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What happens when you say NO to a narcissist? · The Mental Healness Podcast

• 0:00
  So what happens when you tell a narcissist no?
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  When you use that 2 letter word against that toxic narcissistic
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  person? When you just look them directly
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  in their face and say no? How would they react?
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  What would they do? That's what we're covering
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  today. Y'all.
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  Of course, if you're new here, my name is Lee Hammock.
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  I'm a diagnosed narcissist here to give you the inside look at
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  the mind of a narcissist and let's hop right into it.
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  Y'all Seriously? One of the main words, if not
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  the main word that narcissists hate the most is the word no.
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  I think that most if not all people can agree upon that.
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  I think that most, if not all people can agree that
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  narcissists hate hearing the word no.
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  Because if you tell a narcissist no, most if not all of
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  narcissists will lose their damn minds because narcissists hate
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  to hear that word. Like the word no is such a short
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  word. It's only 2 letters, right?
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  It's such a small word, but it's so powerful because it carries
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  to a narcissist, it carries so much weight and so much shame
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  with it that it can make them go crazy.
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  And if you've dealt with this type of person, if you've been
• 1:18
  dealing with this type of person, you know exactly what
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  I'm saying. If you say no to them, they can
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  lose it. A lot of y'all get it.
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  You get it. You're like, well, damn, Lee,
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  you're right. I told my partner no and he
• 1:31
  tried to take my life. Yeah, they tell.
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  Yeah. Some of these are suggested.
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  People are crazy. Let's be real.
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  Some of them are absolutely crazy.
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  Some of them will lose their minds.
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  They will. Because no makes them feel
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  rejection. Because no makes them feel
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  shame. Because no means no more access.
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  Because no means no contact. You see what I'm saying, Like no
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  means no power or less power in this situation.
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  So whatever, whatever the situation is, it could be
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  something small. There doesn't have to be some
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  type of majorly huge situation where you're dealing with this
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  narcissist, right? It means something small or
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  small in compare in comparison to, you know, the large issues
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  that you can be dealing with the narcissist, right?
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  Like it doesn't have to be something huge if they're asking
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  you to do something right or asking you to get back with
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  them, asking you to give them another chance, asking you to
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  just love them and just forgive them for whatever they've done
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  to you and you just say no or some form of it.
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  You make them feel their rejection.
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  Man, you better, some of you better watch out because the
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  more you tell them no, the more some of them will lose their
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  minds, the more some of them will become aggravated and some
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  of them will come become violent.
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  I literally did a one-on-one call.
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  I still I still do those over zoom mental illness.net.
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  I did a one-on-one call the other day right and the woman
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  said she told her partner no, like she was like super tired
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  and he wanted to he wanted to class some cheeks at night and
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  she's like, no, can we do it? Wait till tomorrow morning?
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  I'm just super tired. I had the kids all day.
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  I work you don't work. I've been you've been sitting at
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  home all day. I'm just exhausted.
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  Let's do this tomorrow. This man literally took it.
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  S ate her. He literally he's like if you
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  don't get him, I want to take it.
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  I I have needs. You go meet those needs.
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  You don't meet those needs. I'm going to and he's just
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  literally assaulted her and I think she in the pressing
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  charges on the I don't know if he got like that.
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  I don't know how I end up going, but he literally assaulted her
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  because she told him what showed him no, that she didn't want to
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  do. She didn't say no, not ever.
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  She just said not right now, tomorrow morning, give me a
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  couple. I didn't sleep on it right and
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  his man lost his mind and literally S aid her took it from
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  her and I like nothing happened went right to sleep.
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  I like nothing happened woke up in the morning try to kiss her.
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  She says I had a great night last night babe after he
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  assaulted her just 'cause she said the word no.
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  I'm just telling you the word no carries so much power and weight
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  with narcissistic people. I'm afraid of the word no.
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  I promise you this is this is real life right here.
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  I promise you I'm so I used to be.
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  I'm still afraid of it now, but not as much as I used to be.
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  I used to be so afraid of the word no that I I will let it
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  hold me back from actually doing things that I actually wanted to
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  do. Like if it was a girl I wanted
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  to talk to, an opportunity I wanted to pursue.
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  I was so afraid of the word no that I just wouldn't do it
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  because hey, at least I didn't get told no.
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  I might have missed out on an amazing opportunity, but at
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  least I didn't get at least I didn't get that rejection right.
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  At least I didn't hear the word no, right.
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  At least at least I have the ability to navigate forward,
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  right? That's what be going on.
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  That's what be happening. Because if you're dealing with a
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  narcissistic person, like they don't want to hear that word,
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  that word is just like I'm it's like the narcissist kryptonite.
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  You know, a lot of narcissists think they're Superman.
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  We think we're Superman, right? The our kryptonite is the word
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  no. I know that sounds crazy, but it
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  seriously, it is like this is not a test that you want to do.
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  I'm just saying if you want, if you did this test, you'll
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  probably get these results than I'm about to describe.
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  If you want to do it. You're a narcissistic partner
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  and they ask you something simple, simple and you say no.
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  This is what I'm just telling and they lose their minds.
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  They start screaming and yelling at you or they give you the
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  silence remit that shows you how much, how powerful the word no
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  is. And yes, if you tell the
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  narcissist no, sooner or later they're going to try to get you
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  back. If you deny me access, deny me
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  something, say no to me, make me feel rejected, I'm never going
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  to forget it. And sooner or later, when you
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  need something from me, which I think that you inevitably will,
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  I'm going to be able to say no to you.
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  Even if it's hurt, if it, even if it's going to hurt me.
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  Narcissistic people will cut out their nose to spite their faces.
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  They will just burn the whole house down in this situation.
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  They will hurt themselves just to get back at you.
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  That's the ego. The ego that three letter word
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  is, is is at the mercy of that two letter word.
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  Their ego is at the mercy of the word no.
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  And This is why I tell people get if you want to spot a
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  narcissist early on, get used to saying the word no.
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  Don't be afraid to say the word no.
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  Use it like a weapon. It is your yo.
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  The word no is absolutely a weapon for you.
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  Use it. Use it early and use it often.
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  You want to spot a a narcissist from a healthy minded person,
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  say no. Seriously, just say the word no
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  because they will activate them. Now, if you're afraid to say no,
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  if you're a people pleaser, woo, you're going to be in for a wild
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  ride, y'all. I try to shake my hair just now.
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  The dread. It was a phantom dread moment.
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  Phantom locks moment right there.
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  I just try to shake my hair. I like my neck was itching.
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  I try to shake my hair off my neck and it's gone.
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  There's no hair here, y'all. There's nothing.
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  There's nothing here anymore. It's gone.
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  It's gone. No.
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  How does it look that? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
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  Man, I gotta look. Cut, look.
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  Cut, look. Cut.
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  Look something look some some slight sounds slight No, but
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  seriously man, I, I tell people when I'm doing my coaching calls
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  and I'm doing my and whatnot, I tell people just say the word no
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  and see how people react. Early on.
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  If you just got out of a toxic relationship and you're looking
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  to start dating and you want to know how to spot a narcissist
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  early on, you want to know how to spot a manipulator or a toxic
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  person or an unhealthy minded person, Say no.
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  You don't have to say yes to everything, even if you like
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  really like a person. Even if you really like a person
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  and they ask you to do something that you don't want to do, you
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  can absolutely say the word no and see how they react.
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  A healthy minded person, when you set a boundary and say the
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  word no or you just say no and they a healthy minded person
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  will respect that, perhaps offer you an alternative that suits
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  you, you know. Hey, you want to go out tomorrow
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  night? Hey, I really had a good amazing
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  first date. What about you?
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  Want to continue this thing tomorrow night?
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  We can have another date tomorrow.
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  No, I don't. No, that doesn't work for me.
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  Rah, you whore. I thought you liked me.
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  I thought we were vibing. I thought you really was serious
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  about dating me. Rah.
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  Is that healthy or unhealthy? Now take this example right
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  here. Hey.
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  Hey. I had an amazing time last night
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  on tonight on our first date. Let's do this thing again
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  tomorrow. Will tomorrow work for a second
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  date? No, it doesn't really work for
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  me. OK, cool.
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  Just yeah, if if you like me, we feel each other like throw throw
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  me out some other dates that might work for you.
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  I can accommodate your schedule. OK, I'll let you know maybe a
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  couple a couple days from now. You see which one is, which one
• 9:00
  was healthy and which one was not healthy.
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  If someone rages and yells and screams at you for saying no to
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  a second date or not that or just this next date doesn't
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  work, this next date for our second date doesn't work and
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  they snap on you. You see what I'm saying?
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  Leave that person alone. Leave them alone.
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  Don't just get confused. Well, I just think they really
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  like me. They really want to see me, so
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  they yelled at me and spit in my face and stuff like that.
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  They was, they were. So you were yelling so loud that
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  spit was flying everywhere. This just means that they like
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  me. Rightly, no, no, I know somebody
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  I would like. Well damn.
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  But I've had it happen before. I gave it a second chance.
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  Don't most people regret giving talk to people when, especially
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  when they when they show their true colors at upfront and early
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  and often. Most people regret giving that
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  person a second chance. That's just the truth.
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  Most people regret giving that person another chance to redeem
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  themselves. Because of course, if they
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  redeem this, you give them a chance to redeem themselves.
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  They're going to be on their best behavior.
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  Some people don't deserve a second date.
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  Some people don't deserve an opportunity to redeem
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  themselves. Especially if they're damn evil.
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  If they've been evil and trying to hurt you, You see what I'm
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  saying? If they've been evil and trying
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  to hurt you on the first date, second day, whatever this is
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  shows you who they are. Use the word no, because they
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  cannot. Most narcissists, I ain't gonna
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  say all, most narcissists can't handle it.
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  They give you a they have to react to the word no.
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  And sometimes they give you a visceral reaction to the word
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  no. They absolutely will do it.
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  They absolutely will give you a visceral reaction.
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  Now, are there some narcissists who are who have damn near
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  mastered the art of respecting you up front to manipulate you?
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  Yes. Some of them will hear the word
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  no and they're internally they'd be boiling internally.
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  It's like, it's like the the lava is flowing, not even blood.
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  It's like lava and hot stuff flowing through their veins When
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  you tell them the word no, but they might just say, OK, cool,
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  give me another night. Everybody say you have to use it
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  early and often because they're sooner or later their armor is
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  going to crack. The little narcissistic armor,
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  the little narcissistic coat of arms is going to crack sooner or
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  later. So you have to stay on it.
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  You have to stay empowered in these situations and keep
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  telling them no. Because I promise you, at the
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  end of the day, it's going to help you out tremendously to be
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  able to say no to this type of person because it's going to
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  help empower you so much. I promise you.
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  Just say no. Just say no.
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  Y'all remember dare DARE back in the day?
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  I forgot what it stand for but it's the drug.
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  Whatever situation just say no. Dare to say no to your
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  narcissistic partner or early on we can't handle y'all just no
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  brings us shame. It makes us You telling us no
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  makes us feel like we're not enough.
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  You telling us no makes us feel like we are horrible people.
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  Make us makes us feel like we are bad people.
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  Some of us might be bad people right?
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  We just don't want to feel that way.
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  Anyways, y'all, the video butchers some clarity.
• 12:05
  If it butchers some peace. If it butchers some
• 12:06
  understanding, smash that like button.
• 12:08
  Leave a comment and also subscribe to the channel if you
• 12:11
  haven't already. Y'all.
• 12:12
  I appreciate every single one of y'all greatly.
• 12:15
  And as always, y'all, as always, mental illness is out.
• 12:19
  Peace. That was weird, wasn't it?
• 12:21
  I won't be doing that again. Peace.