Latest / Sober Readings / A Frame Of Reference
Transcript
- Scott Hayes: Welcome to Sober Readings, everyone, my name is Scott. Thank you for joining me today. Today is Wednesday, the nineteenth of August. Let's get started today with the Serenity Prayer. God grant us the serenity to accept the things we cannot change, courage to change the things we can, and the wisdom to know the difference. Today's reading from Daily Reflections A Frame of Reference. Referring to our list or inventory again putting out of our minds the wrongs others had done, we resolutely looked for our own mistakes. Where had we been selfish, dishonest, self seeking, and frightened? That's on page sixty seven of the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous. There is a wonderful freedom in not needing constant approval from colleagues at work or from the people I love. I wish I had known about this step before, because once I developed a frame of reference, I felt able to do the next right thing, knowing that the action fit the situation, and that it was the correct thing to do. Today's reading from twenty four hours a day. August nineteenth, AA Thought for the Day. People of faith have a logical idea of what life is all about. There is a wide variation in the way each of us approaches and conceives of the power greater than ourselves. Whether we agree with a particular approach or conception seems to make little difference. There are questions for each of us to settle for ourselves, but in each case, the belief in a higher power has accomplished the miraculous, the humanly impossible. There has come a revolutionary change in our way of living and thinking. And today's question is, has there been a revolutionary change in me? The meditation for the day. Worship is consciousness of God's divine majesty. As you pause to worship, God will help you to raise your humanity to his divinity. The earth is a material temple to enclose God's divinity. God brings to those who worship him a divine power, a divine love, and a divine healing. You only have to open your mind to him and try to absorb some of his divine spirit. Pausing quietly in the spirit of worship, Turn your inward thoughts upward and realize that His divine power may be yours, that you can experience His love and healing. And today's prayer for the day, I pray that I may worship God by sensing the eternal spirit. I pray that I may experience a new power in my life. And for today's final reading, I'm gonna read chapter seven out of Living Sober. And so chapter seven is titled Using the Serenity Power. On the walls of thousands of AA meeting rooms, in any of a variety of languages, this invocation can be seen. God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference. AA did not originate it. Versions of it seem to have been used for centuries in various faiths, and it is now widely current outside AA. ⁓ As well as within the fellowship. Whether we belong to this church or that, whether we are humanists, agnostics, or atheists, most of us have found these words a wonderful guide in getting sober, staying sober, and enjoying our sobriety. Whether we see the Serenity Prayer as an actual prayer or just as a fervent wish, it offers a simple prescription for a healthy emotional life. We've put one thing right at the head of the list among the things we cannot change our alcoholism. No matter what we do, we know that tomorrow we won't suddenly be non-alcoholic, any more than we'll be ten years younger or six inches taller. We couldn't change our alcoholism, but we didn't say meekly, all right, I'm an alcoholic, guess I'll just have to drink myself to death. There was something we could change. We didn't have to be drunk alcoholics. We could become sober alcoholics. Yes, that did take courage. And we needed a flash of wisdom to see that it was possible, that it we could change ourselves. For us, that was only the first, most obvious use for the serenity prayer. The further away we get from the last drink, the more beautiful and the more packed with meaning these few lines become. We can apply them to everyday situations. The kind we used to run away from, into the bottle. By way of example, quote, I hate this job. Do I have to stick with it or can I quit? A little wisdom comes into play. Quote, well, if I do quit, the next few weeks or months may be rough, but if I have the guts to take it, the courage to change, I think I'll wind up in a better spot. Or the answer may be, quote, let's face it. This is no time for me to go job hunting, not with a family to support. Besides, here I am six weeks sober, and my AA friends say I'd better not start making any drastic changes in my life just yet. Better concentrate on not taking that first drink and wait till I get my head straightened out. Okay, I can't change the job right now, but maybe I can change my own attitude. Let's see. How can I learn to accept the job serenely? That word serenity looked like an impossible goal when we first saw the prayer. In fact, if serenity meant apathy, bitter resignation, or impassive endurance, then we didn't even want to aim at it. But we found that serenity meant no such thing. When it comes to us now, it is more as plain recognition, a clear-eyed, realistic way of seeing the world, accompanied by inner peace and strength. Serenity is like a gyroscope. That lets us keep our balance no matter what turbulence swirls around us. And that is a state of mind worth aiming for. And again, that's chapter seven called Using the Serenity Prayer out of the book Living Sober. The Serenity Prayer has taken a on a different meaning for me at different positions in my sobriety. Early on, I think I heard it mostly as something we said together at meetings. But after years of sobriety, and especially after experiencing relapse, I've come to understand how much wisdom is packed into those few lines. So much of my frustration, anger, anxiety, and resentment comes from wanting people, situations, and even the past to be different than they are. I've spent a lot of energy trying to control things that were never mine to control. The serenity prayer reminds me that acceptance isn't weakness or giving up. Sometimes acceptance is the healthiest action I can take. At the same time, there are things I can change. Whether I go to a meeting, whether I pick up the phone. Whether I isolate, whether I'm honest about how I'm feeling, and ultimately whether I take that first drink. My responsibility is not to control everything happening around me, it is to take care of my side of the street. Today the Serenity Prayer is more than something I recite, it is something I try to practice. My relapse taught me that six years of sobriety didn't make me immune from alcoholism. Just as years of running don't mean I can stop training and expect to remain strong. Recovery requires daily action. When life becomes overwhelming, I can pause and ask myself, can I change this or do I need to accept it? I don't always know the answer immediately, which is why the last part of the prayer, the wisdom to know the difference, maybe the most important part for me. I don't have to figure out everything by myself. I can talk to another alcoholic. Get to a meeting, pray, or simply give myself enough time for the emotion to pass before I react. I can't change yesterday, including my relapse. I can't guarantee what tomorrow will bring, but I can do something about today. And sometimes serenity is simply accepting that today is enough. And that is my take on using the Serenity Prayer. So what does it mean to you? Do you say the serenity prayer to yourself? Do you say it in your prayers? Do you say it throughout the day? Or do you simply say it at meetings? I'd love to hear your thoughts and your comments on the Serenity Prayer and how you use it in your sobriety and what it means to you. Send me an email at soberreadingswithscott at gmail.com. And if you'd like to be a guest on my show and talk about the serenity prayer, I would love to have you. And so that's gonna do it for today's episode of Sober Readings. I hope you enjoyed it. If you did, help me pass the message along by hitting that share button and click the like button as well. ⁓ if you'd like to drop a dollar in the virtual donation basket for today's readings, just go to my website, soberreadings.com, and click the donate button. So thank you so much for listening, everyone. Stay sober, keep reading, and I'll catch you in the next episode. Until then, take care of yourselves and each other, and remember, just for today, don't drink, go to a meeting, and keep coming back. Have a great day everyone and as my friend Larry says, best day ever.