Latest / Impact Ready / 204. Achieving Big Goals: How Personal Growth Can Feel Hard

Transcript

204. Achieving Big Goals: How Personal Growth Can Feel Hard · Impact Ready

• 0:02
  Welcome to Impact Ready, a show dedicated to helping you elevate
• 0:06
  your impact in the world. I'm Steph Safra, your host.
• 0:09
  Let's explore the power of showing up with intention and
• 0:12
  energy each day. This is for those who seek to
• 0:15
  make life truly meaningful. Get ready for impact.
• 0:22
  Hey team, hope you're having an awesome week.
• 0:25
  Welcome to the show. Today in this episode, we are
• 0:28
  going to talk about one of the common struggles for humans and
• 0:32
  that is the expectation of having an easy life.
• 0:37
  You know, we talk so often on this podcast about how we can
• 0:40
  expect challenge and struggle in our life.
• 0:43
  It's it's kind of a given. It's sort of a part of the game
• 0:47
  of living, and we can choose how we view the challenge.
• 0:51
  It can be seen as our suffering, our struggle, our pain, or it
• 0:57
  can be seen as an opportunity or something to teach us or grow
• 1:02
  us. And despite our logical brains
• 1:05
  understanding this idea, one of the big frustrations that people
• 1:08
  express is that life feels hard. And they get frustrated by the
• 1:14
  fact that they deal with a lot of challenge or uphill clients.
• 1:18
  They find it to be one of their greatest stressors in their
• 1:21
  life. And I understand it.
• 1:25
  I absolutely understand that there are many ways in which
• 1:29
  life can throw curveballs at us and things can feel really hard.
• 1:32
  It's true. But the interesting thing is
• 1:36
  that many of the people who are telling me things like this are
• 1:39
  people who want to have really big lives.
• 1:43
  They want to have big success in their personal or professional
• 1:47
  life. They want to have big incomes,
• 1:49
  big opportunities. They want big respect, big
• 1:53
  status. They want to have a lot of
• 1:55
  freedom. They want more time to do
• 1:59
  whatever they want with. They want to have big
• 2:01
  achievements and overall just do big things.
• 2:05
  And to all of those people, I say stop begrudging the
• 2:11
  challenge and the struggle. When you are asking for a big
• 2:15
  life, just knock it off. Stop expecting things to be easy
• 2:22
  when you're trying to do things that most people will never do.
• 2:27
  Never in their lives will most people try to achieve some of
• 2:31
  the stuff that you are trying to achieve.
• 2:34
  In order to get that big life that you want, you'll have to
• 2:37
  overcome challenges that most people won't ever come across.
• 2:41
  They'll never seek it out. They'll never try to get out of
• 2:44
  their comfort zone. You'll face what other people
• 2:47
  avoid, and that includes the challenge, the struggle, the
• 2:52
  discomfort, the unknown. You'll think or act or create in
• 2:58
  ways that 90% of the population will never push themselves to
• 3:02
  do. There's a saying that's often
• 3:05
  plastered on the walls of gyms, and it says something to the
• 3:08
  effect of if it were easy, everyone would do it.
• 3:12
  You've probably been to a gym that has that on the wall.
• 3:16
  But it's so true. If it were easy, everyone would
• 3:20
  do it. But everyone doesn't do it
• 3:22
  because it's not easy and we need to burst that bubble of
• 3:25
  expectation. Now, before we go any further, I
• 3:30
  first just want to acknowledge something really quick about
• 3:32
  this idea of a big life versus any other kind of life.
• 3:36
  I'm not passing judgement on the way that anybody lives.
• 3:39
  I truly believe that every person here on earth is on their
• 3:42
  own path. They have their own purpose to
• 3:44
  being here with their own lessons to learn along the way,
• 3:48
  whatever that looks like. And I'm not judging that.
• 3:51
  I'm not judging any person's path.
• 3:53
  But the reality is, there are some people who just want more,
• 3:57
  and they're willing to invest more time, more energy, and
• 4:02
  resources into making that life a reality for themselves.
• 4:06
  There's nothing wrong with wanting more.
• 4:08
  There's nothing wrong with wanting big.
• 4:12
  But for all those that do, do you really expect that life in
• 4:16
  those pursuits should feel normal?
• 4:19
  Nothing about that is going to feel normal.
• 4:22
  You are trying to achieve things way beyond what the average
• 4:25
  person would do. Of course that's going to feel
• 4:28
  scary at times. Of course it's going to push you
• 4:30
  and stretch you. Of course you're going to be
• 4:33
  frustrated and challenged. That's part of the gig.
• 4:37
  There's so many people that I've had conversations with over the
• 4:40
  course of my career who want big things, but to look at what they
• 4:45
  say and then observe what they do in their life.
• 4:49
  Sometimes it didn't match up. I would look at them and think
• 4:52
  you've got some pretty skewed expectations if you think you're
• 4:56
  going to get all of those things for free.
• 4:59
  I've had to reckon with this idea myself because I'm one of
• 5:03
  those people who wants a big life, wants big freedom and big
• 5:06
  achievement and big opportunity. And this was something that I
• 5:10
  had to learn and accept years ago and honestly something that
• 5:14
  I still have to remind myself of when I get into the struggle
• 5:17
  sometimes. And it keeps me humble.
• 5:21
  If I want a 10 out of 10 life, then I can't bring 4 out of 10
• 5:25
  energy to the work that it requires.
• 5:28
  I can't put 5 out of 10 effort into that.
• 5:32
  And it would be crazy for me to assume that 6 out of 10
• 5:36
  discipline would allow for that 10 out of 10 dream to come to
• 5:40
  reality. I can't scream and throw
• 5:43
  tantrums every time I meet challenges that allow me to
• 5:46
  level up. And yet people do it all the
• 5:50
  damn time. And herein lies the struggle.
• 5:54
  We humans create so much suffering for ourselves because
• 5:57
  we're not accepting of the reality in front of us.
• 6:01
  We have misguided or just plain false expectations of what life
• 6:06
  should look like. We rail against the world
• 6:09
  because it doesn't look the way that we want it to, when in
• 6:12
  reality it's not even what we really want, and we never had
• 6:16
  control of what it looked like in the first place.
• 6:19
  So many people have an expectation that things should
• 6:22
  be smooth and easy all the time, and yet we want to feel pride
• 6:27
  and achievement and courage and accomplishment, things that you
• 6:31
  can really only feel when you go through the hard stuff.
• 6:35
  We want to feel joy and freedom and peace and ease, but you can
• 6:40
  really only feel that when you understand the other side of it,
• 6:44
  when you've gone through the hard things that show you the
• 6:47
  contrast of what ease and freedom can actually feel like.
• 6:53
  You know, this is something I've been thinking a lot about with
• 6:55
  the influx of AI and new learning models every week.
• 6:59
  It seems like putting minimal effort and minimal information
• 7:04
  into a learning model and trying to get these fantastic outcomes,
• 7:07
  trying to get these huge projects and beautiful,
• 7:11
  brilliant results from just a minimal amount of effort on our
• 7:14
  end. It makes me wonder how are we
• 7:17
  going to be able to think for ourselves, but also how are we
• 7:19
  going to be able to feel these things that we've been wanting
• 7:21
  to feel. The achievement and the courage
• 7:23
  and the accomplishment and the pride.
• 7:25
  Those things, those feelings that we really get to access
• 7:29
  through the hard work and the struggle and and getting through
• 7:32
  the challenge. I don't know what's going to
• 7:34
  happen. It just has me thinking about
• 7:36
  that. But back to this idea that our
• 7:40
  expectations and our skewed perspective is what so often
• 7:45
  creates our own suffering. You can't expect to have
• 7:48
  greatness without putting any effort or any energy in.
• 7:52
  You can't expect to achieve big things without going through the
• 7:57
  struggle, whatever that might look like.
• 7:59
  And those false expectations are what create so much suffering
• 8:03
  for us. Most of the time, it's not even
• 8:06
  the challenge that is really that painful.
• 8:08
  It's the way that we feel about it.
• 8:11
  It's the way that we rail against the world.
• 8:14
  How dare you give me hardship and challenge, even though I'm
• 8:17
  trying to do things that require deep growth and deep learning
• 8:20
  and for me to pull from the depths of my own strength.
• 8:23
  I mean, how dare you, world. It doesn't make sense.
• 8:28
  And so for anyone out there who has big dreams of big
• 8:32
  achievements, you have to release this idea that
• 8:35
  everything is going to feel easy.
• 8:37
  We have to let go of the expectation that we should just
• 8:41
  rise to the top without any effort or having to overcome
• 8:45
  obstacles. That's not reality and it will
• 8:48
  cause endless suffering the longer that we hold onto this
• 8:52
  false illusion. Now, this doesn't mean that you
• 8:55
  can't feel ease along the way. Ease can actually come with
• 9:00
  acceptance of challenge, and it doesn't mean that you can't find
• 9:04
  your own freedom within the process or experience joy and
• 9:08
  happiness and excitement as you kind of navigate all of these
• 9:11
  challenges. In fact, most people feel those
• 9:14
  things the most when they're doing hard things.
• 9:18
  All of those feelings live there.
• 9:20
  You just have to look for them and try to access them on your
• 9:23
  own accord. So my reminder to myself and to
• 9:28
  you is to level set whatever expectations you have about how
• 9:33
  life should look, factor in how big of a life you're trying to
• 9:37
  create, and measure it. What kind of energy am I
• 9:40
  bringing to my goals and my dreams?
• 9:42
  On a scale of 1 to 10, how would I measure those things?
• 9:46
  If you're bringing 5 out of 10 energy to a 10 out of 10 dream,
• 9:51
  you can see where things might be going wrong.
• 9:54
  And that information alone gives us the ability to course correct
• 9:58
  and start to make a little more progress.
• 10:00
  Remember, you get to be the creator of your life if you
• 10:03
  choose to be. There's so much power within
• 10:05
  you. So use it and don't begrudge the
• 10:08
  challenge in front of you. So that's all for today.
• 10:12
  If this episode, if this podcast has helped you in any way, a
• 10:16
  32nd review on Apple is the single best way to help someone
• 10:20
  else find this show so that we can pass it on and have the
• 10:23
  ripple effects that we're all trying to have with our impact.
• 10:26
  I truly appreciate you being here.
• 10:27
  Thank you for listening. And as always, thank you for
• 10:30
  being ready to impact. Thanks for listening to Impact
• 10:34
  Ready. I hope today's episode inspired
• 10:36
  you to own your impact and recognize that you are powerful.
• 10:40
  By elevating our energy and awareness, we can create
• 10:43
  exponential change in this life. If you enjoyed today's insights,
• 10:46
  share them with a friend and subscribe to the show for more.
• 10:49
  I truly appreciate you. Thanks again for being here.