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Aromantic Love - Chloe Montemayor · The Steve & Jeff Show

• 0:04
  SPEAKER_02: My funny valentine.
• 0:09
  SPEAKER_02: Sweet comic valentine.
• 0:15
  SPEAKER_02: You make me smile.
• 0:18
  SPEAKER_02: Well, hey, everybody.
• 0:19
  SPEAKER_02: Welcome back to yet another exciting episode of the Steve and Jeff Show.
• 0:24
  SPEAKER_02: I'm Steve.
• 0:24
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm Jeff.
• 0:25
  SPEAKER_01: How's it going, Steve?
• 0:26
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, Jeff, Jeff, it is.
• 0:28
  SPEAKER_02: It's so exciting.
• 0:29
  SPEAKER_02: The show is growing.
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_02: The show is expanding.
• 0:31
  SPEAKER_02: The show is inflating.
• 0:33
  SPEAKER_02: The show is getting bigger.
• 0:34
  SPEAKER_02: The show is getting rounder.
• 0:36
  SPEAKER_02: The show is getting fatter.
• 0:37
  SPEAKER_02: Jeff, it is, it's just, it's unbelievable how good it is.
• 0:41
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, well, I, you know, I I do it, I do the show in front of a mirror.
• 0:44
  SPEAKER_02: So maybe, you know, maybe that's what I'm looking at.
• 0:46
  SPEAKER_02: But but Jeff, it is so exciting.
• 0:48
  SPEAKER_02: We are getting so many new listeners and new fans worldwide.
• 0:53
  SPEAKER_02: The worldwide scope of the Steve and Jeff show is more than I really would have expected.
• 0:58
  SPEAKER_02: And I expected a lot.
• 0:59
  SPEAKER_01: I know that we're entering a new phase where we're actually recruiting all over the world and uh to find those everyday people, you know, who want to be on the show and that we can point a spotlight at.
• 1:12
  SPEAKER_01: But yeah, occasionally it's good to go back to your core people, the people who you started with, the people that made us famous.
• 1:20
  unknown: Right.
• 1:20
  SPEAKER_01: Exactly.
• 1:22
  SPEAKER_01: I think we're doing that tonight.
• 1:23
  SPEAKER_02: The people that were doing the show before it was cool, and it is cool.
• 1:26
  SPEAKER_02: Yes.
• 1:27
  SPEAKER_02: But some of these people were here before it was cool.
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_02: And we've got one of those people in our studio tonight.
• 1:33
  SPEAKER_02: There's just to look right to the other side of the glass here.
• 1:35
  SPEAKER_02: Let me tap is my dad here.
• 1:37
  SPEAKER_02: No, no, not that one.
• 1:38
  SPEAKER_02: Not that one.
• 1:39
  SPEAKER_02: But but here, look, let me let me tap here.
• 1:41
  SPEAKER_02: See, you probably recognize her.
• 1:43
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, oh.
• 1:44
  SPEAKER_02: Is Chloe Montamayor, the author?
• 1:48
  SPEAKER_02: Yes, I do.
• 1:49
  SPEAKER_02: Hey Chloe, how are you?
• 1:50
  SPEAKER_00: I'm good.
• 1:51
  SPEAKER_00: Thanks for having me back.
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_02: You know, the last time you were here, Chloe, it was just it was great because we talked about the book and the the man child and everything.
• 1:58
  SPEAKER_02: But now I now I understand you've actually uh you're on to a different project.
• 2:03
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I don't it's the it's a kernel of what could be a project.
• 2:07
  SPEAKER_02: So it's like a military thing or okay.
• 2:10
  SPEAKER_01: Or corn, maybe maybe related to corn.
• 2:12
  SPEAKER_00: Well, it could be more like a kernel of corn, you know, that kind of thing.
• 2:16
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 2:16
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, it's not like corn.
• 2:17
  SPEAKER_02: That's a little lower than like general corn, right?
• 2:20
  SPEAKER_02: Sure.
• 2:20
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, okay.
• 2:21
  SPEAKER_02: But but I digress.
• 2:22
  SPEAKER_02: But no, but anyway, Chloe, go ahead.
• 2:24
  SPEAKER_00: I'm here today.
• 2:25
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, I told your producers that I'm here today to help increase awareness, raise consciousness, if you will.
• 2:33
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, yeah.
• 2:34
  SPEAKER_00: About aromanticism, the aromantics.
• 2:38
  SPEAKER_02: Aromanticism.
• 2:39
  SPEAKER_02: You know, I you know, when when I knew you were coming on the show, I did a little reading on that.
• 2:43
  SPEAKER_02: And a lot of people think aromanticism doesn't pass the smell test, but we're really gonna sniff that out tonight, aren't we?
• 2:49
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 2:50
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, it's a real thing.
• 2:52
  SPEAKER_00: And I am discovering that I may be aromantic, and I'm here and I'm legitimate, and you know, this isn't a phase.
• 3:03
  SPEAKER_02: You are yourself aromantic.
• 3:04
  SPEAKER_02: Maybe we, Jeff, maybe we should do like a telethon for the aromantics.
• 3:08
  SPEAKER_02: I I don't know.
• 3:09
  SPEAKER_02: I don't know.
• 3:09
  SPEAKER_01: Well, and I thought uh initially when I heard that this could be a topic, I thought you meant that you were like one romantic, you know, like a romantic, like a plumber or a zombie, or like the romantics from like the 80s, Thompson twins, or Kestral Minute in the Dark.
• 3:27
  SPEAKER_02: That could be like Ruby and the Romantics, yeah.
• 3:29
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_01: So I guess for me, I have two questions right off the bat.
• 3:34
  SPEAKER_01: One is what does a romantic really mean?
• 3:36
  SPEAKER_01: Because I don't think I quite understand that.
• 3:38
  SPEAKER_01: And secondly, you talk to our producers.
• 3:41
  SPEAKER_01: I haven't talked to our producers before.
• 3:44
  SPEAKER_01: It's been a while.
• 3:44
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, no, you don't waste your time.
• 3:46
  SPEAKER_02: It's a yeah, you know, they're just gonna give you bad news, Jeff.
• 3:50
  SPEAKER_01: Don't don't talk to them.
• 3:52
  SPEAKER_01: No, no.
• 3:52
  SPEAKER_01: Well, and you know, all the the drugs and women and alcohol and everything.
• 3:56
  SPEAKER_01: They've got they got their plate is full, yeah.
• 3:58
  SPEAKER_01: With uh whatever they're putting on.
• 4:00
  SPEAKER_00: No, they don't give you any advance, they just tell you, you know, who's doing it who I spoke to, like somebody named Tippi, I don't know.
• 4:07
  SPEAKER_02: And oh Tippy, yeah.
• 4:09
  SPEAKER_02: What yeah, well, did you get her before the Smirnoff or after?
• 4:14
  SPEAKER_02: Yes, you know, big difference in what what you might hear, yeah.
• 4:27
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, yes, yes.
• 4:28
  SPEAKER_02: In fact, we had we were sponsored by a product called Perma Ace that creates that asexuality so that you can focus on other things.
• 4:35
  SPEAKER_02: It's just yeah, really, it's a great item.
• 4:37
  SPEAKER_02: But yes, we've heard of that.
• 4:38
  SPEAKER_02: So, but aromantic was a little bit.
• 4:41
  SPEAKER_02: I had to do some reading.
• 4:42
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, so just as an asexual doesn't necessarily seek out sexual intercourse and sexuality to feel like a complete person or to connect with others, an aromantic doesn't need romance to be fulfilled and as a person.
• 5:04
  SPEAKER_01: I I wish I knew about that before I got married because you know I would have saved a whole lot of time.
• 5:09
  SPEAKER_02: I was just thinking, Jeff, Jeff, haven't we looked like for aromantics our entire life?
• 5:13
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, really?
• 5:14
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, come on.
• 5:15
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, really it is a dream come true.
• 5:20
  SPEAKER_00: I by helping, you know, raise awareness and increase the consciousness about us aromantics hidden in our current society, I hope to dismantle the romantic marriage complex.
• 5:36
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, wow, and it is very complex, I'll tell you.
• 5:40
  SPEAKER_00: And it's you know, Chloe doesn't really start with kind of outside expectations that are foisted upon us that we have so many expectations, and it all started in 1750-ish, with a bunch of white, male, European, male philosophers, poets, probably Isaac Newton somewhere in there.
• 6:01
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, yeah.
• 6:02
  SPEAKER_01: So you mean like every man, like a typical man?
• 6:05
  SPEAKER_00: I think these were like more privileged men, probably.
• 6:08
  SPEAKER_02: So these these wouldn't be probably your men children, these would be more your, dare I say, your men daddies.
• 6:16
  SPEAKER_00: That's a thinker.
• 6:18
  SPEAKER_00: All I know is they took marriage, which was previously, you know, like a whole merger and acquisition thing, which don't even get me started, you know, on you know, it was a business transaction.
• 6:31
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, it was or political transaction.
• 6:34
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, they foisted a bunch of extras onto it.
• 6:37
  SPEAKER_02: That's the whole thing.
• 6:38
  SPEAKER_02: I remember the brief time that I spent in school.
• 6:40
  SPEAKER_02: I remember reading about uh something they called courtly love.
• 6:43
  SPEAKER_02: And I guess that's where that came from, right?
• 6:45
  SPEAKER_02: That whole romantic courtly love, the stories about knights and fair maidens and all that, all that stuff.
• 6:50
  SPEAKER_02: And you know, it it it's too bad because I really I really liked that courtly love when she was in that rock group.
• 6:55
  SPEAKER_02: What was that?
• 6:56
  SPEAKER_02: Uh yeah, I was gonna say the same thing.
• 6:58
  SPEAKER_02: Crevice or crevass, maybe it was.
• 7:00
  SPEAKER_02: She was married to that uh Kirk Cocaine guy, wasn't she?
• 7:03
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, but anyway.
• 7:06
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, that was it.
• 7:07
  SPEAKER_02: Yes, she had nothing to do with well.
• 7:09
  SPEAKER_01: That's another term, right?
• 7:10
  SPEAKER_01: Is that uh another term for no, she's a romantic.
• 7:14
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, oh, okay.
• 7:17
  SPEAKER_01: Sorry, you know, you know what's just that related then?
• 7:21
  SPEAKER_01: No, okay, but it's funny you bring this up because I was just talking to my dad, who's my real dad, who's still in prison, yeah, and he was talking about being not realizing that he was a romantic until he got in prison.
• 7:34
  SPEAKER_02: And now that'll bring out the romantic in you, let me tell you.
• 7:37
  SPEAKER_01: It certainly does, and maybe he were wishes he was a romantic because you know, sometimes being emotional and romantic and sentimental probably doesn't work when you're serving five to ten for arm robbery.
• 7:51
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I mean, at the core of it sounds like your father is engaging in some situational homosexuality because he's lonely or needs to climb the ranks of the well.
• 8:05
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, come on, you know, really, Jeff, come on, you know, situational Steve.
• 8:09
  SPEAKER_01: And then it gets complicated because you know, your mom's pregnant with yeah, you know, my dad's baby, but that's not the real dad, though.
• 8:17
  SPEAKER_01: So that's not your real dad.
• 8:18
  SPEAKER_01: I think there may be something there.
• 8:19
  SPEAKER_01: You're really shedding a light on this.
• 8:22
  SPEAKER_02: No, she's pregnant by faux jerry, and she's she's doing fine, by the way.
• 8:25
  SPEAKER_02: She's you know, didn't think a nine-year-old lady could actually have a baby, but you know, there you go.
• 8:29
  SPEAKER_02: But that's faux jerry.
• 8:30
  SPEAKER_02: That's not your real Jerry.
• 8:32
  unknown: No, no.
• 8:32
  SPEAKER_01: This sounds like a lot of people.
• 8:33
  SPEAKER_01: No, but Chloe Chloe, you've really shed a light on this.
• 8:36
  SPEAKER_01: I have not looked at it this way before, and now uh yeah, I see things a lot differently.
• 8:40
  SPEAKER_01: I would say thank you, but I'm not sure I want to look at those things differently, but I do.
• 8:45
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, oh Jeff, you do listen, Chloe.
• 8:47
  SPEAKER_01: Do I okay?
• 8:47
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, don't want to be in denial.
• 8:49
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I think maybe again, this is just a kernel of maybe something bigger, but I just want to get on your show to help people know that it's okay to be sexual, but not desire brunch afterward.
• 9:08
  SPEAKER_01: Because brunch is so expensive.
• 9:09
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it is.
• 9:10
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, it's gotten crazy.
• 9:11
  SPEAKER_01: And you never know what to order when you're at brunch.
• 9:13
  SPEAKER_01: You know, like you like when you do brunch, Steve and Chloe, do you go for the lunch stuff or do you start with the omelets and then kind of transition over time?
• 9:23
  SPEAKER_02: I'm a lunch guy, I go right for the mac and cheese, man.
• 9:26
  SPEAKER_02: You know, you know that, right?
• 9:27
  SPEAKER_00: I figure if I'm doing brunch, I'm just going to waste my day.
• 9:32
  SPEAKER_00: So I just go straight for the mimosas or the bloody Marys.
• 9:36
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, good idea.
• 9:37
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 9:37
  SPEAKER_02: So I I guess would it be fair to say that this kernel of getting away from romanticism, this kernel still supports corporal love?
• 9:46
  SPEAKER_00: Sure.
• 9:46
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 9:47
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, people can be asexual romantics, you know, people who aren't interested in sex but do find romance fulfilling.
• 9:56
  SPEAKER_00: You can be asexual and aromantic, where neither sex or romance fulfills you, or you could be sexual and aromantic, and maybe along the way your friends accuse you of being the village bicycle when really you just I was more like the village unicycle, you know, really.
• 10:15
  SPEAKER_01: But and I was always considered soft spoken, I guess.
• 10:19
  SPEAKER_01: Would that be on a bike?
• 10:21
  SPEAKER_01: Spokes.
• 10:21
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know.
• 10:22
  SPEAKER_01: That's a really big menu, Chloe.
• 10:24
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, you're like bringing up like seven.
• 10:26
  SPEAKER_01: This is like a Chinese menu.
• 10:28
  SPEAKER_02: A lot of geometric possibilities there.
• 10:29
  SPEAKER_02: You I didn't realize I had those three, and you got yeah, you got six, and you then you got multiple.
• 10:35
  SPEAKER_00: It's like wow, yeah.
• 10:37
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, human sexuality is a wild spectrum that might be more than just on an XY axis.
• 10:45
  SPEAKER_02: It is a spectrum indeed, because there's red and there's blue, and then you see some yellow sometimes.
• 10:49
  SPEAKER_02: And I well, I just maybe I'm revealing a little too much about my private life here, but uh, but yeah, I see colors, I do all kinds of stuff.
• 10:57
  SPEAKER_02: And Chloe, we we have a whole lot more to talk about with this kernel, but uh, Jeff, we have got a repeat sponsor tonight.
• 11:05
  SPEAKER_02: Wonderful, what an appropriate sponsor that we have tonight.
• 11:09
  SPEAKER_02: What an appropriate sponsor.
• 11:10
  SPEAKER_02: We've got a sponsor that's going to talk about kind of romance and pairing up and coupling and and hooking up.
• 11:18
  SPEAKER_02: You you remember you remember OK Reaper?
• 11:20
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• 11:21
  SPEAKER_02: They're back, they just wanted to run another ad, so so I'd say let's uh let's go to commercial.
• 11:29
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• 11:46
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• 11:55
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• 12:10
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• 12:18
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• 12:24
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• 12:27
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• 12:33
  SPEAKER_02: Well, Jeff, I'll tell you what an appropriate ad for a discussion that we're having.
• 12:38
  SPEAKER_02: I just I just gotta say, I went to a couple of those Aztec parties back in the 80s.
• 12:42
  SPEAKER_02: Oh my gosh, they are wild times.
• 12:44
  SPEAKER_02: They are they're serious.
• 12:46
  SPEAKER_02: Ooh, that's like major league stuff, but but but I digress.
• 12:49
  SPEAKER_02: But uh, but Chloe, you know, what do you think about uh, you know, like all the dating services out there, are they kind of promoting the thing that you're looking into saying, why do we do this?
• 13:00
  SPEAKER_02: They're kind of promoting the wrong the wrong way, do you think?
• 13:02
  SPEAKER_00: Those are just platforms, and they're just platforms for transactions and uh marketplaces, if you will.
• 13:11
  SPEAKER_00: And really, I I'm not maybe this is the uh Adam Smith in me, but I'm not really mad at the marketplace.
• 13:19
  SPEAKER_00: I'm more mad at the invisible hand of the expectations of the people entering the marketplace and what are their expectations, and what are their expectations vis-a-vis how they're representing themselves, and what are their expectations versus what they're tolerating.
• 13:40
  SPEAKER_02: And you are indeed Adam Smith, and I gotta tell you, that invisible hand picked my pocket one day, and I'm I'm I want it back.
• 13:47
  SPEAKER_02: They took my wallet, took my ID.
• 13:48
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, it's still but I digress.
• 13:50
  SPEAKER_02: But anyway, Jeff, Jeff, what are you saying?
• 13:51
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, well, I always thought that the invisible hand, just that term itself, was highly romantic.
• 13:57
  SPEAKER_02: It kind of gets me going a little bit.
• 13:59
  SPEAKER_02: I invisible the idea of an invisible hand.
• 14:01
  SPEAKER_01: I I you know I kind of like that.
• 14:03
  SPEAKER_01: I think so.
• 14:04
  SPEAKER_01: Chloe, there's so much to unpack here.
• 14:06
  SPEAKER_01: I'm amazed.
• 14:07
  SPEAKER_01: My question, though, really has to do, and we could all kind of share together here.
• 14:12
  SPEAKER_01: Do you consider yourself to be a romantic?
• 14:16
  SPEAKER_00: You know, my friends are really getting on me the older I get.
• 14:20
  SPEAKER_00: They're getting Chloe.
• 14:21
  SPEAKER_00: You can't be partying like you used to.
• 14:29
  SPEAKER_00: Then my sister, then another.
• 14:39
  SPEAKER_00: And I am made to feel like something's wrong with me.
• 14:44
  SPEAKER_00: Why am I not slowing down?
• 14:46
  SPEAKER_00: Why am I not working on finding the one?
• 14:50
  SPEAKER_01: And and why do they keep saying your name first every time they're getting ready to say something to you?
• 14:56
  SPEAKER_01: Like that just seems weird.
• 14:57
  SPEAKER_02: Like they're sitting looking at you, like they're talking to somebody else.
• 15:00
  SPEAKER_02: Like they say, I look at you, Chloe, and say, Jeff, you know, come on, come on, come on.
• 15:05
  SPEAKER_01: And and and you know what, Chloe?
• 15:07
  SPEAKER_01: It does seem to me that what is that saying?
• 15:10
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, one man's ceiling is another man's floor.
• 15:12
  SPEAKER_01: One person's romance is another person's a romance.
• 15:17
  SPEAKER_01: Would you not agree with that?
• 15:18
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I think where I am rubbing my friends the wrong way is that with that invisible hand.
• 15:26
  SPEAKER_02: That's what she's rubbing.
• 15:28
  SPEAKER_02: But I digress, but go ahead.
• 15:29
  unknown: Yeah.
• 15:29
  SPEAKER_01: Talk about romantic.
• 15:30
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I just tell you, I'm there.
• 15:33
  SPEAKER_02: I'm there.
• 15:33
  SPEAKER_01: I'm excited.
• 15:34
  SPEAKER_01: Go on.
• 15:35
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not on a search for some, I'm not expecting any of my partners to complete me, so to speak, to use a uh Jerry Muireism.
• 15:46
  SPEAKER_00: I don't need my sexual partner to also be on the same page as me financially or emotionally, although I do need them to wash their dubets and pick up their towels and stuff.
• 16:00
  SPEAKER_00: But I don't need them to also be perfectly compatible and agree with child rearing or tastes in podcasts.
• 16:09
  SPEAKER_00: You know, I'm not expecting them to read my mind.
• 16:13
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not expecting them to always find me attractive forever.
• 16:19
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not expecting them to be compatible with me sexually from now until we die.
• 16:26
  SPEAKER_00: You know, that's just I'm not putting those expectations on my partners, and I don't want people foisting that those expectations on me because a lot of that is wrapped up in the notion again of romantic love.
• 16:41
  SPEAKER_02: Of Courtney love.
• 16:42
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, that's exactly.
• 16:43
  SPEAKER_02: And you know, I I gotta tell you, Chloe, I after your last time you were on with the book that you wrote about the men children, if that's a proper plural, I got a duvet.
• 16:52
  SPEAKER_02: I bought a duvet, and and I'm gonna watch it.
• 16:55
  SPEAKER_02: I you know, I haven't yet, but I I'm I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna.
• 16:59
  SPEAKER_00: I was on the air several months ago.
• 17:02
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, well, you know.
• 17:04
  SPEAKER_02: I'm I'm I'm gonna do it.
• 17:05
  SPEAKER_02: It's soon, soon.
• 17:06
  SPEAKER_02: It's it's just it just brand new year, right?
• 17:08
  SPEAKER_02: So yeah, it'll happen, it'll happen soon.
• 17:11
  SPEAKER_01: Well, I'm not sure exactly.
• 17:12
  SPEAKER_01: I've always been told that I have a very clean duvet, and I know I wash mine all the time.
• 17:17
  SPEAKER_01: It's French, right?
• 17:18
  SPEAKER_01: Duvet is it's French for Duvet, yeah.
• 17:21
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah.
• 17:21
  SPEAKER_01: Duvet.
• 17:22
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, but I I watch it all the time.
• 17:24
  SPEAKER_01: You know, Chloe, one thing I'm thinking when you were describing about your low expectation is I wish I knew you when I was dating, because uh, you know, I would have I would have been a whole lot more popular and you know, felt pretty good.
• 17:37
  SPEAKER_02: We've wanted, you know, I knew if we got old enough, we'd finally see the world we wanted, and here it is.
• 17:43
  SPEAKER_02: This is it, this is what we're talking about.
• 17:45
  SPEAKER_01: Low expectations, and yeah, you know, just you know, all you had to say was, you know, you had me at I don't have to complete you.
• 17:53
  SPEAKER_01: To me, that was that's the whole story right there.
• 17:56
  SPEAKER_01: That's the whole ball of wax, or whatever that would be.
• 18:00
  SPEAKER_00: Think of how much divorce we could prevent, think of how much domestic violence we could prevent.
• 18:05
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, yeah.
• 18:06
  SPEAKER_00: Think of just how many wedding registries I wouldn't have to spend money on if people just didn't expect one person to be their teammate to the grave.
• 18:20
  SPEAKER_00: That's just not really that is a social construct coming from those dang philosophers from the 1750s.
• 18:30
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, oh yeah, all those all those men you were talking about, yeah.
• 18:34
  SPEAKER_00: Exactly.
• 18:34
  SPEAKER_00: Those white, privileged, white European everyday men.
• 18:39
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, right.
• 18:40
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, and and white, white everyday men.
• 18:42
  SPEAKER_02: Divorce would I mean think about it.
• 18:44
  SPEAKER_02: You know, if there if people didn't get married, divorce would go to zero, right?
• 18:48
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, you know, you who would need a divorce if you're not married, right?
• 18:51
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, that's right.
• 18:53
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 18:54
  SPEAKER_02: Wow.
• 18:54
  SPEAKER_01: You know, and I feel I feel like we've solved some of the biggest problems.
• 18:58
  SPEAKER_01: You know, the root of those problems lie in expectations.
• 19:02
  SPEAKER_01: You know, if you get rid of all the expectations, I think you're a lot better off.
• 19:06
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I don't think that there's no expectations.
• 19:09
  SPEAKER_00: I think there's always going to be expectations of consent, dignity, respect, right?
• 19:15
  SPEAKER_01: Oh podcast, podcast traffic.
• 19:18
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 19:18
  SPEAKER_01: That kind of stuff.
• 19:20
  SPEAKER_00: Those metrics, yes.
• 19:21
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, the metrics.
• 19:23
  SPEAKER_02: All that stuff on Google Epathetics, yeah.
• 19:25
  SPEAKER_02: But you know, who cares what they say, right?
• 19:27
  SPEAKER_02: But anyway, so so there would be standards and there'd still be expectations, but just maybe, maybe would it be fair to say, Chloe, would it be fair to say there'd be more self-designed expectations, more flexible expectations?
• 19:39
  SPEAKER_00: Perhaps.
• 19:40
  SPEAKER_00: I think there just would be fewer expectations of well, for instance, I think this is where I frustrate my friends who call me the village bicycle, is that I I enjoy meeting people and having sex with them.
• 19:57
  SPEAKER_00: And I also enjoy hanging out with the same people and having shared fields of experience.
• 20:04
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe I boink someone and then we go to the opera or we go to the zoo or we plan a Black History Month brunch together, you know, just normal, you know, well, and and and see and see that is such a nice development because gosh, Jeff, and most of our lives we had to do things like going to the opera or starting a Black History Month expectation before the boinking.
• 20:31
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, we did that as an excuse to get to the boinking.
• 20:34
  SPEAKER_02: Now you just boink and then you can then you do whatever you do it after.
• 20:38
  SPEAKER_02: It's so perfect.
• 20:39
  SPEAKER_00: And more importantly, there's no whining and dining.
• 20:42
  SPEAKER_00: Nowadays, the older I get and the more Kabbalah I study, every time I am dragged to La Bouvet to be wined and dined, I feel like more and more of a phony.
• 20:54
  SPEAKER_02: Well, they have good wine there though, though, don't they?
• 20:56
  SPEAKER_00: I mean they do, but I pay for my own wine because I don't want to get wined and dined anymore because I just feel like that's just not a necessary step for me, and it's not something I want to put somebody through.
• 21:11
  SPEAKER_01: Well, and and truth be told, if I didn't have that pressure on me, I can't imagine I don't know if I'd ever eat a Kentucky fried chicken.
• 21:19
  SPEAKER_01: You know, I mean if it wasn't for that, uh chicken's pretty greasy, and you know, I thought, hey, this is a way to get boinked.
• 21:28
  SPEAKER_02: And uh, you know, so you go there, especially when they have the buffet laid out, you know, um I'm I think I can I can explain a lot of your your life problems if you Kentucky fried chicken was a prelude to the boinking.
• 21:42
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, uh but it wasn't all you know there was there was Pizza Hut too.
• 21:48
  SPEAKER_01: So you know, in fairness.
• 21:49
  SPEAKER_01: That's a little better.
• 21:50
  SPEAKER_00: But do they even have a lunch buffet anymore?
• 21:54
  SPEAKER_02: No, no, they gave uh all that stuff up.
• 21:56
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, and it was because of COVID.
• 21:58
  SPEAKER_02: No, it was because they were losing money.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_02: I mean everybody come on, you know, no.
• 22:01
  SPEAKER_02: And everybody money be right back with it.
• 22:04
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 22:04
  SPEAKER_01: And I wouldn't know because, you know, I'm not trying to boink anymore.
• 22:08
  SPEAKER_01: So, you know, KFC.
• 22:09
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, you don't really go to anymore.
• 22:11
  SPEAKER_02: Because the only reason to eat is to boink, right?
• 22:13
  SPEAKER_01: I mean That's right.
• 22:14
  SPEAKER_02: So why eat?
• 22:15
  SPEAKER_01: That's right.
• 22:16
  SPEAKER_00: It's just a charade.
• 22:17
  SPEAKER_00: It's just a a ritual, a social construct, but we can dismantle it, you guys.
• 22:24
  SPEAKER_01: I love charades.
• 22:25
  SPEAKER_00: Steve.
• 22:26
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I I okay.
• 22:28
  SPEAKER_02: Two words.
• 22:30
  SPEAKER_02: First little word, I'm and then second one in.
• 22:33
  SPEAKER_02: I'm in, Chloe.
• 22:34
  SPEAKER_02: I I I want to help you dismantle this.
• 22:36
  SPEAKER_02: I I I want to join the fight, join the cause, join the movement, join the core, join the root.
• 22:43
  SPEAKER_00: And think, you know what you can do, you start by loving yourself.
• 22:48
  SPEAKER_00: Don't buy that chick you want to bang flowers.
• 22:51
  SPEAKER_00: Buy yourself flowers.
• 22:53
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 22:54
  SPEAKER_00: Date yourself.
• 22:55
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 22:56
  SPEAKER_02: Well, yeah, because you really you think about it, it's not so much you want to boink someone else.
• 23:00
  SPEAKER_02: You you want to be the boinkie, right?
• 23:03
  SPEAKER_02: So buy yourself the stuff and get yourself ready, right?
• 23:07
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 23:08
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, it's it's is that not a form of is that masturbation?
• 23:12
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know if that's what it's categorized.
• 23:14
  SPEAKER_00: Like you're trying to do, Steve.
• 23:17
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, well, yeah.
• 23:18
  SPEAKER_00: Self-love and to use a old term, self-abuse, I mean is self-care.
• 23:24
  SPEAKER_02: It is self-care.
• 23:25
  SPEAKER_02: That's exactly right.
• 23:26
  SPEAKER_02: That's why I kept telling my mom.
• 23:27
  SPEAKER_02: And my mom finally agreed, you know, once my dad got old enough, she she finally agreed too.
• 23:32
  SPEAKER_00: But you know, but yeah, yeah, it's exactly it.
• 23:35
  SPEAKER_00: That's exactly it.
• 23:36
  SPEAKER_00: And maybe when you date yourself, you come to realize what do I actually find fulfilling?
• 23:43
  SPEAKER_00: Is waking up next to a dude and then dragging our asses to brunch and then drunkenly going through the sales racket J.
• 23:52
  SPEAKER_00: Crew.
• 23:52
  SPEAKER_00: Is that love?
• 23:53
  SPEAKER_00: Is that fulfilling?
• 23:54
  SPEAKER_00: Is that all there is?
• 23:56
  SPEAKER_02: That sounds like punishment to me.
• 23:58
  SPEAKER_02: That sounds like a torture device.
• 24:00
  SPEAKER_01: But but if you had asked me before this interview, I would have said yes.
• 24:04
  SPEAKER_01: That is what it is.
• 24:05
  SPEAKER_01: That's love.
• 24:06
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 24:07
  SPEAKER_02: See, see the value of see the education that we're doing on the show.
• 24:11
  SPEAKER_02: Unbelievable.
• 24:12
  SPEAKER_02: See the value that we're bringing, see the see the mind expansion, see the the consciousness awareness, see the erasing of the knowledge that this show is bringing to all our millions, really.
• 24:23
  SPEAKER_02: Let's say, let's be honest, millions of listeners.
• 24:25
  SPEAKER_00: You can have the friends you sleep with, and you can have the friends you brunch with, and the friends you J.
• 24:30
  SPEAKER_00: Cruise sales rack with drunkenly, but it doesn't all have to be foisted onto one person.
• 24:36
  SPEAKER_02: Wow.
• 24:36
  SPEAKER_02: Boy, I that's deep.
• 24:38
  SPEAKER_02: Don't you wish you could like just go back and be 18 again and and and follow the path, follow the kernel, if you will.
• 24:46
  SPEAKER_02: Get in line and you know, march following the kernel and and do it this way instead of the other way.
• 24:52
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I I don't regret having spent my teens and twenties trying to fit the mold of romantic love because I think it was all of those humiliations and disappointments that helped me reach this kernel and question this whole complex that we all assume is gospel.
• 25:18
  SPEAKER_02: You know, Jeff, I now Chloe, I don't know if you listened to our last show because we had a motivational speaker.
• 25:24
  SPEAKER_02: It was a couple shows ago, I guess.
• 25:25
  SPEAKER_02: We had a motivational speaker who talked about success.
• 25:28
  SPEAKER_02: And you know what, Jeff?
• 25:29
  SPEAKER_02: She just did a better job than that guy did hitting the keyboards, you know, for the whole show.
• 25:34
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, she the way she described it, like her struggles led her to this mountaintop, if you will, to this, to this revelation, to this kernel.
• 25:44
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 25:45
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know what I'm gonna do with it, except maybe just keep sleeping with people and pissing my friend off.
• 25:51
  SPEAKER_00: But now that I have this word, aromantic, I can help explain why I'm not throwing my arms around the person that I just kicked out of my bed, or why I'm not baking them cookies and dropping it off at the fire department where they work or whatever you're supposed to do when you date.
• 26:11
  SPEAKER_01: That makes so much sense.
• 26:12
  SPEAKER_01: It does.
• 26:13
  SPEAKER_01: Now, the only thing I again, I'm just trying to connect the dots here, but every time you say Colonel, I think of Colonel Sanders, you know, which I know I'm off base.
• 26:23
  SPEAKER_01: I know I'm off base.
• 26:24
  SPEAKER_01: I know, you know what?
• 26:26
  SPEAKER_01: It's really hard to change behaviors and attitudes after all these years.
• 26:31
  SPEAKER_01: But uh, Chloe, I'm I'm learning.
• 26:33
  SPEAKER_01: The other thing that's kind of interesting, Steve.
• 26:35
  SPEAKER_01: This is sort of aside uh related to our show.
• 26:38
  SPEAKER_01: This might be the first time we've talked about sex in seven months of doing the show.
• 26:43
  SPEAKER_01: I find that interesting.
• 26:44
  SPEAKER_01: It's a statement.
• 26:46
  SPEAKER_01: Almost like we were asexual or aromantic in the content of our show.
• 26:52
  SPEAKER_02: Almost, and and you know, you know, Jeff, anybody that knew us you know 50 years ago would have uh you you could have gotten odds that we would go seven months and not have a show about sex.
• 27:02
  SPEAKER_02: You could have you know, you could have gotten big odds on that one.
• 27:06
  SPEAKER_01: Could have gone seven months without sex, but oh yeah, that's talking about it would be.
• 27:11
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, yeah.
• 27:12
  SPEAKER_00: I like to think that we're talking about sex, but we're talking about it as an aspect of just being a human and the human experience and not I I don't think that uh our content today was prurient in nature or salacious.
• 27:30
  SPEAKER_02: Salacious, that's that that's that matching.
• 27:32
  SPEAKER_02: That's a really cool word.
• 27:33
  SPEAKER_02: Sula salacious, yeah.
• 27:35
  SPEAKER_02: And uh prurient.
• 27:36
  SPEAKER_02: That's when you're like attracted to cats, you know.
• 27:38
  SPEAKER_02: That's it's it's it's weird.
• 27:40
  SPEAKER_02: It's one of those weird fetishes.
• 27:43
  SPEAKER_02: Well, yeah, the the cat turns them on.
• 27:45
  SPEAKER_02: It's weird, it's a weird fetish, you know.
• 27:47
  SPEAKER_02: It's I think the word itself turns me on.
• 27:49
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know about you, Steve, but that that word gets me very excited.
• 27:54
  SPEAKER_02: This is a less erotic word like blut or something.
• 27:57
  SPEAKER_02: It's a blood.
• 27:58
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, but German words.
• 28:00
  SPEAKER_02: But you come up with German words.
• 28:01
  SPEAKER_02: A German word would be perfect.
• 28:03
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, exactly.
• 28:03
  SPEAKER_01: Dump.
• 28:04
  SPEAKER_00: All right, guys.
• 28:05
  SPEAKER_02: Gosh, Chloe, you know, it has been so great to have you back.
• 28:09
  SPEAKER_02: And you know, I we'd like to we'd like to stay in touch as you go on this kernel, this journey, this path, this new path, which might have struggles, but I think you can see the light.
• 28:21
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, maybe the next time you hear from me, we'll have an aromantic history month, and I'll be hosting a brunch for that.
• 28:29
  SPEAKER_02: Oh my gosh, I would totally go.
• 28:32
  SPEAKER_02: As long as you got mac and cheese, I'm there.
• 28:33
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, yes.
• 28:34
  SPEAKER_01: And KFC.
• 28:35
  SPEAKER_02: KFC, yeah.
• 28:36
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, for sure.
• 28:37
  SPEAKER_02: Jeff will be there too.
• 28:38
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I'll be there.
• 28:39
  SPEAKER_02: This is just great.
• 28:40
  SPEAKER_02: But Jeff, remember, it's it's aromantic, so don't get too excited with the KFC.
• 28:44
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, you know, yeah, you know, you're right.
• 28:46
  SPEAKER_02: Chloe, listen, thank you very much.
• 28:48
  SPEAKER_02: And I'm gonna have to give Tippy a little tip, if you will, for uh reaching out to you.
• 28:54
  SPEAKER_02: That was that was a good move.
• 28:55
  SPEAKER_02: I'm I'm gonna I'll go pour a spurn off myself and I buy I might keep one from for me too.
• 29:00
  SPEAKER_02: But Chloe, listen, thanks again for coming in, and Jeff, I will see you next time with another guest.
• 29:05
  SPEAKER_01: That sounds great.
• 29:06
  SPEAKER_01: Thanks, Chloe.
• 29:07
  SPEAKER_00: Good night, gentlemen.
• 29:17
  SPEAKER_00: Each day is bound time.