Latest / How Hard Can It Be? with Diana Maria Riva / Holly Robinson Peete: Never Ever Say Never... A Candid Conversation About Separate Beds, Being Critical, Autism & Midlife Joy

Transcript

Holly Robinson Peete: Never Ever Say Never... A Candid Conversation About Separate Beds, Being Critical, Autism & Midlife Joy · How Hard Can It Be? with Diana Maria Riva

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: We all have heroes, and some heroes come with curly hair,
• 0:03
  Speaker 1: and my next guest was my curly girl hero. Today's
• 0:06
  Speaker 1: episode is full of so much laughter and some refreshingly
• 0:09
  Speaker 1: blunt real talk. I can't wait for you to listen.
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: From protecting others from our feelings to the beauty of
• 0:16
  Speaker 1: separate beds, to life with autism, from never day to
• 0:20
  Speaker 1: I Love You Always and forever day.
• 0:22
  Speaker 2: So really, how hard can It Be?
• 0:30
  Speaker 1: Welcome to this episode of How Hard Can It Be?
• 0:32
  Speaker 1: A podcast about gen X women navigating midlife's most fantastic bullshit,
• 0:38
  Speaker 1: and I'm your host, Diana Maria Reva. I am so
• 0:40
  Speaker 1: excited about our guests today. We all fell in love
• 0:43
  Speaker 1: with her on twenty one Jump Street and hanging with
• 0:45
  Speaker 1: mister Cooper, and then I have the honor of calling
• 0:48
  Speaker 1: her girlfriend. It is miss Holly Robinson. Pee dude.
• 0:55
  Speaker 2: I've been waiting for this. I have been waiting for this.
• 0:58
  Speaker 2: This is so awesome.
• 0:59
  Speaker 1: Thank you for having me you. I have to tell
• 1:01
  Speaker 1: you how long I've been waiting for this. Here's the deal.
• 1:04
  Speaker 1: I was about thirteen when I was watching twenty one
• 1:09
  Speaker 1: Jump Street and it was back in Cincinnati, Ohio. First
• 1:13
  Speaker 1: generation Dominican and I'm watching this and I'm looking at
• 1:17
  Speaker 1: this beautiful woman that has hair like me. Ah, and
• 1:21
  Speaker 1: it was my first experience of representation. Really you Holly
• 1:27
  Speaker 1: Robinson at the time, Pete, And every time I've met
• 1:30
  Speaker 1: you at one of our mutual Friends events, I keep
• 1:33
  Speaker 1: forgetting to tell you this story of the impact that
• 1:36
  Speaker 1: you had. I was thirteen years old, and let me
• 1:38
  Speaker 1: tell you, I went through a rough time because it
• 1:40
  Speaker 1: was right before really Like Moose came out, so I
• 1:43
  Speaker 1: didn't understand what was happening with this, and nobody asked
• 1:47
  Speaker 1: my family had this hair, but Holly Robinson did on
• 1:50
  Speaker 1: twenty one Jump Shit, and I would watch. I'm like,
• 1:52
  Speaker 1: maybe then I can be on TV because she has
• 1:55
  Speaker 1: hair like me. I thought my hair would keep me
• 1:56
  Speaker 1: from being on TV.
• 1:57
  Speaker 2: Isn't that crazy? Yep? And the irony is that when
• 2:00
  Speaker 2: I was in Vancouver shooting that as a young twenty something,
• 2:05
  Speaker 2: the poor lady that was doing my hair had never
• 2:07
  Speaker 2: even met a black person alone do her hair. Well,
• 2:10
  Speaker 2: I'll tell you the stuff she was putting in my
• 2:12
  Speaker 2: hair was so wrong and it was like a big
• 2:15
  Speaker 2: old brown cotton candy. But it was the late eighties, Yes,
• 2:20
  Speaker 2: and it was like that was the thing. It was
• 2:22
  Speaker 2: big hair, so she just would tease it and tease it.
• 2:25
  Speaker 2: She took all the pretty curls out and just bless
• 2:29
  Speaker 2: her heart. But as we worked through it, and I
• 2:33
  Speaker 2: love hearing that because you know, at the time there
• 2:36
  Speaker 2: just there weren't a lot of young women of color
• 2:40
  Speaker 2: alone like girls with like big curly hair. So that
• 2:43
  Speaker 2: was that was a fun time, fun time to be
• 2:45
  Speaker 2: on TV.
• 2:46
  Speaker 1: And I it impacted me. It impacted me because it
• 2:51
  Speaker 1: helped me. It gave me another level of confidence to
• 2:54
  Speaker 1: go ahead and go forward, that my hair would not
• 2:56
  Speaker 1: stand in my way.
• 2:57
  Speaker 2: That's something. And here we are and look at us
• 3:00
  Speaker 2: and these curls, all these all these centuries later.
• 3:04
  Speaker 1: Yeah, exactly, look it fine. Speaking of centuries, this is
• 3:07
  Speaker 1: my icebreaker for the show. And I was going to
• 3:10
  Speaker 1: give you a heads up and I forgot, so I'm sorry.
• 3:12
  Speaker 1: Uh and that is your Oh shit, is this midlife moment?
• 3:17
  Speaker 2: She puts her coffee down and they had to go back.
• 3:22
  Speaker 2: Which one it could be little, it could be you know,
• 3:26
  Speaker 2: why don't we just start with like what's happening today,
• 3:30
  Speaker 2: Let's start with what's happening in the moment? Right now.
• 3:34
  Speaker 2: My husband and I we've been together for thirty plus years, yes,
• 3:39
  Speaker 2: and we love each other. We're good, yes, but we're
• 3:42
  Speaker 2: finally doing this separate bedroom thing. We're on day We're
• 3:47
  Speaker 2: on day eight or nine, and I love it. By
• 3:53
  Speaker 2: the way, I felt guilty about it because the bed
• 3:56
  Speaker 2: for twenty minutes and then I got over it real quick.
• 3:59
  Speaker 2: But I felt guilty because we had this really great
• 4:02
  Speaker 2: like bed, Like we went out and bought like the
• 4:05
  Speaker 2: Rolls Royce of beds.
• 4:06
  Speaker 1: Did you get that sleep eit like the Eva hasf
• 4:08
  Speaker 1: It's it's like it's like that.
• 4:10
  Speaker 2: It's not quite that expensive. Okay, it's a little notch
• 4:14
  Speaker 2: from Eva's bed, but I did go to Eva's and
• 4:16
  Speaker 2: like jump on it and see it. But no, this one.
• 4:20
  Speaker 2: It's comicals called like they're a gel or something like that.
• 4:23
  Speaker 1: Anyway, we need to get one of these bad companies
• 4:26
  Speaker 1: sponsor the show.
• 4:28
  Speaker 2: This bed is so great. I'll get you the real
• 4:30
  Speaker 2: name because I don't think that's it. But anyway, we
• 4:33
  Speaker 2: went and bought it because we realized, after like twenty
• 4:35
  Speaker 2: years of marriage, we still had the same damn bed,
• 4:38
  Speaker 2: Like how we're sleeping on the same guy damn bed.
• 4:40
  Speaker 2: That we were sleeping on, like.
• 4:42
  Speaker 1: Same mattress, the same bed, everything thing. It's gotta be worn, baby,
• 4:46
  Speaker 1: It was, it was, It didn't. It wasn't so uncomfortable
• 4:49
  Speaker 1: with just wake up. It's like that bra that you
• 4:51
  Speaker 1: wear over and over again and one day you look
• 4:53
  Speaker 1: at it, like the bra is so dusty. If I
• 4:55
  Speaker 1: don't go get another one.
• 4:56
  Speaker 2: We didn't even think about it, right, So we went
• 5:00
  Speaker 2: bed shopping, got this beautiful bed and we've been in
• 5:02
  Speaker 2: it for you know, a couple of years now.
• 5:04
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 5:04
  Speaker 2: So when we he was sick, I said, all right,
• 5:07
  Speaker 2: and I'm like, you got I gotta get up in
• 5:08
  Speaker 2: the morning. I can't get sick, so you need to go. Yeah,
• 5:12
  Speaker 2: go in our J's room because our oldest son moved out.
• 5:16
  Speaker 2: Now RJ has a similar bed. Okay, before he had that,
• 5:19
  Speaker 2: I would felt guilty about sending him over there, but
• 5:22
  Speaker 2: now he got a good bed in there, there's no excuse.
• 5:26
  Speaker 2: And then we got I got a Great Dane puppy.
• 5:31
  Speaker 2: I rescued a Great Dane nice. So because I lost
• 5:35
  Speaker 2: my doggie of seventeen years. I'm a big dog girl,
• 5:37
  Speaker 2: a big dog dog girl, like I like big dogs,
• 5:41
  Speaker 2: And so I said honey, I'm going to the shelter
• 5:44
  Speaker 2: and I'm gonna go get I gotta get back up
• 5:47
  Speaker 2: on that horse because this was too painful. Seventeen years old. Yeah, yeah,
• 5:51
  Speaker 2: I brought that dog home, right. He was like, you
• 5:53
  Speaker 2: said you won't get back up on the horse and
• 5:55
  Speaker 2: not bring home a god named horse. And Atlas Atlas,
• 6:01
  Speaker 2: Atlas our cineo Piete is when I tell you he
• 6:07
  Speaker 2: is the most codependent big dog if Scooby Doo and
• 6:11
  Speaker 2: Marvel Duke had a baby. So anyway, all this to
• 6:13
  Speaker 2: get to your question is Atlas has been sleeping on Rodney.
• 6:17
  Speaker 1: Side by the way, if you don't know, her husband
• 6:21
  Speaker 1: is Rodney Pete, NFL quarterback Rodney Pete, so big people
• 6:26
  Speaker 1: who take up space, and.
• 6:27
  Speaker 2: You replace him with the grand day ex quarterbacks who's
• 6:30
  Speaker 2: got achey kreaky bones and joints. So I was like,
• 6:33
  Speaker 2: I can't just put them on somebody, somebody old teenager bed.
• 6:36
  Speaker 2: I gotta give him a nice bet. So once that
• 6:38
  Speaker 2: bet swapped out, I saw my moment and so that
• 6:42
  Speaker 2: would be my you know, that would be my midlife
• 6:45
  Speaker 2: like where I was just like, oh, shoot, we're really
• 6:48
  Speaker 2: those those people. Now that is brilliant wake up. We
• 6:51
  Speaker 2: say good morning to each other, like Atlas wakes up
• 6:54
  Speaker 2: all but he doesn't good he doesn't wake up. He's
• 6:59
  Speaker 2: in a good Yeah, and we're only on day nine.
• 7:03
  Speaker 2: I'll let you know. I can't wait.
• 7:06
  Speaker 1: And and how does he feel about it?
• 7:08
  Speaker 2: He's not complaining because I think you get to a
• 7:12
  Speaker 2: point where you're like, he has his habits and I
• 7:15
  Speaker 2: have my habits. You know, he snores, I snore, you know,
• 7:19
  Speaker 2: we we we do things that are and I'm a
• 7:22
  Speaker 2: light sleeper. So if he even adjusts his body, I'm
• 7:26
  Speaker 2: up me too, so to have like Atlas sleeps like
• 7:29
  Speaker 2: a log. Okay, no snoring, no snoring. A couple a
• 7:35
  Speaker 2: couple of that he does, but he you know, so
• 7:40
  Speaker 2: there's no distractions. Yeah, and I can get a full
• 7:43
  Speaker 2: night sleep. And that is what we need right now. Yes,
• 7:46
  Speaker 2: we are both in our sixties. We need to sleep,
• 7:48
  Speaker 2: and we need to string together uninterrupted sleep and together
• 7:52
  Speaker 2: we can't seem to achieve that now.
• 7:55
  Speaker 1: Listen. Eva did the first episode and she talked great
• 8:00
  Speaker 1: about her secret in midlife is sleep and the way
• 8:04
  Speaker 1: she prioritizes it is it is like a skincare regimen.
• 8:08
  Speaker 1: But it's for sleep, and I know that so many
• 8:11
  Speaker 1: of us do not do ourselves struggling.
• 8:14
  Speaker 2: We're struggling, we're struggling, we're scrolling, We're watching our shows.
• 8:19
  Speaker 2: That's the one little moment that I kind of missed
• 8:21
  Speaker 2: with Rodney, because that's another midlife, midlife moment, is we
• 8:27
  Speaker 2: watch our shows.
• 8:28
  Speaker 1: You what's your go to for the two of you?
• 8:31
  Speaker 2: Well, I mean the sad thing is these shows only
• 8:33
  Speaker 2: do like six episodes. You're done with the season. Yeah,
• 8:36
  Speaker 2: I would take your number measure Number one is the pit. Okay,
• 8:40
  Speaker 2: because Rodney goes to pilates and his appointment is right
• 8:45
  Speaker 2: before Noel Wiley. This is a Hollywood moment. Pardon me,
• 8:49
  Speaker 2: why we break for the Hollywood moment? Only in Hollywood.
• 8:53
  Speaker 2: So we're in fact. Look, I've known Noah for years.
• 8:56
  Speaker 2: We used to work near each other on the Warner
• 8:58
  Speaker 2: Brothers a lot back in the day. I was on
• 8:59
  Speaker 2: Coop where he was on Er. So this show is
• 9:03
  Speaker 2: so good. Yeah, but we're extra invested because Rodney sees
• 9:09
  Speaker 2: Noah three times a week. I was like you, just like,
• 9:13
  Speaker 2: can you tell him get your girl apart? Yes, nurse. So,
• 9:18
  Speaker 2: so we're so invested in the Pit and so that's
• 9:22
  Speaker 2: our show, and we make a pack that we don't
• 9:25
  Speaker 2: cheat on each other.
• 9:27
  Speaker 1: And watch an episode, yes without each other.
• 9:30
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that's another midlife moment. Yes, when it's cheating watching
• 9:35
  Speaker 2: the shows, it's like really but that and we love Paradise.
• 9:41
  Speaker 2: That's another one we were really into. Sometimes he goes
• 9:45
  Speaker 2: to different shows that are like I'm not into. He
• 9:49
  Speaker 2: likes violent shows and I don't really do violent shows.
• 9:52
  Speaker 2: So he likes Peaky Blinders and stuff like that. He
• 9:55
  Speaker 2: likes all the British shows and the shoot them ups.
• 9:57
  Speaker 2: I can't do the sounds of like bullets and all that.
• 10:00
  Speaker 2: I can.
• 10:01
  Speaker 1: I have to say that that. I've told my daughter,
• 10:03
  Speaker 1: you know, like if she's playing something on her phone
• 10:05
  Speaker 1: and it's if it's a young person screaming I you know,
• 10:08
  Speaker 1: and it's usually some dumb YouTube video or something, you
• 10:10
  Speaker 1: know whatever, it's not even because they're in distress, they're
• 10:13
  Speaker 1: just like doing something dumb. I tell her I cannot
• 10:16
  Speaker 1: hear that. I cannot hear that sound because as a mother,
• 10:19
  Speaker 1: it just sets me on.
• 10:20
  Speaker 2: Anna, That's how I feel about euphoria. Because my daughter
• 10:22
  Speaker 2: wants to watch she wants to watch shows with me.
• 10:26
  Speaker 2: I can't watch young people in turmoil. Yes, exactly, I
• 10:29
  Speaker 2: cannot watch out of control young people in turmoil. It
• 10:32
  Speaker 2: triggers me. Yeh, I'm like, uh uh so because the
• 10:35
  Speaker 2: daughter and I are trying to find shows to watch together.
• 10:37
  Speaker 1: We're we're we're we're reduced to like American Idol because
• 10:42
  Speaker 1: we can't watch the same thing.
• 10:43
  Speaker 2: Well, we found watch for you. Oh you was fun
• 10:47
  Speaker 2: to watch with your Yeah, yeah, we we did that.
• 10:49
  Speaker 2: I did that with my with my son too. He
• 10:51
  Speaker 2: likes to watch you with me. We we we watched
• 10:55
  Speaker 2: a friend of ours is in this new movie Roommates.
• 10:59
  Speaker 2: So the Roommates is kind of Nepple Baby movie on
• 11:01
  Speaker 2: Netflix with Adam Sandler, Chris Rocks and what's the third
• 11:06
  Speaker 2: one Eddie Murphy's daughter. Okay, so we know one of
• 11:11
  Speaker 2: those girls, two of those girls, and we watched that
• 11:14
  Speaker 2: show together which was about like roommate from hell in
• 11:17
  Speaker 2: college and we both like could connect. So we found
• 11:21
  Speaker 2: a show for the two of us. But that is
• 11:24
  Speaker 2: all that is midlifey finding shows you can watch together.
• 11:28
  Speaker 2: It is you have to.
• 11:29
  Speaker 1: This is I was gonna ask you and you kind
• 11:31
  Speaker 1: of answered it. After you know, you have long marriage,
• 11:34
  Speaker 1: you have four children, and are you an empty nester
• 11:37
  Speaker 1: at this point?
• 11:38
  Speaker 2: On paper?
• 11:39
  Speaker 1: On paper?
• 11:40
  Speaker 2: Okay?
• 11:40
  Speaker 1: And so you have long career, big career, long marriage,
• 11:45
  Speaker 1: big marriage, A mother's job is never done. We're always
• 11:49
  Speaker 1: going and we're going to dive into that. What is
• 11:53
  Speaker 1: new in your life aside from sleeping that? What is
• 11:55
  Speaker 1: new for Holly.
• 11:58
  Speaker 2: New in terms of.
• 11:59
  Speaker 1: Just like what have you given yourself new in life?
• 12:02
  Speaker 1: Like what if have you given yourself anything new in life?
• 12:05
  Speaker 1: Because you've been in these systems, not systems, these methods
• 12:10
  Speaker 1: of thinking and methods of operation, the marriage, the children,
• 12:16
  Speaker 1: the career, long, long, long and substantial. What have you
• 12:20
  Speaker 1: done anything for you?
• 12:21
  Speaker 2: That's what's kind of holly centric. Yes, uh, this is
• 12:27
  Speaker 2: really embarrassing. No, you would not believe. Shopping on the
• 12:32
  Speaker 2: internet mostly like Instagram. Listen, can I tell you I'm
• 12:36
  Speaker 2: clicking like just like there's a box, there's another box.
• 12:41
  Speaker 2: And then one time I got something and he hasn't
• 12:44
  Speaker 2: opened my stuff, but he's always handing me a box
• 12:48
  Speaker 2: with kind of a judging face, not for he's just like,
• 12:54
  Speaker 2: why are you ordering so much stuff? And he's always
• 12:56
  Speaker 2: just junk, it's just random stuff like under my sink,
• 13:01
  Speaker 2: organizing under my sink. Everything is on top of each other,
• 13:05
  Speaker 2: just soap is. And I saw on social media organize
• 13:09
  Speaker 2: it all and I was like, I'm getting that, and
• 13:11
  Speaker 2: then it came and when I tell you you have
• 13:13
  Speaker 2: to have a PhD to put that thing together, the
• 13:17
  Speaker 2: nutbolt goes here and I'm like, yes, so I asked
• 13:20
  Speaker 2: him to put it together and that's not his sweet spot,
• 13:23
  Speaker 2: that's not his thing, and so it's just I think
• 13:27
  Speaker 2: it's just organ buying, buying stuff for myself, mostly like
• 13:31
  Speaker 2: self helpy fun stuff and self care things. My newest,
• 13:37
  Speaker 2: latest really fun gadget is my infrared mat.
• 13:44
  Speaker 1: Oh yes girl.
• 13:46
  Speaker 2: So I put it on my bed and I lay
• 13:49
  Speaker 2: mat mat. I have the mask too. The mat is
• 13:55
  Speaker 2: the who fule body. So I put it on the bed.
• 13:58
  Speaker 2: I lay on it, face up, face face up, okay.
• 14:03
  Speaker 2: And then if I'm really feeling like I want to
• 14:05
  Speaker 2: do something, I take the mask and put it on
• 14:08
  Speaker 2: as well, not just the face but the neck. Yes,
• 14:12
  Speaker 2: and that visual is hilarious. My daughter walked in was like,
• 14:18
  Speaker 2: what's happening. It's like yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So I
• 14:21
  Speaker 2: really like that because you can just lay on it
• 14:23
  Speaker 2: and get short of your infrared and I don't even
• 14:25
  Speaker 2: know Diana is helping. I was going to ask you,
• 14:27
  Speaker 2: do you feel like, what's that thing where it's not
• 14:30
  Speaker 2: really helping but you can. It feels very placebo.
• 14:35
  Speaker 1: I think the face one dies, but I'm not. I do,
• 14:38
  Speaker 1: but I'm also I use the mask. I don't think
• 14:40
  Speaker 1: I'm consistent enough because they say the other thing, you
• 14:42
  Speaker 1: got to do it every day you do.
• 14:45
  Speaker 2: To be part of your your ritual, your your your thing.
• 14:50
  Speaker 2: So that's been funny. But but the other day I
• 14:52
  Speaker 2: went to go get it and guess where it was.
• 14:55
  Speaker 1: If you tell me. Rodney was using it his.
• 15:00
  Speaker 2: Bed, So he stole in his room now right aka
• 15:05
  Speaker 2: RJ's old room, on his nice bed, And I was like,
• 15:10
  Speaker 2: I'm not mad if you actually use it every day? Right,
• 15:14
  Speaker 2: So yeah, so that I just think I've been getting things.
• 15:17
  Speaker 2: I'm always ordering things or buying things or thinking about
• 15:19
  Speaker 2: getting stuff for the kids in for Rodney. Yes, So
• 15:22
  Speaker 2: now it's just it's more about what do I want
• 15:26
  Speaker 2: to get for myself.
• 15:27
  Speaker 1: I love that, and I do. I will say I'm
• 15:29
  Speaker 1: a sucker for those like Instagram videos that show someone
• 15:34
  Speaker 1: who has organized and everything is yes, kick and I'm like,
• 15:38
  Speaker 1: I want all of those containers and it never looks
• 15:41
  Speaker 1: like So I go on Amazon and I buy all
• 15:44
  Speaker 1: thirty forty pieces that has organized their closets, their under
• 15:47
  Speaker 1: cabinets or this, that and the other. None of it
• 15:49
  Speaker 1: looks like it. I don't know how they do it.
• 15:51
  Speaker 2: No, And I'm a virgo, but I'm the messy kind
• 15:54
  Speaker 2: of virgo. I'm not the clackety clack virgo where I
• 15:57
  Speaker 2: put everything, line everything up. I'm the throw my c
• 16:00
  Speaker 2: on the floor type of virgo. And then I like
• 16:02
  Speaker 2: overanalyze everything. So I didn't get all the really good
• 16:05
  Speaker 2: vertical qualities that I should have gotten. But so now
• 16:10
  Speaker 2: I got to put together this thing under my sink
• 16:13
  Speaker 2: and then put everything organize it. So that's a whole
• 16:17
  Speaker 2: nother thing is because on those videos, it all just
• 16:20
  Speaker 2: falls into place and it all sounds good too. It's like, yeah,
• 16:24
  Speaker 2: they use all the little you know, the little sound effects,
• 16:26
  Speaker 2: and that's how they get you. That's how they get you.
• 16:29
  Speaker 2: And I'll tell you you're going to have to put
• 16:31
  Speaker 2: bolt bolt D into whole X and I'm like, oh
• 16:35
  Speaker 2: my god, this is all sitting there with extra pieces.
• 16:37
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I asked because I think that you know, I
• 16:51
  Speaker 1: know you understand this. We go through these many decades
• 16:54
  Speaker 1: of life and we've been doing the same thing for
• 16:56
  Speaker 1: the last thirty years. We get in a runner, we
• 16:58
  Speaker 1: get in a system, we get in a method of product.
• 17:00
  Speaker 1: Since that goes and I just wonder, how much do
• 17:03
  Speaker 1: you introduce in your life that's new for you. There's
• 17:08
  Speaker 1: things that can have come into the marriage, which is good.
• 17:10
  Speaker 1: There's things that can come into our dynamic with our children,
• 17:14
  Speaker 1: and and it's the whole like, do you stop and
• 17:16
  Speaker 1: focus on you? Are you good with self care?
• 17:19
  Speaker 2: I'm getting better. I'm getting a lot better. Ever since
• 17:22
  Speaker 2: the house is quieter and it's more about me, I'm
• 17:26
  Speaker 2: getting better. And and then I have to just let
• 17:29
  Speaker 2: him do his thing. Stop trying to take care of him, you.
• 17:32
  Speaker 1: Know what I mean.
• 17:33
  Speaker 2: You know, he's a former athlete. He's slowing down. There's
• 17:36
  Speaker 2: things that he needs to pay attention to in his diet.
• 17:39
  Speaker 2: And I don't want to be that wife that's always
• 17:42
  Speaker 2: behind him saying, you know, put down the kid cat
• 17:47
  Speaker 2: because he's he loves candy. But my husband loves old
• 17:51
  Speaker 2: timy candy like now latest Mike and Mike and I jawbreakers.
• 17:57
  Speaker 2: I'm do you even get these, go to a Recali's yeah,
• 18:02
  Speaker 2: jujubes and blow pops and you know, and he's so
• 18:07
  Speaker 2: he loves that and he goes and gets it, and
• 18:09
  Speaker 2: he like he stores it and hides it from me.
• 18:13
  Speaker 2: And I'm like, you are at a big age now
• 18:15
  Speaker 2: that you don't need to be. So he's he's he's
• 18:18
  Speaker 2: a lot, but I have to let that go. I'm like, yeah, listen,
• 18:21
  Speaker 2: if you want to deal with you know, whatever you
• 18:24
  Speaker 2: need to be dealing with it with this sugar, then
• 18:25
  Speaker 2: you go ahead and do that. Yeah. But so now
• 18:28
  Speaker 2: I'm really am focusing on more self care, getting products
• 18:31
  Speaker 2: for me. And then my favorite thing to do is
• 18:37
  Speaker 2: anything Japanese. Wow.
• 18:40
  Speaker 1: Okay, First I saw that you have a son that's
• 18:42
  Speaker 1: been living and working in Japan. Yeah for several years now,
• 18:46
  Speaker 1: four years, four years. So did that inspire you?
• 18:49
  Speaker 2: Yes? Okay, So anything Japanese makes me think of him.
• 18:53
  Speaker 2: I miss him terribly. He's my middle boy. He was
• 18:57
  Speaker 2: kind of obsessed with anime as a little boy, and
• 19:01
  Speaker 2: he used to beg me not to tell people because
• 19:02
  Speaker 2: back then everyone's into it now, but back then it
• 19:06
  Speaker 2: was kind of nerdy and geeky. And when his friends
• 19:08
  Speaker 2: will come over, told him I'm watching natal. I was like, okay, okay,
• 19:12
  Speaker 2: and now of course everybody's watching an accent. But anyway,
• 19:20
  Speaker 2: and then over the pandemic when we were all on
• 19:22
  Speaker 2: top of each other locked up. He was graduating from
• 19:26
  Speaker 2: high school and messed up his whole college trajectory. He
• 19:30
  Speaker 2: was an athlete, couldn't play baseball anymore because of the pandemic.
• 19:33
  Speaker 2: It was as bad. So he decided he was going
• 19:36
  Speaker 2: to really teach himself Japanese. He got a tutor from
• 19:39
  Speaker 2: Osaka that he did on zoom and he just absorbed it,
• 19:45
  Speaker 2: like he watched all of those animes in Japanese with
• 19:50
  Speaker 2: English subtitles, and I think it seeped into his frontal
• 19:53
  Speaker 2: lobe and by the time he started learning it, it
• 19:56
  Speaker 2: was like So he got his teacher from Osaka to
• 20:00
  Speaker 2: convince me to let him go to Japan to do
• 20:04
  Speaker 2: a language program in twenty twenty two, and he was
• 20:07
  Speaker 2: how oled nineteen okay, and the country was closed and
• 20:11
  Speaker 2: I was like, you can't go, you're too young. He's like,
• 20:13
  Speaker 2: what did you do when you were in nineteen I
• 20:14
  Speaker 2: was like, because I went to Paris my junior year
• 20:18
  Speaker 2: in Paris at nineteen. Yeah, he goes in. Mom, it's
• 20:20
  Speaker 2: different now, it's like you can find me, you, you
• 20:22
  Speaker 2: can FaceTime me, you can track me, like, don't worry.
• 20:26
  Speaker 2: And Japan's the safest place. So he went over there
• 20:28
  Speaker 2: and he's been there for four years. And now he's
• 20:31
  Speaker 2: at Temple University, Tokyo and he's in his third year
• 20:35
  Speaker 2: and he is so fluent, Diana, like his Japanese is
• 20:38
  Speaker 2: so good, and he's loving life. And he's like, Mom,
• 20:41
  Speaker 2: I I don't know if I'm going to come back.
• 20:44
  Speaker 2: So now anytime I see anything Japanese, any chance I
• 20:47
  Speaker 2: get to go to Tokyo. I am obsessed because it makes
• 20:51
  Speaker 2: me think of him. But what a.
• 20:53
  Speaker 1: Wonderful thing, beautiful thing to introduce into your life, something different,
• 20:59
  Speaker 1: something that obviously has a soulful connection for you, but
• 21:02
  Speaker 1: it's also expanding your mind and your brain and just
• 21:05
  Speaker 1: shaking things up a bit and bringing something some adventure
• 21:08
  Speaker 1: in your life as well.
• 21:10
  Speaker 2: It is and even though most of it is on
• 21:12
  Speaker 2: social media, like I'm you know, my algorithm is just
• 21:16
  Speaker 2: all cherry blossoms. It's crazy. Yeah, I am like it
• 21:21
  Speaker 2: has identified me as a Japanese mom, like obsessed with
• 21:26
  Speaker 2: Japanese mother, and it is, but it's my thing. It's
• 21:31
  Speaker 2: my happy place. And when I go to Japan and
• 21:34
  Speaker 2: I just go by myself, like not with the whole family,
• 21:36
  Speaker 2: and just him. He takes me to bars on these
• 21:39
  Speaker 2: little side streets and he's like freaking norm from Cheers
• 21:42
  Speaker 2: over there, and they're like, how all these Japanese people
• 21:50
  Speaker 2: know you. I mean, there's not a lot of like
• 21:52
  Speaker 2: black twenty three year old men American men run around there.
• 21:57
  Speaker 2: And he is so in the culture's how he's just so,
• 22:02
  Speaker 2: he so said. His whole energy is shit. He was
• 22:06
  Speaker 2: a punky, just sniveling. He wouldn't mind if I said
• 22:12
  Speaker 2: all this, I need more adjectives. Sad like he was
• 22:18
  Speaker 2: twenty twenty. Messed him up and he was sad. He
• 22:23
  Speaker 2: was in his room. He didn't want to come out.
• 22:25
  Speaker 2: He never smiled as these big dimples. I didn't see
• 22:27
  Speaker 2: him for two years. I said, can I see you
• 22:29
  Speaker 2: dimples again? He wouldn't smile, like his life was over.
• 22:33
  Speaker 2: And so Japan just gave him life again. And so
• 22:36
  Speaker 2: the blessing that he was able to go and then
• 22:38
  Speaker 2: stay and then go to school. And then but when
• 22:41
  Speaker 2: I go with him, we got these little whiskey bar.
• 22:42
  Speaker 2: I don't even like whiskey. We go these whiskey bars
• 22:45
  Speaker 2: and we're in there just like throwing it back and
• 22:47
  Speaker 2: they're like, and I you know, I'm on my dueling
• 22:50
  Speaker 2: go trying to get my Japanese together. And when I'm
• 22:53
  Speaker 2: trying to say, I know, the word for mother is
• 22:56
  Speaker 2: oksan uh huh. And so I know if I'm walking
• 23:00
  Speaker 2: into the bar and they're all excited to see me, right,
• 23:03
  Speaker 2: And then Robinson is very he don't want nobody to
• 23:07
  Speaker 2: know his daddy play football, his mom is on TV.
• 23:09
  Speaker 2: He's that guy that's like, I don't want to be
• 23:12
  Speaker 2: a nepple baby. I need to get this on my
• 23:15
  Speaker 2: own or whatever. Right, But they found out, so they're like,
• 23:19
  Speaker 2: they're like, oh, oh, Gussan. So how you walk into
• 23:23
  Speaker 2: the say I'm the mom, You say, Sands, you can't, right.
• 23:28
  Speaker 2: So when I tell you, I run around there, ok
• 23:31
  Speaker 2: dessin every Robins is like, mom, we gotta teach you
• 23:37
  Speaker 2: some more Japanese. You just can't, okay, Sudan come proud, Yes,
• 23:45
  Speaker 2: I'm so proud. I can't tell you. And when I
• 23:48
  Speaker 2: watch him speak Japanese and I watch the Japanese people
• 23:52
  Speaker 2: watch him speak Japanese. It is my favorite thing of doing.
• 23:56
  Speaker 2: You know, I'm always trying to pull my phone out, mom,
• 24:00
  Speaker 2: because that's very rude to do in Japan. Okay, got
• 24:02
  Speaker 2: to put your phone away. I get it. I'm like,
• 24:08
  Speaker 2: but it is just it gives me life, Diana, just
• 24:11
  Speaker 2: the whole. And he told me this morning, he's like,
• 24:15
  Speaker 2: you know, he just joined like a club over there,
• 24:17
  Speaker 2: like joined the soul House. Okay, it just opened. Yeah,
• 24:21
  Speaker 2: And he's like a founding member. And he's all excited
• 24:24
  Speaker 2: because of Mom, the connections I'm making, the people I'm meeting,
• 24:27
  Speaker 2: I'll know if I'm coming back. Oh my gosh. I'm like, guess,
• 24:29
  Speaker 2: all right, honey, give me something to do and somewhere
• 24:31
  Speaker 2: to go, somewhere to go.
• 24:33
  Speaker 1: How you know, when you see your children come around
• 24:37
  Speaker 1: to discoveries like this, you must give credit to yourself,
• 24:43
  Speaker 1: don't you. If we get I always say, if we
• 24:45
  Speaker 1: get blamed for kids turning out like pieces of shit,
• 24:47
  Speaker 1: then we have to get credit for them turning out.
• 24:50
  Speaker 2: Damn right, Like, what what are we talking about here?
• 24:53
  Speaker 2: And that's the one thing that I don't do. I
• 24:56
  Speaker 2: don't pat myself on the back because I'm so I
• 24:59
  Speaker 2: guess I'm nervous about like claiming credit because I just
• 25:03
  Speaker 2: want everything to go right, you know what I mean.
• 25:06
  Speaker 2: But he's not over there. If it's not for me
• 25:09
  Speaker 2: and Rodney and us giving him that opportunity, that's right,
• 25:12
  Speaker 2: he's not you know, he's not. He We did do
• 25:16
  Speaker 2: that for him. But once he's there, the way he's
• 25:20
  Speaker 2: embraced it, the way he hangs out with all Japanese people,
• 25:24
  Speaker 2: the way he absorbs and honors the culture, it's so
• 25:29
  Speaker 2: fun to see him do that. And that's all him. Yeah,
• 25:32
  Speaker 2: because you could send your kids to Japan and they're
• 25:34
  Speaker 2: not always gonna, you know, do not always gonna make
• 25:37
  Speaker 2: you proud. But he is somebody that I'm so proud of.
• 25:42
  Speaker 2: So yes, I'm gonna pat myself on the back and
• 25:45
  Speaker 2: get and give myself my flowers. But at the end
• 25:48
  Speaker 2: of the day, like he's just delivering, and you.
• 25:51
  Speaker 1: Set them up, we should. What we pat ourselves on
• 25:54
  Speaker 1: the back is that we set them up for launch, right,
• 25:57
  Speaker 1: and in what they do while they're sailing is on them.
• 26:00
  Speaker 2: That's right.
• 26:01
  Speaker 1: Their flight path from there will be on them. But
• 26:04
  Speaker 1: you set them up for beauty.
• 26:05
  Speaker 2: Much you give him the and you know what the
• 26:07
  Speaker 2: other thing is like sometimes we set them up and
• 26:09
  Speaker 2: they you know, he hit a crash landing. Yeah, you know,
• 26:13
  Speaker 2: they don't. They don't jump in and find all the
• 26:16
  Speaker 2: things they need to do and find the elements to
• 26:19
  Speaker 2: expand upon that. And I've seen that happen with some
• 26:21
  Speaker 2: of my friends. So that's the part that I'm just
• 26:23
  Speaker 2: like quiet about, like so thankful for you know that
• 26:28
  Speaker 2: you got through the door. And when I'm in Japan
• 26:32
  Speaker 2: and people say to me your son like Japanese, people
• 26:34
  Speaker 2: will be like, not only does he speak the language
• 26:37
  Speaker 2: so well, but he understands the culture. I guess there's
• 26:40
  Speaker 2: like two types of Japanese. There's the proper when you're
• 26:44
  Speaker 2: talking to and then when that street Japanese. And apparently
• 26:47
  Speaker 2: he can do both and he knows who to speak
• 26:50
  Speaker 2: properly to and who doesn't. So we're sitting with some
• 26:53
  Speaker 2: friends and there's the mother and there's the kid that's
• 26:55
  Speaker 2: his age, and he just seamlessly goes back and forth.
• 26:59
  Speaker 2: And she told me that, like, your son is not
• 27:01
  Speaker 2: only gifted, but he he understands and and he was.
• 27:05
  Speaker 2: And then when I said to him, he's like, oh,
• 27:07
  Speaker 2: I've been here four years. I'm like a lot of
• 27:08
  Speaker 2: people can be here for years and not do that. Yes,
• 27:12
  Speaker 2: So anyway, that's my that's my sweet spot. And by
• 27:17
  Speaker 2: the way, he keeps sending me listings because apparently they're
• 27:19
  Speaker 2: having like quite the crisis over there as far as
• 27:24
  Speaker 2: like people are not having kids and then and there's
• 27:26
  Speaker 2: a lot of empty houses and kind of state in
• 27:30
  Speaker 2: the in the suburbs because all people are moving to Tokyo. Anyway,
• 27:34
  Speaker 2: he sends me listings, and I have my little fantasy
• 27:36
  Speaker 2: that I'm gonna have. Okay, I love you have at Airbnb.
• 27:39
  Speaker 1: You should.
• 27:40
  Speaker 2: This is called be called Sands. She's got it all
• 27:47
  Speaker 2: figured out.
• 27:58
  Speaker 1: Anyone who knows or follow has followed your career in
• 28:01
  Speaker 1: life knows that you you have four beautiful children, one
• 28:04
  Speaker 1: of them being r J, who was born with autism
• 28:07
  Speaker 1: and his life inspired you and Rodney to really be
• 28:14
  Speaker 1: beautiful vocal advocates of Parkinson's and autism and the families
• 28:21
  Speaker 1: living with it and launched the Holly rod Foundation. And
• 28:26
  Speaker 1: you talk a lot about how well you started. You
• 28:30
  Speaker 1: started with a story that I've seen many times but
• 28:33
  Speaker 1: circulating about the day you got the diagnosis. Talk about
• 28:38
  Speaker 1: not knowing where your children are going to be in
• 28:39
  Speaker 1: thirty years and how that's going to impact your life
• 28:43
  Speaker 1: as in midlife. Can you share that story?
• 28:47
  Speaker 2: Okay, now you're gonna make me cry. I'm telling you emotionally.
• 28:51
  Speaker 2: When I think about we joked about the situation with
• 28:54
  Speaker 2: my son in Japan, but we have these same conversations.
• 28:59
  Speaker 2: Can you imagine when RJ was diagnosed, it was I
• 29:05
  Speaker 2: don't like to say that it was such a sad
• 29:07
  Speaker 2: day because there are other people out there getting the
• 29:09
  Speaker 2: diagnosis right now, and I don't want you to be sad.
• 29:12
  Speaker 2: You have to allow yourself to feel the disappointment that
• 29:16
  Speaker 2: this is not what you thought your kid was gonna
• 29:18
  Speaker 2: deal with her and when you imagine having a child.
• 29:21
  Speaker 2: But it was so tough, and I want people to
• 29:25
  Speaker 2: understand that people are going to try to pigeonhole your
• 29:30
  Speaker 2: life and say you'll never have these moments, and that
• 29:34
  Speaker 2: never day, which I talk about a lot, is was
• 29:38
  Speaker 2: so I felt so just hog tied by it and
• 29:44
  Speaker 2: the moment. So when I fast forward all these years
• 29:48
  Speaker 2: later and that was he was diagnosed in two thousand
• 29:51
  Speaker 2: and here we are twenty twenty six, and it's because
• 29:55
  Speaker 2: he was diagnosed on that, you know, on that two thousand.
• 29:57
  Speaker 2: It's so easy to really track how many days, how
• 30:00
  Speaker 2: many years it's been. It just it just blows my mind.
• 30:05
  Speaker 2: And I'm always trying to tell people that if you're
• 30:07
  Speaker 2: getting this diagnosis today that please do not let someone
• 30:11
  Speaker 2: ever tell you what your child is going to be.
• 30:13
  Speaker 2: Do not ever let your child's future be, you know,
• 30:19
  Speaker 2: defined by some That's right, anybody, Let alone this bitch
• 30:25
  Speaker 2: that I'm still mad at. Oh, that's the first time
• 30:28
  Speaker 2: I've said that. That feels so good. That's I hate
• 30:31
  Speaker 2: this lady. Okay, I'm sorry, because I am. I'm Holly
• 30:35
  Speaker 2: Robinson Pete, and I have a lot of, like I'm
• 30:38
  Speaker 2: a type a personality. But if you had sat down
• 30:42
  Speaker 2: and had that never speech with a single mom who
• 30:45
  Speaker 2: didn't have the resources that I had, who didn't have
• 30:48
  Speaker 2: the sort of like, you know, team and support that
• 30:53
  Speaker 2: I have, you would have ruined her life and her
• 30:57
  Speaker 2: son would never have had the potential or be able
• 30:59
  Speaker 2: to go out and do things that she said that
• 31:03
  Speaker 2: he would never do. Do you know what I'm saying? Yes,
• 31:05
  Speaker 2: So I look at it from that perspective, and I
• 31:07
  Speaker 2: was so mad at her. She's a developmental pediatrician. I've
• 31:11
  Speaker 2: never said her name. I'm not going to. But she
• 31:15
  Speaker 2: sat down and read off a list. He will never
• 31:19
  Speaker 2: do any of these things, and they will. She didn't
• 31:22
  Speaker 2: say he might.
• 31:23
  Speaker 1: Never never, she said he will never. They were some
• 31:26
  Speaker 1: simple things like say I love you.
• 31:28
  Speaker 2: Say I love you, have friends mainstream and school. And
• 31:33
  Speaker 2: that's why when when the Secretary of Health and Human
• 31:38
  Speaker 2: Services came out and said basically everything she said and
• 31:42
  Speaker 2: never paid tax I'm not going to imitate him. That's
• 31:45
  Speaker 2: not that's not cool. They'll never pay taxes. They'll never
• 31:49
  Speaker 2: pee on their own, they'll never have, you know, be
• 31:51
  Speaker 2: toilet trained. They'll never When he listed that, when I
• 31:54
  Speaker 2: tell you the trigger that went off in me, I
• 31:57
  Speaker 2: was like, not the never day in front of the world.
• 32:01
  Speaker 2: So I get upset when I think about how that
• 32:04
  Speaker 2: message is delivered. And I had a chance, a really
• 32:08
  Speaker 2: awesome chance to play and voice a pediatrician that delivers
• 32:16
  Speaker 2: the diagnosis on a cartoon called Proud Family Doctor Lord Doctor. Yes,
• 32:24
  Speaker 2: when I tell you, that was the most cathartic thing
• 32:27
  Speaker 2: I've ever done in my life because I was able
• 32:30
  Speaker 2: to reimagine that diagnosis and give this family a chance
• 32:36
  Speaker 2: to hear what I wanted to hear back in two thousand,
• 32:40
  Speaker 2: because that lady tried to steal our joy. And I
• 32:45
  Speaker 2: don't know that she was trying to that she was,
• 32:47
  Speaker 2: but I'm sure she was like waiting for the next
• 32:49
  Speaker 2: client coming in. And that gave me the opportunity for
• 32:56
  Speaker 2: if someone's getting that diagnosis today, to hear it in
• 32:58
  Speaker 2: a way that it should be delivered.
• 33:00
  Speaker 1: And that's the thing. It's I'm glad you said what
• 33:04
  Speaker 1: you said, because you're right. There are many other people
• 33:07
  Speaker 1: who will be sitting in your in your same seat,
• 33:10
  Speaker 1: receive those same words, but not have the team, the ability,
• 33:15
  Speaker 1: or the life experience to know that. I'm not going
• 33:18
  Speaker 1: to take that as and I wrote it down here.
• 33:20
  Speaker 1: Do not let anyone ever define your child's future, and
• 33:24
  Speaker 1: and and and and how much it has not been
• 33:28
  Speaker 1: that has not been the outcome. RJ has been working
• 33:32
  Speaker 1: for the Dodgers for ten years. He's a club managerhouse
• 33:37
  Speaker 1: attend clubhouse attendant. He is beloved, he is respected, he
• 33:42
  Speaker 1: has friends all around. They depend on him. He has
• 33:46
  Speaker 1: responsibilities that He's handsome as can be.
• 33:50
  Speaker 2: He's just kind of cute.
• 33:51
  Speaker 1: He's real cool.
• 33:52
  Speaker 2: But he doesn't even know how cute he is. That's
• 33:54
  Speaker 2: what makes him such a worker bee and he's just
• 33:56
  Speaker 2: so focused on getting the job done. But that job
• 34:00
  Speaker 2: changed the trajectory of his life. So even though yes
• 34:06
  Speaker 2: he got a mama, we got juice. In this town,
• 34:09
  Speaker 2: we know people. He again, he has to be the
• 34:12
  Speaker 2: one to walk in that clubhouse and deliver.
• 34:15
  Speaker 1: Yes, at the end of the day, you launched him.
• 34:18
  Speaker 1: And then that flight path which is in the clubhouse,
• 34:21
  Speaker 1: he and had to do. He had to make his decisions.
• 34:24
  Speaker 2: And those guys, those players, and so we've seen them
• 34:31
  Speaker 2: speak on him and you know them say he's an
• 34:33
  Speaker 2: amazing human being, and how they respond to just hearing
• 34:36
  Speaker 2: his name. But I got the the after dark or
• 34:42
  Speaker 2: behind what I want to say, trying to say, not
• 34:44
  Speaker 2: the behind the scenes, but like Dodgers after dark videos. Okay,
• 34:50
  Speaker 2: So in the clubhouse, one of his one of his bosses,
• 34:54
  Speaker 2: likes to like bust his balls for lack of a
• 34:58
  Speaker 2: better term, and so like the players will joke with
• 35:01
  Speaker 2: him about you didn't get me my energy drink on time, RJ,
• 35:06
  Speaker 2: You're fired. Oh my god. Now early on, when he's
• 35:09
  Speaker 2: ten years in now, but early on he just did
• 35:12
  Speaker 2: not know his autistic brain did not understand sarcasm, so
• 35:18
  Speaker 2: he would have to call me on the side and go, Mom,
• 35:20
  Speaker 2: is this sarcasm or am I really getting fired? Oh?
• 35:22
  Speaker 2: They would joke that they're sending him down to the
• 35:25
  Speaker 2: Dominican to be in the triple A lead. They would
• 35:28
  Speaker 2: just messed with him, and he now understands that that's
• 35:32
  Speaker 2: their love language. That's how they show love, and that's
• 35:37
  Speaker 2: a locker room, right, you gotta have really thick skin.
• 35:41
  Speaker 2: So so, but I loved watching those videos because they
• 35:45
  Speaker 2: sent me one the other day where it was like, RJ,
• 35:47
  Speaker 2: you were supposed to get me your a shock at
• 35:48
  Speaker 2: six forty five, you know how, like absolutely, what's the
• 35:52
  Speaker 2: word superstitious? These players are right, and so they're super like,
• 35:58
  Speaker 2: get me this, I wear my socks here, make sure
• 36:02
  Speaker 2: this is in my locker. And r J has that
• 36:04
  Speaker 2: kind of brain where he knows what every player, he
• 36:07
  Speaker 2: knows every player's birthday, he knows where every player is born,
• 36:10
  Speaker 2: he knows.
• 36:10
  Speaker 1: He has that the stats.
• 36:12
  Speaker 2: So they know this and they do depend on him,
• 36:16
  Speaker 2: rely on him. But when I think about like the journey,
• 36:19
  Speaker 2: if you told me when he was three and I
• 36:20
  Speaker 2: were sitting there getting that diagnosis and he'll never get this, never, never,
• 36:24
  Speaker 2: never to look up and him have his name on
• 36:28
  Speaker 2: three World Series rings.
• 36:32
  Speaker 1: They've given him three. What they they've shared in that
• 36:35
  Speaker 1: success with him. Yeah, that's that. I've seen the videos
• 36:37
  Speaker 1: of that where they give him they present him with
• 36:40
  Speaker 1: the World Series ring.
• 36:42
  Speaker 2: Is I don't even know how. I can't even know.
• 36:44
  Speaker 2: I can't look And he earned it. He earned it.
• 36:48
  Speaker 2: He works very very hard.
• 36:50
  Speaker 1: Yes, he works very hard.
• 36:51
  Speaker 2: His you know, clubhouse attendant doesn't just do laundry and stuff.
• 36:55
  Speaker 2: It's it's there's so much that goes into it. When
• 37:00
  Speaker 2: they come back from road trips, he's out there unpacking
• 37:02
  Speaker 2: it too in the morning. Like it's a hard job
• 37:06
  Speaker 2: and it's much harder than people think. And he sometimes
• 37:09
  Speaker 2: goes through and he masks. Okay, So when you have
• 37:12
  Speaker 2: autism and he's working, he has to mask all day
• 37:15
  Speaker 2: and then when he goes home he has to kind
• 37:18
  Speaker 2: of get right and regulate his body. Usually he jumps
• 37:21
  Speaker 2: on a trampoline, which he's been doing since he was three.
• 37:24
  Speaker 2: That regulates his body, it really does. It's just gets
• 37:27
  Speaker 2: some out of sensory overload. And even at twenty eight,
• 37:30
  Speaker 2: he still experiences that so to be able to regulate
• 37:34
  Speaker 2: his body and to understand how to do that. Like
• 37:37
  Speaker 2: if you had told me when he's three that you
• 37:38
  Speaker 2: know how to do that himself without his mommy, I
• 37:42
  Speaker 2: would have been like, no way, he'll ever be able
• 37:44
  Speaker 2: to do this.
• 37:45
  Speaker 1: This is the beauty of what your life trajectory has become,
• 37:49
  Speaker 1: what you extracted out of it, and what you are
• 37:52
  Speaker 1: giving to others, much like what you extracted out of
• 37:56
  Speaker 1: Robinson's decisions and his life trajectory in Japan and what
• 38:00
  Speaker 1: you brought uh to it. My daughter, this is not
• 38:04
  Speaker 1: on the same level my daughter. I remember I was.
• 38:07
  Speaker 1: I was in Puerto Rico and it was day two
• 38:08
  Speaker 1: of filming and it was the first time I had
• 38:10
  Speaker 1: gone out of town to film in like ten years
• 38:12
  Speaker 1: because I was a single parent. And my daughter called
• 38:15
  Speaker 1: me and it was she had her first meeting with
• 38:17
  Speaker 1: her college counselor and high school about where she was
• 38:19
  Speaker 1: gonna go. She'd messed around a little bit in high school.
• 38:21
  Speaker 1: Her grades weren't great, and the college counselor was new,
• 38:24
  Speaker 1: and he said to her, you should probably just aim
• 38:26
  Speaker 1: for community college. Oh, there's nothing wrong with community college.
• 38:29
  Speaker 1: But the fact that he was lowering the bar and
• 38:32
  Speaker 1: defining her future for her yep, and I said, let
• 38:36
  Speaker 1: me tell you something, woo you. Papitha left a dictatorship
• 38:40
  Speaker 1: with the whole family and taught himself English on a
• 38:43
  Speaker 1: vitrola and ended up going through med school and learning
• 38:47
  Speaker 1: everything in English, becoming a doctor. You are, Ariva, where
• 38:51
  Speaker 1: are your feet?
• 38:52
  Speaker 2: And she's and he didn't do all that, So this
• 38:54
  Speaker 2: man could tell you you're going You're not gonna go to
• 38:56
  Speaker 2: the bar?
• 38:57
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yes, right exactly. And I said, so I have
• 39:00
  Speaker 1: this thing going with her, and I'm like, where you're
• 39:01
  Speaker 1: a reva, where are your feet? They're rooted in resilience, Sophie.
• 39:05
  Speaker 1: She's like, they're on my She's like, they're on the
• 39:07
  Speaker 1: ends of my legs. I'm like, Sophie, the chant goes,
• 39:09
  Speaker 1: where are your feet? And then you say rooted in resilience.
• 39:12
  Speaker 2: Yeah, come on, come on, Sophie, right, I'm laying I'm
• 39:16
  Speaker 2: laying you up. You gotta feeling up. But that that
• 39:18
  Speaker 2: is so true.
• 39:19
  Speaker 1: And by the way, but she's pre mad. Now see
• 39:21
  Speaker 1: get out right. I don't even recognize this.
• 39:24
  Speaker 2: I remember when my daughter, our j's twin sister, was
• 39:27
  Speaker 2: applying to NYU. That was her dream school, and the
• 39:31
  Speaker 2: college counselor told her it was a reach school for
• 39:34
  Speaker 2: her already already saying that's a reach with your whatever
• 39:40
  Speaker 2: your grades, and that's a reach. So I was mad
• 39:42
  Speaker 2: about that. So that's it. We have to constantly slay
• 39:47
  Speaker 2: the dragons that are trying to bring our kids down
• 39:51
  Speaker 2: and tell them what they cannot do, and that it's
• 39:53
  Speaker 2: it's it takes a lot of energy out of us
• 39:55
  Speaker 2: as mom to constantly be that cheerleader and say no, no, no, no.
• 39:59
  Speaker 2: What you not gonna do is tell my daughter or
• 40:01
  Speaker 2: my son or any or my kid what they will
• 40:04
  Speaker 2: not be in ten, fifteen, twenty years what yes, Like
• 40:07
  Speaker 2: that is just absurd. So that that is something that
• 40:12
  Speaker 2: as a parent is probably one of the hardest things
• 40:14
  Speaker 2: to do, is be that cheerleader because what you also
• 40:17
  Speaker 2: don't want to do is set expectations too high, because
• 40:20
  Speaker 2: you know, like some of our kids maybe thinking about
• 40:24
  Speaker 2: they want to do something. You want to give them
• 40:26
  Speaker 2: that path, but you want to also be realistic. You do.
• 40:28
  Speaker 2: I'm gonna be honest bit realistic about certain things. And
• 40:33
  Speaker 2: I have been told that I can be a little
• 40:36
  Speaker 2: like a little gangster mama about it sometimes, do you
• 40:40
  Speaker 2: know what I mean? Like a little two blunt I'm
• 40:44
  Speaker 2: working on.
• 40:44
  Speaker 1: It's okay, listen, we're wherever, we're evolving creatures.
• 40:49
  Speaker 2: I'm still working on that. They're all out of the house.
• 40:51
  Speaker 2: The baby's twenty one, and I'm still working on just
• 40:55
  Speaker 2: maybe not being so critical. I'm a critical analytical and
• 41:01
  Speaker 2: how do I stop picking and being critical? And so
• 41:04
  Speaker 2: I'm still working on that, even though our body's already
• 41:09
  Speaker 2: gone and the work is already done. But they understand me,
• 41:13
  Speaker 2: and they they laugh about it. We do it with
• 41:16
  Speaker 2: humor because they laugh about Oh, okay, virgo mom. Like
• 41:19
  Speaker 2: my daughter's always doing that. She goes, you know what,
• 41:22
  Speaker 2: And like one day she came in her hair with something.
• 41:24
  Speaker 2: I was like fixing it. She goes, you know, this
• 41:25
  Speaker 2: is the virgo mam. I like, because you're not gonna
• 41:27
  Speaker 2: let me leave the house looking crazy.
• 41:29
  Speaker 1: See.
• 41:29
  Speaker 2: But the other one, Yeah, we need to hide her.
• 41:33
  Speaker 1: You're welcome, don't you think?
• 41:35
  Speaker 2: Though?
• 41:36
  Speaker 1: So in all of this though, and isn't there a
• 41:41
  Speaker 1: certain amount of weight and more will be revealed. We
• 41:47
  Speaker 1: do have to they have to go. There is a
• 41:50
  Speaker 1: certain amount of detachment that we start to experience now
• 41:53
  Speaker 1: in the fact that they're young adults, they're on their
• 41:56
  Speaker 1: trajectories and it's about now mapping out what this chapter
• 42:00
  Speaker 1: is for you. RJ. RJ and his life, you know it.
• 42:06
  Speaker 1: What will it be for you in this chapter of
• 42:09
  Speaker 1: your life? How do you still maintain holly and sense
• 42:12
  Speaker 1: of self?
• 42:13
  Speaker 2: Well? And RJ is set, Okay, I don't think he
• 42:15
  Speaker 2: will ever not work for the Dodgers. There's no turnover
• 42:20
  Speaker 2: over there in that clubhouse.
• 42:21
  Speaker 1: I love that.
• 42:22
  Speaker 2: I mean, he's got the least seniority and he's starting
• 42:25
  Speaker 2: his eleventh season. The rest of those guys been there
• 42:28
  Speaker 2: twenty years, thirty years, so there's no turnover. So he's
• 42:31
  Speaker 2: going to be there and going to continue to be
• 42:34
  Speaker 2: on that team and going to continue to be loved
• 42:37
  Speaker 2: and supported. And I feel like he said. And then
• 42:39
  Speaker 2: my Japanese son is you know, he's like finding his
• 42:42
  Speaker 2: whole life over there. RJ's twin sister is still kind
• 42:45
  Speaker 2: of figuring her like I thought. She's a singer songwriter,
• 42:49
  Speaker 2: figuring her trajectory and she's a very creative being and
• 42:54
  Speaker 2: her I'm always telling her that you know your journey,
• 42:57
  Speaker 2: your path is different. All our paths are different. Yeah,
• 43:01
  Speaker 2: and then the baby is, you know, got one more
• 43:03
  Speaker 2: year of college. We'll see what he does, you know,
• 43:07
  Speaker 2: So they're all kind of launched. Yes, you know, I'm
• 43:10
  Speaker 2: another thing I'm obsessed with. And I think you could
• 43:12
  Speaker 2: put this in the midlife category. Why do I watch
• 43:17
  Speaker 2: these little eagles nests? I have an eagle's nest cam
• 43:20
  Speaker 2: that is on all the time, and I'm watching these eagles,
• 43:24
  Speaker 2: Jackie and Shadow. Shout out to Jackie and Shadow, big Bear,
• 43:27
  Speaker 2: big Bear Lake. And I've been watching them for about
• 43:32
  Speaker 2: four years now. I've seen all their eggs, hatch. I've
• 43:35
  Speaker 2: seen them leave the eaglets, leave the nest. And by
• 43:39
  Speaker 2: the way, when they leave the nest, they don't come back.
• 43:42
  Speaker 2: They never see them again. All this sitting through snowstorms
• 43:46
  Speaker 2: on these eggs. And so my husband's like, there's something
• 43:50
  Speaker 2: wrong with you, like that you are watching this all
• 43:53
  Speaker 2: the time. And sometimes I'll just put it on and
• 43:55
  Speaker 2: I'll forget it's on, and then you know, you'll hear
• 43:57
  Speaker 2: this squawking and stuff, and it's like at List, the
• 44:01
  Speaker 2: you know, the the nervous German shepherd, I mean, sorry,
• 44:05
  Speaker 2: not German shepherd, sorry, wrong, big dog at List, the nervous.
• 44:08
  Speaker 2: Great Dane will like freak out hearing, right. But I
• 44:13
  Speaker 2: watched them and it isn't a sort of an analogy
• 44:16
  Speaker 2: for where I am in my life. You know. The
• 44:19
  Speaker 2: difference is they mate for life, not to say that
• 44:23
  Speaker 2: we we won't, but the difference is they make for
• 44:25
  Speaker 2: life and they keep having these babies and then they
• 44:28
  Speaker 2: launch them, which is something obviously we can't physically do.
• 44:32
  Speaker 2: But watching them nurture and sit on this nest and
• 44:36
  Speaker 2: there's snowstorms and they'll sit there in the snow. And
• 44:40
  Speaker 2: then I had to watch it hawk come through and
• 44:44
  Speaker 2: take some of those eggs. That was traumatizing.
• 44:46
  Speaker 1: God.
• 44:46
  Speaker 2: I'm like, that's why I had to quit the eagles
• 44:48
  Speaker 2: for a minute, because because that that that that that
• 44:51
  Speaker 2: that that fucked me up as the bottom line. But anyway,
• 44:56
  Speaker 2: you know, and seeing how much you put into these
• 45:00
  Speaker 2: these baby birds and then just all so they can launch,
• 45:05
  Speaker 2: and then everybody's launch is different. For these birds, you
• 45:10
  Speaker 2: got to jump out and fly. There's no it's only
• 45:13
  Speaker 2: one way down. Either you go and flap those wings
• 45:16
  Speaker 2: or you're not. So I'm kind of obsessed with the
• 45:19
  Speaker 2: different types of the ways that these four adults are
• 45:23
  Speaker 2: figuring life out and I want to be less analytical
• 45:29
  Speaker 2: and super supportive, but I want to give them real,
• 45:32
  Speaker 2: true advice at the same time. So that's a balance
• 45:34
  Speaker 2: I'm trying to strike.
• 45:36
  Speaker 1: I get it, and it makes sense. And you know
• 45:38
  Speaker 1: what that tells me. That tells me that you are
• 45:41
  Speaker 1: continuously reinvesting in you. You're reinvesting in you are not
• 45:45
  Speaker 1: blocked off to learning, growing, evolving, and nurturing, continuing to
• 45:52
  Speaker 1: nurture your relationships with your children because we can get
• 45:55
  Speaker 1: in the method of just you know, I have said
• 45:57
  Speaker 1: to my mom a couple of times, and my mom
• 45:59
  Speaker 1: and I are very very close. I was like, Mom,
• 46:03
  Speaker 1: you are my mother. You're not my mommy, you know,
• 46:06
  Speaker 1: Like but and but you're my mother, which is the best. Yeah,
• 46:10
  Speaker 1: and then you can be my friend, you know, so
• 46:14
  Speaker 1: it doesn't matter, like I'll still get I got a
• 46:16
  Speaker 1: text the other day. I was getting on a plane
• 46:18
  Speaker 1: and she's like, uh, I was going to to to
• 46:22
  Speaker 1: shoot somewhere and she says, make sure that they have
• 46:25
  Speaker 1: other people around you. Do you have a whistle? And
• 46:28
  Speaker 1: I was like, I don't what.
• 46:29
  Speaker 2: The I'm like, oh, wait for a while, I don't know.
• 46:32
  Speaker 2: I don't know you learned somebody coming out guess.
• 46:34
  Speaker 1: So I took a screenshot of and I said it
• 46:36
  Speaker 1: to Sophie. I said, Sophie, you see that you're going
• 46:38
  Speaker 1: to be getting these for the next at least thirty years,
• 46:40
  Speaker 1: because I'm thirty something years older than my daughter. And
• 46:43
  Speaker 1: but what I but I will give my mother credit
• 46:46
  Speaker 1: that she's like, well, she started off like, your mother
• 46:48
  Speaker 1: watches too many crime shows. Please make sure that there
• 46:51
  Speaker 1: are other guests that are in the room, he says.
• 46:53
  Speaker 1: My mom said to me in her time, she.
• 46:55
  Speaker 2: Said, your mother watches to me, she's talking about herself,
• 46:58
  Speaker 2: she referred to herself. Can we can we connect our moms?
• 47:02
  Speaker 2: When I tell you my mom is a true crime
• 47:06
  Speaker 2: like there needs to be some kind of rehab for this,
• 47:09
  Speaker 2: she watches. She watches them all. And by the way,
• 47:13
  Speaker 2: she lives in Palm Springs and she has three TVs
• 47:15
  Speaker 2: in her little space, one in each room, and they're
• 47:18
  Speaker 2: all on different crime channels. So she goes Dateline over here,
• 47:23
  Speaker 2: true Crime here, and then she's got snapped over here,
• 47:26
  Speaker 2: like she's obsessed. She goes, I watched too much crime.
• 47:29
  Speaker 2: I watched them, but she's obsessed with it. And I
• 47:31
  Speaker 2: realized that I that a little bit of that is
• 47:34
  Speaker 2: in my DNA as well. Yeah, because I do like
• 47:37
  Speaker 2: watch me some Dateline. They actually asked me to moderate
• 47:40
  Speaker 2: a panel for Dateline, and you would have thought I
• 47:42
  Speaker 2: was hosting the Academy Awards when they called me and
• 47:45
  Speaker 2: asked me to moderate the Dateline panel. I was like, Mom,
• 47:49
  Speaker 2: She was like, no way, Please tell Keith Wurrison. I said, Hi,
• 47:53
  Speaker 2: I'm like, when I tell you, I was like, this
• 47:54
  Speaker 2: was the Oscars of the oscars job to moderate the panel.
• 48:00
  Speaker 2: But yeah, we need to connect them because they are
• 48:02
  Speaker 2: true crimes. And that's the thing. They think about that
• 48:06
  Speaker 2: as it pertains to their daughters and their grandkids.
• 48:08
  Speaker 1: They do. And what I love is that even with
• 48:13
  Speaker 1: them and my mother, I'll give her credit, she's constantly
• 48:17
  Speaker 1: she has an open mind and wanting to learn. You
• 48:20
  Speaker 1: take your children's life, you extract from it, and you
• 48:24
  Speaker 1: take from it something that you want to give yourself,
• 48:26
  Speaker 1: which I love. And I think that's that's the key.
• 48:28
  Speaker 1: I think that's the holy grail too. This life, this
• 48:32
  Speaker 1: life in this chapter, not becoming some kind of thing
• 48:35
  Speaker 1: that society likes to say that it's over. There's not
• 48:38
  Speaker 1: much else going on and the body's trying to tell you,
• 48:41
  Speaker 1: convince you that it's kind of going downhill from here.
• 48:44
  Speaker 1: Either it's not. There's more to there's more to discover,
• 48:47
  Speaker 1: there's more to learn, there's more to experience.
• 48:50
  Speaker 2: I have a ninety year old mom. She just turned ninety.
• 48:53
  Speaker 2: Or can I tell you this, lady. If you look
• 48:57
  Speaker 2: up the definition of not age phobic, but anti age phobic,
• 49:08
  Speaker 2: it's my mom. She wears ninety all across her chest.
• 49:12
  Speaker 2: She has been turning ninety since she was eighty almost ninety.
• 49:17
  Speaker 2: I'm pushing ninety. I was like, Mom, you're eighty two.
• 49:19
  Speaker 2: You're not pushing ninety. She has embraced aging in a
• 49:24
  Speaker 2: way that is a little obsessive. She actually tattooed one
• 49:29
  Speaker 2: hundred and four. I don't know how she came up
• 49:32
  Speaker 2: with this number on her hand to indicate her expiration date. Wow.
• 49:39
  Speaker 2: I was like, Mom, that's a bit much. Like that's
• 49:41
  Speaker 2: a bit much, but I believe it. But now that
• 49:44
  Speaker 2: she's hit ninety, like we're all like, oh shit, she
• 49:47
  Speaker 2: might she might get there because she's really taken care
• 49:50
  Speaker 2: of herself. She's she's she's just over the top dynamic,
• 49:55
  Speaker 2: like you know, she's a little too independent, like I
• 49:58
  Speaker 2: really want those car keys, but she's like in her
• 50:02
  Speaker 2: little Mini Cooper driving up from Palm Springs and like
• 50:05
  Speaker 2: doing the most. But then I look at her like
• 50:09
  Speaker 2: from outside of my critical daughter thing, and I'm like, damn,
• 50:13
  Speaker 2: like she's this woman has really had a pretty amazing life.
• 50:18
  Speaker 2: And then I think, Okay, in thirty years am I
• 50:23
  Speaker 2: going to be? Is that gonna be me? So it
• 50:27
  Speaker 2: gives me hope that, oh my god, this season of
• 50:31
  Speaker 2: my life is these chapters coming up, like there's still
• 50:34
  Speaker 2: a lot more to be done, and so I want
• 50:36
  Speaker 2: to be better. I want to get better, I want
• 50:39
  Speaker 2: to be I have goals that I never thought I
• 50:42
  Speaker 2: would set for myself at sixty years old, and so
• 50:45
  Speaker 2: it's really exciting. It's exciting to know that this next
• 50:49
  Speaker 2: chapter is something that it and a lot of people say, well,
• 50:53
  Speaker 2: you know, this is not your mother's sixty but in
• 50:56
  Speaker 2: my with my mom's case, it actually is like when
• 51:00
  Speaker 2: she was sixties, she was doing the thing. And when
• 51:06
  Speaker 2: I look at her at ninety, I'm like, Okay, I
• 51:09
  Speaker 2: got thirty more good years at.
• 51:11
  Speaker 1: Least, because if it's one hundred and four, you're gonna
• 51:16
  Speaker 1: you got a little more than that.
• 51:17
  Speaker 2: She Yes, I might have some change after that, but
• 51:20
  Speaker 2: it's very exciting to be able to live now because
• 51:23
  Speaker 2: obviously a lot of our parents don't get this far.
• 51:27
  Speaker 2: But this is definitely a newer version of being in
• 51:32
  Speaker 2: your sixties and seventies and eighties, and the sky's a limit.
• 51:38
  Speaker 1: To continue telling yourself that. By the way, sitting here
• 51:41
  Speaker 1: with you in this long conversation, I have to say
• 51:43
  Speaker 1: and bringing it to kind of a final note, is
• 51:46
  Speaker 1: that I see a through line in your family, your
• 51:50
  Speaker 1: mother clearly, and I've obviously I read about your dad,
• 51:55
  Speaker 1: who was the original Gordon on Sesame Street, g Gordon.
• 52:00
  Speaker 2: Only people that are around our age would understand, like
• 52:04
  Speaker 2: you have to be. He was the original Gordon in
• 52:07
  Speaker 2: nineteen sixty nine he started that show. Yeah, so that
• 52:11
  Speaker 2: was that's pretty pretty cool, you know, very special. But
• 52:14
  Speaker 2: it was very traumatizing too, only because he's he was
• 52:18
  Speaker 2: everybody's dad. Him and my mom were getting divorced at
• 52:20
  Speaker 2: the time, so it was it was weird. Sasame Street
• 52:23
  Speaker 2: was giving me some PTSD. So that's for another time.
• 52:27
  Speaker 2: I'll tell you that story another time. But but yeah,
• 52:29
  Speaker 2: but you were saying, you're talking about.
• 52:31
  Speaker 1: The whole because I was saying I had read and
• 52:33
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna thread it all through. Is that you read
• 52:36
  Speaker 1: that seeing your dad, who was in his way being
• 52:40
  Speaker 1: the first Gordon and being on a show that was
• 52:46
  Speaker 1: targeting black and brown children of wanting to see themselves
• 52:49
  Speaker 1: on camp, he was He was an advocate, He was
• 52:53
  Speaker 1: a he was a champion. There was a pioneer. And
• 52:56
  Speaker 1: your mother, who has lived unapologetically with commit meant to
• 53:00
  Speaker 1: self yes, and that then fed you with that, she
• 53:05
  Speaker 1: launched you. You go flying, and you did have done
• 53:08
  Speaker 1: the same for your children. It's seemingly that you bring
• 53:12
  Speaker 1: this energy of I can and I will, and your
• 53:16
  Speaker 1: children have clearly continued are continuing the thread. I can
• 53:21
  Speaker 1: and I will go to Japan and realize my dream.
• 53:24
  Speaker 1: I can and I will take my autism and do
• 53:27
  Speaker 1: something beautiful. I can and I will. Each child is
• 53:30
  Speaker 1: making that decision, and it just seems like I'm like, obviously,
• 53:33
  Speaker 1: I'm not a psychologist. I'm just listening to your story
• 53:36
  Speaker 1: and I'm hearing you and your family choose self, and
• 53:41
  Speaker 1: I just think it's breathtaking.
• 53:43
  Speaker 2: Thank you, Dana.
• 53:44
  Speaker 1: It's just breathtaking you and I'm so grateful that you
• 53:47
  Speaker 1: came because I do think that in this chapter we
• 53:49
  Speaker 1: can lose self.
• 53:50
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and it.
• 53:52
  Speaker 1: Has to be a continuous choice that we make over
• 53:55
  Speaker 1: and over again.
• 53:56
  Speaker 2: Well, here's to choosing ourselves.
• 53:58
  Speaker 1: Yes, yes, I love that, And I'm gonna end it
• 54:02
  Speaker 1: with this funny little rapid fire of how hard can
• 54:06
  Speaker 1: it be?
• 54:07
  Speaker 2: Easier? Heart?
• 54:08
  Speaker 1: Falling asleep or staying asleep?
• 54:11
  Speaker 2: Staying asleep?
• 54:12
  Speaker 1: Okay, that's hard, that's hard.
• 54:15
  Speaker 2: I can fall asleep. I can fall asleep right now.
• 54:18
  Speaker 2: Stay asleep is a whole another movie. Now that you're
• 54:22
  Speaker 2: in your own bed, you can fall asleep right Atlas
• 54:25
  Speaker 2: is right there? Easier?
• 54:28
  Speaker 1: Heart hard or easy? Heartburn? Or night sweats?
• 54:32
  Speaker 2: Oh I've I've conquered night sweats, So I would say heartburn.
• 54:36
  Speaker 1: Okay, yeah, I'm gonna have to pick your brain on
• 54:38
  Speaker 1: what that is. Dating your hobby harder or easier?
• 54:44
  Speaker 2: Now it's a little harder. Okay, No, let me take
• 54:48
  Speaker 2: that back. All right, it's actually easier because the kids,
• 54:51
  Speaker 2: we used to go out on dates and talk about
• 54:54
  Speaker 2: the kids and solving issues, and that's less now that
• 54:57
  Speaker 2: they're all sort of on their own space, in their
• 54:59
  Speaker 2: own trajectory. So I would say it's definitely a little
• 55:02
  Speaker 2: bit easier to go out and try to date night.
• 55:05
  Speaker 2: I'm sorry, my stumach, I mind me to eat next time.
• 55:11
  Speaker 2: I would say dating him now is much easier because
• 55:14
  Speaker 2: we don't sit and talk about the kids on our
• 55:17
  Speaker 2: date as much now.
• 55:18
  Speaker 3: But when you get home, you're like, good night the
• 55:21
  Speaker 3: other way good date, so true, so true.
• 55:28
  Speaker 1: Don't threaten me with a good time. This sounds reasonable.
• 55:31
  Speaker 1: Boundaries harder or easier?
• 55:33
  Speaker 2: Oh so much easier. Boundaries are so much easier to eat.
• 55:37
  Speaker 2: As soon as you start to cross them, it's like.
• 55:40
  Speaker 1: Oh, nice, good to hear.
• 55:42
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that's been much easier.
• 55:43
  Speaker 1: You're an inspiration and it has been. It's a full
• 55:47
  Speaker 1: circle moment for me to sit and think that I
• 55:50
  Speaker 1: saw you on TV and it gave me greater permission
• 55:53
  Speaker 1: to go forward, that I could have this hair.
• 55:56
  Speaker 2: I know it sounds.
• 55:57
  Speaker 1: Simplistic, but it is sor yes, but if you like
• 56:02
  Speaker 1: and and it was a time when the hair was
• 56:04
  Speaker 1: not we were it wasn't.
• 56:06
  Speaker 2: They were discriminating on our.
• 56:08
  Speaker 1: It wasn't working. They didn't get it. I didn't get it.
• 56:10
  Speaker 1: It was it was a shit show. But it's one
• 56:12
  Speaker 1: of my prom I'm extremely proud of it.
• 56:14
  Speaker 2: Of course, Karl car would die for that.
• 56:17
  Speaker 1: It's it's it's a gift. It is a gift. But
• 56:19
  Speaker 1: what I love to is just hearing more about you, Holly,
• 56:23
  Speaker 1: because you give so much of yourself to others, to
• 56:27
  Speaker 1: your family, to the communities that you represent and the
• 56:31
  Speaker 1: ones that you know and even the ones that you
• 56:33
  Speaker 1: don't know. When you say that, my impetus for creating
• 56:37
  Speaker 1: this Holly Rod Foundation with my husband was not only
• 56:40
  Speaker 1: to impact my son's future and his and his resources
• 56:45
  Speaker 1: and his quality of life, but for all those parents
• 56:48
  Speaker 1: that didn't know how to tell that pediatrician I'm sorry,
• 56:52
  Speaker 1: we're done here right and and find their voice. You
• 56:55
  Speaker 1: created a home for them to come and get the
• 56:58
  Speaker 1: language that they need or the the input or the
• 57:02
  Speaker 1: intel that they need. And you are a gift.
• 57:06
  Speaker 2: Thank you, a gift. Thank you so much, and I'm
• 57:09
  Speaker 2: so great. It's so fun. Thank you for having me.
• 57:11
  Speaker 1: You've been a dream and I love you, Love you too.
• 57:14
  Speaker 2: How hard can it be?
• 57:15
  Speaker 1: With the animade Ariva is a Hyphenit Media group production
• 57:18
  Speaker 1: in partnership with Iheart'smichael Tura podcast network. For more of
• 57:22
  Speaker 1: your favorite shows, visit the iHeartRadio app Apple podcasts, or
• 57:26
  Speaker 1: wherever you get your podcasts