Latest / Mindful Success Path / Five Feminine Boundaries for Attraction
Transcript
- 0:32Have you ever felt like setting boundaries with a man makes you seem difficult or demanding?
- 0:38Like if you say no, you might scare him away.
- 0:41Well, here's the truth that 90% of women miss.
- 0:43A healthy masculine man does not want a woman who is a doormat.
- 0:48He graves a woman who has high energetic standard.
- 0:51And if you are afraid to set those boundaries, you are actually operating from a wounded feminine energy, where the energy of fear and scarcity.
- 1:00Today I'm gonna show you five specific feminine boundaries that don't require big arguments or ultimatums.
- 1:07They are energetic shifts that trigger his instinct to claim you, cherish you and commit to you.
- 1:12And the best part.
- 1:14You don't have to chase anyone, darling.
- 1:15You just have to be.
- 1:17Hi, my name is Amanda.
- 1:18Welcome to this channel where we talk about how to manifest what you want in life without all the extra stress, chaos, and drama that most people are accustomed to.
- 1:26Lately we've been talking a lot about nervous system regulation, feminine energy, masculine energy, relationship dynamics, how to communicate effectively.
- 1:35From feminine energy and so much more.
- 1:37So that's something that you're interested in.
- 1:39Make sure to subscribe and hit the notification bell.
- 1:41So you want me to say single video that we have coming out on this channel?
- 1:46Most of the content is based on my 15 years of experience coaching women in different areas of their lives, and also completely transforming my own life.
- 1:55Once I understood nervous system safety and living from a place of feminine energy, I went from being perpetually single hyper independent.
- 2:03Stressed out, adrenal fatigue, hormones, upside down, um, and really just stressed out.
- 2:09Constantly all the time to, in four months manifesting my masculine provider, protect your husband.
- 2:15Making dreams of living abroad come true.
- 2:17Creating different, um, careers that allow for more passive income or more fun ways of making money.
- 2:24And yes, I even regulated my hormones after not being able to do it for about.
- 2:2815 years.
- 2:30So if that's something you're interested, like I said, make sure to subscribe.
- 2:34Also give it a like,'cause it helps us get it in front of more women.
- 2:37And if you wanna go deeper into the sum of the content, maybe you're newer on this feminine energy journey, then make sure to download our free, enhance your Feminine Energy guide below because it'll show you how to start using feminine energy in different areas of your life, from relationships, to money, to health, and so much more.
- 2:56So let's talk about these five energetic boundaries that make men fall in love with you.
- 3:02First, we need to redefine what a boundary is.
- 3:05So a boundary is not a wall that you build to keep love out.
- 3:10This is what I used to do, right?
- 3:11So I was very hyper independent.
- 3:13I had boundaries.
- 3:15Um, but really what I had done is I had built walls instead of like a fence or a gate.
- 3:21That I can open and close a boundary is simply where you end and he begins.
- 3:26That's it.
- 3:27And when you lack boundaries, you basically, what ends up happening is that you will merge with another person.
- 3:33So you become anxious, you overgive, and then that pushes healthy, masculine men away because there's no you left for him to pursue.
- 3:42So today what we're going to do is we are going to begin reclaiming that energy.
- 3:47So boundary number one is the availability boundary.
- 3:50This is the prize mindset, and by the way, married women, you need to learn how to do this too.
- 3:56So the first boundary is around your time and your availability.
- 4:00So when a woman is in her wounded state, what I call the wounded maiden, we, she clears out her whole schedule.
- 4:06The moment that he texts.
- 4:08She wants to be easygoing, but a high value woman knows her time and her energy are actually her most precious assets.
- 4:17So the boundary, and this is if you're dating right, is don't be available 24 7 and even if you're married, do not be available 24 7.
- 4:24Have your own things going on.
- 4:27So the way that you apply it is if he asks you out last minute and you have plans, even if those plans are you at home with your cat and a book, you honor those plans.
- 4:37You say, I'd love to see you, but I already have plans tonight.
- 4:40That's it.
- 4:42The reason why this works is because you're not playing hard to get, you actually are hard to get because you are busy, loving and living your life.
- 4:50This is something that I talk a lot about in the High Value Woman Transformation program, which you can find the information for and sign up below.
- 4:57It's one of our bestselling programs, and it also signals to his masculine energy.
- 5:02That he needs to plan and compete for your attention.
- 5:05And when a man feels like he needs to compete for your attention, he's gonna move toward you a whole lot more.
- 5:10And when you're married, you still need to find ways to do this because what happens with a lot of women, pardon my being crude and crass when I say this, but you're constantly crawling up your husband's hole all the time and you're nagging, or you're always with him or this or that.
- 5:27We've all done it, by the way.
- 5:28So what I tell a lot of married women to do is like, have your own life.
- 5:32So for example, for me, this YouTube channel and this business, this is a part of me having my own life.
- 5:38This is something that I get to nurture.
- 5:40This is something that I get to build.
- 5:42This is something that I get to pour into.
- 5:44And it also just so happens to create, uh, time constraints where I'm not available all the.
- 5:52Time, which then makes my husband more attracted to me because he realizes like, oh, there's a little, not, not, there's, um, there's a gap, which is what I call it, right?
- 6:02So this is when you create a little bit of distance and then that distance creates attraction.
- 6:07And that's something that I go more deep into the psychology of that and the, um.
- 6:12Feminine Magnetism Mastery program, which you can also find the information for that below.
- 6:16So boundary number two is the therapist boundary, and this is about staying in feeling mode.
- 6:22So this is when a woman has to learn to stop the emotional labor.
- 6:27And we've all had to do this at some point.
- 6:30Uh,'cause you have to remember that a lot of men have had not had good examples of healthy masculine behavior.
- 6:35So a lot of women are the ones who sometimes have to stop the emotional labor, although I have noticed that.
- 6:42When a man is healthy in his masculine energy, he may just be talking things out with you because he too is totally confused by a lot of the societal programming that's out there.
- 6:53So, for example, there's been a lot of societal programming for a long time about women saying, oh, he just needs to be more sensitive.
- 7:00I wish he was more sensitive.
- 7:01I wish he was more aware of his emotions.
- 7:04But then what ends up happening is when a man becomes overly into his emotions and starts talking to you about them too much.
- 7:10Because there is a too much women immediately get turned off by it.
- 7:14And it is, it makes a lot of sense because we are looking to the men, um, to be strong and also healthy.
- 7:21Masculine men do not process their emotions by treating you like a therapist.
- 7:25They do it in completely different ways, and I've done other videos about that.
- 7:30But the thing to keep in mind here is that you need to, uh, set a boundary around emotional labor.
- 7:36So many of us.
- 7:37Fall into the trap of trying to fix a man and listen to his problems for hours or coach him through his life.
- 7:44We've all freaking done it at some point, and a big part of the reason why is because we as women have a lot of nurturing energy.
- 7:53So this is actually why I was like, let me go start a new YouTube channel and a new business so I can go nurture that.
- 7:59Have plants have pets, right?
- 8:01And go nurture those things instead of coaching your husband.
- 8:05And for those of us who, for example, our profession is literally coaching or being a therapist or those kinds of things, sometimes it's extra hard for us to turn this thing off because we're constantly in this space.
- 8:18So that's why I'm like, please go have your own projects.
- 8:20So you do not coach your man.
- 8:21Do not coach your man.
- 8:23But anyway.
- 8:24Um, what, what ends up happening is when we're doing that right, we are more in masculine energy.
- 8:29It's mother energy.
- 8:31So like I said, sometimes the man is going to be dumping his emotions on you because he too has gotten very conflicting information.
- 8:39Um, and he thinks now that he's supposed to do that in order to be more sensitive or whatever.
- 8:45Or perhaps he did not have healthy examples of healthy masculine energy growing up, which is.
- 8:51Unfortunately very common, um, these days depending on, you know, what country and culture you're from and stuff like that.
- 8:58And women, because we're so nurturing sometimes, like we will end up doing it without him even prompting it because we wanna like nurture stuff, which get a plant if you wanna nurture something.
- 9:10So the boundary here is you are his lover, not his therapist.
- 9:14The way that you apply it is when he starts dumping heavy emotional baggage early on.
- 9:19Or he asks you to solve his problems, you step back.
- 9:23You can be supportive without taking it on.
- 9:25And quite frankly, I think there's a lot of men out here who are also confused about this, where they expect women to do like actual physical or emotional labor and that that's support, but that's not really what support is in the feminine and healthy masculine men.
- 9:41Know that healthy masculine men know that the way healthy feminine women support is by having confidence in their man.
- 9:48So that sounds like I have full faith that you will figure this out and you gently change the subject to something lighter or you just send them on their merry way.
- 9:56I've done that, right?
- 9:58Um, I've coached a lot of women.
- 10:00Uh, to do this.
- 10:01And again, I've had to be really careful about this, particularly calling myself out because I have been coaching for 15 years.
- 10:08So I really, really have to be careful about this.
- 10:11And those of you who are in service professions, um, you just be very careful about this.
- 10:15So essentially what that does is when you set that boundary and you express your confidence in him to go figure out the problem, him.
- 10:23Self.
- 10:24It keeps you in your receiving energy and it forces him to step up into his own masculine problem solving power.
- 10:31And guess what happens?
- 10:34Men build confidence by overcoming challenges and solving problems.
- 10:39They actually become more masculine when they do it.
- 10:42It is wired in them.
- 10:43And I cover that in the feminine magnetism mastery.
- 10:47Program.
- 10:47I go deeper into the psychology of that.
- 10:49So boundary number three is the investment boundary.
- 10:52So this is about reciprocity.
- 10:54Those of you who are dating, I really need you to understand this one because it is crucial.
- 11:01Never give life benefits to a boyfriend, and definitely don't ever give him to a situationship because feminine energy is all about receiving.
- 11:09So if you're cooking, cleaning, and managing his life before he's committed anything to you, you're actually operating in reverse and you're setting yourself up for failure because you are overdelivering in order to earn love.
- 11:22So to give you an idea, and we've talked about this on the channel, and it turned into a huge joke between my husband and I, I know how to cook.
- 11:30I may have made my husband believe while we were dating.
- 11:34That I did not know how to cook because I was not about to cook for a boyfriend.
- 11:41I wasn't about to do it.
- 11:43Now, once we were, um, fiance and getting married and all that kind of stuff, then things obviously started to shift a little bit, and then I started cooking and he was like in shock because he thought the whole time that I didn't know how to cook.
- 11:55We've talked about this, but the reason why I did that is because I didn't wanna go into a relationship operating in reverse.
- 12:02Absolutely not.
- 12:03And then what happens?
- 12:04Another thing women need to understand here is that even good men will do what I'm about to say.
- 12:11And this might trigger a lot of people.
- 12:14Men will see you as a convenience, right?
- 12:18They will keep you around because you are convenient.
- 12:21If you are convenient, and I've done other videos about this too convenient.
- 12:25Especially when you're not committed, they will not actually commit.
- 12:29They'll be like, oh, I like her company.
- 12:31Oh, I like that.
- 12:32She cooks for me.
- 12:33Oh, I like that.
- 12:34She cleans for me.
- 12:35But girl, you will never get the ring because you have become convenient.
- 12:38And even good men will use feminine energy in that way.
- 12:44They will do it if you become too convenient to them.
- 12:48I've done other videos about this where literally men.
- 12:51In the comments, I've been in the video saying, thank you for explaining this to women.
- 12:55I'm having my daughter watch this, right?
- 12:58So the boundary here is you want to match his investment.
- 13:02Here's how to apply it.
- 13:03Ladies, if you're dating, please, please, please listen to this.
- 13:06If he texts you, text, if he calls you, call If he plans the dates good for him, but you do not lead.
- 13:14You lean back.
- 13:15If he stops rowing the boat, you do not pick up the orders.
- 13:20You let the boat stop.
- 13:22You let the boat stall.
- 13:24And this is actually the scariest boundary, especially for women who are in the dating stages and they're not committed yet, but it's the only one that's going to reveal if he's actually a healthy masculine man.
- 13:36Now, boundary number four is the verbal abuse slash disrespect boundary.
- 13:40This is the soft walkaway.
- 13:42So what do you do when he is disrespectful?
- 13:44Raises his voice or his inconsistent.
- 13:47Well, the wounded feminine, she's going to fight.
- 13:49She screams, she cries, she tries to explain why she deserves respect.
- 13:55A masculine woman, she'll argue to the death is what she, um, will do, but the divine feminine simply removes her presence.
- 14:04That's all she does.
- 14:04She just walks as she just walks away because she understands that access to her is a privilege.
- 14:11So here's how to apply it.
- 14:12If the energy gets toxic, you don't fight.
- 14:15You say, I don't speak to people that way, and I don't expect being spoken to that way.
- 14:20I'm going to go now.
- 14:22And you leave.
- 14:23You hang up, you walk away because the silence is loud and your absence teaches him more than your words ever.
- 14:30Will, and a side effect is that the absence also creates attraction, but I'm not going into that right now.
- 14:36Boundary number five is the mental boundary.
- 14:40So this is probably the most important one because a lot of women don't realize the power that they have in between their two ears.
- 14:46So this is the boundary that you set in your own mind, and here is how you apply it.
- 14:52You must set boundaries against thoughts that say you are unworthy.
- 14:56Second, best, unlovable, not pretty enough.
- 15:00Too fat.
- 15:01No one ever wants you.
- 15:02You're too old, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.
- 15:05I've heard it all from the women in the comment section and in my emails, because what happens is when that doubt starts to creep in, what if he leaves?
- 15:14You have to set a boundary with your own mind because you cannot serve two masters.
- 15:21This is when you say, no, I don't entertain that story.
- 15:24I am the prize.
- 15:25I am chosen.
- 15:27I am worthy of great love.
- 15:28And you must mentally reject any scenario where you are not in a position where you are being cherished and loved, and by a man where he is devoted to you because your outer reality is going to shift to match your inner boundary.
- 15:45This is, uh, I think it was in the Bible.
- 15:47I was reading a book about this.
- 15:48I forgot which one it was, but there's a line in the Bible that's like, get behind me, Satan, and you know, it's turned into a meme and a joke.
- 15:54That's basically what it's about.
- 15:56It's setting those mental and energy energetic boundaries within yourself because that is actually going to create your reality.
- 16:04There are way too many of you who watch this YouTube channel.
- 16:06You're like, it's never gonna happen for me.
- 16:08It's never going to be easy for me.
- 16:10I've had all these horrible things happen to me.
- 16:12They're going to keep happening to me.
- 16:14It's gonna take forever for me.
- 16:16I only attract narcissistic people.
- 16:18I only attract abusers.
- 16:20Well, if you keep saying that, then yeah, that's what's going to continue being your reality.
- 16:24So you have to have one of these.
- 16:25Get behind me Satan moments every time that starts to happen.
- 16:30So remember, boundaries are an act of self love.
- 16:33And when you hold those standards, the wrong men are going to fall away and you are going to want them to fall away because then you're making space for the masculine man who wants to rise to meet you.
- 16:47And if you're ready to stop chasing and start attracting, then make sure you subscribe and hit the bell and let me know in the combats, which of these five boundaries is the hardest for one for you to set.
- 16:58I will tell you which one's the hardest one for me.
- 17:00The hardest one for me is sometimes the mental one.
- 17:02That's the one that was hardest for me, for me for 15 years.
- 17:05That was the hardest one.
- 17:06But let me know in the comments which one's the hardest one for you and let's support each other below.
- 17:11Thank you so much for giving me your time today.
- 17:13Make sure to download your free, enhance your Feminine Energy Guide if you haven't done so yet.
- 17:17You can also check out all the other resources that we have available in the description and I will catch you on the next one.