Latest / The Inspired Speaker Network / What Actually Makes Someone a Great Public Speaker? | S1E002

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What Actually Makes Someone a Great Public Speaker? | S1E002 · The Inspired Speaker Network

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  Danielle Benzon: If you're tired of hiding your brilliance behind
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  stage fright scripts or playing it safe, then you are in the
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  perfect place. This is the inspired speaker podcast, and I
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  am your host, Danielle Benson, professional rebel voice coach,
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  and your guide to speaking with confidence, charisma and zero BS
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  around here, we don't chase perfection, we choose
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  connection. So grab a hot beverage, warm up those vocal
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  cords and get ready to fall wildly in love with the sound of
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  your voice. Let's get inspired.
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  Welcome to episode two. I am so glad that you decided to
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  continue to listen to my podcast. Thank you so much for
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  being here before we get started. Let's just check in,
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  check in with your body, check in with your knees and your
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  pelvis. Make sure they're nice and loose. Release your
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  shoulders, release any tension in your neck and your jaw, lift
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  your sternum and breathe deeply into your belly. Now we're here.
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  I'm not going to start every episode like that, but it's a
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  good practice, so maybe you want to just saying it's a lovely way
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  to just get present, because that's what I want to do with
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  you today. I want to talk about presence and my philosophy,
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  because you are very kind to listen to my story and who I am
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  and how I got here and why I do what I do in the last episode,
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  and in this episode, I'd like to talk a little bit about how I
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  approach what I do and what my philosophy is, because there are
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  a lot of speaking coaches out there, but, you know, we're all
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  a little bit different, and I might be a little bit more I
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  might be a little bit more different than most. So I want
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  to make sure you know what you're getting into before we
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  continue this journey together. So I'd like to tell you a little
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  bit about how I work and what I believe a good speaker is, and
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  how we get there and how I can help you, you know, on this
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  journey with me, because the thing is, speaking, isn't
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  complicated. It's actually incredibly simple. But simple
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  doesn't mean easy, and we tend to like to really over
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  complicate things, because it's a way of distancing ourselves.
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  It's a way of not stepping into our power. So my speaking
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  practice, my philosophy, is extremely simple. The way that I
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  work with people is quite complex, because every human is
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  different. We all manifest our fears and our insecurities and
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  our defense mechanisms in different ways, in our body, in
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  our psychology. We're all different. But the concept, the
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  basic core concepts, are quite simple, presence, listening,
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  being there for your audience, trusting them, being authentic
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  and transparent so that you can connect. These are not complex
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  ideas. They're basic, they're foundational, but they're not
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  easy, and we want to make our script super complicated and do
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  all these things because it's a way of distancing ourselves from
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  the real thing we need to be doing, which is being present
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  and engaging and honest with our audience. And so I'm going to
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  walk you through my three steps that I take people through only
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  three my three steps that I take people through to become
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  successful speakers. Within those steps, there's a lot of
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  complexity, but the steps themselves are quite simple. The
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  first thing you need, and this is foundational, the first thing
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  you need to do as a speaker is get into your body, if we are
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  speaking from our head or from our throat, if we are
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  disconnected, nothing else works. What do I mean by that? I
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  kind of hinted at it when I was telling you about who I who I
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  am, and how I got here. But essentially, what I mean is we
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  need to embody our message, we need to live inside the body.
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  You use your body as a mode of expression, instead of a
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  transportation system for your brain. A lot of us use the body.
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  We work on the body, but we don't live in the body. We don't
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  inhabit it. And that's, I don't know if you can kind of grasp
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  the difference, but that's the huge shift we need to make,
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  instead of seeing our body as something that does for us, that
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  moves our brain around, that we work on living in the body,
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  allowing Our consciousness, our awareness on the inside, to
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  express itself through the body. Now there are a lot of practices
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  that I have to help people get there. It's not a switch. You
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  can't just go, oh, now I'm in my body. There are, there are
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  things that we need to do to help people to get there. It is
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  eventually something that you can just step into. Uh, or just
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  breathe yourself into within a second or two. But it's not
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  something that necessarily comes easily if you've never done it
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  before. So I have a lot of practices to ground the breath,
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  to ground the body, to align the posture, to build your
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  proprioception. That's your internal sense, like your right
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  and left, up and down, hungry. Those are like internal senses.
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  So to build that awareness, so that you're speaking from that
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  place, that is the first, number one, most important thing. If
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  you're not connected to yourself, you can't connect with
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  your audience, because there's nothing to connect to on the
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  other side. You gotta be connected on both ends for there
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  to be a conversation. So if we can't connect to ourselves,
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  first, if you it doesn't matter if you connect to your audience,
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  because they have nothing to connect to. So that's step one,
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  getting into your body. Step two is you have to speak. You gotta
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  get good at speaking. A lot of speaking coaches, a lot of
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  speakers, a lot of you know, industries will teach you that
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  you become a good speaker by creating a good script. You
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  don't become a better speaker by writing. You become a better
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  speaker by speaking. There is a lot of complexity that goes on
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  with the refined motor skills that it takes to speak, to
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  think, and turn that those thoughts into words is quite
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  complex. Language is a complex thing. We get a whole part of
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  the brain dedicated not to vocabulary, not to grammar, but
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  to the motor skills that it takes to speak. It's something
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  we have to practice. It's a skill like riding a bicycle, you
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  gotta practice it. You can't expect the first time. You know
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  if you're going to do the Tour de France, you don't want to be
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  you don't want that to be the first time you get on a bicycle.
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  You want to be really good at riding that bicycle first. You
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  want to know it inside and out. And so by becoming a good
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  speaker, that's how we get that confidence level. That's how we
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  build our practice. I don't want to teach someone to be really
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  good at delivering one particular script. You're not a
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  good speaker. Then you are then a person who is really good at
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  performing one particular script. That doesn't make you a
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  good speaker. You're a good speaker, if you can speak on
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  anything at a moment's notice, from your heart, with limited
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  preparation or no preparation. I know that sounds scary. It
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  sounds scary because we've been doing it backwards. We've been
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  teaching you to write it, first memorize it, and then perform
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  it, or write it and then half memorize it and then perform it,
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  which is almost worse,
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  this idea that you need to write something, memorize it, live
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  with it, take though it's so well that you take all of the
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  life out of the words that you have slaved over and perfected,
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  and then somehow try and inject that life into it again, so that
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  when you get up on stage, finally, maybe weeks later, in
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  front of these people or on camera and saying the words, it
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  sounds like it's the first time you've ever thought of them,
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  that's a lot of work. I'm a classically trained actor. I
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  know how much work that is. It's different if you have a
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  playwright who has spent years slaving over every comma, over
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  every pronoun, over every word, then you get it word perfect
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  because there is a reason that I say it is there instead of its
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  there's always a reason in good writing, that's part of my job
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  as an actor, is to figure out why that is, and that becomes
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  part of my memorization process. And I do I have to get to a
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  point where the words are boring because I know them inside out,
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  and then I have to find them again. And that's a lot of work
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  to find them again so that they feel fresh, so that I can be
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  present with the audience that is so much work and also no
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  offense to you, but you're not a playwright who's spending years
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  holed up writing this script. Who is to say that the person
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  you were three weeks ago when you were writing this has a
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  better idea of what to say than the person you are when you are
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  standing in front of this audience, taking in their their
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  vibe, their energy. You've spoken to the you know, the
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  organizer, maybe you've spoken to a few people in the audience.
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  You've been mulling over this for a while. Why is the person
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  in the past more qualified to make decisions about what you
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  say than the person in the now who has more information? I have
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  more information now than I had then. Why am I trusting that
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  person instead of this person? It's a very good question. You
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  are the writer when you're a speaker, and if you're not re.
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  Searching something brand new, and you know that is a slightly
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  different thing. But if you're speaking about something that
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  you know if your content is part of your everyday life or part of
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  your philosophy or part of who you are, you know it better now
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  than you did three weeks ago, because you've been living with
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  it, and you've been thinking about the context, and you've
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  been talking to people, and you've been mulling it over, and
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  hopefully you've been speaking it out loud, and you've seen it
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  from all these different angles. And what if something happens
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  when you are live, speaking on camera or on stage? What if you
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  get an idea that you never had before, and it's a great idea
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  and you want to share it. Do I share it? Do I choose to go off
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  script and share the idea and then risk it being difficult to
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  come back? Or do I ignore it and lose out on this amazing idea?
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  If I am comfortable improvising, if improvising is my default way
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  of doing things, I just incorporate that idea and keep
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  going. What if someone in the back is being really annoying on
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  their phone? What if a bird flies into the room? What if
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  there's an alarm and you have to stop and start again? Life is
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  chaos. We don't know what's going to happen. The more
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  flexible you are, the more agile you are as a speaker, the easier
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  it is for you to recover, the better you are as a speaker, at
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  the skill of speaking, not at the skill of memorizing a
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  perfect script, but of actually speaking and connecting and
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  being present with people rolling with The jokes and the
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  questions, slowing down or explaining something when
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  everyone looks confused. Listening to your audience is
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  something that you can only do in the moment. You can't do that
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  beforehand. I like to use the imagery of driving a train
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  versus learning how to drive a Landover. A script is a train
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  track, and you can go fast, and you can go efficiently, but as
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  soon as that train goes off the rails, you are screwed. Land
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  Rover. You can follow the track, you can go off, you can explore
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  the river, you can come back. You can Oh, there's a big hole
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  in the road. I will ignore that, and I will go over here, and you
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  become accustomed to going off road and coming back. So if you
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  forget what to say, if you're on a script, you forget what to
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  say, Oh, I'm so flustered I have to go back to my notes,
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  emergency, catastrophe, if I'm used to improvising. And I
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  forget what to say. I am so accustomed to recovery. I barely
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  notice, and I just go, oh, I wasn't what to say. Oh, say this
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  instead, and off we go. It's seamless. It might be noticeable
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  by your audience, but if you're enjoying it and you're staying
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  in the present, you're not in denial. We're not pretending it
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  didn't happen. They come with you. And sometimes, sometimes
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  that's the goal. I had a client who was so scared of speaking,
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  she she really hid behind her script. And we got her to the
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  point where she did a she did a presentation, and she messed up
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  the like third thing she said, she pronounced someone's name
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  wrong or something. I can't remember exactly what she did,
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  but she was doing a presentation. She was very
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  nervous, she was very tense, and she messed up. And instead of
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  freaking out, she laughed, dear, let's do that again. And just
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  started again. Recovered beautifully. The tension in the
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  room broke because she'd started very tense, and everyone was
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  like, Oh, this is going to be another awkward presentation.
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  Oh, no, I have to sit through this. She made a joke, she
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  messed up, she joked about it. Everyone laughed. They were with
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  her. It was the best presentation she ever gave,
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  because she was finally relaxed. She wasn't trying to pretend to
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  be perfect. She wasn't hiding behind this facade, she was just
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  being herself with her colleagues. Those little
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  mistakes, those can be golden nuggets, if you know how to use
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  them. Learning how to speak impromptu is a skill. I have a
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  script list speaking system that I teach to people. So if you're
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  curious about that, let me know. But that is number two, how to
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  speak. And then the third one is where to speak. The business of
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  speaking, you may not be speaking for sales. You may be
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  speaking, you know, internally within your company, or, you
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  know, as a leadership role, or maybe you're raising money for a
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  charity. I don't know why you're speaking, but it is still a
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  system. It's still a business, even if it's not kind of
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  traditional, you know, I'm going out to make sales. Kind of
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  business, there is a there's a system to it. There is a
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  structure to it. And so learning how to do that, how to represent
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  yourself. Of how to put your ideas together, how to create
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  the context. That is the third piece of being a successful
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  speaker. And so we only have three steps, get in your body,
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  learn how to speak impromptu, just the words and your brain
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  working together, and then the business of it, whatever that
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  practicality, those logistics are not complicated, difficult,
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  perhaps, within that there is, of course, more, there's
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  storytelling, there's resonance, there's projection, looking
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  after your instrument, but these are all details that we can get
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  into later, once the system works, there are a lot of
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  speaker trainers out there who will tell you, there's all these
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  rules of how to be a good speaker, and you have to do
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  this, and you have to wear a suit, and you have to move
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  around the stage, and you have to do you're not allowed to say,
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  I'm
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  Ah, there's a lot of rules around being a good speaker. I
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  have three you need to be seen. People need to see you. You need
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  to be heard. People need to hear you, and you need to be
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  understood. If you are speaking so quickly, or you are mumbling,
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  or your tech is so bad that people can't understand you,
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  then even if they can hear you, they can't understand you. So
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  that third piece is really the same as being heard. But you
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  know, just filling it out, adding more clarity, seen, heard
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  and understood, that's it. There are best practices and there are
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  guarantees, but everything else is a choice. It's up to you to
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  intentionally make those choices if you just break rules because
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  you're not aware of them, that can come across as sloppy or
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  disrespectful if you break rules on purpose, that can be part of
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  your magic, that can be part of your brand, that can speak to
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  your people. There are some guarantees. I can guarantee you
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  that if you are present and doing your best and there for
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  your audience, they will be there for you. If you can be
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  seen, heard and understood, I can guarantee you that it's when
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  we just disengage from our audience. When we're we're not
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  present, we're not transparent, when we're when we're in denial,
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  that's when they disengage with us. That's when they judge us.
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  If you are present with them and engaged with them, they will be
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  there for you. Another rule or a guarantee, interested people are
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  interesting if you let that interest come out. And this is
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  where that number one, embody yourself becomes so important.
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  If you're not embodying your interest, if you have all of
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  these blocks between yourself and your interest and your
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  audience, they may not see your interest and you're not they're
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  not engaged with that. But if your instrument is open and
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  working and you are interested, it doesn't matter. It doesn't
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  matter what you're wearing. It doesn't matter how many times
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  you say, it doesn't matter, they don't care. Those are just
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  distractions. If you are interested, you will be
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  interesting. If you find what you're talking about exciting,
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  they will be excited with you. There's this contagious empathy
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  that happens between a speaker and their audience when you are
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  present and connected. As long as you're present and connected,
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  they're with you. So don't worry too much. Don't worry about the
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  packaging. Allow yourself to be in service. Get out there. If
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  you don't start, if you don't begin, there's nothing to
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  improve. And I can help you. I can help you identify your
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  strengths and your weaknesses. In fact, click on the link that
• 18:47
  I provided for today's episode. It's a speaking coach in your
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  pocket. So you this little mini me that you can carry around,
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  not quite but it is a version of me with my best practices and
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  kind of answers to some of the most common questions, the most
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  common conundrums, the most common challenges that speakers
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  come up against. I've made a list of all the things that
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  might get in your way and what to do to help you get over them.
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  So click on that speaking coach in your pocket, and I've got a
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  whole bunch of suggestions and help for you, because you will
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  you'll identify, oh, I do this and I don't like it. Great,
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  let's improve it. Oh, I'm actually quite good at this.
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  Great. Let's solidify that. Let's lean into that. You are
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  unique. You don't want to be just like everybody else. The
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  old fashioned way of robotic speaking is gone. The age of
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  robots is over. We don't want boring robotic speakers anymore.
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  The age of the messy, authentic human is here, and I am so glad
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  that it is because I am a very messy. Be authentic human, and I
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  bet you are too. So go out there. Be real. Don't pretend to
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  be more than you are. Start small, improve in increments.
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  Use my speaking coach in your pocket, and I think you'll be
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  surprised by how good you actually are when you just
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  follow your heart, listen to your instinct, trust your gut
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  and let yourself be inspired.
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  Thanks for listening to the inspired speaker podcast. If
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  today's episode sparked something in you, I invite you
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  to take one small, courageous step, practice, speak, share, if
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  you'd like support turning that spark into a full on speaking
• 20:45
  mastery Blaze. Then come join me at the inspired speaker
• 20:49
  academy.com. Remember your voice matters. The world needs to hear
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  it, because confident speakers change the world, one story, one
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  stage, one moment at a time until next time. Keep shining
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  your light and keep speaking your truth.