Latest / Forged In The Dark / Isn't That Interesting
Transcript
- Forged In The Dark: I recently read a quote that I didn't love, but I loved the message underneath of it. The quote said, Don't do something permanently stupid because you are temporarily upset. Isn't this an interesting concept. And it has me thinking of reactions and responses. Welcome to Forged in the Dark. I'm your host, Jamie. Let's dig in. What if you could be the observer of your own experience? What if you could be the fly on the wall in your own life, in your own conversations? And I'm not saying don't be an active participant in your life. I'm talking about that moment. Because We've all been there at some point where something comes flying out of our mouth that we can't take back. And not all words come with recovery. Not all words, you can't you can't erase words with an I'm sorry. And sometimes there are long-term ramifications. That you never ever get to fully come back from. So, why wouldn't you do everything in your power to create a hospitable environment within yourself and create a habit of responding instead of reacting? Now, I was recently at a social event and my friend Anna and I, we were we were just laughing and I don't even remember what she said to me, but my response was, isn't that so interesting? And she almost like doubled over laughing. And I said, What's so funny? She said, You just said, isn't it interesting? And I said, okay. She said, you say that all the time. You say that in conversation. You say that on the podcast. And I do. isn't it interesting? It's powerful. It's backed in science. And it was introduced to me at a time, As as I was getting to this place where where the new beliefs were starting to override the old limiting beliefs, where I was recognizing where my body was reacting before I even had a chance to think about what was going on around me. And this is what happened. It's like a it's a physiology. It's a It is a physiological response in your body. Your body is your first responder. So whatever the stimuli is, whether it is someone else's words, a smell, a song, anything. Anything that is brought up that well, put you into the stress response, but brought up that kind of like dukes up, I'm ready to go. Like, like. Stuff is gonna come flying out of my mouth because I'm ready to fight, right? So, how do you stop that? How do you stop it in real time? How do you apply it to every area of your life? The phrase, isn't it interesting? Is doing like five different science-backed things all in real time. It is creating a pause. It is creating a space for curiosity. And it is creating a space for you to get a new perspective. So think about it. You're in that conversation, and someone says something and everything turns on in your body. You can feel it. Your jaw has just clenched, your shoulders are stiff. You know how your body clenches when you're stressed. You know what happens right before you want to be like, yo, let's put up the dukes, let's go. That moment. What if in that moment you were able to stop everything? And the only words that came out of your mouth were isn't that interesting? What if? Isn't that interesting? Three little words. What if three little words create enough space for you to allow yourself to look at this situation different in real time? For you to not take it personal, for you to not react, for you to not be in judgment, for you to not get defensive. Now, my friend and I, we had this whole conversation because this is the reason that I use this phrase so often. I am a genuinely curious person. And anytime something comes up that I don't know what it is or I don't understand, I always look it up. I I if anything, I spend a lot of time doing research on things that I am simply curious about. Why did I feel this sensation in them in my body? What is this concept that this person was just talking about? I mean, I mean, I understand it, but why? Let me go deeper. So I I am always the first one to plug in what I'm curious about and learn as much as as I can about the subject. But what I find Is often my initial assessment was flawed. And and I'm not saying it was wrong, I'm saying it was flawed, it was skewed by emotion. So when we're thinking about reacting versus responding, I'm going to give you a whole nother way to think about this. What is the reaction costing you? How could a response benefit you? Now let's think of this. The cost being expensive might be the loss of employment, the loss of a relationship, romantic or platonic, doesn't matter. It might be a loss. What are you going to lose energetically? How much time and energy are you going to spend because you reacted? How much damage control do you have to do? How expensive is are these words? This reaction, however, you reacted, how expensive is it? Versus the cost of a response. The cost of a response is going to take you a moment of intentional reflection. A moment Of not being in judgment, not judging yourself or the other person, staying incredibly curious. Any questions that you can ask yourself when you are choosing how to react or respond, they're important because you want to keep your brain busy on the solution, not the problem And when you are able to See a different perspective. It doesn't mean you have to get on board. It doesn't mean you have to agree. But when you can see both sides of the story, what could have potentially just been very expensive became very inexpensive. You can't know what you don't know until you do. But once you do, it becomes your responsibility to do something different. where are you on this? Do you respond? Do you react? Do you like the quote? Don't do something permanently stupid because you're temporarily upset. What do you have to lose? Anytime someone says something to you, anything at all, if you simply Think, isn't that interesting? And then you do this hundreds or thousands of time in the dark with nobody watching or with a person standing right in front of you. Time, patience, and repetition. Add, isn't this interesting to your vocabulary today? Learn, learn. From my mistakes. It took me years. It took me years. And it took me time and energy that I will never get back. And isn't it? Interesting has been probably one of the most simple, most powerful tools I have ever used. so go ahead. put it in action in your life today. Put it in action in your life today. Spend the entire weekend finding everything interesting. I love this flower. Isn't this interesting? I hate this chicken sandwich. Isn't it interesting? I mean, just practice it in all the tiny little ways in your life. Because when it comes to the relationships that matter the most, you don't want to find yourself reacting when all it took was an interesting to get to a response. Okay, that's what I have for you today. Until next time.