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The Sketch: Tony Wright on the Coalition’s 'ship of fools' · Inside Politics

• 0:01
  S1: Hello, it's Tammy Mills here, and I'm the executive producer
• 0:05
  S1: of Inside Politics and the Morning Edition. Tony Wright, the
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  S1: associate editor of The Age, has been writing for 50 years.
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  S1: He is the master of what we call the political sketch.
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  S1: Sketches are akin to a verbal cartoon, and when done well,
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  S1: capture a moment in politics. Today we bring you Tony's
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  S1: sketch on the disintegration of the coalition, titled it's a
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  S1: mess of Titanic Proportions on the coalition's Ship of Fools.
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  S2: You might expect to hear reference to the sinking of
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  S2: the Titanic and commentary about the nationals deserting what, until
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  S2: a few hours ago, was known as the federal coalition.
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  S2: The analogy is too grand. Better to think in miniature.
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  S2: The chaos in one of the Titanic's little lifeboats. The Titanic,
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  S2: was a mighty ship filled with thousands of passengers, from
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  S2: the most powerful to poor immigrants, hunkered in steerage and
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  S2: putting their faith in a better life in the New World.
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  S2: The coalition was a collection of a few ambitious egos
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  S2: and a rump of the confused left over from the
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  S2: last election, with no obvious passage to a land of
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  S2: hope and glory. The ruin now facing them invites comparison
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  S2: with the sort of panic frenzy that meant the Titanic's
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  S2: lifeboats were less than half filled. With those hoping to
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  S2: survive that, the nationals decided to shoulder everyone out of
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  S2: the way during their bolt for the boats on Thursday
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  S2: says a great deal that they chose to do so
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  S2: on a day of mourning for the victims of the
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  S2: Bondi massacre, when they had the decent opportunity to take
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  S2: a deep breath and think things through, says more. David
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  S2: Littleproud actually bawled it out loud. He and his mates
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  S2: quotes cannot be part of the shadow ministry under Sussan Ley.
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  S2: Close quotes. So shove her into the sea. Nationals Senator
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  S2: Susan McDonald made a bold bid for going down with
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  S2: the ship when she denied outright that Littleproud had said
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  S2: the coalition could not proceed with Susan Lee at the helm. Meanwhile,
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  S2: Bridget McKenzie was clearly jockeying for the favoured seat in
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  S2: this ship of fools when she blamed Lee for the
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  S2: whole mess because the opposition leader had been silly enough
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  S2: to accept the written resignations from the frontbench in a
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  S2: day of heroically absurd statements. This wasn't even the nuttiest.
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  S2: The panic, of course, was because the nationals and the
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  S2: liberals feared they'd hit an iceberg called One Nation. But
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  S2: neither the nationals nor the Flightier liberals have bothered to
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  S2: learn much about navigating around such obstacles. They might have
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  S2: remembered the madness that all but destroyed them in the 1980s,
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  S2: when Joh Bjelke-Petersen loomed out of Queensland, claiming only he
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  S2: could save the ship by becoming prime minister despite the
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  S2: actual lack of a seat in Parliament. It was crackpot
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  S2: time and came to nothing beyond the end of Iain
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  S2: Sinclair's period as leader of the nationals. He was replaced
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  S2: by someone called Charles Blunt, who rose from nowhere to obscurity.
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  S2: The replacement of John Howard as opposition leader by the
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  S2: Suntanned Andrew Peacock, and the extinguishment of any faint hope
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  S2: of the coalition winning the next election from Bob Hawke's
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  S2: Labour administration. Now we've got Pauline Hanson, another Queenslander with
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  S2: a remarkably inflated opinion of her political abilities, wonderfully demonstrated
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  S2: by her declaration a few days ago that she was
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  S2: ready to lead the nation. Her new sidekick Barnaby Joyce,
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  S2: elected as a Nat, but now the single One Nation
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  S2: MP in the House of Representatives, was so pleased the
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  S2: nationals had fallen for their own fear of drowning that
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  S2: he couldn't resist a little burlesque. Having spent much of
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  S2: his energy over the years blowing up various relationships, he
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  S2: lectured his former colleagues that you don't blow the whole
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  S2: show up. And then glory be. He launched into a
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  S2: spot of marriage counselling, cautioning that the coalition's predilection for
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  S2: divorce looked crazy and chaotic, and people still find it
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  S2: difficult to believe the Titanic's orchestra kept playing as the
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  S2: ship went down.
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  S1: You can read all of Tony's work and the rest
• 4:59
  S1: of our political news on our websites, the Ajc.com or Smh.com.au.
• 5:07
  S1: Our podcasts are overseen by Lisa Muxworthy and Tom McKendrick.
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  S1: And before you go, follow Inside Politics or The Morning
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  S1: Edition and leave a review for us on Apple or Spotify.
• 5:21
  S1: I'm Tammy Mills, and thank you for listening.