Latest / From 9 to Mom / what we really want for mother's day

Transcript

what we really want for mother's day · From 9 to Mom

• Catie Fitzgerald: Welcome back to From 9 to Mom. Danielle: where we discuss balancing the nine to five hustle with the beautiful chaos that we call motherhood. Catie Fitzgerald: And this week we have to talk about our day, Mother's Day. Danielle: It's happening, whether we want it to or not, it's here. Do it now. Catie Fitzgerald: whether anyone wants it to happen. keep seeing memes of people calling this May-Sember because it's like sports, Mother's Day, Memorial Day, last days of school for some people. There's just so many things happening in one month. Danielle: No, this is maycember. It feels like a marathon at this point. But like I also have to sprint the entire marathon and I love mother I love holidays as we know but mother's day is one of those ones where you want to make sure that your mom feels extra special but also I want to feel extra special and I just feel like we're moving too fast right now to slow down and make that happen. Catie Fitzgerald: It is. So I think the first thing we need to dive into is that because we have mothers, our husbands have mothers, there's grandmothers, every of mom, right? ⁓ But it's ⁓ our like, a mother, so I get to celebrate, right? Danielle: Mm-hmm. Yes. Yes, and my mom always talked about this because she was, and I think you and I are also, this in our families, we're usually like the default host, right? We make sure that the things happen and our siblings help, don't get me wrong, but we are coordinators. That's what we do. And my mom always said, Mother's Day to me, not that she didn't appreciate it, but she was always coordinating for... Catie Fitzgerald: Yeah. Danielle: her mom and my dad's mom and she was always hosting on a day that was really meant for her. I like there's expectations that go into all that, but at the end of the day, the last thing I, I love hosting, but the last thing I want to do on Mother's Day is host. Catie Fitzgerald: Yeah, feel like I was just talking to my sister about this because she's doing like a part like a get together and she's like it turned into like a small thing to a huge thing and she's like now I have to worry about all these things and I didn't want to have to worry about that. I just wanted to have the small get together or whatever. And it's really hard. feel like for us, it's always so hard because of the traveling. Danielle: Yeah. Catie Fitzgerald: and trying to figure that, like, where we want to go, many places and doing that, like, I have to decide, like, do I want to sit in a car all day? Do I want to, like, somewhere where I have to be on? For me, it's like, I don't want to be on. I want to just, like, be able to lounge, look at my phone if I want, play with the kids if I want, like, and not worry about, like, having to socialize. Danielle: Yeah. where I can't decide what I want. Like sometimes I feel like I want this extravagant day where I'm dressed up and I'm out. And then other moments I feel like all I really want is to shower alone be able to like have 25 minutes where I can lay in bed uninterrupted. Catie Fitzgerald: Yeah, I feel like I've been seeing, I think a lot of people relate to that as far as like, you want to be at brunch? Do you want to lay in bed? Like if you lay in bed and get like a coffee in bed, then it's like nine o'clock and brunch starts at ⁓ and you're rushing to get everyone ready. Like it's just, you have it all, I suppose, on Mother's Day, but I don't even know how to describe ⁓ the ideal Danielle: Yep. Yeah, I well let's try and think about let's think of the things that people have told us they want to do that we would want and also the reality of the fact that we just said it earlier without saying it Catie Fitzgerald: Yeah. Danielle: There's mom guilt associated with Mother's Day. How is that even possible? How is it even possible that we have guilt? Because if we lay in bed for too long and we're not with our kids, we feel bad that we didn't spend time with them. If we go out with our friends, we feel bad that we didn't spend time with our moms. It just doesn't, it doesn't stop. Catie Fitzgerald: Ugh. Yeah. And then it's hard because it's like, I'm trying to think of this on the counter day of like on Father's Day. Like, I want to see my dad, but it's Ryan's day, you know, and like, he's not my dad, but like, he's the dad right now. You know, like, it's hard to figure out. I definitely have seen a quote that was basically like, these holidays are for the moms and dads in it. Like, if you're in it, it's it's your holiday. Danielle: Yes. you Catie Fitzgerald: And if you're not in it, like it's your holiday, like you don't have the kids at home. Yeah. Like you're supposed to, I don't, I don't know. Maybe we'll feel different as the kids get older and want to go hang out with their boyfriend or girlfriend's parents on those days instead of us. Right. Danielle: You show up for the day. I know that like heartbroken at that moment in time. I think it's easy for Father's Day. And I hate to say this because men like tend to want similar things, right? Like my entire family, they want to golf. Exactly. They want golf. They want alone time. They want to watch golf. And then they want red panty night. Like that's all they care about. Catie Fitzgerald: They just want to go golf. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Danielle: for Father's Day. Like there's it's not even about being a father just this is what I want on my day, where we have all these different typical right ideas, thoughts, visions, things that we want. And I just, I want Jordan to know that this year I'm a size VIP ticket to a Stray Kids concert like that's just a reminder. Catie Fitzgerald: Yes. Yeah. Listen, I'm not like the gift. Like we don't usually do gifts in this like we do for the kids. But like for me and Ryan, we don't coordinate gifts. Usually the gift is going to buy whatever you want or that. I'm usually not. I don't like receiving gifts like I want to pick out my own thing. So like cash is good. But anything else is like ⁓ it's OK. But I really want I've been influenced that I want. that Yeti Camino bag. Do know what I'm talking about? Okay, I feel like a lot of people don't. I'm gonna pull it up quick. It's, I think it's like the ultimate like soccer mom bag, if you know what I mean. ⁓ Yeah, it's posted, it's on our Amazon list, but it's like. Danielle: I would know what is it. Yeah, and you're in that era, you're embracing that soccer mom life right now. Catie Fitzgerald: .bag. Danielle: ⁓ cute. It's like a bog bag yeti cooler thing. Catie Fitzgerald: If you're watching, can see that I'm holding my phone up. ⁓ So I did. we went to Dick's Sporting Goods the other day, ⁓ took the kids over there and took a picture of me with the one that I want, but they're $150. I ⁓ know, I would never like, ⁓ I buy that. ⁓ Danielle: Okay, so that's like what you really want. Did you ask for it? It's Mother's Day, it's fine. Okay, think about it this way. A round of golf at a really nice place is $100 to $150, so it's a round of golf for Mother's Day. That's true. Catie Fitzgerald: Not in Rochester, but yeah, yeah, it's true. So I don't know. I that was the only thing that I kind of asked for. like I just want a yummy coffee, not homemade. want it from somewhere, not Starbucks. Like I want like a specialty, you know. Yeah, yeah. And then like I like the homemade gifts. I like a good card, you know. Danielle: You want a local specialty coffee brought to your bed? Yeah, I definitely love presents, but I don't need them to be extravagant. Like I want it to be thoughtful and the presents over the course of the years have been really interesting. So one year and I love it. It's still in my office now, but Jordan, when Daisy was like a baby had the kids use their butts to make a painting of like so on trend for my household. So I have this like painting of their hand prints and then a heart, but the heart is their butt prints, which I think is hilarious. Catie Fitzgerald: Love that. Danielle: And then one year I came home, we did as girls go out for like brunch, we came back and the kids were all dressed as waiters and the dads had all made this like gourmet dinner and taught the kids to say like, would you like red or white and they served us and then my littlest brother who's now married, but this was two years ago. So not that long ago. He like entertained us during dinner. It was like the best, like those kinds of things are just really fun. Catie Fitzgerald: The memory. The memories. Yeah. Danielle: Memories right like I want and I think this someone said this to me today this morning. They're like I just want to be acknowledged I just want to be seen I want someone to take the time for me not to have to make the decision I don't want to be asked. What do you want? For Mother's Day What do you want to do? But don't get it wrong yet Like oh, that's so terrible right like don't ask me but don't get it wrong, bro Catie Fitzgerald: But don't be wrong. But don't be wrong. That's my favorite. It is. Yeah, like there's a very fine line of like make the decisions, but like I'm going to probably not like what you decide. Maybe that's just me. Maybe that's just me. Danielle: if you don't give me exactly what I that's why you're giving hints like we give hints all the time, right? Like, I like experiences and I know I'm not getting this but the PGA is here and or the it's not enough to PGA but it's the truest copper whatever. And every year Jordan usually goes one year it was a big scandal because it was on Mother's Day weekend. That's the year he went way all out. But the I wanted to go to that. Catie Fitzgerald: Yeah. I remember that. I remember that. Danielle: But I think he forgot. So like if I don't remind him like in the he's really trying he always gets like my ferns for the front porch but like he forgot it would have been a very easy gift. Take me out. Catie Fitzgerald: Yeah, like a little day date and then just hard to like, it's for them. know, I'm giving them the benefit of the doubt. I know that I'm hard to please. Like I know that if, like I'm not joking if it's not the way I want it or the thing I wanted to do, I'll be like, no, we're gonna do it my way. Danielle: Yeah, I definitely think that I am less like that. Like I don't need it to be my way, but I do have large expectations. So sometimes like I overhype myself up for these moments or these things. And then I get too excited or I just have really low expectations so that I don't get disappointed. Like it's one of the two, right? Like I'm going into this one. I'm not a brand new mom. Like my girlfriend has a newborn right now and she's going through it I'm like, she needs extra love. Like she just needs that. And I think that like, For us, we're on the little bit of the other side of like the newborn phase. I want Jordan to teach my kids how to like treat women and treat their mom. You know, like I want them to spoil me, but not like in a big way. It would be nice if I got, like you said, a nice coffee or breakfast in bed. And maybe it's my favorite breakfast. We remember gluten free stuff. That would be awesome. Again, like I said, if I could get a shower, like a, I want to take a long ass shower. Catie Fitzgerald: in every in everything shower with the ability to blow dry. Danielle: Every day, my hair, shave my legs. Yes. A blow, actually Katie, but I don't want to go out and do it, but I blow out, be great. Catie Fitzgerald: Yes. That's a hard part, right? Like you're like, I have all these lofty ideas, but what do really want? Danielle: Yeah, like, and I think that one year I asked for hotel, like a night at the hotel with Mimi, and I wanted someone to come paint our nails. And was early on in motherhood, but that does sound like amazing. Imagine getting to pick a friend or even just yourself to go to the hotel. You put on the robe. I want a robe. Catie Fitzgerald: Which I get. Danielle: want a fresh cup of coffee or tea and ⁓ and coke. want the three food groups, like the Holy Trinity needs to be there. And I to watch whatever I want to watch with a face mask on ⁓ and sleep I want to sleep and then wake up, explore, and then spend the rest of the day with my family. I'll be so happy with that solution. Catie Fitzgerald: Yes. Yeah, would be amazing. I feel like I'd sit down, I did this yesterday. I had the time, it wasn't even like real time, but I like sat down and I'm like, I'm gonna start something. I don't even know what to watch. I'm like, by the time I research what to watch and do, ⁓ yeah, was a good try. Danielle: ⁓ I said. XLK, so cute. August 4th, all bets are off because Ted Lasso is back. So that's like what I'm looking forward to. Catie Fitzgerald: ⁓ that's your, I'm looking forward to next week off campus is on, don't even know what thing it's on, but that's a book adaptation. Danielle: ⁓ I guess I didn't read that book, but a book would be like being able to read my book without not being in the kid's bed or being like, talk to or have Blippi on in the background as I'm reading my book would be magical. So I'll bring my book to the hotel. Catie Fitzgerald: Right? Right. There you go. That's that's easy. It just goes back and forth of like, what do we what do we really want? I actually when I was searching like, ⁓ like Mother's Day gift ideas or whatever, I did see a lot of cute handmade stuff. So there's a lot of cute ideas out there. So like if you're a girl mom and you have some of this stuff already, like someone's like instead of making the friendship bracelet, like get like one of those big like Danielle: Like. Catie Fitzgerald: big safety pin things and get like a fashion scarf at Target that's like $14.99, tie it on there and have your kids like put like the beads on it and make it like a little handbag key chain. And they're like, it's under $20 and you probably already have the friendship bracelet stuff. You might even have like a hook or something that could be a key chain. So that was cute. There's like really cute ideas out there for inspo. Danielle: That's really cute. That is cute. You're making me think. Because I did see one thing that I told Jordan I wanted, but he would never, I don't think he would do it. It would be something that we do together with the kids. I don't know if you've seen like you get your gold frame and then you get the glue and you stick the kid's foot or hand in glue and you get real dried flowers. And then you take the outline of the hand and you fill it in and it's, they're really, really pretty. My mom would probably love one of those as we're speaking, I'm thinking of what. Catie Fitzgerald: Mm-hmm. Danielle: I got her like an inklet because she like, but I can't wait to give her things. So I got her an inklet for Mother's Day. already gave it to her. Like the second I saw her, I like, I got you this present. Because that's how I am. I want to give gifts in the moment. I hate when I have to like do it. I love giving gifts, but I want to be meaningful right then. And so I always spoil my gifts. And then I have to think of something else and it's never as good as the gift that I already got. Catie Fitzgerald: Give it a year. all the time. Yeah. Right. Right. Yeah, that's always always hard. But there are like I feel like the older I've gotten, it's very clear, like the people that gift giving is their love language and they love it and they're good at it. And then there's people that it's not. So you like adjust the expectation for that. ⁓ ⁓ Danielle: Yes, it's like unreal actually how clear it is like my sister-in-law Rachel is like Curated gifts everything has a theme like it's unbelievable where I'm like here is the most random assortment of things that they all made me think of you But they don't go together at all Catie Fitzgerald: That's what my friend Kate, she literally like everything that's coming up. We're like, stop doing gifts. Everyone stop doing gifts. Who shows up with a gift for you on your birthday and it's her and it's something you didn't even know that you would have wanted. And you're like, that is such a good gift idea. Like how do you even know me well enough to do it? ⁓ yeah. And use it for the next 10 people. Yes. Yes. That's the best way to do it. Yeah. Meet those. You have to keep one of them in your circle and Danielle: Yes. And then I copy them. Then I copy their ideas for other things. So thank you to those people in your life who are great. Catie Fitzgerald: Do your best to make sure they feel loved too. Danielle: Yes, like you, try, I really do try like to do theme things. And then like, I don't know, I just feel as though this holiday specifically, even above and beyond birthdays and things like that, it's just, how do you say, now that we're moms, like how do you actually say thank you to your mom? Like now that you know what they went through. Catie Fitzgerald: Well, and then it comes every year too. So it's like, do you like? It's not. It's just. ⁓ Danielle: It's never enough. It's never enough. my mom is still being my mom. She's watching Daisy for me at right as we speak so that I can do my job and live life. Like they, never stop being a mom. And I feel like I can't live up to what I think I should. And like you said, it comes every year, but the end of the day, I want to be spoiled as shit on mother's day. I do, I'm not going to lie, but it shouldn't be one day. Like we get one day. Catie Fitzgerald: I That's why like I'm really anti flowers on Mother's Day. Like I expect flowers every time that they die. Like I want fresh flowers like every single time. ⁓ it's it's a new standard. Danielle: Yeah. There's nothing better. You know what? That's something I would love to do. I used to go to the market every weekend and get fresh flowers. For the week. Catie Fitzgerald: It's so nice. I go to the fresh market called Wegmans and get the $5 bouquets and they last literally, they last so long. So I just keep them in. Yeah, I keep them as a little centerpiece on our dining room table. Yeah, it makes me feel good. Danielle: I love that fresh market. I know and they just spruce up your home. to make you feel like alive. That's like I'll get flowers for sure Catie Fitzgerald: And every now and then you'd sprinkle in a Trader Joe's bouquet and it's wild. They smell really good. Danielle: These are like ideas though, like, okay, think about things. We should be doing Mother's Day with our girlfriends. One of my friends was like, I'll host the Mahjong Mother's Day party. And I'm like, that sounds amazing with mimosas and mahjong and all that. But like a flower party where you get to make a bouquet and you bring your mom. Catie Fitzgerald: I know, so we can all shoot each other. Right? Where you go, yeah. Danielle: Actually, there's a bunch of girls in Rochester that do that with their moms every Mother's Day. They did like a sit down meal with a private chef. Yeah, Nicole, Jenna, all the guys, if you're listening, like every year I'm like, this is brilliant. Why did I not think of that for this year? Catie Fitzgerald: Yeah, Nicole. And yeah, they do it. Yeah. Shout out. Great idea. Yeah, like don't have enough friends to do something like that. It would be me, Michelle, Steph, and my mom. ⁓ know, I know. ⁓ did it. Yeah, but it's a great idea. Like, I love that. Danielle: That's plenty of friends. That's great. You did it. Your inner circle. Yeah, I think for next year or maybe like I can give the gift of that and say we're going to do it on a specific day. So like a precursor gift. Catie Fitzgerald: And then you like you go by it is kind of expensive. We did it when we did our Galentine's Day. Kate bought like went to Trader Joe's and bought the individual bouquets and then we broke them all up and we made our own for every. Yeah, ⁓ you know, that's why you need them and we did like individual ones and they came out really good, but it's like. Danielle: That's what Judy did for us at our Galentines. What angels they are. Thank God for those people. Catie Fitzgerald: not the cheapest to buy individual and then have enough for like multiple bouquets. So fair warning. Danielle: When we made the bouquets, we had all had so much to drink at that point that it was quite comical to see how everybody put everything together. Yeah, it was great. Yeah, and that's okay. So Mother's Day is a Sunday. So then if you want to have beverages on Mother's Day, like you want to have like a saucy Sunday, like Sunday, fun day like we used to have, you have to wake up on Monday, get your kids to school and go to work. That's not fair either. Catie Fitzgerald: grabbing a few, just grab whatever you got, throw it on. Some of you had all greens. Yeah. ⁓ yeah. It's not fair. It's yeah, you can only have like mimosas and then you call it. Maybe that's what they want. They, know, like give me a few mimosas and then make me nap like done. Danielle: Yeah, like. Remember a day nap after like Sunday brunch, would like bottomless mimosas by three o'clock you went to bed. That doesn't sound awful. Catie Fitzgerald: Yeah, and then, no. I'm somebody that can nap no matter what. Like if I went upstairs right now, I could've gone to sleep. Danielle: Me too, and I can fall asleep in, not at night. I can't fall asleep to save my life. But right now I can fall asleep in two seconds. Like I could fall asleep on the podcast right now recording. Catie Fitzgerald: ⁓ yeah. Yeah. We're just, we're the, is now a nap podcast. ⁓ Danielle: Yeah, we're talking. I feel like we have napped on the couch at my house at the same time. Like we like, we need a nap before we move on. Catie Fitzgerald: Probably. That's my thing. Let's just nap. Let's just take a quick nap. Yeah, I'm that I owe to my college days. I we would have three day soccer stuff and like I would just pass out in between and set an alarm. You back up and go because you just died. Danielle: Yeah. I wasn't expecting to be like, we'd have three day soccer stuff. I'd be like, yeah, I would just go out all night, then go to class all morning and take a nap and do it all over again. I did work like four jobs. So like, I'll give myself some credit. I did, I did dance, which was more like intramural sports, like broom ball too. was a broom ball champion. think we've talked about that. Catie Fitzgerald: ⁓ no. Yeah. You should, yes, it was just. The Shrip Club. Yes, yes, yes. The good old days. Well, hopefully everyone out there has some inspo for their Mother's Day. And obviously most of you that are out there that are listening are moms. So happy Mother's Day. Danielle: Yeah, happy Mother's Day. feel like we see you and we appreciate everything you put into life because we're all doing it at the same time. And if anybody truthfully has any good extravagant Mother's Day plans, we want to know like we we want inspo for the future years like somebody out there is going on an awesome vacation Sunday. Catie Fitzgerald: I know, and please enjoy it on our behalf. It's gonna be. Danielle: Yeah, who knows? Maybe we're doing that too. Maybe our families. Catie Fitzgerald: that is funny because Michelle invited us over to her house and she's like, let me know if you guys want to come. And I'm like, OK, yeah, like I'm sure every minute of my day on Sunday is already preplanned. So like, I probably can't because I have all these plans, but I like, you know. ⁓ Danielle: Yeah, I'm so busy. I would settle for like a kiddie pool at this point, like a kiddie pool filled with sand that I could put my feet in a lawn chair and like dirty monkey or ⁓ margarita. And I'll just pretend you know, like they call them dirty but like they're the piña colada and chocolate like banana drinky thing you know I'm talking about. Catie Fitzgerald: Yeah. What's a dirty monkey? No, I have not had the pleasure to have one of those. Okay. Danielle: They have many names. They go by many names, but they all have the same effects. They're very, very sweet ends. Catie Fitzgerald: I've been on an app called SpritzKick. Danielle: My mom loves Ap girl spritzes as well right now. So she's making me drink them. I like Frank 75 right now. Catie Fitzgerald: I think I've been on it since I came. I've been on a kick since I came to see you last. Danielle: ⁓ so my mom influenced you? Catie Fitzgerald: I don't think she, we didn't go out with her when I was there, but we went out and I got it at lunch. And then it was, I've been like, wow, that was good. Danielle: Well, maybe you can get some Aperol Spritzes on Sunday. And I'll have some French 75s. And if like, nobody does any of that for you when you come visit me, I'll do that for you. It's gonna be great. Catie Fitzgerald: You never know. we'll get them. We'll celebrate. All right. Well, everyone have a wonderful Mother's Day. We hope you guys get pampered and it's time for us to clock back into the nine to five. Danielle: Until next time everyone. Catie Fitzgerald: Bye.