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Carmen Talk: Self-Reflection and Personal Responsibility · All About The Joy

0:00
Carmen Lezeth: Hey everyone, welcome to All About the Joy.
0:02
Carmen Lezeth: I'm Carmen, your host, and this is another episode of Carmen Talk.
0:06
Carmen Lezeth: I want to first give a shout out to my lovely crew and neighborhood friends who stopped by on Thursday night on the live stream.
0:13
Carmen Lezeth: That happens every Thursday night, 6 pm Pacific, 9 pm Eastern, and, as always, we always have Rick Costa on the show, so I appreciate him.
0:22
Carmen Lezeth: Cynthia, thank you for coming on and hanging out.
0:25
Carmen Lezeth: Tony D was in the house and he wasn't sure he'd be able to make it and I asked him if he could stop on by and he did so I'm really grateful to him.
0:33
Carmen Lezeth: And also I want to give a shout out to Charlie Matera, who did his due diligence to hang out with us for a few minutes.
0:38
Carmen Lezeth: We always love when he stops by.
0:40
Carmen Lezeth: And again, I want to let you all know that you should definitely check out the live stream from this Thursday.
0:47
Carmen Lezeth: It was really fun and an enlightening conversation, as always, and funny but also poignant.
0:52
Carmen Lezeth: And also there are two live streams.
0:55
Carmen Lezeth: Actually they're not live streams.
0:56
Carmen Lezeth: I did two private lounges with Charlie Matera that really talk about his career and his life here in Hollywood, so they're really fun.
1:04
Carmen Lezeth: So check those out.
1:06
Carmen Lezeth: And, yeah, I want to get back to some things we were talking about during the live stream specifically, just kind of doing a little jumping off point from Gary V's Instagram video that I will put in the show notes if you'd like to check that out.
1:19
Carmen Lezeth: But basically he was talking about if you are someone who is continuously looking for hate, you're going to find it right.
1:28
Carmen Lezeth: If you're pessimistic, if you're a cynical person, you're going to find that in the world.
1:33
Carmen Lezeth: He was kind of just pinpointing that those of us that don't try to be optimistic, that don't try to be positive, we tend to get what we look for.
1:45
Carmen Lezeth: We tend to get what we give right.
1:47
Carmen Lezeth: But I started thinking about this the other day, and, especially as an actor, it's a really interesting thing when you take on a character that you think is a bad person.
1:57
Carmen Lezeth: So when you first start acting classes or whatever, nobody really wants to play the villain, and usually people that want to play the villain.
2:03
Carmen Lezeth: You're like, okay, you're a weirdo, right, like somebody who's like jumping up and down to play a murderer.
2:06
Carmen Lezeth: In your first acting class, you're kind of like, okay, you're a weirdo, don't you want to play the hero?
2:10
Carmen Lezeth: Because we all want to play the hero right.
2:13
Carmen Lezeth: So what I learned in acting class and I think is really kind of important in this conversation, is this when somebody is playing a murderer, when you take on that character in an acting class, you have to find a reason for why that person is going to murder or hurt or do a crime.
2:35
Carmen Lezeth: Most people, unless you're an absolute sociopath, that's a whole other level of thinking on.
2:41
Carmen Lezeth: You know, I don't know how to go about explaining that kind of situation, but let's just go with.
2:48
Carmen Lezeth: Even in your own life, if you've ever stolen anything, you know when you were a kid.
2:52
Carmen Lezeth: I mean, I stole $5 before when I worked at Little Peach, right, and I would do it every once in a while when I needed money.
2:57
Carmen Lezeth: Till I got caught, I didn't think I was doing a crime, I didn't think it was a big deal, I didn't think anybody would notice it and I needed the money.
3:04
Carmen Lezeth: I needed the five bucks, you know, until I got caught and I felt really guilty and bad.
3:10
Carmen Lezeth: But while I was stealing the $5 from Little Peach Little Peach is like a 7-Eleven for those of you who don't know what Little Peach is, but back I don't even know if they exist anymore, but back in the day they used to be like the little convenience stores, you know.
3:22
Carmen Lezeth: But I worked at this convenience store for a little bit and I would go hang out there when somebody else was working there and I would watch the cash register when they would like go to the bathroom or whatever, and every once in a while, like if I rang somebody up, I would, you know, take $5.
3:36
Carmen Lezeth: And I never took more than $5 a week because I was smart enough to know at least I thought I was that if you take more than that, they're going to notice it.
3:47
Carmen Lezeth: Right, it's not going to just be a mistake.
3:48
Carmen Lezeth: But anyways, clearly I shouldn't have done it to begin with.
3:50
Carmen Lezeth: My point is is I didn't go into it thinking, oh, I want to commit a crime, right, it came from a place of I need something.
3:56
Carmen Lezeth: What's the easiest way to get that something?
3:58
Carmen Lezeth: Most of us don't realize that we're being pessimistic or that we're being angry or that we are being cynical in the world, because those are very negative things and we don't ever think we do anything wrong.
4:11
Carmen Lezeth: Right, we are all just human beings doing the best we can, and what ends up happening more times than not is we just know that we're doing good, but it's being seen from other people as bad, and there is the disconnect.
4:27
Carmen Lezeth: I was thinking about Gary Vee's Instagram post and I'm sure he has it on all of his other social media and I realized, you know what?
4:35
Carmen Lezeth: There's a part to this that's just missing.
4:37
Carmen Lezeth: He's absolutely right, and any of you who know me know that.
4:40
Carmen Lezeth: I absolutely think Gary Vee is amazing and I hope someday I get to meet him.
4:43
Carmen Lezeth: But the problem is is that most people don't think they're pessimistic.
4:46
Carmen Lezeth: Most people don't think they're cynical.
4:48
Carmen Lezeth: Most people don't think that they're negative people in the world.
4:51
Carmen Lezeth: I don't know anybody who embraces the idea that they walk around being negative or pessimistic or violent or whatever you know, and I'm not saying that those things are all the same.
4:59
Carmen Lezeth: I'm saying when we do something bad as human beings, we don't even think we're doing something bad, because there's always some logical reasoning that we have for doing it.
5:08
Carmen Lezeth: And so when you're an actor, when you're trying to figure out how to play a role that is a villain or a monster or a horrible human being or somebody who does a crime, that's why it becomes so intriguing and that's why people always want to play those roles because you have to try to figure out a way to understand why that person is doing what they're doing Even the crazy sociopath.
5:31
Carmen Lezeth: You got to figure out reasonings right, you got to figure out the logic, you got to figure out the backstory, you got to understand why the person is about to commit a crime or commit a murder, and so that's what's intriguing when you're an actor.
5:44
Carmen Lezeth: But even in our own lives, when we are living a life and it is not the way in which we want it to be, and we have more people angry with us than not, or we are constantly crying or sick or depressed or feeling angst all the time, it's probably because we're not aware of our own interactions with the world and what we're doing.
6:11
Carmen Lezeth: It is possible that you don't mean to be cynical, but you are cynical because you're not paying attention to how you're behaving in the world, like here's a great example.
6:21
Carmen Lezeth: I know that there are people who continuously on social media especially.
6:27
Carmen Lezeth: All you have to do is go on TikTok and look at any comment section of any, any, any video.
6:31
Carmen Lezeth: There might be 1% of videos that won't have this, but no matter what video somebody posts, it doesn't matter who it is.
6:41
Carmen Lezeth: You're going to go read comments and I guarantee you you are going to find somebody who finds something wrong, bad or negative to say about whatever the video is, even if it's like just a kitty cat purring.
6:48
Carmen Lezeth: So people who are continuously writing things and reacting to things without thinking about how their behavior is reflecting in the world are those people that tend to be really, really negative and cynical.
7:03
Carmen Lezeth: If all you can see is the bad part of things when it happens instead of the positive, if all you can do is deal with the jealousy you have of whoever it is you see posting something on TikTok, or somebody who has a great podcast, or somebody who looks better than you or somebody who speaks better than you, if all you can do is be that negative person and want to step on that person or be mean to that person, you are being a negative human being, you are cynical, you are pessimistic, you are not doing your due diligence to be a better person.
7:35
Carmen Lezeth: And look, I said on the live stream on Thursday and I believe this to be true because I know it is you have to work really, really hard to be a good person.
7:46
Carmen Lezeth: We are all just human beings and that's okay.
7:50
Carmen Lezeth: But the societal nature of what happens with us, as the environment around us is also influential in who we are, as grownups or as teenagers, or as young adults or as old people.
8:02
Carmen Lezeth: All of that has an influence on us, and because it does, we are constantly thinking about ourselves first.
8:10
Carmen Lezeth: There is nothing wrong with thinking about ourselves first.
8:14
Carmen Lezeth: We really do have to be able to do that in order to protect ourselves.
8:17
Carmen Lezeth: Right, we can't just randomly be walking down the street and not paying attention to what's around us because we could get into an accident.
8:23
Carmen Lezeth: Right, we're trying to make sure we're looking and crossing the street making sure nobody's going to hit us because we want to protect ourselves all the time.
8:31
Carmen Lezeth: The problem with that is you can't walk in the world and interact with other people and constantly, all the time, only be worried about yourself.
8:39
Carmen Lezeth: How you interact with people matters If you're going to cross the street and all you're going to do is only worry about yourself, but not care about the little kid who's about to cross the street, who didn't see the 18-wheeler that's about to run them over, and you do nothing.
8:54
Carmen Lezeth: Who are you then?
8:55
Carmen Lezeth: Who are you then?
8:56
Carmen Lezeth: Right?
8:57
Carmen Lezeth: So listen, I know this is a little bit out there, but it enrages me that so many people, more and more every day, are falling victim to being victims.
9:10
Carmen Lezeth: It bothers me more and more every day that I see so many people continuously blaming others for their own plight in life.
9:18
Carmen Lezeth: So there are so many people, especially on social media, but even in my workplace, that their constant gripe is about how bad they have it.
9:26
Carmen Lezeth: And in my head I'm thinking if this is so miserable for you, if you are that miserable, change your circumstance or change your attitude.
9:34
Carmen Lezeth: I can't help you be a happier person.
9:39
Carmen Lezeth: I can't help you have joy.
9:42
Carmen Lezeth: I can't do that for you.
9:44
Carmen Lezeth: I can't make you happy.
9:45
Carmen Lezeth: I can give you a bonus That'll make you happy for the paycheck that you get it for till you spend it, but after that, you are the only person who can dig deep and figure out.
9:56
Carmen Lezeth: Why is it?
9:57
Carmen Lezeth: In every part of my life I have people who dislike me.
10:00
Carmen Lezeth: Why is it?
10:01
Carmen Lezeth: In every part of my life I have people who don't care about me?
10:05
Carmen Lezeth: How come nobody invites me to all the parties?
10:08
Carmen Lezeth: How come nobody tells me about the travel they're about to do or about the things that are about to happen?
10:14
Carmen Lezeth: Or there's a birthday party and nobody invited me.
10:16
Carmen Lezeth: Why is it that I'm alone?
10:18
Carmen Lezeth: These are great questions to ask yourself, because here's the answer you are the common denominator in all of your situations.
10:27
Carmen Lezeth: You cannot change anybody else in the world.
10:30
Carmen Lezeth: I cannot make Gary Vee do anything.
10:33
Carmen Lezeth: I can't make Tony D or Rick Costa or Cynthia do anything.
10:38
Carmen Lezeth: They don't want to do.
10:39
Carmen Lezeth: I can ask them, I can try to influence them, I can try to make them believe that if they do A, they'll be happier with B.
10:49
Carmen Lezeth: But what I can do, without a doubt, without fail, is change myself.
10:54
Carmen Lezeth: I can change me.
10:56
Carmen Lezeth: I can change the way in which I interact in the world.
11:00
Carmen Lezeth: I can take steps to, instead of being so self-absorbed, right about everything I have to do, instead start thinking how are my actions, how is my comment, how is my delivery?
11:13
Carmen Lezeth: How is my angst towards other people being taken by those people?
11:17
Carmen Lezeth: Do people understand me when I say A, b, c or D?
11:21
Carmen Lezeth: Do people get me?
11:22
Carmen Lezeth: Like, am I saying what needs to be said correctly, so that people are interpreting what I mean to say?
11:28
Carmen Lezeth: Because clearly there's a disconnect.
11:30
Carmen Lezeth: If people are angry with you all the time, and it's not just one person, guess what?
11:36
Carmen Lezeth: It might be you, it might be you, and so what I would suggest is to sit down.
11:43
Carmen Lezeth: Listen, I think it's really important for people to write by hand.
11:46
Carmen Lezeth: I know it's really difficult for a lot of people because people have lost this ability or they don't teach it in school.
11:51
Carmen Lezeth: I don't know what's going on with everybody using computers and texting or whatever.
11:55
Carmen Lezeth: This is how I do a self-analysis of myself on a pretty regular basis.
12:00
Carmen Lezeth: Okay, I use a pen and paper.
12:03
Carmen Lezeth: There's something tactile about that rhythm and for some of you it'll be really new and something you don't do.
12:12
Carmen Lezeth: But I'm telling you, get away from your iPads and your computers and your phones and your TV and whatever else your AirPods, whatever Just put all that aside.
12:18
Carmen Lezeth: Give yourself just 20 minutes to sit down with a piece of paper and a pen, in the quiet, and you know.
12:26
Carmen Lezeth: If you live by the beach, like I do, go sit on the beach and do it.
12:28
Carmen Lezeth: Or you know, sit on your porch or whatever it is in your room, it doesn't matter and just start writing.
12:33
Carmen Lezeth: And it doesn't matter what you write, but just start writing and then, at some point, start saying I like this, I believe that I want this, I do that.
12:44
Carmen Lezeth: Just go and keep writing, writing, writing, writing, all those things and then write how do I get this, how do I get that?
12:51
Carmen Lezeth: How do I buy a car?
12:53
Carmen Lezeth: How do I get more friends?
12:55
Carmen Lezeth: How do I have better grades in school?
12:59
Carmen Lezeth: How do I have better co-workers at work?
13:01
Carmen Lezeth: So then you do that part of it.
13:03
Carmen Lezeth: It just goes with the flow.
13:04
Carmen Lezeth: Just go how, how, how, how, how, and then answer those questions how do I buy a car?
13:10
Carmen Lezeth: Well, the way I'm going to buy a car is if I make more money, right.
13:13
Carmen Lezeth: I have to make more money to have a better income so I can buy the car that I want, right?
13:17
Carmen Lezeth: So I'm using that as an example.
13:19
Carmen Lezeth: How do I make more friends?
13:20
Carmen Lezeth: You have to start thinking about that.
13:22
Carmen Lezeth: And the next question would be why don't I have enough friends?
13:26
Carmen Lezeth: Why don't I have enough friends?
13:28
Carmen Lezeth: But I'm saying if you want more friends, why don't you have more friends in your social circles?
13:32
Carmen Lezeth: If all you're doing is fighting with people on a regular basis, baby, those are not friends.
13:36
Carmen Lezeth: If people are making you cry all the time, that's not a friendship.
13:40
Carmen Lezeth: I don't know why that is so difficult for people to understand.
13:43
Carmen Lezeth: As you go through the writing, just let yourself breathe.
13:46
Carmen Lezeth: Get into an exercise of trying to do that First in the beginning.
13:50
Carmen Lezeth: Just try to do it once in a while.
13:52
Carmen Lezeth: Then do the writing once a week.
13:54
Carmen Lezeth: I'm telling you, the more that you do something that is about learning about who you are.
13:59
Carmen Lezeth: By asking yourself questions, asking your own self some truths, you're going to get better at understanding how people perceive you.
14:08
Carmen Lezeth: And here's the thing you make little tiny adjustments.
14:12
Carmen Lezeth: There's nothing wrong with who you are.
14:14
Carmen Lezeth: That's not what this is about.
14:16
Carmen Lezeth: There's nothing wrong with who you are as a human being.
14:18
Carmen Lezeth: But if you want more out of life, if you want more joy out of life, if you want to be more optimistic and experience what life is like, I mean, look, here's the crux of it.
14:29
Carmen Lezeth: You know what.
14:30
Carmen Lezeth: It just hit me as I'm trying to record this.
14:32
Carmen Lezeth: It doesn't matter what my financial situation is, it doesn't matter what the weather is, it doesn't matter how much work I have on my table or in my schedule, it doesn't matter whether I'm, you know, visiting family or not visiting family, or talking to people or not talking to people.
14:48
Carmen Lezeth: You know, for whatever reasons people, you know you take time off, whatever I am always in a really good space of positivity.
14:56
Carmen Lezeth: I am always in a place of joy, like because I'm always excited about what's next, and even if I'm laying on the couch, like it's so funny.
15:04
Carmen Lezeth: I was just talking to my one of my best friends the other day.
15:07
Carmen Lezeth: We're having this really great conversation about how I'm doing and I told her there's all these things going on, they're stressing me out or whatever.
15:14
Carmen Lezeth: But at the end of the day, what I was focused on was that we had this great ability to have a conversation, because it had been such a long time since we had this time.
15:22
Carmen Lezeth: So I was actually really happy and she was even like yeah, you know, it's just life, we're getting older, blah, blah, blah.
15:28
Carmen Lezeth: But there was no hatred in my heart about anything that's going on in my life.
15:34
Carmen Lezeth: It's just stressful because I have to deal with a lot of stuff at work right now in two different offices.
15:39
Carmen Lezeth: I'm thinking about buying a really expensive car and I don't want to spend the money, but I think it's time to buy a new car.
15:47
Carmen Lezeth: Like there are just all these things that are starting to stress me out and I realized like they're stressing me out but they're not making me a negative person, like they're not making me angry or angst or anything like that.
15:56
Carmen Lezeth: And I'm telling you, it doesn't matter how much people know me when I had a lot of money.
16:00
Carmen Lezeth: People know me when I had no money.
16:01
Carmen Lezeth: Right now, I'm in like that middle space where I'm all right, even though I have to keep working.
16:04
Carmen Lezeth: But I think most people would agree that I am always in this same state of okayness.
16:11
Carmen Lezeth: People do not make me cry anymore.
16:13
Carmen Lezeth: I learned that lesson a long time ago and the reason why people don't make me cry anymore is because when people don't want to be in my life, I let them go.
16:21
Carmen Lezeth: I realize it's not about me, it's about you.
16:24
Carmen Lezeth: You got to do what you got to do.
16:25
Carmen Lezeth: I ain't worried about it.
16:26
Carmen Lezeth: Bye, you know, if you are so it doesn't hurt me anymore because I always I look at it from the positive point of view.
16:32
Carmen Lezeth: If you're somebody who has to move on, or you hate me, or you don't like me, or whatever, vaya con Dios.
16:38
Carmen Lezeth: And the reason why I said that is because when you leave, that opens up a whole other space in my life.
16:42
Carmen Lezeth: I want good energy.
16:44
Carmen Lezeth: I want people who want to be in my life.
16:46
Carmen Lezeth: I want people who make me a better person.
16:48
Carmen Lezeth: I want people who are positive and joyful and supportive.
16:52
Carmen Lezeth: I want people who, even if they don't agree with my dreams or even think my dreams are valid, are going to be there on the sidelines cheering me on.
16:59
Carmen Lezeth: That's what I want in my life and I'm going to work hard all the time to stay in that place of positivity.
17:05
Carmen Lezeth: Here is the thing that people don't understand Once you get into the rhythm of understanding that the world does not revolve around you and that you can do a better job of being a really good and decent human being by working on yourself and changing yourself, it becomes instinctual.
17:22
Carmen Lezeth: It takes time, but it becomes really easy.
17:25
Carmen Lezeth: You start to be more considerate of others in other, bigger, more fascinating ways, and it is an amazing journey when you turn around and start to understand that you are not the most important thing on the planet, but you become a really important person in other people's lives because they realize you care about them.
17:46
Carmen Lezeth: And I cannot tell you how transformative it is to understand that I can only be a really good, great, wonderful human being if the people around me are okay and healthy and fine and great and happy too.
18:02
Carmen Lezeth: And what we do when tragedy happens or something happens and we have to lean on others.
18:07
Carmen Lezeth: We're there with strength to walk each other through those moments.
18:11
Carmen Lezeth: That's what's fascinating about the human spirit.
18:14
Carmen Lezeth: That's what's magical and I'm not going to say it's magical, because I know it's not magic.
18:18
Carmen Lezeth: I know it's hard work and it's courage.
18:20
Carmen Lezeth: It takes a lot of courage to realize that you are the problem.
18:25
Carmen Lezeth: You are the problem in your own life.
18:29
Carmen Lezeth: Imagine that the reason why your life sucks is because you're not working on it.
18:34
Carmen Lezeth: You just keep thinking everybody else around you is going to change.
18:37
Carmen Lezeth: That's not how it works.
18:39
Carmen Lezeth: So go back into I don't care if you have to pretend you're an actor go back into being an actor and figuring out a way to analyze who you are in the world and then figure out a way to see if what you think you're portraying in the world is actually what people are perceiving.
18:57
Carmen Lezeth: Now don't get it twisted.
19:00
Carmen Lezeth: It is not my job to make sure you receive me well.
19:03
Carmen Lezeth: Okay, like I am who I is, and whether you like me or not, that's your business, I don't care.
19:07
Carmen Lezeth: But that's not what we're talking about.
19:09
Carmen Lezeth: If you are not happy in your life, if you can't find more joy in your life than not.
19:15
Carmen Lezeth: If you are not in a place of okayness and contentment.
19:18
Carmen Lezeth: If you are finding yourself fighting with people all the time, or always commenting negatively, or always doing thumbs downs to everybody's videos or everybody's blog post or whatever it is, if your whole journey in life is to be hateful and vindictive, if you see that and you realize that people are always angry with you.
19:37
Carmen Lezeth: That's why you want to do a self-analysis and make sure that the way in which you think you're coming across is actually the way people perceive you.
19:45
Carmen Lezeth: I can't tell you how many people, especially women, they believe themselves to be such strong and powerful women and independent and whatever.
19:53
Carmen Lezeth: And these people are not, you know, like they're absolutely not, and it's usually a really good clue to me that somebody who says that about themselves is usually a person who is not any of that.
20:06
Carmen Lezeth: I know that's counterintuitive, but most people that I believe who are really strong and powerful women don't talk about themselves that way.
20:15
Carmen Lezeth: Right, they don't say that about themselves.
20:18
Carmen Lezeth: So, going back to the Gary Vee video that he posted on social media, if you are somebody who is looking to be pessimistic, cynical, who is angry in the world he didn't say angry, I am saying that, who is constantly in a negative space.
20:32
Carmen Lezeth: If that's what you're continuously putting out there, that's what you're always going to get back, and if you don't think you're doing that but you feel like the world is against you or people are against you, then you have to go in and do a self-analysis of who you are.
20:46
Carmen Lezeth: Are against you, then you have to go in and do a self-analysis of who you are, because there's a disconnect.
20:50
Carmen Lezeth: You actually probably are not portraying yourself the way you think you are in the world, and all it takes is a little bit of courage to turn around and sit down and write and write and write and look.
21:02
Carmen Lezeth: Maybe writing isn't anything.
21:03
Carmen Lezeth: Maybe you talk into a tape recorder or something Okay, I just aged myself by tape recorder, but whatever on your phone or whatever, and you listen back to it, whatever it is.
21:10
Carmen Lezeth: What I'm saying is ask yourself those questions, find a way to do a self-analysis and figure out for yourself why you're reacting the way you are to things.
21:20
Carmen Lezeth: Why are you not being more positive?
21:23
Carmen Lezeth: If you hate someone so much, I'll say this If you hate someone like I had this ex-boyfriend who I was absolutely in love with and everyone knows the story he cheated on me, blah, blah, blah, whatever.
21:31
Carmen Lezeth: He made a fool of me and I was so upset and angry about the whole ordeal for years, for years I swear to God, years.
21:41
Carmen Lezeth: But he never knew that.
21:42
Carmen Lezeth: I mean, he never, ever knew that.
21:44
Carmen Lezeth: But all my friends knew it.
21:45
Carmen Lezeth: Okay, they all knew it.
21:46
Carmen Lezeth: But it took me a long time to realize that actually, what was more important to me was trying to figure out why I was attracted to such a scumball Like.
21:55
Carmen Lezeth: Why was I so attracted to somebody who honestly didn't deserve me?
22:00
Carmen Lezeth: But it made me ache and it was so painful and it made me so negative because I was so angry with him and for the longest time I thought it was all him.
22:06
Carmen Lezeth: But it wasn't him, it was me.
22:08
Carmen Lezeth: It was me because I chose him and he didn't deserve me.
22:18
Carmen Lezeth: And let me tell you, this is like four years of me in deep therapy with myself trying to come to understanding that I chose badly but I fell in love with him, right.
22:23
Carmen Lezeth: So that's kind of the same thing.
22:25
Carmen Lezeth: It's like I had to do a self-analysis of why am I still lingering?
22:29
Carmen Lezeth: He cheated on me, I walked away, we don't talk to each other.
22:32
Carmen Lezeth: Why am I still holding on to this man in my head and in my heart and then I realized it's because I chose badly and it took a lot of courage for me to admit it was.
22:40
Carmen Lezeth: Ultimately that was my fault.
22:42
Carmen Lezeth: I mean, I didn't know going into it, but I also didn't want to see all the signs.
22:46
Carmen Lezeth: I didn't want to see exactly what was right in front of me.
22:48
Carmen Lezeth: So if you can do a self-analysis of yourself and, by the way, I do this on a pretty regular basis because I want to check myself, I want to make sure I'm trying to be the best person I can be.
22:57
Carmen Lezeth: I also like to write, so there is that.
23:00
Carmen Lezeth: But don't let that dissuade you.
23:02
Carmen Lezeth: It takes a lot of work to be a good person, I think, at the end of the day and I don't have any social, scientific stuff to back this up, but this is just my experience People who don't do a self-check on themselves every once in a while tend to be people who are not happy, people who do not do a little overall analysis of who they are, who their friends are in their lives, what they do, the connections they have.
23:25
Carmen Lezeth: Why are they in this situation and not in that situation, when you don't do a self-analysis and take responsibility, because that's what it is take responsibility for your own life.
23:35
Carmen Lezeth: You tend not to be a really great person because you're always blaming other people for your life, even though other people don't give a shit about your life.
23:43
Carmen Lezeth: Nobody cares about your life, nobody.
23:45
Carmen Lezeth: Nobody cares about your life.
23:47
Carmen Lezeth: After a certain age, even your parents are like dude, I've done what I had to do.
23:50
Carmen Lezeth: It's time for you to move on.
23:51
Carmen Lezeth: You know what I mean.
23:52
Carmen Lezeth: Like other than your parents maybe, but I'm just saying at some point, you cannot keep thinking that everything revolves around you.
24:01
Carmen Lezeth: It has to be that you are here in the world and you know people aren't gonna like this either, but I always feel like I am here of service.
24:09
Carmen Lezeth: Let me say that again I am here of service.
24:13
Carmen Lezeth: What is my contribution to this planet going to be?
24:17
Carmen Lezeth: What's my contribution to this day going to be?
24:20
Carmen Lezeth: What's my contribution to this day at work, this day with my friends, this day on this podcast, this day on this live stream, this day in this writing?
24:26
Carmen Lezeth: What is my contribution going to be?
24:28
Carmen Lezeth: I am here of service to give whatever gifts I have, no matter how small, no matter how large.
24:33
Carmen Lezeth: I am here to do the best I can and to share myself the best parts of who I am with everyone else.
24:40
Carmen Lezeth: So how do I do that?
24:41
Carmen Lezeth: How do I do that?
24:42
Carmen Lezeth: How do I do that every day, to the best of my ability.
24:44
Carmen Lezeth: And when I mess up and when I fuck up because I do, because I'm human, am I able to take responsibility for that as well?
24:51
Carmen Lezeth: Am I able to say you know what?
24:52
Carmen Lezeth: I made a mistake?
24:53
Carmen Lezeth: I made a mistake and I need to fix that, I need to rectify it.
24:56
Carmen Lezeth: That is how you learn and know that you are being the best human you can be, when you are doing a self-analysis of who you are in the world and making sure that you are more considerate of the people around you and understanding that not everything is their fault, not everything is everybody else's fault.
25:13
Carmen Lezeth: If you are miserable every day, if you are the common denominator in every one of your situations, I'm just going to give you an idea that maybe you're the problem.
25:23
Carmen Lezeth: So work on that.
25:25
Carmen Lezeth: Okay, work on that.
25:26
Carmen Lezeth: Listen, I have faith in the human spirit.
25:28
Carmen Lezeth: I really do.
25:29
Carmen Lezeth: People hate when I say that Not people, but people think I'm kind of hokey and dorky about it, but I really do.
25:33
Carmen Lezeth: I believe in the best in people, you know.
25:36
Carmen Lezeth: I believe that we can be better human beings every single day, and I think the fascinating thing about human beings is that we grow every day.
25:44
Carmen Lezeth: We want to be smarter, better, we want to do more.
25:46
Carmen Lezeth: That's not the same when you look at other species, and you know I'm not going to go off on a tangent here, but I'm just saying what is the whole point of being here if it's not to be your best and most beautiful self?
25:59
Carmen Lezeth: What's the point?
26:00
Carmen Lezeth: I don't know, but think about all that.
26:03
Carmen Lezeth: I'd love to get some feedback.
26:05
Carmen Lezeth: Please, please, please, join us on the live stream.
26:07
Carmen Lezeth: We'd love to hear from you.
26:09
Carmen Lezeth: We're there on Thursday nights at 6 pm Pacific, 9 pm Eastern.
26:13
Carmen Lezeth: Listen to the podcast it always posts on a Sunday and check out our clips on all of our social media.
26:23
Carmen Lezeth: Check out aatjoy.
26:23
Carmen Lezeth: com or allaboutthejoy.
26:25
Carmen Lezeth: com or aatjoy.
26:26
Carmen Lezeth: com.
26:26
Carmen Lezeth: You can check us out, find all our links there.
26:28
Carmen Lezeth: We're on YouTube, linkedin hey, linkedin, love you.
26:31
Carmen Lezeth: Facebook, we're on Twitch and, yeah, you can also check out my website, carmensuarez.
26:37
Carmen Lezeth: com or allaboutthejoy.
26:38
Carmen Lezeth: com, and that's it.
26:40
Carmen Lezeth: Thank you so much.
26:42
Carmen Lezeth: We'll see you again next week and, hey, remember, it really is all about the joy.
26:47
Carmen Lezeth: You again next week.
26:50
Carmen Lezeth: And hey, remember, it really is all about the joy.
26:52
Carmen Lezeth: Thanks for stopping by.
26:53
Carmen Lezeth: All About the Joy.
26:55
Carmen Lezeth: Be better and stay beautiful folks.
26:56
Carmen Lezeth: Have a sweet day.