Latest / QUESTION EVERYTHING / How to Negotiate For More Money at Work + 3 Steps To Build Wealth (Spoiler: Not With Crypto) with Financial Expert Tori Dunlap

Transcript

How to Negotiate For More Money at Work + 3 Steps To Build Wealth (Spoiler: Not With Crypto) with Financial Expert Tori Dunlap · QUESTION EVERYTHING

0:04
Speaker 1: Big things happen when you're pretty, pretty bold, pretty clever,
0:08
Speaker 1: pretty strong. I'm Danielle Robe, and each week my guests
0:12
Speaker 1: and I have conversations that put a new spin on pretty.
0:17
Speaker 1: This is pretty smart. Today we're talking about money. It's
0:22
Speaker 1: a big topic. Right before I introduce our guest, who
0:28
Speaker 1: has such an interesting background and backstory, I'm going to
0:32
Speaker 1: tell you about my relationship with money. Several years ago,
0:36
Speaker 1: I am seed a rally for equal pay in Chicago,
0:40
Speaker 1: and as I was writing my introductory speech, I kept
0:43
Speaker 1: thinking about how we talk about sex more than money,
0:46
Speaker 1: we talk about food more than money, we talk about
0:49
Speaker 1: almost everything more than we talk about money, and yet
0:53
Speaker 1: money is so crucial to our lives. And writing that
0:58
Speaker 1: speech made me think about my own relationship with money.
1:02
Speaker 1: I've always felt kind of bewildered by it, and yet
1:05
Speaker 1: it doesn't feel good to not understand something that's so
1:08
Speaker 1: crucial to your well being in your life. I've always
1:10
Speaker 1: felt perplexed by money. I bought books that people recommended
1:14
Speaker 1: on podcasts that I never read because I just wasn't
1:16
Speaker 1: that interested. I obviously wanted to make money, but it
1:20
Speaker 1: seems like a full time job to keep it. Invest
1:23
Speaker 1: it think about it, and I liked my other full
1:26
Speaker 1: time job better. I like being a journalist, but am
1:29
Speaker 1: Seeing that rally and writing that speech made me think
1:33
Speaker 1: that I was done being bewildered by money. I heard
1:36
Speaker 1: those women on stage get up there and talk about
1:38
Speaker 1: money as giving you choice, and it changed my perspective.
1:43
Speaker 1: I'm still learning, I'm still asking questions, I'm still googling
1:46
Speaker 1: tons of things, but I've gotten better and I felt
1:50
Speaker 1: more in control of my life, more in control of
1:52
Speaker 1: my finances.
1:53
Speaker 2: Honestly, I want that for you.
1:55
Speaker 1: If you're bewildered, this episode is a great first step
1:59
Speaker 1: in the right direction. And if you feel like you
2:01
Speaker 1: have control over your relationship with money, this episode will
2:06
Speaker 1: still be really interesting, particularly because of our guest. So
2:10
Speaker 1: I've enlisted Tory Dunlap. After successfully saving one hundred thousand
2:15
Speaker 1: dollars at age twenty five, Toy quit her corporate job
2:19
Speaker 1: in marketing to fight for women's financial rights and success.
2:22
Speaker 2: She did it.
2:24
Speaker 1: She's helped over three million women make more spend less
2:28
Speaker 1: and feel financially confident.
2:30
Speaker 2: She's going to do it for us today.
2:32
Speaker 1: Also, so many of you have written in about negotiation
2:37
Speaker 1: and what to ask for how to ask, how to
2:39
Speaker 1: ask for a raise, and we get into that at
2:41
Speaker 1: the end of the episode.
2:43
Speaker 2: It's worth the wait, So Toy, your goal is to
2:47
Speaker 2: make women rich?
2:48
Speaker 1: Yes, your website says having a financial education is a
2:52
Speaker 1: woman's best form of protest. Why is getting money into
2:56
Speaker 1: women's hands so important?
2:58
Speaker 3: I think everything starts to change when women have more money.
3:04
Speaker 3: The more work and research and learning I've done, it's
3:08
Speaker 3: like peeling back layers of an onion, and you keep
3:12
Speaker 3: peeling layers and layers and layers, and you realize all
3:14
Speaker 3: of this is interwoven. So I'll just give you an example.
3:18
Speaker 3: We know about the wage gap, right seventy eight cents
3:21
Speaker 3: to a man's dollar, even worse if you're a woman
3:23
Speaker 3: of color. What we're not talking about, though, is that
3:26
Speaker 3: there's an investing gap. Women either wait longer to invest
3:29
Speaker 3: than men or don't invest at all, so we take
3:32
Speaker 3: less money and then it grows at a slower rate,
3:34
Speaker 3: and then, on average, women live seven years longer than
3:36
Speaker 3: men do, so taking less money growing at a slower rate,
3:39
Speaker 3: and then we're expected to live longer on that money.
3:42
Speaker 3: That impacts every aspect of our lives. The lack of money,
3:47
Speaker 3: the lack of growth in our money and then having
3:50
Speaker 3: to sustain ourselves longer means the potential to miss out
3:56
Speaker 3: on every single opportunity because you're making certain decisions. When
4:02
Speaker 3: we do give women money, we give them choice so
4:06
Speaker 3: you can leave a toxic situation you don't want to
4:09
Speaker 3: be in anymore. Ninety nine percent of domestic violence cases
4:12
Speaker 3: have some sort of financial abuse tied to them. That
4:15
Speaker 3: reason enough is why women need money, because they deserve
4:18
Speaker 3: to be in situations that they want to be in,
4:20
Speaker 3: rather than situations they're forced to be in. You can
4:24
Speaker 3: start a business when you have money, You can donate
4:26
Speaker 3: to causes you believe in. You can marry for love,
4:29
Speaker 3: not because you need financial security. You can have children
4:32
Speaker 3: or not have children. You can retire early, you can
4:36
Speaker 3: go on vacation, and you have all of these opportunities
4:39
Speaker 3: that are afforded to you when you have a financial foundation.
4:43
Speaker 3: And in a world, in a society and a system
4:47
Speaker 3: that actively does not want women to have money, I
4:50
Speaker 3: think the arguably our best form of protest is having
4:56
Speaker 3: money and having agency and having those choices.
4:59
Speaker 1: I love the idea of choice because I get asked
5:01
Speaker 1: a lot what is feminism? And Yeah, to me, I
5:04
Speaker 1: always say feminism is about choice, and so to think
5:08
Speaker 1: about money as playing into choice, I think is so important.
5:12
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, and I think again, all of these things
5:15
Speaker 3: are tied together, right, So it's I look at my
5:18
Speaker 3: own life and I am financially independent, meaning that I
5:22
Speaker 3: could stop working tomorrow if I wanted to, and I
5:24
Speaker 3: don't want to because I love what I do. But
5:27
Speaker 3: all of these opportunities open up to me. You know,
5:29
Speaker 3: I'm I have been traveling the world doing the digital
5:33
Speaker 3: nomad thing for almost a year now, and I can
5:36
Speaker 3: do that because I have the financial capacity to do so.
5:40
Speaker 3: I you know, we're recording this in the midst of,
5:43
Speaker 3: you know, the crisis in Ukraine. I can just donate
5:46
Speaker 3: money without even having to think about it, right, I
5:49
Speaker 3: get to build a business that employs people and gives
5:51
Speaker 3: people jobs. That's the fucking coolest thing for me. I've
5:54
Speaker 3: seen it in my own life, just the amount of
5:56
Speaker 3: confidence and stability and joy that money can provide. And
6:03
Speaker 3: I want that feeling for every single woman, the feeling
6:05
Speaker 3: I have now where I'm like, I'm going on dates
6:07
Speaker 3: and like if you feel intimidated or threatened by my
6:10
Speaker 3: confidence or by my financial stability. Well, then we're definitely
6:14
Speaker 3: not supposed to be together. Right, I again can fire
6:17
Speaker 3: a client that I don't want to work with or
6:19
Speaker 3: who doesn't share our values because we're not financially dependent
6:22
Speaker 3: on them. I have all of these options and all
6:26
Speaker 3: of these choices and all of this flexibility, and it's
6:28
Speaker 3: the fucking coolest thing.
6:30
Speaker 2: How do you think men and women view money differently?
6:33
Speaker 3: I think a lot of almost all of our money
6:36
Speaker 3: beliefs are conditioned into us. Right, So we know actually
6:40
Speaker 3: from the studies and the research that the majority of
6:43
Speaker 3: our money habits are cemented by age seven super early.
6:47
Speaker 2: What yes, age seven?
6:50
Speaker 3: Age seven?
6:51
Speaker 2: So I will remember stuff before seven, right, And.
6:54
Speaker 3: You can actually you asked me this before, like your
6:56
Speaker 3: first money memory. Right, If you think about the first
6:58
Speaker 3: time you had a conscious thought about money, that probably
7:01
Speaker 3: is a really good insight into how you view money now, right,
7:04
Speaker 3: or your relationship with money now.
7:06
Speaker 1: Huh.
7:06
Speaker 3: So for me, and I've told the story on my
7:08
Speaker 3: podcast before, is like the first time I remember thinking
7:11
Speaker 3: about money, I was saving to co see Annie the
7:14
Speaker 3: Musical because I was a theater nerd, and like I
7:17
Speaker 3: was putting my quarters that I found or like my
7:19
Speaker 3: pennies on the street into an Altoids tin because my
7:21
Speaker 3: parents told me, well, if you want something, you need
7:23
Speaker 3: to save for it. And so of course that makes
7:26
Speaker 3: sense with you know, me being able to save money
7:29
Speaker 3: and being able to you know know, Okay, I can't
7:31
Speaker 3: put that on a credit card if I can't afford it.
7:33
Speaker 3: When we think about even when we're you know, raising
7:39
Speaker 3: girls versus boys, we know again from studies, but also
7:43
Speaker 3: I'm sure you experienced this growing up. Boys are given
7:48
Speaker 3: the kind of toys boys are given are very like
7:50
Speaker 3: creative and very focused on on their own like self
7:55
Speaker 3: awareness or self assuredness, like legos. Right, It's like here,
8:00
Speaker 3: you're building, you're building something, right, you're building something, you
8:03
Speaker 3: have autonomy, you're owning something. Then you get to knock
8:06
Speaker 3: it down and do it again right or do it differently.
8:09
Speaker 3: And we value in boys that sort of creativity and
8:13
Speaker 3: that sort of like leadership kind of thinking. Right, and
8:17
Speaker 3: we build that actively in boys, even as young as
8:20
Speaker 3: like one, two three years old. For girls, what are
8:24
Speaker 3: we given. We're given easy bake ovens and dolls. We're
8:28
Speaker 3: literally telling and conditioning two year old girls to already
8:32
Speaker 3: be mothers, to already be caretakers, and we're not telling
8:36
Speaker 3: them that their value is in their initiative. We're telling
8:39
Speaker 3: them that their value is in caregiving nurturing exactly. So
8:45
Speaker 3: it's not so much again like I am making decisions
8:51
Speaker 3: in order to better myself, in order to better my opportunities.
8:54
Speaker 3: It is how can I care for somebody else? Which
8:56
Speaker 3: is beautiful and altruistic and I love that, but it's
8:58
Speaker 3: also it's a very different perspective. So when we talk
9:04
Speaker 3: about like how we think about money as a society
9:08
Speaker 3: and how that relates to gender, that's a perfect example
9:11
Speaker 3: of literally starting so early. Men are conditioned to be providers.
9:14
Speaker 3: They're conditioned to, you know, provide for themselves and then
9:17
Speaker 3: you know, eventually provide for their family if they have
9:20
Speaker 3: a family, and we actually benefit like they get benefits
9:23
Speaker 3: for doing that. They call it like the fatherhood benefit.
9:26
Speaker 2: Right, Yeah.
9:27
Speaker 1: I mean Hillary Clinton has the best sort of anecdote
9:30
Speaker 1: about that. She said when she was an attorney, she
9:32
Speaker 1: asked somebody how to decorate her office, and they said, well,
9:34
Speaker 1: if you're a man, put photos of your family up.
9:36
Speaker 2: And if you're a woman, make sure you don't have
9:38
Speaker 2: any photos of.
9:38
Speaker 3: Your right because then that altruism that we're conditioned to
9:43
Speaker 3: do hurts us in our careers, right, And there's no
9:47
Speaker 3: there's no winning when it comes to being a woman. Right.
9:49
Speaker 3: If you don't have children, it's like, what's wrong with her?
9:51
Speaker 3: And when you do have children, it's like, well, you
9:53
Speaker 3: can't dedicate your full time too, you know. So even again,
9:57
Speaker 3: how we view money is so early on of like,
10:00
Speaker 3: we are conditioning boys and men to want to build
10:04
Speaker 3: wealth and want to take that initiative and go out
10:06
Speaker 3: and be risk takers, and we're conditioning women to play
10:10
Speaker 3: it safe and to focus on other people's needs before
10:13
Speaker 3: our own. And it's not so much let's stop doing
10:17
Speaker 3: that with girls or with women, but let's do that
10:20
Speaker 3: more with boys and with men. Let's try to even
10:23
Speaker 3: it out, right, Let's give men more of the nurture
10:27
Speaker 3: of the nurturing, and let's give women more of the
10:30
Speaker 3: initiative and the focus on, you know, building something because
10:33
Speaker 3: it's beneficial for you as an individual.
10:36
Speaker 2: Your story is so wild.
10:39
Speaker 1: You saved one hundred thousand dollars by age twenty five. Yeah,
10:42
Speaker 1: you quit your corporate job in marketing to go down
10:45
Speaker 1: this path to help women learn about money become financially
10:49
Speaker 1: literate and successful. How much were you making that you
10:53
Speaker 1: were able to save one hundred thousand dollars by twenty five.
10:57
Speaker 3: Yeah, I will say first with my one hundred case
11:00
Speaker 3: a right, I'm the first to acknowledge I graduated debt
11:03
Speaker 3: free from college. It was a combination of me working
11:06
Speaker 3: three jobs on campus, getting a bunch of merit scholarships.
11:08
Speaker 3: But also my parents had saved a college fund for me.
11:11
Speaker 3: So I fully acknowledged that that would not have happened
11:13
Speaker 3: as quickly as it did if I had been straddled
11:15
Speaker 3: with student debt. And it wasn't again like my parents
11:18
Speaker 3: handed me a check. But it was very much a
11:20
Speaker 3: collaborative process of like, how are we collectively going to
11:23
Speaker 3: try to graduate college debt free? But huge privilege, huge
11:26
Speaker 3: privileged to go to college A and huge privilege B
11:29
Speaker 3: to have the ability to graduate debt free. So like
11:31
Speaker 3: to acknowledge that off the top first job out of school,
11:34
Speaker 3: I was making fifty five thousand pre tax. I got
11:37
Speaker 3: a raise. I got a twenty percent raise at my
11:39
Speaker 3: annual review. So what is that sixty six thousand? I
11:43
Speaker 3: left that job to go to another job. I ended
11:46
Speaker 3: up negotiating ten thousand dollars more than they wanted to
11:48
Speaker 3: pay me. I was making eighty thousand dollars, but for
11:50
Speaker 3: like ten weeks because that job ended up being the
11:53
Speaker 3: most toxic environment I've ever been in and had to
11:55
Speaker 3: quit without another job lined up. So for three months
11:58
Speaker 3: it was like two and a half months. Not only
12:00
Speaker 3: was I not earning money and contributing to one hundred k,
12:03
Speaker 3: but I was also spending the money in my emergency
12:05
Speaker 3: fund because I spent that time unemployed. And it's a
12:08
Speaker 3: huge and this is why I talk about the importance
12:11
Speaker 3: of emergency funds all the time. Was I was able
12:13
Speaker 3: to leave that talx again choices. I was able to
12:15
Speaker 3: leave that toxic situation that I didn't want to be
12:17
Speaker 3: in anymore, and that was causing me to cry myself
12:20
Speaker 3: to sleep at night and like really bad for my
12:22
Speaker 3: mental health because I had money, because I had the
12:25
Speaker 3: flexibility to leave. And then my third and last corporate job,
12:29
Speaker 3: I negotiated to make oh gosh, what was my first salary?
12:33
Speaker 3: Seventy thousand pre tax again and then after a year
12:37
Speaker 3: I got a tw ten percent raise I think to
12:40
Speaker 3: be up to seventy seven.
12:42
Speaker 2: How the hell did you save one hundred grand.
12:44
Speaker 3: Give me a second. There's an asterix. The asterix is
12:47
Speaker 3: that I had my side hustle, So I had her
12:50
Speaker 3: first hunderd k on the side, and that first year
12:53
Speaker 3: I made a good chunk of money doing social media
12:55
Speaker 3: on the side, so I was a social media marketer,
12:57
Speaker 3: and then I was also a freelance social media marketer
12:59
Speaker 3: for clients on the side. And actually I got that
13:01
Speaker 3: first client gig before I got my nine to five job,
13:04
Speaker 3: So after taxes and expenses, I was able to squirrel
13:07
Speaker 3: away that money. So I was saving a percentage of
13:10
Speaker 3: my nine to five income, right, I was saving at
13:12
Speaker 3: the peak, it was twenty seven percent of my take
13:14
Speaker 3: home pay. Wow, while also being able to, after taxes
13:18
Speaker 3: and expenses, put any money from my side hustle in now,
13:22
Speaker 3: twenty seventeen, twenty eighteen didn't make anything for my side hustle.
13:25
Speaker 3: But twenty sixteen twenty nineteen, we had pretty good years
13:27
Speaker 3: and I was able to scroll away a couple tens
13:30
Speaker 3: of thousands, maybe like ten twenty thousand, Yeah, maybe more
13:33
Speaker 3: than that, but yeah, So that's really what happened. So
13:35
Speaker 3: it was like banking good money, but like never made
13:40
Speaker 3: over one hundred k from my nine to five never
13:42
Speaker 3: made over eighty and then was able to scirrel away
13:45
Speaker 3: a little bit of money. On the side. I was
13:47
Speaker 3: also investing, so I had investing gains that weren't helping
13:52
Speaker 3: me earn money right due to compound interest. I was
13:54
Speaker 3: starting to invest when I was twenty two, so I
13:56
Speaker 3: had a couple of years of gains on some of
13:58
Speaker 3: that money. I was really folks on value based spending
14:01
Speaker 3: because I didn't want to deprive myself for three years
14:04
Speaker 3: trying to make this happen. So I still got to
14:06
Speaker 3: I traveled internationally, I still ate out, and I was
14:08
Speaker 3: really focused on spending my discretionary money on things that
14:11
Speaker 3: I really loved, and then like being really strict on
14:15
Speaker 3: everything else. I was like, I'm going to spend my
14:17
Speaker 3: hard earned money on the things that I really love,
14:19
Speaker 3: which was food and travel, and I'm really not going
14:22
Speaker 3: to spend much money outside of that. And then the
14:24
Speaker 3: goal was one hundred k before my twenty sixth birthday,
14:27
Speaker 3: so I could say it counted as long as I
14:28
Speaker 3: did it the day before I turned twenty six accounted,
14:30
Speaker 3: so it was one hundred k at twenty five years
14:32
Speaker 3: and three months.
14:33
Speaker 2: That is really awesome.
14:34
Speaker 3: Thank you. I appreciate it.
14:35
Speaker 2: I'm difficult to do.
14:37
Speaker 3: It was privileged knowledge, but it was also hard work.
14:40
Speaker 3: That's why I mean, that was the origin story for
14:41
Speaker 3: her first hunder k. And it was also it wasn't
14:46
Speaker 3: when we started the company. When I started the company,
14:47
Speaker 3: it wasn't about you know her first hundred k saved
14:51
Speaker 3: or you know her for you know her second or
14:53
Speaker 3: six hundred k. It was very much We wanted it
14:55
Speaker 3: to be flexible. We wanted it to be geared towards
14:57
Speaker 3: women or women identifying people, and we wanted to show
15:00
Speaker 3: you that it was not only of course you just
15:03
Speaker 3: getting started with your first, but it could be whatever
15:05
Speaker 3: hundred k you wanted, hundred k debt paid off, hunder
15:07
Speaker 3: k saved, huner k, invested, hunder k net worth, hundre
15:09
Speaker 3: k in your business right. And so we purposely made
15:12
Speaker 3: it as flexible to you know, people's lives as possible.
15:15
Speaker 1: Do you have a specific philosophy about money and wealth
15:20
Speaker 1: that you can share.
15:21
Speaker 3: Personal finance is personal. Now, there are some very specific
15:28
Speaker 3: things like I don't care how much money you make,
15:30
Speaker 3: I don't care your background, I don't care anything anything else.
15:33
Speaker 3: You need to have an emergency fund first, Like, there
15:36
Speaker 3: are certain principles that I like think are blanket statements
15:41
Speaker 3: or blanket rules, but I do think so much. A
15:43
Speaker 3: personal finance advice that has become popular is like, you
15:47
Speaker 3: have to save twenty percent of your income, right, or
15:49
Speaker 3: you shouldn't be buying again lattes right, or whatever, this
15:53
Speaker 3: systemic sexist bullshit advice is right, Like, the truth is
15:58
Speaker 3: you can buy a five dollars a lot hey at
16:00
Speaker 3: Starbucks and still have other theory or still be able
16:05
Speaker 3: to save an emergency fund.
16:07
Speaker 2: It's also not the reason you can't afford the house.
16:09
Speaker 3: To say, yes, that was literally my colon. It is
16:12
Speaker 3: also not the reason you can't afford house, because the
16:14
Speaker 3: reason you can't afford a house is systomic oppression and
16:17
Speaker 3: rising home prices and stagnating wages and student debt. Like,
16:22
Speaker 3: there are many reasons you can't afford that house, and
16:24
Speaker 3: it's not because you spent If you buy a five
16:26
Speaker 3: dollars latte every day, that's about eighteen hundred dollars in
16:28
Speaker 3: a year. That's not the reason you can't put a
16:31
Speaker 3: twenty percent down payment on a million dollar house. And
16:33
Speaker 3: I get those people in TikTok, who are like, what
16:35
Speaker 3: are you doing spending a million dollars. I'm like, if
16:37
Speaker 3: you want a house in Seattle, which is where I'm from,
16:39
Speaker 3: if you want a house a two bedroom, two bath,
16:42
Speaker 3: maybe even three bedroom, that is like nice, you will
16:45
Speaker 3: pay a million dollars. And you live in Los Angeles,
16:47
Speaker 3: you know you will pay a million dollars. And yes,
16:51
Speaker 3: I could move to the middle of nowhere. My community
16:53
Speaker 3: is in Seattle. So for me, when I talk about
16:56
Speaker 3: personal finance is personal. Every person, every single person has
17:02
Speaker 3: their own unique trauma around money. They have their own
17:06
Speaker 3: unique motivations around money, they have their own hang ups,
17:09
Speaker 3: they have all of these things around money that are
17:11
Speaker 3: very unique to them. Again, there are things there are
17:14
Speaker 3: like certain principles that are going to apply to everybody,
17:17
Speaker 3: and I don't want you using personal finance as personal
17:20
Speaker 3: as a way to like blow those principles off, because
17:23
Speaker 3: I do hear that a lot too, where it's like, oh, well,
17:24
Speaker 3: I have student debts, so that's not gonna work for me,
17:26
Speaker 3: And I was like, no, like, you need an emergency
17:28
Speaker 3: fund first, Like, even if you have two hundred and
17:29
Speaker 3: fifty thousand dollars a student debt, like you need an
17:31
Speaker 3: emergency fund first. Yeah, but I think that a lot
17:34
Speaker 3: of personal finance fails to acknowledge nuance, and it's either
17:38
Speaker 3: you're rich because you're you know, you're rich because you
17:40
Speaker 3: did this, or you're poor because you did this. And
17:42
Speaker 3: it's like there is so much more gray area than that,
17:45
Speaker 3: so acknowledging that everybody's gonna have their own motivations for things,
17:49
Speaker 3: everybody's gonna have their own perspective. I think we just
17:52
Speaker 3: need more of that. We need a lot less shame
17:55
Speaker 3: and a lot less judgment, and a lot more understanding
17:57
Speaker 3: that every person's financial situation is going to be to them.
18:01
Speaker 1: It sounds like when you were growing up, you had
18:04
Speaker 1: a relationship with money that was seemingly healthy, You thought
18:07
Speaker 1: about saving. Is there any sort of memory or trauma
18:12
Speaker 1: that you had around money.
18:14
Speaker 3: I wouldn't call it trauma because it wasn't a bad thing,
18:16
Speaker 3: but it manifested in a really interesting way. So my
18:21
Speaker 3: hopefully last ever corporate job, I came to like the
18:24
Speaker 3: precipice where it was either I basically I had to
18:27
Speaker 3: quit to run my business, or like I had to
18:30
Speaker 3: almost quit my business. I don't want to expose all
18:34
Speaker 3: that drama. But basically what happened was it was it
18:38
Speaker 3: was to the point where it was like, the universe
18:40
Speaker 3: is forcing me to quit my job, like it's time.
18:43
Speaker 3: Yet I thought this was the riskiest decision in the world.
18:47
Speaker 3: I had a hunter k in the bank, I had
18:49
Speaker 3: a business that was already profitable and gaining traction, and
18:52
Speaker 3: I literally had just come off in appearance on Good
18:54
Speaker 3: Morning in America. But I was told by my parents,
18:58
Speaker 3: who were super well mean, that's not the stable choice
19:02
Speaker 3: to be an entrepreneur. And I can't blame them for
19:06
Speaker 3: that because I was their investment. I was one hundred
19:09
Speaker 3: percent their investment, and so they made really smart, frugal,
19:13
Speaker 3: stable choices in order to create a good life for me.
19:17
Speaker 3: My dad has always wanted to be an entrepreneur and
19:20
Speaker 3: has never been able to and it's really cool that
19:22
Speaker 3: I now get to go do that. But he sacrificed
19:26
Speaker 3: that dream because he's like, I need the four one K,
19:28
Speaker 3: I need the health insurance because I need to make
19:31
Speaker 3: sure I'm taking care of my family. And so when
19:35
Speaker 3: I was faced with this decision, I called my parents
19:39
Speaker 3: up and they're like, you can't quit your job, like
19:41
Speaker 3: you need to have your form, like, hey, you need
19:42
Speaker 3: to have your health insurance, Like, what are you gonna do?
19:45
Speaker 3: I was so worried, and I was because it wasn't
19:48
Speaker 3: the stable choice. It felt very risky for me. And
19:52
Speaker 3: I grew up again in a household that was that
19:54
Speaker 3: made really stable.
19:55
Speaker 2: Choices so risk adverse.
19:57
Speaker 3: Yeah, well, and that felt risky, even though again all
20:01
Speaker 3: of these other things were lined up because whether we
20:04
Speaker 3: like it or not, Like, the cool part about the
20:06
Speaker 3: nine to five is that it's pretty fucking consistent. Yeah,
20:09
Speaker 3: you know, you know you're gonna get a paycheck, you know,
20:13
Speaker 3: and you know when that paycheck's coming, assuming again, you
20:15
Speaker 3: do your work, but you have your health insurance, hopefully
20:18
Speaker 3: you have your benefits you have Okay, I know I'm
20:21
Speaker 3: showing up at the same office with the same people.
20:23
Speaker 3: I know vaguely what my day is gonna look like today.
20:26
Speaker 3: Entrepreneurship is not that, and I fucking love it, Like
20:29
Speaker 3: I love this. I one hundred percent think I made
20:31
Speaker 3: the right decision a million times over. But like at
20:33
Speaker 3: that precipice, it was really scary because I grew up
20:36
Speaker 3: in a family that made it stay.
20:38
Speaker 1: Just like the story that you had heard around money
20:40
Speaker 1: I guess yeah.
20:41
Speaker 3: And again, my well meaning parents, I'm calling them up
20:44
Speaker 3: as a twenty five year old and I'm like, I
20:46
Speaker 3: think it's time, Like it's gotten toxic in my nine
20:49
Speaker 3: to five. They don't like it that I have money.
20:50
Speaker 2: How are you been working for four years?
20:53
Speaker 3: Yeah? Now, that literally was it. Yeah, And I think
20:55
Speaker 3: part of it too, because they come from a different generations,
20:58
Speaker 3: they were like, you haven't, like I don't. They never
21:00
Speaker 3: said this to me, but I think part of it
21:01
Speaker 3: was like, you haven't earned entrepreneurship yet. I'm putting that quote,
21:04
Speaker 3: like you haven't earned this yet. Yeah, you went in
21:06
Speaker 3: the corporate world for yeah, like three years.
21:07
Speaker 2: I understand that thought, Yeah totally.
21:09
Speaker 3: And so yeah, it felt riskier to me. And it
21:12
Speaker 3: was also again this like very positive thing. If I
21:16
Speaker 3: would have listened to it, it would have very negatively
21:18
Speaker 3: impacted me because I make way more money now than
21:20
Speaker 3: I did then, and again I get to give people
21:23
Speaker 3: jobs and I get to grow this thing that I
21:25
Speaker 3: care so much about and it's exploded. But if I
21:28
Speaker 3: had if I had believed that of like, Okay, this
21:31
Speaker 3: is the stable option, so I need to take it,
21:33
Speaker 3: my life would be very different right now.
21:35
Speaker 1: There's a quote on your website that you say, there's
21:37
Speaker 1: too much inspiration porn out there. People tell you to
21:40
Speaker 1: dream big and hustle hard, and no one tells you
21:42
Speaker 1: how to get there. That's like the biggest issue around
21:46
Speaker 1: any financial show that I've seen, and I've actually found
21:50
Speaker 1: better help online, like on YouTube, because it's just more
21:55
Speaker 1: like slow and thoughtful.
21:57
Speaker 3: I think it's also beyond finance. It's a problem very specifically,
22:02
Speaker 3: I think in and I don't use the word empowerment
22:04
Speaker 3: for a lot of reasons, but in the women's empowerment movement, like.
22:09
Speaker 2: The eg Girl Boss movement, I would, but not even that.
22:12
Speaker 3: Just like if you go to a conference right and now,
22:16
Speaker 3: as somebody who is getting asked to speak at keynotes,
22:19
Speaker 3: a keynote speech is very much not actionable. The big
22:24
Speaker 3: speech of like the big person that you want to
22:27
Speaker 3: hear from, right that's probably been paid the most, that
22:29
Speaker 3: probably has, you know, either the most followers and the
22:32
Speaker 3: most notoriety or whatever. The person who's speaking that's the
22:35
Speaker 3: headliner for that event is probably going to give you
22:38
Speaker 3: the least amount of actual information because their whole job
22:41
Speaker 3: at that conference apparently is to just like hype you up.
22:44
Speaker 3: But then what happens? Right, It's like eating candy? Is
22:47
Speaker 3: you like cool? I ate candy, and now I'm all
22:48
Speaker 3: in a sugar high, right as you get so excited,
22:50
Speaker 3: and then you leave the conference and like two days
22:52
Speaker 3: later you go, okay, but now what I have cool?
22:57
Speaker 3: I'm hyped up, I'm excited, I'm inspired, and that is important.
23:00
Speaker 3: I do a lot of that, but it has to
23:02
Speaker 3: be coupled with what now. Please don't just hype me
23:06
Speaker 3: up and leave me at the cliff's edge without giving
23:08
Speaker 3: me a parachute for when I jump off, Like right,
23:11
Speaker 3: that's not helpful.
23:12
Speaker 2: Which is why you have those great programs that you
23:14
Speaker 2: can sign up for.
23:14
Speaker 3: I hope. So I think I think they we know
23:16
Speaker 3: they help, right, And so that's why I can't. And
23:19
Speaker 3: it's also a lot of this, like hype doesn't acknowledge again,
23:22
Speaker 3: any of the nuance, any of the systemic oppression, any
23:25
Speaker 3: of this. So like the inspiration porn of just like
23:27
Speaker 3: you just need to work hard. No, No, the single
23:30
Speaker 3: mom who's working really hard but can't afford to pay rent,
23:33
Speaker 3: that's not her issue. Her issue is not she's you
23:36
Speaker 3: know that she's not working hard enough. Yeah, so yeah,
23:38
Speaker 3: and I feel a lot of again like inspirational media,
23:43
Speaker 3: a lot of you know, keynote speakers, a lot of
23:46
Speaker 3: you know, life coaches are selling you on this feeling
23:51
Speaker 3: that has to be coupled with specific steps in order
23:55
Speaker 3: to make it a lifestyle, right, or in order to
23:57
Speaker 3: actually implement what they're saying, as opposed to just typing
24:01
Speaker 3: you up and leaving you dry.
24:02
Speaker 1: You interviewed Sally Krautchek, who is one of the women
24:06
Speaker 1: that first got me interested in money too. Me too,
24:09
Speaker 1: I really really admire, and you guys had a great
24:11
Speaker 1: conversation everyone should listen to that.
24:13
Speaker 3: She was very influential in the way I view money
24:16
Speaker 3: and my work.
24:17
Speaker 1: Me too, not my work, but money. And you guys
24:20
Speaker 1: talked about the wage gap. But what I found so
24:23
Speaker 1: interesting is that you mentioned the investing gap and then
24:26
Speaker 1: the wealth gap.
24:28
Speaker 2: So why is the wealth gap left out of the conversation.
24:31
Speaker 3: Yeah, when I had argue the investment gap is too
24:33
Speaker 3: back to my point earlier, I think, one again, it's
24:36
Speaker 3: not well. I would even argue the wealth gap is
24:38
Speaker 3: like very layered, right, And we were talking about this
24:41
Speaker 3: on my show, where it's like, okay, it's you know,
24:45
Speaker 3: maybe women not negotiating as much, but also if they
24:48
Speaker 3: do negotiate, being denied those opportunities, no access to paid leave,
24:52
Speaker 3: the expectations societally that women are the people who are
24:55
Speaker 3: taking care of children, are aging family members. Right, there's
24:57
Speaker 3: a lot of reasons why the wage gap exists. I
25:00
Speaker 3: think with the investing gap and the wage gap, they're
25:04
Speaker 3: again these these these sorts of systems and the sorts
25:08
Speaker 3: of like environments that exist are just a lot of
25:13
Speaker 3: men who are telling you actively that these things are
25:17
Speaker 3: too hard, so you shouldn't do them, like a investments
25:20
Speaker 3: do complicated, don't do it right. One. They do that
25:24
Speaker 3: to keep you out, to actively keep you out because
25:28
Speaker 3: they don't see they see it as a threat to
25:30
Speaker 3: themselves rather than an invitation of like cool, when more
25:32
Speaker 3: people have wealth, that doesn't mean I don't get to
25:34
Speaker 3: have wealth. It just means more equity.
25:37
Speaker 1: Right.
25:38
Speaker 3: So that's the one first thing is like they see
25:41
Speaker 3: it as a threat to their own wealth and their
25:43
Speaker 3: own power. And the second thing is it makes them
25:46
Speaker 3: feel smart to act like the shit is complicated, because
25:49
Speaker 3: if they're like, oh, picking stocks is so complicated, I'm like,
25:52
Speaker 3: it's not. It's not complicated A and B. I don't
25:55
Speaker 3: pick stocks. I own two individual stocks. The rest I
25:59
Speaker 3: have in index funds, which are very unsexy. Like that
26:02
Speaker 3: is my investment strategy is consistent, stable over a long
26:05
Speaker 3: period of time, very not sexy. And so but if
26:09
Speaker 3: you if you were told that it's too intimidate, that
26:12
Speaker 3: you know it feels intimidating us to complicate it, you
26:14
Speaker 3: won't do it. And again when I was talking about
26:18
Speaker 3: it earlier, if we're getting paid less money, of course
26:21
Speaker 3: we have less money to invest. But also we're living longer.
26:26
Speaker 3: More women live in poverty after dage of sixty five
26:29
Speaker 3: than men do. And we also, unfortunately in a twenty
26:33
Speaker 3: first century twenty twenty two society, if you're in a
26:36
Speaker 3: heteronormative relationship, men are handling the wealth building. Women are
26:40
Speaker 3: doing the budgeting, they're doing the coupon clipping, they're doing
26:42
Speaker 3: the grocery shopping. Men are handling the real estate and
26:46
Speaker 3: the investments. So that if you separate, if you divorce,
26:51
Speaker 3: which is all too common, women are getting none of
26:54
Speaker 3: that or very little, or they have no idea how
26:56
Speaker 3: to implement that for themselves. They start over at thirty
26:59
Speaker 3: four fifty years old. So again, we could talk about
27:02
Speaker 3: this for hours. But the budgeting so important, The saving
27:07
Speaker 3: pay off debt is so important. Investing is where you
27:11
Speaker 3: build wealth, like that is where we build wealth. So
27:15
Speaker 3: part of my work is, yes, let's teach you how
27:18
Speaker 3: to budget. But we literally started this year an investing
27:20
Speaker 3: platform and investing education platform because we didn't think anybody
27:24
Speaker 3: else was doing it very well. So we were like, okay,
27:27
Speaker 3: we're not only going to teach you how to invest,
27:30
Speaker 3: We're actually going to have you invest live on our workshop.
27:34
Speaker 1: In your opinion, what's the most common mistake people make
27:36
Speaker 1: of that money.
27:38
Speaker 3: We know from again research that women are really good savers,
27:44
Speaker 3: but we won't invest at the same rate, or we'll
27:46
Speaker 3: wait to invest because again, it feels really scary and
27:49
Speaker 3: it feels very intimidating. So the money doesn't even beat
27:54
Speaker 3: inflation if it's just sitting in a savings account. Now,
27:57
Speaker 3: savings are great for things like an emergency fund or
27:59
Speaker 3: short term goals, but like, you have to invest, You
28:03
Speaker 3: have to invest. You will not be able to afford
28:06
Speaker 3: to stop working some tape you do not invest. So
28:10
Speaker 3: I see that as a mistake specifically for a woman.
28:12
Speaker 3: Is this this like trying to get them to start
28:18
Speaker 3: climbing the investing staircase. Just that first step is like
28:20
Speaker 3: twenty feet high.
28:21
Speaker 2: What do you think that people who build wealth get.
28:23
Speaker 3: Right investing as soon as they can, even if it's
28:27
Speaker 3: just a small amount of money. I think that's the
28:29
Speaker 3: other common narrative I hear a lot is like I
28:30
Speaker 3: don't have a lot of money to invest. You need
28:32
Speaker 3: like twenty bucks, And if you only have twenty bucks
28:35
Speaker 3: one time, it's better than not doing anything at all.
28:37
Speaker 3: Because of compound interest, compound interest, meeting your interest is
28:41
Speaker 3: earning interest, right, So time is more important than the
28:44
Speaker 3: amount of money. My original one hundred k, if I
28:46
Speaker 3: never contributed another penny, which I didn't do, but if
28:48
Speaker 3: I had never contributed again, if I had never invested
28:52
Speaker 3: another dollar, that one hundred k will be over one
28:54
Speaker 3: point five million at sixty five years old. Yeah, because
28:57
Speaker 3: of compound interest.
28:59
Speaker 1: But that's because you do it before thirty. There's all
29:01
Speaker 1: these articles you read.
29:02
Speaker 3: Yes, but even if you're getting started when you're thirty
29:04
Speaker 3: one or forty.
29:05
Speaker 2: Yeah, you have to start right, You have to start.
29:08
Speaker 2: Time is on your side.
29:09
Speaker 3: I always say the best day to start investing is
29:11
Speaker 3: today because you didn't wait to start tomorrow.
29:13
Speaker 2: It's true.
29:14
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean Einstein called compound interest the age under
29:16
Speaker 1: of the world. Yeah, it's real.
29:19
Speaker 3: Yeah.
29:19
Speaker 1: So say I have one hundred dollars today that I
29:22
Speaker 1: can invest, save, do something with.
29:25
Speaker 2: What do you recommend I do?
29:26
Speaker 3: Yeah? So I have a whole episode called the financial
29:28
Speaker 3: game Plan on our podcast Financial Feminist that walks you
29:31
Speaker 3: through this. But really it's like what to do in
29:33
Speaker 3: what order? Number One priority is an emergency fund should
29:36
Speaker 3: be about three months of living expenses in a high
29:38
Speaker 3: yield savings account. Two is to pay off your high
29:41
Speaker 3: interest debt. Typically that's credit cards. Anything over seven percent
29:44
Speaker 3: interest credit cards. Average credit card interest rate is nineteen percent.
29:48
Speaker 3: That's costing you a shit ton of money, even if
29:50
Speaker 3: you have something like student debt or mortgage that is
29:52
Speaker 3: more in terms of like you took more money out
29:55
Speaker 3: on a loan. So maybe you took out one hundred
29:57
Speaker 3: thousand dollars to student loans, but you only have five
29:59
Speaker 3: thousand dollars at card card debt. Your five thousand dollars.
30:01
Speaker 3: A credit card debt is costing you way more money
30:04
Speaker 3: because it has a higher interest rate, So you need
30:06
Speaker 3: to work to pay that down, So get rid of debt,
30:08
Speaker 3: get rid of credit card debt specifically, or high interest debt.
30:11
Speaker 3: Your third Your third step is to start saving for
30:15
Speaker 3: retirement while paying down that lower interest debt. But saving
30:18
Speaker 3: for retirement should take precedent. And then I do like
30:20
Speaker 3: a three and four combo situation where you're saving for retirement,
30:23
Speaker 3: you're paying down your lower interest debt, typically student loans, mortgages,
30:26
Speaker 3: car loans, and then you're also starting to save for
30:28
Speaker 3: what I call the big stuff, buying a house, having children,
30:32
Speaker 3: starting a business, getting married, taking a kick ass, vacation whatever.
30:36
Speaker 2: That looks like a laundry machine.
30:37
Speaker 3: Sure, yeah, sure, yeah, a laundry mat. I don't know.
30:42
Speaker 1: I just always joke. I'm like, I can't believe how
30:44
Speaker 1: much a refrigerator.
30:45
Speaker 3: Costs so much money.
30:46
Speaker 2: So like those things you don't much money think about, okay.
30:49
Speaker 3: Or a really good couch. Why are good couches like
30:51
Speaker 3: twenty five hundred dollars. It's a lot of money, so
30:53
Speaker 3: much money for a couch. Mine is from Facebook market Place.
30:56
Speaker 3: I've got a girl. That's great.
30:58
Speaker 1: So real estate is one of the traditional ways that
31:00
Speaker 1: people have built wealth, but for a lot of millennials,
31:03
Speaker 1: that's just not possible at the moment. What are some
31:06
Speaker 1: other ways we can think about building wealth that's outside
31:09
Speaker 1: of the housing market.
31:10
Speaker 3: Yeah, great question one. Investing. I'm going to sound like
31:12
Speaker 3: a you can take a shot every time I say
31:14
Speaker 3: the word investing, Yeah, and you're going to be drunk
31:16
Speaker 3: off your ass. But like it's true investing, investing, And
31:19
Speaker 3: also that happens pretty passively, right, so you can put
31:21
Speaker 3: money in and that grows for you again for the
31:24
Speaker 3: rest of time if you let it, without you having
31:26
Speaker 3: to do much work. So investing getting a secondary source
31:29
Speaker 3: of income, right, So maybe that is investing. Maybe that's
31:33
Speaker 3: your interest on your high yield savings account, or maybe
31:35
Speaker 3: that is something like a side hustle or you know,
31:37
Speaker 3: a freelance gig or something like that. Increase your income
31:40
Speaker 3: by either getting out of a situation that is not
31:42
Speaker 3: compensating you well or negotiating your pay. You should be
31:46
Speaker 3: negotiating your pay every single time you go to a
31:49
Speaker 3: new job, and every single time you have an annual
31:51
Speaker 3: review at your company. That's expected the companies expect you
31:55
Speaker 3: to negotiate.
31:56
Speaker 1: I actually hear a lot of times that companies try
31:58
Speaker 1: and push reviews. I have a lot of friends who
32:00
Speaker 1: are like, my review is supposed to be like three
32:02
Speaker 1: months ago, six months ago.
32:03
Speaker 3: So yeah, and even for me where I like, feedback
32:08
Speaker 3: is really hard for me, criticism is really hard for me.
32:10
Speaker 3: And if you're that person, I totally see you. Please
32:13
Speaker 3: please get your annual review because yes, you will probably
32:16
Speaker 3: get some feedback about things you can do better. You
32:18
Speaker 3: will also, hopefully if your boss is nice, get some
32:20
Speaker 3: good some good feedback. And it's also the opportunity to
32:24
Speaker 3: have a conversation about your compensation. Yeah, we have a
32:26
Speaker 3: whole course that teaches you how to do it's called
32:28
Speaker 3: navigating negotiation. But really, when it comes down to it,
32:31
Speaker 3: like if you're in an environment that is not seeing
32:34
Speaker 3: your value and you either need to work to have
32:39
Speaker 3: them see your value, but don't push it too hard
32:41
Speaker 3: because if they're not, then you need to get out,
32:43
Speaker 3: Like you need to find something better, because I promise
32:45
Speaker 3: you something better.
32:46
Speaker 1: So when I left my Chicago job, it wasn't the
32:48
Speaker 1: totally wrong thing to don't think, so okay.
32:50
Speaker 3: No loyalty. That's the other thing I hear a lot,
32:52
Speaker 3: especially from women, is like, yeah, but like I don't
32:54
Speaker 3: want to be a job hopper. And loyalty is important.
32:56
Speaker 3: With all the love in the world, I need to
32:59
Speaker 3: tell you your company doesn't. Your company doesn't care about
33:02
Speaker 3: you like they do, but they don't. They will like
33:05
Speaker 3: they'll lay you off, they'll cut your hours, they'll you know, they.
33:09
Speaker 2: Will do what they have to do even if they
33:10
Speaker 2: do care. So you need to.
33:12
Speaker 3: Do the same thing. You need to do what you
33:14
Speaker 3: have to do even if you do care. And loyalty.
33:18
Speaker 3: We know you will earn more money, especially as like
33:22
Speaker 3: a millennial or agency. You will earn more money by
33:24
Speaker 3: job hopping because every two three years you're going to
33:27
Speaker 3: be renegotiating, guaranteed, because you have more negotiating power when
33:32
Speaker 3: you come into a new job than you ever do
33:35
Speaker 3: throughout your entire tenure of employment at that position.
33:38
Speaker 2: It's a really important point. Cryptocurrency.
33:41
Speaker 3: Yuck.
33:43
Speaker 2: What do we think?
33:44
Speaker 3: Yuck?
33:44
Speaker 2: Why yuck?
33:45
Speaker 3: I mean, I was trying.
33:46
Speaker 2: You have honestly only a few minutes.
33:48
Speaker 3: YEA one super BROI super BROI. And it's actually really
33:53
Speaker 3: interesting because the way I feel about investing where I'm
33:55
Speaker 3: like more women please, is the like and women tell
33:58
Speaker 3: me like it feels too intimate that how I feel
34:00
Speaker 3: about cryto where I'm just like, Oh, I want to
34:01
Speaker 3: deal with the finance, bros.
34:03
Speaker 2: Here's the thing about crypto.
34:05
Speaker 3: Are you about to crypto? Explain me?
34:06
Speaker 2: No, no, go.
34:07
Speaker 1: The one benefit I've seen is that it makes young
34:10
Speaker 1: people men and women interested in money, and so that's
34:14
Speaker 1: sort of the gateway.
34:15
Speaker 3: I'm here for that. However, the ninety nine point ninety
34:20
Speaker 3: percent of people who ask me about something like crypto
34:22
Speaker 3: or NFTs.
34:24
Speaker 2: They think of it as an investment, and it's not
34:26
Speaker 2: at this point A.
34:27
Speaker 3: Yes, these are speculative, meaning. The rule of thumb that
34:33
Speaker 3: most experts will tell you is that if you want
34:34
Speaker 3: to invest in something speculative, it should be like five
34:37
Speaker 3: percent of your total portfolio A and B. Most of
34:41
Speaker 3: these people don't have a portfolio to begin with. So
34:44
Speaker 3: if you're asking me about crypto or NFTs or anything
34:47
Speaker 3: like that's new and up and coming, that's like personal
34:49
Speaker 3: finance four A one. Shit. If you have not mastered
34:52
Speaker 3: personal finance one on one, you do not get to
34:54
Speaker 3: pass go. You do not get to collect one hundred
34:56
Speaker 3: dollars two hundred dollars monopoly. But that's the thing is
35:00
Speaker 3: I see a lot of people is it's like my
35:02
Speaker 3: next follow up question is like, are you investing in
35:05
Speaker 3: their four O one K? And they're like no, and
35:07
Speaker 3: I'm like, okay, no, no, no, Like yeah, if I
35:10
Speaker 3: I don't know if I'm learning, if I'm learning to
35:12
Speaker 3: figure skate, I need to learn just how to move
35:15
Speaker 3: on the ice before I can, you know, do a
35:17
Speaker 3: triple axle right right. And if you're coming to me
35:20
Speaker 3: and you're asking me, hey, what about crypto and you
35:24
Speaker 3: can't even ice skate.
35:25
Speaker 2: Like, we're not gonna know for fifteen years if crypto
35:29
Speaker 2: made people I.
35:30
Speaker 3: Get speculative and be again, all of these other things
35:32
Speaker 3: that have been proven need to come first, even again
35:35
Speaker 3: if they're not sexy, and I'm gonna like it's it's
35:38
Speaker 3: a bummer.
35:39
Speaker 2: Honestly, index funds are really sexy to me.
35:41
Speaker 3: I they really are.
35:44
Speaker 2: It's the Warren Buffett mess.
35:45
Speaker 3: A man I've been on a few dates with literally
35:47
Speaker 3: texted me yesterday and he was like, Hey, just wanted
35:50
Speaker 3: you to I just wanted to remind you because I
35:52
Speaker 3: know you're busy that like the period for eyebonds, like
35:55
Speaker 3: at a seven percent return stops in April, and I
35:58
Speaker 3: was literally like, I.
36:00
Speaker 1: Don't know what that means, but it sounds like that's
36:01
Speaker 1: sexy too, so sexy. I was like, there's nothing set,
36:06
Speaker 1: but it's amazing.
36:06
Speaker 3: I'll send you a link to ions. It's a whole
36:08
Speaker 3: other thing. But no, like it's it's not flashy and
36:11
Speaker 3: it's not sexy, but like that's it.
36:15
Speaker 2: Yeah, money over time, that's the key.
36:19
Speaker 3: Well, yeah, time more than the amount of money, right, Yeah,
36:22
Speaker 3: so really being strategic about getting in as early as possible,
36:25
Speaker 3: and again like doing your financial game plan. Yeah right,
36:28
Speaker 3: the emergency fund, high interest debt. If you want to
36:31
Speaker 3: talk about crypto, great, you need to be at least
36:35
Speaker 3: contributing to your four one k, have an emergency fund,
36:37
Speaker 3: pay off your credit card debt. I would really like
36:39
Speaker 3: you to be like maxing out your four one K
36:41
Speaker 3: or your IRA. If we're going to have a conversation.
36:43
Speaker 1: About crypto, Okay, I do a rapid fire. Great, what's
36:46
Speaker 1: the accomplishment you're most proud of?
36:48
Speaker 3: I'm gonna give you two answers professional my team. I
36:51
Speaker 3: get very teary. I never thought you, Barbara Walters me,
36:56
Speaker 3: God damn it. I never thought that I would be
37:00
Speaker 3: able to have a bunch of people care about the
37:04
Speaker 3: thing I care about more than anything. As much as
37:06
Speaker 3: I do, and they hustle their asses off and they
37:10
Speaker 3: are so so committed to what we do at her
37:13
Speaker 3: first hinder K and it's my fucking favorite thing. So
37:16
Speaker 3: I'm really proud of the team we've built, and I'm
37:18
Speaker 3: really honored that they care as much about my mission
37:21
Speaker 3: as I do.
37:22
Speaker 2: Congratulations, thank you, thank you. Yeah, really fucking it's a
37:25
Speaker 2: really big feat.
37:27
Speaker 3: It's so cool. And I turned to my CEO, who's
37:29
Speaker 3: also incredible, and I'm so proud at her and so
37:32
Speaker 3: I steel so honored to work with her. And we
37:34
Speaker 3: talk about literally like weekly basis. We're like this team, man,
37:38
Speaker 3: like this team. It's so cool. Yeah, that's professional. Personal.
37:43
Speaker 3: I had a really challenging year from like October November
37:47
Speaker 3: of twenty twenty and then about a year later, and
37:51
Speaker 3: I've talked about it a bit, but it's the classic
37:53
Speaker 3: thing where like I want to maintain my privacy. I
37:57
Speaker 3: had a week or two during that period where I
38:00
Speaker 3: just numb and I thought I'd never feel joy again.
38:02
Speaker 3: And as a very joyful person, that was one of
38:05
Speaker 3: the hardest. That was the hardest thing I think I've
38:06
Speaker 3: ever been through. YA was trying to process a lot
38:09
Speaker 3: of things and trying to deal with a lack of control.
38:13
Speaker 3: And it was also really hard when we were professionally
38:17
Speaker 3: doing really well. I know this is a rapid fire,
38:19
Speaker 3: I'm so sorry, but when we were professionally doing really well,
38:21
Speaker 3: and so people would come up to me.
38:22
Speaker 1: And be like, oh, that's killing us feeling, you're.
38:25
Speaker 3: Killing it, and I'm like, yeah, professionally, personally I'm not.
38:28
Speaker 3: I'm crying on the bathroom floor every night. So I
38:30
Speaker 3: have done so much work on myself for the past
38:33
Speaker 3: year and a half. I've done so much really difficult
38:35
Speaker 3: work and I'm not done. But I feel joy now
38:39
Speaker 3: all the time again, and that's really lovely because there
38:42
Speaker 3: was a period of.
38:42
Speaker 2: Time where I was like, the dissonance is really hurtful.
38:45
Speaker 3: Very artful, and I was like, does this get better?
38:48
Speaker 1: It does get It's always done, it does, but like, yeah,
38:52
Speaker 1: when you're in it, you've been feelings, but once you've
38:54
Speaker 1: been through it, you know that it gets better, which
38:56
Speaker 1: is a really like that's a gift, yep.
38:58
Speaker 3: And I've journaled about that as well, like, Okay, we
39:00
Speaker 3: did this once, we will probably have to do this again,
39:03
Speaker 3: but now we know we can.
39:04
Speaker 2: What's one stock you're keeping your eye on in twenty
39:06
Speaker 2: twenty two.
39:07
Speaker 3: Index months BTI baby, my.
39:11
Speaker 2: Dad would love you.
39:12
Speaker 3: VTI.
39:12
Speaker 1: What to do if you get told there's no room
39:14
Speaker 1: for negotiation.
39:15
Speaker 3: When you go negotiate, you can negotiate something other than salary,
39:19
Speaker 3: PTO education, stipend, work from home days. There's a million
39:22
Speaker 3: other things you can negotiate besides salary. And you probably
39:26
Speaker 3: still can negotiate your salary. If I'm being honest with you,
39:28
Speaker 3: they're doing the like remember if they really say there's
39:31
Speaker 3: no flexibility, then you go, I would love to have
39:33
Speaker 3: a conversation in six months about this again. What would
39:37
Speaker 3: it take for me to be able to make the
39:40
Speaker 3: amount of money I'm asking for?
39:42
Speaker 2: We would it take? That's a great question, Like.
39:44
Speaker 3: Okay, okay, So I know I'm being underpaid, and I understand,
39:49
Speaker 3: like I want to stay here and I want to
39:50
Speaker 3: grow with you, and I understand budgets tight. So in
39:53
Speaker 3: the next six months, what does my game plan need
39:55
Speaker 3: to be in order to make that money? Because then
39:57
Speaker 3: when you do it, you get to go into your
39:59
Speaker 3: boss's office and you get to be like, okay, Monney,
40:01
Speaker 3: please right because you did everything, you did everything in
40:03
Speaker 3: the last six months.
40:04
Speaker 1: This isn't really rapid fire. But how do you even
40:06
Speaker 1: go in and approach a negotiation?
40:09
Speaker 3: Oh we talk about this a lot in our course,
40:10
Speaker 3: but the TLDR is literally, I mean again, annual review.
40:14
Speaker 3: Perfect time you're going to have a conversation about your future.
40:16
Speaker 3: You're gonna have conversation, probably about compensation. Maybe they've hopefully
40:19
Speaker 3: given you some sort of raise, right, and then you
40:20
Speaker 3: can negotiate it up if you've found out. Really there's
40:24
Speaker 3: three scenarios that you're negotiating new job annual review. You
40:28
Speaker 3: found out you're being underpaid, if you found out you're
40:30
Speaker 3: being underpaid. One, you prep all your materials before you
40:33
Speaker 3: do this. You prep market rate. Again, we talk about
40:35
Speaker 3: all of this, but we talk. You prepare your market
40:39
Speaker 3: salary data where you should be compensated at all of
40:41
Speaker 3: those things. And then you email and you say, hi, boss,
40:44
Speaker 3: hope you had a great weekend. It's come to my
40:46
Speaker 3: attention that I'm being undercompensated for my role and I
40:48
Speaker 3: would love to have a meeting with you next week
40:50
Speaker 3: to discuss my goals as well as my compensation. One
40:53
Speaker 3: would be a good time to.
40:54
Speaker 2: Do that, So lay it out in the email. Yep,
40:58
Speaker 2: that's great. The best gift you've ever received.
41:01
Speaker 3: Antique typewriter from my mom. Cool?
41:04
Speaker 2: A book that changed your life that you think everyone
41:06
Speaker 2: should read?
41:07
Speaker 3: Untamed? That book fucked me up in the best way.
41:10
Speaker 3: Please read Untamed by Glennon Doyle.
41:12
Speaker 2: I do a pretty smart question from the card deck.
41:15
Speaker 3: Yeah.
41:15
Speaker 1: So the one that was pulled for you was what
41:18
Speaker 1: is the best meal you've ever had or the most
41:20
Speaker 1: memorable meal?
41:21
Speaker 3: Okay, Food's my fucking favorite. This is a great question. Okay.
41:25
Speaker 3: I have two. One. I was with my project manager,
41:28
Speaker 3: Sophia and Hawaii. This is at the end. I took
41:33
Speaker 3: myself to Hawaii for a month. Cool, best month of
41:36
Speaker 3: my life. I had a lot of healing to do,
41:38
Speaker 3: had to just go away to do it. And she
41:40
Speaker 3: came out for the last week and it was so cool.
41:42
Speaker 3: And we ate this pork tenderloin. Oh my god, I
41:48
Speaker 3: can almost taste it just talking. It was the best
41:52
Speaker 3: thing I've ever put in my mouth.
41:53
Speaker 1: Okay, I ask everybody this at the end, what is
41:55
Speaker 1: the smartest decision you've ever made?
41:57
Speaker 3: Starting her first hun okay, and then quitting to take
41:59
Speaker 3: it full time. That's my favorite. And I think the
42:02
Speaker 3: smartest decision I've ever made.
42:04
Speaker 2: Thanks Tory, thank you, thanks for having.
42:06
Speaker 3: Me all right.
42:33
Speaker 2: Today is a good day to have a good day.
42:35
Speaker 2: I'll see you next week