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The Best Way to Stop Being a Perfectionist · The Daily Writer

• 0:23
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to this episode of The Daily Rider.
• 0:25
  SPEAKER_00: As I mentioned yesterday in my podcast intro, I am foregoing the usual weekend intro to the podcast, and I'm just going to dive right in.
• 0:32
  SPEAKER_00: So this weekend, I'm doing a couple of shorter episodes that can help you with some practical aspects of writing.
• 0:38
  SPEAKER_00: On today's episode, I want to dive into the topic of perfectionism for just a couple of moments.
• 0:42
  SPEAKER_00: And this is an area where so many writers struggle.
• 0:46
  SPEAKER_00: We have this ideal of what we should be writing or the kind of success we should be having.
• 0:50
  SPEAKER_00: And then we get stuck because it just seems really unattainable.
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_00: Honestly, I used to struggle with this a lot more.
• 0:57
  SPEAKER_00: When I started doing a daily podcast and when I started doing more client work, this tendency went away quite a bit because I had to create on demand.
• 1:06
  SPEAKER_00: And when you have a daily podcast, and whenever you're doing a lot of client work, there's not time to sit around and analyze your writing to death.
• 1:13
  SPEAKER_00: I did do that with my last book, but I really wasn't doing much more writing at that time.
• 1:19
  SPEAKER_00: Now I'm way busier than I was back then, a few years ago.
• 1:22
  SPEAKER_00: And I just don't have time to sit down and analyze everything to death.
• 1:26
  SPEAKER_00: I have to basically get my writing in shape, you know, spell check it, grammar check, and all those things, and get it out the door and move on to the next thing.
• 1:34
  SPEAKER_00: Now, when I'm when I'm doing client work or when I'm working on stuff for a book or for a product that people are going to buy, obviously I'm going to hire editors.
• 1:42
  SPEAKER_00: I'm going to take those extra steps to make sure it's as good as it possibly can be.
• 1:47
  SPEAKER_00: But for the most part, I've moved on from that impulse, especially with things like a podcast, which is a daily show, and social media and things like that, where I just have to kind of create it, check it, and then move on to the next thing.
• 1:59
  SPEAKER_00: So let me share the most helpful way that I have started to beat perfectionism in my own life.
• 2:05
  SPEAKER_00: And honestly, this is the number one thing that helps me with this.
• 2:08
  SPEAKER_00: What I did is I started making it my goal to produce B-level work in everything that I did.
• 2:13
  SPEAKER_00: And I think it was the author Sean McCabe who I once heard say, your 90% is everyone else's 100%.
• 2:21
  SPEAKER_00: And I think there's a lot of wisdom in that approach because if you're a perfectionist, your standards are so high that almost nobody can achieve them.
• 2:28
  SPEAKER_00: So if you shoot just for 90%, everybody else will perceive that as 100%.
• 2:34
  SPEAKER_00: Now, this concept was immensely helpful to me.
• 2:37
  SPEAKER_00: So I translated it into a grading metaphor of like A's and B's since I was a college prof for a long time.
• 2:44
  SPEAKER_00: But you might ask, how does this apply in real life?
• 2:47
  SPEAKER_00: You know, what does it actually mean to do B level work instead of A-level work?
• 2:51
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I think that it just means that you get your work to the level that is a solid B plus in terms of how you perceive your work.
• 2:59
  SPEAKER_00: But what does that mean specifically?
• 3:01
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I think it depends on your perception of what a B plus is.
• 3:04
  SPEAKER_00: It depends on the type of work you're doing and some other things.
• 3:07
  SPEAKER_00: For example, if you're a heart surgeon, a B plus is not going to cut it because you've got to be perfect.
• 3:12
  SPEAKER_00: You know, or if you're doing brain surgery or if you're doing car mechanics, there's a certain level at which you need to work.
• 3:20
  SPEAKER_00: It's got to be done perfectly so that the system functions and people don't get into a car accident or, you know, people don't die or or or something.
• 3:28
  SPEAKER_00: So just a couple weeks ago, we had to have the brake line in my son's car uh repaired.
• 3:34
  SPEAKER_00: There was about three feet of it that had to be replaced because it had had snapped or broken.
• 3:38
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, I forget what the mechanic said, but it had to be replaced.
• 3:41
  SPEAKER_00: And I wouldn't want them to do that at a B plus level work.
• 3:44
  SPEAKER_00: I want it, I wanted that to be like a straight A.
• 3:46
  SPEAKER_00: I want it to be done exactly correct.
• 3:48
  SPEAKER_00: Because if the brake line is not fixed to an A plus level, then that endangers his life, which I don't obviously want.
• 3:55
  SPEAKER_00: But writing is not really the same thing.
• 3:57
  SPEAKER_00: You know, people's lives are not depending on our writing.
• 4:00
  SPEAKER_00: And and there is a judgment level as to what is A level and what is B level and so forth.
• 4:05
  SPEAKER_00: And the problem is the problem with really with any type of creative work is that it's so subjective.
• 4:11
  SPEAKER_00: It is so incredibly subjective.
• 4:13
  SPEAKER_00: What one person perceives as a great book and that they loved, other other people will say, eh, that book wasn't so good.
• 4:19
  SPEAKER_00: In fact, just last night, so I'm recording this on Saturday, September the 18th.
• 4:25
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, this will come out in a week or two.
• 4:28
  SPEAKER_00: As I'm recording this, uh, I'm thinking of last night.
• 4:31
  SPEAKER_00: So my son and I, we watched, we were trying to figure out what to watch together.
• 4:34
  SPEAKER_00: We watch movies a lot.
• 4:36
  SPEAKER_00: And so I I said, hey, let's let's uh watch like the first 15 minutes of a couple of movies and let's see if you like these.
• 4:43
  SPEAKER_00: So we watched uh the beginning of like the first 10 minutes of uh the 2009 movie Star Trek, the reboot, and the first like 15 minutes of The Dark Night from 2008.
• 4:55
  SPEAKER_00: Both movies that I absolutely love and that I think are phenomenal.
• 4:58
  SPEAKER_00: But my son didn't really like either one of those.
• 5:01
  SPEAKER_00: It just kind of wasn't his bag, it wasn't his style of movie.
• 5:04
  SPEAKER_00: And it's it's so interesting with creative things because people have different opinions, and really nobody's opinion is right or wrong.
• 5:11
  SPEAKER_00: It's just people like what they like and they don't like what they don't like.
• 5:14
  SPEAKER_00: And it's that way with writing.
• 5:16
  SPEAKER_00: So we have to understand that what we perceive as A or B level work, our client may not perceive the same way, or our readers may not perceive the same way.
• 5:25
  SPEAKER_00: So I think that's an important perspective to keep in mind as we're talking about what is B-level work and what is A-level work.
• 5:33
  SPEAKER_00: The way that I like to try and apply this to my writing is that whenever I create material for my book or my podcast, I get it to a level where I think, yeah, that's pretty good and it's gonna help somebody.
• 5:45
  SPEAKER_00: For example, as I'm recording this, I'm not saying everything maybe like the exact way I would say it if I recorded it 10 times.
• 5:53
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, I'm not in a studio right now creating an audiobook.
• 5:56
  SPEAKER_00: I'm in my home office.
• 5:57
  SPEAKER_00: I just gotta get this podcast done because I've got other stuff to do today.
• 6:00
  SPEAKER_00: I'm doing it basically at a B level.
• 6:03
  SPEAKER_00: If I really mess up something, I'll edit it out.
• 6:05
  SPEAKER_00: But otherwise, this is just kind of like me and you talking.
• 6:08
  SPEAKER_00: You know, we're friends.
• 6:09
  SPEAKER_00: And I think if you listen to a podcast episode of mine and it feels overly produced or overly scripted, that's that kind of takes the humanity out of it.
• 6:18
  SPEAKER_00: It takes the life out of it.
• 6:20
  SPEAKER_00: So we have to ask the question what is serving readers the best?
• 6:24
  SPEAKER_00: What is making the most difference?
• 6:26
  SPEAKER_00: And it really comes down to this, I think.
• 6:28
  SPEAKER_00: Perfectionism is not about the reader that you're serving, it's about you.
• 6:33
  SPEAKER_00: If you are obsessed about being perfect, that's really that means your your art and your writing is all about you.
• 6:39
  SPEAKER_00: It's not about your reader.
• 6:40
  SPEAKER_00: Because what serves the reader the best and or the listener the best is not necessarily getting everything perfect.
• 6:46
  SPEAKER_00: It's the heart and soul of what you're doing.
• 6:49
  SPEAKER_00: And yes, we've got to, we've got to edit, we've got to spell things correctly, we have to make sure the flow is correct, we've got to try and use good headlines and subject lines and book titles and all that stuff if we possibly can.
• 7:01
  SPEAKER_00: But there does come a point at which you just got to get that sucker out the door and move on to the next thing.
• 7:05
  SPEAKER_00: So the key here is to focus on the reader and the people that you're trying to help.
• 7:11
  SPEAKER_00: Get your work to a B plus level, if you can, and then ship it and then move on to the next thing.
• 7:16
  SPEAKER_00: And by the way, this is also the value of bringing in other people into the process, people like editors, beta readers, friends who can read your work and give you feedback on it.
• 7:25
  SPEAKER_00: That is the value of all those things because I just operate on the assumption that I'm not objective, that there's no way that I can look objectively at my own writing and my own creative work.
• 7:36
  SPEAKER_00: It's just not possible.
• 7:38
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, I don't think musicians can do that either.
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_00: This is why musicians have record producers.
• 7:43
  SPEAKER_00: This is why they have other people who come in to help them write songs and play instruments and and they're part of the creative process because you are not objective about your own stuff.
• 7:53
  SPEAKER_00: I guarantee it.
• 7:54
  SPEAKER_00: It takes some humility for us to admit that.
• 7:57
  SPEAKER_00: But I think once you get that in your head, that there's no way possible for you to be objective about your own creative work, life just gets so much easier because it takes away this impulse that we have to be perfect.
• 8:09
  SPEAKER_00: Because when you realize you're not objective about it and that your your perspective is skewed, it's not objective.
• 8:15
  SPEAKER_00: Then you realize, well, I'm trying to be perfect, but my my perspective is not really always accurate.
• 8:21
  SPEAKER_00: So there's no use in being perfect anyway, because what does that even mean?
• 8:25
  SPEAKER_00: You know?
• 8:26
  SPEAKER_00: So again, we go back to this idea of shoot for B or B plus level work if you possibly can, then ship that sucker, move on to the next thing.
• 8:35
  SPEAKER_00: And I think if you take that approach, that really helps eliminate a lot of perfectionism in your writing so that you can get some peace, so you can relax, and you can can get a lot more creative work done.
• 8:46
  SPEAKER_00: All right, hope this is helpful.
• 8:48
  SPEAKER_00: I'll see you in the next episode.
• 8:50
  SPEAKER_00: Thanks so much for listening to today's episode.
• 8:52
  SPEAKER_00: If you've been listening to this show for any length of time, you know that one of the four practices of a great writer is creativity.
• 8:59
  SPEAKER_00: And in order to stay creative, you've got to have great input.
• 9:03
  SPEAKER_00: And that's where writing prompts come in.
• 9:05
  SPEAKER_00: A writing prompt is a sentence or two that helps you break through creative blocks, brainstorm new ideas, and get back into a state of flow.
• 9:13
  SPEAKER_00: Writing prompts are an awesome creative tool for journaling, storytelling, creative writing, stress relief, social media posts, and so much more.
• 9:22
  SPEAKER_00: But the great news is that you don't have to create these yourself.
• 9:25
  SPEAKER_00: We've put together an amazing package of 365 daily writing prompts.
• 9:30
  SPEAKER_00: So every day for the next year, you can have a shot of inspiration delivered straight to your inbox.
• 9:36
  SPEAKER_00: You can check it out at dailywriterlife.comslash writing prompts.
• 9:41
  SPEAKER_00: Thanks, and I'll see you tomorrow.