Latest / Campfire Guide to Parenting / Building Houston Moms Through Infertility, Twins, and Real Motherhood with Meagan Clanahan

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Building Houston Moms Through Infertility, Twins, and Real Motherhood with Meagan Clanahan · Campfire Guide to Parenting

• Mike: There's something that happens around a campfire that doesn't happen anywhere else. People get real and they slow down. They look at each other in the eye and they say things that actually matter about their kids, about their fears, about what they wish they'd know sooner. I'm Mike McDonald. I spent 32 years working with kids and the people who raise them. I've seen what builds a strong kid, and I've seen what doesn't. And the one thing I keep coming back to is this. The parents who get it. Right, aren't the ones with all the answers. They're the ones willing to just keep asking better questions. And that's what this show is about: a campfire, a real conversation, no perfect answers, just honest talk about one of the hardest and most important things any of us will ever do. My guest today is Megan Clanahan. Megan is a Dallas native who has spent nearly two decades putting down roots with her husband Matt, a love story. That started when she kicked a soccer ball to LSU and fell for an Aggie in Baton Rouge. She survived Hurricane Katrina on the way back to Texas. Following several years of infertility, their miracle twins, Ryan and Quinn, were born in June of 2010. She is a devoted Astros fan. Pino Grigio and Sonic Died Coke, a loyalist, love that, and someone who believes a mindless book. And a girl's night out are underrated forms of self-care. She is the co-owner of Houston Moms, one of the most red local parenting platforms in Texas, reaching hundreds of thousands of mothers. Welcome around the campfire, Megan. How you doing? Meagan Clanahan: Hey, I'm great, Mike. Thank you so much for having me. Mike: My gosh, thank you. you and I do very similar things here in our part of the world. And I really felt compelled to bring you on. I love your story. Your bio is amazing, by the way. we're in the business of serving and educating and taking care of families, right? You in particular moms and me in particular kids, right? But we also have these personal lives, right, that run counter Meagan Clanahan: Mm. Mike: to counter well, parallel and sometimes counter to what we're all what we're doing. And I really wanted to dive into that because I feel like for you, there's this version of motherhood that exists online. It's organized, it's very intentional. The kids are thriving, the business is growing, the latte is always hot Meagan Clanahan: Yeah. Mike: And then there's the version Meagan Clanahan: Yeah. Mike: that actually really happens at the house, right? and I want to dive into that today, so today's conversation isn't about the platform per se. It's about that gap between the community that you build for other people and the family that you're building Meagan Clanahan: Yeah. Mike: at home, what it actually looks like to run something meaningful and still be present for your kids, I want to pause on one thing before we go anywhere else. Several years ago. you had the challenge of infertility, And then twins in 2010, Ryan and Quinn. That's not a small thing to carry when you're building a community for for moms, But first, for anyone who doesn't already know your work, give us the 30 second version of what you've built and what it means to you. Meagan Clanahan: so Houston Moms is platform it is specifically designed to engage inspire make this big old city because you know Houston it feels so large and we really want moms to have connection we want moms to have places to go we want to provide them resources so it feels a little less lonely a little more connected and that at 2 a.m you are not sitting there alone There is somebody in the trenches with you. And we have veteran writers and we have newbie writers. And so we have literally thousands and thousands of posts that are written by Houston moms for Houston moms. This isn't AI stuff. This is these are real moms who are living a real life. Mike: Before any of this existed, what were you actually looking for as a mom and what what couldn't you find? Meagan Clanahan: So it's an interesting backstory. So you mentioned the infertility stuff, but that that stuff is what got me started into blogging and writing. So I had a friend, this was right at the advent of mommy bloggers, if you will. And if you say mommy bloggers to me right now, it would like throat punch you because like I hate the term mommy bloggers. We are Mike: Fair. Meagan Clanahan: not, we are not mommy bloggers. But back in the day, that was what was it. And I had a friend who reached out and was like, hey, like this person I think is going through something similar. You may want to follow them. And I was like, I guess I could just start my own blog too. And I am a writer by nature. So I started my own blog to start documenting this journey of trying to become a mom. And then becoming a mom. And for better or for worse, Ryan and Quinn's story is out there on Or not and subsequently Quinn had a handful of heart issues, had hope open heart surgery when she was 15 and 16 months old. It's all been documented, which is really good. Like they have an online scrapbook because I gave up on like the the original scrapbook, like I don't know, three months in, I had twins. I was like done. but so that's kind of how it all started, but it but can Connecting within that group and of these moms who really just wanted to have their voice heard, that we didn't want to feel alone in our journey and we had stuff to share and then eventually wisdom to share. That's kind of how Houston Mike: Right. Meagan Clanahan: moms got started. Mike: Yeah, there had to have been a moment there and and I and I and I love the impetus for the creation of the business and the organization, right? I mean, that's very similar kind of to to what I was doing in the very beginning. but there had to be this moment where where you realized this wasn't just your problem or your challenges, right? That other moms were sitting in the same room feeling sort of the exact same thing. Am I right about that? Meagan Clanahan: Yeah, and to give full credit, so this was not the my brain child. this was an advent of somebody who it was a city mom collective group. It used to be like eighty, ninety, some odd sites. and we had an original owner and I just wanted to write for them and I ended up selling for them and I think that's how we originally met. and then she moved a hand gosh. nine years ago. and so that's when we we purchased Houston Moms. But yeah, like the the mission was always clear that we wanted a space for not only people who want to get their voice, but like for the millions of Houston moms and beyond who who log in and see that we're, you know, like we're here and we're here to support you. Mike: know, it's funny you said mommy blogger because I really feel like that brought back a blast from the past. I kind of feel like that's how they referred to that, right? Meagan Clanahan: I it it's no no no and it was a very big business decision, like on the parts of of some people to you know, like they wanted to capture the mommy blogger audience. And I mean, to be fair, we were called Houston Moms blog before. And so I mean it kind of lent itself to that, but that's why we just call ourselves Houston Moms right now, 'cause we are just like a full scale digital website. But yeah, that that was back in the day but I know like if somebody reaches out to me now and they say Houston mommy blogger I'm like no no no no we're not doing that Mike: So I I you know, when I I think back to like 1994 when we started Kid Venture, I didn't have any kids at the time, I certainly was a big kid at the time, still kind of consider myself that. and I saw in the summer camp world, that that things could be done better, for more profound reasons, Other than just having camp, But eventually I had kids. Meagan Clanahan: Yeah. Mike: And then I was like, okay, wow, okay. we've built this business kid venture to provide summer camp in a particular type of way. Then I had kids. It's almost as if building the kid venture business helped me, I don't know, get going being a parent, And and I'm Meagan Clanahan: Mm. Mike: curious from your standpoint, before you had kids, you got into the mommy business, The you got into to To gathering all these mothers together and writing for them and doing copy, did that somehow inform your parenting once you finally had kids? Or what was the relationship with that? Meagan Clanahan: that's such a good question. The main thing it did was inform me of what I thought the type of parent I was going to be. that I was going to do these certain things and I was I was gonna always, put them in just Walmart onesies because why dress them so cute because you know they're just gonna spit up on it and once they get here and you're like especially if you have twins, you're of course you're gonna like you're gonna match everything and and it's and we're gonna in the living room, it's going to be, you know, toys are us. Rest in peace. you know, and so I think what I learned from those moms before I became a mom was just that I knew my world was gonna be rocked. and that Mike: Yeah. You had been forewarned by enough moms, Meagan Clanahan: Yeah. Mike: right? Meagan Clanahan: rocked in the best way and then also rocked in like this really, really sacrificial way. that I don't think that people really truly understand until they're Mike: Yeah. Meagan Clanahan: in it. Mike: So that that's a great segue and kind of the heart of what I really want to talk about today with you is so you've built this community with a lot with the help of a lot of other people, right? On the premise of authentic motherhood, Honest motherhood, The real version. that's the whole point of of what you do, but at the same time, you're living your own motherhood in real time, Your mom to two teenagers, and those are not always the same conversation. And I've I've felt a version of this for like thirty-two years myself, Building something for kids and families while also raising my own kids, People always tell me, you know, my God, how do you how do you do, twenty-six camps and all this kind of stuff and a hundred thousand kids. I and I'm like, that's the easy part. You know, the Meagan Clanahan: Yeah. Mike: the hard part are the four that I have at home, So I guess the question I'm gonna throw at you right now, then, is you're in the business of telling. mothers, it's okay to be real, but what does it cost you personally to actually live that out in your own life at home? Right. Meagan Clanahan: that so I would say and most people would say I'm pretty much an open book. you can see my children's journeys and I've shared a lot. But there are still things I mean that it and people think that they know everything about me or my motherhood journey and they don't because especially as these kids get older they have a digital footprint. I'm very aware of that. My kids just finished their Gosh, they're rising, I guess they call it rising sophomores now. and they're able to Google themselves and they're like, Mom, why did I do this? or you know, whatever. Like, why were you telling this story? And then as they get to be teenagers, the stories become really real. It's beyond just like, hey, like I cannot get Ryan to sleep at night. it becomes more convoluted like bigger stories that are more complicated that need to be like just held here. And I haven't quite found a solution for what that looks like. I asked for permission before I post anything. May I say this? May I post this picture? Or they'll find a picture and they'd be like, please take that down. And I do. as someone who owns a parenting website, I wanna keep it real, but I have to keep it real in respect of my family and their choices and our choices as a family. think that's where it's really powerful that we bring in other voices of moms. you know, it's not just my voice. It's nobody needs to just hear me 24-7. so it's you know 25 others who can be authentic in different spaces some feel more authentic over here and then some are more comfortable being authentic over here. Mike: Now you bring up a really interesting thing that you just make me think of, you know, access to information, social media. I mean, it's just it permeates our life as as opposed to when I was a kid, your kid's age, it was completely different, So do you think that so much access and so much opportunity to have yourself out there, whether that's on social or wherever it is. gives people the opportunity to show their authenticity, or do you think because I feel like it's in competition with being unauthentic, Meagan Clanahan: I'm sort of same generation as you. I grew up you know, we didn't have a digital footprint, if you will. Mike: Yeah. Meagan Clanahan: And I'm very glad that there are no pictures of me from the college years floating around or that even high school years floating around on the internet. I kinda almost feel bad for this generation because they are growing up and everything is going to be tracked. it is going to be tracked in a in a big way and could affect jobs or you know future schooling or whatnot. I think the trap that moms fall into now that we have and I fall into this too. I had a conversation just the other day about the comparison trap. I try to keep it as real as I can. because I try to keep it as real as I can, I am not one who has a phone in my face. If you look at my Instagram, I am not recording anything. I'm not shaming people who do. That is not where my comfort zone lies. I think the moms look at these these influencers who have five plus kids and they're all in matching outfits and they're going on vacations all the time. And it's like, that's really great for you. But also Mike: But where's the picture of the big meltdown that they had right before they are rushing to the airport and no one can find no one posts that, Meagan Clanahan: For sure, like Mike: right? Meagan Clanahan: Where is your passport? And everyone is losing their collective mind. So I think I'm at the age where I kind of take that as a grain of salt. What I think is fearsome that there's a lot of girls thinking that this is just you know, of what it's supposed to look like. I know the girls since I have a high school girl None of them went through their ugly years. Like they did not do their time in like Mike: Right. Meagan Clanahan: the awkward stage. And because and I and whether I blame it or I don't know if that's the right word, whether I contribute it Mike: Mm. Meagan Clanahan: to the Sephora Ulta generation and whatever, but they're all coming out looking stunning. And if you saw a picture of me from eighth grade schimmelfinning middle school, my God. Mike: I'm so thankful that we didn't have social when in nineteen eighty seven because back then it was just, you know, if you did something Meagan Clanahan: Yes. Mike: stupid or you looked completely awkward, someone reminded you of it the next day and then that was about it, Meagan Clanahan: Or they talked about it at your wedding and that was like the worst thing that happened. You know what I mean? Like it was just Mike: For sure. Right. Meagan Clanahan: But it wasn't documented, it wasn't documented for the school, it wasn't documented Mike: Yeah. Yeah. No, yeah. Meagan Clanahan: for future employers. I feel a little sad for our generation that they don't get kind of I guess like the whole nineties summer is like trending again. Like they can they can't do a nineties summer, there's ring cameras everywhere. What are you gonna do? Mike: Right. it's funny, no matter how many guests I have on a podcast and everything I talk about kind of comes back to family, right, and kids, right? Because that is the Meagan Clanahan: Mm. Mike: premise of the show. But this this rub we're talking about right now, Reliance on technology and how it positively but really so many times negatively impacts our kids. Because let's face it, this generation of kids is really the first group of kids that has always had a cell phone, right? I I've had one foot back when there was none of this, like you, and then one foot in it. So I have Meagan Clanahan: Yeah. Mike: I have a basis by which I can judge today on, but most people today, young kids. they don't have that anymore. They've always lived with it. That's just been a part of their life, Meagan Clanahan: Yeah. Mike: And every time I go there, gosh, I think I feel like I sound so old too, by the way. You know, the old guy. Back when I was Meagan Clanahan: No, well I well, we also walked uphill, you know, ten miles to school. Mike: Yeah, both ways. You know that. All right. Meagan Clanahan: we did the whole thing. You know, I think there's good and bad in it though. I mean, our kids' brains for sure, and I'm sure there's gonna be studies of how this has affected their brains. but however much we want to face it, it's coming. There's just no way. So how do we better prepare them? I think that's where I meant like kind of the acceptance Mike: Yeah. No. Yeah. Meagan Clanahan: standpoint and, not to say, I mean, my son, he does he plays a lot of video games. He it's he's had a they got their cell phones in sixth grade, which felt like holding out KD Texas, who Mike: Yeah. Meagan Clanahan: I like that felt like a long time 'cause a lot of their friends got phones like in third grade. so I was like, go me, but pff But he's now Mike: Mm-hmm. Meagan Clanahan: like doing the drive-thru at Chick-fil-A, it's his first off. And the way he can just like their thumbs and the way their brains are wired to hit these buttons is different. No, I'm serious. So if you Mike: Yes. I know. Yeah. Meagan Clanahan: were to throw me a new app, I would be like, I have no idea. I Mike: Well Meagan Clanahan: threw my kid my phone to set her Instagram permissions because she could find it faster than I could. It's Mike: yeah. No, there's a language there that they're way more fluent in. Meagan Clanahan: it's just wild and I don't know but he can get your number one right with your Sun Joy and it will come out. Mike: But then again, once a week I'm going over to my mom and dad's house just so that I can log them back into their Netflix account because they can't figure that out. Meagan Clanahan: Exactly. No, and and I think I don't even think we meant to go here for that, but like the whole sandwich Mike: So there's levels. There's levels here. Meagan Clanahan: the sandwich generation is a wild one, right? 'Cause we're still raising kids and then we have and elderly Mike: Yeah. Yeah. Mm. No, for sure. Meagan Clanahan: parents and yeah. No, I'm right there Mike: Yep. Yep. Meagan Clanahan: with you and I I don't know. I'm just like, Mom, maybe I should never have given you the Facebook access. Like Mike: So so Yeah. Meagan Clanahan: Maybe that was a mistake. Mike: okay, Megan. So has building, this community of Houston moms, right, made you a better mother, a more complicated one, or both, or what does that actually look like, I mean, how's that really impacted you as a mom at home? Meagan Clanahan: I I have to think at the core it's made me a better mom. I wouldn't keep doing it if I didn't think that it was a positive impact on my family. Now, can I say that there are some days that are really hard where especially when they were younger that I would you know, maybe I would have to to prioritize work in a certain instance and the kids maybe come second. Have I had to do a little more soul searching of like am I prioritizing other people's kids over my own kids? and that was tough to work out. that was some therapy work too, because I am a people pleaser at heart and but then And I it's almost like for a moment, especially when we're in the very, very big building stages, that I'm like, wait, not I have two kiddos at home who still desperately need their mom too. Mike: know, you can't go back in time, and and hopefully that you you learn from everything that you do, whether it's a positive thing or a negative thing. what's one thing you would have done differently if you could go back in time in terms of the way you parent your two your kids? Meagan Clanahan: I think I would just take into account that that they have very big feelings about what I'm doing too. They're interested, they wanna know. there some times where I maybe had to like scoot them away and be like, hey, like this cannot happen right now? Or i I I can fully admit to this. There was a there was some of do as I say, not as I do. so I'm like, be quiet as I'm like typing on, you know, a love letter to my children. You know what I mean? Mike: For sure. Meagan Clanahan: But we're in tight quarters here. We're I work from home and the kids were around a lot. And so you know, I think at the time I mean, would I change stuff? Sure. Would I have changed certain words that I had said? Of course. but I'm not sure that it's any different than any other working mom would have done. one thing moms are really excellent at, especially working moms, is a whole heaping ton of mom guilt. And we will pile that on ourselves and yeah, so I kinda prefer not to think of the old days. so I don't Mike: Right. Meagan Clanahan: feel really I left my Catholic guilt in the background a a few years ago. Mike: Right. Right. So let me let's let's change this up a little bit then. I if what would you say to a mother who is right at the beginning of building something like that you helped build with Houston moms back in the day, right? something that she cares about, right, passionately, while her kids are still young enough to need her in the room. What advice would you give her now that you've sort of gone through that? Meagan Clanahan: I would say organization is your key. Mike: Yeah. Meagan Clanahan: that is the only way you're gonna get through it. I would say do not keep your schedule loosey-goosey. do block out times of when you are going to be on and when you're gonna be off, especially if it's something that you're building from your home or you have to be gone. Color code, and that sounds very like type three, type A, type. A nerdy, but it really helped keep me on track that, like, hey, 9 to 12 is my block for Houston moms, That is how you're going to stay sane. also making sure that you log off because in this day and time, if if you're starting something from the ground up, there's going to be a social media aspect component attached to that. there's going to be orders component. coming in or or whatever it may be that you're doing that it makes it really hard to disconnect. schedule a time on your phone to just disconnect. I know it seems hard. I struggle with it, but you've got to tell your phone to tell you to go to sleep or, you know, go to like seems ridiculous, go hang out with your kids. Go take a walk. Mike: Yeah. Meagan Clanahan: and also allow them into the excitement of what you're doing too. Like it's pretty cool. Mike: Feel like that advice is really good. It's not advice that I learned until much later, the one about block scheduling. Block scheduling has been a game changer for me. Because if I don't prioritize large chunks of time for specific things, and I'm look, I'm I'm the first to admit I'm I'm ADD. I have been all my life, right? It's just Meagan Clanahan: Isn't Mike: it's part of my superpower and and part of the chink in my armor, But Meagan Clanahan: Mm. Mike: but man, block scheduling has just been a gift for me because it allows me to dial in and focus on certain things, and I just have to adhere to those parameters that I set for me. That's kind of the hard part of block scheduling, but you gotta just sort of be strict about it, I guess, if you will. But that's great advice. I love that. Meagan Clanahan: Just Mike: okay, I want to turn the the attention now to Ryan and Quinn. and you said there's 16 now. Meagan Clanahan: We just had their birthday last Wednesday. So yes, there. My summer 16th. Mike: Well, I know, probably unlike my house, there's no drama that goes on in that age for you. None whatsoever. Meagan Clanahan: None. Mm mm. Yep. Totally smooth. Mike: but as they've grown up watching you do all this their entire lives, they probably never known a version of their mom who wasn't also building something else, and I think about that from sort of my own like personal experience and what my kids absorbed. like they're so done with camp, by the way. I don't want to go back to camp. You know. Meagan Clanahan: Yeah. Yeah. Mike: But some of it I'm really proud of, and some of it I do differently. we we chatted about this a little while ago. but what do you think Ryan and Quinn have taken away or taken in from watching you sort of build all this, And and I mean both the things that you'd frame proudly and maybe things that you wouldn't. Meagan Clanahan: gosh. The things I wouldn't but I so I think the proud things they've seen a mama who has has supported a lot of moms have supported them in many aspects. A lot of what I do is and how sort of it all started was with Quinn's heart effect and so talking about that. And so they see that like there's a mom who's willing to go to to bat and swing for them. and I love that. I'm proud of that. I'm proud that they know that There's alternatives to just going to an office situation. that, you know, mom contributes to this household and not that not that moms who are working like just stay-at-home moms, like aren't contributing to a household because they're very, very important. but I think they see a mom who's leaning into her passion. one of my biggest pride moments this past year finally happened. My daughter is writing for an English paper and she's like Mom can you help me edit this? It's like I would love to. thank you so much for asking. and then I tried not to like, I I couldn't go crazy on it 'cause it Mike: Yeah, you get you have you have to be really cool, almost sort of nonchalant. When your kids finally come back to you and ask for something from you that you know that you're well equipped to provide, you have to be like, Sure, yeah, no problem. Give me can you give me five and I'll be right there. But inside you're like, my Meagan Clanahan: Yeah. Yeah. Spine. Spine. Yeah. No, I do Mike: gosh. Totally. Meagan Clanahan: I do the exact same thing. And then internally I'm giving myself like it's like my my like you know butterflies are flipping in my stomach. I'm like, they asked me for stuff. Like, like something that I could actually provide, like besides food or a ride, you know? and then, looking back, I think also the second part of your question, sorry, I may have lost the loop, was like the Mike: No, the things that that that made you proper the things maybe that that you you know, that you don't want them to hang out with, right? That that you wish Meagan Clanahan: well probably the times that I was in it and in it and I we had like some for better for worse, some T V things and whatnot and I I would have I should have taken the more of the word that they weren't going to the I regret pulling them on one or two times where Mike: Yeah. Meagan Clanahan: they were able to speak and I can't take that back, but I got caught up in some things. Mike: Sure, sure. Well, as parents we get caught up in a whole lot of things, don't we? So, you know. Meagan Clanahan: Yeah, it was just like the people pleaser and me was like, sure I can make it happen and then I'm like throwing twenties from the side. Like I don't know if it was my best my best work. Mike: You know, I had this I was at a wedding this weekend and I have so I have four kids. My oldest is twenty-eight, she's married in Dallas. and then I have my oldest boy is twenty-five and he's in in law school right now. And then I have a daughter who's twenty and she's a Texas as junior, and then Michael Meagan Clanahan: Okay. Mike: Bennett is thirteen. So I'm like I'm like I've I run the gamut, right? You know? Meagan Clanahan: Wow. Okay. Yeah. Mike: And so they were all with me this weekend and my wife, because we were at a wedding for for a nephew of ours. And this guy, I was walking past this one guy, and I had been interacting with my kids, and he stopped me, he put his hand on my shoulder and said, Hey, do I can I ask you a question? And I said, Of course. He goes, I said, you know, I noticed, are those your older kids? And I'm Yeah. I go, I just was, you know, really it was really neat to see them engaging with you. you know. And he goes, I'll just be honest with you, man. I got a kid who's like 17, doesn't want anything to do with me. You know, and I just what I mean, what's the secret? I'm like, dude, they all left me at 17. Like they, they all, and then they come back, right? And there's this thing, and I and I kind of explained to him, and he was like genuinely bummed about this, but it made me remember how bummed. I was Meagan Clanahan: That was gonna make me cry. Mike: and and I was like, it was kind of a moment, you know what I mean? Like Guys don't usually ask other guys those kind of questions, first of all, And so I was kind of taken aback by it. But I'm like, listen, and his wife was sitting right there. And I'm like, you can be the best parent in the world. In fact, really good parents grow really good, independent kids to think for themselves and be their own people. And when you get to be about 17, 18 years old, something inside of you says, I need to go do exactly what I've been raised to do. And all of my kids sort of did that. They didn't want to have anything to do with me during that period of time. and in the moment I just felt like I just internalized all of it. I'm like, my God, you know, what have I done wrong as a parent? Why did my kids not want to hang out with me and be with me? And and you know, where's where's Superman dad when they're six, You know what I mean? And they invite you to their classroom. You know, they hit middle school. Meagan Clanahan: Yeah. Mike: You know, they're embarrassed if you pick up in the car and it sort of progresses. But somewhere around twenty-four, twenty-five, they come back and they all come back like stronger than ever, And they need you then. And that's when you know that you kind of did what you were supposed to do. And I told the guy this, and his wife's like hitting him on the shoulder, going like, That I told you, they're gonna come back. It was like Junior, like, they'll come back. I Meagan Clanahan: Yeah. Mike: go, dude. They'll come back. Have you raised kids to think for themselves? Have you raised them to be independent? Have you raised them to to value them themselves in the world? He goes, Yes. I go, then then they'll come back, man. And I just think that's something we forget, especially when our kids get to be like your your kids' age, When they're gonna be 17, 18. and I probably did the same with my dad too. I'm leaving, something like that, you know. Anyway, it was kind of a Meagan Clanahan: Mike. Mike: It was a neat it was a neat it was really a unique moment. And Meagan Clanahan: Yeah. Mike: you know, because when you're a parent, man, you you made me think of that because when they're your kid asked you to edit their work. What a small, tiny, simple thing. But to a parent, that's like, You want my help? You need my help, you know, Meagan Clanahan: Yeah. Mike: without me offering it up to you before you ask, right? That's a big deal, right, Megan. Meagan Clanahan: No, it's it's stuck in my head and thank you for sharing that because Mike: yeah. Meagan Clanahan: I you know, when they're sixteen they think they're so big. And I mean the attitudes are big. but they're so big. Mike: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Meagan Clanahan: And and and every I guess I would say pair of older children that I talk to, they're like, they're they're preparing for this grown and flown idea, right? Where Mike: Yeah, yeah. Meagan Clanahan: they are preparing to leave the nest. And if you have done your job correctly, they will leave the nest successfully and whatnot. And I'm like, but what if they leave the nest and they They hate me. I mean that's kind of where we're at right now and like and some days are v candidly very, very hard Mike: Yeah. Meagan Clanahan: and of just Trying to figure out like where have we gone wrong here? What have we done wrong here? Like, was it something I did wrong in the birthing process? Like, moms will take it all the way back there, I promise you. and Mike: Yeah. Meagan Clanahan: w we will think that it was it was on us or s or one particular word or one particular day or or whatnot. Mike: Yeah, yeah. Meagan Clanahan: And so it's it it is hopeful. Your message was very hope filled. So thank you for that. Mike: Well, it's just it's really I I I will I will tell you it's not just a mom thing. The mom guilt thing is also a dad guilt thing too. And I think we both we wrestle with that too as well. I think we we spend a lot of our time beating ourselves up with what we think in our minds we could have done to do a better job. and that's okay because I think people who are passionate and care about trying to raise good kids and do the right things, who are fallible at heart, feel that way. They 'cause if we didn't really care that much, we really wouldn't worry about what we did in the past, but letting Meagan Clanahan: yeah. Mike: go is is gotta be one of the best things, right? it's always one of those things when someone comes up and compliments me about my kids outside of the home, that's when I know that, yeah, I did something right, right? You know what I mean? And so Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Meagan Clanahan: Yeah. But can I bring those kids home? You know what I mean? Like I my kids look at like the compliments and p like, you know, whether it's church or work or whatever and that like they're I mean they're super busy kids and they're like, Your kids are amazing. I'm like, gosh, like the way that they interacted or talked to me and da da da and Mike: Are we talking about the same kid? Meagan Clanahan: then like Seriously? I mean, and the same goes for school. But I have, I mean, I've always said I would rather have the kid that can at least like behave outside of Mike: For sure. Meagan Clanahan: of the house and I will take it here. I preferred to not take it as much. Mike: Ha ha ha. Meagan Clanahan: but like But yeah, they you know, for the for the most part, like, you know, ten gold stars outside of outside of the house and so I'm proud to like at least, look like we're raising good citizens. Mike: Yeah. That's great. Meagan Clanahan: and that's that's our goal here. And if I'm hoping contribute in any way of them seeing what moms and women can do too, then I'm I'm I'm thrilled to do that. I don't know if they know exactly what my job is, but they know that I talk to a lot of people and that I write a lot. So Mike: Yeah. So, and that and that brings me to this because I want to bring it back from our kids to moms right now. And you kind of are in a unique place, right? There's a lot of parenting experts. but you've been in a room with moms sort of speaking candidly and authentically for a while now. And I'm curious today in 2026, what are moms telling you right now? Meagan Clanahan: if I I feel like the majority of the things that people are telling us or I'm getting side conversations on, it's like kids and their mental health and kids and how COVID affected kids and how k and how COVID or pandemic affected familial structures and school Mike: Yeah. Meagan Clanahan: structures and kind of changed all of that and this whole idea that almost these kids had to be growing up overnight learning new technology and maybe they're not ready for all of that. And then just the the nuances, I think. I mean, as as we find out more about kids and and individuals and their neuro, you know, different neuropsychathies and spectrums and whatnot, that that all kids are seen for being recognized, not different, but special. Mike: Yeah. I think you bring up a really important topic, and that's the health and well-being of our kids, especially mentally right now. before COVID, the data was really strong that our kids were experiencing the highest rates of clinical depression and anxiety ever recorded. Now that's prior to to the pandemic, right? And then you lump on that that those what let's call it two years, right? Meagan Clanahan: Yeah. Mike: it it exacerbated the situation, and I worry about that, Megan I worry about I think for me it all sort of distills down to connection or disconnection. You know, I think we're stronger, our kids are stronger when they're connected. This is one of those, this is one of those intersections of technology and real world that really Meagan Clanahan: Yeah. Mike: bug me is like I just feel like, technology has maybe done the opposite of what it was intended to with regards to Facebook. It's it's it's it's brought people apart maybe a little bit more than it's brought together. I really feel strongly about that, you know. And that's why I think it's so important, you know, because family is just sitting around the dinner table having a meal is connection, going to dinner with grandparents and multi generation is is like it's golden, It's a connection. And and those kind of th little things like that I think are so important. So it doesn't surprise me that that's what you're hearing from moms, in those rooms. I would I would think that that's probably one of the biggest things on their minds right now, Meagan Clanahan: I do find it interesting, like and I'm in a bunch of like chat rooms with moms of I say chat rooms. my gosh. I just totally aged myself back to the AOL era, but Mike: Mm-hmm. Meagan Clanahan: but But like in our community groups and whatnot and and people are like literally looking for friends to come to birthday parties for their child because they don't know that anyone's going to show up for the kiddo. Or they're looking for mom friends who have similar aged kids for me what seemed kind of seamless, maybe thirteen years ago or so when we moved here, it's not as easy these days. and I find that sad Mike: You think it's harder for moms? You think it's harder for them to talk about some of these issues like mental illness in their kids? Or another topic which came up a second ago when you talked about the sandwich generation? A lot of us as parents who have younger kids are being pulled to care for our parents who are now diagnosed with dementia or Parkinson's or Alzheimer's. And so, you know, there's these two conflicting worlds that we're having to navigate, neither of which We got a guidebook on, and I don't know, it's it's interesting because I'll talk to friends of mine and they're like, my God, my parents have dementia too, and we're s really struggling with how to navigate that. But I I don't think where they would have told me that if I didn't open that up a little bit. And I don't Meagan Clanahan: Yeah. Mike: know if people today are having a harder time talking about maybe those two subjects, you know, as parents. Meagan Clanahan: see this is where I struggle. I I don't know if it's because of this younger I don't I'm I'll fully pull it, I'm forty six. So I'm an eighties baby and there seems to be and I wanna say this gently less of a an intentionality. into friendships and into getting to know somebody and getting to know like what's going on or whatever beyond the gram or beyond the tuck that so then you do Mike: Yeah. Meagan Clanahan: feel very alone. So then you are on Facebook and not that I think that's a bad option. Like I applaud the the moms who step out there and like, hey, I'm struggling with finding girlfriends or I am struggling with finding friends who have kids my age. Like I think that's That's a great thing and I think that is a huge brave step. I I really think we have to go back to the old school mentality here of meeting people where you are planted. So whether that's your neighborhood, your church, your school, and and being bold. And I know like people are shy, and I get that. Like some days I'd rather be an introvert too and close my garage as soon as I get home. and not talk to the neighbors across the street. But that's the most Intentional conversations and most random that have led to some of the most fulfilling relationships in my life have come from like meeting someone in my grocery store. And when I tell you that led to a neighborhood group, that we take vacations together and we go out to eat together once a month. you have to be open to it. So decide if you're open to it, however means that is. And then the sandwich generation, I think we want to be respectful of our aging parents. it's it's not I wanna respect, you know, my my dad died many, many years ago, twenty this year, but you know, my mom's 77. She's getting Mike: Yeah. Meagan Clanahan: up there. I need to respect her Her wishes and dignity and she isn't going through if you hear this mom, I know you're not going through dementia. but you she's you know, she's she's getting older and we wanna respect that. So I don't know if that's why we're not talking about it. Or we just don't know what to do. Because all of this is new. Mike: I just think we don't know what to do. I I think if you took the phone out of everybody's hand and they automatically disappeared tomorrow, we would be forced to have to engage people verbally. We'd have to Meagan Clanahan: Yeah. Mike: be we'd be forced to go next door to our neighbor and introduce ourselves. We couldn't just fall back on the Facebook group. We wouldn't be able to, you know, kids today they date in groups. They don't ask an individual person to go to the Red Lobster for prom anymore. Now I'm really dating myself, you know. Meagan Clanahan: Well well we're chasing that at our house, my friend. I am not even getting you because and thankfully my daughter had her first boyfriend this year and his mom is like still falls like a little bit old school with that too. And so we coordinated dates where Quinn would go and feel, you know, Mike: Good for you. Meagan Clanahan: dated and special, but it good on that mom who was like no, she's she's gonna be asked out, she's gonna be taken out, she's gonna be treated and it was really special and so no like now my girl knows how to be treated. They're not together anymore but she knows what it looks like. so Mike: Yeah. I had I had my that brings up a I'll tell you a real quick story. my daughter's I think probably her first date. We were living in Austin at the time. and I we knew she was going out on a date. Great, no big deal. And then all of a sudden she grabs her stuff and says, Bye bye. And I go, What you what? What are you talking about? And she goes, Well, he's here. Meagan Clanahan: Ugh no. Mike: And I'm like, Where? she knew what was coming, right? She's like, D Dad, he texted me, he's out front. I'm like, I'm like, I love you, but if you want to go out on this date, the the guy has got to come to the door and meet his parents because I wouldn't want you going out with anybody that didn't not respect you that much. Right. She looked at me like she was gonna kill me, but then she's like, Okay, you know what I mean? And you know, and then two seconds Meagan Clanahan: Yes. Mike: later You know, dude is out of his car at the front door knocking and and we had a great little conversation and she realized that the world wasn't crumbling in front of her and he wasn't gonna turn around and leave. And it was actually a great learning moment. I think probably not just for you know, for her, but for for him too as well. And and I I miss that kind of stuff, you know. Meagan Clanahan: No, and I love that and it is still really important and whether it would have been like even a group of her friends coming to pick her up, like if I don't know who you're going like I need to lay some eyeballs, please. And I need to know who you're going to be hanging out with. I want names. I don't I don't know. I remember how I was at 15. If that makes me a little helicopter-ish, then I mean, Mike: Yeah. Yeah. Mm. So be it. Meagan Clanahan: phew, here we are. Like Mike: I love it. And I I and I love the fact that that you can share all that information about your kids because I think everybody has these same sort of situations and challenges going on at home, you know. I do this thing, Megan. we always sort of try to wrap things up the same way. And I'm gonna, Meagan Clanahan: Okay. Mike: if you you okay playing along with this, you really don't know what's coming, do you? Meagan Clanahan: No, you did not put it in the show notes, but we'll go. Mike: So I'm gonna ask and I and there's a reason I don't ask you because you can't prep or you can't mentally be ready for this. Okay, but I'm gonna ask you ten rapid fire questions. Meagan Clanahan: Okay. Okay. Mike: I need one word, maybe two word. no explanations, no caveats, just the first true thing, honest thing that comes to your mind. I want you to spit it out. Are you with me? Meagan Clanahan: I'm with you. I'm really terrible at rapid fire. I do it on my podcast as well. But I Mike: That's okay. Meagan Clanahan: am I will all I like caveats and I like additional words. But I'm going to try my best for you, Mike. Let's do it. Mike: All right, I think a I think we get a lot out of people when we do this, you know, and usually usually is a lot of fun too, at least for me. Okay, there we go. First Meagan Clanahan: Okay for you. Mike: question. The emotion you feel most at the end of a work day when you close your laptop. Meagan Clanahan: Relief. Mike: One word for what your platform actually is, not what the website says the real one. Meagan Clanahan: Real. Mike: Pinot Grigio or Sonic Diet Coke for the rest of your life, pick one. Meagan Clanahan: Sonic Dank Coke. It was Mike: That's a tough one. the thing you wish someone had told you before the twins were born. Meagan Clanahan: how hard but how much love. Mike: Okay. hustle culture. Necessary, overrated, or complicated. Mm-hmm. Meagan Clanahan: Overrate it. Mike: The moment you felt most like a real mother, not a good one, a real one. Meagan Clanahan: holding my babies the first time ten days after Mike: That's Meagan Clanahan: they were born. Mike: that's sweet. One word for what you want Ryan and Quinn to remember about who you were. Meagan Clanahan: Their mom. Mike: The version of yourself that this work made possible or the version it cost you. Meagan Clanahan: Trevan. Mike: Mm, I like that. What do mothers need more than anything right now? Meagan Clanahan: Understanding. Mike: All right, and I want you to this last one, I want you to finish this sentence for me, okay? By the way, you've done an excellent job so far. the thing I know for certain about motherhood is Meagan Clanahan: It is one thousand percent worth every heartache, every heartbeat, every tear, every smile, every giggle, it's worth everything. Mike: I would agree that I love my mom. I can't imagine my world without her. Even if Meagan Clanahan: Yeah. Mike: I have to go change her Netflix password once a week. I know. I know. Totally. but you're so right about that. Megan, Meagan Clanahan: Sacrificial love. She changed her diaper at some point, so you can at least change her password. Mike: it was it's so good to have this conversation with you. I really didn't know how it was gonna go, but it went way better than I ever imagined. And and that and I do Meagan Clanahan: good. I was worried. Okay. Mike: No, we we got it worked out. what you said today about, you know, the gap between the professional place and and the home, you know, and the community that you create and the family that you come home to, that is something that every parent has ever built anything needs to hear. And I really think it's it it was authentic and and that's kind of what I was hoping to get. And Meagan Clanahan: Tá ele. Mike: the honesty that you brought, I think is is really exactly why. this show runs and and we try to do what we do. So so really appreciate it. Thank you every for everything today. and Meagan Clanahan: bueno. Mike: for everyone listening, Megan, where can where can people find you? Meagan Clanahan: You can go to HoustonMom.com. we are publishing fresh content on the daily up there and then Real Houston Mom's Instagram and that you can find really inspirational things as well as all of our other content and fun videos with our co owner Brittany Smith who is really elevating our platform over there and of course on Facebook and Whatnot, and then you can follow me if you're so interested. Meg, it's E A G H T X on Instagram and I just post nonsense and it's not curated and I don't really care for it to be curated. It's but it's my fun spot to land, so Mike: Cool. I love it. Thank you so much. And are you sure you don't want me to ask you the Pinot Grigio Diet Coke question again? Are you do you feel rock solid on that one, Megan? Meagan Clanahan: well I was looking at the clock, so it's 323. So I if you would ask me at 523 you may have gotten a different a different answer, Mike: We might have got we might have gotten a different answer from you there, right, Megan? Meagan Clanahan: but at this point I'm gonna have to go for the responsible blah blah blah sonic Diet Coke. Still delicious. Mike: Fair enough. Fair enough. Well, thanks so much, Megan. Appreciate your time and and all my best to Meagan Clanahan: Yeah. Mike: you and those and those twins. Okay. Meagan Clanahan: Thank you so much for having me, Mike. I appreciate it. Mike: Course. If this episode landed for you, please hit the subscribe button and share it. That is how this show grows, one real conversation at a time. I'm Mike McDonald. This is the Campfire Guide to Parenting, and we'll see you around the Campfire next time.