Latest / Inspirations for Your Life / Are You Being MANIPULATED? (S5) S43:E3 Monday

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Are You Being MANIPULATED? (S5) S43:E3 Monday · Inspirations for Your Life

0:24
Well, hello there, everyone, and welcome once again
0:27
to the ever-popular Inspirations for Your Life
0:29
show.
0:30
I'm so glad you decided to join me
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here today.
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It's another great show.
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If this is the very first time you're
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joining me, I'd like to take the opportunity
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10, 100, or maybe more, I'd like to
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take this opportunity to say not only thank
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you, but I'd also like to say welcome
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back, because there's so much that I want
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to share with you guys here today.
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or maybe you want to get some candy.
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That's totally up to you guys, so without
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further ado, let's go ahead and kick this
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show off.
1:28
All right, ladies and gentlemen, are you being
1:29
manipulated?
1:31
Series 5, show 43, episode 3, Monday.
1:36
Welcome, everyone, to the ever-popular Inspirations for
1:39
Your Life show.
1:40
I'm John C.
1:41
Morley.
1:42
I'm a serial entrepreneur.
1:43
I'm an engineer and marketing specialist, video producer,
1:45
podcast host, coach, professional keynote speaker, graduate student
1:50
at Montclair State University, passionate lifelong learner, and
1:53
now so grateful to be a published author.
1:56
Have you ever walked away from a conversation
1:59
wondering how you ended up agreeing to something
2:03
you never really even wanted?
2:06
Maybe someone made you feel guilty.
2:10
Maybe they pressured you to decide immediately.
2:13
Or maybe they sounded so confident that you
2:17
stopped questioning what they were actually saying.
2:22
Here's the question, guys.
2:24
Are you making your decisions, or is someone
2:30
quietly influencing how you think?
2:33
Our weekly series is Stop Giving Your Power
2:37
Away, Take Back Control.
2:40
That's the key.
2:42
Saturday we learned to own it by reclaiming
2:46
authority over our choices.
2:49
Sunday we explored know your worth and why
2:53
other people's opinions don't determine our value.
3:00
Today is Monday, and it's October 19, 2026.
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And our theme is Think Clearly.
3:13
Let's explore together 30 ways to recognize pressure,
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examine information, and protect your judgment.
3:21
Number one, recognize when someone is trying to
3:25
influence your emotions instead of your reasoning.
3:29
Strong emotions can distract you from important facts.
3:34
Ask what evidence actually supports the request.
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Number two, stop responding immediately to every provocative
3:45
statement you get.
3:47
A pause gives you time to consider what
3:50
was said.
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You don't owe every comment an instant reaction.
3:56
Persuasion, no need for that.
3:58
Number three, understand the difference between persuasion and
4:04
manipulation.
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There's a difference.
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Persuasion presents reasons and respects your choice.
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Manipulation may use deception or pressure to undermine
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the very choices you want to make even
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if they're not in alignment with your core
4:22
values.
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Number four, recognize when flattery is being used
4:27
to lower your defenses.
4:30
Compliments can be sincere, but praise followed by
4:35
an unreasonable demand deserves closer examination.
4:42
Number five, guys, please stop confusing confidence with
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credibility.
4:47
So many people do it.
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Someone can sound absolutely certain and still be
4:51
mistaken.
4:53
Evaluate the evidence, not merely the delivery.
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And I think that's a problem for a
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lot of people.
5:00
They just evaluate the delivery.
5:02
It sounds good, but really it may not
5:05
be good.
5:06
Number six, learn to question claims that create
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unnecessary urgency.
5:12
If someone insists you must decide immediately, ask
5:17
why.
5:20
Artificial deadlines can prevent thoughtful evaluation.
5:25
Number seven, recognize when important information is being
5:30
withheld.
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Before committing, consider what details are missing.
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A reasonable decision requires an adequate understanding of
5:41
the actual situation.
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Number eight, stop allowing fear to replace careful
5:48
evaluation.
5:50
Fear may signal genuine danger, but it can
5:55
also magnify imagined consequences, separate realistic risks for
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speculation.
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That's the real key, guys.
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Number nine, understand why emotionally charged language can
6:12
distort judgment.
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Dramatic words can make ordinary situations feel catastrophic.
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Look beyond the language to the actual circumstances.
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And I think sometimes that gets confusing because
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we don't always want to look at the
6:30
circumstances.
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We want to hide the circumstances.
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But that's only going to hurt us and
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the people around us.
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Number 10, recognize when someone is presenting a
6:41
false choice.
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You may hear that only two options exist.
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Ask whether there are alternatives, compromises, or opportunities
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to wait on.
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Number 11, stop assuming that repeated statements must
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be true.
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Hearing something constantly can make it feel familiar.
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Familiarity isn't proof, though, so check the underlying
7:10
facts.
7:11
That's key.
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Number 12, learn to separate observable facts from
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personal interpretations.
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What happened and what do you believe it
7:24
means?
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Those are different questions and both deserve attention.
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Number 13, guys, recognize when guilt is being
7:35
used to influence your decision.
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We talked about this with the father, right?
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Consider whether you're genuinely being someone that's getting
7:45
neglected on a responsibility or whether someone simply
7:50
dislikes your answer.
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Those are key, guys.
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Number 14, stop engaging in arguments designed only
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to revoke reactions.
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Some conversations become contests for emotional control.
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You can respectfully disengage when discussion stops being
8:10
constructive.
8:13
No need to feel guilty about disengaging on
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that.
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Number 15, guys, understand the importance of asking
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clear follow-up questions.
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What exactly are you requesting?
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What evidence supports that?
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What happens if I decline?
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Clarity protects judgment, okay?
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I think that's something that a lot of
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people forget is that when we're clear, we
8:42
know what's going on, but also we protect
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that judgment.
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Number 16, guys, please recognize when someone's behavior
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contradicts their promises.
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Words, they matter.
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Repeated actions reveal patterns.
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Evaluate consistency before extending trust.
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Sometimes, you know, we just do something because
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we say, well, gee, it just keeps happening
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that way.
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But it might not be the best thing
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for you and those around you.
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So I think that's an important thing for
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us to realize.
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And if we don't, we might be very
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disappointed, all right?
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Very, very disappointed.
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Number 17, stop treating disagreements as automatic disrespect.
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Someone can challenge your idea while still respecting
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you.
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Focus on how they communicate, not merely whether
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they agree or disagree.
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I always like to say I like to
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agree to disagree, and it's a little bit
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easier, but I get sometimes that people are
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afraid of saying they're disagreeing.
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Number 18, learn to evaluate information before sharing
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it with others.
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An alarming claim may travel quickly.
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Verify its source and context before helping it
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spread.
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And I think if you do that, I
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think if you become cognizant of the things
10:17
in your life, you're going to realize that
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you have more power than you ever knew
10:24
was possible.
10:25
We need to be calm in the moment.
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We need to understand what's going on in
10:30
life.
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And only if we do that can we
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make really, really, really big changes.
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That's key, guys.
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It's not a secret, but it's a big
10:41
key.
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Number 19, please recognize how your own assumptions
10:47
can influence perceptions.
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Critical thinking isn't only about questioning others.
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It also means examining the stories you tell
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yourself.
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Because we tell ourselves a lot of stories.
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A lot of times those stories aren't right,
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but we keep believing those stories.
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Number 20, stop allowing social pressure to replace
11:17
independent thought.
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Popularity doesn't establish accuracy.
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Give yourself permission to reach a different conclusion
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when evidence supports it.
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It doesn't have to be now.
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It can be later.
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It might be something you get as an
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epiphany later.
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It might be a side thought.
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Like, wait a minute, this makes sense now.
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I get it.
11:46
I get it.
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Number 21, please understand that changing your mind
11:54
can demonstrate intellectual honesty.
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New facts may justify a new position.
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Learning isn't weakness, guys.
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It's responsible thinking.
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And when we know how to learn, we
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change.
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We grow.
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We support others.
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And I know a lot of people say,
12:25
well, you know, this is the way it
12:26
has to be done.
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But people that say it has to be
12:28
done this way aren't open to change.
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Number 22, please recognize when a conversation is
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becoming unproductive.
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Repetitions, insults, or constant interruptions may signal that
12:53
discussion needs a pause.
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Or perhaps a more direct approach.
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Sometimes people get heated.
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And when it happens, it can be a
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big problem.
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Because they don't necessarily understand why things are
13:10
going on.
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They don't understand that.
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And because they don't understand it, it makes
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them feel that they are inadequate.
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Makes them feel that they're inadequate.
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That's important, guys.
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But you may not get that all overnight.
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Number 23, guys, stop trying to win every
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disagreement.
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The goal should be understanding and better decisions.
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Not defeating someone.
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Sometimes listening reveals more than, well, just arguing.
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When we listen, we hear what they're saying.
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And we're not looking to rebuttal what they're
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saying.
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We're just listening.
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Too many people are ready to fire back
14:12
with an answer before the person's even finished
14:15
their thought.
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Talk about rude.
14:20
Number 24, please learn to communicate uncertainty without
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losing confidence.
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See, saying you need more information is responsible,
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right?
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You don't have to pretend certainty to demonstrate
14:39
competence.
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And a lot of people miss that.
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And they act from the ego.
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And that ego becomes the thing that becomes
14:50
their downfall.
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So how do you communicate uncertainty without losing
14:57
confidence?
14:58
You can say to someone, you know, I
15:00
agree that we need to move forward with
15:05
this.
15:06
Or you can say something like, you know,
15:07
I'm going to agree to disagree.
15:09
I think you've got a great idea that
15:11
we need to make a change.
15:12
And I also believe that this is not
15:14
the right one.
15:16
People will get so heated.
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But if you do it respectfully, hopefully they'll
15:23
understand it's not attack against them.
15:26
It's about the idea.
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It's never about the person.
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It's about the idea.
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And ideas, oh, there's so many of them
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every day.
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We need to embrace those ideas.
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Right?
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Nurture them.
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And allow them to grow in our space.
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Which will help us and also help others.
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Number 25, guys.
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Recognize the value of pausing before making important
15:59
commitments.
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Review the consequences.
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Yes.
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The alternatives.
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And resources involved.
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A thoughtful delay can prevent unnecessary regret.
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A lot of people sometimes that I know,
16:17
they might be hot-headed.
16:20
If you tell these people to take a
16:21
breath, life changes.
16:26
Life changes.
16:28
Number 26 is stop giving unsupported accusations more
16:32
weight than evidence.
16:35
I think people just do this like second
16:37
nature.
16:38
Serious claims deserve examination.
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Yes.
16:42
Ask for specifics rather than treating suspicion as
16:46
established truth.
16:49
You have a right to ask.
16:51
That's an interesting concept.
16:54
What drew you to that conclusion?
16:55
Or that was an interesting statement you made.
16:58
I was wondering if you could share with
17:00
me what brought you to that statement.
17:03
What made you say that?
17:08
And when you do that, people are going
17:09
to be like, well, I was thinking about
17:13
this, and I think this is probably a
17:15
good idea.
17:16
You're thinking about it.
17:17
It doesn't mean it has to be a
17:18
good idea, right?
17:19
It doesn't have to be a good idea,
17:20
but it can be.
17:23
It can be a great idea.
17:25
We have to embrace it.
17:28
Number 27, guys, I'm going to ask you
17:31
to build the habit of checking information through
17:36
reliable sources.
17:37
That means don't use ChatGPT or Claude or
17:41
any other AI system.
17:42
Compare credible evidence, examine the context, and recognize
17:49
when information may be incomplete or actually outdated.
17:58
People want proof.
18:00
The proof doesn't necessarily have to come from
18:02
a source.
18:03
If it comes from you and you can
18:06
explain how you got to that thought, that's
18:10
fine.
18:11
It doesn't have to come from another scholarly
18:13
journal.
18:15
Number 28, guys, identify one situation where emotion
18:21
may be clouding your judgment.
18:24
Perhaps you're angry, you're excited, embarrassed, or maybe
18:28
you're even afraid.
18:30
Acknowledge the feeling without automatically obeying.
18:39
And when we think about that, I want
18:42
to ask you guys something.
18:43
Do you identify things, or do you say,
18:46
well, you know what, I don't agree with
18:47
that, or I agree with that, so we're
18:48
just going to do it anyway, or I
18:49
don't agree with that, this is how we're
18:50
going to do it?
18:53
That's an important piece, guys.
18:56
Do you just do things because they're convenient
18:59
for you?
18:59
I hope you don't.
19:05
I hope you don't.
19:11
I really hope you don't, because that's going
19:13
to change different things in our world.
19:18
It's going to change your potential, right?
19:22
It'll change your potential.
19:24
But just because, you know, you're angry, you're
19:28
excited, embarrassed, or afraid, doesn't mean you should
19:33
discount something, or you should just blow it
19:36
away.
19:39
Number 29, choose one thoughtful question before making
19:47
your next major decision.
19:50
A thoughtful question before making your decision.
19:54
Ask what you know, what remains uncertain, and
19:59
which option best supports your values and your
20:04
responsibilities.
20:07
Don't just rush to the answer.
20:10
Think about what got you to that answer,
20:13
or where you are, or what drew you
20:17
to that conclusion.
20:18
I think that's probably one of the most
20:20
important things that I can tell you.
20:23
Okay?
20:24
If you do that, you'll be like, oh,
20:27
this actually makes sense.
20:29
And more things will make sense if you
20:32
just allow things to come to you.
20:38
Number 30, think clearly, because your decisions deserve
20:46
more than emotional pressure.
20:48
But sometimes that's all we get, is a
20:52
coaxed pressure.
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That's a problem.
20:59
It's a big problem.
21:01
You cannot control every influence around you, but
21:05
you can practice responding with awareness, something I
21:09
talk a lot about.
21:11
Evidence and intention.
21:14
If somebody's not being aware, there's a good
21:17
chance that they're probably going to make the
21:18
wrong decision.
21:24
Probably going to make the wrong decision.
21:32
Now, you know I've got a Monday challenge
21:33
for you, don't you?
21:36
Before responding to one emotionally charged situation, today
21:40
or tomorrow, and we know there's going to
21:42
be some, right?
21:44
Pause for a moment, or two, and ask
21:48
yourself three questions.
21:51
What are those three questions?
21:53
I'm going to share them with you.
21:54
The first one is, what do I actually
21:57
know right now in the present moment?
22:01
Pretty easy, right?
22:03
Number two, what am I assuming right now?
22:07
We've always said you never should assume anything.
22:09
So what am I assuming or what am
22:13
I suspecting is?
22:21
Write all these down, by the way.
22:24
And what information would help me make a
22:29
better decision?
22:30
Let me repeat these again, and write all
22:32
these down.
22:33
What do I actually know?
22:35
What am I assuming or what do I
22:38
appear to know?
22:42
It's a difference.
22:42
So what do I actually know and what
22:44
am I knowing or assuming based on no
22:48
facts?
22:51
And what information would help me make a
22:55
better decision right now, in this very moment?
22:59
Then, ladies and gentlemen, what I want you
23:00
to do is I want you to respond
23:02
thoughtfully instead of reacting emotionally and automatically.
23:09
We've said that when we do things reactively,
23:15
we can be a little more of a
23:17
hothead, right?
23:20
If we're doing it in the sense of
23:22
being reactive.
23:24
If we're proactive, we're going to be a
23:26
lot calmer.
23:28
There's not going to be a fire drill.
23:31
That's the real truth.
23:33
Like I said, then you respond instead of
23:36
reacting automatically, just emotions.
23:39
So you want to be proactive.
23:42
I used the example several months ago about
23:45
preparing emergencies, fire, et cetera.
23:48
Make sure you have the things you need.
23:51
Do you have at least two ways out
23:53
of your home?
23:54
Do you have an emergency supply kit?
23:57
Maybe that includes water, et cetera, right?
24:01
Do you have a place where everybody is
24:03
going to meet?
24:04
Yes?
24:05
Great.
24:06
Make sure you practice this drill at least
24:09
twice a year.
24:11
And then go over the basic things like
24:13
stop, drop, and roll.
24:14
And if you practice this and you go
24:16
over them, it's going to be proactive and
24:20
not reactive.
24:23
Reactive is what we have to do in
24:25
an emergency.
24:26
Proactive is like, okay, the copier is probably
24:30
going to run out of paper, so I
24:31
probably should order a case of paper.
24:34
That's being proactive.
24:38
And when it runs out, you've got it.
24:41
Or same thing with ink and toner, right?
24:43
I always order extra so I can go
24:46
right in and be ready when that cartridge
24:49
finishes.
24:50
Not have to say, oh, wow, what am
24:51
I going to do?
24:52
I don't have a cartridge.
24:53
You don't want to do that.
24:55
So it's always better to be proactive than
24:58
reactive.
24:59
Proactive takes more work, right?
25:02
Because you've got to do the work up
25:03
front.
25:04
And I think that's probably one of the
25:06
biggest things that I can tell you.
25:08
And then I said, ladies and gentlemen, you
25:10
need to respond thoughtfully instead of reacting automatically.
25:15
And you'll be responding proactively.
25:20
Remember, ladies and gentlemen, not every disagreement is
25:24
manipulation.
25:26
Not every emotional conversation is dishonest.
25:31
The goal isn't to distrust everybody.
25:34
It's to develop the confidence to think independently
25:39
while treating others fairly.
25:42
Our journey does continue.
25:45
Saturday, we learned to own it.
25:48
Sunday, we learned to know your worth.
25:50
Today, Monday, we're learning to think clearly.
25:56
Tomorrow, Tuesday, we're going to set priorities and
25:58
stop giving everything our energy.
26:01
Wednesday, we'll take responsibility for our actions and
26:04
turn intentions into meaningful steps.
26:08
Thursday, we're going to protect our power through
26:13
healthy boundaries.
26:14
And Friday, guys, we wrap up the week,
26:17
we'll live with integrity, bringing the entire week
26:21
together full circle.
26:24
And I know when you think about this,
26:26
you're like, oh my gosh, I never put
26:28
all this time into it.
26:29
But if you're not happy with your outcome,
26:31
the reason is is because you're getting manipulated
26:34
and you don't even know it.
26:36
A lot of times you're getting manipulated, I'll
26:37
tell you why.
26:39
Because you're in panic mode.
26:42
And suddenly you've got to decide because, oh,
26:44
you have no decision.
26:47
That's a big problem, I'm sure.
26:50
So be a little bit proactive.
26:54
Ask yourself questions.
26:57
Right?
26:59
That's the key.
27:01
Ladies and gentlemen, I'm John C.
27:03
Morley.
27:03
I'm a serial entrepreneur, engineer, marketing specialist, video
27:05
producer, podcast host, coach, keynote speaker, a graduate
27:09
student at Montclair State University, a passionate lifelong
27:12
learner, and so grateful now to be a
27:14
published author.
27:16
Yes.
27:16
And I thank you so much for choosing
27:18
to join me for another amazing motivational episode
27:22
of the ever-popular Inspirations for Your Life
27:24
show.
27:25
Remember, ladies and gentlemen, someone else's confidence doesn't
27:30
have to become your certainty.
27:33
Someone else's urgency doesn't have to become your
27:38
emergency.
27:40
We need to ask questions, examine the facts,
27:44
and think for ourselves.
27:46
Stay driven, ladies and gentlemen.
27:49
Keep growing.
27:51
Life is an amazing journey.
27:53
And guess what, ladies and gentlemen?
27:55
I'm going to see you on another show
27:56
real soon.
27:58
And don't forget to check out BelieveMeAchieved.com
28:01
to check out all that great inspiring content
28:03
right now.