Latest / The Lesbian Loudmouth Podcast / 400 Pounds of Tomatoes and a String of Unfortunate Events

Transcript

400 Pounds of Tomatoes and a String of Unfortunate Events · The Lesbian Loudmouth Podcast

• 0:00
  Hello, friends. I've been faced with a wonderful opportunity today,
• 0:04
  thanks to construction.
• 0:06
  I've just got so much time. I left my house, I'm going to say 8.55 a.m.
• 0:12
  I've been driving for 20 minutes, and I think I've gone a kilometer. Maybe? Yeah.
• 0:17
  You know, what a good thing to bring us together. Let's make the worst out of
• 0:22
  a terrible situation, shall we?
• 0:24
  Yeah, no problem. I don't know if you guys listened to the last episode or the
• 0:27
  one before that, or maybe the one before that? I don't know.
• 0:30
  I've bored so many for so long. It's hard to even keep these things straight. Oh my God.
• 0:34
  Now a semi is trying to get into the only turning lane.
• 0:39
  Oh man. This is okay. That's all right. It's okay. You know,
• 0:43
  play by play. Yeah. Anyway, my mom is convinced that I'm cursed with the evil eye.
• 0:48
  And, you know, I balked at it. I made fun of it. She said she was healing it.
• 0:52
  And I'm pretty sure she just made it worse.
• 0:54
  Because since I told you that story, there's been a couple things that have
• 0:58
  happened that just kind of fucking suck.
• 1:01
  I get a call from my son saying the Wi-Fi is not working.
• 1:05
  You know, the only thing that that kid is able, sorry, capable of even fucking noticing is the Wi-Fi.
• 1:10
  Okay, well go downstairs. So he's got me on FaceTime.
• 1:13
  He's like, oh, the router's all wet. And I'm like, oh fuck. Cause it's in the basement, right?
• 1:17
  Shouldn't be water in your basement on a scale of one to water in your basement.
• 1:22
  It should be a one. Am I right? Okay.
• 1:24
  And he tips it over and he's like, oh, it's coming out of the ceiling.
• 1:27
  And I was like, fuck, I just, and I'm at work, right?
• 1:29
  Like I am in the middle of fucking nowhere, doing not much of anything really.
• 1:34
  And now I have to figure, and like the wifi router at my house is like right
• 1:39
  inside of a cabinet that also contains the electrical panel.
• 1:45
  And I'm not, you know, smart, but I do know that water and electricity don't mix.
• 1:51
  Right. So I get panicked. My boss was so nice to me and he's like,
• 1:53
  yeah, just go home, figure it out. You know, you got to take care of that.
• 1:56
  And I thought, man, I am so lucky.
• 1:58
  Like I have been really lucky in my career to work for awesome people.
• 2:02
  And I know a lot of people don't get to say that. And a lot of people hate their
• 2:05
  bosses, but I don't. And I don't think I ever have had a boss that I didn't really like.
• 2:10
  Hashtag blessed. I know you're right, right? And so my son's looking through
• 2:13
  the thing. He's like, there's no pipes here.
• 2:15
  And I'm like, well, this kid's clearly a fucking moron. So I get home and I'm
• 2:18
  like, well, look, I'm going to call a plumber because I saw what I thought was
• 2:21
  a water pipe because it was a metal pipe, but I should have known better because
• 2:25
  they don't put metal pipes for water anymore. You get plastic ones.
• 2:28
  I don't know if that's better or cheaper or both.
• 2:31
  Yada, yada, yada. I was stressed out. Call a plumber. I spent $140 for him to
• 2:35
  tell me that it wasn't a plumbing issue.
• 2:37
  Isn't that fun? Isn't that fun? And then he goes and looks outside.
• 2:40
  He's like, oh yeah, it was raining, eh? And I was like, yeah, it was raining.
• 2:42
  He's like, here's your problem right here. And he pointed to like this weird
• 2:46
  hairline crack around the gas...
• 2:50
  The whatever that goes into the house. He's like, yeah, put some putty or some
• 2:54
  silicone around that and you should be fine. And I was like, wow, okay.
• 2:57
  And you know, in my son's defense, that was his prognosis as well.
• 3:01
  He's like, yeah, the water's dripping off of the pipe and this pipe leads to outside.
• 3:05
  And then I hate that. I hate when he's fucking right.
• 3:07
  You know what I mean? It's like super annoying to me that he's right.
• 3:10
  I mean, don't get me wrong. He's smarter than me, but like who isn't really?
• 3:16
  I mean, brass tacks, right folks?
• 3:21
  Oh, man. Okay, so that was one thing. You know, we dried everything off.
• 3:26
  I bought a dehumidifier. I put it in that room.
• 3:29
  It hasn't leaked since we siliconed it up with outdoor silicone.
• 3:32
  Hashtag blessed. And then my kids and my partner were in a law form.
• 3:38
  I practice law. I'm just kidding.
• 3:40
  I don't really like the term partner. It makes me feel weird.
• 3:42
  But girlfriend seems like minimal and wife just, you know, common law wife,
• 3:47
  I guess, but it's not technically true.
• 3:50
  Oh, I'm going to have to let this guy in ahead of me. I fucking,
• 3:52
  I'm such a nice person. I can't even take it.
• 3:54
  Good for you, buddy. That's some good driving. Oh, he's talking to himself.
• 3:57
  I do that all the time too. Yeah.
• 3:59
  Thoughts and prayers, friend. What the fuck was I talking about now?
• 4:02
  Sorry, this is some real ADHD shit you're getting right here. Right now, sorry.
• 4:06
  Tired. I'm very tired. Okay, anyway, fucking focus here, dude.
• 4:11
  Okay, so we did the water pipe thing. What happened next? Oh,
• 4:13
  my kids were in Gimli. I'm heating up some chili.
• 4:16
  All of a sudden, my microwave starts smoking, like just big, curly plumes of smoke.
• 4:23
  And it took me a while to notice because I'm half an idiot. And I was like, wait a minute.
• 4:29
  Yeah, grab the food. The food's still cold, but the microwave's still smoking.
• 4:33
  And I'm like, I guess I'm going to have to grab my dog and run for my fucking life.
• 4:38
  I kept touching the microwave, the outside of it, and it wasn't hot.
• 4:43
  And eventually the smoke stopped. But don't worry, the smoke detectors work
• 4:46
  because they were going off.
• 4:48
  They were like screaming fire fire like you know it's disheartening you don't
• 4:53
  nobody wants to hear that.
• 4:55
  And then when I told Sarah this story, she's like, so you would have gotten Coco out? Uh-huh.
• 5:00
  And you would have grabbed the yellow binder? I'm like, of course I would have.
• 5:04
  She's like, you know, the yellow binder that, say, has our passports, our life insurance,
• 5:08
  our wills, the adoption information, like all of that stuff that I've told you
• 5:13
  multiple times if there's ever an emergency and you need to get out,
• 5:18
  try and grab the yellow binder. And I was like, of course, yes.
• 5:21
  She's like, go get it. And I'm like, get what? And she's like,
• 5:24
  go get the yellow binder. And I was like, I don't know where it is. Yeah. Okay.
• 5:29
  You know, right? Because I'm a fucking child. I just, I never would have remembered
• 5:33
  that because I was in full panic mode thinking I was going to die in my own defense.
• 5:36
  Now, the next thing that happens is I join my family in Gimli.
• 5:41
  And yeah, Coco Stanley does not like being in new places.
• 5:45
  He's, I know, everyone's mad. I'm mad too. I have been in this fucking lane
• 5:49
  going nowhere for how many minutes now? Like a million minutes, okay?
• 5:54
  Half of my life to paddleboard or something. I fucking hate the outdoors,
• 5:58
  honest to God. I don't know. But I went because, you know, yeah.
• 6:01
  Allergic to fucking everything, namely eggs and pistachios and cashews.
• 6:05
  And it's hard to go places, restaurants. I like to cook at home anyway,
• 6:09
  but I just, you're basically putting your life in someone else's hands,
• 6:12
  which I don't enjoy because overall, you know, some of the kids that work in
• 6:17
  those restaurants are just like,
• 6:20
  you know, I don't know how to, I just don't, I don't trust them.
• 6:23
  There, okay, I'm going to say it. I think kids are kind of fucking dumb.
• 6:26
  Like, I think I was kind of fucking dumb. And I think these kids are dumb.
• 6:29
  Go in there, we go to this restaurant, we're going to make a to-go order,
• 6:34
  explain to the girl at the front that there's an allergy to eggs. And she's like, okay.
• 6:39
  And I'm like, it's like a real allergy. Like, you know, it's important that
• 6:44
  there's no cross-contamination, no tartar sauce in the bag, okay?
• 6:49
  Yeah, no problem, okay? Yeah, I got it, I got it. And she did,
• 6:52
  she got it. She wrote allergy on the chit in big letters.
• 6:56
  There, get the food. The manager's running the food. I'm assuming the manager
• 7:01
  because she looked craggly.
• 7:03
  Like I'm scraggly, but she looked craggly. Okay. Like she got,
• 7:06
  she looked like she had a hard fucking life.
• 7:07
  And she had one of those deep voices that like made me think she smoked a carton
• 7:11
  of cigarettes every week.
• 7:12
  I'm making judgments on nothing. Okay, fine. You're right. No,
• 7:15
  you're right. You're right.
• 7:16
  I know. I'm sorry. I'm a bad person. Yeah. She comes out. She's like,
• 7:20
  here you go. I'm like, is there tartar sauce in the bag with the allergy food?
• 7:24
  And she said, yes, there is. And I was like, right, okay.
• 7:28
  She just kind of like hung her head and she's like, you know,
• 7:30
  I feel like if I were in that situation and I were the manager,
• 7:33
  I would have just apologized.
• 7:36
  But she, she's like, okay, we'll remake it. And I'm like, yeah, you're fucking gonna.
• 7:41
  And she said, well, next time you need to really make sure that the girl at
• 7:44
  the front knows it's an allergy. I'm like, well, she, she wrote it down in big block letters.
• 7:48
  I looked at it. I know she wrote it down. She's like, yeah, but like,
• 7:51
  I should be the one to handle that. And I was like, well, yeah, okay.
• 7:56
  Like, don't blame me for your fuck up. As soon as there's an allergy,
• 7:59
  there should be like a protocol in place, I'm gonna say,
• 8:02
  where the manager handles the food and watches the fucking 13-year-old pimply-faced
• 8:06
  fucking idiot making it to make sure it's going well. I don't know. Maybe that's just me.
• 8:12
  Yada, yada. My son wanted pickerel. He got pickerel. Okay, it's a fish.
• 8:16
  Don't ask me anything more about it. I don't fucking know. We get home and, you know, he's 13.
• 8:20
  He cannot shovel food into his body fast enough. And he is.
• 8:24
  He's shoveling food. And I think Sarah said, make sure you chew,
• 8:27
  because, like, he's just like a snake at this point.
• 8:31
  And then it starts, right? I go get my food. I was very happy.
• 8:34
  I got a chicken souvlaki pita, which is like a fucking delight.
• 8:36
  It's a very Greek thing to have, and it's, like, usually very garlicky and delicious.
• 8:41
  I go to sit down, and I smash my foot on the underside of the table leg.
• 8:48
  Like, just fucking smashed it. And, like, listen, I can experience pain.
• 8:54
  I'm not exactly the toughest chick in the world, but I'm not going to be a fucking
• 8:57
  crybaby about it. But I was like, oh, my God.
• 9:01
  Oh, fuck. Like, I almost cried. It was pretty bad.
• 9:04
  But you know what? It's okay. It's fine. It's fine. I can't be that mad.
• 9:08
  Look, there's a chicken pita right in front of me just waiting for me to inhale it.
• 9:10
  And then my son goes, oh, oh, there's something in my throat.
• 9:14
  There's something in my throat.
• 9:16
  I'm going to barf. I'm going to barf. And I'm like, hey, go barf.
• 9:18
  Like, what the fuck is going on? Are you joking? No.
• 9:21
  Cause like, you know, he's talking and then he goes and he throws up and he's
• 9:23
  like, oh, something's in my throat.
• 9:24
  Something's in my throat. And I can see he's like panicking.
• 9:27
  Right. Cause like, Hey, you know, breathing's kind of essential.
• 9:30
  Swallowing is also kind of fucking essential.
• 9:33
  And after about an hour, I'm just like, dude, we've got to go to the hospital.
• 9:37
  Like, I don't know what to do. Like, is it, I keep
• 9:39
  envisioning like those metal scrubbies maybe one
• 9:42
  of those got into his throat one of those brushes for a
• 9:45
  grill maybe that's in there like I just want to make sure that that
• 9:49
  is out of the question and we go to the emergency room
• 9:53
  in Gimli where there is one doctor and
• 9:56
  like look man I get it no one wants to work in
• 9:59
  small towns we're lucky there is even an emergency room
• 10:02
  we were lucky there was a doctor at all and you
• 10:05
  know my bedtime is promptly at 8 30 like that's
• 10:08
  that's it I'm a fucking tired old person and
• 10:11
  this all started at 6 30 so we were at in the emergency
• 10:14
  room for four no three and a half hours I think
• 10:17
  we left there about 10 30 and what are
• 10:21
  you gonna do it was just so odd like this poor woman doctor I saw her walk out
• 10:26
  with her lunch kit and I'm like fuck she's not coming back for an hour like
• 10:30
  she's gonna get an hour lunch and I thought ah fuck here we go but the people
• 10:34
  in there there was like a hutterite woman and then her friend and then their husbands came later and
• 10:40
  then they ordered pizza to the to the emergency waiting room which I thought
• 10:44
  was like a fucking pretty smart move like that's a badass move or hey can I
• 10:48
  get like two extra large pizzas.
• 10:50
  To the emergency room waiting room kudos to them but then the doctor came she
• 10:54
  just kept like diagnosing people in the waiting room she's like yeah there's
• 10:59
  no bacteria you just have a cold you need to drink a lot of fluids and rest
• 11:03
  and I thought holy shit okay and then this other woman And she's like,
• 11:06
  yeah, I don't see any signs of an ulcer.
• 11:08
  You need to go to your own general practitioner, your doctor,
• 11:11
  and follow up with him. She's gone.
• 11:13
  And then the hydrate woman, they didn't even see her. We went in next.
• 11:16
  Oh, there's no metal object in there. She's like, you need a scope for him.
• 11:19
  I don't have a scope here. You're going to have to go to the children's hospital
• 11:22
  in the city. And I was like, well, great, because we're fucking leaving tomorrow.
• 11:25
  And yeah, we ended up doing that. I had to take my daughter to a birthday party.
• 11:29
  So Sarah took my son to the children's hospital where they did, in fact, do a scope.
• 11:33
  That poor kid. Holy shit. and he said, I can't see anything.
• 11:37
  It looks scratched. There's a lot of mucus.
• 11:39
  Drink some Coke. It'll help dissolve it. Bones dissolve.
• 11:42
  Yeah, and that was my restful vacation weekend in Gimli. That's what happened.
• 11:48
  So that's another thing that happened.
• 11:50
  And then I'm sure there's a couple other things that I am just like blocking out right now.
• 11:55
  But the most recent thing that happened is I ordered 400 pounds of tomatoes.
• 12:01
  I am blinking so hard right now because I just...
• 12:05
  I don't know. It almost destroyed my marriage. Like we, I don't know.
• 12:10
  It just, it takes such a toll because it's like, I'm doing this for hours and
• 12:16
  hours and hours and hours.
• 12:17
  Like I didn't even count how many hours it took me.
• 12:21
  And I actually got like, Sarah helped me. I don't know if it was out of kindness
• 12:25
  or just frustration or just not wanting to see two four by eight foot tables
• 12:30
  completely filled with tomatoes. I don't know.
• 12:33
  I can show you a picture if you're interested. you just reach out and show me that.
• 12:36
  Tell me and I'll borrow the shit out of you. And what happens with the tomatoes,
• 12:40
  you see, is they have to get boiled until they soften and they have to get strained.
• 12:44
  And then they go through a tomato press and then the press shoots out the pulp and the seeds.
• 12:49
  And then you get this nice sauce that comes out.
• 12:53
  But I make it for us. I make it for my mother-in-law. I make it for my aunt and I make it for my mom.
• 12:58
  It's a lot, right? And then I make salsa and then I do some sun-dried tomatoes,
• 13:01
  which may or may not give me botulism, but whatever, that's that's my risk to
• 13:04
  take and uh yeah i'm in the middle of this god-awful tomato press.
• 13:10
  Progress process sorry god i just can't
• 13:12
  even keep my eyes open and yada yada yada i say to my son listen we're gonna
• 13:17
  have chicken fingers and fries tonight and he's like okay so he gets everything
• 13:20
  for me he puts it on the tray and then i don't know what happened at that point
• 13:25
  i'm like he's just looking at me like yeah well put it in the oven like what
• 13:28
  are you waiting further instruction Like,
• 13:30
  what do you think the instruction is going to be? Puts it in the oven. It's on air fry.
• 13:33
  And he's like, okay. And I was like, okay, well, you know, 15 minutes go by of torture.
• 13:38
  And I finally stop what I'm doing. And I go into the oven and I'm confronted
• 13:42
  with a tray of chicken fingers and fries that I was anticipating.
• 13:46
  And what I wasn't anticipating is a phone that was in the oven.
• 13:50
  Now, I don't know. I can't remember. Did I put, was the, was the phone beside the tray?
• 13:54
  Did I lift the tray up to reveal the phone? I really do not know.
• 13:58
  All I know is there's a phone smoking and clearly very fucking hot.
• 14:03
  I'm going to guess the 400 degrees the oven was at.
• 14:06
  And it had been in there for 15 minutes. And it has a lithium battery in it.
• 14:10
  And yeah, I panicked. I fucking panicked super hard.
• 14:14
  And I didn't know what to do. So I grabbed it with my oven mitt and I threw it in the sink.
• 14:18
  And then I, it's smoking, man. And I put water on it.
• 14:22
  And then that was like clearly the wrong thing to do. because these huge,
• 14:25
  huge smoke clouds started and I was inhaling it and it smelled like I was like
• 14:31
  I'm going to get cancer in five years.
• 14:32
  That's what it smelled like. And I have PTSD from the microwave doing a very similar thing.
• 14:39
  And yeah, I decided water was a bad idea. So I just took it outside and I threw
• 14:44
  it in the fucking grass and turned the oven off.
• 14:47
  And then we all, we all just sat outside and waited for the carcinogenic smoke
• 14:51
  to clear yeah so that you know that was fun that was fun yeah so evil eye i
• 14:58
  mean what are the chances.
• 15:02
  That's just some old wives' tale. Yeah. Yeah.
• 15:06
  I don't know what else to tell you guys, man. Like, I'm kind of just afraid to be alive right now.
• 15:11
  I'm just waiting for something else to happen because these things just keep happening.
• 15:15
  And like, I've gotten out of it by the skin of my teeth somehow and not like
• 15:21
  fucking died or set the entire house on fire.
• 15:23
  And for the record, when the phone was on fire, or not on fire,
• 15:28
  smoking, it wasn't on fire.
• 15:30
  I also didn't grab the yellow binder. I didn't, didn't take that outside either.
• 15:34
  And, you know, I told my coworkers this story and, and one of them showed me
• 15:38
  a video of what a lithium battery looks like when it explodes.
• 15:41
  And it's not like a little, it's like, oh, and it, yeah, I'm really lucky.
• 15:46
  I noticed that when I did and my oven didn't fucking explode and my house wasn't on fire.
• 15:52
  Like, does, does insurance cover that? Like, would that have been some form
• 15:56
  of negligence? And then I just wouldn't have a house anymore.
• 15:59
  I don't know. I'm just really thankful that that didn't
• 16:02
  happen I just yeah you know
• 16:05
  I just need a break like I need I need something good
• 16:08
  to happen and it just feels like like I'm
• 16:11
  not gonna get that you know what I mean it's
• 16:14
  just I think this is like a series of unfortunate events
• 16:18
  that one could construe as the evil eye but also
• 16:21
  I can feel my seasonal depression just just
• 16:25
  turn in the corner you know and i'm about to head into my least favorite
• 16:28
  time of the year and i'm imbalanced like something's clearly fucking wrong with
• 16:31
  me let's just assume adhd but maybe something else too i look around at my family
• 16:37
  i'm like oh we're all fucking crazy right this tracks makes sense but i just
• 16:42
  yeah everything's gonna be fine right guys i mean like you know people have real problems.
• 16:49
  Like, Americans. I, Jimmy Kimmel got fucking fired because he, he said something.
• 16:55
  Like, is nobody paying any attention?
• 16:58
  Is everyone just blissfully unaware? Like, I see all these people and they're
• 17:02
  just like kind of shell-shocked on TikTok talking about all of this crazy shit that's happening.
• 17:08
  And I saw Kash Patel just not answering questions when he was being interrogated.
• 17:14
  And like, what do you mean?
• 17:16
  How is this happening? This is like, to quote TikTok, the worst timeline.
• 17:22
  That's what this is. And I just feel like, you know, they could remake Cabaret,
• 17:27
  since I'm now a Cabaret expert, in today's times.
• 17:30
  And just switch all the Nazi shit with MAGA shit, and there you go.
• 17:35
  Am I right? Like, what the fuck is happening, man? I don't know.
• 17:39
  Okay, well, this was neither funny nor interesting, and I'm terribly sorry.
• 17:44
  And yeah I need a
• 17:47
  coffee because I didn't sleep last night and I
• 17:50
  don't know how I'm gonna do this you know and if
• 17:53
  you're on TikTok there's this really awesome lady who runs
• 17:56
  the we do not care club and she just lists things that perimenopausal menopausal
• 18:03
  and postmenopausal women do not care about anymore and one of the things she
• 18:08
  said was we do not care that our hair is thinning on top and growing out of
• 18:13
  our chins. And I thought, you know what?
• 18:17
  Yeah, you know, yeah. We don't care about that.
• 18:23
  Yeah, there's so many things I just don't care about.
• 18:26
  And then yesterday at work, we were talking about kids, and that inevitably,
• 18:30
  you know, September rolls around, and they're all going to get fucking sick.
• 18:33
  And one of the guys who didn't have kids says, oh, you're going to get me sick.
• 18:36
  And I'm like, no, I'm not, because I'll wear a mask. And then you know what
• 18:39
  he said? He said, masks don't work.
• 18:42
  And I just, I was like, okay.
• 18:47
  All right. You know, like that just, that absolute feeling of exhaustion from
• 18:53
  your brain right down to the tips of your toes.
• 18:56
  Do you know what I mean? Like, is everyone feeling that way right now?
• 18:59
  Just, like, I just do not have an ounce of energy to spare.
• 19:05
  And I think this is the closest I've been to tears in a long time.
• 19:08
  I am just worn out. is it the tomatoes
• 19:11
  maybe is it the back to school probably is
• 19:14
  it the lack of sleep yeah most definitely most definitely and i
• 19:17
  just fuck man i just oh evil
• 19:20
  eyes somebody fucking do something guys i just god okay anyway look if you need
• 19:26
  anything change of address pod at gmail.com you can leave a podcast review it
• 19:31
  it may save a life really though it just might but like five stars okay even
• 19:35
  if you don't like the show and you're like oh who let this fucking dumb bitch
• 19:39
  say anything for any length of time.
• 19:41
  Just five stars, okay? Like, I'm gonna go treat myself to a Tim Hortons coffee
• 19:45
  that really, if you like coffee, isn't very good, but I like it because it's sweet and creamy.
• 19:52
  Why I said that. I'm so sorry, you guys. Okay, look, have a good day.
• 19:56
  I'm sorry. You deserve better.
• 19:59
  And also nobody cares. And my mom's going to be really mad that I didn't go
• 20:02
  to her house today, but I'm just
• 20:04
  now getting close to her house and I have to go to work in 10 minutes.
• 20:07
  And I really, really just need this coffee. And I really, really do not want to clean her house.
• 20:12
  I just don't. So I'm not going to. And yeah, you know, okay.
• 20:17
  All right. Well, look, guys, I just, I want you to know that I really care and
• 20:21
  you're good people and you can do good things.
• 20:23
  And it doesn't, does it cost any more to be a little bit nice to somebody?
• 20:29
  Like, for example, I deliver to a nice man who's kind of like,
• 20:33
  you know, he's in an electric wheelchair and he's nice and he lives in the middle of fucking nowhere.
• 20:39
  And I go to his house on garbage day and I bring his garbage cans up to the
• 20:44
  house room because it's like a tiny little thing that makes his life easier.
• 20:48
  And then the other day I saw him and he was trying to take a picture of his
• 20:53
  hydrometer, which for some reason is five and a half feet in the air and he's
• 20:57
  in a electric wheelchair and he was struggling with it. And I said, can I help you with that?
• 21:01
  And he said, sure, thank you so much. And I took a picture of it for him. And what did it cost me?
• 21:07
  Nothing. and it made us both feel like we aren't alone in the world like little
• 21:12
  things like that doesn't cost any money it makes you feel good it makes the
• 21:15
  other person feel good and then someday,
• 21:18
  it'll come back i'm just it's taken a long time just i just want this fucking
• 21:25
  string of bad luck just to go away all right look sorry you deserve better okay
• 21:30
  listen yeah you can find me on Facebook,
• 21:33
  sure, if you want to. I don't do much on there, but go ahead.
• 21:36
  It's a lot of me making one initial
• 21:38
  joke and then a bunch of other people making their joke upon my joke.
• 21:41
  And you know what? Sometimes their joke is better than mine.
• 21:46
  It is. Sometimes they're better than mine. It's hard to admit.
• 21:51
  Okay, I'm not even the funniest person in this car. Okay?
• 21:55
  Okay, I gotta go. I'll just keep, I'm sorry. I love you guys.
• 21:58
  Fucking feel better than me. Okay, go out there, do something nice for somebody today.
• 22:02
  Or be a cunt. See if I care. Okay? Love you anyway. Okay, bye. Bye, bye, bye.