love Journal.
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  Baili Han book is available on Amazon.
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  Link is in the description for more or you can search lie
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  hammock self-love or Amazon and it pops right on up.
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  Yeah, if you already bought the journal, I'm super appreciative
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  of you. I really truly am.
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  Thank y'all so much but yeah. Due to not did it a narcissist
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  ever really loved you? This is a quick exit.
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  I get this question a lot. Yeah, so can ours is love you.
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  So this is my perspective. Y'all, You can disagree with me.
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  All you want to y'all and I'm not.
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  As I'm not saying, I might decision or my perspective is
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  the end, all be all. I'm just saying you can feel
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  free to disagree with me. There's no disrespect me.
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  That's why this is our that's all I ask disagree.
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  Don't disrespect, I can disagree with you.
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  You can do screw with me and we can still be cool.
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  Cool. You know me.
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  This was like this. Don't respect me, but do I
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  believe in ourselves can love you.
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  I think there's some nurses actually have the ability to
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  love you. I just do that.
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  Just my perspective. I think I can love.
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  I've seen other people who I think can love.
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  I think they love you but does it love?
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  Run out and I know people will say well that's what this war
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  ends it right there. Leaked the love never runs out.
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  It runs low. Yeah, it runs low and narcissist
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  want to refill that love tank immediately during the
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  love-bombing phase. I truly necessary.
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  A now, I haven't written one child truly believe that I was
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  absolutely or I am absolutely in love.
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  I am infatuated with you. I love everything about you.
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  Like I feel like I found my person.
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  I want our future to align. I want everything to align
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  together. I will tell you like sometimes
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  doing it about me page. It's not always going to be the
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  truth. Y'all sometimes they will lie to
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  you. It make it seem like y'all want
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  the same things and that's what a lot of people do.
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  They will absolutely. Look, you directly into your
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  face and lie to you and say tell you that they want the same
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  things to get you to come with them to get you to fall for
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  them. Like damn, I want you.
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  I love you so much alike. I might not even really want
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  kids but you want to Or three of them, that's your dream to have,
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  be able to be a father or to be a mother, but I don't even
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  really want kids, but I want you, I feel like we are perfect.
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  I can change. I can change that we can deal
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  with that later. You mean, we can't We're not
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  gonna have a kid tomorrow, so that's something we can deal
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  with later. So I might even, we might not
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  even have same goals and dreams and Ambitions but I want you as
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  a person because I feel like I love you like goodness gracious,
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  it is intense you out a feelings are intense, which is why I do
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  believe that some narcissists are at can actually be a It to
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  the love-bombing phase because how it feels.
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  This is the for for you for you. The person dealing with a
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  narcissist or tax person for you, the love-bombing phase.
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  If you got love bomb, not everybody gets love Mom, but for
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  you, the love on me. Phase is the best part of the
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  relationship, but also for the narcissistic person that you're
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  dealing with the same thing applies.
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  This is the best part of the relationship for us to I love
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  the Love, on my face. I'm just like, let me give me
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  somebody to love by my need to drop a bomb on somebody.
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  You know, me? That's how I'll be filming.
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  But that's how a lot of narcissistic people.
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  Thank you all. We want the love to flow like
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  that. We want the love to continue to
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  move forward. We want this, we want to be in
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  this in this space because it makes us feel good about
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  ourselves. We absolutely enjoy the Love on
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  me face so we can because we think we found the person.
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  And that's why you see the Love on me face is also referred to
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  consistently as the idealization phase.
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  We create this idealized image of you that we fall in love
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  with, like, we took to us, Us, you are the perfect person
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  because we just getting to know you.
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  We look at you as Perfection, personified.
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  You are perfect to us. No matter what you have going
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  on. We wait what we see and what we
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  hear of front right now we pray. We idealize that we love it, to
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  be to the Gap, to the, to the loving, to the core y'all.
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  We love it to the core. Like, Lord of Mercy.
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  We love it. You know, we love it so damn
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  much to the court. What we cherish you we just give
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  you, we try to give you everything that you want in a we
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  try to make Goals and dreams. Align, we talk about
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  compromising certain things, what not like, I'll do this for
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  you. I wouldn't normally do this for
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  anybody else, but for you, I'll do this for you lying the whole
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  damn time Knowing damn. Well, I don't really want to do
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  that, but I don't want you to leave, because I think you're
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  perfect. There's nobody else better for
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  me right now, then you in, this is the crazy thing about it is
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  job. Don't hate me when I say this.
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  Do not hate me when I say this, but this is because this is the
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  crazy thing about it is the narcissistic person that is
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  loved by me. You can absolutely be in a
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  relationship or marriage. Is somebody else.
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  They can absolutely feel like you have the perfect person for
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  them and be with somebody else. That's crazy how the mind works.
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  Because narcissistic people are very good at
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  compartmentalization because we think we can love you and we can
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  love them separately and it doesn't affect one another.
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  You say I'm saying, but we think we can let we think right now we
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  met you we idealize you and we create this perfect image of you
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  in our heads that we want this version of you, you're perfect.
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  As we love that, you love you everything about you.
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  So we try to Take up all your time, take a ball of your, take
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  a ball of your freedom. Take about, we doing all this
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  stuff because we don't want to let you go at all.
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  You know, mean we want to keep you around for every damn near
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  forever. Yeah we want to keep you around
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  forever but that's how it goes. I tell people like we want to
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  keep you around forever in the Love on my face we just throwing
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  we're all in we're all that we're pushing is like we playing
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  poker with pushing all that chips to the center of the
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  table, you know? Hey I'm all in and we want you
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  to be all the into because once you push your chips into the
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  center of the table, we got you. We tell you the widget we tell
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  you that we are all in but a lot of times we have a couple of
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  chips in my pocket. You can see that you can sleep
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  easy, easy me, slip slip, a couple of poker chips in my
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  pocket. You think we're all in your all
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  in you please are, they are doing here.
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  I'm not laughing a job promise. I just it's just the imagery of
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  this silliness. I say something like you push
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  all your chips to this end of the table, we're watching you.
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  And we're putting the Summer Night Shift, back in their
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  pockets because we don't trust it all the time but I was
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  somebody narcissistic. People have these reservations.
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  I don't trust at all times if they always the answer.
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  The extra chips in our pocket off a backup Supply you soon as
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  a backup options just in case we had to have some chips for other
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  people, you know? I mean you're all in you don't
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  cut anybody else off you know stop you don't get off the
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  dating apps. We got we still got a profile
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  active on Tinder, you know, we still active on Bumble, we still
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  swiping here and there just in case you don't mean, we still
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  swiping, just in case you're all in, you know, the once the
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  love-bombing phase in jail, once he loved by me runs out, that's
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  when you have it. That's when we have a problem.
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  Once was It's the perfect image of you is shattered.
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  You do once you do something to that narcissistic person that
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  there's a dead, it's outside the scope of this perceived
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  Perfection. It's over the love damn near
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  almost instantaneously goes away and it can be anything.
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  You know, keeping something small, it'd be something very
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  minut. You could say something
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  different, you can act differently, you can open your
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  mouth and that person's perspective view changes.
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  They love the image that they love has now shattered.
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  And their love is very as hell to love.
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  Always down, you mean the image is shattered but you know, even
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  even when glass breaks, you can see the broken glass on the
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  ground. So the glass is still there.
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  The image is still there is just shattered, and like I said, just
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  imagine a piece of glass shatters, it's still there.
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  We can still see it, we can still touch that glass, but it's
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  all out of order now. It's impossible to put it back
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  together, which is why you can't put their lives back together
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  for a narcissistic person. Once the image is shattered, you
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  cannot recreate that image. So the love will never be the
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  same again. So and I was asking the love
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  will never be the same again and I was always ask people like are
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  they treating you like they love you and most people gonna say no
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  there's like no not right now. Hmm, in the beginning, it is but
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  not right now. I don't know why the love has
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  been taken away because Lord narcissistic people off a lot of
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  them out of us. Offer this version of love this,
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  this highly conditional. And I know what are people going
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  to say? Love to not be conditioned.
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  Yeah, just let me just let me speak.
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  Let me, let me cook. I'll send a new dress, a new me.
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  The keys they let him cook, let me cook, you know, me but that's
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  how it goes that. We look at.
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  We The Perfect Image has been shattered.
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  Your Perfect Image has been fractured so we is conditional.
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  We love you based on what we thought we knew about you now to
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  new information has been new information has been received.
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  We don't love you anymore. It's just like not, not as much
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  anymore. I'm not saying the love is
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  completely gone, but it's very, it's very little.
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  Now is Goin downhill fast. You something.
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  It's like a Like a boulder, you push it down hill, it just picks
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  up, you know, picks up, you know, inertia and just keep
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  moving forward because of energies keeps rolling out here.
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  That's how it is right now, it's going downhill.
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  The love is going down here is Goin downhill fast and sometimes
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  it does completely, it does completely go away.
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  If you go back to that poker chip analogy, that's when we
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  cash in the chips that we put in our pocket.
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  You mean? That's what we look to cash.
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  In those chips that we stored away and we put into our pocket.
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  That's when we look to cash in on those.
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  Okay. Good thing.
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  I didn't put Good thing. I had this back these backup
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  Chisholm chips in my pocket, so I can go find a new Supply.
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  You said I'm saying? So the narcissistic person
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  probably started all through loving you.
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  And they might still a virgin, they might still love you a
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  little bit. I'm not gonna say, they
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  completely just don't care about you because you you'll see a lot
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  of channels that just say that the narcissist never loved you.
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  And this is the thing right here and I see people say that I
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  understand why they say it, because they think it is going
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  to help people heal, which it does happen, it does help.
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  Some people heal to understand, it's the person might not have
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  ever loved you, but I just feel like to me, it's kind of wild to
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  tell somebody that they been in a relationship for 40 years or
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  somebody did somebody that somebody that did that.
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  Did they bent narcissistic robot of resetting?
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  Talking too fast. Stuttering my words and a but
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  reboot it. It's to me.
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  Is it be super hard to tell somebody that they've been
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  married to for 40 years? They person never loved you.
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  You've been 40 years with somebody that never I really
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  loved you. I can't.
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  I don't I can't tell us. Why today y'all and I have a
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  personality disorder. Would come to the lack of
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  empathy. A lot of times, I just can't
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  tell somebody their 40 years is by, who didn't love you?
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  That person. They could drive somebody crazy.
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  So I've like sometimes narcissist love you up to the
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  capacity. They think that they can love
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  which might not be enough for you, and yes, some of them, a
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  lot of them do not know how to love.
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  They can't express it in a healthy way.
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  About it. So I do believe a lot of nurses,
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  do they have? Loved you for A Certain period
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  of time and did love you for a certain period of time, they
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  have to love minimize and went down and sometimes going away.
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  Yeah, probably some time. A lot of times, it has gone
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  away, but sometimes it's still there and little bits and
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  pieces, you know, they don't ever really fully discard you,
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  you know, they disk, they might discard your emotionally, but
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  they keep you around physically because they care about your
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  little bit here and there. I'm not saying, they never loved
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  you and this is not me, trying to tell you to take back a toxic
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  part of that. You thought never loved you.
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  I'm not, don't I'm not. Saying that at all.
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  I'm just saying that maybe they would if they would, if they
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  loved you up to the capacity of their up to their full capacity
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  and it was just nowhere near enough for you.
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  What if that was the truth, you know, I feel like they can help
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  people heal to is that the tell us about it.
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  Hey I know you it husband. Did you been married to it and
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  wife have been married to for 45 years that you have kids with
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  and grandkids wooden great grandkids with that?
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  You build a life with that person never ever loved you or
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  useless that you are the pond to them.
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  Poof but y'all say narcissist don't have hearts I just can't
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  let somebody in the face until you tell you the apartment.
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  I've loved you ever did that just was thinking a lot you
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  know. And that's coming from a person
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  has been clinically diagnosed with narcissistic personality
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  disorder with schizophrenia traits and very, very high on
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  the paranoia scale. So anyway, she'll take the
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  ugliest, take this episode, a grain of salt take with a grain
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  of love. If you haven't already y'all, if
• 12:50
  you're on YouTube channel, join the channel memberships.
• 12:53
  Yeah, I have Different tiers of membership, my Vlog.
• 12:57
  I do is pretty funny. My wife does videos too and
• 13:01
  whatnot on the Vlog level and whatnot.
• 13:04
  So, if you haven't already join the channel memberships, the
• 13:07
  link is in the description of every single video I do.
• 13:09
  Or you can go to the front page of my channel.
• 13:11
  It just hit join, you know, he did join button.
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  You know, one of the membership is three dollars a month and
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  this just gives you a priority reply to the comments.
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  I can filter the comments by members.
• 13:21
  I go write your comment your name.
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  I just did it. Yes.
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  I went through there and some he said the long question but I
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  responded to a good. Remember.
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  Thank you. But it was a like And subscribe
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  for more. And as always, it's always the
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  to wholeness is out. Peace.