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Gratitude with Mary Leung · Lean Out Podcast

• 0:00
  Welcome to the lean out podcast.
• 0:02
  I'm your host, Dr.
• 0:04
  Don baker.
• 0:05
  Are you looking for a new approach to authentic and sustainable work-life balance?
• 0:10
  You've come to the right place.
• 0:12
  Listen as i interview amazing women professionals who've taken steps to lean out and find balance on their own terms Hello?
• 0:21
  Hello.
• 0:21
  Thanks for being here.
• 0:23
  Today.
• 0:24
  I have a guest named Dr.
• 0:26
  Mary Long, we are going to talk about how she succumbed to the arrivals fallacy as an early career physician in medical hematology, and oncology.
• 0:37
  And this concept is something that i talk about in my book lean out a professional woman's guide to finding authentic work-life balance I'm starting to have women professionals contact me to be guests on the podcast.
• 0:51
  And I just can't say enough about how happy I am that people are finding this podcast and are reaching out.
• 0:59
  Wanting to be guests, if you are one of those people who has a story to share a lean out journey, please don't hesitate to contact to me through the contact form on my website, practice balance.com.
• 1:15
  And also, if you have found these episodes particularly helpful or inspiring, I would really appreciate it.
• 1:22
  If you share it with people that you know and love.
• 1:26
  And also, if you would, please leave a review at your earliest convenience on at least iTunes and also helpful would be Spotify.
• 1:36
  If that is where you listen to podcasts.
• 1:39
  So a quick bio on Mary Dr.
• 1:43
  Mary lung is a physician board certified in internal medicine, medical oncology, and hematology.
• 1:50
  As the founder and CEO of shining with gratitude MD, she works as a certified life coach who is passionate about serving physicians who are stressed.
• 2:00
  Overwhelmed and burned out.
• 2:03
  We talk a lot about leaning out from how you thought your career was supposed to look.
• 2:09
  And then time management and ways that Mary was able to find at least two hours during each of her work days.
• 2:19
  Through the power of coaching and.
• 2:21
  How that motivated her to become a coach and help other physicians.
• 2:26
  Do the same thing.
• 2:27
  i hope you enjoy this conversation with mary lung
• 2:33
  ML-Dawn: I would love if you would introduce yourself and tell us how your work life balance is maybe different than people that are already in your profession.
• 2:42
  ML-Mary: Thank you so much for having me today.
• 2:44
  ML-Mary: I am Mary Leung, and I work as a full time hematologist, oncologist in a big group practice, which is part of a big health system.
• 2:56
  ML-Mary: And how I came about where I am right now, I just want to briefly talk about where I was just not too long ago.
• 3:06
  ML-Mary: I think Most of us physicians, I just wanted to help people.
• 3:12
  ML-Mary: I just wanted to become a doctor.
• 3:15
  ML-Mary: Seems like the most straightforward path to do.
• 3:18
  ML-Mary: My parents were also physicians before they retired and with their influence, I think it was just natural for me to become a doctor.
• 3:28
  ML-Mary: When I came out of fellowship and, became the attending, I thought that was it.
• 3:34
  ML-Mary: That was, you know, the highest point of my life.
• 3:37
  ML-Mary: I just wanted to see patients.
• 3:40
  ML-Mary: I went into private practice, for that reason.
• 3:44
  ML-Mary: Before I knew it, I started to be really tired and I was seeing many, many patients, uh, up to 30 patients a day.
• 3:57
  ML-Mary: And I was going home later and At that time, I had young kids.
• 4:03
  ML-Mary: I really wanted to be part of their lives and wanted to see them grow up, wanted to read them stories, talk them in and really have more interactions and show them more love.
• 4:18
  ML-Mary: And so what I ended up doing was I would be Going home past seven o'clock at night and and then just to be with my kids after tuck them in.
• 4:32
  ML-Mary: I would still be working.
• 4:34
  ML-Mary: I would still be charting and I didn't really think much of it for a while.
• 4:40
  ML-Mary: As time went on for several years, I just felt like that wasn't living, I felt like I had no life.
• 4:47
  ML-Mary: I had nothing outside of work, and just rushing home to be kind of with my family, and then barely slept, maybe like five, six hours a night, and I felt miserable I was easily irritable.
• 5:03
  ML-Mary: I was stressed.
• 5:05
  ML-Mary: I I felt too much was going on and I didn't know what to do.
• 5:09
  ML-Mary: I, I wanted to quit my job many, many times, but then I thought that financially.
• 5:16
  ML-Mary: It wasn't a great idea.
• 5:18
  ML-Mary: Thought about, kind of thought about moving, to another state or, you know, just somewhere not in the New York area because, you know, New York is very saturated with physicians and the cost of living is very high.
• 5:33
  ML-Mary: But then I didn't really want to move because I myself already moved from my parents 8, 000 miles away from Hong Kong and they're still there.
• 5:43
  ML-Mary: I am here because of my husband's family.
• 5:47
  ML-Mary: So, and they're like my family, you know, my own biological family.
• 5:53
  ML-Mary: So I don't want to move from them.
• 5:55
  ML-Mary: So I felt kind of stuck.
• 5:57
  ML-Mary: So fast forward to the pandemic hits.
• 6:00
  ML-Mary: And that was when I had the first taste of going home.
• 6:04
  ML-Mary: on time or even a little bit earlier because I was only seeing a third of my patient load.
• 6:10
  ML-Mary: That was really wonderful.
• 6:12
  ML-Mary: Well, I didn't want the pandemic to happen.
• 6:15
  ML-Mary: That something good came out of it that I was thinking, what if I could experience that all the time I could go home on time?
• 6:26
  ML-Mary: And at that time I was Having a chance to just browse around and, um, I mean, I, I didn't even have my Facebook page, you know, before, before the pandemic.
• 6:36
  ML-Mary: I just discovered that, there's something called life coaching.
• 6:41
  ML-Mary: I didn't know that there was coaching outside of sports, you know, and at that time I was really feeling rock bottom.
• 6:49
  ML-Mary: I didn't know how I could feel better.
• 6:52
  ML-Mary: I didn't know how I could change the situation of my work.
• 6:56
  ML-Mary: And definitely did not have work life balance.
• 7:00
  ML-Mary: So I just pulled the trigger and, joined a women's physician coaching program and just to learn more about what this coaching thing was.
• 7:09
  ML-Mary: To my surprise, actually, It made sense to me, and I thought, how come no one taught me these things?
• 7:17
  ML-Mary: I started to work with one of the coaches to see how I could change my work situation to going home on time.
• 7:27
  ML-Mary: And, um, the long story short was that in within about three months I went from going home past seven and still had work to do and sometimes even on the weekends to have charting to complete to going home by 5 to 5 30.
• 7:45
  ML-Mary: And, that was when I was back to the full patient load, you know, seeing 22 to 27 patients usually.
• 7:55
  ML-Mary: When I was Consistently doing that, going home 5 to 5.
• 7:59
  ML-Mary: 30, I was really amazed.
• 8:02
  ML-Mary: I, I thought, wow, I had time now to do things.
• 8:07
  ML-Mary: I could really spend time with my family.
• 8:10
  ML-Mary: I could do other things.
• 8:12
  ML-Mary: I want to have more in depth learning about life coaching.
• 8:15
  ML-Mary: So I, joined a certification program and became a life coach myself.
• 8:20
  ML-Mary: And so, when I joined the program, I didn't even think of being a coach myself.
• 8:27
  ML-Mary: I just really wanted to learn more because, you know, as physicians, we want to get to the bottom of everything.
• 8:33
  ML-Mary: I thought, well, since I could do this almost impossible thing of going home on time to become my possible.
• 8:42
  ML-Mary: ability and reality.
• 8:45
  ML-Mary: What if I could help other physicians to do the same?
• 8:47
  ML-Mary: Because you know, a lot of my colleagues, that's all they complain about.
• 8:51
  ML-Mary: It's like charting, charting.
• 8:53
  ML-Mary: We're not charting machine yet.
• 8:55
  ML-Mary: We were doing all these charting and after hours, weekends, many charts open, but they have to be closed.
• 9:01
  ML-Mary: Otherwise they cannot.
• 9:03
  ML-Mary: Be build, you know, all these things that well, what if I could help them to do the same that I could because now that I'm going home, five to 530, I get to do what I want to do.
• 9:19
  ML-Mary: And, um, and I actually discovered that I enjoy.
• 9:24
  ML-Mary: Coaching other physicians because I enjoy the human connection and and that's what I enjoy seeing patients to is to have that human connection and not just to talk about their diseases or diagnosis.
• 9:41
  ML-Mary: With coaching is I can take my time to have that connection, and not like just a 15 minute time slots that.
• 9:49
  ML-Mary: the next patient, otherwise you're going to run late.
• 9:52
  ML-Mary: So, so then I started to have my own physician coaching practice and help other physicians to do the same.
• 10:05
  ML-Dawn: So you get some of the things that you miss in your hemlock practice with the coaching practice.
• 10:12
  ML-Dawn: It sounds like You have taken on like two job roles now and yet you're doing it in less time than you used to do the one role.
• 10:23
  ML-Dawn: So tell me how a typical week looks for you as far as mixing these two work roles and what your day to day life is.
• 10:35
  ML-Mary: SO I see patients four days a week, Tuesday through Friday.
• 10:40
  ML-Mary: I work five days a week.
• 10:42
  ML-Mary: So, Mondays, I am doing administrative work, but also I have to log on into the hospital system because I still get messages, phone calls that I have to answer, but just not seeing patients.
• 10:56
  ML-Mary: So that is usually Monday through Friday, um, till about five or a little bit after five.
• 11:04
  ML-Mary: So then after that, I do have a coaching clients.
• 11:08
  ML-Mary: I do one on one physician coaching.
• 11:10
  ML-Mary: And I have my own coaching because I believe that, you know, me as a coach.
• 11:17
  ML-Mary: I am also an example for other people.
• 11:20
  ML-Mary: And I feel like coaching works for me.
• 11:23
  ML-Mary: So, that's something that it's my maintenance that I continue and I also have joined another group.
• 11:32
  ML-Mary: Coaching program that meets once a week.
• 11:35
  ML-Mary: And then otherwise, I just spread out my time doing, um, I do my blog posts.
• 11:41
  ML-Mary: I do my, you know, kind of like just a coaching related things that I.
• 11:46
  ML-Mary: actually enjoy doing.
• 11:47
  ML-Mary: Weekends is I I'm the swim taxi for my kids.
• 11:52
  ML-Mary: And I, drive them to swim practice or meets.
• 11:56
  ML-Mary: We also get together with friends Sundays, I go to church.
• 11:59
  ML-Mary: So it's pretty simple, but that's kind of like a simple life that I'm enjoying in the summertime.
• 12:05
  ML-Mary: We tried it.
• 12:06
  ML-Mary: As much as possible to go to the beach because I love the beach.
• 12:10
  ML-Mary: And that's what I enjoy doing.
• 12:12
  ML-Mary: Just even just walk on the sand or or sitting down and just listen to the waves.
• 12:19
  ML-Mary: So I love to pick up shells.
• 12:21
  ML-Mary: And, my husband loves to fish.
• 12:24
  ML-Mary: So we all get to do something, at the beach.
• 12:28
  ML-Mary: Sometimes we go clamming, uh, and then we eat the clams afterwards.
• 12:32
  ML-Mary: I think of that as a simple life, but at the same time is that I really enjoy it.
• 12:39
  ML-Mary: And I have really a lot of gratitude of just What I have right now because I really didn't think, you know, just a few years back that I could have this life that I really can enjoy.
• 12:57
  ML-Dawn: wHat you said about the simple things and almost kind of apologizing for it and there's nothing to apologize for it's just what is the most important thing, you know, simple things can be beautiful and also taking delight in those simple things is what leads to us feeling meaning and feeling happiness long term.
• 13:18
  ML-Dawn: And I think it's really counterculture to take joy in those simple things.
• 13:25
  ML-Dawn: And to really recognize the little things each day that are giving the pleasure that, you know, you're describing, which is wonderful.
• 13:35
  ML-Dawn: when you were first describing your work life balance, you were talking about starting out as an attending and the way that you described it, it's so classic.
• 13:45
  ML-Dawn: Of a lot of the problems that women professionals are facing, which are getting out of their training, for, number of years, super hard work dedication to get to this profession and you get to the point where you're the boss and then usually.
• 14:00
  ML-Dawn: You have young kids, or you're trying to have kids.
• 14:03
  ML-Dawn: You've got a debt burden, or you're at least trying to, get on your feet financially, um, after a number of years of a very low pay or no pay.
• 14:12
  ML-Dawn: And, that really leads to that period of feeling stuck.
• 14:18
  ML-Dawn: What was it that you saw?
• 14:21
  ML-Dawn: Or read or heard that really just resonated with you that said, I need to make this change now.
• 14:28
  ML-Mary: I remember it was, I was just browsing my husband's Facebook because I didn't have my Facebook page that it was this ad.
• 14:39
  ML-Mary: About, physicians doing things outside of medicine, and that it sounded like, I don't remember.
• 14:48
  ML-Mary: What exactly the ad was, but it was about that, oh, you know, physicians are doing other things.
• 14:55
  ML-Mary: So, of course it talked about work-life balance or even have that other career replace your current, you know, clinical medicine.
• 15:04
  ML-Mary: I mean, that's not something that I'm thinking about right now'cause I love my patients, but it was just something that, oh.
• 15:12
  ML-Mary: I've never thought of it.
• 15:13
  ML-Mary: That's how I got introduced as one of the things that other physicians do was coaching.
• 15:20
  ML-Mary: And that really caught my eye.
• 15:24
  ML-Mary: Just knowing that, hey, there were other options and, and it's not just like, one way ticket to, attending or even, you know, if you're in academic medicine that, oh, you're supposed to be the professor and tenure and everything, it's just opened up a lot of different possibilities.
• 15:44
  ML-Dawn: That's great.
• 15:44
  ML-Dawn: I think a lot of us feel like that there's one prescribed path.
• 15:49
  ML-Dawn: And if we maybe know that there are other paths.
• 15:53
  ML-Dawn: We still feel like there's one path that is, like, the path that you're supposed to take that's the path that is to happiness or to success or to, whatever it is that you think is success, like a lot of money or, prosperity or security or something like that.
• 16:10
  ML-Dawn: And so just seeing something made you open your mind to, hey, there are different ways that people can be doctors and still be doing other things or, Maybe they don't do clinical work or they just do a part time like, you know, like I do.
• 16:23
  ML-Dawn: I also really like my clinical work.
• 16:25
  ML-Dawn: I'm not ready to let it go right now, even though I could if I wanted to.
• 16:29
  ML-Dawn: But, like you, it's enjoyable.
• 16:31
  ML-Dawn: And I like to have that mix of multiple different things, basically.
• 16:36
  ML-Dawn: So when you decided to do this, besides like, well, I don't know if this is going to work.
• 16:42
  ML-Dawn: Was there any other sort of uncertainty?
• 16:44
  ML-Mary: First of all, thankfully, I have a very supportive husband and also I'm very thankful that financially, we don't really have a lot of issues.
• 16:55
  ML-Mary: Right now I think I'm still kind of like just really limiting my coaching practice to be, you know, I think I made a promise to myself that I am not going to trade one over one to another or one burnout to another and I make it to the point that, hey, coaching is something that I enjoy.
• 17:14
  ML-Mary: So I'm going to keep it that way.
• 17:16
  ML-Mary: That, I'm not going to do any overwhelm because of the coaching practice.
• 17:21
  ML-Mary: So, I think the uncertainty part is really, questioning myself.
• 17:26
  ML-Mary: Oh, can I actually do this?
• 17:28
  ML-Mary: Because I never thought that I would do something like this with coaching.
• 17:32
  ML-Mary: Am I even, you know, up for it?
• 17:34
  ML-Mary: I think us human beings, we're always kind of, Living sometimes with certainty and sometimes in doubt, you know, sometimes we have the confidence of doing things and then there is.
• 17:44
  ML-Mary: There's just spurts of time that was like, are you sure?
• 17:47
  ML-Mary: Can you do it?
• 17:48
  ML-Mary: And I think just realizing that and just going back and say, and looking back that, Hey, you know what?
• 17:56
  ML-Mary: I have a lot of training.
• 17:57
  ML-Mary: I can do hard things.
• 17:59
  ML-Mary: I have gone through so many different things.
• 18:01
  ML-Mary: Actually one of the things that my coach reminded me was, uh, I told her just casually that, when I was eight years old, my mom put me in this, outward bound school.
• 18:10
  ML-Mary: You know, camp in Hong Kong that, you know, we basically, I live by myself with the group of people at eight years old.
• 18:17
  ML-Mary: We lived in the wild, like camping was really barely anything for two, two nights.
• 18:23
  ML-Mary: I was like, I didn't really think of it or anything.
• 18:25
  ML-Mary: And then my coach was like, that was amazing.
• 18:27
  ML-Mary: I mean, I came by myself to.
• 18:29
  ML-Mary: you know, boarding school for, high school before going for college.
• 18:34
  ML-Mary: And that was also another really hard thing that I accomplished.
• 18:38
  ML-Mary: So, so I kind of remind myself that, hey, you know what, I actually don't give myself enough credit for all the things that I've gone through.
• 18:46
  ML-Dawn: So since you've talked about the power of coaching for you, tell me how you take.
• 18:52
  ML-Dawn: Your clients through that idea of getting clear on what you want, what do you have them do
• 18:59
  ML-Mary: Yeah, so it starts off with really the simple question was, so what do you really want?
• 19:05
  ML-Mary: And I think because most of my physician clients are having trouble with charting.
• 19:13
  ML-Mary: So I asked them, why, why do you want to go home on time?
• 19:18
  ML-Mary: You know, what is your ultimate goal?
• 19:20
  ML-Mary: You know, so, um, for example, for me is I want to go home on time so that I can spend time with my family.
• 19:27
  ML-Mary: So most of them are saying pretty similar things like, you know, they want to be with their family or they want to exercise or they want to do something that they enjoy doing outside of medicine.
• 19:40
  ML-Mary: So I think to be able to see that as their goal, that will give them a direction to, you know, to how to work about it.
• 19:52
  ML-Mary: And I think.
• 19:54
  ML-Mary: The important thing is really to be able to visualize, what an ideal day is like.
• 20:02
  ML-Mary: And kind of work backwards and say, Okay.
• 20:05
  ML-Mary: You know, what actions can I take or what can I think of a focus on doing to make my actions more, in line with what I want to do?
• 20:17
  ML-Dawn: and you give an example of what you did personally in order to get that time back that you talked about where you had these like two or more hours that you were spending at work and then you switch things around.
• 20:31
  ML-Dawn: What did you do?
• 20:33
  ML-Mary: Yeah.
• 20:33
  ML-Mary: So I think it starts off with waking up in the morning.
• 20:39
  ML-Mary: Before coaching, I would be dreading getting out of bed and I was thinking, oh, it's another day of work, I didn't want to go to work, even though I enjoyed seeing patients, but at that point I didn't really have that joy of seeing patients anymore because I was so burnt out.
• 21:00
  ML-Mary: And so with After coaching.
• 21:04
  ML-Mary: So my my new me is I wake up in the morning and the first thing that I do while I'm still in bed is I practice gratitude.
• 21:17
  ML-Mary: I I'm just thankful for today.
• 21:19
  ML-Mary: I'm thankful that I'm still alive and for another day and that I get another day to you You know to grow and to learn and to serve.
• 21:32
  ML-Mary: And so it's something simple but I think sometimes we take things for granted.
• 21:37
  ML-Mary: So I think the more graduate I practice them, the happier I am.
• 21:42
  ML-Mary: So, so then when I when I go to the clinic.
• 21:46
  ML-Mary: I usually work with a nurse and a medical assistant.
• 21:51
  ML-Mary: So we kind of do a quick huddle in the morning.
• 21:54
  ML-Mary: Usually I already know what patients I'm seeing.
• 21:57
  ML-Mary: So I tell them, okay, this one needs a chemo, calendar.
• 22:02
  ML-Mary: So they know when to come back, when to do their treatment, that one needs a shot, so on and so forth.
• 22:07
  ML-Mary: And then I also tell them that Today is going to be a good day.
• 22:10
  ML-Mary: No matter what happens.
• 22:12
  ML-Mary: So everyone is on the same page because I also believe that no matter what happens, any surprises, I'm taking an account for that, even if a transformer exploded, which did.
• 22:25
  ML-Mary: It did one time, and I had no power.
• 22:29
  ML-Mary: We will still be on time.
• 22:30
  ML-Mary: We'll still take care of all the patients.
• 22:32
  ML-Mary: So I think that sets the tone for the day.
• 22:36
  ML-Mary: Throughout the day, I use that, energy of focus and determination and I think one of the most important things I learned is that, yeah, when you have, you know, 25 to 30 patients, it's very important to really see the patient and do the chart right away, because it's still fresh in your head.
• 22:56
  ML-Mary: And, when you wait till the end of the day, which I did.
• 22:59
  ML-Mary: A few years back was I, I was already tired.
• 23:03
  ML-Mary: I was shutting down.
• 23:05
  ML-Mary: I didn't want to do it.
• 23:06
  ML-Mary: And so I was taking two to three times longer to finish a chart.
• 23:12
  ML-Mary: And that was miserable.
• 23:13
  ML-Mary: It was miserable plus miserable with having to do it at the end of the day and thinking that I couldn't go home to see my kids and you know, all these not so good feelings.
• 23:26
  ML-Mary: So, um, seeing the patient doing the chart and Give myself the grace to say, Hey, it is okay to have the next patient wait a little bit longer so we could finish the chart because you're actually going to give them the full attention during that time and not thinking about three patients ago that all you forgot to do something.
• 23:48
  ML-Mary: Another thing is that I learned to minimize distractions.
• 23:53
  ML-Mary: So I told the front desk staff and the nurse, don't interrupt me while I'm seeing patients unless it's a really an emergency or doctor needs to talk to me right away, you know, that type of thing.
• 24:08
  ML-Mary: And another thing is I actually have kind of like scheduled breaks, it's important to have minimal interruptions, but it is also important to have schedule breaks like bathroom breaks.
• 24:23
  ML-Mary: Lunchtime, because it is very important to really recharge and refresh and just have, you know, I think the noontime lunch, which I used to skip in the past was I thought that well, I had to work straight through.
• 24:40
  ML-Mary: You know, and going to the bathroom, forget it, you know, I would be like bursting my bladder before I went to the bathroom.
• 24:47
  ML-Mary: But that's not good practice because, you know, we really do need our physical health and our mental health to, have a well being to be able to give it our all to patient care.
• 24:59
  ML-Mary: And, oh, another interruption that I minimize is just checking emails.
• 25:05
  ML-Mary: chEcking emails messages.
• 25:07
  ML-Mary: I just put it like two times or at most three times in the morning time.
• 25:12
  ML-Mary: And again, you know, two to three times in the afternoon, because I didn't want to check them too late because one of the things that I also learned to do is to delegate.
• 25:23
  ML-Mary: For example, some simple messages that I thought an MA or nurse could just call back the patient or the, other clinical office, I would just tell them to do, because I used to believe that I had to do every single thing myself, but that also is not true.
• 25:42
  ML-Mary: So all these things add together.
• 25:46
  ML-Mary: Is that I actually came back two and a half hours and, and these days I'm consistently going home by five o'clock.
• 25:55
  ML-Dawn: That's great.
• 25:55
  ML-Dawn: And thank you for describing that in such detail.
• 25:58
  ML-Dawn: Better for us to hear it in a concrete way, all these steps that, you identified, that you changed, and the effect that it made.
• 26:06
  ML-Dawn: So that's very helpful, and I'm really glad that you were able to do that.
• 26:11
  ML-Dawn: Is there anything else today that you would like to tell the audience of people who feel stuck, people who are on the treadmill of achievement and don't know how to get off, anything that you wish you knew when you were there?
• 26:26
  ML-Mary: Yeah, so I think that even though it may not feel that it's real, we always have a choice., we always have a choice to do things differently.
• 26:40
  ML-Mary: And I think that when I felt stuck was, I really felt stuck that I, cause I believed that I did not have a choice.
• 26:48
  ML-Mary: If you look at it differently, so right now it's.
• 26:53
  ML-Mary: I choose to stay in my job as full time because I enjoy seeing patients and I'm happy with the financial compensation that is providing me and my family.
• 27:07
  ML-Mary: So when I make it a choice.
• 27:10
  ML-Mary: that I make, then it's like, I am in control, which I am, you know, but I did not think of it that way.
• 27:16
  ML-Mary: So I think for, physicians out there, it's really important to realize that everything you do is a choice.
• 27:23
  ML-Mary: And of course you can also choose to work someplace else.
• 27:27
  ML-Mary: Uh, it may be.
• 27:29
  ML-Mary: A different place, a different state or a different compensation, different schedule, or even low comes, you know, anything like that.
• 27:38
  ML-Mary: And I think before you make the choice of changing your workplace is just to figure out what can you optimize in your current situation, I mean, of course, if you think that it is such a toxic environment that there's really no point of return and don't stay there any longer and just, you know, step back because I think that.
• 28:04
  ML-Mary: In terms of action, stepping back is also an action like just to go another direction.
• 28:11
  ML-Mary: It is an action.
• 28:12
  ML-Mary: Um, for me, I chose to just be optimizing, what I have right now.
• 28:18
  ML-Mary: And it seems to be working out for me.
• 28:20
  ML-Mary: And of course, everyone's situation is different.
• 28:24
  ML-Mary: I think another thing is, It sometimes may be hard when you're in a situation, you feel stuck, you feel overwhelmed, but at the same time is really focus on what you have and, be grateful for what you have.
• 28:42
  ML-Mary: Part of the thing I really realize is that so many people, or so many patients of mine, they You know, they're like, Okay, I work hard, you know, most of my life, and, you know, want to just retire and enjoy life, but only to have cancer,, and not be able to do that or spend time with their family.
• 29:03
  ML-Mary: So I think to be able to.
• 29:06
  ML-Mary: Live in the present and, be grateful for what you have right now and not take things for granted that will also, give you a different perspective.
• 29:17
  ML-Mary: I think the more we do it, the more natural it becomes, as part of our lives.
• 29:23
  ML-Mary: by focusing on that, then you've focused less on what you're lacking.
• 29:28
  ML-Mary: Also, help you with the clarity of your vision.
• 29:33
  ML-Dawn: Those are great things and I love that you brought it back to gratitude because your website has the theme of gratitude in it.
• 29:40
  ML-Dawn: So tell us again the name of your website and where we can find you.
• 29:44
  ML-Mary: Yeah, so my website is shining with gratitude md.
• 29:47
  ML-Mary: com.
• 29:48
  ML-Mary: I came up with that name is because with coaching, I just.
• 29:53
  ML-Mary: I became so grateful and, and I think with the gratitude, I'm just so happy with, of course, you know, I feel sad and angry and, you know, all these unpleasant emotions at times, but I think the proportion of those unpleasant emotions in my.
• 30:12
  ML-Mary: everyday being is a lot less percentage than than my pleasant emotions.
• 30:18
  ML-Mary: I am just very grateful for what I have, my family, my work, really even the opportunity to be coached and be the coach for other people.
• 30:31
  ML-Dawn: Yeah.
• 30:31
  ML-Dawn: Thank you so much, Mary.
• 30:34
  ML-Dawn: I appreciate you being on the podcast today.
• 30:38
  Mary is a great example of the power coaching can have on someone's life.
• 30:42
  After getting coached on her burnout and her lack of time efficiency at her job, she was able through several steps involving mindset shifts, and some habit changes.
• 30:54
  To find two more hours in her days.
• 30:56
  That is amazing.
• 30:58
  Here are my takeaways from our conversation.
• 31:02
  Number one.
• 31:04
  Open your mind to ways people are taking different paths in your profession.
• 31:09
  Don't assume the road everyone takes is the only way to make a living.
• 31:14
  Attend a conference.
• 31:15
  Join a new group.
• 31:17
  Listen to related podcasts and be ready to get inspired.
• 31:22
  There are so many ways to carve out a fulfilling work-life balance.
• 31:27
  Number two.
• 31:29
  You always have a choice.
• 31:31
  You are not stuck where you are, no matter how much it feels like it.
• 31:36
  Ask yourself what you want over and over until you really know.
• 31:41
  Consider starting a wants journal to get used to knowing what you want and cultivate a regular gratitude practice so that you can see how far you've come.
• 31:53
  Both personally, professionally.
• 31:55
  And in any other ways that matter to you.
• 31:59
  Number three.
• 32:00
  If you've benefited from something you've experienced or learned along your journey, share with others, and that can bring a sense of meaning and purpose to enhance your work-life balance.
• 32:12
  Even if it means that you might need to spend a little more time doing that sharing.
• 32:17
  It's all part of your own hero's journey.
• 32:22
  My parting question today to you is what are you grateful for right now?
• 32:30
  Thanks for listening to the lean out podcast.
• 32:33
  If you find these conversations inspiring and useful, please forward them to a friend and also leave a review on iTunes or Spotify so that other people can find them easier.
• 32:45
  If you want to get in touch with me, you can find me at my website, practice balanced.com, where you can subscribe to my newsletter and get updates regularly about new podcast episodes, blog posts, speaking, engagements, and coaching services.
• 33:02
  You can also support my work by buying my book, lean out a professional woman's guide to finding authentic work-life balance for yourself, a friend, family member, or coworker.
• 33:14
  Have a great day and we'll see you next time