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FOCUS: How To Stop C*ck Blocking Yourself From Doing Things · Do You F*cking Mind?

• 0:09
  Speaker 1: So stop confusing thinking about something versus actioning. They are
• 0:13
  Speaker 1: two universes apart. Okay, don't put yourself in the category
• 0:18
  Speaker 1: of someone who actions something versus someone who thinks about it.
• 0:21
  Speaker 1: You are delusional if you think that that's the case.
• 0:24
  Speaker 1: If you want to change it, action it, and stop
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: talking about it. Okay, talking about something is the worst
• 0:30
  Speaker 1: thing you can do because you kid yourself into thinking
• 0:33
  Speaker 1: that you've already started doing it when you haven't. You
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: get praise from people. You get people saying, yeah, that's
• 0:39
  Speaker 1: amazing that you're going to go on this fitness journey. Yes,
• 0:41
  Speaker 1: that's amazing that you're going on that diet. Yes, that's
• 0:44
  Speaker 1: so good. You should definitely start that brand idea. You
• 0:46
  Speaker 1: should definitely move cities. That's such a great idea. Should
• 0:49
  Speaker 1: And here you are talking about it, talking about it,
• 0:51
  Speaker 1: talking about it, not taking action, never taking action. And
• 0:55
  Speaker 1: what happens when you talk about it to somebody You
• 0:58
  Speaker 1: get praise, people like oh may saying, so you get
• 1:01
  Speaker 1: this really like this hit. You get this hit a
• 1:03
  Speaker 1: feel good neurotransmitters, dopimin whatever, So then you're like that
• 1:06
  Speaker 1: fucking felt good. I'm gonna tell that next kind over
• 1:09
  Speaker 1: there about my ideas. And so you start telling everybody left,
• 1:12
  Speaker 1: right and center about all your ideas. You're getting all
• 1:14
  Speaker 1: these accolades for something you haven't even achieved, and then
• 1:18
  Speaker 1: when it comes to actually achieving it, you're like, well, well,
• 1:20
  Speaker 1: well that's not fun. That is not fucking fun. That
• 1:24
  Speaker 1: is boring, mundane, and it requires daily effort. I don't
• 1:28
  Speaker 1: want to do that shit. I'd rather just talk about
• 1:29
  Speaker 1: it and still get the accolades. See that's the lazy mentality,
• 1:34
  Speaker 1: that's the avoidance, that's the hesitation. All of that shit
• 1:39
  Speaker 1: is going down. And when it comes to actioning things,
• 1:41
  Speaker 1: this probably right here, what I'm talking about right now
• 1:44
  Speaker 1: has got to be the most important thing here. Stop
• 1:48
  Speaker 1: kidding yourself and believing that you can do it at
• 1:52
  Speaker 1: any time. If you're not willing to action it now,
• 1:54
  Speaker 1: stop thinking that your future self is going to action
• 1:56
  Speaker 1: it what you are doing right now to in this moment.
• 2:01
  Speaker 1: If you are not willing to do it today, your
• 2:04
  Speaker 1: tomorrow self is not going to be willing to do it.
• 2:06
  Speaker 1: Yourself of six months is not going to be willing
• 2:07
  Speaker 1: to do it. Your future self is your present self,
• 2:12
  Speaker 1: just like who you are today is a summation of
• 2:15
  Speaker 1: all your decisions and actions of the last six months, year,
• 2:18
  Speaker 1: or even longer than that. If you want to change
• 2:20
  Speaker 1: who you are in six months, you have to change
• 2:23
  Speaker 1: what you're doing now, not tomorrow, because you're not going
• 2:27
  Speaker 1: to do it tomorrow. So basically, what I'm saying is,
• 2:29
  Speaker 1: if you are in that situation and you're not willing
• 2:32
  Speaker 1: to do something right now, then you need to change
• 2:34
  Speaker 1: a lot of shit about your life. You need to
• 2:36
  Speaker 1: start changing your routines. You need to start implementing some
• 2:39
  Speaker 1: new rituals and habits. You need to start getting rid
• 2:41
  Speaker 1: of certain things, streamlining your life, making it easier for
• 2:44
  Speaker 1: you to make decisions. Listen to my podcast from two
• 2:47
  Speaker 1: episodes ago about decision fatigue. You've got to be doing
• 2:50
  Speaker 1: that shit so you can actually make some serious change
• 2:53
  Speaker 1: in your life. Okay, but stop talking about it unless
• 2:56
  Speaker 1: you're willing to action it. This is a lie, and
• 2:59
  Speaker 1: so so many people are so big on like, if
• 3:02
  Speaker 1: you want to make an idea happen, tell everyone, because
• 3:05
  Speaker 1: then they'll keep you accountable. Then I keep you accountable.
• 3:08
  Speaker 1: It's not their it's not their responsibility to keep you accountable.
• 3:12
  Speaker 1: Stop telling people that you're going to do something so
• 3:15
  Speaker 1: that way, So then the onus is on them. Fucking stop.
• 3:18
  Speaker 1: It's not anybody's responsibility or for you to do something
• 3:23
  Speaker 1: or to keep you accountable. It is your job to
• 3:25
  Speaker 1: keep yourself accountable, Okay, nobody else's. It is your job
• 3:29
  Speaker 1: to action something nobody else's. So when it comes to
• 3:33
  Speaker 1: talking to somebody about something that you're doing, I personally
• 3:37
  Speaker 1: would only be talking to people that are either a
• 3:41
  Speaker 1: really good sounding board for ideas that would actually help
• 3:45
  Speaker 1: me get closer to that goal or idea, or somebody
• 3:49
  Speaker 1: that's doing it with me. Like let's say that you
• 3:51
  Speaker 1: want to go on a journey together and you think
• 3:53
  Speaker 1: it would be better to do it together. Fine, as
• 3:55
  Speaker 1: long as you don't rely on that person for them
• 3:57
  Speaker 1: to keep you accountable, because like I said, it's not
• 3:59
  Speaker 1: their job and that's about it. That's about it. So
• 4:03
  Speaker 1: if you have an overwhelming urge to tell someone about something,
• 4:09
  Speaker 1: just tell yourself. The only way I can tell this
• 4:11
  Speaker 1: person is through my actions, That's it. And if you're
• 4:15
  Speaker 1: not willing to take action, then you just don't want
• 4:17
  Speaker 1: to do it bad enough. You just want the celebration
• 4:20
  Speaker 1: of the moment of someone telling you congratulations for thinking
• 4:22
  Speaker 1: of something okay, and you'll start to notice, start to
• 4:26
  Speaker 1: it's really important when you're doing this work on yourself
• 4:29
  Speaker 1: to start to identify patterns in your life. What I'm
• 4:33
  Speaker 1: talking about. You can see it in people around you.
• 4:36
  Speaker 1: The people that achieve the most, the ones that are doers,
• 4:39
  Speaker 1: people of action. They don't really talk about what they're
• 4:42
  Speaker 1: going to be doing next. They don't really unless it's
• 4:45
  Speaker 1: relevant to the conversation or unless you're talking about something
• 4:47
  Speaker 1: that they've done to talk about, you know whatever. But
• 4:49
  Speaker 1: they're likely not going to be I'm gonna be doing
• 4:52
  Speaker 1: this next, and this They're just going to do it. Okay.
• 4:56
  Speaker 1: You'll see a pattern. The people that don't really you know,
• 5:00
  Speaker 1: aren't engaging in a lot of change in their life.
• 5:03
  Speaker 1: They aren't really doing anything new. Are the ones that
• 5:06
  Speaker 1: are likely to be all talk and no action. Okay,
• 5:09
  Speaker 1: you just decide which category you want to be in, okay.
• 5:13
  Speaker 1: And the funny thing is, once you become aware of this,
• 5:15
  Speaker 1: it starts annoying you when people talk and don't take
• 5:18
  Speaker 1: action because you think, oh, I know, I've done that
• 5:20
  Speaker 1: before and it's up to me to make the change now.
• 5:42
  Speaker 1: I had a lot of people message in saying that
• 5:44
  Speaker 1: they want to start something but they don't want to
• 5:46
  Speaker 1: be shit. Some people say they wanted to do it
• 5:47
  Speaker 1: with a sport. Some people said a language. Some people
• 5:50
  Speaker 1: said like a different career change. And this is so so,
• 5:55
  Speaker 1: so so common, and this is what stops people from
• 5:58
  Speaker 1: doing it. Okay, And I know it's I'm so blase,
• 6:00
  Speaker 1: and I know it sounds so cliche and like, oh,
• 6:03
  Speaker 1: it's been said a million times, but every single person
• 6:06
  Speaker 1: that you admire around you right now was willing to
• 6:11
  Speaker 1: be shit. You have to be willing to be shit
• 6:14
  Speaker 1: at something before you can be good at something. Okay,
• 6:18
  Speaker 1: If you are not willing to be shit, then you're
• 6:21
  Speaker 1: never gonna get there. So if you're hesitating because of that,
• 6:25
  Speaker 1: you know, it says a lot about a person who's
• 6:28
  Speaker 1: comfortable with what they've got, everything's going fine, and then
• 6:31
  Speaker 1: they're like, you know what, No, I'm going to put
• 6:32
  Speaker 1: myself in an uncomfortable situation. I'm going to be average
• 6:35
  Speaker 1: at that and get better and better and better and better,
• 6:37
  Speaker 1: but I'm going to start average. That says a lot
• 6:39
  Speaker 1: about your character. It says I'm willing to put in
• 6:43
  Speaker 1: the work, I'm willing to go out in a limb.
• 6:45
  Speaker 1: I'm willing to be vulnerable. I'm willing to do it
• 6:48
  Speaker 1: regardless of if people laugh or not, regardless if people
• 6:51
  Speaker 1: think I'm being an idiot or doing something stupid or not.
• 6:53
  Speaker 1: I'm just going to do it anyway. So maybe you
• 6:55
  Speaker 1: should do that for yourself as like a project. Why
• 6:58
  Speaker 1: don't you, everyone who's a list right now, pick a task.
• 7:01
  Speaker 1: I don't care how basic it is. Pick a task
• 7:03
  Speaker 1: that you know you're going to be shit at when
• 7:05
  Speaker 1: you start. Because the more you do it in life,
• 7:09
  Speaker 1: the less you hesitate for the bigger things. So why
• 7:11
  Speaker 1: don't you start right now? Make it like, I want
• 7:14
  Speaker 1: to be able to solve a Rubik's cuban x amount
• 7:16
  Speaker 1: of time. I want to be able to do the splits.
• 7:19
  Speaker 1: I want to be able to do a handstand. I
• 7:21
  Speaker 1: want to whatever, start dancing, pick up the guitars, Start
• 7:25
  Speaker 1: learning a language on you know, like I've just started,
• 7:28
  Speaker 1: you know, doing Russian on Duolingo. Can you imagine how
• 7:31
  Speaker 1: shit I am at Russian on duo Lingo? But I'm
• 7:33
  Speaker 1: doing it because I'm getting better. And every time I
• 7:36
  Speaker 1: start to learn something, then the next thing I pick
• 7:39
  Speaker 1: up becomes easier. Psychologically, the task might not be easier,
• 7:43
  Speaker 1: but my hesitance towards doing something gets less and less
• 7:47
  Speaker 1: and less because you think, ugh, i've been shied at
• 7:49
  Speaker 1: something before. It didn't kill me. I'm fine. I'm still
• 7:51
  Speaker 1: standing and I'm a lot smarter and better for it.
• 7:54
  Speaker 1: So the more you start doing in your life where
• 7:57
  Speaker 1: you are an amateur, the less you in the future.
• 8:00
  Speaker 1: You look at it and you're like, I'll take that on.
• 8:02
  Speaker 1: I'll take that and I'll take that on because I've
• 8:04
  Speaker 1: been shitited at something so many times and I know
• 8:06
  Speaker 1: it doesn't kill me, and the things that I liked
• 8:09
  Speaker 1: stuck with me and now I'm fucking good at it. Okay,
• 8:12
  Speaker 1: just always tell yourself, imagine if everyone avoided doing something
• 8:17
  Speaker 1: because they were going to be shit at the beginning,
• 8:19
  Speaker 1: I wouldn't be doing this podcast. This podcast wouldn't exist. Okay,
• 8:22
  Speaker 1: what you're doing right now for your job, you wouldn't
• 8:24
  Speaker 1: be doing because at one point you were shit at it.
• 8:26
  Speaker 1: All this shit that people do. Look at athletes with
• 8:28
  Speaker 1: the Olympics just happened. To imagine if they were like, oh,
• 8:31
  Speaker 1: I'm not going to do that because I'm gonna be shit.
• 8:33
  Speaker 1: Everybody is shit at the beginning. Okay, so you have
• 8:37
  Speaker 1: to say to yourself, I'm willing to be shit right now,
• 8:40
  Speaker 1: I'm going to do it. I'm going to bite the
• 8:41
  Speaker 1: bullet and be shit at something, because unless you pass
• 8:44
  Speaker 1: that threshold, you will never start something new. Okay, You've
• 8:48
  Speaker 1: just got to look at it differently. You've got to
• 8:50
  Speaker 1: look at it as there's two breeds of people, people
• 8:52
  Speaker 1: that are willing to be shit and people that are not.
• 8:54
  Speaker 1: And hopefully you fall into the category of someone that
• 8:57
  Speaker 1: is willing to be shit at something. That's a very
• 8:59
  Speaker 1: cool thing to say about yourself, and a lot of
• 9:01
  Speaker 1: people would admire that about you. It's the opposite of
• 9:03
  Speaker 1: what you think. So now I want to kind of
• 9:06
  Speaker 1: wrap up this episode with giving you kind of like
• 9:10
  Speaker 1: a statement to say to yourself every time you are
• 9:15
  Speaker 1: about to hesitate or you're not going to embark on something,
• 9:19
  Speaker 1: if you're in a position where you're thinking, Okay, by
• 9:22
  Speaker 1: the end of the year, I want to have, you know,
• 9:25
  Speaker 1: this amount of money saved, or I want to have
• 9:27
  Speaker 1: this kind of fitness level or this weight. I want
• 9:30
  Speaker 1: to be at this weight or whatever it is that
• 9:32
  Speaker 1: you want in your life. Okay, but it takes like
• 9:35
  Speaker 1: work to get there, and there's kind of a timeline
• 9:37
  Speaker 1: that you want it at. What is stopping you from
• 9:40
  Speaker 1: starting it now? Okay, number one, what's stopped That's not
• 9:42
  Speaker 1: the question that I'm going to give you. But always
• 9:44
  Speaker 1: ask yourself, what's stopping me from starting it now? And
• 9:46
  Speaker 1: most of the time it's just everything that I said.
• 9:48
  Speaker 1: It's that you've got no evidence that you've done it before,
• 9:50
  Speaker 1: or that you know you're a perfectionist, or that you
• 9:51
  Speaker 1: don't want to be shoot at something, all these things
• 9:53
  Speaker 1: that go through everyone's head. You don't want to be judged. Okay,
• 9:57
  Speaker 1: Now you want to ask yourself, if I don't action
• 10:01
  Speaker 1: something now, what am I telling my future self? Because
• 10:06
  Speaker 1: like I said, your future self is your present self.
• 10:09
  Speaker 1: There is no different don't there is no version of
• 10:12
  Speaker 1: yourself out there that is different to who you are
• 10:15
  Speaker 1: today unless you do something different today. Okay, you have
• 10:20
  Speaker 1: to be willing to action something now. And if you
• 10:24
  Speaker 1: action that thing today, then you can start getting creative
• 10:27
  Speaker 1: with who you can be in the future. Then you
• 10:28
  Speaker 1: can be like, wait a minute, I said I was
• 10:29
  Speaker 1: going to do something and I did it. What can
• 10:31
  Speaker 1: this mean for the future? Mean six months a lot?
• 10:34
  Speaker 1: If I do that every day. But if you say
• 10:36
  Speaker 1: I'm going to do something, but I'll start Monday, has
• 10:38
  Speaker 1: that ever worked for you in the history of humankind?
• 10:41
  Speaker 1: Has starting on Monday been some magical pill that's worked. No, Yet,
• 10:45
  Speaker 1: we fall for that trick every fucking time, even though
• 10:47
  Speaker 1: it's never ever worked for us. It's not working for us.
• 10:51
  Speaker 1: So stop it, okay, action it now. Okay. If you
• 10:56
  Speaker 1: want to start learning something YouTube a tutorial, immediately sign
• 11:00
  Speaker 1: up for the course today. Start saving money now, Like,
• 11:04
  Speaker 1: there's things that you can be doing literally the moment
• 11:08
  Speaker 1: you switch this podcast off, you can be actioning something, okay.
• 11:12
  Speaker 1: And if you're not actioning it, just be real with
• 11:15
  Speaker 1: yourself and say, if I don't action something today, then
• 11:17
  Speaker 1: it's never going to happen for me. Okay. Only ever
• 11:22
  Speaker 1: look at your future based on your actions of today,
• 11:25
  Speaker 1: otherwise you're never gonna get it. The podcast that I
• 11:28
  Speaker 1: spoke about the last two podcasts, which is all about
• 11:31
  Speaker 1: decision making, rituals, habits, actioning something day and day out,
• 11:35
  Speaker 1: all of that is relevant to what I'm talking about today.
• 11:38
  Speaker 1: It's always the smaller things that are going to get
• 11:40
  Speaker 1: you to those massive, bigger things. And lastly, if you're
• 11:44
  Speaker 1: somebody that struggles to get up in the morning. You
• 11:49
  Speaker 1: have to fucking commit to this, because this is what
• 11:52
  Speaker 1: it comes down to. Number One, make sure that you're sleeping.
• 11:54
  Speaker 1: Probably go listen to my sleep podcast, because maybe you've
• 11:56
  Speaker 1: got shit sleep. You need to clean up your sleep
• 11:58
  Speaker 1: hygien because maybe you're genuinely exhausted. Okay, but put that aside.
• 12:02
  Speaker 1: If you're just struggling to get up in the morning,
• 12:04
  Speaker 1: this is what you're gonna do. And if you don't
• 12:05
  Speaker 1: do this, you just don't want it bad enough. Okay,
• 12:08
  Speaker 1: you don't want change bad enough, and that's fine, keep
• 12:10
  Speaker 1: doing what you're doing. But you're going to set an alarm,
• 12:14
  Speaker 1: and you are going to put that alarm away from
• 12:19
  Speaker 1: your bed, away from your bed, okay, somewhere where you
• 12:21
  Speaker 1: literally have to get up out of your bed and
• 12:23
  Speaker 1: access that alarm. Okay. Then next to that alarm, you're
• 12:27
  Speaker 1: going to put a big glass of water. So you
• 12:29
  Speaker 1: are going to walk up to that alarm in the morning,
• 12:32
  Speaker 1: and you are going to drink that glass of water
• 12:34
  Speaker 1: standing up. I can guarantee you you're probably way less
• 12:37
  Speaker 1: likely to want to go back to bed and fall
• 12:38
  Speaker 1: asleep after you've done that. Okay, give it a go.
• 12:41
  Speaker 1: Do it for seven days. Once you've done it for
• 12:43
  Speaker 1: seven days, you can then have the alarm next to
• 12:45
  Speaker 1: your bed. You don't have to be walking across the room,
• 12:47
  Speaker 1: but do it. Make that the thing you action. If
• 12:51
  Speaker 1: you're someone that struggles to get out of bed, obviously
• 12:53
  Speaker 1: make that the goal. I'm saying. I'm telling you right now.
• 12:57
  Speaker 1: If you start actioning tiny goals today, you start doing
• 13:01
  Speaker 1: like they're getting out of bed. You're not snoozing your alarm.
• 13:02
  Speaker 1: Do that for seven days, then you can start doing
• 13:04
  Speaker 1: a little bit more, a little bit more, a little
• 13:06
  Speaker 1: bit more. Before you know it, in three hundred and
• 13:08
  Speaker 1: sixty five days, you could be a completely different person
• 13:12
  Speaker 1: as far as what you've achieved, how good you are
• 13:15
  Speaker 1: at action in something. In the moment, you no longer procrastinate.
• 13:18
  Speaker 1: You've learned so much, you've become really good at something
• 13:21
  Speaker 1: or several things. But that's only possible if you do
• 13:24
  Speaker 1: something today.