Latest / The Resilience Project / Announcing Un-M-Othered Revolution 2.0: A Healing Retreat for Adoptees in December (with Dr. Liz)

Transcript

Announcing Un-M-Othered Revolution 2.0: A Healing Retreat for Adoptees in December (with Dr. Liz) · The Resilience Project

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: Hi y'all, I'm Julie.
• 0:02
  SPEAKER_00: I'm a trauma-informed adoptee coach and somatic healing guide.
• 0:06
  SPEAKER_00: After overcoming deep abandonment wounds, I now help adult adoptees move from feeling lost and disconnected to experiencing profound self-belonging.
• 0:19
  SPEAKER_00: I know what it is like to carry the weight of abandonment, to feel stuck in patterns of longing, adapting, and searching for belonging.
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_00: To have tried every healing modality available and come up empty.
• 0:36
  SPEAKER_00: My own healing has taught me this.
• 0:38
  SPEAKER_00: The answers aren't out there, they're buried within me.
• 0:42
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm here to guide you home to yourself.
• 0:45
  SPEAKER_00: The Resilience Project Podcast brings voice, visibility, and validation to the parts of adoption society rarely names, but all of us feel.
• 0:57
  SPEAKER_00: Through an trauma-informed somatic lens, I explore the lived experiences of the entire adoption constellation with a tender emphasis on the adoptee experience.
• 1:11
  SPEAKER_00: This podcast goes beyond storytelling into soul telling.
• 1:15
  SPEAKER_00: It offers embodied insight, compassionate education, and a path towards awareness, hope, and strength.
• 1:25
  SPEAKER_00: Each episode invites listeners to understand adoption more deeply, not just with the mind, but with the nervous system.
• 1:33
  SPEAKER_00: And to reconnect with the truth, identity, and belonging that were always yours to come home to.
• 1:40
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome.
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome back to the podcast, everybody.
• 1:49
  SPEAKER_00: Today's episode is a return to what feels really, really safe and comfortable for me because we're here with my sister from another Mr.
• 1:58
  SPEAKER_00: Dr.
• 1:58
  SPEAKER_00: Liz Debeta, and we've recorded a few times before.
• 2:03
  SPEAKER_00: You've definitely heard from her on this podcast.
• 2:05
  SPEAKER_00: If you've been with me over the last couple of months, there were some solo episodes that I did about the five conditions.
• 2:12
  SPEAKER_00: And you know everything that I've been teaching about curiosity, clarity, capacity, connection, and consistency that was born inside a preparation for a retreat that Liz and I both have facilitated.
• 2:28
  SPEAKER_00: So a real room with real nervous systems at the very first unmothered Revolution and Adoptee Healing retreat that we had this past May.
• 2:40
  SPEAKER_00: And today, that woman who helped dream this retreat into being, along with my client, Mike Potras, is here, Dr.
• 2:48
  SPEAKER_00: Liz Debeta.
• 2:49
  SPEAKER_00: And she is so excited to be back on the podcast.
• 2:52
  SPEAKER_00: She loves hanging out with y'all.
• 2:54
  SPEAKER_00: So she is my co-facilitator.
• 2:56
  SPEAKER_00: She is my colleague, and she is my friend.
• 3:00
  SPEAKER_00: Because guess what?
• 3:01
  SPEAKER_00: We have an announcement, everybody.
• 3:03
  SPEAKER_00: The unmothered retreat is going to happen again.
• 3:07
  SPEAKER_00: December 4th.
• 3:08
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, we we both get so excited.
• 3:10
  SPEAKER_00: If you're watching on screen, you'll see us kind of like doing jazz hands.
• 3:16
  SPEAKER_00: It's so funny.
• 3:17
  SPEAKER_00: December 4th through the 6th at the Red Poppy Center for Renewal in Highland, Michigan.
• 3:24
  SPEAKER_00: So it's a little bit more centrally located.
• 3:26
  SPEAKER_00: It will be a full weekend, everything under one roof.
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_00: And we have learned so much since May about what this work really needs and what hopefully you need as adopted people, since we ourselves are those as well.
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_00: And this second iteration is genuinely a different animal.
• 3:47
  SPEAKER_00: So today we're going to tell you a little bit about what happened at our pilot retreat and what we're going to carry forward and what we're shifting and how you can be a part of that room with us in December.
• 4:01
  SPEAKER_00: So, Liz, welcome back.
• 4:03
  SPEAKER_01: I'm so happy to be here and I'm so excited to be able to talk about the next iteration of this beautiful retreat that we dreamed up and then threw that spaghetti at the wall and hoped it would stick, and it sure did.
• 4:17
  SPEAKER_01: And so this is going to be really, really great and another really special sacred experience.
• 4:25
  SPEAKER_00: Absolutely.
• 4:26
  SPEAKER_00: And the thing that brings that comes to mind when I think about this retreat was that at the very end we were eating.
• 4:33
  SPEAKER_00: We had finished everything.
• 4:34
  SPEAKER_00: And it was when you came up to me with tears in your eyes and just hugged me and didn't let go.
• 4:40
  SPEAKER_00: And it was just this beautiful moment that Jeremy captured that I just will cherish forever.
• 4:48
  SPEAKER_00: Just something that we shared in the amount of work that we put into uh when we created the things that we created and how it came to fruition in that moment.
• 5:00
  SPEAKER_00: It was just it was really fun to experience with you.
• 5:03
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm very grateful.
• 5:04
  SPEAKER_00: And we shared a room.
• 5:05
  SPEAKER_00: We got real close.
• 5:07
  SPEAKER_00: Johnston and Murphy became friends, our spirit animals.
• 5:11
  SPEAKER_00: It was just so fun.
• 5:14
  SPEAKER_02: We get Johnston.
• 5:15
  SPEAKER_02: Hold on.
• 5:16
  SPEAKER_02: Oh yeah, I get Johnston.
• 5:18
  SPEAKER_00: Murphy isn't in the room.
• 5:19
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know where he is right now.
• 5:20
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, Da Boy.
• 5:22
  SPEAKER_01: Look at him.
• 5:22
  SPEAKER_01: He's the Johnston.
• 5:24
  SPEAKER_01: He's our official retreat emotional support puppy.
• 5:28
  SPEAKER_00: Mm-hmm.
• 5:28
  SPEAKER_00: He is.
• 5:29
  SPEAKER_00: I can't bring Murphy with me this time, so he's gonna have to hold the torch.
• 5:35
  SPEAKER_00: So unbelievably fun.
• 5:36
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, so do you want to give just a brief what happened in Idaho and what was it like for you?
• 5:45
  SPEAKER_00: For me.
• 5:46
  SPEAKER_00: Well, so much happened in Idaho.
• 5:49
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 5:50
  SPEAKER_01: It was it was it was an adventure on a lot of levels because getting there was was really kind of epic for me.
• 5:56
  SPEAKER_01: I had to, you know, spend the full full day traveling and lots of airports and connections and things.
• 6:02
  SPEAKER_01: And it was so worth it because once I got there and once we sort of landed and were getting ready for the weekend, you and I, there's just a sense of of peace, and we have planned this, we have co-created this to you know, this offering, and we I was I I was um very convinced that and you know this because we talked about it, that the people who needed to be there would were were the people that were there that weekend.
• 6:35
  SPEAKER_01: And what for me I think was the most profound was that there were five adoptees in a room together who might not otherwise have come together.
• 6:48
  SPEAKER_01: You know, they they they live in various parts of the country, they have very different um identities and lived experiences, and yet something called to them and said, No, this is this is where I need to be right now.
• 7:02
  SPEAKER_01: And for some of them, it was the first time they've been in a room with other adopted people, and that is never lost on me because we need safe spaces to come together and explore and express our grief and the complexity of our experiences.
• 7:21
  SPEAKER_01: And so what happened that weekend was that we came together in a in a small community, a small intentional group.
• 7:29
  SPEAKER_01: We watched a film, we watched the film version of Unmothered that opened some things up for people, and we learned to co-regulate together, we wrote together, we laughed together, we cried together, we hugged each other, we had meals together and talked about our lives and just connected on a human level, but also on an adoptee to adoptee level.
• 7:54
  SPEAKER_01: And so the whole weekend just felt like this completely organic flow of one experience to the next, where we were just able to be really present and we were able to ensure that everyone else was able to be present.
• 8:13
  SPEAKER_01: And so that's for me, I think the biggest thing that happened.
• 8:17
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I fully agree with everything that you just said.
• 8:20
  SPEAKER_00: It was, as you said at the beginning, a very sacred experience that I think even we still are trying to make sense of the reverberations that have continued into our lives from there.
• 8:33
  SPEAKER_00: If if any of you guys want to know more about the retreat from those who actually experienced it back in May, there is an episode that we did recently with all five of them where you can hear directly from them.
• 8:46
  SPEAKER_00: And I will make sure to link it in the show notes.
• 8:49
  SPEAKER_00: But we wanted to actually focus on the things that we learned and the things that we'd like to shift moving forward into the next retreat and give y'all an idea of what's coming.
• 8:59
  SPEAKER_00: So I would say the biggest lesson learned was that we definitely want to keep everything in one place.
• 9:09
  SPEAKER_00: That was something that we realized was really, really, it wasn't hard.
• 9:14
  SPEAKER_00: It was actually kind of fun to travel from the hotel to Mike's place and have a beautiful environment.
• 9:19
  SPEAKER_00: But the cool thing is that's all included in this place.
• 9:23
  SPEAKER_00: And so where you sleep is where you're going to be doing the retreat, where you eat, all of it's there.
• 9:30
  SPEAKER_00: So I think that's a really cool thing.
• 9:33
  SPEAKER_00: And then we definitely want to protect the integration time, the time where we really spend being with the information that we're experiencing.
• 9:46
  SPEAKER_00: And then it's the whole idea of the power of small in every way.
• 9:51
  SPEAKER_00: We're not going to have hundreds and hundreds of people here.
• 9:53
  SPEAKER_00: There's only going to be 14 total.
• 9:56
  SPEAKER_00: That's where we're going to cap it.
• 9:57
  SPEAKER_00: And we'll talk more about that in a minute.
• 9:59
  SPEAKER_00: So with everyone under the roof at the same time, there's no commuting between hotel and venue.
• 10:04
  SPEAKER_00: We wake up where the work happens, like I said, every meal is included from Friday through Sunday.
• 10:11
  SPEAKER_00: What are your thoughts on this whole new iteration of what we are creating here, Liz?
• 10:17
  SPEAKER_01: I love it because I love the Red Poppy Center for Renewal.
• 10:23
  SPEAKER_01: It is a beautiful retreat space that I was introduced to by some local friends who run a program called Specialty Aquatics here in Southeast Michigan.
• 10:34
  SPEAKER_01: And they run aqua retreats there.
• 10:37
  SPEAKER_01: And I had the opportunity to facilitate migrating to a homeless workshop at one of their aqua retreats about a year and a half ago, which is the first time I was introduced to the red poppy.
• 10:48
  SPEAKER_01: And the minute I walked into this incredible home that has a really fun story, which you'll hear when when we're there, because the owner Lynn will tell the stories and it's amazing.
• 11:01
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and I don't want to give it away, incentive to come and learn about this crazy, this crazy cool house.
• 11:07
  SPEAKER_01: But the minute I walked into this house, the energy is just so completely peaceful and healing.
• 11:15
  SPEAKER_01: And Lynn, who is the owner, her mission with this with this property is to create a sacred space for healing and wholeness for people.
• 11:26
  SPEAKER_01: And you can feel it when you walk in.
• 11:28
  SPEAKER_01: And it's just a really special place.
• 11:31
  SPEAKER_01: It feels warm and inviting, and it's comfortable, and there are, you know, grounds are beautiful.
• 11:38
  SPEAKER_01: There's a little lake outside, and there's out there's gardens, and there's space to be outside, and there's a fire pit, and then the pool and the hot tub are indoors, which in December in Michigan is beautiful.
• 11:51
  SPEAKER_01: Um so there's some really cool stuff, and I'm I'm really excited about it because one of the things you and I talked about, Julie, was that it's important for us to be able to actually retreat.
• 12:09
  SPEAKER_01: And so what does it mean to retreat?
• 12:11
  SPEAKER_01: It means to retreat into a space that feels like a warm hug, that feels like a place where we just land.
• 12:18
  SPEAKER_01: And so to have everything in one location is ideal because we we can get we can literally retreat for the weekend together.
• 12:27
  SPEAKER_01: And so that's the thing I'm really excited about.
• 12:30
  SPEAKER_01: And and I'm also excited to support a woman-owned business because you and I are both women business owners who are who are doing some hard things by going solo, but really important things.
• 12:41
  SPEAKER_01: And I think that there's real power in in those connections.
• 12:46
  SPEAKER_00: I totally agree.
• 12:47
  SPEAKER_00: And I think the beauty of this is it allows us to have roughly double the programming that we had before.
• 12:54
  SPEAKER_00: So we were Saturday through Sunday lunch, and now we're Friday through.
• 13:00
  SPEAKER_00: Did we did we find out if we could did we find out if we could do Sunday lunch?
• 13:04
  SPEAKER_00: I haven't confirmed that yet, but I don't think it will be an issue.
• 13:09
  SPEAKER_01: But stay tuned.
• 13:11
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, stay tuned.
• 13:12
  SPEAKER_00: That was something that she and I talked about, and I wanted to confirm it.
• 13:15
  SPEAKER_00: So it is basically double what you received last time at the retreat.
• 13:20
  SPEAKER_00: So that's really cool.
• 13:21
  SPEAKER_00: From Friday's film screening all the way through to Sunday's closing circle, there's so much that's going to be amazing.
• 13:27
  SPEAKER_00: There's two intimate circles of seven that will be together, and the sharing doesn't get diluted by 14 people trying to interact.
• 13:37
  SPEAKER_00: So we're we're making those into little small groups.
• 13:39
  SPEAKER_00: It's going to be great.
• 13:40
  SPEAKER_00: The rhythm of the weekend, just so y'all know, is going to be the film, and we're going to have just being able to witness each other, co-regulate with each other on Friday night.
• 13:49
  SPEAKER_00: There will be deep work on Saturday with Liz's writing a narrative track, and then there will be My Belonging Blueprint somatic track.
• 13:56
  SPEAKER_00: And both groups will be experiencing both.
• 13:58
  SPEAKER_00: It's not, you won't just do one or the other.
• 14:01
  SPEAKER_00: You'll get to experience both.
• 14:02
  SPEAKER_00: It'll be a reclamation and integration on Sunday as well as we work through all of that.
• 14:09
  SPEAKER_00: We are curious, as I'm thinking through all of this, as you're listening, listeners or viewers, what do you notice happens in your body as you hear the word retreat?
• 14:19
  SPEAKER_00: Do you notice expansion?
• 14:21
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, yeah, that's what I want.
• 14:23
  SPEAKER_00: Do you notice bracing?
• 14:24
  SPEAKER_00: Oh no, I'm afraid.
• 14:26
  SPEAKER_00: What do you notice?
• 14:27
  SPEAKER_00: Because both are welcome.
• 14:28
  SPEAKER_00: And both are information that we would love to explore with you if you want to chat with us about it.
• 14:34
  SPEAKER_00: So I want Liz to speak to the new pieces.
• 14:38
  SPEAKER_00: And I'll I'll talk about one of the things.
• 14:41
  SPEAKER_00: It's we're, and Liz has really been the key in this, but we're in conversation with another adoptee who is a bodyworker and a Reiki practitioner.
• 14:50
  SPEAKER_00: And we will all be available, hopefully, to help you the full time during the weekend.
• 14:56
  SPEAKER_00: But would love to hear more, Liz, about your view of what's different.
• 15:00
  SPEAKER_00: What are the new things that are going to be added for everybody?
• 15:04
  SPEAKER_01: Well, the new things mostly I think the new things are that we're we're creating a lot of spaciousness and we're separating the the larger group into the two smaller groups so that we each get some really good uh small group time to do do our individual modalities and then the groups will swap and have time with the other person throughout the weekend.
• 15:32
  SPEAKER_01: But what's really exciting is that now because we are extending the time a little bit for the retreat, it's an extra day that we didn't have in May, and it's all in one location that we're going to be putting the film on Friday night as a sort of arrival and evening activity, a shared activity, and then letting people sit with it before we get into the work, right?
• 16:00
  SPEAKER_01: Instead of kind of mashing it all together.
• 16:03
  SPEAKER_01: And that's as you said, that's really important for the integration.
• 16:06
  SPEAKER_01: We it's the many there might be folks who have seen either the film of Unmothered or the live version.
• 16:13
  SPEAKER_01: And if you have, you know that that's a that that a lot can come up.
• 16:18
  SPEAKER_01: There's a lot there.
• 16:19
  SPEAKER_01: And if you have seen it before, there's always something new, right?
• 16:23
  SPEAKER_01: And then for people that have never seen it before, it's it's often, you know, kind of revelatory and a lot of like, oh wow, there's some stuff that I that that is true for me too.
• 16:34
  SPEAKER_01: And so we want to have time to really handle that with care.
• 16:38
  SPEAKER_01: And the other thing that's super exciting is that we will we are building into the weekend opportunity for one-on-ones.
• 16:46
  SPEAKER_01: So people will have a choice of what kind of one-on-one work they want.
• 16:51
  SPEAKER_01: Do they want a one-on-one with me?
• 16:52
  SPEAKER_01: Do they want a one-on-one with you?
• 16:54
  SPEAKER_01: Do they want a one-on-one for the bodywork and Reiki?
• 16:59
  SPEAKER_01: And so that's really exciting because the choice of having even deeper integration is something that we, you know, we weren't able to offer the first time, but feels really important to me because the whole the, you know, the whole the whole point of of the work that we do is is to help people start to either begin a healing journey or start to solidify their you know, the healing that they've been in progress with.
• 17:30
  SPEAKER_01: And so having having some dedicated one-on-one time is going to be really, really great.
• 17:36
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 17:43
  SPEAKER_00: Hey, before we get back to the episode, I want to tell you about something.
• 17:47
  SPEAKER_00: You know how we talk about on this podcast that healing happens relationally?
• 17:53
  SPEAKER_00: I built a space for that.
• 17:54
  SPEAKER_00: It is called The Refuge, and it is a monthly community membership specifically built for adult adoptees.
• 18:02
  SPEAKER_00: Every month you would get a live call with me, access to one revolution teaching call as a guest.
• 18:08
  SPEAKER_00: You also will have your own refuge portal that I'm calling Netflix for adoptees, and a community of people who actually get it.
• 18:17
  SPEAKER_00: No explanation required.
• 18:19
  SPEAKER_00: If you have tried a lot of things and still feel stuck, this is not more of the same.
• 18:25
  SPEAKER_00: This is a trauma-informed, somatic, adoptee-specific space led by someone who has lived it.
• 18:32
  SPEAKER_00: It's$47 a month or$423 for the year.
• 18:36
  SPEAKER_00: You get three months off with the annual membership.
• 18:38
  SPEAKER_00: It is open now, and I will put a link in the show notes.
• 18:46
  SPEAKER_00: It's gonna be great, and I love that you brought all that up.
• 18:49
  SPEAKER_00: So you'll get to choose uh one-on-one with narrative coaching or somatic coaching or the bodywork.
• 18:55
  SPEAKER_00: It's gonna be so cool that you even have that to pick from.
• 18:58
  SPEAKER_00: And then I think why choice even matters here is because this retreat is about bodily autonomy.
• 19:07
  SPEAKER_00: Nobody is put on a table or a chair.
• 19:10
  SPEAKER_00: They didn't choose.
• 19:11
  SPEAKER_00: You get to actually choose.
• 19:13
  SPEAKER_00: And the other thing that I think might be really interesting for y'all to know, I did not tell Liz that I was going to bring this up, but if you want to get a taste of what this will actually be like, she and I will both be at the Making of Me event in September, where you'll get a bit of a taste of what that will be like on the Sunday part of their programming.
• 19:33
  SPEAKER_00: So that's going to be really exciting.
• 19:35
  SPEAKER_00: And we'll be talking about the retreat there too.
• 19:37
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, we'll be available to talk about it there.
• 19:40
  SPEAKER_00: So that's exciting.
• 19:41
  SPEAKER_00: So why don't you tell us, Liz, what happens in your own narrative coaching as a one-on-one person who does this consistently with people?
• 19:50
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, and it's interesting because it's the word coaching is so legible, which is kind of why I use it.
• 19:55
  SPEAKER_01: But yeah, I'm I consider myself more of a guide and a mirror.
• 20:00
  SPEAKER_01: And so what happens in the in the narrative healing work that I do with folks is that we um we start with some, so I'll just kind of frame it from the the lens of unmothered.
• 20:14
  SPEAKER_01: So right now I am working with some folks, and there's a section in Unmothered where I say I carry grief in my pocket.
• 20:25
  SPEAKER_01: And then the second part of it, I carry poems in my pocket, the third part of it, I carry longing in my pocket.
• 20:30
  SPEAKER_01: And so that piece of writing can become the inspiration for another piece of writing that that uh someone that I work with does.
• 20:39
  SPEAKER_01: And we think about what do you carry in your pocket, right?
• 20:41
  SPEAKER_01: And I often use a lot of my own writing and my own experience to say, like, here's what I have to say about what it feels like to live in this body, this adopted body.
• 20:53
  SPEAKER_01: We often have a lot of shared conversations, and then we'll do some writing together, and then I'll listen to the writing, and I will reflect back, I'll jot down, you know, I write notes so that I because I pull out what I hear that I feel is significant and important, and then I'll reflect that back and I'll say, okay, there's this particular line here that feels really important for you, and to as a continued follow-up piece of writing.
• 21:22
  SPEAKER_01: So it's starting to pull all these little threads because what what we're working toward is developing a dialogue with ourselves first on paper, and a dialogue with all the parts of ourselves that need the help to integrate.
• 21:38
  SPEAKER_01: And and some of the most of this stuff is stuff that we've never had language for.
• 21:43
  SPEAKER_01: And so when we start to write and share, that's the part of the migrating toward wholeness process that's called breaking silences.
• 21:50
  SPEAKER_01: And the first way we break silences is by writing it out on paper, and then the second way is by practicing with with me one on one.
• 21:57
  SPEAKER_01: And so that's kind of the focus of the one on.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_01: On one is we we have that really and it's a relational opportunity for us to do some relational healing where I'm sharing my stories and my experiences.
• 22:10
  SPEAKER_01: You're sharing your stories and your experiences, we're pulling out writing prompts that are coming directly from your own experience so that we're attaching them to the internal feelings that you've never been able to meet.
• 22:24
  SPEAKER_00: Exactly.
• 22:25
  SPEAKER_01: And then you're leaving with additional work to do to continue to pull those threads even after the time we spend together.
• 22:33
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and what's interesting with my piece, and this is why we are so complementary of each other, is I work with the parts that you haven't been able to name yet.
• 22:42
  SPEAKER_00: So that that body memory that lives within those sensations from the times before you were actually adopted.
• 22:51
  SPEAKER_00: Now I don't go there right away with you, but that's really the goal is to be able to teach the adoptee nervous system that it's okay to pay attention to what their body is saying because we've never been taught that.
• 23:04
  SPEAKER_00: And yet that's where we started all of this.
• 23:06
  SPEAKER_00: That's where our trauma lives.
• 23:08
  SPEAKER_00: And so it's learning how to interact with that.
• 23:12
  SPEAKER_00: And whatever you bring, I interact with.
• 23:14
  SPEAKER_00: Similar to Liz, I feel like I'm kind of a big sister.
• 23:17
  SPEAKER_00: It's not like I'm some expert.
• 23:19
  SPEAKER_00: It's that I'm there to guide and pull you through and redirect you back to your body and help you begin to develop self-trust with what your body is saying and to stop ignoring it.
• 23:31
  SPEAKER_00: Because for me, that was a big issue.
• 23:33
  SPEAKER_00: I ignored it for years.
• 23:34
  SPEAKER_00: And I know you and I talked about this, Liz, that there was so much pain in my body that I held that I didn't understand.
• 23:42
  SPEAKER_00: But it was trying to speak to me for years.
• 23:44
  SPEAKER_00: And so once I learned the language of the body, it was this beautiful thing.
• 23:48
  SPEAKER_00: And I felt like healing came not quickly, but came a little bit quicker after that because I understood where it was coming from.
• 23:56
  SPEAKER_00: So so excited that we get yes, yes, yeah.
• 23:59
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 23:59
  SPEAKER_01: And then and then being able to take what those bodily sensations and put it into words.
• 24:06
  SPEAKER_01: And that's essentially why this whole retreat is is centered around unmothered.
• 24:12
  SPEAKER_01: Well, why it exists, but also why why we framed it around unmothered, because unmothered was really my exploration of how to put language to the experience of what it feels like to live in a body that has been impacted by adoption and trauma.
• 24:31
  SPEAKER_01: And and I and and to be able to recognize that while I was writing, all of that stuff started moving.
• 24:42
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 24:42
  SPEAKER_01: I had a very somatic experience while I was when I first wrote and performed the show.
• 24:48
  SPEAKER_01: And that was part of me making myself the subject of the research that is now migrating toward wholeness, why migrating toward wholeness exists, because I understood that when I started listening to what was going on in my body and then and then putting it down on paper and attaching language to it, I was moving it in the same way.
• 25:10
  SPEAKER_01: And so that's why these are complementary practices, because we're feeling it and then we're naming it.
• 25:17
  SPEAKER_00: Yep.
• 25:18
  SPEAKER_01: And then we're being, and so you know, Julie talked about her five C's earlier, what we're and then what we're sort of concurrently doing and what you'll experience over the course of the retreat weekend is what I call the four N's, which is notice, name, nurture, and next step.
• 25:33
  SPEAKER_01: And those things work together, right?
• 25:35
  SPEAKER_01: That we notice what's happening in our bodies, we name it, we put words to it, we nurture it, right?
• 25:40
  SPEAKER_01: We get curious, we don't judge it, we just okay, and then we take a next step, right?
• 25:45
  SPEAKER_01: And over the retreat weekend, the next step is it could be something like I'm gonna go in the hot tub now, right?
• 25:51
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm such a water person, that is always my my self-care, my nurturing thing is if I can get in water, I'm getting in water.
• 25:58
  SPEAKER_01: Um, so I'm actually super excited about that.
• 26:01
  SPEAKER_01: But this so there'll be opportunities for wrapping up in a soft blanket, taking a walk, jumping in the pool, taking a nap.
• 26:10
  SPEAKER_00: Yep, totally hanging out with y'all available too.
• 26:14
  SPEAKER_00: I know it's so cute.
• 26:14
  SPEAKER_00: Johnston, y'all, if you're watching, he's available, he's here, he's supporting us while we're talking.
• 26:19
  SPEAKER_00: It's wonderful.
• 26:21
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, so who is this for, Liz?
• 26:24
  SPEAKER_00: My experience, what I remember, and then you can tell me what your thoughts are.
• 26:29
  SPEAKER_00: It's it's pretty much for anybody.
• 26:31
  SPEAKER_00: It's it's for anybody who is just beginning to understand this or who has an established practice.
• 26:38
  SPEAKER_00: The groups that we are going to do are built intentionally so that everyone is held.
• 26:44
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 26:47
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 26:48
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, this this is for anyone who feels stuck.
• 26:53
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe you've been sitting in therapy for the last five or ten years.
• 26:58
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe you've tried to explain or share your story, maybe you haven't.
• 27:03
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe you've read a whole bunch of books, and something still doesn't feel right.
• 27:09
  SPEAKER_01: This is an opportunity for you to indulge your own curiosity and say, hmm, what what is making me stuck?
• 27:16
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe this is a way to get off stuck.
• 27:18
  SPEAKER_01: And literally, y'all, this is why I started migrating toward wholeness because I was very, very stuck.
• 27:23
  SPEAKER_01: And Julie and I talk about this all the time.
• 27:25
  SPEAKER_01: We have similar experiences that, you know, you you hit a point in your life, and all of a sudden things, oh, this this isn't working anymore.
• 27:33
  SPEAKER_01: I can't, I can't continue to wake up feeling this way.
• 27:36
  SPEAKER_01: So this is for anyone who who's waking up and feeling like, I don't know if I want to feel this way anymore.
• 27:42
  SPEAKER_01: We promised there is a way forward, and we're here to help get you on that path.
• 27:48
  SPEAKER_00: Yep, to guide you, be your big sister, like we were talking about for sure.
• 27:52
  SPEAKER_00: And I think an important thing that I want to uh single out is that this is not just a women's retreat.
• 28:01
  SPEAKER_00: But men are welcome.
• 28:03
  SPEAKER_00: We had men as a part of the pilot.
• 28:05
  SPEAKER_00: Actually, two of the five were.
• 28:07
  SPEAKER_00: So I do want to state though that there is limited male housing.
• 28:11
  SPEAKER_00: So early registration actually matters for men, and we're gonna talk about that in just a minute.
• 28:16
  SPEAKER_00: But what do you think, Liz, someone can expect to feel when they're walking out on Sunday?
• 28:24
  SPEAKER_00: My guess would be I know you and I have talked about this, but I want to hear your side that it's not a retreat high, right?
• 28:31
  SPEAKER_00: That it's this beginning of a new practice.
• 28:34
  SPEAKER_00: It has to do with the next step in your four N's and the consistency in my five C's, which I think is hilarious.
• 28:41
  SPEAKER_00: We're so, we're so well aligned.
• 28:42
  SPEAKER_00: But but what do you think someone can expect when they're walking out on Sunday?
• 28:50
  SPEAKER_01: I will, you know, quote what folks said they were leaving with in May, you know, and because I always ask, what are you arriving with?
• 29:01
  SPEAKER_01: And what are you leaving with?
• 29:03
  SPEAKER_01: And people arrived feeling hesitant, feeling unsure, feeling anxious, right?
• 29:10
  SPEAKER_01: Though those were all things that came up in the room, and they left feeling hopeful, they left feeling a sense of of more peace and more calm and like they had a way forward.
• 29:21
  SPEAKER_01: And so I can say that people will leave having a door opened for them and being able to see a little bit more of the path in front of them.
• 29:34
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, totally.
• 29:35
  SPEAKER_00: It'll be it'll be amazing to watch.
• 29:38
  SPEAKER_00: So I want to reiterate the details of the retreat for you guys.
• 29:42
  SPEAKER_00: These are the practicals.
• 29:43
  SPEAKER_00: So the dates are Friday, December 4th through Sunday, December 6th of this year.
• 29:49
  SPEAKER_00: And I actually want to talk a teensy bit about why we chose this.
• 29:54
  SPEAKER_00: Now, I was kind of against it, right, Liz?
• 29:58
  SPEAKER_00: Like initially I was like, December?
• 30:02
  SPEAKER_00: No, we can't do December.
• 30:04
  SPEAKER_00: But I, Liz, got me on board.
• 30:07
  SPEAKER_00: And why don't you explain why you felt like this was important?
• 30:11
  SPEAKER_01: So December felt really important for a few reasons.
• 30:15
  SPEAKER_01: Originally, as I was conceptualizing the next iteration of this, I um am pretty spiritual in terms of universal and astrological and planetary energies.
• 30:28
  SPEAKER_01: And the solstices felt really, really important for me.
• 30:33
  SPEAKER_01: I always uh do a lot of deep reflection in December around the solstice time.
• 30:38
  SPEAKER_01: It's always a time of slowing down for me and doing some self-reflective work and just recognizing what has happened throughout the year and and where I want to go and honoring the stillness of the season.
• 30:52
  SPEAKER_01: So that was that was good a thing one.
• 30:55
  SPEAKER_01: Thing two is that the holidays can be really hard for us as adopted people.
• 31:02
  SPEAKER_01: And so the beginning of December gives us an opportunity to take a pause after after the Thanksgiving holiday and before all of the December winter holidays, like Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, all of the things.
• 31:17
  SPEAKER_01: And give our the give ourselves a gift that we want, right?
• 31:23
  SPEAKER_01: Separate from family obligations, separate from all of the shoulds and and need to's and whatevers, right?
• 31:31
  SPEAKER_01: And so that felt that was the other thing that felt really important to me.
• 31:35
  SPEAKER_01: And and also just timing-wise, there are so many options for similar other alternative retreats in our community.
• 31:44
  SPEAKER_01: And we wanted to honor the fact that these things are happening in different months, and and we wanted to put something at a different time so that we're not competing.
• 31:57
  SPEAKER_01: There's enough space for all of us in this community to do the very beautiful and important work that we do.
• 32:03
  SPEAKER_01: But that's a little bit of why the December felt really important.
• 32:07
  SPEAKER_01: And then, of course, the other solstice is in June.
• 32:10
  SPEAKER_01: And so, hint hint, the next retreat after this one will be in June.
• 32:18
  SPEAKER_01: Stay tuned for that.
• 32:21
  unknown: Yep.
• 32:21
  SPEAKER_00: We want to keep you on the hook, y'all.
• 32:23
  SPEAKER_00: It's gonna be amazing.
• 32:25
  SPEAKER_00: I just want to reiterate the place.
• 32:26
  SPEAKER_00: It's at the Red Poppy Center for Renewal in Highland, Michigan, which is a little bit more centrally located than our last one, although Moscow is gorgeous.
• 32:34
  SPEAKER_00: So, what's included?
• 32:35
  SPEAKER_00: To reiterate this again: two nights lodging on site, every meal, all programming, your one-on-one sessions, uh, and even evening access to the pool, to the tub, whatever you want on the property.
• 32:49
  SPEAKER_00: It's one all-in-one price that covers your room every meal, like we just talked about, and your private session.
• 32:55
  SPEAKER_00: There's no hotel bill, there's no dinners out, there's no surprises, and registration details and pricing are all going to be in the link that is included in the show notes.
• 33:06
  SPEAKER_00: So FYI, it will all be there.
• 33:08
  SPEAKER_00: There are 14 spots total, and when they're gone, they're gone.
• 33:13
  SPEAKER_00: We are happy to have anybody register, and you can find it on the link, like I said, that will be in the show notes.
• 33:20
  SPEAKER_00: Liz is finishing all that up.
• 33:22
  SPEAKER_00: We have an old page from Moscow.
• 33:24
  SPEAKER_00: We're gonna add some new stuff to it for this.
• 33:26
  SPEAKER_00: It's gonna be great.
• 33:28
  SPEAKER_00: And so, really, really looking forward to that.
• 33:31
  SPEAKER_00: And to kind of wind us down here, and I'm gonna get one last word from Liz in a second, but there it is, y'all.
• 33:37
  SPEAKER_00: December 4th through 6th, Red Poppy Center in Michigan, 14 spots, one weekend, one place where you can be.
• 33:46
  SPEAKER_00: You don't have to explain yourself, prove yourself, or perform healing at all.
• 33:50
  SPEAKER_00: Everything you need to register will be at the link that I've mentioned twice already.
• 33:55
  SPEAKER_00: And if you're feeling something right now, a pull, a hesitation, could I really do this?
• 34:02
  SPEAKER_00: That is worth being curious about.
• 34:04
  SPEAKER_00: You can DM me on the socials or DM Liz.
• 34:07
  SPEAKER_00: Either one of us are totally happy to have a conversation with you.
• 34:10
  SPEAKER_00: You can also schedule a conversation with me if you'd like.
• 34:14
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, Liz, I'm sure, would be happy to do that as well.
• 34:16
  SPEAKER_00: We can talk about whether this retreat is right for where you are.
• 34:20
  SPEAKER_00: So, Liz, do you have any last words for the person who is on the fence?
• 34:24
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I mean, I always say to people that are on the fence, if your nervous system is pinging or something is bubbling up in your body, maybe your face feels hot, maybe your hands feel cold, maybe your chest is tingling.
• 34:35
  SPEAKER_01: That's information, right?
• 34:37
  SPEAKER_01: And you have to do a little bit of sitting with that.
• 34:40
  SPEAKER_01: But if if that's happening for you, or you're thinking, this this sounds really interesting, this feels like something I I maybe need, follow that impulse.
• 34:49
  SPEAKER_01: One of the one of the things that we are so good at as adoptees is learning to ignore our intuition and our instincts, right?
• 35:00
  SPEAKER_01: And so if something's coming up, that's an important message.
• 35:05
  SPEAKER_01: And and one of the biggest gifts I've given myself in my own healing journey has been to say yes to myself.
• 35:15
  SPEAKER_01: Even if even if I was scared.
• 35:17
  SPEAKER_01: So if you're on the fence and you're you have questions and you're curious and you're not sure, the first thing I would encourage you to do is, as Julie said, reach out to either one of or both of us so we can have a conversation, so we can answer any questions you have, talk about your curiosities.
• 35:34
  SPEAKER_01: And the second thing I would do is trust, you know, this is this is a little bit of an exercise in self-trust.
• 35:42
  SPEAKER_01: And so I would I would nudge you with a lot of love and care to say yes.
• 35:50
  SPEAKER_01: Because I sure wouldn't be here if I wasn't scared and didn't do it anyway.
• 35:56
  SPEAKER_00: Yep, exactly.
• 35:57
  SPEAKER_00: Yep.
• 35:58
  SPEAKER_00: That that's one of the things you said in our first episode when we talked about this is you can be scared, but do it anyway, because you don't know what's going to be on the other side of that.
• 36:06
  SPEAKER_00: And if I wouldn't have done things scared, I wouldn't be where I am today.
• 36:10
  SPEAKER_00: That risk usually means that on the other side there is a reward if you lean in it.
• 36:15
  SPEAKER_01: And one more thing, if you're an adoptee who is listening, or maybe you're not an adoptee, but you have a really kind and generous heart and you think that this is worthwhile work, and maybe this isn't for you, but you want to support another adoptee's healing.
• 36:31
  SPEAKER_01: We are always open and very welcoming of financial support for other adoptees.
• 36:38
  SPEAKER_01: And so if you want to fund an adoptee's retreat experience, feel free to just go ahead and purchase a spot and then make a note in the checkout that that's what you're doing, or reach out to one of us individually and let us know that you that you want a sponsor because there are adoptees in our community that don't have the financial means.
• 37:00
  SPEAKER_01: And whenever possible, it is really important to me and Julie to provide support.
• 37:08
  SPEAKER_01: And I wish I had millions of dollars to do it, but I know someone out there does.
• 37:14
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and and I would even add to that if you don't have the full means, that's fine too.
• 37:21
  SPEAKER_00: If you have a little bit extra and want to just donate a little bit, let us know.
• 37:25
  SPEAKER_00: And we will make that happen too, because that will help anybody to be able to attend.
• 37:30
  SPEAKER_00: And we want that so much.
• 37:31
  SPEAKER_00: Thanks, Liz, for bringing that up.
• 37:33
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 37:33
  SPEAKER_00: And as always, if this podcast has meant something to you, I always say this: a five-star review or a few written words help this work reach more adoptees and more people who love them, which is really important to me.
• 37:46
  SPEAKER_00: Because I want you to remember that you aren't alone in this journey.
• 37:50
  SPEAKER_00: You're never alone.
• 37:52
  SPEAKER_00: We've been there.
• 37:53
  SPEAKER_00: And I want to encourage you to stop outsourcing your belonging and begin to insource it.
• 37:58
  SPEAKER_00: And Liz and I will see you in December.
• 38:00
  SPEAKER_00: Have a wonderful Thursday, y'all.
• 38:02
  SPEAKER_00: Peace.