Latest / Overwhelmed Working Woman: Boost Productivity, Master Time Management, Overcome Overwhelm & Stop People Pleasing / #112| How To Escape the Trap of Overthinking and Enjoy More Productivity Every Day
Transcript
- 0:00Michelle Gauthier: This is why overthinking sucks, because not only does it not solve the problem, but it also puts you in worse energy and keeps you stuck in overwhelm.
- 0:11Michelle Gauthier: You're listening to Overwhelmed Working Woman, the podcast that helps you be more calm and more productive by doing less.
- 0:23Michelle Gauthier: I'm your host, michelle Gothier, a former overwhelmed working woman and current life coach.
- 0:28Michelle Gauthier: On this show, we unpack the stress and pressure that today's working woman experiences and in each episode you'll get a strategy to bring more calm, ease and relaxation to your life.
- 0:40Michelle Gauthier: Hi, friend, welcome to Quick Hit Thursday.
- 0:45Michelle Gauthier: I have just finished cleansing my office with Apollo Santo sticks, so all of the energy in this place is amazing right now.
- 0:53Michelle Gauthier: If you don't know what that is, it's supposed to be a magical way to cleanse the energy in a space.
- 0:59Michelle Gauthier: You kind of light it on fire and then you blow it out, and then it says you paint the air with the smoke.
- 1:03Michelle Gauthier: I don't care if you believe in that weird stuff or not.
- 1:06Michelle Gauthier: I think it's just fun sometimes because, you know, I believe that our thoughts are always creating our results.
- 1:12Michelle Gauthier: So if I believe that it is clearing out the energy in here, it is clearing out the energy in here.
- 1:19Michelle Gauthier: Today, we're going to talk about overthinking, you're going to discover why overthinking sucks - you might already know that part - a new way to think about it, and how to stop overthinking in order to feel less overwhelmed.
- 1:34Michelle Gauthier: Let's dig in.
- 1:35Michelle Gauthier: Last week - I said that let's dig in like I sounded defeated, and it's true, because last week I did feel a little bit defeated.
- 1:43Michelle Gauthier: I had so many things to do and it felt like they were all of equal importance, which we know is a thought that our brain offers us, but is actually not true.
- 1:53Michelle Gauthier: We can really prioritize if we try to, but my brain was just telling me that I had a million things to do and that I needed to get them all done by Friday and that my business was dependent on it.
- 2:06Michelle Gauthier: That was the most dramatic thought, but it sounds funny now.
- 2:09Michelle Gauthier: Didn't feel funny at the time.
- 2:11Michelle Gauthier: So I really caught myself in a loop of overthinking, and when I feel overwhelmed, it's like overthinking makes me feel overwhelmed, and then, when I'm overwhelmed, I can't stop overthinking.
- 2:21Michelle Gauthier: So it's just this loop that goes back and forth, and I wonder if that probably resonates with you too.
- 2:26Michelle Gauthier: I think that's sort of human nature.
- 2:28Michelle Gauthier: But what happened around here was I love January and I love getting so many things done and making all these plans and finalizing what we're going to do for the year and all of that stuff.
- 2:40Michelle Gauthier: So it's really fun to me, but I tend to want to do everything and take on so much.
- 2:46Michelle Gauthier: I was evaluating how many emails that I think we should send out in a week and normally I send out an email every Wednesday and I was debating on going to more of a newsletter format where I would send that out on Wednesday but maybe every other week, and that it would have more information in it than my usual Wednesday emails.
- 3:03Michelle Gauthier: Okay, now, if you really think about that from a calm and clear perspective, it probably really doesn't matter.
- 3:10Michelle Gauthier: It's just sort of personal preference, like what do I think that readers would prefer?
- 3:14Michelle Gauthier: And I can't really know that because that's out of my control.
- 3:17Michelle Gauthier: So I just have to take a guess and try it, see how it does, see what kind of feedback I get, and then if it doesn't work, I could always just go back to what I was doing, right?
- 3:31Michelle Gauthier: So that's like the calm, clear thinking.
- 3:32Michelle Gauthier: The way that it went in my mind was like, well, what if I changed to every other week?
- 3:34Michelle Gauthier: And then everybody is not used to getting emails from me and then people don't open it and I'm not helping anybody, and maybe they'll be too long, and I just thought myself into the place where it was like, and then nobody will ever read any of my emails, and I'll go out of business.
- 3:49Michelle Gauthier: And this is why overthinking sucks, because not only does it not solve the problem, but it also puts you in worse energy and keeps you stuck in overwhelm.
- 4:01Michelle Gauthier: So here's a trick that you can use that I used to get myself out of this overthinking.
- 4:06Michelle Gauthier: Picture yourself at the top of a staircase.
- 4:09Michelle Gauthier: Okay, so you're standing at the top of a staircase and the worst case scenario for the decision that you're considering is the bottom of the stairs.
- 4:17Michelle Gauthier: So at my house I have a basement.
- 4:19Michelle Gauthier: I can stand at the top of my staircase and look all the way down to the floor of the basement, and the way that I think about overthinking is like you take a step down, like oh, what if I do this, then that could happen?
- 4:31Michelle Gauthier: Right, like what's the worst thing that can happen?
- 4:34Michelle Gauthier: And then overthinking is when you just lose your footing and you tumble and you roll all the way down those steps and you end up at the bottom, like lying on your back, and the answer is I'll go out of business.
- 4:46Michelle Gauthier: Or when I worry about something like letting - I have teenagers, it's always like a, Do I let them do this?
- 4:52Michelle Gauthier: They've never done this before.
- 4:54Michelle Gauthier: Should I let them, for example, drive to their dad's house, which is two hours away?
- 4:58Michelle Gauthier: Do I want them in the car?
- 5:00Michelle Gauthier: And instead of being able to think through that, if you fall all the way down those basement steps, it's like the worst decision you've ever made and something terrible happens and it'll be your fault for the rest of your life.
- 5:10Michelle Gauthier: You know how mom brain goes.
- 5:12Michelle Gauthier: So that kind of overthinking where you're falling down the basement stairs doesn't usually benefit - no, in fact, I'll just say it doesn't benefit anyone or any kind of thinking.
- 5:23Michelle Gauthier: So instead, when you're standing at the top of the stairs looking down at worst case scenario, first of all think, do I really need to step all the way through worst case scenario?
- 5:34Michelle Gauthier: And honestly, sometimes that answer is yes.
- 5:36Michelle Gauthier: If you're making a big decision, I think it is helpful to think through those steps, and in one second I'm going to give you an example of that and walk you through how to do that.
- 5:45Michelle Gauthier: Other decisions, such as what day do I send out emails?
- 5:48Michelle Gauthier: I mean there really isn't a worst case scenario and I really don't even need to walk down those stairs.
- 5:55Michelle Gauthier: So instead I'm going to stand at the top of the stairs and I'm going to say, how about I just give this a try and see how it turns out, how about that?
- 6:02Michelle Gauthier: And I don't even have to go down the path of overthinking or even going through each of the worst case scenario steps.
- 6:10Michelle Gauthier: Now, as another example, if you're thinking about, I work with a lot of people who either already own businesses or quit their jobs to start their new business.
- 6:20Michelle Gauthier: A really common conversation that we have is, you know, what if, when I'm a business owner, the very bottom where lots of my clients get is like, I won't have any money, I won't be able to pay my mortgage, I won't be able to support my family, we'll all end up homeless and I'll be ruined for life.
- 6:47Michelle Gauthier: Right?
- 6:47Michelle Gauthier: Like that's the lying on the floor at the bottom of the basement stairs.
- 6:51Michelle Gauthier: But if you instead walk yourself down each one of those steps and keep saying OK, and then what, and then what, and then what, you can still worry yourself all the way to the bottom, worrying it all the way through is how I describe that, but it feels much more reasonable and it's coming from a clear place, versus a place of falling down the stairs and just immediately going to worst case scenario.
- 7:14Michelle Gauthier: So let's do it.
- 7:15Michelle Gauthier: So in this situation, I would ask my client okay, what are you worried about?
- 7:19Michelle Gauthier: I'm worried that I won't make any money.
- 7:21Michelle Gauthier: Okay, so what will happen if you don't make any money?
- 7:25Michelle Gauthier: Well, if I don't make any money, I guess I'll keep trying to make money or try something different to make money, or I'll get a job somewhere else, I'll do some consulting, I'll do something else on the side so that I can bring in money.
- 7:38Michelle Gauthier: Okay, so if you do that, if you get a side job, then what's the worst that could happen?
- 7:44Michelle Gauthier: Well, maybe that'll distract me from my business.
- 7:46Michelle Gauthier: Okay, and what's the worst that can happen there?
- 7:49Michelle Gauthier: Well, I guess I'll end up working full-time at Starbucks and not doing my business.
- 7:53Michelle Gauthier: Okay, and what's the worst that could happen if you work at Starbucks full time?
- 7:57Michelle Gauthier: I guess nothing.
- 7:58Michelle Gauthier: I guess I could always decide to quit or cut my hours back and try to focus on my business more, etc.
- 8:05Michelle Gauthier: So, as you're walking from the first down step to the second down, step to the third and you're evaluating with a clear mind what could happen and what are the chances of those things happening.
- 8:15Michelle Gauthier: Your worst case scenario usually stops about three or four steps down, where it's like, okay, if I don't make money, I'll figure out a different way to make money or I'll, you know, try different tactics with my business.
- 8:28Michelle Gauthier: And it's because, as a human, you're a person who has lots of evidence that you can make money in a whole variety of ways.
- 8:35Michelle Gauthier: If you think back from the time you got your first job like I was, I think, 15 or 16 when I got my first job till now and wrote down all the things that I've done that made money there's a ton of things and I could do them all if I needed to.
- 8:49Michelle Gauthier: So that's a good example of where realizing you're in overthinking, standing at the top of the steps, taking one step down and saying what's worst case scenario?
- 8:57Michelle Gauthier: Okay, and if that happens, then what would I do?
- 8:59Michelle Gauthier: Then what would I do?
- 9:00Michelle Gauthier: Then?
- 9:00Michelle Gauthier: What would I do?
- 9:01Michelle Gauthier: Keep stepping down until you feel like, okay, I've thought through worst case scenario and now I can decide what I want to do without overthinking.
- 9:10Michelle Gauthier: Okay, that's it for today, friend, don't fall down the basement steps today.
- 9:16Michelle Gauthier: Okay, just catch yourself.
- 9:17Michelle Gauthier: Decide if you even need to take a step down.
- 9:19Michelle Gauthier: And if you do need to take a step down, take one step at a time.
- 9:23Michelle Gauthier: Ask yourself what's the worst that could happen, and gently go down four or five steps, however many you need, until you feel like you have clearly made that decision.
- 9:32Michelle Gauthier: If you know an overthinker who could use this message, it would be fantastic if you could pass this episode along to them.
- 9:38Michelle Gauthier: It would also be wonderful if you could give us a rating and a review that helps the podcast get shown to more people, so we can help all the overwhelmed working women have a great week.
- 9:50Michelle Gauthier: See you Monday.
- 9:50Michelle Gauthier: Thank you for listening to the Overwhelmed Working Woman podcast.
- 9:54Michelle Gauthier: If you want to learn more about my work, head over to my website at michellegauthiercom.
- 10:00Michelle Gauthier: See you next week.