Latest / The Ben Maller Show / Hour 3 - A Cheesy Twist

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Hour 3 - A Cheesy Twist · The Ben Maller Show

0:00
Speaker 1: Shazam it's our number three and a boom shakalaka how
0:09
Speaker 1: much weight do you give packer running back josh jacobs
0:12
Speaker 1: attorneys declaring that his legal matter has been resolved or
0:18
Speaker 1: has it also if tua tongue of iloa misses week
0:21
Speaker 1: one how much does that change your expectations for the
0:24
Speaker 1: falcons entire season it sounds like He's not going to
0:28
Speaker 1: play as we are doing this in real time. Also,
0:32
Speaker 1: in addition to the NFL, who blinked first? LSU by
0:36
Speaker 1: changing course on its roster, trying to add NFL bounce-back players,
0:41
Speaker 1: or the Southeastern Conference by walking away from without any
0:46
Speaker 1: sanctions towards Lane Kiffin or LSU. We'll talk about all
0:50
Speaker 1: of that and more as you get some extra credit
0:53
Speaker 1: for listening to the podcast. Here it is, and Lame Jokes.
0:55
Speaker 2: Of the Week.
0:56
Speaker 1: It's hour number three. A cheesy twist, if you will.
1:04
Speaker 1: Welcome in the beginning of another hour of the Ben
1:11
Speaker 1: Maller Show. We are in the air everywhere. Melting in
1:19
Speaker 1: your ears as we roll on and roll strong coast
1:23
Speaker 1: to coast, border to border and beyond on the vast coast.
1:29
Speaker 1: And snazzily powerful microphones of FSR emanating live from the
1:37
Speaker 1: drive as we go into overdrive. Guaranteed human. And the
1:43
Speaker 1: world famous Fox Sports Radio studios where the Russian kid
1:49
Speaker 1: reminds us that this hour, the hour you listen to
1:52
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1:57
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2:01
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2:24
Speaker 1: And I see Sir Smokes a lot and the OG
2:27
Speaker 1: Art Puffin all giving the old thumbs up there. Even
2:30
Speaker 1: Parito and Mad Jack, very happy about that. So very
2:35
Speaker 1: important there. And have all the boys happy there, for sure.
2:39
Speaker 1: So our lead this hour, and we'll get back to
2:42
Speaker 1: the calls this hour in a little bit. We'll release
2:44
Speaker 1: the phone lines. We took no calls last hour. We
2:46
Speaker 1: still almost ran out of time before we got the
2:48
Speaker 1: final two featured games on Benny vs. the Penny. We'll
2:51
Speaker 1: give out the rest of the picks over the weekend
2:53
Speaker 1: on social media for all the other games. But amazingly,
2:56
Speaker 1: we picked a total of eight games on the radio. Well, actually,
3:00
Speaker 1: a total of ten because we did the Island games
3:02
Speaker 1: on Wednesday and Thursday. And the only game that we
3:06
Speaker 1: differed on of the ten featured games was the Vikings
3:09
Speaker 1: and the Packers game. And Penny took the Green Bay Packers.
3:14
Speaker 1: I took the Vikings. So we'll see. How that works out.
3:16
Speaker 1: But our lead this hour is from Green Bay, where
3:19
Speaker 1: Packers running back Josh Jacobs is in a little less trouble.
3:26
Speaker 1: The soup has cooled a little bit for Josh Jacobs,
3:30
Speaker 1: the running back, who has settled his legal case. It's
3:34
Speaker 1: happening this week. You're pleading no contest to a misdemeanor
3:38
Speaker 1: battery and criminal damage to property charge. And under this agreement, Jacobs,
3:44
Speaker 1: who's on the naughty list, he's on the commissioner's exempt list,
3:47
Speaker 1: must avoid contact with the victim, has to pay restitution,
3:52
Speaker 1: seek counseling, and commit no further crimes for one year.
3:58
Speaker 1: And if he does all of those things, if he
4:00
Speaker 1: meets all of those conditions, Josh Jacobs, the NFL running back,
4:05
Speaker 1: he does all those things, the matter will be tossed aside.
4:10
Speaker 1: The property damage charge will be dismissed. That's it. Now, Jacobs' attorney,
4:15
Speaker 1: who's paid by Jacobs, shockingly declared the matter is, quote, resolved,
4:21
Speaker 1: close quote, while highlighting the history of community work throughout
4:26
Speaker 1: his NFL career. Of course, I'm sure he didn't mention
4:28
Speaker 1: that NFL players are pretty much forced to do charity work.
4:31
Speaker 1: It's part of the deal. All right. Anyway, that is
4:33
Speaker 1: a good jumping off point. Let us discuss the question.
4:37
Speaker 1: How much weight How much weight do you give Packers
4:41
Speaker 1: running back Josh Jacobs' attorneys declaring that this matter is, quote, resolved,
4:47
Speaker 1: close quote? So I've got sequel, emergency flashlight, and Buffalo
4:54
Speaker 1: Wild Wings. And we will combine all of these things together,
5:00
Speaker 1: and we are going to go on a fishing expedition.
5:05
Speaker 1: Over to Lake Winnebago. We're going to go out to
5:07
Speaker 1: Lake Winnebago. All right. So to kick off here, Josh
5:10
Speaker 1: Jacobs attorneys who are paid by Josh Jacobs can go
5:14
Speaker 1: to the very top of the mountain and scream and
5:17
Speaker 1: shout and let it all out and say the matter
5:20
Speaker 1: is resolved. They can do that as loud as they
5:22
Speaker 1: want on a scale of one to 10. They go
5:24
Speaker 1: to 11. But celebrating right now is kind of like
5:29
Speaker 1: getting discharged from the general hospital. You get out of
5:32
Speaker 1: the doors of the hospital and you then get hit
5:35
Speaker 1: by an ambulance in the parking lot. Like, yeah, sure.
5:38
Speaker 1: He managed Josh Jacobs to escape the courthouse in Wisconsin
5:43
Speaker 1: with a sweetheart deal. However, there is an entirely different
5:48
Speaker 1: courtroom waiting for him at 345 Park Avenue. It's a
5:53
Speaker 1: double edged sword. He settled things with the state of Wisconsin.
5:58
Speaker 1: But unfortunately, Roger Goodell owns the sequel rights. And that's
6:03
Speaker 1: the problem. So he essentially escaped Josh Jacobs, the penalty box,
6:08
Speaker 1: which is the one you want to escape, because that's
6:11
Speaker 1: the one that can take your freedom away and walk
6:13
Speaker 1: directly into the principal's office now. And he's still on
6:17
Speaker 1: the commissioner's exempt list. And so he's got a deal
6:19
Speaker 1: with Roger the Dodger Goodell, the chair of the POC.
6:23
Speaker 1: What is the POC? The Pigskin Oversight Committee. Did you
6:27
Speaker 1: make us look bad in the media? How dare you? Well,
6:30
Speaker 1: supposedly there's a video. This is the big... The big
6:33
Speaker 1: thing with this story is that there's supposedly a video
6:38
Speaker 1: that hasn't seen the light of the Internet yet. And
6:40
Speaker 1: if that gets out, it shows... Josh Jacobs getting very
6:45
Speaker 1: physical with a lady there and generally polite society does
6:51
Speaker 1: not look kindly on getting into a physical situation with
6:56
Speaker 1: a woman. That's no matter whether you're right or wrong.
6:59
Speaker 1: They just can't be doing that. Anyway, so that is
7:01
Speaker 1: where we are at this particular point. So he's got
7:03
Speaker 1: to deal with the oversight of the NFL. And so, yeah,
7:06
Speaker 1: the legal part of it is finished. But with the
7:08
Speaker 1: NFL's typical six game boilerplate domestic violence suspension looming, that
7:16
Speaker 1: victory declaration is a bit premature. Plus, if that video
7:23
Speaker 1: ever gets out. Is that Ray Rice? Like, Ray Rice
7:26
Speaker 1: hasn't come back to the NFL because that elevator video
7:29
Speaker 1: from years ago, the Ravens running back. So he might,
7:33
Speaker 1: might's a weasel word, might be out of legal trouble.
7:35
Speaker 1: We're talking about Josh Jacobs, Green Bay Packers running back.
7:37
Speaker 1: But the NFL's private courtroom operates a whole different set
7:41
Speaker 1: of rules. Kind of like OJ was found not guilty
7:46
Speaker 1: in a criminal case, but then in the civil case,
7:50
Speaker 1: the standard is a preponderance of the evidence. It's kind
7:53
Speaker 1: of how the NFL operates in the pigskin oversight committee.
7:56
Speaker 1: It's a preponderance of the evidence, not beyond a reasonable doubt. Now, furthermore,
8:01
Speaker 1: to Atlanta we go. We mentioned this last hour, problems
8:06
Speaker 1: in the ATL. Tua Tungabailoa suffering an oblique injury, and
8:12
Speaker 1: he was spotted grabbing his side. Oh, my side! This
8:17
Speaker 1: after a throw during practice, sat on the ground for
8:20
Speaker 1: a little bit, very dramatically injured. and was not throwing
8:23
Speaker 1: again during the media availability portion of Falcons practice. I'm
8:27
Speaker 1: very concerned about that. So that means backup quarterback Cooper
8:30
Speaker 1: Rush was in a rush, and he is projected now
8:33
Speaker 1: to start. Tua was only given one week to be
8:38
Speaker 1: the man, one week to be the man, and looks
8:42
Speaker 1: like that's not likely going to happen now either. Tua,
8:45
Speaker 1: at best, his status is uncertain. Just to a couple
8:49
Speaker 1: days away from the kickoff on Sunday, the season opener
8:53
Speaker 1: for Atlanta as they take on the Steelers in Pittsburgh.
8:56
Speaker 1: So the question, if Tua Tungavailoa misses week number one,
9:03
Speaker 1: how much does that change your expectations for the Falcons'
9:06
Speaker 1: entire season? So for me, on my scorecard, it doesn't
9:11
Speaker 1: change anything. It changes nothing. And here's why. Tua's not good.
9:18
Speaker 1: Going from Tua to Cooper Rush, that's not a quarterback change.
9:22
Speaker 1: It's kind of like when you're at the store and
9:26
Speaker 1: you're buying some groceries and you don't go to the self-checkout,
9:28
Speaker 1: you go to the checkout stand. And so you get
9:30
Speaker 1: to the checkout lane and You're like, well, okay, I'm
9:34
Speaker 1: at Walmart and I'm going to change checkout lanes. And
9:36
Speaker 1: the reason I'm going to change lanes is because there's
9:37
Speaker 1: a babushka. And we all know babushkas at grocery stores
9:41
Speaker 1: love to talk to the teller. They love to tell
9:43
Speaker 1: the teller about their grandkids, about their cats. They love
9:46
Speaker 1: to pay with cash. They especially love to pay with coins.
9:49
Speaker 1: And they have to get the exact amount of change.
9:51
Speaker 1: And so when you see a babushka, you go to
9:54
Speaker 1: the next line at the Walmart 100% of the time. However,
9:58
Speaker 1: you're still at Babushka. walmart so congratulations you've traveled six
10:03
Speaker 1: inches sideways bravo way to go right so tua has
10:07
Speaker 1: a pinging sound in the engine and now cooper rush
10:11
Speaker 1: is riding in on his white horse to save the
10:14
Speaker 1: day no You know what he is? Cooper Rush is
10:18
Speaker 1: an emergency flashlight you find in the junk drawer with
10:22
Speaker 1: batteries that are from 2019. And maybe that thing turns on.
10:28
Speaker 1: It might turn on. Maybe it doesn't turn on. And
10:32
Speaker 1: somehow Michael Penix Jr. is still not ready to go.
10:36
Speaker 1: So Atlanta's quarterback room at this moment. You've got three
10:42
Speaker 1: plumbers from Roto-Rooter standing around a burst pipe, and there's
10:49
Speaker 1: water everywhere. And the three plumbers, not one of them
10:54
Speaker 1: brought their tools. They don't have a wrench or any
10:57
Speaker 1: of the tools they need. So pick a name out
11:00
Speaker 1: of a hat. They have the playmakers there. You can
11:03
Speaker 1: dummy down the offense and at least move the ball
11:06
Speaker 1: a little bit with the playmakers they have in Atlanta.
11:08
Speaker 1: So the Dirty Birds... They're not cooked. They weren't cooked yesterday.
11:15
Speaker 1: They're not cooked today. Changing quarterbacks, it's kind of like
11:19
Speaker 1: rotating tires on a car. The quarterback room is sitting
11:23
Speaker 1: on cinder blocks, but the other stuff's kind of cool.
11:26
Speaker 1: The other stuff's kind of cool. It's not bad. All right,
11:28
Speaker 1: last thing here. We go now to Baton Rouge, Louisiana. Louisiana.
11:34
Speaker 1: And we have a update, update, the Blood Battle Royale
11:39
Speaker 1: we've talked about in previous episodes of the show. And
11:43
Speaker 1: it turns out, LSU, have they been kicked out of
11:46
Speaker 1: the Southeastern Conference? Have they been sent away? No. It's
11:54
Speaker 1: a lot of bluster. And in the end, LSU will
11:57
Speaker 1: face no sanctions from the Southeastern Conference that following a
12:03
Speaker 1: hastily put together a meeting, a little meet and greet
12:07
Speaker 1: among conference presidents and chancellors, and the possibility of expelling
12:13
Speaker 1: LSU from the league has been taken off the table
12:17
Speaker 1: for now. The dispute cooling down a little bit. LSU
12:21
Speaker 1: did finalize their 105-man football roster without the NFL rejects,
12:29
Speaker 1: Daquan Wright and Zavian Harris, so that effectively ends the
12:36
Speaker 1: immediate eligibility fight. Now, the president of LSU told the
12:40
Speaker 1: SEC commissioner, Greg Sankey, the guy that runs LSU, said
12:45
Speaker 1: that the school in Baton Rouge has compiled the roster,
12:52
Speaker 1: it's done, and the issue that the SEC had is moot.
12:57
Speaker 1: All right, so that's what they're saying. Question. Who do
13:02
Speaker 1: you think blinked first? You can only pick one. Who
13:06
Speaker 1: blinked first? LSU by changing course on the roster or
13:11
Speaker 1: the Southeastern Conference by walking away without sanctioning Louisiana State University?
13:19
Speaker 1: Survey says... LSU. The only proper answer is LSU. That's it.
13:26
Speaker 1: They blink first. This whole thing was started by LSU,
13:30
Speaker 1: was driven by LSU. However, it really, when you pull
13:35
Speaker 1: back the curtains, The LSU SEC brouhaha was like two
13:41
Speaker 1: drunk guys outside a Buffalo Wild Wings screaming, Hold me back, bro!
13:45
Speaker 1: Hold me back, bro! While secretly hoping somebody keeps holding
13:50
Speaker 1: them back. It's like those fake NBA fights we get
13:53
Speaker 1: every basketball season. The gold standard was the big ticket
13:57
Speaker 1: back in the day for the Timberwolves and the Celtics.
14:00
Speaker 1: That guy, oh, he'd always be, I want to get
14:02
Speaker 1: in a fight. And then, hold me back, hold me back,
14:03
Speaker 1: hold me back now. Hold me back. And Lane Kiffin...
14:07
Speaker 1: Going into this, Lane Kiffin out there poking the grizzly bear,
14:12
Speaker 1: wanting those NFL bounce back players right up because they
14:16
Speaker 1: played for him at Ole Miss, right up until the
14:19
Speaker 1: SEC said, you do this and we are going to
14:22
Speaker 1: go with the nuclear option. There will be a mushroom
14:27
Speaker 1: cloud over the football offices there. So then LSU discovered
14:31
Speaker 1: this is really an ancient legal principle that And what
14:35
Speaker 1: is that ancient legal principle? It is the ancient legal
14:39
Speaker 1: principle of never mind. Never mind. It's all good.
14:45
Speaker 3: Yeah.
14:45
Speaker 1: All right. Never mind.
14:47
Speaker 2: OK.
14:47
Speaker 1: So LSU declared war. They marched out to the battlefield.
14:52
Speaker 1: They fired a couple of bottle rockets and then they
14:54
Speaker 1: signed a peace treaty while eating some mashed potatoes at
14:58
Speaker 1: Cracker Barrel. That's it. So the big shots genuflected. to
15:03
Speaker 1: the sec demands resulting in zero sanctions for louisiana state
15:10
Speaker 1: so we're going to call this on my scorecard i
15:12
Speaker 1: call this a ceasefire with all of the the big
15:16
Speaker 1: guns the flamethrowers back in the garage for now and
15:20
Speaker 1: leaving plenty of chest thumping behind now through it all
15:25
Speaker 1: Lane Kiffin still gets his consolation prize. What is Lane
15:29
Speaker 1: Kiffin's consolation prize? He gets to keep that smug, fish-eating
15:32
Speaker 1: grin on those DoorDash commercials and that new Fanville commercial
15:36
Speaker 1: thing that he's got. And so LSU threatened to go
15:40
Speaker 1: World War III, and they settled for an angry Yelp
15:46
Speaker 1: review is essentially how this played out in real time.
15:50
Speaker 1: It is the Ben Maller Show. We had a little
15:53
Speaker 1: NFL action. In Australia, and a surprise to some, the
16:00
Speaker 1: public was all over, all over the Rams, the darlings
16:05
Speaker 1: of the media. In the end, the 49ers kicked their ass.
16:09
Speaker 1: It was a really pathetic, toothless performance by the Rams
16:13
Speaker 1: in that game. Okay, it was a boring first half.
16:18
Speaker 1: They were in the game, and then in the second half,
16:22
Speaker 1: Nothing's changed more in my lifetime than second half adjustments.
16:25
Speaker 1: It was bad, bad, bad, bad, bad to the bone,
16:29
Speaker 1: bad to the bone. So the Niners are currently tied
16:32
Speaker 1: with Seattle for the top record in the NFL, and
16:35
Speaker 1: the Rams are tied with the Patriots for the worst
16:38
Speaker 1: record in the national football. ball league and raheem morris
16:44
Speaker 1: a former ram guy he was the assistant with sean
16:50
Speaker 1: mcveigh for a couple of years there back in the
16:52
Speaker 1: day and he went off to coach the falcons didn't
16:54
Speaker 1: do much of a job but raheem morris his defense
16:56
Speaker 1: has now given up a combined 12 points the last
17:00
Speaker 1: two times he's faced the rams offense so it appears
17:03
Speaker 1: that raheem morris has found something he found something to
17:09
Speaker 1: attack yeah So outstanding. Outstanding. All right. It is the
17:15
Speaker 1: Ben Maler Show. And if you'd like to be part,
17:19
Speaker 1: we reopen the phone lines here. 877-99 on Fox. That's 877-996-6369.
17:28
Speaker 1: Also on X at Ben Maler. That is at Ben Maler.
17:33
Speaker 1: If you want to break it down scientifically, you can
17:35
Speaker 1: call up and scream and shout and all that and
17:38
Speaker 1: go on X at Ben Maler. And we'll have more
17:42
Speaker 1: of that time now, though, for that's right. Here we go.
17:47
Speaker 1: Here we go. It is time now for the Malheur
17:51
Speaker 1: Riddle of the Day. And here it is. Aaron Rodgers.
17:58
Speaker 1: Aaron Rodgers recently claimed that his ex-fiancee, Shailene Woodley, I
18:05
Speaker 1: think that's how you say her name. She asked to
18:08
Speaker 1: blank before getting married. All right. Aaron Rodgers claims that
18:14
Speaker 1: his ex-fiancee, Shailene Woodley, asked to blank before they ended
18:19
Speaker 1: up getting married, which they didn't actually get married. That
18:22
Speaker 1: is the Mallor riddle of the day. The answer. We'll
18:28
Speaker 1: get to it and we will do it.
18:34
Speaker 4: Next be sure to catch live editions of the ben
18:37
Speaker 4: maller show weekdays at 2 a.m eastern 11 p.m pacific
18:41
Speaker 4: on fox sports radio and the iheart radio app fox
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Speaker 4: notification bell and catch all the videos from your favorite
18:56
Speaker 4: shows two pros The Ben Maller Show on Fox Sports
18:58
Speaker 4: Radio as we continue on through the overnight hours.
19:01
Speaker 1: A reminder, today is Friday. and that means the fifth
19:27
Speaker 1: hour podcast returns and a special episode dropping later today
19:33
Speaker 1: a conversation with longtime baseball broadcaster for the los angeles
19:40
Speaker 1: dodgers ross porter who i worked with in my younger
19:43
Speaker 1: days in radio caught up with ross we check in
19:48
Speaker 1: every once in a while, and I haven't talked to
19:49
Speaker 1: Ross in a while. I haven't on the podcast before,
19:51
Speaker 1: but he'll tell some stories never before told about his
19:54
Speaker 1: play-by-play days in the major leagues. He was actually ahead
19:56
Speaker 1: of his time. I've told him this many times over
19:59
Speaker 1: the years, but Ross was very into statistics when people
20:03
Speaker 1: looked down. There was a time people looked down about statistics.
20:06
Speaker 1: Now they're shoved down your throat. So check out that conversation,
20:11
Speaker 1: the Fifth Hour Podcast, with me. And we'll have new
20:15
Speaker 1: episodes on Saturday and the Mailbag on Sunday. So check
20:19
Speaker 1: it out. Also be part of this show at 877-99
20:24
Speaker 1: on Fox. Lines are open again and on X at VanMaler.
20:28
Speaker 1: You can say hello to Lorena. She's the FSR Tech Queen.
20:32
Speaker 4: Hi, Bill.
20:33
Speaker 1: And she survived a near-death experience with a cockroach. And
20:38
Speaker 1: she's still here. She's in therapy. Hopefully everything will be okay.
20:42
Speaker 1: The battle's not over. It's not over yet. But to
20:45
Speaker 1: FSR Tech Queen, Coop is here at All Bronco Fan.
20:48
Speaker 1: That's All Bronco Fan. Your comments can and will be
20:53
Speaker 1: used against you in the court of sports radio. Time
20:56
Speaker 1: now for the Mallor Riddle of the Day. And here's
20:59
Speaker 1: the Mallor Riddle of the Day. Aaron Rodgers, he recently
21:03
Speaker 1: claimed that his ex-fiancee, Shailene Woodley, Asked to blank before
21:10
Speaker 1: getting married. And that's it. That's the riddle of the day.
21:16
Speaker 1: And the answer right about now, let's see, does anyone
21:19
Speaker 1: in the Malheur militia know the answer? We go to
21:23
Speaker 1: the hoi polloi, the great unwashed, the silent majority who
21:28
Speaker 1: hide behind fake avatars and sit there on their phones
21:33
Speaker 1: and all that. King Rory says to take the little
21:37
Speaker 1: blue pill just in case.
21:40
Speaker 4: What else?
21:40
Speaker 1: Femi got it right. Bad job by Femi. You loser.
21:45
Speaker 1: How dare you? She asked to go on a train,
21:50
Speaker 1: I guess. Who doesn't love a nice train ride?
21:52
Speaker 2: Exactly.
21:53
Speaker 1: I think that's what Arik meant by that. He might
21:54
Speaker 1: have said something else, but I think that's, I'm sure Arik,
21:56
Speaker 1: that's what he meant.
21:57
Speaker 5: Especially up to like what Santa, you know, the beach areas.
22:01
Speaker 1: Oh, San Clemente, down in San Clemente. Beautiful. Or you
22:03
Speaker 1: go north. Yeah, great train ride sound there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Exactly.
22:07
Speaker 1: Alf the Alien O'Piner says she asked to pursue his
22:10
Speaker 1: penny collection is the answer. Watch Captain Caveman from Courtesy Flusher.
22:16
Speaker 1: Go to Marriage Counseling from Late Night Drug Tester. Let's see.
22:20
Speaker 1: What else do we have? Page down. Stevie Meatball says
22:23
Speaker 1: she wanted to taste the Chalupa before they got married.
22:27
Speaker 1: Play Password, the word game of the stars from Inca Terror.
22:34
Speaker 1: Analog Al quoting, who was that, Kirk Herbstreet? Asked him
22:39
Speaker 1: to stand on his head after they went to Macon,
22:43
Speaker 1: Whoopie Town. Trim toenails from Eek in Roseville, Minnesota. Ozzy
22:48
Speaker 1: Waz checking in from Western Australia. I'm guessing Ozzy Waz
22:52
Speaker 1: didn't go out to that NFL game. because it's kind
22:55
Speaker 1: of far from where he is. He lives out in
22:56
Speaker 1: the boondocks. He said to go through one of the
23:00
Speaker 1: doors to the house, but not the front door. What
23:02
Speaker 1: else do we have? Page Dan went to visit Alf
23:06
Speaker 1: the Alien O'Piner from Donkey Sausage. That's his answer. Gunner
23:11
Speaker 1: from the Walmart in northern Minnesota says the answer is
23:14
Speaker 1: to meet you before marriage. What else do we have?
23:17
Speaker 1: Doug in South Korea says to wax his twig in berries.
23:21
Speaker 1: There you go. Kathy in Madison said she asked to
23:26
Speaker 1: go bonga, bonga, bonga, bonga. All right. Timmy from... How
23:31
Speaker 1: about Kathy? Timmy in Fusco, Indiana said... That's hilarious. She
23:36
Speaker 1: asked to meet his boyfriend. All right. Well, that's... Come on.
23:40
Speaker 1: How dare you? Rob in the 321 checks in, says
23:43
Speaker 1: she asked to go to the Krusty Krab... for a
23:46
Speaker 1: Krabby Patty. Remember when Wendy's had that for a while,
23:50
Speaker 1: the Krabby thing? JT the Wingman, my pal from the
23:54
Speaker 1: mailbag this past weekend with Weed Man, says share a
23:57
Speaker 1: Culver's Butter Burger. The great Culver's. Wonderful. What else? Reach
24:02
Speaker 1: Puberty from Johnny Q. That's his answer. Eat tacos on
24:06
Speaker 1: a Friday. That's from Filler Up Phil. Drink mushroom tea
24:10
Speaker 1: from our pal Neil in Fall River. That's his answer.
24:15
Speaker 1: All right, Lorena, do you have an answer here? Of course,
24:17
Speaker 1: you host your own segment on relationships, so I'm sure
24:19
Speaker 1: you'll get this right. Aaron Rodgers claims that his ex-fiancee,
24:23
Speaker 1: Shailene Woodley, asked to blank before getting married.
24:29
Speaker 5: To go on a bottomless jewelry shopping spree. She could
24:33
Speaker 5: buy whatever she wanted with no limits.
24:36
Speaker 1: All right, is that correct? Let's find out right now.
24:38
Speaker 1: Here we go. Survey says no.
24:41
Speaker 6: Wrong.
24:42
Speaker 1: Now, this one's like next level. Well, I'm about to
24:45
Speaker 1: tell you. This is like next level. I thought this
24:49
Speaker 1: might have been fake, but apparently it's not. Rogers claimed
24:51
Speaker 1: that his ex-fiancee, Shailene Woodley, asked if she could sleep
24:55
Speaker 1: with another man before getting married.
24:57
Speaker 4: What?
24:57
Speaker 1: Yeah, how about that? That's the answer. Man. Going for it.
25:07
Speaker 1: She's a wild lady, apparently. That didn't work, though. Did
25:10
Speaker 1: she think? She must have thought it was going to work, right?
25:13
Speaker 4: No?
25:15
Speaker 1: Why would you.
25:15
Speaker 5: Tell people that, though? I feel like that's very telling
25:19
Speaker 5: of your relationship.
25:20
Speaker 1: But you're upset with Rogers or you're upset with her? Well,
25:24
Speaker 1: I feel like if you if you're asking him that
25:28
Speaker 1: and she.
25:28
Speaker 5: Wanted to have a good round before she had boring
25:31
Speaker 5: sex the rest of her life.
25:32
Speaker 1: Wow. Defending her. But I feel I feel like, you know,
25:37
Speaker 1: if you're engaged to someone, it's kind of a tough
25:40
Speaker 1: road to go down until you're married. You want to
25:43
Speaker 1: do the bouncy-bouncy with somebody else, but you're engaged. You're
25:46
Speaker 1: on your way to go bow-chicka-wow-wow, and then you're like, well,
25:49
Speaker 1: I want to go over there, and I want to
25:50
Speaker 1: go over to that person over there. So I'm not
25:52
Speaker 1: defending this.
25:53
Speaker 3: I'm not defending it, but did you read the whole
25:56
Speaker 3: transcript from it?
25:59
Speaker 1: Like X, right, or something like that? Is that what
26:01
Speaker 1: it was? Is that what it is?
26:02
Speaker 3: I'm not sure, but I was reading the quotes from
26:05
Speaker 3: Aaron Rodgers on whatever podcast he was talking about this on.
26:09
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
26:10
Speaker 1: And.
26:11
Speaker 3: It seemed like he was also, again, I'm not saying
26:14
Speaker 3: that this makes it right, but it seems like he
26:18
Speaker 3: was kind of admitting that he kind of rushed her
26:21
Speaker 3: into it, right? Like the engagement?
26:24
Speaker 1: Did I kind of read that wrong? Yeah, but he
26:28
Speaker 1: was all over the map. He said that he was
26:31
Speaker 1: going on about how he met his future wife, or
26:35
Speaker 1: I guess his current wife. He said he met her
26:38
Speaker 1: in 2017 and then they broke up. He's claiming. And
26:40
Speaker 1: then so he while he really wanted to be with her,
26:43
Speaker 1: he was with Danica Patrick and Shailene Woodley. And so
26:46
Speaker 1: he was all he was messed up in a bad spot.
26:49
Speaker 1: It was pretty crazy. But that was on a one
26:52
Speaker 1: of his teammates, friends and family only podcast. Well, actually,
26:55
Speaker 1: you can talk more about that a little bit later.
26:57
Speaker 1: But it is the Ben Malish show. We got lame
26:59
Speaker 1: jokes coming up in a little bit. We have not
27:01
Speaker 1: taken a phone call in some time because we had
27:03
Speaker 1: Benny versus the Penny show. So let's try to get
27:06
Speaker 1: a call or two on at 877-99 on Fox. That's 877-996-6369.
27:12
Speaker 1: Let's go to Mike the Leprechaun. Hello, Mike the Leprechaun
27:19
Speaker 1: in the Boston area out there near Worcester, in between
27:23
Speaker 1: Boston and Worcester. What's going on, Mike the Leprechaun?
27:26
Speaker 6: How does Loretta say Worcester?
27:28
Speaker 2: Worcester.
27:31
Speaker 1: Well, I think she probably calls it by the way
27:34
Speaker 1: that it looks like it should be sounding, not the
27:37
Speaker 1: way that it actually is.
27:37
Speaker 6: Ask her to spell it, though.
27:38
Speaker 1: Ask her to spell it.
27:41
Speaker 6: Seeing that she's so good at spelling.
27:43
Speaker 5: You want me to spell Worcester?
27:45
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, please. Give me a shot.
27:47
Speaker 5: Okay, I don't want to. Why did you lie, and
27:49
Speaker 5: why did you text me, and why did you send
27:51
Speaker 5: it to everyone? You said you have no TV.
27:54
Speaker 2: Internet, or email.
27:55
Speaker 5: Can you please pass along these jokes? And then I'm
27:58
Speaker 5: telling Coop that you sent jokes, and he goes, oh,
28:01
Speaker 5: he sent me the email. And I'm like, why would
28:03
Speaker 5: you double send it?
28:04
Speaker 6: Because my kids were not able to do their homework
28:08
Speaker 6: last night, and they're freaking out. I have two channels.
28:10
Speaker 6: I have AT & T and Verizon, and none of them,
28:12
Speaker 6: their book crashed yesterday. So that's a fact.
28:15
Speaker 2: I wasn't lying.
28:17
Speaker 6: But anyway, do you have a monopoly on wisdom, Ms.
28:19
Speaker 2: Lorena?
28:22
Speaker 6: Do you have a monopoly on wisdom?
28:24
Speaker 2: No. No, no.
28:26
Speaker 6: Anyway, beam me up, Scotty. Star Trek is 60 years
28:30
Speaker 6: old today, or this week, sorry. All right, I wasn't lying,
28:34
Speaker 6: as always.
28:35
Speaker 1: Oh, my goodness.
28:35
Speaker 5: Are you talking to Ben? Talk to Ben.
28:37
Speaker 2: Okay, Ben, how are you?
28:40
Speaker 1: Do you care?
28:42
Speaker 2: I do care.
28:42
Speaker 6: How's your cow?
28:43
Speaker 1: The Malheur cow is very productive, I am told, from
28:47
Speaker 1: Cowboy Drew. And he's one of the better cows. A
28:51
Speaker 1: lot of milk every day from the Malheur cow. It's
28:54
Speaker 1: a working class cow. It's not a bougie cow. It's
28:57
Speaker 1: a beautiful, fat heifer. It really is. Just a big, giant,
29:02
Speaker 1: fat cow. And we're very proud of that Malheur cow.
29:04
Speaker 5: I feel like he has nothing to talk about.
29:07
Speaker 1: Is this true? Do you have nothing to talk about,
29:09
Speaker 1: Mike the Leprechaun? Did you just call up to get
29:10
Speaker 1: on the air?
29:11
Speaker 3: The ram's lost.
29:12
Speaker 2: Did you hear?
29:14
Speaker 1: Poppy was wrong. Yeah, he has nothing to talk about.
29:17
Speaker 6: So was I.
29:19
Speaker 1: Yeah. I had the 49ers, so I was happy. I mean,
29:23
Speaker 1: I wasn't happy. I prefer to have been wrong. I
29:26
Speaker 1: would be happier if the Rams won.
29:28
Speaker 6: When we grew up on a farm, we used to
29:30
Speaker 6: drink the milk hot out of the cow.
29:33
Speaker 2: So, I mean, literally, it would come in in.
29:35
Speaker 6: A jug, and we would have it with our cereal.
29:37
Speaker 6: So you couldn't do that now because we'd get all
29:40
Speaker 6: sick from unpasteurized milk.
29:43
Speaker 1: Yes, there's a word they came up with for that.
29:46
Speaker 1: It's called disgusting.
29:49
Speaker 2: That's when you grew up on a farm.
29:51
Speaker 6: Not if you grew up on a farm.
29:52
Speaker 1: I didn't grow up on a farm. I grew up
29:54
Speaker 1: around farms, but I didn't grow up in a farm.
29:55
Speaker 1: I was around a bunch of orange groves, which is
29:57
Speaker 1: like not cows and stuff, but a.
30:00
Speaker 2: Lot of that.
30:01
Speaker 6: A fish swam into a wall, a concrete wall. He said,
30:10
Speaker 6: guess what the fish said when he crashed into a
30:12
Speaker 6: concrete wall?
30:14
Speaker 4: What?
30:14
Speaker 2: Damn it.
30:18
Speaker 6: Welcome.
30:19
Speaker 1: Thank you. All right, go away. Let's go to Stevie Meatballs.
30:23
Speaker 1: I got to get this guy on. He's a legend.
30:25
Speaker 1: Stevie Meatballs from the Sunshine State. Hello, Mr. Meatballs.
30:30
Speaker 2: Hello. I've got news. I've got news. Big news.
30:34
Speaker 1: We got news. Big news. Big, giant meatball news.
30:40
Speaker 2: Tua's oblique injury is by design and probably fake.
30:49
Speaker 1: Are you saying there's a deep state conspiracy here?
30:52
Speaker 2: I'm saying he's not ready to play game one because
30:55
Speaker 2: he's not an NFL quarterback. And the only way he
31:00
Speaker 2: accomplished anything in Miami was by extreme effort. Remember, first,
31:07
Speaker 2: he didn't know the playbook. And then he had to
31:12
Speaker 2: take judo to learn how to fall. And then he
31:16
Speaker 2: gained weight and did all this extra training. to bulk up,
31:20
Speaker 2: and then the next season he lost weight so he
31:23
Speaker 2: could be faster. Well, yeah, that lightning-quick speed we saw
31:27
Speaker 2: him running out of the pocket. Now he's in Atlanta, okay,
31:32
Speaker 2: and he can't be coddled anymore. He's a veteran now.
31:35
Speaker 2: He can't be coddled anymore. He doesn't know the damn playbook.
31:39
Speaker 2: He's fumbling his second snap of the preseason.
31:47
Speaker 1: He's not prepared. Can I ask you, do you feel
31:49
Speaker 1: better now? As a Dolphin fan, do you want to
31:52
Speaker 1: attack him any other part you want to attack Tua?
31:54
Speaker 1: Go ahead, get it all out right now. Just unload
31:58
Speaker 1: on Tua. I think there's one more haymaker you got.
32:01
Speaker 1: One more haymaker for the Samoan sniper. Go ahead.
32:06
Speaker 2: After game one is over, he's better off not having played.
32:11
Speaker 2: He looks better than if he does play. He's milking
32:16
Speaker 2: it for all he's worth. He's a gold-breaking idiot. And
32:20
Speaker 2: he gave it his all in Miami, but he just stinks.
32:23
Speaker 2: He needs to go home. Mark my words, he's not
32:26
Speaker 2: going to hang on as a backup quarterback for years.
32:30
Speaker 2: He's not going to be one of those. He's going
32:31
Speaker 2: to go away soon because he stinks.
32:35
Speaker 1: All right. Well, there we go. Tremendous assault there. That's
32:39
Speaker 1: from Miami Dolphin fan, friend of the show, the great
32:41
Speaker 1: Stevie Meatballs. Someday we'll do an event in Florida, and
32:46
Speaker 1: we will meet Stevie Meatballs. Almost met him in Ohio.
32:49
Speaker 1: He had a blind bowling he was doing in Ohio
32:53
Speaker 1: or something like that. But he was up in Cleveland,
32:56
Speaker 1: and I was in Cincinnati, and the weekend didn't work out,
32:58
Speaker 1: and so we didn't end up meeting. Let's say hello.
33:00
Speaker 1: Here's a blast from the past. No Job Junior. Hello,
33:05
Speaker 1: No Job Junior. What's cracking, Benny Radio?
33:09
Speaker 2: I thought you said I wasn't going to call.
33:10
Speaker 6: Back, man.
33:12
Speaker 1: Well, then the Rams lost, so I figured you'd call
33:15
Speaker 1: back at that point.
33:16
Speaker 6: Hey, how about that Seattle secondary?
33:20
Speaker 1: Not impressed.
33:20
Speaker 6: You're not going to eat crow tonight?
33:23
Speaker 1: Why would I eat crow? If the other quarterback tossed
33:26
Speaker 1: you the ball, anybody's going to make those interceptions. Those
33:29
Speaker 1: weren't great plays by the Seahawks secondary. That was encompassed.
33:33
Speaker 1: That was malfeasance. That was malfeasance by you-know-who, Mr. Drek May.
33:40
Speaker 4: Okay, well, hey, we'll take it.
33:42
Speaker 1: I'll tell you what.
33:43
Speaker 2: There's one reason why we won the game.
33:45
Speaker 5: It's kind of a secret, but I'll let you know.
33:47
Speaker 6: It's, you know, all the Patriots and you included, the
33:50
Speaker 6: Seahawks are your father.
33:51
Speaker 2: Welcome to the dark side.
33:56
Speaker 1: Junior. Come on, man. You got to work on that.
33:59
Speaker 1: What are you doing? No job, Junior. What is that? Okay.
34:04
Speaker 1: What is that? All right. Go away. Thank you. All right.
34:06
Speaker 1: It is the Ben Maller Show. No job, Junior. He
34:13
Speaker 1: will only call up after Seahawk wins and Ram losses.
34:18
Speaker 1: That is the time he will call up. That is it.
34:21
Speaker 1: All right, it is the Ben Maller Show. If you'd
34:24
Speaker 1: like to be part, 877-99 on Fox. That's 877-996-6369. You
34:25
Speaker 1: can join the talk festivus here. And Big Ben's. lame
34:38
Speaker 1: jokes of the week for the rest of the hour.
34:41
Speaker 1: Do we have Weed Man? Is he there ready to go?
34:43
Speaker 2: Is he?
34:44
Speaker 1: Okay. He's always here. The guy never showed up. He
34:47
Speaker 1: couldn't keep a job, Weed Man, because he never showed
34:49
Speaker 1: up to work. He shows up to this radio show
34:53
Speaker 1: twice a week, did the podcast with me, did the
34:56
Speaker 1: mailbag with JT the Wingman and him. Unbelievable.
35:00
Speaker 2: All right.
35:00
Speaker 1: So we'll get to that. Big Ben's lame jokes of
35:02
Speaker 1: the week, and we will do it.
35:05
Speaker 4: Next be sure to catch live editions of the ben
35:07
Speaker 4: maller show weekdays at 2 a.m eastern 11 p.m pacific.
35:11
Speaker 1: Ben maller show on fox sports radio we know you
35:15
Speaker 1: have options not good ones we thank you for listening
35:17
Speaker 1: check out the iheart radio app you can find the
35:21
Speaker 1: ben maller show streaming live on fox sports radio's channel
35:25
Speaker 1: also on your local radio stations of course but on
35:27
Speaker 1: the iheart app on any device you have you get
35:31
Speaker 1: the ben mather show on the fox sports radio channel
35:33
Speaker 1: live you get the ben mather show podcast and the
35:34
Speaker 1: fifth hour podcast with the great ross porter dodger broadcaster
35:39
Speaker 1: will check out well former dodger broadcaster and a guy
35:42
Speaker 1: that i worked with back in my younger days when
35:44
Speaker 1: i did stuff with the dodgers and ross will be
35:46
Speaker 1: on to yap away here on the fifth hour podcast
35:50
Speaker 1: so check that out on the iheart app thank you
35:53
Speaker 1: thank you thank you.
35:56
Speaker 4: Knock, knock.
35:57
Speaker 1: Who's there?
35:58
Speaker 4: Lame week. Lame week who?
36:00
Speaker 1: It's Big Ben's Lame Joke of the Week. And away
36:04
Speaker 1: we go. We welcome in from Hollywood, Florida, friend of
36:09
Speaker 1: the show and a man that has had really good
36:12
Speaker 1: attendance for a long time. The one and only. His
36:15
Speaker 1: name is Billy. We call him by his stage name,
36:18
Speaker 1: Weed Man Hippie.
36:21
Speaker 6: Woo! Hey, Ben, I love you.
36:26
Speaker 1: What's going on, Weed Man?
36:30
Speaker 2: Make me laugh. Hey, I want to thank Corito for
36:33
Speaker 2: sending me food. Thank you, Corito.
36:35
Speaker 1: I heard about that. I heard he sent you some McDonald's.
36:38
Speaker 1: Is that correct?
36:39
Speaker 2: Yeah, he did.
36:40
Speaker 1: That was great. Yeah? What did he send you?
36:44
Speaker 2: He sent me McDonald's. He sent me a Big Mac
36:46
Speaker 2: and fries and soda.
36:48
Speaker 1: It's a classic American meal right there, yeah.
36:51
Speaker 2: He sent me a steak from Outback Steakhouse.
36:53
Speaker 1: He was great. Wow, he sent you a steak? That's crazy.
36:57
Speaker 1: I'm going to fat you up. Here we go, Weed Man.
36:59
Speaker 1: These are actual jokes by actual listeners. What happens when
37:02
Speaker 1: someone steps in a pile of dog poop on the sidewalk? What? Well,
37:07
Speaker 1: that ruins Weed Man's dinner. That's John in Youngstown, Ohio.
37:14
Speaker 1: John's got some vicious jokes. What does Weed Man do
37:18
Speaker 1: with a marijuana-infused potato?
37:23
Speaker 6: What?
37:24
Speaker 1: You bake it. That's from Eek in Roseville, Minnesota.
37:28
Speaker 2: All right.
37:29
Speaker 1: Did you hear that Weed Man finally filled out a
37:33
Speaker 1: job application?
37:35
Speaker 2: Wow, really?
37:36
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah. Apparently under the job requirements, you wrote Weed Man,
37:39
Speaker 1: you want six figures, one hour work week, no weekends,
37:44
Speaker 1: unlimited weed, and you're not available during the Ben Maller show.
37:47
Speaker 1: Is that true, Weed Man? Is that accurate?
37:49
Speaker 2: Yeah. All right.
37:50
Speaker 1: Very funny. I'm sure that was not from Lisa. Why
37:56
Speaker 1: doesn't Weed Man drink alcohol?
37:59
Speaker 4: Why?
38:00
Speaker 1: Well, it turns out Weed Man likes to be high
38:03
Speaker 1: and dry. That's Surfer Todd, the comedian. And this one
38:09
Speaker 1: from George in Uvalde, Texas. He says, why did Weed
38:12
Speaker 1: Man hippie line up dolls near his grill?
38:14
Speaker 4: Wow, why?
38:16
Speaker 2: Why?
38:17
Speaker 1: Well, apparently he was preparing for a barbecue. Barbecue. Well,
38:25
Speaker 1: I don't know if you heard about this, but Weed
38:27
Speaker 1: Man went to a mindfulness class. How about that?
38:31
Speaker 2: Wow, really? Yeah, yeah.
38:33
Speaker 1: Five minutes in, he said, wait, I've been doing this
38:36
Speaker 1: my whole life, doing nothing. Now there's a name for it? Yes.
38:42
Speaker 1: You definitely have been ahead of your time on that,
38:45
Speaker 1: Weed Man. Sure. Again, not from Lisa. Did you hear
38:48
Speaker 1: Weed Man? Weed Man became so close to being hired
38:52
Speaker 1: for a job.
38:54
Speaker 2: Really? Yeah, yeah.
38:56
Speaker 1: But then he heard that no job was available because
38:59
Speaker 1: he was already high. He was already high. Mike, Mike.
39:06
Speaker 1: Mike the Leprechaun. All right, what do we got? Some feedback. Now,
39:08
Speaker 1: Lorena and Weed Man Hippie have an interesting cockroach connection.
39:13
Speaker 1: You hear about that?
39:14
Speaker 2: Really?
39:15
Speaker 4: Hi, Lorena.
39:16
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah.
39:17
Speaker 1: Hi, Weed Man. So Lorena, it turns out, runs with
39:20
Speaker 1: the cockroach. Weed Man creates the roaches. So there is that.
39:23
Speaker 1: There's a connection. to this mike mike the leprechaun oh
39:28
Speaker 1: all right page down here what happened when weed man
39:31
Speaker 1: hippie tried to mix human dna with zebra dna what
39:37
Speaker 1: they kicked you out of the zoo unfortunately i don't
39:39
Speaker 1: know why george in uvalde texas why does weed man
39:44
Speaker 1: like going to get his hair cut Why? You like
39:48
Speaker 1: catching a buzz. It's Andrew. There you go. What does
39:54
Speaker 1: the X-Lax company say about Poppy's pics? Wow, what? They
40:02
Speaker 1: say that's a lot of crap, is what they say.
40:05
Speaker 1: All right. What did the sexy cannibal say after her
40:11
Speaker 1: date with Mike the Leprechaun? She said there was no
40:15
Speaker 1: coffin at the funeral. That's the wrong punchline. I screwed
40:19
Speaker 1: up the punchline.
40:20
Speaker 6: Oh, no.
40:20
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, Rosie.