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Break out of the Prison on your Mindset: Hear the Secrets from the Soul Whisperer · Authentic Living

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Welcome to authentic living with Roxanne, a global voice Radio.
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Join Roxanne Derhodge and her thought provoking conversations, the catalyst to live your life
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to the fullest.
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Hi, everyone.
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It's, Roxanne Dohaja of authentic living with Roxanne.
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Thanks so much again for tuning in this week.
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Today, I have, special guest that I recently, came in contact with through another colleague.
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Her name is Elena Chapman.
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Hi, Elena.
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Thanks coming on today.
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Ah, very glad.
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Solena's gonna be coming up to Canada in, it's gonna be about 4 weeks now.
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Where she'll be, one of her keynote speakers at the authentic connection movement event, and we
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feel privileged that she's coming up, from the Midwest, you know, to spend some time with us.
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So Elena has done a lot of things in her career.
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So I'm just gonna, tell you a little bit about her from a bio.
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I also see a bio kind of flat.
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So I wanna leave it to add anything in that she thinks, she wants you to hear.
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So she's a mentor, a speaker, and a tune 2 time international best selling author, and she's
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the founder of the savvy sisterhood, which I'm curious to know a lot more about Elena.
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She's an expert with a clear understanding of what it takes to manifest the life of joy,
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love, and pure abundance.
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Something that we're all looking for.
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So, Lena, is there anything that I missed, from your bio?
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Now this is just a mini bio.
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Is there anything that, you'd like to share with the listeners.
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Yeah.
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I've been coined the soul nurture, actually.
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Oh, okay.
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Yeah.
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Because I what I'm teaching, I'm teaching people how to control their thoughts, you know,
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their critical size so that they can hear that very special place that Mila Angelo said don't
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let anyone ever trod.
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You know, the place where our hopes or dreams are our compassion, the real us, the inner us,
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the soul, the energy, the divine energy.
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You can start to hear that.
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And you can start to guide your life by it.
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And then you do become master manifesters.
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Let's get that back.
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The soul nurture.
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That's an I really like that.
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Well, thank you.
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Yes.
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It I really I mean, just by hearing the term, I'm like, oh, that that sounds like such a nice
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space.
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It is.
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It is a wonderful space, and I love getting people to that point.
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So tell so tell tell us about you.
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Tell us a bit about you and, what got you to that space where you started to be a mentor?
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Oh, well, you want my story in other words,
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Sure.
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Whatever.
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I mean, obviously, you're doing what you love.
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I was watching a bit of a on your PBS special today.
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I, yeah, I was watching a bit of that, and I got a bit of it I didn't watch a whole thing to
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be truthful, but I I I got some of it, but I think it's, you know, it'd be a it's a
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fascinating story for you to tell.
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Well, well, it was, you know, I there was a time in my life.
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I in my marriage, I was told, you know, I gave away all my power, basically.
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And a lot of us do that.
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And for me, it was hard because my career was just really starting to take off when I got
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married.
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And he found it inconvenient.
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Granted I did work when everyone else was not because I did music.
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And you have to have people.
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You know?
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So, I ended up giving up my career, which kinda sent me into an identity crisis.
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And then, I had kids, and, I love my kids with all my heart.
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But even that wasn't he didn't even want me being the mom, really.
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He just wanted to be handy for him.
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Whenever he wanted to go out or whatever.
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So it was a very boring existence.
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And for someone like me, I really got, I was really not happy.
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And when I decided to be happy, that caused him to be, you know, if you have one person who's
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happy and one person that's not, Mhmm.
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There there's gonna be a problem if that one neither one wants to see the other one's side.
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For example, if I'm seeing his side, but he couldn't see mine.
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So it got me into then, I ended up getting a divorce.
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The divorce was very long and hard, though.
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It was five and a half years.
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Mhmm.
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And alongside of the divorce, I can't say it's linked to the divorce by any shape or the
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imagination.
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However, I was very severely bullied on every single front.
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That's what I can't tell you.
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Oh, you can't tell me.
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It's a it's a okay.
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You can't tell me.
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Well, I can't tell you what I think.
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And since I don't have the exact proof the court.
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Well, the court wouldn't even hear it.
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Oh, your kid.
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Okay.
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So you can generally talk about it, Toby.
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Can I talk about it?
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About the events because I have proof of those.
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Right.
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Cannot talk about who did it.
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Okay.
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I do know that, it was a very hard hard hard bullying.
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And it went on for about five and a half, six years.
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Wow.
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And so what happened and it's funny I met 3 other women.
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Around the United States who were getting the same kind.
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I used to think, is there a secret book?
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And, you know, that I don't know about sometimes.
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And, it was funny.
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I messed up.
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And if it turned out as I heard this, that those women lost everything.
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They lost his families.
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They lost their, their house on the hill, and they lost They lost all the money.
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They lost everything.
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Everything.
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Mhmm.
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And I did I did I I have my beautiful kids.
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I actually have them 247.
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I have my, house.
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I have enough money to be able to support them and take care of them, plus what I make.
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It's, it's it's just I was able to bloom.
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I was able to bloom.
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During that time, I was learning, you know, I was I did it because I knew I I gained the
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tools.
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I learned how I understood about perception.
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I understood that I didn't want I don't know.
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I'm just glad it wasn't mine.
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Oh my goodness.
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And, you know, and I tell everybody, so I'm so sorry everyone that's listening.
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I always say everybody turned that off.
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Yeah.
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I go.
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That's the first time it's happened since December.
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Oh, that's alright.
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No big deal.
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You know, I'm just like I said, I'm glad I'm driving.
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So you said you learned you did, obviously, with these other women, you did something
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different.
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And, you know, bullying whether it's of a child, you know, in my in my career as, you
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know, in different environments, I've I've actively seen bullying, you know, where it
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happened in different work environments.
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You see, you often see it with friendships, but with friendships, you know, you kinda see that
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you can you can make a choice to maybe step away, but certain contexts, you can't move
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away.
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You know, even when my son was young, he had a bit of a bullying situation.
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And his dad and I had to go in.
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And and, you know, if if we didn't get involved, you know, they were keeping him in
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from recess because he had finally said something that was inappropriate, and he was
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seven years old.
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Aw.
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You know, so then then when we he said to me, well, mom, I won't really be seeing kids today
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because you're keeping me in from lunch every day for a month.
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And I said, they are.
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I said, well, what happened?
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And then he proceeded to tell me, and then his dad what happened.
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And, you know, they, they weren't making us aware.
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No.
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They don't.
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Right?
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Which which and they weren't gonna teach them anything.
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Yeah.
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They weren't.
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And it doesn't.
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And and in our school, you know, as far as talking about kids getting bullied in the
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school my kids are at, they even teach them that you, have to remain the victim.
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Mhmm.
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But yet, they don't do anything about it.
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Right.
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I actually had a client of mine.
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Her kid was bullied from 3rd grade to 6th grade.
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That's 3 years before she found out.
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And she only found out because the kid finally snapped.
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And when the bullies were hurting another kid, he went in and beat them to a pulp, because he
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stopped, of course.
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Right?
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Right?
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We have to learn that we can't allow the kids to stay a victim if you and and just leave them
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to that.
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That that leaves that.
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That's like tying their hands behind their back and say, just stay that way.
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You know what, Elena, that good point.
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Right?
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So here we are, you know, in the context of school, we we believe that the school are gonna
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keep our kids protected.
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At workplaces, we go out and, you know, we say, well, we accepted this job.
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So therefore, even in some kind of health and wellness companies you're seeing, and I've seen
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it in different I've been in lots of different sectors, where I've seen it happen, right?
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Marriage?
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You know, marriage?
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Absolutely.
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But then it's kinda like, you know, that, you know, it's kinda what is what is bullying and,
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you know, what is disagreement?
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Right?
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And
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Oh, they're totally different.
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Abs but again, in the general context of population, you know, you hear people talking
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about your things and you think, oh, no, no, no, no, no, that's caustic.
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That's really, really bad.
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That's unacceptable behavior.
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And I know I've been in some hospital environments in my in my career where I've seen
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people the bully being moved around
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Yeah.
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Because they didn't manage the behavior, of the bully, but that bully just got moved and then
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started to do it all over again.
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See, it's not good.
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Right.
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And a bully is a bully.
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Right.
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So what did you what did you do different?
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When you met these other 3 women, I'm curious about that.
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I did.
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I recognized I felt like I was tossed into the Twilight Zone.
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Okay?
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And it was like I was living 2 worlds, and and And the world of the bully, in this
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circumstance, I'm gonna switch that so you don't get so much light.
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The world of the bully is, you know, it it's it's like the garbage of society.
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Mhmm.
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And it is, a very horrid place where everybody is stabbing each other in the back.
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It's a it's it's the bottom beaters.
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It's the bottom beaters.
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And and when you I thought to myself, I don't wanna be there.
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I don't I don't like that life, and it really is a perception.
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If they can get you down there, you start getting paranoid, you start getting, doubting
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yourself, you know, and, and really, that was the purpose.
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And and I decided that's not where I wanna live.
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And so what I did was I took action I didn't remain the victim.
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I protected our house.
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I educated my kids.
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I, I decided very strongly to form a very strong family unit among us.
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Mhmm.
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A supportive loving one.
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I decided what did, to focus on the divorce once I got things protected.
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And if a crisis came, I would address it, but I wasn't gonna fall down into it.
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Right.
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Right.
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And I made even I even made a goal for the divorce, and that was for the betterment of
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all.
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I wanted that divorce and then the betterment of all.
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And so everything I did was to keep the relationship with their dad to to, keep my kids
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strong and let them feel supported and loved and that, their dad and I love them very much
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and that the family wasn't falling apart.
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I had to be capable and strong.
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And I was certainly wasn't gonna let the fear of these bullies affect my family.
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So I did everything I could with that.
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And, It worked.
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It worked.
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So you you so you know what's interesting.
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Right?
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Like, I'm listening to your story.
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So, really, what you're what you're talking about is resilience.
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Because what we know around depression is that when people get into a tough time, they they
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they move away.
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They disconnect You know, they, you know, they kinda literally do this, but really what you're
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talking about is you're talking about coming towards, which is proven, proven in research
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over and over again, you know, even if we feel horrible that if we surround ourselves with
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people, even though we, we may be going through things kind of ropes, if we surround ourselves
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with people that care for us and that are positive, we get through it versus if we
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isolate and kind of get into our heads, really what happens.
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I, I think I'm a bad person.
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I must have done some And then before you know it, what they say about the brain is that it
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has stickiness because it could find, oh, I remember the time it happened here, and then it
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happened here.
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Yeah.
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And
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then before, you know, I haven't left You know, I haven't gotten out of my pajamas.
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I haven't left, you know, I haven't left the the the, you know, the bedrooms for very long,
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and I'm wondering what happened.
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Well, I just lost and a half hours.
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But what you're explaining is that you did the opposite, which is, which is opening up coming
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towards, which is fascinating that you could do that because, I mean, going through I've been
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through a divorce, like you, it's, you know, it's it's tough, and you have children too on
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top of that.
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So it's not like you were just dealing with one thing without the other.
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You were dealing with both.
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Right?
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I was dealing with both.
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And, you know, it's look, it took, you know, doing the gratefulness.
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It's taking, getting your sites higher, knowing where you want to be.
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What was that what was that vision?
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Give me give me the aerial view of what you, like I mean, how many kids do you have, Elena?
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3 boys.
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I had
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3 boys.
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Yeah.
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3 boys.
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And And how old were they at the time?
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Stevie was 9 when we started.
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And then, James was 7, and Danny was 5.
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Wow.
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Goodness.
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So I had 1, and I can tell you that it took everything out of me to be able to kind keep it
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all together, you know, just to make sure that everything was okay with 3.
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You were multitasking and some.
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I made it, I set priorities.
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And and like I said, I wanted my kids to feel that we the, you know, you know, the rugs being
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pulled out from under them on a normal divorce.
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Yet along with their mom being bullied all the time, and they suffer from it too.
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Of course.
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With that, you you the that can shake up their world.
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So my whole thing was to show them that we were strong united And so I would do little things.
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You know, like, when they went to school and I knew they had a test, I would put little notes
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and cookies in their backpack saying, you know, you go for it.
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Lots or and then probably you'd have pizza night and then movies and build a little cabin.
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You know what I mean?
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Mhmm.
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I had lots of tents all over my house because I had a boy.
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So I could imagine your floors.
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You probably didn't see it for years.
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Yeah.
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I said, our house, it was like, okay.
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There's okay.
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Is there a room around here I can use that there's not every cushion and every Hello.
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That's propped away boys, right, with building.
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But, you know, it's it's fascinating that you'd say that.
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And what I also did is I did something, that I, I think I learned from my parents when I was
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young is I threw myself a big birthday party every year.
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Oh, cool.
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And I also did the scene for my son.
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Every single year to maintain tradition and invited everybody that was, you know, important
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in our lives, around the roughest years, the 1st couple of years.
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And, you know, now I think back, right?
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Even when I was going through it, I was surrounded by people that loved me and loved my
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son.
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And now I look back and I think, oh, where year was this?
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Right?
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Like, I mean, there were good times, but it kinda almost it it gives you that little bit of
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a bridge to get through it.
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Right.
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Because you're getting around people.
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You're laughing.
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You're joking.
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You know, even though you may not be feeling it on the inside all the time, but at least it
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was, like, you're maintaining consistency.
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So that sounds like you did those little things for your boys also.
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Oh, constantly.
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I left out my help.
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In the decision making of our new family.
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Yeah.
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And I then me, I I decided, how was I what was I thought about it.
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I thought, how do I wanna end up?
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Mhmm.
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And who do I wanna be at the end of this divorce?
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And people should do it with every circumstance.
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Who do you want to be through the transition and where you wanna go?
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And and you've got to strive for that.
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And if you wanna be a fearful person, then you'll be a fearful person.
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If you wanna be a person who, is is feeling good and and accomplished and strong and
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starting on some adventure, then that's the person you're gonna be.
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Right.
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But you
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want to concentrate on it and you have to start walking it.
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It's just like going for your goal.
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It's the same thing, except you've got this chaos on the side.
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But if you protect yourself from that first, then or from any circumstance, you know, you
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have to look at your circumstance.
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You have to look at what you're dealing with first.
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Now when did you write your book?
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When you separated, or did you write your books before you separated?
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I actually, I was journaling.
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That was one of my outlets
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journaling.
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Okay.
18:08
Okay.
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And then I actually launched the book.
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The first book was, right before, right before, I was finished before.
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And then the second one was, about a year and a half later.
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Oh, okay.
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K.
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Because I wrote mine, within the 1st year of separating also.
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Okay.
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You know, so It's therapeutic.
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Yeah.
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Absolutely.
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I just, you know, and I just wrote about what I knew, which was I analyzed my own life, because
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I thought, you know, a lot of people might see you or I on stage, right, and they they
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perceive that, you know, she's never been through anything.
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I'm the one that is so upset.
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I'm the one that worry about my bills and and, you know, you we've all been I know I've been
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there.
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I can't speak for you.
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You're thinking, how am I gonna do this?
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I have no vision now.
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You know?
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And, and so I what I did decide is that I thought, you know, I'm gonna what do I know?
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I know people.
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I know relationships.
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I've seen it from you know, from all the way from frontline, all the way up.
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And I thought, well, and I know I'm going through this major upheaval.
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So I'm gonna analyze my own life from birth to, middle age, and that's what I did.
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You know, so, and it's it really allowed me to, to show people We all go through stuff.
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It's what you do with what what what you have kind of thing.
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We all everyone goes through things.
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And it and it it's kind of I always say that's kind of the ego, because the ego is usually
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three things.
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Defense, which that's what that is.
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Oh, she can't possibly understand what I'm going
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Right.
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Right.
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It depends.
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It's attack and it's judgment.
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Mhmm.
19:42
Mhmm.
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And so if you understand that, then you'll understand what area you're coming from.
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But if you admit that, you know, no one who is up there speaking has had a flowery life.
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Mhmm.
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And the time that people ask why, why isn't there something better?
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Why is this happening?
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Why am I here where I am?
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The it takes something to jolt them.
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If everything's nice and happily going along, somebody asks any questions.
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It's like,
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though, the floor fall falls out from under us.
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That's when we ask the questions.
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And that's where your your biggest growth happens.
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That's the thing.
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Right?
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Like, I mean, because I was myself, I my son was 8.
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And then he had just turned 9.
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And prior to that, my life was go go go go go.
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I was traveling.
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I was consulting, you know, and all that stuff.
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And, and then things were progressively getting worse, but it's like anything else.
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You think, okay, well, I'm just gonna, you know, figure it out here, and hopefully it'll
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translate over here, and then I was kinda realizing, oh, geez, I'm com I'm
20:48
overcompensating here, but this is really kinda falling apart.
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And when I stop was when I got a severance package, I stopped.
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And then I went, woah.
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Okay.
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This is really a lot worse than I thought here.
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Yeah.
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And then, you know, the university data that I had to deal with was right there, at that
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point.
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And then like yourself, it's it's unraveled, and then I ended up.
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You know, I walked away.
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No job.
21:16
Oh, wow.
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And I and I thought, people some might, you know, people have said to me, shouldn't you
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have waited?
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I said, well, that might have been the logical thing to do.
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I said, but at the time that I did it, it it felt like, okay, like you said, my soul had
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been dehydrated for so long that it said no more.
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Right?
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And then, you know, and then you just you figure it out as you go.
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So for any for anybody listening, right, and they're, you know, and then They're probably
21:46
down maybe, and they're, you know, maybe have been gone through other things that maybe we
21:52
haven't even talked about.
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And, and it's tough for them.
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What what words would you give to somebody like that that may be listening to us and saying,
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you know, I I don't even know how to kinda, like, get out of bed and brush my teeth and,
22:03
you know, brush my hair kind of thing.
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What kind of things, what kind of guidance would you give them, Amina?
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Yeah.
22:09
If if someone is well, if they're really, really depressed, they need to call a
22:14
therapist.
22:15
Right.
22:17
But, you know, if you're sitting in that bed and you're just thinking, why even try?
22:22
Mhmm.
22:23
You have to find the why.
22:24
For me, it was my kids.
22:26
Mhmm.
22:27
And for me, it was also I didn't want to be in that garbage y awful world.
22:34
Mhmm.
22:35
Simple as that.
22:36
And you
22:36
have to think to yourself, do I wanna just stay in this position?
22:41
Do I wanna stay where I don't wanna get out of bed?
22:45
Mhmm.
22:46
Do do do I have to stay?
22:48
And I'm here to tell you right here right now, No.
22:53
You do not have to stay where it makes you miserable.
22:58
Mhmm.
22:59
And I know you're putting up that cynical side saying she doesn't understand.
23:03
All my dears, if you only knew, I so understand.
23:07
Mhmm.
23:07
And I'll tell you what, it's starting to make that decision.
23:12
When I decided to become happy, I had two times when the worked.
23:16
And I'll tell you the two times.
23:18
One time when I decided I wanted to be happy again, and I found myself on a country road,
23:23
because I drive.
23:24
If I'm bothered, I drive.
23:25
I love the motion and the thinking.
23:27
To me, that's a perfect combination.
23:29
Wow.
23:29
So
23:30
I'm driving, and I'm thinking, and it just it's heaven.
23:33
And I found myself on this country road, and I pulled aside.
23:37
And I just thought, I yelled up at the universe.
23:39
I said, I wanna be happy again.
23:41
I wanna be happy.
23:42
I want my happy life back, and I want it back now.
23:45
And I swear the universe hears you.
23:47
God hears you.
23:49
Mhmm.
23:50
And the next day, I saw this little pamphlet book that said, how to have a happy life?
23:54
I'm not kidding.
23:56
And and a mentor started filling my life.
23:59
And I'll tell you when the universe starts applying it, don't go hiding back in your bed.
24:05
You've gotta step into it.
24:06
And you and you've had amazing from mentor.
24:10
I mean, I know I know, Bob Proctor, That's all I know.
24:15
And then I was hearing all the other people that you've been I was like, wow.
24:18
Like so how did you come how did you get aligned?
24:21
I mean, it's one thing to, you know, were you involved with them before or when you made the
24:27
shift?
24:27
Up on my feet.
24:29
I'll tell you when you want a teacher, they appear.
24:32
If you're watching this and you need something, voila, folks,
24:36
you
24:36
have to comment.
24:37
Mhmm.
24:38
And the other time I had something was, one time I I only had $200 on myself.
24:45
That's it.
24:46
And I remember I was walking down the street, and there was this homeless lady And, she I
24:53
gave her 20 bucks of my $200.
24:56
And that's I thought to then I had this flash.
24:59
I'm only a step away from her.
25:02
Step away from her.
25:03
Yeah.
25:04
And I made a decision immediately.
25:07
No.
25:08
I'm not going there.
25:09
Mhmm.
25:09
Mhmm.
25:11
It's the decision is the key.
25:13
So if you're sitting in your bed, you have to decide.
25:18
First of all, you have to figure out why you're in your bed.
25:21
Right.
25:21
You know, sometimes we won't be able to dice itself.
25:23
We have to state where we're at.
25:25
And once we recognize it, I don't like my job.
25:28
It's my kids are too much to handle.
25:30
Alright.
25:31
Is this where I wanna stay?
25:33
No.
25:34
Alright.
25:35
Then it's gonna change.
25:37
And that's all you have to decide.
25:39
It's going to change.
25:41
And then you get yourself up, and you start your day.
25:44
And you either then start to make the change if you know how, but you also keep your eyes open.
25:51
Because once you make a decision, I swear to God, you've got a whole universe up there, and
25:56
I know that it sounds like Santa Claus, but it's not.
26:00
They've got your back.
26:02
They've got your back.
26:03
Mhmm.
26:04
Have
26:04
you got to know they've got your back.
26:07
And so when an opportunity comes in, you take it and you grow.
26:13
And then it pieces start to just come together.
26:16
You start the wheel, and then the wheel grows as it goes downhill.
26:21
But you've gotta make the decision.
26:22
Without the decision, nothing happens.
26:25
Absolutely.
26:26
And like you said, the signs start to appear.
26:29
Right?
26:29
Like, you know, I can think of something similar.
26:32
You know, they talk a lot about t tithing.
26:34
Right?
26:35
I'd always heard about tithing.
26:37
And you do that when you go to church or whatever, but, you know, I you know, how often
26:40
sometimes I make it, sometimes I don't.
26:42
And, likewise, I also, you know, when it was a pretty tough time, same kind of idea, and I saw
26:46
this lady And she was just outside of my little, you know, store out here.
26:51
And she was an older lady, and it was an odd thing.
26:53
She didn't she came over.
26:55
She was really nicely dressed.
26:57
And she walked right up to me, and she she opened her wall.
27:00
And she says, do you have some money?
27:02
And, no, this woman does not look, you know, like, she's underprivileged in any way.
27:06
She said, I was going to the church, and they were closed because I was supposed to get some
27:11
money from them because my check wasn't gonna And it just felt like an odd story.
27:16
Yeah.
27:16
I well,
27:17
I think I I like you.
27:18
I think I had, you know, probably $20 on me, and that's all I had in my wallet on that.
27:22
And I picked it out and I gave to her.
27:24
And it's sometimes those kinds of things that happen to you and you wonder, like, why?
27:27
Like, I mean, you know, it happens, and then you give And then something comes back that it
27:33
may not be the the, you know, another $20 bill, but it comes back in some other way.
27:38
Something called, you know, something happens And then you, you know, you go here and then
27:42
you meet that person, and then you realize that person, you that person, and then officer,
27:46
you're like, I'm doing this now.
27:48
You know?
27:49
It's it's where you're vibrant.
27:51
You've got well, when I gave her the money and I came to that realization and said, no.
27:55
I wasn't gonna Then my friend later that afternoon said, Hey, there's a duplex open on
28:01
my street, and it's an old historical street.
28:04
And she I said, well, how much do they want?
28:06
She said, well, they want 3000 for the 1st month and 3000 for the end.
28:10
Well, I have $200.
28:11
But did I say No.
28:13
I can't go see it.
28:15
Right.
28:15
Oh, I said, sure.
28:16
Let me go see it.
28:19
And I thought, well, at least, you know, it'll be something to get my mind on it.
28:22
So we went up there.
28:24
And I looked around at the apartment.
28:26
I thought, okay.
28:27
This needs work.
28:27
It's really cute, but it needs a heck of a lot of work.
28:30
And so I just turned to him, and I said, listen.
28:33
I'll make a deal.
28:34
I said, if you let me live here, I will redo this whole thing.
28:38
I'll tear up the rug.
28:39
I'll redo the wood floors.
28:40
I will paint it.
28:41
It will be so beautiful that you'll be able to rent it out for twofold.
28:45
I said, but if you let me live here for 2 months and pay for the materials, I'll do it.
28:49
And he accepted it.
28:50
Wow.
28:51
You don't know.
28:54
You don't know.
28:55
And the only thing that's holding you back is your cynicism.
28:59
Mhmm.
29:00
It's your oh, no.
29:01
That can't possibly happen.
29:03
Right.
29:03
Right.
29:04
Every day, there are little miracles happening all the time.
29:07
That was a miracle, folks.
29:09
Right.
29:10
Right.
29:10
Right.
29:11
And you have to you but you have to be open.
29:15
Mhmm.
29:15
You have to take the steps forward.
29:18
And So how did you start to connect to that's that level?
29:22
How did you start to connect where you were seeing, or were you always like that?
29:27
Where you started to see, look for the signs, or see the signs.
29:30
Sometimes the signs are around all of us, Elena, but sometimes you don't see it.
29:35
And then all of a sudden you think, But why didn't I see that before?
29:38
That's kind of been right there.
29:40
Yeah.
29:41
You know,
29:41
and then I look at, you know, you look at it again, you go, wow.
29:44
Yeah.
29:44
This has been around all the time.
29:46
Yeah.
29:47
They they are around all the time.
29:48
It's like that guy who sits on the roof and he said, save me save me from the flood.
29:52
And this boat comes by and he says, no.
29:54
I'm waiting for god.
29:57
You know?
29:58
So this it's just like that.
30:00
How do you see the signs?
30:01
Well, you have to raise your vibration.
30:03
You gotta get yourself out of your doldrums.
30:05
You got to get it yourself out of you.
30:07
You gotta get out of there.
30:09
And and I'm always talking about going into you, but this instance, you gotta get out of
30:13
yourself.
30:13
Because you're in the wrong you're in the critical mind and it's eating you up.
30:17
So how do you do that?
30:19
Mhmm.
30:19
Gratitude.
30:21
And the gratitude, you know, I know everyone says, oh, and you listen to music.
30:26
I'm serious.
30:27
You listen to music and you do the gratitude.
30:29
And the gratitude is not hard, but it's taking the best from your life and moving forward from
30:36
the best.
30:37
That's what you're doing with the gratitude because it gets you out of the criticalness.
30:44
And so if you get you write down 10, You get you write down 10 things that really put a
30:51
smile on your face that you were really thankful for.
30:53
Like, I wrote about my boys.
30:55
I thought about my big red dog looking my face.
30:58
I just everything.
30:59
And then I always add that I'm strong enough to do this, that I can deal.
31:03
You know, I put that in there too, so you're giving me the strength.
31:07
And then I'm always quiet for, oh, whatever, 5 minutes, 10 minutes, whatever you you feel good
31:14
about 15 minutes.
31:16
And you just allow messages to come through.
31:19
And the And
31:20
you do this first in the morning?
31:22
I do, and I do it last thing at night.
31:24
Okay.
31:24
Okay.
31:24
And then I send love to three people who are bothering me.
31:27
And what do I mean?
31:28
I send love.
31:29
I see them just totally engrossed in pink, loving light.
31:33
Mhmm.
31:34
Okay?
31:35
So with that, if you do those 3 things, you're raising your vibration and you're pulling
31:41
yourself into the best part of your life.
31:45
And it's easier once you start doing that.
31:48
And then during the day, I listened to music.
31:51
Of course, I was a music major at one time.
31:53
Did you sing, or did you play play did you sing?
31:56
I saying.
31:57
I sang opera, and I, also, then I also, fell in love with.
32:03
And I did, early music, like, palestrina and, you know, and then I also did women's choir
32:11
because I love it.
32:12
And I could teach it.
32:14
You know, I was able to teach that high voice that could float.
32:18
And so I love those 2, but, But during the day, you don't have to listen to classical.
32:24
You can turn on music.
32:26
Just let your soul come alive with the music.
32:30
And then during the day, notice 3 things that just make you go, oh.
32:35
Really?
32:36
You know, like the sky, or when somebody's really nice to you, or you find a nickel on the
32:41
ground, or just the way something strikes you as beautiful.
32:46
Mhmm.
32:46
Allow yourself.
32:48
This is starting to get yourself acquainted with the world outside of yourself, and that's
32:54
when you start seeing the signs.
32:58
But it's not something
32:59
tied up in that critical stuff that puts you right down in the vibration of that.
33:04
I mean, Roxanne, if you are listening to a country western music station, what are you
33:08
gonna hear?
33:10
I've just been left.
33:11
Somebody probably ran me over I'm gonna drink Scotch and bourbon.
33:19
Yes.
33:19
I don't wanna hear that.
33:21
I wanna hear I wanna hear a flute, so I I love the violin.
33:25
You know
33:25
on the classical music station.
33:27
Yeah.
33:27
So if you're in this world on this vibration of all that critical stuff.
33:32
Guess what you're gonna get?
33:33
Yeah.
33:34
The same thing as a country music station.
33:35
Yes.
33:36
Yes.
33:36
Of course.
33:37
Station.
33:37
No.
33:38
For those who like country music?
33:39
No.
33:39
No.
33:40
No.
33:40
There's a lot of good country, but, I mean, you know, it's it's always it's always sometimes,
33:44
you know, some kind of music.
33:45
It's always that we it's a lack in the music.
33:48
And,
33:49
there is a lot.
33:50
Right.
33:50
So a lot of times when I wanna like myself, I listen to instrumental because that way there's
33:55
no singing.
33:56
I just listen the the instruments and that,
33:58
you know,
33:59
and that, livens me up.
34:01
I listen to you too.
34:03
You too?
34:04
Okay.
34:05
Okay.
34:05
I love
34:05
you too, and I love seal.
34:07
And, I'm a I'm old that way.
34:09
Oh, yeah.
34:10
That's good.
34:11
But I do like I like that kind I like a lot of music.
34:14
But I love my classical music, of course.
34:16
But listen to music.
34:17
There's nothing better to bring you out of yourself.
34:20
Listen listen to praise worship if that really
34:24
Whatever it is.
34:25
Yeah.
34:25
And I think it's that mindset.
34:26
Right?
34:27
Like, I mean, to go to that.
34:28
And after a while, yes, we all have stressors daily.
34:32
I mean, I'm sure you I'm sure you had maybe 1 or 2 today.
34:34
I had maybe 1.
34:35
No.
34:36
I'm joking.
34:37
There's always stuff you're juggling and stuff you're getting done.
34:40
But then at the end of the day, you say, you know, what, you know, what what kind of data
34:44
that was a beautiful day here in Niagara Falls, you know, and, you know, I spent some time with
34:49
you know, all the it's a little it's little things that we do all the time.
34:52
And, you know, you could focus on what didn't go well, and there was a lot that didn't go
34:56
well today that I'm thinking, oh, goodness.
34:58
Or you could focus, like you said, that, you know, and then every it becomes your your neuro
35:02
pathways just start to get momentum.
35:04
And then before you know it, it's the brain kinda says, oh, I like to feel like that.
35:08
I wanna feel more like that.
35:09
Right.
35:10
It's the status quo.
35:11
At least it's the start.
35:12
You you gotta get your body back to the status quo.
35:15
But then, you know, another thing is when you go to bed, don't take all the crap with you.
35:23
Mhmm.
35:24
You know, don't.
35:26
I don't.
35:27
You know, take a shower and cut those cords.
35:30
Just feel like the water is washing away all that stuff.
35:34
The ex husband, the yucky boss, the kids driving you crazy.
35:41
Whatever the money, the opport you know, the the job opportunity didn't work out.
35:45
Wash it down the drain.
35:47
Get rid of it.
35:48
And then we come out You're starting a new.
35:52
Right.
35:52
Or I I go to bed sometimes to just, subliminal, music.
35:57
So I just put it on, and I just before I know it, I'm I'm out.
36:01
Yeah.
36:01
You know,
36:02
so just but I think what you're saying is a routine.
36:04
It's like anything else.
36:05
Right?
36:05
It's kinda like you know, if you you can't go run a 5 key if you can't walk around the block.
36:10
Right?
36:10
You start with little little things a bit at a time.
36:13
I remember we can't take the past with us.
36:16
Mhmm.
36:16
Or we can, but we shouldn't.
36:17
It's in the past.
36:18
You can't fix it.
36:19
Right.
36:20
Right.
36:21
In the future, who in the heck knows what's going on?
36:25
All you have is right now.
36:27
And so make the most of right now.
36:29
Don't take all the garbage with you.
36:32
So we're excited for you to come up.
36:34
So, so tell me, Tali, Ali, There's a little bit about what you're gonna what your keynote's
36:41
gonna be about.
36:42
So maybe putting you on the spot, but, yeah, just, so then they can I would hope that, you
36:48
know, people list that wanna connect with you would come and meet you in person?
36:52
I know we're giving out a, you know, a co we're sending them a copy of your book, they'll have
36:57
the ability to, you know, have a picture with you and, and, myself and Brian, those types of
37:03
things.
37:04
So what, what, what will you be focusing on, even if you can say a snippet of what, what
37:09
you're gonna be focusing?
37:11
We're gonna be talking to a lot of entrepreneurs.
37:14
Mhmm.
37:14
And so when we're talking to entrepreneurs, you know, there are so many of us that, especially
37:19
women we we second guess ourselves, we miss our opportunities, and learning how to set your
37:26
mindset to success.
37:29
I'm really going to show them how to take their their mind and learn the key components of what
37:39
they need to have success in it.
37:41
And if one of them is being authentic.
37:43
If you're not authentic in anything, you can't succeed.
37:47
Mhmm.
37:47
You know what I mean?
37:48
You have to because you have to know yourself.
37:50
You have to be yourself to be able to succeed.
37:52
It's too much work.
37:53
You spend too much putting up a facade.
37:56
Think of those successful people.
37:58
You know, Steve Jobs was himself.
38:00
Oprah's herself, you know, and like it or not, Ellen is herself.
38:05
Mhmm.
38:06
You know?
38:07
Bill Gates, you know, all his wonderful nerdiness.
38:10
He's the one of the brightest gentlemen, but he doesn't change.
38:13
He doesn't suddenly become trying to be like, Clint Eastwood.
38:16
He's Bill Gates.
38:17
Mhmm.
38:18
And so you have to be authentic.
38:20
But then how when you're authentic, how do you get yourself into that mindset of wanting the
38:28
goal, of going for it, and best of all, not backing off from it.
38:34
So that's what we're gonna be talking about.
38:36
And not having people detract you because often times when you talk about a goal that's really
38:41
big, it scares other people, and then they be their fear sets in, and then they pro try to
38:45
project it on to you.
38:46
Would you agree with that?
38:47
Yeah.
38:47
So my gosh.
38:48
Yes.
38:49
That's why you don't tell everybody in the whole damn world.
38:52
You just you just tell the people that would love you regardless of what happens with it.
38:56
Well, I'm gonna be talking about those key people that you talk to, and there are key
39:01
people.
39:02
I do not tell everybody.
39:04
You know what I mean?
39:04
I just don't.
39:05
Because it'll talk me out of it.
39:07
When I wanted to write my book, oh my gosh.
39:10
I called my boyfriend at that time.
39:12
And here, I'm all excited.
39:13
I'm finally gonna turn my journal into a book And I'm telling him, and he says, well, have
39:18
you ever done anything like that before?
39:20
No.
39:21
Well, you know, those homes.
39:26
Those aren't books.
39:27
Yeah.
39:27
It has really do you think you you can't do this?
39:29
I mean, right?
39:31
Yeah.
39:31
That's what and if you let yourself be dragged into that.
39:34
Oh my gosh.
39:35
Sure doomed.
39:37
Now another interesting thing is the savvy sisterhood.
39:40
Can you talk a little bit about that?
39:41
Because I'd like you to tell people about that.
39:44
And, you know, and then, I hope that's, you know, again, it's it sounds fascinating, but I
39:49
would love to the listeners to hear a bit about that.
39:52
Well, it's because during the toughest times, I always had fabulous women supporting me.
39:58
And I've heard so many people say how women stab them in the back nonsense.
40:03
We that and so I decided, you know what?
40:05
We are gonna grow this community of strong, beautiful women, and women who are learning,
40:12
and women who value growth.
40:14
And we're gonna have safe place where they can share and try really cool things and try new
40:20
concepts and get to know each other and actually start bonding.
40:25
And this is like no other community because this community that now is on Facebook, you go
40:28
to join savvy sister com.
40:34
When you're on the Facebook, then you put enjoying savysister.com.
40:38
Okay.
40:39
Okay.
40:39
And then you can just join.
40:41
But we're starting there, but I'm gonna move you over onto a site where you guys can start
40:46
talking to yourself, and then we're actually planning a summit.
40:50
So where you all meet in New York City.
40:54
And I'm getting very top speakers there and workshops and it's gonna be fun, it's gonna be
40:59
affordable, and you get to see all the people you've been talking to online.
41:03
But the best part about this is that you're you're not only getting stronger.
41:08
You're learning how to get strong from the special side of you because I'm teaching you in
41:12
this free program, basically.
41:15
It's free, by the way.
41:17
And then you're also starting to see that you're not afraid of your voice.
41:24
Mhmm.
41:25
You know, so often women will stand back, even though we have the answer, we second guess
41:30
ourselves, and every man in the world who doesn't have the answer will be raising his
41:35
hand.
41:35
Do you know what
41:36
I mean?
41:36
Yes.
41:37
I've been I've been there.
41:38
I've seen it.
41:41
Or or we will we will miss our opportunity because we're we're we're thinking, oh, but
41:45
what if what if what if what if what if we we we're scared of our voice.
41:49
And we give our self away all the time.
41:52
And so in this, we're not gonna do that anymore.
41:56
So it kinda sounds like what I was telling you about that I did with my girlfriends for years.
42:00
Right?
42:00
You know, we would get together and, you know, we would have wine and chocolate and hors
42:04
d'oeuvres.
42:05
And I don't know what we talked about.
42:06
Right?
42:06
But, you know, and then everybody has gone through stuff, right?
42:10
And it was just like, I go, you know, it's just that that comfort that we gave each, and we
42:14
laughed, and we told jokes, we ate, and, you know, those types of things.
42:18
So it's, like, taking that to a to a different level is is what it sounds like, which sounds
42:23
amazing.
42:24
Oh, well, I'm gonna I'm gonna go join.
42:29
Yeah.
42:30
I can't wait to get it where we can all talk.
42:32
I'm doing I'm gonna slowly get them over there.
42:35
Right.
42:36
And New York City, what a place to meet.
42:37
My goodness.
42:38
Everybody loves to go to New York.
42:40
So Island.
42:41
I have a place picked out and everything.
42:43
I have a
42:43
Awesome.
42:44
Awesome.
42:44
So I will go and join, and then I will check out the sisterhood, and then we'll we'll figure
42:49
it out from there.
42:50
So, Alena, this has been fantastic.
42:52
I can't I mean, I I know we've not met in person and, you know, I, I look forward to
42:56
meeting you.
42:56
I feel like I know you just from the time that we've spent together.
43:00
And from the special people that have introduced us, and the people that you're so
43:04
you're surrounded by the people from the secret.
43:06
You realize that?
43:07
Yeah.
43:07
I know that.
43:08
And I'm like, wow, how did this happen?
43:10
I'm now surrounded by the people that are surrounded by the people at this time.
43:14
So I'm like, okay, this is interesting.
43:16
You know, I'm just watching it for what it is.
43:18
And, you know, and I know Bob Proctor is a dear friend of yours and stuff like that.
43:23
So it's, it's, it's just amazing to even, you know, to, to meet the people that are in those
43:27
circles.
43:28
And I hope that, people listening will come out and enjoy that, you know, the, the, the space
43:33
that, you're in and, the space that the others like Brian and, Dave Phillips Center in from
43:40
CEO space and myself.
43:41
So it'll be a, in a great afternoon and, you know, a Friday afternoon, so in the summer.
43:46
So it's nice to get away from the office a little bit early, come and learn some things
43:50
that you can apply to yourselves and to to your jobs.
43:53
So again, Elena, thanks so much for being here.
43:56
And, we will meet you in 4 weeks in person.
43:59
And so for my listeners, please sign up.
44:03
You know, there, there will be a link at the bottom.
44:06
It will tell you exactly a little bit more about
44:09
all the speakers.
44:10
It's going to be in Mississauga, which is obviously, about 15 minutes from Toronto.
44:16
So we look forward to having you the event of connection agreement in 2018 on June 22nd.
44:23
So take care.
44:24
And again, like Elena says, don't take
44:26
the garbage with you.
44:26
There's no room.
44:28
Created created something new and special, look around you and sometimes the smallest things
44:33
that are around you are really, the messages that, could make you build new, perspective
44:40
into creating that, that ultimate soulful life that you want.
44:44
So take care, from authentic a little cross down, and we will chat.