Latest / We Talk Back / Masculinity In Crysus Mode feat. Terry Capelton

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Masculinity In Crysus Mode feat. Terry Capelton · We Talk Back

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Welcome to We Talk Back Podcast, the production of iHeartRadio
• 0:04
  Speaker 1: and the Black Effect Network.
• 0:08
  Speaker 2: We're just two unapologetically black women with an opinion. Who talks.
• 0:16
  Speaker 1: What's up?
• 0:16
  Speaker 2: Y'all?
• 0:17
  Speaker 1: Is your girl a j holiday?
• 0:19
  Speaker 2: What's up?
• 0:19
  Speaker 1: Big dam damn?
• 0:20
  Speaker 2: What's up, y'all?
• 0:21
  Speaker 3: I'm miss y'all.
• 0:22
  Speaker 2: I love y'all so much. How was your weekend? Aj?
• 0:28
  Speaker 1: I can't talk about it online. It's great, so that crazy? Yeah,
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: I had a good weekend, real good weekend, New Bay
• 0:41
  Speaker 1: what okay, of course not, it's all about me.
• 0:46
  Speaker 2: Were excellent, y'all. I did a big eye week.
• 0:52
  Speaker 1: No, I had a good weekend. No hanging out around town. Nice,
• 0:58
  Speaker 1: hot as fuck. Okay, my car is screaming. It's ninety
• 1:02
  Speaker 1: seven degrees outside and this only Yeah, just like having
• 1:07
  Speaker 1: a shower three times, just you know, natural deorderant.
• 1:15
  Speaker 2: It don't play well right now, it don't.
• 1:18
  Speaker 3: I want to be as as I used to anyway, good,
• 1:22
  Speaker 3: that's debatable.
• 1:25
  Speaker 2: I I went away, y'allf for my birthday. I was
• 1:28
  Speaker 2: gone for an entire week and I just had such
• 1:32
  Speaker 2: a good time.
• 1:33
  Speaker 3: I just needed that break from just everything.
• 1:37
  Speaker 2: And I was in the I was in Europe, and
• 1:40
  Speaker 2: then after I got back from Europe. I went to
• 1:42
  Speaker 2: New York for a couple of days and I just
• 1:45
  Speaker 2: got back. I left last Monday, and I just I'm tired. Now.
• 1:49
  Speaker 1: Don't have to do nothing right, No.
• 1:52
  Speaker 2: I didn't have to think. I didn't have to think
• 1:55
  Speaker 2: about shit. I just get pretty and show up. Oh
• 2:00
  Speaker 2: I just wish that could be my whole life, Like
• 2:03
  Speaker 2: they can just pretty to show up.
• 2:06
  Speaker 1: That's what we're working towards, you know what I'm saying.
• 2:08
  Speaker 1: But the thing is, then you be booked and busy. Yeah,
• 2:11
  Speaker 1: it just ain't never gonna be just what you want
• 2:13
  Speaker 1: to do. Somebody feed me grapes. I was getting foot
• 2:16
  Speaker 1: massage or eating grapes at the same time.
• 2:19
  Speaker 3: I was like, I'm a queen, Like, how do you
• 2:24
  Speaker 3: go back?
• 2:25
  Speaker 4: How do you go back?
• 2:29
  Speaker 3: As soon as I got back to America, it was
• 2:31
  Speaker 3: the bullshit.
• 2:32
  Speaker 2: Almost got hit by a car.
• 2:34
  Speaker 1: Bitch, get out the straight in New York.
• 2:38
  Speaker 3: I'm back planning America.
• 2:41
  Speaker 1: You know. I saw this video on tiktoking with some guys.
• 2:43
  Speaker 1: I think they might have been like I don't know, Panama.
• 2:48
  Speaker 1: I think maybe, but they're just saying like, how like
• 2:51
  Speaker 1: you know a little bit of money you know over
• 2:53
  Speaker 1: there you can really live like a king or a queen.
• 2:56
  Speaker 1: America is just fucking stressful. It's just reads right on
• 3:01
  Speaker 1: this planet. I swear to God when I'm in the Caribbean,
• 3:03
  Speaker 1: I don't have no I don't have to do none
• 3:07
  Speaker 1: of that shit. Just be clear, breathing shit, using the
• 3:12
  Speaker 1: bathroom every day. Like it's just.
• 3:14
  Speaker 3: Different, different, it really is. She's called in America, man,
• 3:20
  Speaker 3: so shout out to taking vacations. But speaking of vacation,
• 3:25
  Speaker 3: Malcolm Jamal Warner, y'all went to Costa Rica on vacation
• 3:29
  Speaker 3: and we lost him. That was like losing an uncle.
• 3:34
  Speaker 2: You know.
• 3:35
  Speaker 1: I just don't understand, but it definitely happens.
• 3:40
  Speaker 2: It's just and I was just looking at the statistics
• 3:43
  Speaker 2: on a thousand Americans a year die on vacation annually.
• 3:51
  Speaker 2: Be it. The number one reason was like car accidents
• 3:55
  Speaker 2: but or a scooter some type of motor. But two
• 4:00
  Speaker 2: was drowning. That was the number two reason that people
• 4:03
  Speaker 2: die is on vacation.
• 4:07
  Speaker 3: Now, water ain't nothing to play with, y'all.
• 4:08
  Speaker 1: I remember there was a post where it showed like
• 4:12
  Speaker 1: the shoreline on back and most of the black people like,
• 4:15
  Speaker 1: I'm staying in the one and two, like I'll go,
• 4:18
  Speaker 1: I'll go out, you know what I'm saying, especially if
• 4:21
  Speaker 1: I got some braids, and if I got a lace front,
• 4:23
  Speaker 1: I'm at one and two. But if I got braids,
• 4:26
  Speaker 1: I'm out right.
• 4:27
  Speaker 2: But you gotta be careful with that for real.
• 4:29
  Speaker 1: No, that's what I'm saying. I got stuck on time,
• 4:32
  Speaker 1: so I know what that. So they're saying he got
• 4:34
  Speaker 1: stuck like in a ripcorn, you know, far out, and
• 4:37
  Speaker 1: then some bystanders did get him ashore, and then the
• 4:41
  Speaker 1: Costa Rican Red Cross tried to you know, revive him,
• 4:46
  Speaker 1: but he literally was gone right then. So he had been.
• 4:48
  Speaker 2: Out too long, too much water. Yep.
• 4:51
  Speaker 1: Yeah, but I remember struggling, like you know, you have
• 4:55
  Speaker 1: like those little snorkeling masks. But even with that, you
• 4:59
  Speaker 1: have to like breathe. So that's why, like breathing exercises
• 5:02
  Speaker 1: are real good too in cases situations like this. But
• 5:05
  Speaker 1: that shit makes you feel so tired trying to fight
• 5:09
  Speaker 1: against the current.
• 5:10
  Speaker 2: And then the thing is it's always the people who
• 5:14
  Speaker 2: are confident swimmers sometimes like confidence can be your downfall
• 5:19
  Speaker 2: because I ain't getting I typically don't go past ankle,
• 5:25
  Speaker 2: maybe I don't go in past my calf.
• 5:29
  Speaker 1: Really, so you don't get in the ocean then my calf.
• 5:33
  Speaker 1: I be like, no, I don't go I be floating
• 5:37
  Speaker 1: like I don't. I mean like I have went out
• 5:40
  Speaker 1: to where like I know, the bottom ain't nowhere to
• 5:42
  Speaker 1: be found. But hell no, when the water is like
• 5:47
  Speaker 1: you can tell when the water is crazy.
• 5:49
  Speaker 2: The only time is when I sit down the peek.
• 5:53
  Speaker 1: Girl, why are you even taking beach vacations? I'm confused now,
• 5:57
  Speaker 1: Like I'm even go in there to take pictures that
• 6:00
  Speaker 1: collects on. That's what I go for, dich. I'm a
• 6:03
  Speaker 1: home mermaid out here. I am going out water. I'm
• 6:07
  Speaker 1: going out man. I need to be able to see
• 6:09
  Speaker 1: my feet though, Like I'm not getting in Charleston water
• 6:12
  Speaker 1: past ingles.
• 6:13
  Speaker 2: They had this Charlotte boat weekend, and I don't know
• 6:16
  Speaker 2: if y'all saw the videos, y'all google it.
• 6:19
  Speaker 3: When it was that what's that black boat Norman?
• 6:22
  Speaker 2: It's either Norman or uh Wiley, I don't know which
• 6:25
  Speaker 2: one it was on. But first of all, these niggas
• 6:29
  Speaker 2: was fighting like it was a video, like one boat
• 6:32
  Speaker 2: you look at that, they fighting the next literally.
• 6:34
  Speaker 1: The boat that was Charlotte.
• 6:36
  Speaker 2: Yeah, in the video they was fighting the water look
• 6:40
  Speaker 2: all dirty and nasty, like I don't like.
• 6:42
  Speaker 3: It's a fun time, I imagine, but let's not video.
• 6:45
  Speaker 2: Let's not let people see that we out there in
• 6:48
  Speaker 2: that murky ass order. I'm not getting that.
• 6:51
  Speaker 1: That's so funny. You said that because on that same post,
• 6:54
  Speaker 1: I was on the phone when I saw it. I
• 6:56
  Speaker 1: was like, I am so sick of black people. Then
• 6:58
  Speaker 1: I went in the commons and I saw somebody was like,
• 7:01
  Speaker 1: just get old, ratchet. I'm tired of seeing this shit.
• 7:04
  Speaker 1: And I was, and I said to the person I
• 7:06
  Speaker 1: was on the phone with, like, get on, ratchet. Ain't
• 7:07
  Speaker 1: that bad, but just don't record it. I don't want
• 7:10
  Speaker 1: to see it. And I might want to be get
• 7:13
  Speaker 1: on a ratchet, but you will never see it on TV.
• 7:15
  Speaker 3: No mayn that time I had to say you for
• 7:17
  Speaker 3: the water, no bitch.
• 7:20
  Speaker 1: I was just about to say that. Y'all tell me
• 7:21
  Speaker 1: you had a blow birthday yacht party one time, and
• 7:26
  Speaker 1: I had just came back from Anguela swimming in level
• 7:29
  Speaker 1: twenty five. Okay, so now I'm thinking, like, okay, this
• 7:33
  Speaker 1: lake water, this ain't shit. The lake water is worse.
• 7:36
  Speaker 1: More people drowning lakes per year than in the ocean.
• 7:40
  Speaker 1: The current in the lake is different because y'all know
• 7:42
  Speaker 1: most lakes are built on top of old towns. Okay,
• 7:45
  Speaker 1: so when y'all hear this about Lake Norman, what's the
• 7:48
  Speaker 1: lake in Georgia that warbody never go to that damn lake?
• 7:52
  Speaker 1: Lamiir lanier la Neiir? Yeah, Lamiir is the fucking casino
• 7:58
  Speaker 1: in Saint Louis is it lumineer lumiir whatever? Anyway, Yeah,
• 8:03
  Speaker 1: lake in the mirror and Georgianire whatever niggas beginning, It's
• 8:09
  Speaker 1: really not.
• 8:11
  Speaker 2: Take so many people every year. I would never go.
• 8:13
  Speaker 1: To that, usually not black people, thought, so I don't.
• 8:16
  Speaker 1: I think black people really just don't go in there.
• 8:18
  Speaker 1: And then also the ancestors is probably pulling legs and
• 8:24
  Speaker 1: your birthday. I hopped in there, hopped in that lake
• 8:28
  Speaker 1: with no life that's on, thinking I could swim, And
• 8:31
  Speaker 1: when I tell y'all, the current was pulling.
• 8:33
  Speaker 3: Me under under the boat. Mind you, I was drinking too,
• 8:36
  Speaker 3: So just a whole thank you God moment right saving
• 8:41
  Speaker 3: me from myself. But y'all, you.
• 8:44
  Speaker 2: Definitely got to be the water, y'all.
• 8:47
  Speaker 3: It was not you that pulled me out.
• 8:48
  Speaker 4: It was a guy.
• 8:50
  Speaker 1: Girl. Imagine you lifting me out the ocean, out the water.
• 8:54
  Speaker 1: It was a dude. You might have had one of
• 8:56
  Speaker 1: my arms.
• 8:57
  Speaker 3: Yeah, and then I grabbed you and pulled you up.
• 9:00
  Speaker 1: It was definitely a whole man on the boat that
• 9:03
  Speaker 1: pulled me up. Shame man, you got to be careful, man, man.
• 9:08
  Speaker 1: Rest in peace, Malcolm and Jamal Warner. We all grew
• 9:11
  Speaker 1: up Austin Cosey show.
• 9:13
  Speaker 3: Y'allso I wren into that boat for my birthday.
• 9:15
  Speaker 2: I did not like there was jet skis. There was
• 9:17
  Speaker 2: little like looat and pat guess who didn't touch a
• 9:21
  Speaker 2: liquor water No.
• 9:23
  Speaker 1: And I was on the boat in a vest with
• 9:25
  Speaker 1: a captain had on. Yeah, shame.
• 9:31
  Speaker 2: So yeah, rest in peace, machaelm Jamal Warner, and like
• 9:33
  Speaker 2: life is so fleeting, like be kind to one another
• 9:38
  Speaker 2: and love each other because you just never know, man.
• 9:40
  Speaker 1: Absolutely yeah, So y'all. I don't know if Tam was
• 9:45
  Speaker 1: in attendance because she was in Europe, you know, this
• 9:47
  Speaker 1: past week.
• 9:48
  Speaker 3: But apparently UK's biggest sex.
• 9:51
  Speaker 1: Festival, swingeth On, returns with one thousand people in attendance. Bitch,
• 9:57
  Speaker 1: you think you swack? I was not there, So apparently
• 10:01
  Speaker 1: roughly one thousand thrill seekers have taken over a sleepy
• 10:05
  Speaker 1: Lincolnshire village for the for the UK's biggest swingers festival,
• 10:11
  Speaker 1: uh Dub swingeth On. The X rated three day event
• 10:15
  Speaker 1: is now its fifth year of drawing sexually liberated guests
• 10:20
  Speaker 1: from across the UK.
• 10:24
  Speaker 2: It's sank out there. Stay out there in tints, y'all.
• 10:28
  Speaker 2: It's like all kinds of tints on this big ass field,
• 10:31
  Speaker 2: lay out there just having sex with each other.
• 10:34
  Speaker 3: You probably can catch it on a porn hub.
• 10:37
  Speaker 2: Called the police.
• 10:41
  Speaker 1: I wonder if you gotta give any paperwork, like before
• 10:43
  Speaker 1: you come a thousand people, Like, out of a thousand people,
• 10:46
  Speaker 1: what is the statistics for like HIV?
• 10:49
  Speaker 2: And it's got to be some diseases out there.
• 10:52
  Speaker 1: Absolutely, And I'd be thinking like sometimes like people who
• 10:55
  Speaker 1: partaking like risky behavior, it's probably because they ain't got
• 10:57
  Speaker 1: shit to lose, Like should I already got the thing,
• 10:59
  Speaker 1: let me write.
• 11:00
  Speaker 2: I might as well go to the swinger throng and
• 11:03
  Speaker 2: give it to everybody.
• 11:05
  Speaker 1: Or like I don't give a funk shit. Yeah you
• 11:07
  Speaker 1: want to pussy, you get to pussy my mout head, neck, airs,
• 11:11
  Speaker 1: just every whole that's scary to me, no, cool.
• 11:15
  Speaker 2: I'm not into none of that stuff. Because people be
• 11:17
  Speaker 2: having like parties, I'll be getting invited to like some
• 11:19
  Speaker 2: mild shit and I'd be like, yeah, no, that's not
• 11:23
  Speaker 2: my vibe. I'm scared. When I was living in the UK,
• 11:29
  Speaker 2: they used to have like this little swingers group on
• 11:31
  Speaker 2: the military base.
• 11:33
  Speaker 3: And on the military base yep.
• 11:36
  Speaker 2: Girl, they used to be into some It was. It
• 11:38
  Speaker 2: was the white people though, and they would this was
• 11:43
  Speaker 2: your sign that your home was down for the they
• 11:46
  Speaker 2: get down. You would put a bottle of tide in
• 11:48
  Speaker 2: the window.
• 11:52
  Speaker 4: You know.
• 11:52
  Speaker 1: In Saint Louis they have it's like a particular flag
• 11:57
  Speaker 1: they put in their yard to let people know that
• 11:59
  Speaker 1: they down for swinging.
• 12:01
  Speaker 2: Mm hmm.
• 12:02
  Speaker 3: So they put a bottle of tide like with the rainbow,
• 12:05
  Speaker 3: doesn't I don't know. I don't know which tide it was,
• 12:09
  Speaker 3: but that was the indicator that you put it in
• 12:12
  Speaker 3: your window cell to let people know you're trying to
• 12:15
  Speaker 3: funk outside your relationship.
• 12:18
  Speaker 2: It just drow. What does that mean put some time
• 12:24
  Speaker 2: in your window?
• 12:26
  Speaker 1: I don't know. I am not interested in catching some
• 12:29
  Speaker 1: ship like quick you doubling, tripling, quadruple your chances of
• 12:34
  Speaker 1: running into some bullshit right fucking around.
• 12:38
  Speaker 2: That's not fun.
• 12:40
  Speaker 1: Find out some.
• 12:41
  Speaker 2: Person feel like work at that point, and there's.
• 12:45
  Speaker 1: A lot of dudes who be wanting three sims even
• 12:48
  Speaker 1: like I never understand why somebody would like a medium
• 12:51
  Speaker 1: dick like wants super fat ass? Why would you want
• 12:54
  Speaker 1: multiple women?
• 12:55
  Speaker 4: Like?
• 12:56
  Speaker 1: What's up? Are you okay?
• 12:57
  Speaker 2: Coming off fast? And now you got somebody hits one
• 13:00
  Speaker 2: woman sitting here mad? Sorry? Like I just all right?
• 13:06
  Speaker 2: If two people are having sex, what am I doing
• 13:09
  Speaker 2: during that time? If I just sitting there and I watching,
• 13:11
  Speaker 2: like what is it? Like? What am I if I'm
• 13:13
  Speaker 2: rubbing his foot or I'm giggling his balls from underneath,
• 13:16
  Speaker 2: Like I don't want what to do?
• 13:18
  Speaker 1: Well, it depends on what type of ship y'all got
• 13:20
  Speaker 1: going on, if it's a threesomewhere, like the women are
• 13:22
  Speaker 1: interacting as well, or is you just waiting your turn
• 13:27
  Speaker 1: for this one dude?
• 13:28
  Speaker 2: That's what I'm saying, Like what I wouldn't know what
• 13:29
  Speaker 2: to do. I would be awkward as fuck, like it's
• 13:32
  Speaker 2: just gonna rub your feet while you fuck her? Let
• 13:37
  Speaker 2: me tickling, nigga.
• 13:41
  Speaker 4: I would not know what to do, So I just kid.
• 13:45
  Speaker 1: And then you know, two guys and one girl, Like,
• 13:48
  Speaker 1: I don't know, that sounds not it's not a threesome.
• 13:51
  Speaker 2: That sounds like at that point they at work. I
• 13:53
  Speaker 2: don't want to.
• 13:55
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm cool on all that shit.
• 13:56
  Speaker 1: I am such a playing Jeane type bitch when it
• 13:59
  Speaker 1: comes like, the most freaky shit I'm doing is licking
• 14:01
  Speaker 1: the gooch.
• 14:02
  Speaker 2: Possibly listen. I was saying like, oh, yeah, I'm a freak,
• 14:05
  Speaker 2: That's what I would think. And then after the Dinny trial,
• 14:08
  Speaker 2: I realized that I've disapproved for real, I'm not a
• 14:12
  Speaker 2: vanilla sex That's what I happened.
• 14:14
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm not doing all that extra shit. And I
• 14:16
  Speaker 1: know I've said this before in the show. You do
• 14:19
  Speaker 1: all that extra shit for a man just because you
• 14:21
  Speaker 1: want him to like you fall in love. They gonna
• 14:23
  Speaker 1: keep pushing the limit on your ass. It's never gonna
• 14:26
  Speaker 1: be enough. You don't need to do all that shit
• 14:28
  Speaker 1: to come. You really don't, like, you don't need another person.
• 14:34
  Speaker 1: You don't need I mean, toys are good, you know,
• 14:38
  Speaker 1: but you don't need all this extra shit somebody trying
• 14:41
  Speaker 1: to get women to do to have an orgasm.
• 14:44
  Speaker 2: Not to say you have to set boundaries, you really do,
• 14:46
  Speaker 2: because If you don't, they can have you upside down,
• 14:49
  Speaker 2: dropping balls in your mouth off the couch.
• 14:55
  Speaker 1: I mean, I don't like balls, stand the purpose of balls,
• 15:01
  Speaker 1: but they just fucking ugly and they just be hanging
• 15:03
  Speaker 1: out there. Oh either, I saw somebody had like a
• 15:08
  Speaker 1: book bag made of two big ass nuts, white ones.
• 15:11
  Speaker 1: That that on Instagram yesterday, Like, what the fuck is
• 15:14
  Speaker 1: going on?
• 15:17
  Speaker 2: Goodness?
• 15:19
  Speaker 3: So apparently twenty.
• 15:21
  Speaker 1: Year olds today have the testosterone of seventy year olds
• 15:25
  Speaker 1: in nineteen seventies.
• 15:28
  Speaker 2: That's so crazy.
• 15:30
  Speaker 1: It says masculinity is down bad. Testosterone levels have dropped
• 15:35
  Speaker 1: thirty percent since two thousand. The average twenty two year
• 15:39
  Speaker 1: old has lower tea than a seventy year old had
• 15:43
  Speaker 1: in the nineteen seventies, And it says, what the fuck
• 15:46
  Speaker 1: is going on? So it says ninety percent of men
• 15:49
  Speaker 1: are low on testosterone. This crisis also includes dropping sperm
• 15:52
  Speaker 1: count and lower.
• 15:56
  Speaker 2: Ability utility.
• 15:57
  Speaker 1: No, it says motility.
• 15:58
  Speaker 2: Did he mean?
• 15:59
  Speaker 3: What the fuck?
• 16:00
  Speaker 1: I don't know, y'all tell us anyway. The drop in
• 16:03
  Speaker 1: fertility rate is doubled since the nineteen fifties, the results
• 16:08
  Speaker 1: of a world filled with endocrine disruptors, environmental toxins, stress
• 16:13
  Speaker 1: seed oils, elast and underwear, et cetera. If you want
• 16:18
  Speaker 1: to higher tea level, here's what you need to do.
• 16:21
  Speaker 1: Avoid seed oils. They basically alleviate your tescular temperature, lower
• 16:31
  Speaker 1: the star gene expression, and therefore the cells which are
• 16:35
  Speaker 1: meant to produce testosterone become lazy and unproductive. So like
• 16:41
  Speaker 1: seed oils, like peanut oil, that's a seed.
• 16:43
  Speaker 2: Oil, right, that's a nut oil.
• 16:46
  Speaker 1: Oh okay, well nuts aren't seeds? Plant nuts?
• 16:50
  Speaker 4: Yeah?
• 16:51
  Speaker 2: Are they seeds?
• 16:53
  Speaker 1: I guess? I guess, so vegetable oil would be a
• 16:57
  Speaker 1: seed oil.
• 16:59
  Speaker 2: Also peanut already. No, I don't know what's the seed oil?
• 17:03
  Speaker 2: Avocado oil?
• 17:06
  Speaker 1: I use alphacatta oil all the time.
• 17:08
  Speaker 2: Oil.
• 17:08
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't know.
• 17:10
  Speaker 2: So it means like the spurs ability to swim.
• 17:14
  Speaker 1: Okay, got it? Motility new word for the vocabulary test.
• 17:21
  Speaker 2: But you know what I've been talking about this because
• 17:23
  Speaker 2: I don't see no Adams Apple no more. Where is
• 17:26
  Speaker 2: the Adams Apple. It's gone.
• 17:30
  Speaker 3: I've seen them and they be protruding too much.
• 17:32
  Speaker 2: Yeah, but you don't see them as much.
• 17:38
  Speaker 1: Yeah. So, oh, canola oil it said on the diagram.
• 17:43
  Speaker 1: You can see that rats on the canola oil dyed
• 17:45
  Speaker 1: have lower stars. So star is important because it is
• 17:49
  Speaker 1: it is responsible for converting the cholesterol into testosterone. So
• 17:52
  Speaker 1: lower star equals lower test So canola oil, soybean oil,
• 18:00
  Speaker 1: so maybe men uh the best type of things they
• 18:04
  Speaker 1: say used beef tallow, coconut oil, grass fed butter, or
• 18:08
  Speaker 1: any animal fat extraversion. Olive oil. Yeah, I used you
• 18:12
  Speaker 1: all the time. That's usually what I use instead of butter,
• 18:17
  Speaker 1: And I use olive oil and grape seed oil. That
• 18:21
  Speaker 1: might not be good, right, but I'm not a man.
• 18:24
  Speaker 2: So here's that part.
• 18:26
  Speaker 1: But this post has a whole bunch of stuff in there,
• 18:28
  Speaker 1: Like yeah, that that explains a lot, you know what
• 18:32
  Speaker 1: I'm saying. Like and maybe y'all that's why I use
• 18:35
  Speaker 1: that app yuka because there is a chemical in most
• 18:39
  Speaker 1: of our products. It's like a it's like a chemical
• 18:43
  Speaker 1: chemical to help things like keep the shelf life like
• 18:46
  Speaker 1: a h what is the word I'm looking for?
• 18:49
  Speaker 2: Preservative?
• 18:50
  Speaker 1: Yeah, preservative. There you go. It's a preservative. But like
• 18:55
  Speaker 1: the number one thing is endocrine blocker causes fertility is
• 19:00
  Speaker 1: use There's so many chemicals in our food and especially
• 19:04
  Speaker 1: black hair products.
• 19:05
  Speaker 3: But I supposed to happen like in the Age of
• 19:08
  Speaker 3: Aquarius for us to get all information and also for
• 19:12
  Speaker 3: men to be more feminine.
• 19:16
  Speaker 1: I don't know about that part. Why then that means
• 19:19
  Speaker 1: men will eventually be extinct? Because if you notice, like
• 19:21
  Speaker 1: a lot of people are having female children as opposed
• 19:25
  Speaker 1: to boys are, we're not even creating them all to die,
• 19:30
  Speaker 1: but at we stall being able to jog at night?
• 19:33
  Speaker 2: Girl?
• 19:34
  Speaker 1: What is happening? I love men, y'all, but for I mean,
• 19:37
  Speaker 1: if you think about it now, why ain't nothing but
• 19:41
  Speaker 1: a broken X the chromosome? So sometimes these nigga should
• 19:46
  Speaker 1: be little half broken. It's still with the X part
• 19:49
  Speaker 1: the other side of the XT. And that's where that's
• 19:52
  Speaker 1: where you get the bent risks faster.
• 19:59
  Speaker 2: Y'all. We love men, y'all know, we love y'all. We
• 20:02
  Speaker 2: just like poking fun. Really speaking, I mean, why we
• 20:10
  Speaker 2: shitting on y'all this? We might as well do this
• 20:11
  Speaker 2: last one, all right? It says Chinese woman saying top
• 20:16
  Speaker 2: tier man is just an average woman. The bar is low,
• 20:20
  Speaker 2: and she went on this rat about how the average
• 20:25
  Speaker 2: woman is considered a top tier man in our society.
• 20:29
  Speaker 2: Like the things that we do and the things that
• 20:31
  Speaker 2: we provide these men. If they're doing that is top
• 20:34
  Speaker 2: tier when it's what we're doing every day. And it
• 20:37
  Speaker 2: went on to say that one black man said, a
• 20:40
  Speaker 2: black man without a criminal record makes you top tier.
• 20:44
  Speaker 2: And I had a woman impressed. I had furniture in
• 20:46
  Speaker 2: a bread a bed frame in my home. It was
• 20:49
  Speaker 2: like a whole conversation what she said, did you Yeah?
• 20:53
  Speaker 1: She was essentially saying, like, you know, like the basic
• 20:56
  Speaker 1: shit like cooking, cleaning, taking care of yourself, taking care
• 20:59
  Speaker 1: of your family, Like just that's a top taer man,
• 21:03
  Speaker 1: but that's basic for a woman. That is the basic,
• 21:07
  Speaker 1: the basis of being a woman. So essentially what she
• 21:10
  Speaker 1: was saying, like all these grandiose things that men think
• 21:13
  Speaker 1: that they're doing an accomplishing, it's actually, you know, the
• 21:18
  Speaker 1: average woman average. So the top tair man is the
• 21:21
  Speaker 1: average woman. Imagine that.
• 21:24
  Speaker 2: How do that make y'all feel? Man? Listening to that?
• 21:27
  Speaker 2: You offend it? I mean, that's what I mean. There
• 21:33
  Speaker 2: is some validity to that, But I mean not going
• 21:39
  Speaker 2: to prison like where they're from, because I don't know
• 21:43
  Speaker 2: a lot of the niggas that have been in prison.
• 21:44
  Speaker 2: I know, I mean, I know a lot of niggas
• 21:46
  Speaker 2: that's been in prison. But I know more than have it.
• 21:48
  Speaker 1: You know, I think it's pretty pretty equal. I mean,
• 21:53
  Speaker 1: for a black man in America, it is so easy
• 21:55
  Speaker 1: to catch a charge, you know what I'm saying, Like
• 21:57
  Speaker 1: they are trying to make sure every black man has
• 22:01
  Speaker 1: criminal history. I remember I was dating this dude and
• 22:03
  Speaker 1: me and him got into real bad because he had
• 22:06
  Speaker 1: this charge over his head for many years, like they
• 22:09
  Speaker 1: knew they couldn't charge. And what resistant it was like
• 22:11
  Speaker 1: resisting arrest of some bullshit. They literally was given his
• 22:15
  Speaker 1: brother taking harassing his brother and he just was sitting
• 22:17
  Speaker 1: happened to be sitting in the car, in his own
• 22:20
  Speaker 1: car when they pulled up to the house, and like
• 22:22
  Speaker 1: the police officer then came to his car and started
• 22:24
  Speaker 1: harassing him. Right, So what happened was he ended up
• 22:29
  Speaker 1: slamming this cop on the ground. Right. So once I
• 22:33
  Speaker 1: met him and he was telling me about it, and
• 22:35
  Speaker 1: he was like they were calling him like for.
• 22:37
  Speaker 4: What is it?
• 22:37
  Speaker 1: Like not jury duty, not jerry duty, Like what is shit?
• 22:43
  Speaker 1: You gotta keep going to court just to check in basically,
• 22:46
  Speaker 1: like like no, like a bench not a bench warrn anyway,
• 22:51
  Speaker 1: whatever it is, they want you to come check in
• 22:53
  Speaker 1: and make sure then the minute you're asked, don't show up.
• 22:55
  Speaker 1: Then you had a bench warrn basically like a roll
• 22:57
  Speaker 1: call essentially. But they kept doing the shit to him
• 23:01
  Speaker 1: for years, and he finally pled. He pled guilty to
• 23:05
  Speaker 1: like a lesser charge. I'm like, and when I talked
• 23:06
  Speaker 1: to him, I'm like, why the fuck did you do that?
• 23:08
  Speaker 1: Because you were in court exactly. They tired him out.
• 23:12
  Speaker 1: They would, they would, you would never ever get me
• 23:14
  Speaker 1: to agree to some shit out and fucking do right, right,
• 23:17
  Speaker 1: So I'll drag that shit out for ten years. I'll
• 23:19
  Speaker 1: play as long as they willing to play, Like, but
• 23:21
  Speaker 1: you got tired and you and then you got mad
• 23:23
  Speaker 1: at me for pointing out you being an idiot. Yeah,
• 23:27
  Speaker 1: but they were. They he was He had like a
• 23:30
  Speaker 1: CDO license to the officer was like, yeah, I'm gonna
• 23:31
  Speaker 1: make sure I get these licenses, like so then he
• 23:33
  Speaker 1: can't work and things like that. This is the stuff
• 23:36
  Speaker 1: that they do to black men, right, So it is
• 23:39
  Speaker 1: hard for a lot of niggas not to have, Like
• 23:41
  Speaker 1: I know, most black men that I know, I won't
• 23:45
  Speaker 1: say most, I'll say it's like half and half half
• 23:48
  Speaker 1: of them half criminal charges. Maybe they beat it and
• 23:51
  Speaker 1: didn't actually end up at the charge. And then the
• 23:53
  Speaker 1: other half probably just some time.
• 23:56
  Speaker 3: Yeah you know, well, I say, I know a lot
• 23:58
  Speaker 3: that had but I feel like I know more.
• 24:00
  Speaker 2: Men right now, right, yeah, they have not been But
• 24:06
  Speaker 2: then I listened, I just skated by a couple of times,
• 24:09
  Speaker 2: like I ain't never went to jail, but this was
• 24:11
  Speaker 2: probably should.
• 24:13
  Speaker 1: There are there are I forgot the number, but there
• 24:16
  Speaker 1: are over a thousand different statutes in America. Okay, all
• 24:20
  Speaker 1: of us has done, have done some shit where we
• 24:22
  Speaker 1: could have got fucked up about. Just because you didn't
• 24:24
  Speaker 1: get caught doesn't mean you're not a criminal. Okay. My
• 24:27
  Speaker 1: stepdaddy was talking about my ex because he went to prison, right,
• 24:30
  Speaker 1: and I said, man, you'll be at the job selling
• 24:33
  Speaker 1: that viagra. Okay, let's be very fucking clear. If those
• 24:36
  Speaker 1: people in your job were healthy and was healthy enough
• 24:38
  Speaker 1: for VIAGRAA, their doctors would have prescribed to them. So
• 24:41
  Speaker 1: what you're doing is drug dealing viagra pills twenty dollars
• 24:45
  Speaker 1: a pop at the job.
• 24:47
  Speaker 3: No, not right now, No, he's retired now.
• 24:51
  Speaker 1: Yeah, he was doing that shit and talking about talking
• 24:55
  Speaker 1: about a nigga who movement work.
• 24:56
  Speaker 3: It's the same thing, right, you just want a smaller scale.
• 25:00
  Speaker 1: You're just selling pharmaceutical drugs, which actually may be worse
• 25:04
  Speaker 1: because one of the guys went blind that he was
• 25:06
  Speaker 1: selling the shit too, because the nigga wasn't healthy enough
• 25:09
  Speaker 1: to be taken.
• 25:09
  Speaker 2: By blood pressure one.
• 25:11
  Speaker 1: Right, yeah, so how much bitch is you fucking like?
• 25:14
  Speaker 1: How long you want your dick to stay hard? My guy?
• 25:17
  Speaker 2: You know, I can concern with people who are taking
• 25:19
  Speaker 2: those like and honey packs and all that stuff and
• 25:22
  Speaker 2: bluetooes and all that shit, and it be young guys. Yeah,
• 25:27
  Speaker 2: but I would be upset if I was younger. My
• 25:29
  Speaker 2: dick win't get hard. I'd be upset if I was older.
• 25:32
  Speaker 2: My dick win't get hard, but especially as a young man.
• 25:37
  Speaker 1: But how hard they wanted, Like, it might be getting hard,
• 25:40
  Speaker 1: but in their mind is not getting hard enough for
• 25:42
  Speaker 1: I don't know what. Just just let us tell you
• 25:44
  Speaker 1: all of the dick is hitting.
• 25:46
  Speaker 2: You gotta squeeze the balls and the dick together to
• 25:49
  Speaker 2: try to shove it in so pussy, it's not hard enough.
• 25:53
  Speaker 1: My mama call it a wet rag.
• 25:58
  Speaker 2: I got stuff that wet rag man, and like, So
• 26:01
  Speaker 2: when men are angry sometimes I think that's why, like
• 26:04
  Speaker 2: if they're just always mad, And he was like, Dad,
• 26:06
  Speaker 2: why are you just got such a unpleasant disposition all
• 26:10
  Speaker 2: the time, Because yeah, I get it, because I'll be
• 26:16
  Speaker 2: a motherfucker.
• 26:18
  Speaker 1: Too, either it doesn't work or its little. You know.
• 26:23
  Speaker 1: I always say, like, I just pray to God please
• 26:26
  Speaker 1: let my son have like it would have to be
• 26:27
  Speaker 1: no super big dick, just good dick, right, because I
• 26:30
  Speaker 1: just don't want to deal with a man with low
• 26:32
  Speaker 1: self esteem as my child. We'll we talk about this
• 26:35
  Speaker 1: week child masculinity, bitch, we talk about your niggas something more, y'all,
• 26:43
  Speaker 1: because we love y'all so much.
• 26:46
  Speaker 3: It's masculinity in crisis.
• 26:47
  Speaker 1: And we actually have a guest of a friend of
• 26:49
  Speaker 1: the show, friend in life on this episode this week,
• 26:53
  Speaker 1: you know, because we didn't want to be the only
• 26:55
  Speaker 1: ones talking, right, and we also want to active, So
• 27:01
  Speaker 1: y'all be like, but just don't even know what the
• 27:04
  Speaker 1: hell you're talking about, but we do, like we've been
• 27:08
  Speaker 1: dealing with y'all whole life, literally from daddy on up. Yeah,
• 27:11
  Speaker 1: I feel like I got a pH d in niggas.
• 27:14
  Speaker 2: Okay, No, every time I encounter y'all, I realize I
• 27:18
  Speaker 2: just don't know what the fuck is going on. So
• 27:22
  Speaker 2: we'll be right back, y'all. Thank y'all for coming back again.
• 27:30
  Speaker 1: We got a ball headed special guests.
• 27:36
  Speaker 4: Thank y'all for having me. Thank you for having me.
• 27:38
  Speaker 1: Our homeboy, mister Terry Campleton, Elsa's son, Else's son.
• 27:45
  Speaker 2: We love you, Terry.
• 27:47
  Speaker 4: Well.
• 27:47
  Speaker 1: Me and Terry have been friends and have known each
• 27:50
  Speaker 1: other from elementary to fucking college.
• 27:54
  Speaker 4: It's correct, okay, So if.
• 27:56
  Speaker 1: Anybody know me, I think he might know me a
• 27:57
  Speaker 1: little bit.
• 27:59
  Speaker 2: And listen, he' my friends too. They not just friends
• 28:02
  Speaker 2: like I met hear him in college and we've been
• 28:05
  Speaker 2: friends ever since. And this is like the person I
• 28:07
  Speaker 2: go to anytime I need like relationship advice or I
• 28:11
  Speaker 2: want to talk to a get a male perspective. I
• 28:14
  Speaker 2: always called Terry to see what he gotta say. He
• 28:16
  Speaker 2: always gives me some solid advice.
• 28:18
  Speaker 4: I appreciate, y'all.
• 28:19
  Speaker 2: Now, do I take it?
• 28:21
  Speaker 4: Maybe not?
• 28:25
  Speaker 1: So you want to follow up on a previous conversation
• 28:28
  Speaker 1: we had, right we were talking about it really wasn't
• 28:31
  Speaker 1: about masculinity, but somehow the conversation went in that direction, right,
• 28:36
  Speaker 1: talking about you know, women and not even about gender
• 28:40
  Speaker 1: roles just in life, like our positions, what we should
• 28:45
  Speaker 1: be doing. But today I actually want to talk about like,
• 28:48
  Speaker 1: do you think masculinity is actually in crisis mode?
• 28:54
  Speaker 2: But what you mean by crisis though?
• 28:58
  Speaker 1: Is it under attack?
• 28:59
  Speaker 2: Is it just?
• 29:00
  Speaker 1: Is it just evolving?
• 29:02
  Speaker 2: Right?
• 29:02
  Speaker 1: I think women can't really define what masculinity is, right.
• 29:05
  Speaker 1: I think I believe men should define amongst their peers
• 29:10
  Speaker 1: what being a man is and what masculinity actually is.
• 29:14
  Speaker 3: Right. But I do think it may be evolving a
• 29:17
  Speaker 3: little bit, because you know.
• 29:19
  Speaker 2: Women volving is that a word?
• 29:23
  Speaker 1: Whatever, Something's happening, right, So something is definitely happening. So
• 29:28
  Speaker 1: we don't know if it's just men, you know, having
• 29:30
  Speaker 1: more outward emotion nowadays, or sasy opinions sassy friends that
• 29:38
  Speaker 1: the men and a man expresses emotion. We calling it
• 29:41
  Speaker 1: a sassy because really, I don't want no nigga stranger
• 29:44
  Speaker 1: on the internet talk crazy to me in the comments section.
• 29:47
  Speaker 3: You're a sassy, My man would never you know what
• 29:50
  Speaker 3: I'm saying.
• 29:50
  Speaker 1: I don't really like niggas that talk.
• 29:52
  Speaker 2: I told you at the other day. Oh, like damn,
• 29:54
  Speaker 2: but nigga can't talk.
• 29:56
  Speaker 4: You see my pinion?
• 29:57
  Speaker 1: You know he means business. That's the type of and
• 30:00
  Speaker 1: men I be liking like I like men who make
• 30:02
  Speaker 1: jokes though I like funny you.
• 30:04
  Speaker 2: Have a thought to tell a joke?
• 30:05
  Speaker 1: He do, but not too much telling joke and goes
• 30:09
  Speaker 1: to tell and look out for me you thiggas right
• 30:11
  Speaker 1: up my telling joke, but don't.
• 30:14
  Speaker 4: Talk to do it, but dance that I be playing
• 30:17
  Speaker 4: right To answer your question, I don't think masculinity is
• 30:20
  Speaker 4: in a crisis, but it isn't like in the red area.
• 30:25
  Speaker 4: You know what I'm saying. We got to get back
• 30:26
  Speaker 4: to the green area.
• 30:27
  Speaker 2: And when you say red, what you mean.
• 30:29
  Speaker 4: Like meaning your fingers should be on the panic button
• 30:31
  Speaker 4: because you know, men are becoming a little more publicly emotional.
• 30:39
  Speaker 4: You know a lot of men don't have no foresight.
• 30:40
  Speaker 4: You just see men crashing out every day on the internet.
• 30:43
  Speaker 4: You know what I'm saying. And we need to get
• 30:46
  Speaker 4: back to being men as a whole, being quiet, right, Well,
• 30:50
  Speaker 4: I wouldn't necessarily say being quiet, So what's.
• 30:54
  Speaker 2: Wrong with being publicly emotional? Though?
• 30:56
  Speaker 3: That's like we not like that.
• 30:59
  Speaker 4: You know, you got a lot of men who are
• 31:02
  Speaker 4: arguing with women publicly. You know some of them are
• 31:07
  Speaker 4: actually physically hitting women, you know what I'm saying, And uh, yeah,
• 31:11
  Speaker 4: we gotta get back to being men. And then you
• 31:13
  Speaker 4: hear a lot of sisters say, you know, black men
• 31:15
  Speaker 4: don't protect black women. I disagree with that. I think
• 31:17
  Speaker 4: we do protect black women. It's just you know, Uh,
• 31:21
  Speaker 4: people just gotta understand when you out, you got to
• 31:23
  Speaker 4: be mindful of that because you can be harmed trying
• 31:26
  Speaker 4: to protect somebody that you don't know.
• 31:28
  Speaker 1: And if it ain't your sister, your mama correct, right right,
• 31:31
  Speaker 1: But yeah, so.
• 31:33
  Speaker 2: So wait, if you see a woman outside getting beat,
• 31:37
  Speaker 2: you not go You're gonna film it or you gonna
• 31:39
  Speaker 2: try to stop it.
• 31:40
  Speaker 4: Oh, I'm definitely not filming it. I'm definitely not filming it.
• 31:42
  Speaker 4: But first of all, somebody can lose their life and
• 31:45
  Speaker 4: you filming somebody, you know what I'm saying. Yeah, but
• 31:48
  Speaker 4: I would definitely, uh be mindful of the situation because
• 31:53
  Speaker 4: you gotta understand situational awareness. If you see a man
• 31:57
  Speaker 4: and a woman arguing and he start, y'all hear that.
• 32:02
  Speaker 2: Just burnt on the mic. Listen, we talk about masculine energy.
• 32:07
  Speaker 1: You ain't got to be a man today, okay, And
• 32:09
  Speaker 1: it's straight acid because I ain't ship.
• 32:13
  Speaker 4: Listen. But like I was saying, if you see a
• 32:15
  Speaker 4: man and a woman arguing outside across the street and
• 32:19
  Speaker 4: you're a man, don't just go over there and just
• 32:22
  Speaker 4: try to be, you know, superhero, because you can lose
• 32:24
  Speaker 4: your life too. I've seen it. It's best to just
• 32:27
  Speaker 4: call the police from where you at.
• 32:32
  Speaker 2: Niggas is calling the police.
• 32:33
  Speaker 4: Call the police from where you're at. Listen, because listen,
• 32:36
  Speaker 4: as a man, you got to make it home to
• 32:39
  Speaker 4: your family, your mama or your woman, and your kids
• 32:43
  Speaker 4: a home after that may be, you know, so you
• 32:44
  Speaker 4: definitely got to think about that before you just go running.
• 32:49
  Speaker 4: You don't know, men know the level.
• 32:50
  Speaker 1: Other men will take it to, right, Like women really
• 32:54
  Speaker 1: really don't realize when their life in danger sometimes, and
• 32:57
  Speaker 1: I think men always like.
• 33:01
  Speaker 2: A woman would write a woman would put a man's
• 33:03
  Speaker 2: life in dan in danger unknowingly.
• 33:06
  Speaker 1: Yes the facts and I can't tell you that would
• 33:08
  Speaker 1: mind my business. If I saw a man being a
• 33:10
  Speaker 1: woman like I don't know that I would and help her.
• 33:13
  Speaker 4: Just call the police from across the street, Call the police.
• 33:16
  Speaker 4: I wouldn't.
• 33:16
  Speaker 2: I'm pop and the something like call.
• 33:19
  Speaker 4: The police if that's not your loved one or your sister,
• 33:22
  Speaker 4: your mom.
• 33:23
  Speaker 2: We can't be like that.
• 33:24
  Speaker 4: Yess what I'm saying. You can lose your life trying
• 33:29
  Speaker 4: to save somebody you don't know, and now your mama crying,
• 33:32
  Speaker 4: your kids crying, your daddy crying, your aunties and everybody crying.
• 33:35
  Speaker 4: And he go to jail. And what you think she's
• 33:38
  Speaker 4: gonna be doing back when he get out, if he
• 33:40
  Speaker 4: get out, right, she's gonna be answering all them calls,
• 33:45
  Speaker 4: sending that money and you did you dead?
• 33:48
  Speaker 1: That could happen with a family member too. You know
• 33:50
  Speaker 1: what I'm saying. You could stop your family member from
• 33:52
  Speaker 1: getting beat up by they loved the one, by their
• 33:53
  Speaker 1: boyfriend girlfriend, and it would be the same, the same thing.
• 33:57
  Speaker 1: But you're more inclined to intervene in that situation.
• 33:59
  Speaker 4: Well that's another thing, right, Like I have a daughter
• 34:02
  Speaker 4: and uh, she's only three, but if she when she
• 34:05
  Speaker 4: gets older, right, let's just say she got a boyfriend
• 34:09
  Speaker 4: and they get into it, I would tell her before
• 34:16
  Speaker 4: you call me. You need to think about that because
• 34:20
  Speaker 4: when I get inlved, when you involve me, that can
• 34:24
  Speaker 4: go either way. He's a man, like I'm a man.
• 34:27
  Speaker 4: So if I come over there trying to get some
• 34:29
  Speaker 4: law in order that can go in his way or
• 34:32
  Speaker 4: I can go on my way. But you got to
• 34:35
  Speaker 4: think about that because I know how I'm thinking, I'm
• 34:38
  Speaker 4: coming home and he probably thinking like you know, So
• 34:43
  Speaker 4: before anything of that that happens, just leave.
• 34:45
  Speaker 2: But see when you say that, it makes them scared
• 34:48
  Speaker 2: to call you, and then maybe they shouldn't, you know,
• 34:50
  Speaker 2: because like a woman trying to protect trying to protect
• 34:55
  Speaker 2: you and not protecting herself.
• 34:59
  Speaker 4: And I hear you. If you are a family member
• 35:02
  Speaker 4: of mine and you are dating a man and y'all
• 35:05
  Speaker 4: happen to get into a verbal dispute that could possibly
• 35:09
  Speaker 4: get physical. Right, however, that may be leave before you
• 35:15
  Speaker 4: get the other men in your family involved, because again
• 35:18
  Speaker 4: that can go either way. When your uncle get there,
• 35:21
  Speaker 4: your brother, or your daddy get there, he a man
• 35:24
  Speaker 4: like you, a man, it might not go in your
• 35:26
  Speaker 4: daddy favor. You might to whoop your daddy.
• 35:29
  Speaker 2: Dad.
• 35:31
  Speaker 4: You ain't your daddy is going to protect their doors.
• 35:34
  Speaker 4: They come in with these strapped.
• 35:35
  Speaker 1: Story The one time I got hit by a man, right,
• 35:39
  Speaker 1: I was on some bullshit and he can't control his
• 35:42
  Speaker 1: emotion after he'd not been on a lot of bullshit.
• 35:44
  Speaker 3: Now, all of a sudden, like my bullshit bigger than
• 35:47
  Speaker 3: your bullshit.
• 35:48
  Speaker 1: You want to hit me. And then he braced my
• 35:50
  Speaker 1: cell phones and now and I finally like call my
• 35:53
  Speaker 1: like literally before he broke the cell phone, like be
• 35:56
  Speaker 1: driving down the street. You're like, I'm gonna put you
• 35:57
  Speaker 1: in the fucking swamp.
• 35:58
  Speaker 3: This is what he's telling me.
• 36:00
  Speaker 1: I called my daddy. I'm like screaming on the phone
• 36:02
  Speaker 1: like this nigga says he's gonna kill me for real.
• 36:05
  Speaker 1: So finally got me to the swamp. He didn't kill me.
• 36:09
  Speaker 2: He took you to the swamp.
• 36:10
  Speaker 1: He took me to the projects by the swamp. Guy,
• 36:14
  Speaker 1: you know the day gyard there in the back of
• 36:20
  Speaker 1: the graveyard is like water like waste, like like wetlands
• 36:25
  Speaker 1: and marsh and ship like that. Yeah, he told me
• 36:27
  Speaker 1: he was about to drop me off there.
• 36:29
  Speaker 4: So the best thing for your daddy to do in
• 36:32
  Speaker 4: that situation.
• 36:32
  Speaker 1: I say, my daddy. When I finally called my daddy, once,
• 36:35
  Speaker 1: I cal him down, like daddy, can't you now come
• 36:36
  Speaker 1: pick me up because I've since been left where I'm at.
• 36:40
  Speaker 1: This is like when he came and got me, he said,
• 36:44
  Speaker 1: either you're gonna stay or you're gonna leave because if
• 36:46
  Speaker 1: I get involved, somebody gonna get hurt. This was never
• 36:49
  Speaker 1: with that person.
• 36:50
  Speaker 4: In fact, any.
• 36:51
  Speaker 2: Nigga who drop you off at the swamp, you definitely
• 36:54
  Speaker 2: need to where's that the in the project a graveyard? Yeah,
• 36:59
  Speaker 2: you need to go.
• 37:00
  Speaker 4: Y'all just gotta be a be mindful of certain situations
• 37:04
  Speaker 4: because before I get you, if everybody know a man
• 37:07
  Speaker 4: who is somewhat of an abuser, even if he's physically abusing,
• 37:12
  Speaker 4: or if you verbal warning is, you know, you gotta
• 37:15
  Speaker 4: be able to peep that way before it happened. He
• 37:17
  Speaker 4: ain't just gonna come over and start smacking.
• 37:19
  Speaker 2: You know.
• 37:19
  Speaker 4: He usually be like A I'm not abused, by the way,
• 37:23
  Speaker 4: but he usually be like A all right, keep playing
• 37:26
  Speaker 4: with me. I'm gonna show you better. I can tell you.
• 37:29
  Speaker 4: You see it all the time. I'm telling you I
• 37:32
  Speaker 4: ain't never hit no woman, And that's on record. I
• 37:34
  Speaker 4: never hit no woman. But I'm telling you that's what
• 37:36
  Speaker 4: it be. And then people ignore those signs and then
• 37:39
  Speaker 4: next thing.
• 37:40
  Speaker 2: You know.
• 37:42
  Speaker 4: What, no no with me.
• 37:47
  Speaker 1: Like, I'll give y'all what I think masculinely is. I
• 37:50
  Speaker 1: think uh, a masculine man is calculated he's calm under pressure.
• 37:57
  Speaker 1: He's he's a decision maker. He's not and decisive, he's
• 38:01
  Speaker 1: very decisive. Now, all those characteristics could also be associated
• 38:04
  Speaker 1: with women, right, So I think to be a well
• 38:07
  Speaker 1: rounded human you need to embody booth because who wants
• 38:12
  Speaker 1: a super indecisive woman? You know what I'm saying? Who
• 38:15
  Speaker 1: wants a woman who can't ever make a decision? On
• 38:18
  Speaker 1: the food conversation, like how we supposedly never know we
• 38:21
  Speaker 1: want to eat. We always know we want to eat.
• 38:23
  Speaker 1: We just don't know how much y'all can afford. Okay,
• 38:26
  Speaker 1: we just don't know where we can eat at, but
• 38:28
  Speaker 1: we always know where you know, me and my homegirls
• 38:32
  Speaker 1: like to eat that we always know who you want
• 38:33
  Speaker 1: to eat.
• 38:34
  Speaker 2: I don't always know where I want to eat. Sometimes
• 38:37
  Speaker 2: I want you to you know you pick you.
• 38:40
  Speaker 4: Pick it well? If you if you if I know
• 38:44
  Speaker 4: you like seafood, We're gonna go to a seafoodstaurant. You
• 38:47
  Speaker 4: might not know what you want when you get there,
• 38:49
  Speaker 4: but I know where we're going. You know what I'm says,
• 38:53
  Speaker 4: I know whe we're going steakhouse. But to me, masculine
• 39:00
  Speaker 4: that he means man. So many things they don't have
• 39:04
  Speaker 4: anything to do with being like tough and hard and
• 39:06
  Speaker 4: nothing like that. It's just a man who can, you know,
• 39:09
  Speaker 4: regulate his emotions, one who can think under pressure, and
• 39:14
  Speaker 4: one who could be vulnerable because being being vulnerable takes strength.
• 39:18
  Speaker 4: A lot of men don't realize that, like they think, oh,
• 39:20
  Speaker 4: you know, to be all stoic and strong. No, that's
• 39:25
  Speaker 4: not masculated to me.
• 39:26
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I think a lot of men associate vulnerability with weakness.
• 39:31
  Speaker 4: You know, it's all about it's all really, it's really
• 39:34
  Speaker 4: about being able to articulate yourself so the other person
• 39:37
  Speaker 4: understands you, and controlling your emotions. That's very masculine to me.
• 39:42
  Speaker 2: Yeah. But strength don't have nothing to do with masculinity
• 39:45
  Speaker 2: at all.
• 39:46
  Speaker 4: Physical strength, no, no, no, But to be vulnerable takes strength,
• 39:51
  Speaker 4: internal strength.
• 39:52
  Speaker 2: Like mental strength.
• 39:54
  Speaker 4: Yeah that too.
• 39:55
  Speaker 2: Yeah hmm, I don't know because I need.
• 40:00
  Speaker 4: Yeah, listen right, open his jar listen, Yeah, he can
• 40:02
  Speaker 4: open the jaw. That's just being strong. I don't have
• 40:05
  Speaker 4: nothing to do with being masculinity. Being masculine. You got
• 40:08
  Speaker 4: a guy, You can have a guy that's brawlic go
• 40:11
  Speaker 4: to the gym every day, super strong, but very feminine.
• 40:14
  Speaker 4: Oh yeah, you see what I'm saying. So, yeah, they
• 40:17
  Speaker 4: don't have anything to do with strength.
• 40:19
  Speaker 1: Why first of all, listen, this is not masculine. Why
• 40:22
  Speaker 1: your whole thigh out? The hoochi daddy short, I love him?
• 40:26
  Speaker 1: What do you want that? Yes, if you're not playing soccer,
• 40:31
  Speaker 1: he would not want to see you with your whole
• 40:34
  Speaker 1: thigh out.
• 40:35
  Speaker 2: No, I like it because I like you're eating the legs,
• 40:37
  Speaker 2: them strong legs like nice.
• 40:41
  Speaker 4: I like.
• 40:42
  Speaker 1: I do like legs. Now, you just got like a
• 40:45
  Speaker 1: little little sperm tadpole body.
• 40:47
  Speaker 2: But I don't buy the neighborhood no fat ass though,
• 40:49
  Speaker 2: Like I don't want his ass to be fat as mine.
• 40:52
  Speaker 1: But I like the big legs and a nice bath.
• 41:02
  Speaker 2: So I got a question. Is society striven men of
• 41:05
  Speaker 2: purpose or liberating them? Oh?
• 41:08
  Speaker 4: Man, that's a great question. Yeah. Yeah, because you got
• 41:12
  Speaker 4: a lot of women out here telling men how to
• 41:15
  Speaker 4: be men, you know, and social media isn't making it
• 41:20
  Speaker 4: any better. So we have to get back to being men.
• 41:23
  Speaker 4: You know what I'm saying. If you are, and a
• 41:25
  Speaker 4: lot of women always say that, oh, bring back the men.
• 41:27
  Speaker 4: You're right, we got to bring back the men.
• 41:28
  Speaker 1: But in order to bring back that mean when we
• 41:30
  Speaker 1: say that, what do you what do I know? We
• 41:32
  Speaker 1: mean when we say that men here, what men here is?
• 41:37
  Speaker 4: Ain't no men out here good enough like our granddaddy's.
• 41:42
  Speaker 4: That's what they hear as a whole, that's what they hear.
• 41:47
  Speaker 4: But the men out here, we just have to bring
• 41:48
  Speaker 4: them back as a whole, bring back strong you know,
• 41:53
  Speaker 4: men who can think, you know. But in order to
• 41:56
  Speaker 4: bring back masculine, strong men who can lead, we have
• 41:59
  Speaker 4: to bring back the respectable, respectable women.
• 42:03
  Speaker 2: So you wait a minute now, So you don't think
• 42:07
  Speaker 2: respectable women exist, No.
• 42:09
  Speaker 4: They're out here, it's just at a minimal they're out here.
• 42:12
  Speaker 4: But there's a lot of disrespectful women out here that Oh.
• 42:15
  Speaker 1: Wait, wait, you said not respectable. You mean disrespectful because respectable.
• 42:20
  Speaker 1: That just because you are disrespectful doesn't mean you're not respectable, right,
• 42:26
  Speaker 1: That's what I'm saying, Like you are you mean like
• 42:28
  Speaker 1: women like women respect men.
• 42:30
  Speaker 4: Who respect me? Correct, that's what we have. In order
• 42:33
  Speaker 4: for us to get back to that, we have to
• 42:37
  Speaker 4: bring back the women who respect men. We have to
• 42:41
  Speaker 4: bring that back.
• 42:41
  Speaker 1: So why do you think that the that there's a
• 42:44
  Speaker 1: lack of respect for men? Yeah, like, collectively why do
• 42:48
  Speaker 1: you You obviously feel like there's you said that there's
• 42:52
  Speaker 1: a little bit of women out here who actually respect men.
• 42:54
  Speaker 1: But why why do you feel like that? And do
• 42:56
  Speaker 1: you get disrespected by women in your day to day life?
• 42:59
  Speaker 4: No, no, I do not, And I feel like, well,
• 43:03
  Speaker 4: this is really a feeling, you know, in my line
• 43:06
  Speaker 4: of my In my line of work, I talk to
• 43:08
  Speaker 4: men every day every day.
• 43:09
  Speaker 1: I mean, so he's like your barber's favorite barber.
• 43:13
  Speaker 2: Oh yeah, this is your new barber right here? Yeah,
• 43:16
  Speaker 2: he in Colombia.
• 43:17
  Speaker 4: Okay, new barber right here.
• 43:19
  Speaker 2: Yeah, y'all more committed to like he.
• 43:22
  Speaker 4: I don't even my barber. I don't know that negative
• 43:25
  Speaker 4: be committed to the barber. No, I ain't gonna lie
• 43:28
  Speaker 4: committed to barber.
• 43:29
  Speaker 2: But go ahead. What are he's saying?
• 43:32
  Speaker 4: In my line of work, I talked to about two
• 43:34
  Speaker 4: thousand men a year, maybe more, and they all say
• 43:38
  Speaker 4: the same thing. They all say the same thing. Respect
• 43:43
  Speaker 4: is number one. I've said it. Respect is number one.
• 43:47
  Speaker 4: Once we lost that, you lose the man.
• 43:52
  Speaker 2: Well why do you think the women have lost respect? Though?
• 43:55
  Speaker 4: You know, because how the world to shape is telling
• 44:01
  Speaker 4: women who to tell men how to be men? We
• 44:06
  Speaker 4: gotta get in order for the man to come back.
• 44:09
  Speaker 4: We got to in order to bring back the real
• 44:11
  Speaker 4: strong men that we used to be, we also have
• 44:14
  Speaker 4: to bring back the women who respects those men.
• 44:17
  Speaker 2: I feel like those men were providers though they were
• 44:21
  Speaker 2: and they still are here, but it's at a minimum. Yeah,
• 44:25
  Speaker 2: that's what I'm saying, Like women minimal respect is because
• 44:28
  Speaker 2: there's minimal providers.
• 44:31
  Speaker 4: All right. See, the thing is about provision. I hope
• 44:34
  Speaker 4: y'all don't think provision is just like money. No, we don't, Okay, cool,
• 44:41
  Speaker 4: So in my opinion, providing or provision is a man
• 44:46
  Speaker 4: who can lead you be a life manager, you know
• 44:50
  Speaker 4: what I'm saying, Like a man who can come in
• 44:54
  Speaker 4: and he can be considered of how you feel and
• 45:00
  Speaker 4: and for the batterment of the house. You see what
• 45:02
  Speaker 4: I'm saying.
• 45:03
  Speaker 2: So where they're doing that though.
• 45:08
  Speaker 1: I'm listen, they will.
• 45:12
  Speaker 4: Men are doing it. Men will do it. I'm telling
• 45:14
  Speaker 4: you in order for if you want a man too,
• 45:17
  Speaker 4: and I hate to get him a man woman thing,
• 45:19
  Speaker 4: but if you want as why.
• 45:20
  Speaker 1: Brought you here?
• 45:21
  Speaker 4: All right? If you want to know, I'm like the
• 45:24
  Speaker 4: man versus woman. That's why you hear what's The thing
• 45:27
  Speaker 4: is right, if you want a man to move or
• 45:31
  Speaker 4: perform the way you want him to, you gotta speak
• 45:34
  Speaker 4: that at him. I'm telling you he will.
• 45:37
  Speaker 2: Do it sometimes because listen, listen. No, let's think about
• 45:42
  Speaker 2: some of the guys that we know personally. I can
• 45:44
  Speaker 2: think of one of your friends, okay, and he ain't
• 45:48
  Speaker 2: ship and he lying, he got a woman at the house,
• 45:51
  Speaker 2: a pregnant woman at the house, and always in different
• 45:54
  Speaker 2: bitches in box and d ms and he's just a
• 45:57
  Speaker 2: straight sociopath liar. And that's your homeboy. I'm sure that
• 46:07
  Speaker 2: woman over there is speaking all kind of life to
• 46:09
  Speaker 2: him and he's still outside of doing the word.
• 46:10
  Speaker 1: That's this part, right. Remember on another episode when I
• 46:13
  Speaker 1: said that there are things that I discovered about myself,
• 46:17
  Speaker 1: like like not being able to be as thoughtful as
• 46:20
  Speaker 1: other people are. But another is I understand that most
• 46:25
  Speaker 1: men like one of their major love languages is words
• 46:28
  Speaker 1: of affirmation. But for me now I give men affirmations off.
• 46:35
  Speaker 1: I affirm men all the time. Right, But when I'm
• 46:38
  Speaker 1: like I have struggled with a partner right who I
• 46:43
  Speaker 1: have felt like I've been mistreated by and different things,
• 46:47
  Speaker 1: and then they would start doing well, right, I can't
• 46:50
  Speaker 1: get into the position of like.
• 46:54
  Speaker 2: Affirming them.
• 46:55
  Speaker 1: Yes, I can't because you've broken me. I'm saying, I can't.
• 47:00
  Speaker 1: I can't. I don't even I don't know how do.
• 47:02
  Speaker 3: I affirm ye?
• 47:03
  Speaker 4: Like, how do I? Now you don't have You don't
• 47:06
  Speaker 4: have the capability to affirm him at that moment, you
• 47:07
  Speaker 4: know what I'm saying. So you need to articulate how
• 47:10
  Speaker 4: you what's going on with you so he can understand.
• 47:14
  Speaker 4: It's just all about understanding communication. That's it.
• 47:17
  Speaker 1: Yeah, because I know that's how you that's that is
• 47:19
  Speaker 1: definitely how you get men to do well right. That
• 47:21
  Speaker 1: women are the muse right, So, like I was telling
• 47:25
  Speaker 1: Thomas Early, like, no woman, no black women, right, because
• 47:29
  Speaker 1: that's who we are. We are not asking men to
• 47:31
  Speaker 1: have everything together together today. We are asking you to
• 47:35
  Speaker 1: let me see the progress. I need you to actively
• 47:38
  Speaker 1: be working towards some giving me the soft life. And
• 47:41
  Speaker 1: I feel like, like I always say, there's two type
• 47:44
  Speaker 1: of men, Like there's either a man who feeds his
• 47:46
  Speaker 1: ego through how many women he can have sex with,
• 47:48
  Speaker 1: and then there's the man who feeds his ego by
• 47:51
  Speaker 1: how many people he can take care of. And That's
• 47:53
  Speaker 1: that's the man I like.
• 47:55
  Speaker 2: Is that the only two types.
• 47:56
  Speaker 4: See, the thing is about that second guy that you
• 47:58
  Speaker 4: just described. While that man is there making sure everybody
• 48:03
  Speaker 4: around him is straight, the kids, the woman, the in laws,
• 48:08
  Speaker 4: his mother, he filling up everybody else. Cut he has
• 48:12
  Speaker 4: moments where he gets weak, you know, and feel a
• 48:15
  Speaker 4: little inadequate, you know what I'm saying. So it has
• 48:18
  Speaker 4: to be like a reservoir. Like while he's filling everybody
• 48:20
  Speaker 4: else up, you got to be filling him up, you know,
• 48:22
  Speaker 4: because when he starts to lack in certain areas, you know,
• 48:26
  Speaker 4: I got to help that brother lift him up.
• 48:28
  Speaker 2: You know.
• 48:28
  Speaker 4: That's why, like you said, men like words of affirmation.
• 48:32
  Speaker 4: Tell him how great of a man he is. Hey, babe,
• 48:34
  Speaker 4: you know I think you are a great guy. Just
• 48:36
  Speaker 4: say it, put it right in the car. And what
• 48:40
  Speaker 4: if he has subject if.
• 48:41
  Speaker 3: He hasn't been being a great guy, That's what I'm saying.
• 48:44
  Speaker 1: So now you try, Adam, what's wrong with him?
• 48:46
  Speaker 4: That's what's going on. But don't sound like his mother,
• 48:49
  Speaker 4: you see what I'm saying.
• 48:50
  Speaker 2: So Okay, how do you do that?
• 48:56
  Speaker 4: Get it out, Get it out, Get it out, get
• 48:59
  Speaker 4: it out, you know, be a woman. You are a woman.
• 49:03
  Speaker 4: But you know that's what the femininity, that's what the
• 49:07
  Speaker 4: femininity is.
• 49:08
  Speaker 2: It's the second time something about me being a woman today.
• 49:14
  Speaker 4: Be a woman? Like, come on, man, what does that mean?
• 49:19
  Speaker 4: I can't tell y'all what a woman as y'all are
• 49:20
  Speaker 4: to you? Lester being meaning, be assertive and say it
• 49:29
  Speaker 4: with your chest. What's going on? How you feel? That's
• 49:31
  Speaker 4: all I'm saying.
• 49:32
  Speaker 1: Yeah, but soft though, right, soft and little tone.
• 49:36
  Speaker 4: Listen, you don't have to coddle the man. You know
• 49:38
  Speaker 4: what I'm saying. I can tell you sometimes sneak that
• 49:42
  Speaker 4: man grown you grown, Just speak. You don't curse or
• 49:45
  Speaker 4: yell at him because you're not going to get no response.
• 49:47
  Speaker 1: You've had a conversation with somebody and you just feel
• 49:50
  Speaker 1: like they intentionally disagree or intentionally not to understand. Oh yes,
• 49:54
  Speaker 1: that's when I start yelling. I do start off regular, yes,
• 49:59
  Speaker 1: but then when you when I feel like I didn't
• 50:01
  Speaker 1: repeat the same thing multiple times.
• 50:04
  Speaker 2: And someone's committed to misunderstanding.
• 50:06
  Speaker 1: It frustrated And now I'm screaming because I feel like
• 50:09
  Speaker 1: you're a hell bent on misunderstands. See, some people are
• 50:13
  Speaker 1: not taking accountability right and I am in a place
• 50:16
  Speaker 1: now to where I'm no longer like really trying to
• 50:19
  Speaker 1: Like we speak very broadly on this podcast, but in
• 50:21
  Speaker 1: my personal life, I am no longer trying to force
• 50:24
  Speaker 1: people to take accountability, right. That is not my job, right,
• 50:28
  Speaker 1: and I don't want nobody trying to force me to
• 50:29
  Speaker 1: take accountability for shit either. We should all take accountability
• 50:34
  Speaker 1: right and do the things that we know people expect
• 50:37
  Speaker 1: of us, right, you know, especially in a relationship, you
• 50:40
  Speaker 1: know people have expectations, your partner has expectations.
• 50:44
  Speaker 4: It's my first time I ever hearing women say that
• 50:47
  Speaker 4: accountability we should take it.
• 50:49
  Speaker 2: You've never heard a woman say she should take accountabilities.
• 50:53
  Speaker 1: Terry, you lying.
• 50:55
  Speaker 4: Don't get out here, y'all boy, Accountability like the matrix
• 50:59
  Speaker 4: man like I.
• 51:02
  Speaker 1: Accountability look like to you.
• 51:03
  Speaker 4: Own your ship. Listen, if we're together, it's all about correction.
• 51:12
  Speaker 4: You can correct me, adjust me, and I can do
• 51:14
  Speaker 4: the same for you. It's about respect, own your ship,
• 51:17
  Speaker 4: and we're gonna be all right.
• 51:19
  Speaker 2: So you feel like women never own their ship.
• 51:23
  Speaker 1: I feel like sometimes I've never been with a man
• 51:26
  Speaker 1: who actually like took accountability that I feel.
• 51:31
  Speaker 4: That was a protest to the protests you know what
• 51:33
  Speaker 4: I'm saying because I let me tell you. She asked
• 51:36
  Speaker 4: about the women. He said, this.
• 51:40
  Speaker 1: Is that is something that I'm working on, right, not
• 51:42
  Speaker 1: allowing other peoples, uh what they're doing and their emotions
• 51:46
  Speaker 1: to affect mine, right or like trying to stay even killed.
• 51:51
  Speaker 1: So if I'm asking, if I I feel like I've
• 51:55
  Speaker 1: always been, uh, men want you to take accountability for
• 51:58
  Speaker 1: your bullshit. But they they will never, like even with cheating, right,
• 52:04
  Speaker 1: you can ask them a thousand times, Hey, you already know, right,
• 52:08
  Speaker 1: did you do this? You know this girl? No? No,
• 52:10
  Speaker 1: they line in line, line till the bitch come knock
• 52:12
  Speaker 1: on the door, so.
• 52:13
  Speaker 2: You never and the bitch standing right there she ay,
• 52:16
  Speaker 2: I that's not even a real bitch right there, close
• 52:18
  Speaker 2: the door.
• 52:19
  Speaker 1: They will never take accountability, so they I feel like collectively,
• 52:23
  Speaker 1: men are requiring something from women that they never offer.
• 52:25
  Speaker 4: I strongly disagree. I strongly disagree. I had a conversation
• 52:29
  Speaker 4: with one of my one of my boys the other
• 52:31
  Speaker 4: day about this, and we both said the same thing, like,
• 52:34
  Speaker 4: I've noticed that men actually have been taken full accountability
• 52:39
  Speaker 4: for their actions lately, even with men men each other
• 52:43
  Speaker 4: all together, like men hold men accountable when you do
• 52:46
  Speaker 4: some goofy shit, men be like, hey, yeah, you're right, brauh.
• 52:50
  Speaker 4: You know sometimes when you when you're.
• 52:52
  Speaker 2: Talking to one of your so why you don't hold
• 52:55
  Speaker 2: that guy accountable that I mentioned?
• 52:58
  Speaker 1: They don't hold each other accountable, not for.
• 53:00
  Speaker 2: Real, all right? You know what what I will say,
• 53:03
  Speaker 2: Like in the nineties, black men could be bad fathers
• 53:07
  Speaker 2: and they will still have homeboys. But I feel like,
• 53:10
  Speaker 2: now you niggas ain't fucking with you if you don't
• 53:13
  Speaker 2: take care of your kids. That is something y'all do
• 53:15
  Speaker 2: hold each other accountable about. And I think it's because
• 53:18
  Speaker 2: we grew up without absentee parents. A lot of us
• 53:21
  Speaker 2: grew up with an absentee father. So Black men are
• 53:24
  Speaker 2: more holding each other more accountable for that. So I
• 53:27
  Speaker 2: will agree there. But outside of that, when it comes
• 53:29
  Speaker 2: to cheating and ship like that, y'all don't hold each
• 53:31
  Speaker 2: other accountable for that.
• 53:37
  Speaker 1: Y'all just get warning sitting man down and say, hey,
• 53:40
  Speaker 1: you sucking up.
• 53:42
  Speaker 4: I'm telling you, I'm around the men. I'm telling you
• 53:45
  Speaker 4: what what we're saying your mom, I'm around them. Listen.
• 53:49
  Speaker 4: If you got a dude who's your home boy m hm,
• 53:53
  Speaker 4: and he's cheating like.
• 53:54
  Speaker 2: You said, right, I'm about to go ahead. I'm listening.
• 53:57
  Speaker 4: If he know your woman, right, he liked her like
• 54:00
  Speaker 4: I like her for you. She's a sweet woman.
• 54:03
  Speaker 2: Trust me.
• 54:03
  Speaker 4: He's going to be like, hey, bro, you're fucking up something.
• 54:05
  Speaker 4: You're sucking up a good thing. You're fucking up. But
• 54:08
  Speaker 4: a lot of niggas have reasoning like, man, I'm doing
• 54:11
  Speaker 4: it because of this. She don't give me no attention now.
• 54:12
  Speaker 2: But you're not gonna not funck with a nigga because
• 54:14
  Speaker 2: he a cheater. You're not gonna stop being cool with you.
• 54:18
  Speaker 4: What will you stop sucking with your home girl?
• 54:19
  Speaker 2: Because she absolutely My friends do not need we're cheating
• 54:22
  Speaker 2: with you, man, please absolutely. First of all, I could
• 54:29
  Speaker 2: be appalled to hear that my friend is cheating.
• 54:32
  Speaker 3: Are you talking about that?
• 54:33
  Speaker 4: It's crazy with camera.
• 54:38
  Speaker 1: Black women don't.
• 54:39
  Speaker 4: Cheat, alrighty, brothers don't cheat either, But no, all jo side,
• 54:43
  Speaker 4: listen back to accountability, own your ship and we're gonna
• 54:49
  Speaker 4: be all right. What's it?
• 54:52
  Speaker 2: Everybody? That's it? Just on your stick with question.
• 54:55
  Speaker 4: And I'm telling you from a man's response on your
• 54:58
  Speaker 4: ship and we'll be alright. Same thing for the brothers.
• 55:00
  Speaker 4: Men do hold men accountable.
• 55:02
  Speaker 1: So okay, if maline, if masculinity is not in crisis,
• 55:06
  Speaker 1: it obviously we said, it's like it's changing, right.
• 55:12
  Speaker 2: More.
• 55:13
  Speaker 1: And then also you have more men like having uh,
• 55:17
  Speaker 1: emotional intelligence? But Tammy, do you think women are actually
• 55:22
  Speaker 1: ready for emotional intelligent men? Why do you know what
• 55:29
  Speaker 1: I want?
• 55:29
  Speaker 2: I don't think oftentimes, no, women are not ready. But
• 55:32
  Speaker 2: that's because they're not used to it. You know, they're
• 55:34
  Speaker 2: not used to it. I give you something, a little
• 55:36
  Speaker 2: something for that, all right. And then we're quick to
• 55:39
  Speaker 2: call them sassy when they say when they are displayed emotionally.
• 55:44
  Speaker 1: Intelligent, you sassy. That's what random men. That's not for
• 55:49
  Speaker 1: like men in my day to day life. A random
• 55:52
  Speaker 1: man on the internet rambling like somebody, some men have
• 55:55
  Speaker 1: said some of the worst things to me on the
• 55:56
  Speaker 1: internet out I could be your sister, your mom. I'm like,
• 56:00
  Speaker 1: what if somebody else was disrespect somebody else is disrespecting
• 56:03
  Speaker 1: your mom the same way you're doing me right now
• 56:05
  Speaker 1: for no reason, just like unwarranted unsolicited disrespect. Right. Yeah,
• 56:12
  Speaker 1: but that is a small sample size of how these
• 56:14
  Speaker 1: men are probably in their real lives.
• 56:19
  Speaker 2: Not emotional intelligence though, that's just disrespectful ass.
• 56:24
  Speaker 1: A safety by sassy like women pop off quick. I
• 56:27
  Speaker 1: don't expect men to just be popping off quick. You
• 56:30
  Speaker 1: know what I'm saying and writing me a paragraph and
• 56:33
  Speaker 1: they don't know me, Like, what's happening? Go chop wood
• 56:38
  Speaker 1: that one, nigga, like we talk whoever he is. We
• 56:40
  Speaker 1: need him on the show because I just want to
• 56:42
  Speaker 1: touch him. That man with that good here looking like.
• 56:44
  Speaker 2: You can't eating fruit and chopping.
• 56:46
  Speaker 1: Wood, wood biting in the watermelons, And.
• 56:50
  Speaker 2: That's very nice.
• 56:53
  Speaker 4: Go chop wood, chopping wood every.
• 56:57
  Speaker 1: Day, niggas. I like men who chopoda.
• 57:01
  Speaker 2: Yeah, but I don't know if we are ready for
• 57:05
  Speaker 2: a truly and emotional, emotionally intelligent man. But that's because
• 57:09
  Speaker 2: half the time we not.
• 57:10
  Speaker 4: I can response to that.
• 57:12
  Speaker 2: Go ahead, let's hear it.
• 57:16
  Speaker 4: If a woman have never experienced that, meaning forget a relationship,
• 57:22
  Speaker 4: if she never see her father be an emotionally intelligent
• 57:26
  Speaker 4: man to her mother, or an uncle to an aunt,
• 57:29
  Speaker 4: or maybe a boyfriend to assist it. She says she
• 57:33
  Speaker 4: wants that, but when she gets it, it can be
• 57:35
  Speaker 4: a little bit too much. You know, Oh damn, this
• 57:38
  Speaker 4: man really communicates, you know, he thinks he processes his thoughts,
• 57:43
  Speaker 4: he cycles through all the emotions, you know, and he's
• 57:46
  Speaker 4: he's coming to me. He's shooting from the hip like boom.
• 57:49
  Speaker 4: That could be too much for somebody that never had that,
• 57:51
  Speaker 4: you know what I'm saying. You ask for that, but
• 57:54
  Speaker 4: you never had another man to use as a as
• 57:57
  Speaker 4: a measure into as what that is. When you get it,
• 58:00
  Speaker 4: it's like WHOA, this is too much, you know, so
• 58:03
  Speaker 4: they might deflect or run like I don't want to
• 58:07
  Speaker 4: talk about it right now. It could be too much.
• 58:08
  Speaker 4: It could be overwhelming, you know what I'm saying.
• 58:10
  Speaker 2: Let me tell you what I do. As soon as
• 58:12
  Speaker 2: I find like I'm talking to a man who has
• 58:14
  Speaker 2: a very strong emotional intelligence, I use chat GPT to
• 58:18
  Speaker 2: give me sigres conversation. Listen, I'll write down my no, listen,
• 58:23
  Speaker 2: I'll write down my feelings and then I'll go to
• 58:26
  Speaker 2: chat GPT and they'll say, please write this more eloquently
• 58:29
  Speaker 2: for me.
• 58:30
  Speaker 1: But intelligence, that's not no.
• 58:33
  Speaker 2: But I'm just saying, like scared of it.
• 58:35
  Speaker 4: No, I'm not.
• 58:37
  Speaker 2: I am sad at nothing, but I'm just no. I
• 58:39
  Speaker 2: know what to say, but sometimes I can't get the
• 58:40
  Speaker 2: words out correctly. So chat gt wrong way so recently,
• 58:47
  Speaker 2: So chat GPT don't help y'all express better. I used
• 58:51
  Speaker 2: at all the time.
• 58:53
  Speaker 1: Don't because if chaty, if chat GPT, if chat GPT
• 58:57
  Speaker 1: is formulating your.
• 58:58
  Speaker 2: Thoughts, it's not formulated my thoughts, it's just displaying it
• 59:03
  Speaker 2: a better in a better way.
• 59:04
  Speaker 1: It's fanasy because when you gotta have an actual conversation
• 59:08
  Speaker 1: with this person.
• 59:14
  Speaker 2: My thoughts, it's just said better.
• 59:16
  Speaker 1: So my home girl, she rad some ship her baby
• 59:20
  Speaker 1: daddy sent her, and I said, put what you said
• 59:24
  Speaker 1: to him and chat GPT and see what it gives you.
• 59:28
  Speaker 1: It gave his exact text message, so.
• 59:32
  Speaker 2: He just had chat GPT respond for him. Yes, that's
• 59:35
  Speaker 2: not what I did.
• 59:36
  Speaker 1: Put her text in there and they gave it chat GPT.
• 59:39
  Speaker 2: That's different. That's that's different. I'll I'll write my own
• 59:43
  Speaker 2: message and then I'll say make this we gonna added
• 59:48
  Speaker 2: that part up.
• 59:48
  Speaker 1: We don't want niggas.
• 59:50
  Speaker 2: Niggas already use it to communicate.
• 59:53
  Speaker 4: No, No, I haven't. I never. I don't even have
• 59:55
  Speaker 4: that apple my phone.
• 59:56
  Speaker 2: A lot of people do. You'll be surprised how many
• 59:58
  Speaker 2: people are using the conversation to communicate their thoughts. More eloquently. Yes,
• 1:00:03
  Speaker 2: that's I.
• 1:00:04
  Speaker 1: Think that where we're definitely digressing as a people. And
• 1:00:10
  Speaker 1: if we're gonna use AI and in that.
• 1:00:12
  Speaker 2: Way and they use an AI for.
• 1:00:13
  Speaker 1: Everything, Yeah, but not to have day to day conversations.
• 1:00:16
  Speaker 1: I'm not using AI, like, not to formulate a response
• 1:00:21
  Speaker 1: to somebody saying something to me. I'm not even to
• 1:00:23
  Speaker 1: say it different like I'm gonna say it how it's
• 1:00:26
  Speaker 1: gonna be authentically me and my thoughts and my words
• 1:00:29
  Speaker 1: when I see it too, you know what I'm saying,
• 1:00:31
  Speaker 1: Because I feel like then you still gotta have a
• 1:00:33
  Speaker 1: real conversation with this person. So it can sound eloquent
• 1:00:36
  Speaker 1: via text, but then you having a conversation with them,
• 1:00:39
  Speaker 1: I'm like, who the fuck is that?
• 1:00:41
  Speaker 2: It's not? I don't think I have to show you
• 1:00:42
  Speaker 2: an example. Yeah, I can see it. So it's not
• 1:00:45
  Speaker 2: like they're changing. It's the same sentence. It's just worded
• 1:00:48
  Speaker 2: in a way that it could be understanding better, maybe
• 1:00:52
  Speaker 2: my the way I'm saying it. Like, so yeah, like
• 1:00:55
  Speaker 2: we are flawed in communication, you know that, right? Even
• 1:00:59
  Speaker 2: just on this part cast today, there's things that we've
• 1:01:01
  Speaker 2: said that may be misconstrued between just the three of
• 1:01:05
  Speaker 2: us and sometimes using AI will help it come across better.
• 1:01:10
  Speaker 2: I mean, I don't know, I don't know. I don't know.
• 1:01:15
  Speaker 1: I don't know.
• 1:01:16
  Speaker 2: I have you have you had a I'll sell you
• 1:01:18
  Speaker 2: an example. I did it last night. Yeah.
• 1:01:20
  Speaker 4: I try to talk and text. How I read? You
• 1:01:24
  Speaker 4: know what I'm saying. You know how I read?
• 1:01:29
  Speaker 2: Oh? Then, boy about the Obama's in it?
• 1:01:34
  Speaker 3: That's about to blow us up?
• 1:01:38
  Speaker 2: You talk like that, Gosh, I definitely do that.
• 1:01:42
  Speaker 4: Slow down.
• 1:01:43
  Speaker 1: Welcome to We Talk Back Podcast, the production of iHeartRadio.
• 1:01:47
  Speaker 1: And so are you in therapy?
• 1:01:49
  Speaker 4: Yes, ma'am? I am. You said that with confidence?
• 1:01:53
  Speaker 1: Yes, in therapy?
• 1:01:55
  Speaker 4: Uh, consistently about nine months nine and strong.
• 1:02:00
  Speaker 1: So what was the trigger to go to therapy? Because
• 1:02:03
  Speaker 1: I feel like that is probably what we women work
• 1:02:06
  Speaker 1: on their little things, right. We are working on ourselves
• 1:02:09
  Speaker 1: right every day, Like you know what I'm saying. I
• 1:02:13
  Speaker 1: reflect first thing in the morning, I think about the
• 1:02:15
  Speaker 1: previous day, you know what I'm saying, and then what
• 1:02:18
  Speaker 1: I could have done different if I had a situation
• 1:02:20
  Speaker 1: like most of my days have been stupid nowadays. But
• 1:02:23
  Speaker 1: you know, I just do a lot of and inshrooms. Also,
• 1:02:26
  Speaker 1: have you having a lot of introspective, introspective thinking, you know,
• 1:02:32
  Speaker 1: talking to yourself, having a lot of conference calls with yourself,
• 1:02:36
  Speaker 1: picking through your own mental health. So what trigger were
• 1:02:39
  Speaker 1: you to go to therapy?
• 1:02:40
  Speaker 4: What triggered me to go to therapy was me being
• 1:02:43
  Speaker 4: uncertain about me being the greatest version of myself for me.
• 1:02:48
  Speaker 4: You know, if I can't be that for me, I
• 1:02:50
  Speaker 4: can't be that for nobody else. So that was my trigger.
• 1:02:53
  Speaker 2: How has it been going great?
• 1:02:55
  Speaker 4: Great? I'm learning to express myself freely without wondering how
• 1:03:03
  Speaker 4: that may make the person feel. One thing I learned
• 1:03:06
  Speaker 4: in therapy is to never make other people problems become
• 1:03:10
  Speaker 4: your problem. Yes, because what do you mean me myself?
• 1:03:15
  Speaker 4: My therapist said that I can be a people pleaser, right,
• 1:03:20
  Speaker 4: Sometimes I can openly extend myself for others. And you know,
• 1:03:24
  Speaker 4: even though I want to say no to somebody, I'd
• 1:03:27
  Speaker 4: be like, okay, y'all, I do it because I don't
• 1:03:29
  Speaker 4: want to.
• 1:03:29
  Speaker 1: Disappoint today with this podcast.
• 1:03:33
  Speaker 4: I didn't think when she called me that was just
• 1:03:35
  Speaker 4: a let me think, okay.
• 1:03:37
  Speaker 2: Do so wait when I came over your house like
• 1:03:41
  Speaker 2: two weeks ago and I ate that food that your
• 1:03:43
  Speaker 2: aunt made, was you just being a people pleaser, because
• 1:03:46
  Speaker 2: you could.
• 1:03:47
  Speaker 4: Have kept that meal.
• 1:03:48
  Speaker 1: No.
• 1:03:52
  Speaker 2: What I mean by that nobody food is your aunt
• 1:03:55
  Speaker 2: cook today?
• 1:03:59
  Speaker 4: I got two aunts that live in the city, and uh,
• 1:04:02
  Speaker 4: one cook all the time. One don't cook as much.
• 1:04:05
  Speaker 4: My cousin Candice do all the cooking over there at
• 1:04:06
  Speaker 4: the house. But who's that saying? What I mean by
• 1:04:13
  Speaker 4: that is, you know, let's say, if you say, hey,
• 1:04:17
  Speaker 4: can you take me to the airport?
• 1:04:19
  Speaker 2: You love?
• 1:04:20
  Speaker 1: You take them to the airport.
• 1:04:23
  Speaker 4: I know I want to say no. I want to
• 1:04:24
  Speaker 4: say no, I don't want to do it, and I'll
• 1:04:27
  Speaker 4: just be like, all right, I got you, we'll time
• 1:04:29
  Speaker 4: if I leave. But really I really just want to
• 1:04:31
  Speaker 4: say no. But I'll say yeah just cause you call me,
• 1:04:34
  Speaker 4: and I just make sure I get you there or die.
• 1:04:36
  Speaker 4: But now I'm learning I can say no and not
• 1:04:39
  Speaker 4: feel bad about it.
• 1:04:41
  Speaker 1: You know what, So you do you think you were
• 1:04:43
  Speaker 1: saying yeah because you expect something from that person, like
• 1:04:46
  Speaker 1: some type of some gratification at some point, like no,
• 1:04:52
  Speaker 1: Why why you can't say no?
• 1:04:53
  Speaker 4: I just used to like to be there for people,
• 1:04:55
  Speaker 4: you know. I just used to like to be there
• 1:04:57
  Speaker 4: for people, to the point where anyway it would inconvenience me.
• 1:05:00
  Speaker 4: You know, I gotta get it. I gotta get done
• 1:05:03
  Speaker 4: by the airport by two, knowing I gotta do it,
• 1:05:06
  Speaker 4: you know what I'm saying. So now I'm learning, man, Yeah,
• 1:05:08
  Speaker 4: I'm learning now that I could say no confidently and
• 1:05:12
  Speaker 4: not care about it.
• 1:05:14
  Speaker 2: Yeah. I had to learn, like, because you will deplete
• 1:05:17
  Speaker 2: yourself that way. No, it was a complete sentence, no,
• 1:05:21
  Speaker 2: no period. You don't have to explain. Take good years.
• 1:05:24
  Speaker 1: They songs like they just pop up like you know
• 1:05:28
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna say, yeah, so that's why you're calling me.
• 1:05:30
  Speaker 1: But I'm a surprise you today, bitch.
• 1:05:32
  Speaker 4: I mean, it could be different things other than just
• 1:05:34
  Speaker 4: asking for a favor. It could be like, hey, I'm
• 1:05:36
  Speaker 4: having a housewarming. I remember one week somebody invited me
• 1:05:41
  Speaker 4: to a housewarman, a baby shower, a kickback, A promoter
• 1:05:48
  Speaker 4: friend of mine had an event, and then someone asked
• 1:05:51
  Speaker 4: me to help them move all in one week. And
• 1:05:57
  Speaker 4: unfortunately for myself, I tried to make each one of
• 1:06:01
  Speaker 4: those things. Damn they kill myself.
• 1:06:07
  Speaker 2: Did you go to all of them?
• 1:06:08
  Speaker 4: Nope? But I felt bad because I didn't make it
• 1:06:11
  Speaker 4: to one of it. You know what I'm saying. Yeah,
• 1:06:13
  Speaker 4: So I was like, you know what, man, I ever
• 1:06:16
  Speaker 4: had that problem.
• 1:06:17
  Speaker 2: I don't think I ever had that problem. I just
• 1:06:20
  Speaker 2: I'll just say no.
• 1:06:21
  Speaker 4: With love, I do it now. Yeah, I'm learning that
• 1:06:26
  Speaker 4: I can't. I can't make it.
• 1:06:27
  Speaker 2: Call me for money and see what happened. Know, with love,
• 1:06:31
  Speaker 2: I'll tell people like you know, especially if someone's close
• 1:06:34
  Speaker 2: and I noticed urging him black, exhaust every other option
• 1:06:37
  Speaker 2: and then circle back.
• 1:06:40
  Speaker 4: That's cruel, terrible, that is cruel.
• 1:06:44
  Speaker 2: But you'll get it. You'll get it. I'll give it
• 1:06:45
  Speaker 2: to you, but you need to try every other possible
• 1:06:48
  Speaker 2: avenue first. You know, the fuck.
• 1:06:52
  Speaker 1: I would have played a quick game right when we
• 1:06:54
  Speaker 1: get up out of here. So, uh, it's just a
• 1:06:57
  Speaker 1: couple of questions and you have to tell us if
• 1:06:59
  Speaker 1: it's massiw or not. Basically wearing pink.
• 1:07:06
  Speaker 4: That's masculine, man. I love pink, pink, soft, pink, mauve,
• 1:07:13
  Speaker 4: you know anything on that color color.
• 1:07:14
  Speaker 2: Spectrum, you feel like, I don't think clothes, I mean
• 1:07:17
  Speaker 2: like a color there's like no limitation. Yeah, but I
• 1:07:22
  Speaker 2: don't know if I put my baby boy in pink
• 1:07:24
  Speaker 2: though now.
• 1:07:25
  Speaker 4: I won't put a baby, a baby boy in pink
• 1:07:27
  Speaker 4: at that, not at that point, not until later.
• 1:07:29
  Speaker 2: I wonder why if that's something else pink out there
• 1:07:32
  Speaker 2: though the baby boy. You don't really see a lot
• 1:07:35
  Speaker 2: of baby boy pink. You don't know why would we
• 1:07:38
  Speaker 2: do it or not as a baby.
• 1:07:40
  Speaker 1: That's what I'm saying. Unpack that part.
• 1:07:43
  Speaker 2: Crying during a.
• 1:07:44
  Speaker 4: Movie that's masculine. I have cried during the movie. I
• 1:07:49
  Speaker 4: made a Facebook movie. You know what movie I cried on.
• 1:07:53
  Speaker 4: I don't care how hard you think you is. This
• 1:07:57
  Speaker 4: movie will make you cry. A time to killed with
• 1:08:00
  Speaker 4: Samuel el jam Yeah, one those two white boys raped
• 1:08:04
  Speaker 4: his daughter.
• 1:08:04
  Speaker 2: Yeah, oh my god, man, listen.
• 1:08:08
  Speaker 4: Every time. I can't watch that movie all the way through. Boy.
• 1:08:12
  Speaker 2: I remember I went to see Your Best Man Holiday
• 1:08:14
  Speaker 2: with my ex boyfriend and we was in a movie theater.
• 1:08:18
  Speaker 2: He kept on looking like you're straight.
• 1:08:22
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, like he was hard to downstairs at the sky.
• 1:08:26
  Speaker 2: He couldn't keep new tears from following that movie.
• 1:08:28
  Speaker 4: Find a movie that's mascular, Yeah, paid for a first
• 1:08:31
  Speaker 4: date that's masculine.
• 1:08:34
  Speaker 1: Yeah, So, y'all, bitches, stop going to your pocket books.
• 1:08:36
  Speaker 1: I was like, why are you going to your purse?
• 1:08:38
  Speaker 4: You know some woman? You know what a woman told me?
• 1:08:41
  Speaker 4: They say they do that because that's setting up the play.
• 1:08:44
  Speaker 1: Oh okay, yeah, the real gold Diggs do trick for
• 1:08:47
  Speaker 1: some men are offended by that. Yeah, I'm not doing that.
• 1:08:51
  Speaker 4: What about me leave the tip or something that's cool?
• 1:08:54
  Speaker 1: I leave the tip.
• 1:08:55
  Speaker 4: I shouldn't have to.
• 1:08:55
  Speaker 2: Actually, don't walk in don't walk in dark Alley's bitch.
• 1:08:58
  Speaker 2: That's to till uh be a stay at home mom, No,
• 1:09:01
  Speaker 2: being a stay at home dad. I'm sorry. I'm so
• 1:09:04
  Speaker 2: used to saying mom.
• 1:09:06
  Speaker 4: All right before I say, I got to put that
• 1:09:09
  Speaker 4: one in context because I'm a dad now right, and
• 1:09:13
  Speaker 4: I didn't have a full understanding of what it was
• 1:09:16
  Speaker 4: what it was like to be a parent, because kids
• 1:09:19
  Speaker 4: is a lot, a lot, and I'm gonna have to
• 1:09:22
  Speaker 4: say masculine, I'm telling you because people think, oh, it's
• 1:09:27
  Speaker 4: a baby, No, you can go home. That's crazy. I
• 1:09:31
  Speaker 4: made a Facebook poss about this too.
• 1:09:35
  Speaker 2: You can be having.
• 1:09:37
  Speaker 4: A mental breakdown. Kids doing know nothing but none of that.
• 1:09:41
  Speaker 4: They're gonna come to you, daddy, Mama. I want a popsicle,
• 1:09:46
  Speaker 4: take me to the park. I want to go to
• 1:09:48
  Speaker 4: trampoline park. I want to go to this pool. I
• 1:09:50
  Speaker 4: want you'd be like, if you know the day I had,
• 1:09:53
  Speaker 4: you wouldn't ask me for nothing.
• 1:09:54
  Speaker 2: I'm about to stroke out. You want to go.
• 1:09:57
  Speaker 1: It's like your woman is working and you're at your
• 1:10:00
  Speaker 1: I mean stay at home dad. You a woman is
• 1:10:01
  Speaker 1: working and you're at home with the kid. That's masculine.
• 1:10:04
  Speaker 4: That can be masculine as well. Yes, I'm telling you
• 1:10:06
  Speaker 4: because kids is a lot interesting, because that's a duty
• 1:10:10
  Speaker 4: within itself. Taking care of gives at the house, it
• 1:10:12
  Speaker 4: takes a lot.
• 1:10:13
  Speaker 2: Yeah, So asking for emotional reassurance very masculine.
• 1:10:19
  Speaker 4: Yes, because men are very emotional. You know, we were
• 1:10:24
  Speaker 4: taught when we were kids, be tough, holding it in,
• 1:10:27
  Speaker 4: don't cry, don't express yourself. And now you got men
• 1:10:30
  Speaker 4: that are grown adults not knowing how to properly express
• 1:10:35
  Speaker 4: himself to his woman. You see what I'm saying. And
• 1:10:38
  Speaker 4: so he keeps everything inside, you know, he internalizes his emotions,
• 1:10:43
  Speaker 4: how you feel.
• 1:10:45
  Speaker 2: And then everything comes out as anger. Every emotion comes
• 1:10:48
  Speaker 2: out as anger.
• 1:10:49
  Speaker 4: But that's only if his talk Doune exploded. You see
• 1:10:53
  Speaker 4: what I'm saying.
• 1:10:53
  Speaker 2: But the.
• 1:10:56
  Speaker 4: Trick to it is providing a safe space for a
• 1:10:59
  Speaker 4: brother to be emotional. If you provide that, you wouldn't
• 1:11:03
  Speaker 4: have no problem with him communicating or being expressing himself.
• 1:11:05
  Speaker 2: And how do we provide that?
• 1:11:08
  Speaker 4: You provide that by being a good listener, and also
• 1:11:14
  Speaker 4: by being a good listener, also by reaffirmed, reaffirming him
• 1:11:21
  Speaker 4: as he's communicating, you know, letting him again, letting him
• 1:11:24
  Speaker 4: know how how much you appreciate him. Appreciation go a
• 1:11:28
  Speaker 4: long way with men, a long way. Men don't really
• 1:11:32
  Speaker 4: care about love like that, respect and appreciation don't care.
• 1:11:37
  Speaker 2: They don't want to be loved, They want to be
• 1:11:38
  Speaker 2: appreciated and respected.
• 1:11:40
  Speaker 4: Men you love the kids. Men won't respect. Love will
• 1:11:44
  Speaker 4: come from that.
• 1:11:46
  Speaker 1: Telling you, uh, taken longer than your girl to get dressed.
• 1:11:50
  Speaker 4: I could be very feminine. Feminine, No, I listen when
• 1:11:56
  Speaker 4: am innute shower. I know what I'm putting on when
• 1:11:58
  Speaker 4: I get out the shower, like I already be thinking
• 1:12:00
  Speaker 4: about that, you know. And the men don't got to
• 1:12:02
  Speaker 4: do all the other aesthetics to get themselves together. You know,
• 1:12:05
  Speaker 4: sometimes our women women ugly. No, I understand. Women gotta
• 1:12:09
  Speaker 4: take time to enhance their beauty, you know. You know,
• 1:12:12
  Speaker 4: y'all gotta get right.
• 1:12:14
  Speaker 2: What about meditating or journaling?
• 1:12:18
  Speaker 4: That can be a mixture of both. That could be
• 1:12:22
  Speaker 4: a mixture of both. In my opinion, you don't write.
• 1:12:24
  Speaker 2: It down.
• 1:12:28
  Speaker 4: Norogyness is what you're saying somewhat yes, because I compartmentalize
• 1:12:32
  Speaker 4: everything like, Okay, I know I gotta do this, I
• 1:12:34
  Speaker 4: gotta do that, I gotta do that, I gotta do that.
• 1:12:35
  Speaker 4: I don't have to write it down for me, you know.
• 1:12:38
  Speaker 2: And I don't you be forgetting ship?
• 1:12:40
  Speaker 1: I might have said, do you actually be executed because
• 1:12:42
  Speaker 1: a lot of your niggas is unetequinte yahd medicine.
• 1:12:47
  Speaker 4: Very organized and punctual. You see, I gotta here with Tom.
• 1:12:53
  Speaker 2: We will see sometime.
• 1:12:54
  Speaker 1: We was letting your woman take the.
• 1:12:56
  Speaker 4: Lead in bed in bed very masculine. We want that, yes,
• 1:13:03
  Speaker 4: because men like to be desired as well. Yes, we
• 1:13:06
  Speaker 4: don't always want to be not all the time. We
• 1:13:08
  Speaker 4: don't always want to be the one to the first move.
• 1:13:11
  Speaker 4: Sometimes come over here, Yeah, come over here.
• 1:13:14
  Speaker 1: And what if your man say? What if your man
• 1:13:17
  Speaker 1: be like, I don't feel like it today, Tom.
• 1:13:19
  Speaker 4: Give me that date? How do you feel about that?
• 1:13:25
  Speaker 4: If he said I don't feel like it today?
• 1:13:27
  Speaker 1: Listen, I don't want to know why I have had
• 1:13:30
  Speaker 1: it like this is this wasn't a boyfriend and I'd
• 1:13:32
  Speaker 1: never been turned out by like a boy's right, by
• 1:13:34
  Speaker 1: somebody I was fucking with and he told me he
• 1:13:38
  Speaker 1: wants to be alone tonight, he wants a me time,
• 1:13:43
  Speaker 1: and I didn't talk alone.
• 1:13:44
  Speaker 4: Damn, the man can't have no me time.
• 1:13:47
  Speaker 1: Hell no, because that hold on. What that means is
• 1:13:51
  Speaker 1: you're not gonna always feel like the person you're fucking with.
• 1:13:53
  Speaker 1: You do do it sometimes because they want to, right.
• 1:13:56
  Speaker 1: So you mean to tell me you only gonna fuck
• 1:13:59
  Speaker 1: with me when you feel like it, Like, that's.
• 1:14:01
  Speaker 2: Not what's wrong with that?
• 1:14:03
  Speaker 1: No, that means if I don't fuck Okay, obviously I
• 1:14:06
  Speaker 1: fucked with you and I didn't feel like it at
• 1:14:08
  Speaker 1: some point that was a personal choice. You could say that.
• 1:14:11
  Speaker 1: That's to me. I hate when people be like, well,
• 1:14:12
  Speaker 1: you chose to do that, because relationships is always given,
• 1:14:16
  Speaker 1: taking people choosing and making sacrifices. So no, you can't
• 1:14:22
  Speaker 1: tell me you feel like being alone tonight because you
• 1:14:24
  Speaker 1: think when you call me tomorrow when you feel like me,
• 1:14:26
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna just come over there.
• 1:14:27
  Speaker 2: But you can't say you feel alone.
• 1:14:29
  Speaker 1: It's not if I if I like somebody, I'm not
• 1:14:32
  Speaker 1: just trying to just we don't even have to have sex.
• 1:14:34
  Speaker 1: We could just I like to be alone with somebody
• 1:14:37
  Speaker 1: that's you.
• 1:14:38
  Speaker 4: Yeah, that's what If he said, hey, not tonight, or
• 1:14:43
  Speaker 4: I need some time to myself, so he can.
• 1:14:46
  Speaker 1: He just I want to be alone to night.
• 1:14:49
  Speaker 2: What if he had something happen.
• 1:14:51
  Speaker 1: If it's his mind, I was going to fuck somebody else. Man,
• 1:14:54
  Speaker 1: it's okay, and listen and here's the thing, and here's
• 1:14:58
  Speaker 1: the thing. You can do that, right. I'm not somebody
• 1:15:02
  Speaker 1: you could just brush off like that. You can't do
• 1:15:06
  Speaker 1: that to me. So I didn't know. I'm not holding
• 1:15:08
  Speaker 1: a grudge against him, like I still talk to him
• 1:15:09
  Speaker 1: when I see him and shit like that. But I
• 1:15:11
  Speaker 1: stopped talking with him.
• 1:15:12
  Speaker 4: That's crazy.
• 1:15:13
  Speaker 2: Just because he wanted to be alone one night.
• 1:15:17
  Speaker 4: Man wanted some time. Maybe he didn't feel like it
• 1:15:19
  Speaker 4: was fair for you, to fair to you, for him
• 1:15:22
  Speaker 4: to be in that space around you.
• 1:15:24
  Speaker 2: Maybe he feels like he didn't deserve your energy that
• 1:15:26
  Speaker 2: night because it's something he was going through mentally.
• 1:15:28
  Speaker 4: But if it was some health issues, what if it
• 1:15:31
  Speaker 4: was he I just found out some bad news.
• 1:15:35
  Speaker 1: You had to hurt break out. Good goddamn.
• 1:15:42
  Speaker 4: Health.
• 1:15:42
  Speaker 1: They got a breakout, he got it somewhere life.
• 1:15:47
  Speaker 2: Godda right, nig can't even have a bad day man alone.
• 1:15:52
  Speaker 1: It was a Friday night. Quit playing in my face
• 1:15:55
  Speaker 1: and then like anytime after that, you was on my
• 1:15:57
  Speaker 1: nuts if I had some you see what I'm saying.
• 1:16:00
  Speaker 1: So it's when I took my energy completely away from
• 1:16:03
  Speaker 1: him because I know, first of all, this is community dick. Okay,
• 1:16:08
  Speaker 1: all right, set up the play, set up the story's
• 1:16:10
  Speaker 1: o community dick. And this wasn't this is this is
• 1:16:13
  Speaker 1: just I was doing some shit because sometimes I get
• 1:16:16
  Speaker 1: bored if I'm single.
• 1:16:17
  Speaker 2: Okay, So.
• 1:16:19
  Speaker 1: Yeah, like I know this person, so I know how
• 1:16:24
  Speaker 1: he moves. So you you maybe it would have been
• 1:16:27
  Speaker 1: better if he said, no, I'm having somebody else over
• 1:16:30
  Speaker 1: the night. Maybe I would have taken to that more.
• 1:16:32
  Speaker 2: I don't know that you would have accepted that more
• 1:16:35
  Speaker 2: than I want to be alone time.
• 1:16:36
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I feel like that.
• 1:16:39
  Speaker 2: Why would you accept that more? Because now that that
• 1:16:41
  Speaker 2: feels like now you're choosing somebody over me. That's a
• 1:16:44
  Speaker 2: problem to me.
• 1:16:45
  Speaker 1: But I feel like you lied and chose somebody over me,
• 1:16:48
  Speaker 1: which is why you don't have access to me.
• 1:16:50
  Speaker 2: No, if it's not a lot that but what if
• 1:16:52
  Speaker 2: it's not a lie.
• 1:16:54
  Speaker 1: If I call, I do because I took my energy
• 1:16:56
  Speaker 1: from him. I bet you I can call him every
• 1:16:58
  Speaker 1: single It's when they think they some type of control,
• 1:17:01
  Speaker 1: so I took the control back.
• 1:17:04
  Speaker 4: You can't funk that was in competition with one another.
• 1:17:06
  Speaker 2: That's what someone.
• 1:17:07
  Speaker 1: I wasn't in competition.
• 1:17:09
  Speaker 2: I wasn't in man.
• 1:17:10
  Speaker 4: I just wanted some me time.
• 1:17:11
  Speaker 1: And you, hey boy, fuck you going out your mean
• 1:17:15
  Speaker 1: time and you can't never talk to me no time.
• 1:17:20
  Speaker 4: And send the block?
• 1:17:22
  Speaker 3: All right?
• 1:17:22
  Speaker 2: Do you say I love you? What about saying I
• 1:17:24
  Speaker 2: love you to your male friends?
• 1:17:26
  Speaker 4: That has been hard for me. But I do love
• 1:17:30
  Speaker 4: my I do love my male friends. I love all
• 1:17:32
  Speaker 4: of them.
• 1:17:32
  Speaker 2: But telling them is hard.
• 1:17:34
  Speaker 1: Why you just just saying, like one of your homeboys
• 1:17:37
  Speaker 1: been calling y'all and telling y'all how he loved y'all
• 1:17:40
  Speaker 1: when he drunk.
• 1:17:41
  Speaker 4: Yeah, when he drunk.
• 1:17:42
  Speaker 2: But maybe that just allows him to be more more vulnerable.
• 1:17:46
  Speaker 4: No, that's dangerous because you get fucked. No, don't call
• 1:17:54
  Speaker 4: me when you're intoxicated. But brother, I love you. Brother.
• 1:17:56
  Speaker 4: What you're about to do? Be about to jump off
• 1:17:59
  Speaker 4: a bridge? No, no, what you about to do? But
• 1:18:03
  Speaker 4: to answer the question, that's masculine. That's masculine.
• 1:18:07
  Speaker 2: But why do you have trouble with it?
• 1:18:10
  Speaker 4: Because I was never around men who said that to
• 1:18:16
  Speaker 4: other men glowing up. You know, even the men didn't
• 1:18:19
  Speaker 4: growing up my father. Fortunately for me, my father told
• 1:18:22
  Speaker 4: me as a kid he loved me. But a lot
• 1:18:24
  Speaker 4: of men in the community didn't tell other adolescents that
• 1:18:28
  Speaker 4: they loved them. And hear other men tell other men
• 1:18:31
  Speaker 4: that they love them, so that was always hard for me.
• 1:18:34
  Speaker 4: I get it, so it's easy for me to tell
• 1:18:36
  Speaker 4: my child.
• 1:18:36
  Speaker 2: But I challenge you all men listening, if you listen
• 1:18:39
  Speaker 2: to the show, tell your friends you love them.
• 1:18:41
  Speaker 4: I love y'all, man, I love each and every last
• 1:18:43
  Speaker 4: one of you. Guys.
• 1:18:44
  Speaker 2: Man, hey, man, see I love that.
• 1:18:48
  Speaker 1: I love that.
• 1:18:49
  Speaker 2: I tell listen. I tell our listeners every day, every episode,
• 1:18:54
  Speaker 2: I tell them I love them because some people don't
• 1:18:56
  Speaker 2: hear it.
• 1:18:56
  Speaker 4: It's the fact I actually have friends that old me
• 1:19:01
  Speaker 4: that their parents never told them that.
• 1:19:03
  Speaker 2: They love exactly. You know, some people never hear it.
• 1:19:05
  Speaker 2: They just would love for them mama, just to say
• 1:19:08
  Speaker 2: I love you, you know. So that's why I tell you,
• 1:19:11
  Speaker 2: because if you ain't gonna hear it, nowhere else you'n.
• 1:19:14
  Speaker 1: We talk about just be telling people I love them,
• 1:19:16
  Speaker 1: because my love comes with action. I can't just fribuously
• 1:19:19
  Speaker 1: tell just people random people I love y'all because you don't. Yeah,
• 1:19:26
  Speaker 1: because I don't know people right right, And it's like, uh,
• 1:19:31
  Speaker 1: my love does not really come with conditions either, Like
• 1:19:34
  Speaker 1: real love does not come with conditions. So I can't
• 1:19:39
  Speaker 1: just use that word with a bunch of people that
• 1:19:42
  Speaker 1: I don't know, because the minutes you disappoint them, they
• 1:19:44
  Speaker 1: will turn on you and they never loved you, you
• 1:19:46
  Speaker 1: know what I'm saying. The minute you do or say
• 1:19:48
  Speaker 1: something they don't like, they turn it on you. So
• 1:19:51
  Speaker 1: did you ever love me for real? Or a minute
• 1:19:53
  Speaker 1: they say you do something to you like fuck you.
• 1:19:55
  Speaker 1: I don't really be quick to tell people I love
• 1:19:57
  Speaker 1: fuck them? Yeah, you know what I'm saying. So I
• 1:20:00
  Speaker 1: can't really get into what strangers like that. I absolutely
• 1:20:04
  Speaker 1: appreciate everybody though. I have a lot of gratitude and
• 1:20:08
  Speaker 1: thanks for everybody. But I have a real love a
• 1:20:11
  Speaker 1: girl like for real, for real, and I be like
• 1:20:16
  Speaker 1: in my feelings about shit. So if I feel like
• 1:20:18
  Speaker 1: slighted after I had outside, oh marshmallow on that.
• 1:20:23
  Speaker 2: Side, that's very See. I just id like to think
• 1:20:26
  Speaker 2: that I walk around with Gods loving me every day
• 1:20:28
  Speaker 2: and I want to display that and every day. And
• 1:20:31
  Speaker 2: that's why I tell people I love them, because that's
• 1:20:33
  Speaker 2: what we're supposed to exhibit.
• 1:20:35
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I play it.
• 1:20:37
  Speaker 1: I ain't gonna say it. I'm gonna do you gotta
• 1:20:39
  Speaker 1: do bo. Yeah, I'm gonna do the things to let
• 1:20:42
  Speaker 1: you know I love you. And that is because of
• 1:20:44
  Speaker 1: how I was raised. My mama never was just giving
• 1:20:47
  Speaker 1: out hugs and saying I love you, But you knew
• 1:20:50
  Speaker 1: she loved you. But the things, you know, how she
• 1:20:53
  Speaker 1: shows up for you absolutely just raw love.
• 1:20:57
  Speaker 4: But then you gotta look at what they heard versus
• 1:20:59
  Speaker 4: what they didn't hear. You see what I'm saying. Did
• 1:21:02
  Speaker 4: their parents tell them I love you? You see what
• 1:21:04
  Speaker 4: I'm saying because I think.
• 1:21:06
  Speaker 2: Hearing it is important?
• 1:21:07
  Speaker 1: No, it is, it is important for today. I love y'all.
• 1:21:12
  Speaker 2: Y'all right, here, we love you too, John, I got
• 1:21:20
  Speaker 2: some love right for a second.
• 1:21:22
  Speaker 1: No, let me tell y'all, y'all experience this love is
• 1:21:26
  Speaker 1: gonna make you a better person. I'm telling you I create.
• 1:21:28
  Speaker 2: God, right, Amen, Do you have a last?
• 1:21:32
  Speaker 3: Last?
• 1:21:33
  Speaker 1: Terry?
• 1:21:34
  Speaker 2: Tell everybody where they can find you, follow you, support
• 1:21:37
  Speaker 2: you all the things.
• 1:21:38
  Speaker 4: Great great great. My name is Terry. You can find
• 1:21:41
  Speaker 4: me on Instagram at I Am so Charleston, At I
• 1:21:46
  Speaker 4: Am so Charleston. I A M C H A r
• 1:21:51
  Speaker 4: l E S t O.
• 1:21:52
  Speaker 2: N you love out the song from the West.
• 1:21:55
  Speaker 4: I said so, I A M S O C H
• 1:21:59
  Speaker 4: A R r l E S t O with.
• 1:22:02
  Speaker 1: Erga shame anyway, y'all. If y'all enjoyed this episode, y'all
• 1:22:07
  Speaker 1: tune in every Thursday on The Black Effect. iHeart radio
• 1:22:09
  Speaker 1: app and Kevin Heart. We need to check because he
• 1:22:12
  Speaker 1: loveed to kill Lokate. I've been buying that ship.
• 1:22:14
  Speaker 4: What is it?
• 1:22:15
  Speaker 1: I can't pronounce it. It's to Kevin Heart to Quille.
• 1:22:18
  Speaker 2: It did you tell him you're nos?
• 1:22:24
  Speaker 1: Aj Holiday two play on Instagram's Kicking Tam.
• 1:22:26
  Speaker 2: Y'all, It's official Tam Bam on Instagram. Remember speak now,
• 1:22:31
  Speaker 2: m And lastly.
• 1:22:33
  Speaker 4: I just want to say I am very proud of
• 1:22:34
  Speaker 4: you both. I see the progress and only God knows
• 1:22:39
  Speaker 4: what he has the store for y'all.
• 1:22:40
  Speaker 2: A man, thank you, We appreciate that.
• 1:22:42
  Speaker 3: Best. Last, Oh, it's not last.
• 1:22:44
  Speaker 2: Last, Yes, speak now, thank you, and never hold your accountability,
• 1:22:49
  Speaker 2: own it.
• 1:22:51
  Speaker 1: We talk Back podcast is the production of iHeart Radio.
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• 1:22:59
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