Latest / Casually Crashing Out / Calm Between The Chaos
Transcript
- Taylor Coker: Welcome, welcome my overthinkers anonymous. I'm Taylor Coker and you're listening to Casually Crashing Out. Because lucky for y'all, my emotional support item is indeed a microphone. We're casually crashing. Laughing while we're spirin. We're casually crashing. We're fine until we're not. It's giving emotional support podcast. Welcome, welcome. Episode four. First, I just want to say again, if you are still on this crazy train, or I guess I would say train wreck of a ride, hell yeah, bitch. Hell yeah. You're in it for the long haul. I have had so much fun making these episodes, recording these episodes. Editing the episodes, it's definitely been a learning curve for me just because this is something that I've never done. I mean, the talking, the talking I do on a daily, but the computer side of it, having to understand electronics in any way is always challenging for me. I am not tech savvy whatsoever. So this whole thing has definitely been a huge learning curve for me. Speaking of crash outs, this Morning has been one for the books. Actually, I'll just say the last 24 hours has been one for the books. As I've expressed, I am very technologically stupid. I am not good at figuring out technology, especially on my own. I can barely do it with like Apple support. So doing it alone, that's that's a no-go for me. and don't even get me started on my husband trying to tell me what to do. That's an even bigger no-go. I have been trying to book my hotel for the Hillary Duff concert. And I'm locked out of my Hyatt account. My email has been messed up now for going on six months. It takes me anywhere from 20 minutes to two weeks to receive an email. Ain't no rhyme or reason. And it's not just my main email. It's my casually crashing out email. It is my iCloud email. So every time that my Hyatt verification email was sent to me. It expires because it takes like forty-five minutes for me to get it. So I was completely locked out of my Hyatt account. So this morning I woke up at 4 30 AM, not by choice. That's just what my internal clock does nowadays. And I ended up mass deleting all of my emails on the Gmail account. I called Hyatt support. I called Apple support. I finally got it fixed. I think I can log into my Hyatt. My Gmail is receiving emails. With all that being said, am I the only one that doesn't understand it? Am I the only one that doesn't understand why you have to update something every few months? All day yesterday, my computer was lagging so bad. I was literally about to smash it. I was getting so worked up. I was like, this is a brand new Mac. Spent over a thousand dollars on this damn computer. I mean, I was losing it. turns out it just needed to be updated. Who knew that Macs needed to be updated too? Who knew? Girl is just still living and learning. It's working great now. It just shows that there's always tomorrow. My Gmail's working again. My Mac's working again. my husband just bought a hot tub for $200. It is inflatable and it is used. But he did ask the man he's buying it from if he's ever had sex in it. And the guy said no. Whether that's true or not, I don't know, but at least he asked. So we should have a new hot tub in the next few days. speaking of the Hillary Duff concert, when it comes to, you know, concerts, I like to do it up. I like to make sure that I I'm a whole vibe. And in Hillary Duff, that's a vibe. Y'all already know. After weeks and weeks of searching, I finally found the perfect shirt. The perfect one, the perfect outfit. I have every other piece of this outfit except for the shirt, and I find the perfect shirt. However, it's one of those things where the shop online looks a little bit questionable, I would say. It's on Amazon, but the shop itself is a name I cannot pronounce. It looks almost like it's like knockoff merch from her tour. I'm not asking morally if it's right if I buy it. It would come like the day before the concert. Is it worth buying it? That's what I'm asking. If I pay the extra $14, I'll get it the day before the concert. I don't like ordering stuff online. It doesn't normally fit me, but I just have a feeling about this shirt. I have a feeling. So let's see actually. Yeah, July 27th. That's the day before the concert. I'm about to buy it. I'm about to do it. YOLO. Yeah, it's definitely vibes for sure. Ordered. Hmm. $35 later. I actually have a Lizzie McGuire shirt that I bought from Goodwill, like a week after I bought the Hillary Duff tickets. And I was like, what a steal. Got a five dollar outfit for the Hillary Duff concert. And of course, typical Taylor Coker fashion, the closer it gets. I'm like, I am not wearing that Goodwill shirt. I am gonna look badass for this damn concert. Now, I'm sure you guys are wondering who my co-host is this week. And I do have to tell you, this week I am flying solo. Obviously, I love to give you guys variety. I like to give you guys a little bit of something new every episode, which is why I bring on a co-host, just to give a little bit of a different perspective from every angle of. The world of crash outs. But this week I was going through all of my recordings and I was listening to some of this content that I didn't get to put in the podcast just because it was just extra fluff that was still very much funny, but I just felt like it just didn't flow with the conversation or I just simply had to make room. So it just ended up on the cutting floor. With all that being said, I figured it would be a good week to do a Crash out vault episode. What is a crash out vault, you ask? Good question. The crash out vault is where all of the bloopers, extended scenes, or simply recordings that didn't make the cut end up. And now they're gonna end up in this episode because a lot of these are too funny not to share, guys. And of course, you know, I'll make up for the lack of co-host. I mean, I normally talk enough for two or three people anyway. So I've been doing a lot of bumming around the house lately. Your girl is a bum by nature, but I mean this past week, a little bit more so than usual, especially with the podcast. I've just been I've been a little bit of a homebody. And when you're at your home, you don't really care what you look like. You don't really care what you're wearing. You don't put much thought into it. I have a lot of loungy clothes, so I'm okay with it. My husband, anytime we go anywhere, a show, a concert, if we go out of town, my husband brings me back a Big sweatshirt. That's just something he does because my favorite thing in the world is just to sit on my porch with all my lights on, with my glass of wine, and my blankie and my oversized sweatshirt and watch Love Island. Okay? Sorry. Can you blame me? I'm just a girl. So I have this one sweatshirt that is from an Adam Ray comedy show. I don't know if you guys know who Adam Ray is, but he is a comedian that has a lot of famous little bits that he does. One of his most famous bits is him as Dr. Phil, and he's like a very vulgar Dr. Phil. And one of the main sayings that he says is, I don't like your fing attitude. So of course, going to this comedy show, I had to have this sweatshirt. And the front is Adam Ray dressed up as Dr. Phil, giving double birdies. And on the back it says, I don't like your fing attitude. I wear that sweatshirt around this house way more than I like to admit. So I'm wearing the sweatshirt, I'm walking around the house We had just ordered pizza for lunch. Yes. And I normally never answer the door when the doorbell rings, guys. That's that's my husband's job. I don't like not only do I like to be at home, I don't like people. So I just I just get enough of my social interaction at work so that when I'm home, I don't want to interact with anybody. The doorbell rings, I go to get it because I think it's the pizza and I figure it's gonna be a quick interaction. I open the door and to my lovely surprise, it is two Jehovah's Witness standing there. Also, I have on these really short shorts underneath. So it looks like I'm not wearing any shorts. It looks like I'm just wearing a sweatshirt. And it's just with double birdies. my god. And I'm, you know, holding my dog back. She's freaking the f out of their precious little hearts. We were just wondering if you wanted to go to church. And I'm like, I'll get back to you. How about how about I'll have my people call your people? How's that sound? They were probably like, Whew, thank God. Just getting they were probably like, That girl needs Jesus. We're gonna stop by every week until she's ready. Alrighty, Crash Out Queens, enough procrastinating, even though it is my specialty these days. Without further ado, I present to you the Crash Out Vault. So yesterday, Hannah called me back in the office. She was like, So crazy story. The hat lady, we have this hat lady every year at our work that comes in for Derby Day. She makes her own hats and she sells them. But the lady canceled on her the day of. So she's like, we have no hat lady. Well, then she found this lady on Facebook Marketplace that may or may not come in later. She said she would, but we didn't know. We were just really hoping she was gonna come. So we're writing down ever the list of things to say on the radio and I was like, what if we just yelled hats, hats, hats? Because we don't even know if the hats are gonna be here. Like and so Hannah writes it down like jokingly. And then when she goes on the radio, I think she gets so nervous. She just goes, hats, hats, hats. And I'm like, Hannah, we may not have hats. but we did. Came through. We may not have hats though, Hannah. We just talked about promises. Promises were fulfilled. But she only had like six. Boom, but sometimes you know you're gonna get that with a last minute friend new hat a hat like marketplace. But so we really just should have said hats, hats, hats, hats, hats, hats. Six. I would just like, like you're not a serial killer ma'am that I just met on Facebook. Check. She looked she looked really nice actually. She did. Yeah, she was all dressed up. That was cute. Nailed it. Yeah. She definitely was a vibe. We should use her next year. Did she make those hats? Some of them, yeah. Cool. And well then her mom showed up and had more hats. So I was like, Great. Did she sell any? I don't think so. But you know what? I felt She came s really late though. Our GM even just said was like, I think this is too late. But I like, already in motion, she's coming. You know. Mm-hmm. Let her sell her six hats, you know? Yeah, she did. She showed up. She had a great time too. The the photo booth that we have. she was Do you mind if I go in there? I was like, Girl, get it. Yes. Posted. That photo booth was so fun. I wanna can I actually I wanna rent that for something. If I had like a party in my backyard. Just you out. Honey, my fortieth those are ideas, okay? My fortieth birthday. Actually, my thirty sixth birthday, if if it's not too much. Well, first only three weeks away. First I thought it was a club. I was like, that's a club. I think that'd be cool too. Yeah, like a little mini rave club with a smoke machine. Yeah. For Ashland, Kentucky. That would be really fitting. Yeah. On the little Just me and people in there in the wheelchairs. Me and Jason, remember when we drove by the Longhorn the other day and then you looked and you said, Is that a bus full of wheelchairs? And you're like, where did they sit? Because it was like 20 people in 20 wheelchairs. In their wheelchairs. What do you mean? Where did they sit? They had to move. What are you all talking about? That's just a lot of wheelchairs. I don't know where they would the table would have been. I know they sat in their wheelchairs. Wheelchairs, Hannah. I just don't know in the where they sat in the restaurant. Well they pulled the chairs out and they rolled the wheelchair. And I w where did they put the chairs? I have a lot of questions. I need to ask questions to Serving is not for the week. Well bartending is hard and I will stand on that hill. But your money is shows for it being hard. Serving is hard and I just feel like it's not Well, I think there's so much control that you have at the bar. If you get a poor tip, it's because you did something wrong. When you're serving, you're relying on the cook to prepare your steak. Correctly whatever it is. If they mess up, then you're not gonna get a tip. The host, if they had a bad interaction with the host, you're gonna get a bad tip. Yeah. and they sit there for so long. You know, when when you when someone comes up to the bar and orders a drink, I interact with them for just a few seconds. Yes. And I'm not saying I don't like interacting with people, but I'm saying it's taxing on you mentally to interact all day long. And then especially if all your people were not very nice, it's it's it messes with your mental health. That's what they call it like depleting your cup. Yesterday, me and Hannah had been there. So at our job, again, I Hannah went in at nine a.m. I went in at eleven a.m. And Hannah left at nine PM and I left about almost ten. That being said, we were still busy when I left. And you it was still busy when you left. You get to a point when you're working with the public, you lose the ability to pretend and to be nice to people and act like you care because it's you've been doing it for now Even if you really do care. It's just that you're just you've been doing it for 10 hours. Yeah. There's nothing left in you. So you're just staring at people like a robot, just doing the motion. I was like, I just need to get out of here. And so I did. And then me and Hannah went out and we drank. Yes, yes. So being my you know, mid-twenties that I am, I'm learning as I'm getting older that, you know, like I can't drink like you used to, but like having a hard day like that, I was like, Feeling myself after those two drinks. And I felt it this morning as well. Really? Well, I just it's ten years ago I would have drank would have been nothing. Half a bottle of crack, you know? And and still got up and yeah, did whatever. But I was thinking about that. I I'll have like a couple glasses of wine and I'll be like, Okay, I gotta get to bed by ten PM so I can wake up at seven AM, you know. I and then I think about nights where I like partied in a field until five in the morning and drank E and J. Yeah. yeah. Brandy and woke up at eight to go to work. Like or went to work on no sleep at Still smelling like it for sure. Drunk still cutting people's hair. I'm just kidding. I don't think I did that when I was cutting people's hair, but I was definitely working in a tanning salon going to going to work with no sleep and probably still drunk. yeah. sorry it happened. No, me me as well. You know, like I had no business being at the room at eight AM. So bad. Yeah. Me and my friend Morgan, we used to work at this place called Piccadilly Cafeteria. And it it I don't even think it's in business anymore. It it was just this big cafeteria style, but it was always like old people. You know what I mean? Yeah. We worked with these two guys and they would go out with us. We'd all go out together and we would have to all work the next morning. And we're all we would all just literally go into work like the night's over. Now we're going to work. And I remember we would like fight over who got to be and like salads because salads was cold and no one ever really wanted salads. But there the rest of it was just this steam steam table. You could see the steam. People are like, I'd like macros and mashed potatoes. Not just like sweating. The alcohols coming through your all's pores. Morgan was like Morgan and Morgan would get violently hung over. Like violently running to the bathroom like like you could hear her. that I remember who the people we were working with, the guys we were working with, they just were cracking up because God, what a horrible, horrible, horrible time. It was so bad. Thinking about it makes me want to pew. It was so bad. But okay, the point being we did that and you know, the night I'd be like, Yeah, let's go out again tonight. yeah. My crash out of the week. Alrighty, Spiral Squad. Welcome back to your favorite segment on your favorite podcast, Crash Out of the Week. This week's entry comes from none other than the lovely Alana Coker. So, for those that don't know, when I married my husband, I married into a stepmom role of not just one but two daughters. Jalen, who is 13 and she spends every summer and Christmas with us here in Kentucky. And Alana, who is in her 20s, rocking it out. She lives in Colorado, just doing her single mom thing. I also want to say that my husband's daughters are so funny. They're probably some of the wittiest. They're they're definitely funnier than him. So but yeah, let's dive right into it, shall we? Dear Crash Out of the Week. My weekly crash out is that someone stole my car. God. In the two minutes it took me to bring my dog back upstairs after our morning walk. I came back down for work, looked around in the parking lot thinking I was losing my mind, and had a full on dude, where's my car moment? It was missing for three weeks. After two weeks of hearing absolutely nothing, I gave up and bought a new car with a three hundred and sixty-nine dollar a month payment because I needed to get to work. Literally, one week later, the cops called and said they found my car. Of course, isn't it ironic? To make it even more disrespectful, it was a girl who stole it, and she couldn't even leave my baby's car seat. Aww. While all of this was happening, I noticed a car sitting in my apartment parking lot that hadn't moved since the day my car disappeared. My boyfriend checked the plates and they were from out of state. So I called it in. Turns out that car had also been stolen. They had dumped it there and switched over to my car. How convenient, huh? Then I spent $30 to an Uber to the impound just to find out my car had accidentally been placed on an evidence hold. They basically said, Yep, it's your car, but you can't have it. The only officer who could release it was on a vacation. A week and another $30 Uber later, I finally got it back. They stole my car seat, my radio that I installed myself, every piece of paper in my car, and even the picture of my boyfriend that was taped to the ceiling. That's fucking weird. Maybe she thought he was cute. They swapped all my wheels and tires for cheapballed ones with the spare tire. The only things that they left behind were random and they weren't mine. Tweezers, nail clippers, also not mine, and a free phone charger. Thanks, I guess. So now I have two cars. The new one that I had to buy because mine was stolen, and the old one that came back looking like it lost a fight with life. well, you know what? Reading this makes me feel a lot better about my week dealing with my iPhone. I mean a car. God, I don't know what I would do if I walked out in my driveway and my car wasn't there. I would probably blame your dad because that's what I do for everything. Jason Did you leave it unlocked? It's like a nervous tick I have. I just automatically blame everything on him. The fact that you got it figured out within, you know, a week. New car and all. I that's I'm super proud of you. That's a pretty big purchase. And I'm sure it was not an easy one to fork up that kind of money when you weren't expecting it, especially being newly on your own with a child. I also wanna ask hypothetically if you hypothetically figured out who the girl that stole your car is and hypothetically found where she lived and hypothetically Did something to vandalize her home, car. Just wondering if you maybe hypothetically did any of that. But if not, maybe we can just give her a solid shout-out in the podcast. So if you hypothetically come up with her name, hypothetically message me, and we'll make sure the world knows who this bitch is, okay? Still a baby's car seat from my stepdaughter. People are so weird. Who steals cars anymore? Who does that? Are you ready to play? Yes. You ready to play? All righty everybody. Welcome to this week's segment, People Who Owe Me an Apology. You didn't introduce me. I owe you an apology. I owe you apology. I don't owe you apologies. Jalen just asked Jason why he he makes his voice sound deeper on the I don't I don't have a deep voice. I don't owe you an apology. I have done nothing wrong. You are over dramatic, controlling. Then leave. Nope. Okay, people who owe me an apology. So we're gonna start with the very obvious one. We're not gonna say any names, but it rhymes with Reap Mumber. Reap Mumber Reds. Reap Mumber Reds. You owe me and my husband an apology and my mother in law. Yes. She will get you. Yeah, she will get you. My money bucker, I will be every attorney in the state and you will be sorry. I will sue. I'm a business professional. And I've done business for years and years. And you suck. It's your job. She said that. She said suck. She said suck. my God. Judy. Judy Judy. for those that couldn't guess. I had to drop the AF bomb. these people that delivered our beds. Reap mumber. very expensive bed. They broke our porch light, didn't set our bed up correctly. They set the left side up but it didn't set the right side up. Yeah, my husband was sleeping in a hole for While while my wife was like, this reap number red is great. my gosh, it works so well. And I'm like, Well, I'm in a hole. Well, turn your thing up. I've turned my thing up. It was a great Reap Rumber Reds, count your days. We got a new Reap Rubber. Because it's hooked up. And we're waiting on two new Reap Rumber Ultimate Pillows. Yeah, we're waiting. but they still need they still owe us an apology. Yes. Because it's been a horrible nightmare. Someone else that owes us an apology. yesterday the two grown men that came into my job and decided to leave me five dollars on an eighty dollar tab. Two grown men. Honey, tell the audience really quick what I do when you don't tip appropriately somewhere. She beats me. I beat him. One time in a Mexican restaurant, I screamed at him in the parking lot. We seen the waiter for like five seconds. Okay. The whole time we were there. Okay. Well, I was pretty upset and we definitely got into a huge argument. But that just, you know, honey, why are you wiping your eyes on the microphone? Please don't do that. It's me. I'm defeated. You're defeated? I'm defeated. honey. I'm going back to the gym on Wednesday at Sunstone. not today? Once you tell Royal you're going to the gym, you're going to the gym. Or he will come to your front door and put you in the truck. Yeah. Gym people, you cannot tell gym people you're going to the gym with them and then not show up. So that's how that's like canceling dinner reservations. The whole reason why I started doing the MMA cardio is because I was Playing at a bar and the owner of the bar said, Hey, I do MMA, you should go and Taylor screams, He needs anger management. He'll be there. I'm like, Yeah, I'll be there And then when it was time to go, I sit in the parking lot And then he pulled in and seen me so then I had to but you have a bad back and a blown bicep now. Yes. So so I don't think I think My back's better. Thanks to the Reprumber. Red. Actually my back hurts worse this morning. no it yeah, it I I don't think we set it up right last week. Now that the rebrumber is fixed, my back actually hurts. Defeated. Zoe. No. Zoe wants to be on the podcast. Let's name some people that owe my dog an apology. That's even more fun. the people that keep walking Their white dog in our yard, they owe us an apology. Yeah. They owe my screens an apology. Yeah, they owe my dog, myself, and my People that keep feeding the feral cats owes my dog apology. And my cat an apology. Because my cat should not be subjected to the harassment she gets from these perverted old males. Ghetto cats. Ghetto cats. Looking at her like a pork chop. She is a beautiful, voluptuous queen. Yep. And she doesn't deserve it. I love ASMR. my God. I am an ASMR girly. I don't care. Don't knock it till you try it, okay? If you ever have a night where you're stressing, this is before I was taking Lexapro, by the way. I'm medicated now. So the ASMR has, I have eased up on it. But before I got on Lexapro, I would wake up in the middle of the night and I would have. I was talking to my mom about this today, actually. Before I got on Lexapro, I would wake up in the middle of the night and I would have full-on. Panic attacks. I mean, I would think about life and death, mostly death, actually. I would think about a lot of death. But well, it was it was kind of terrifying. Why do you think when we were on that cruise ship, I couldn't go back to sleep? By the way, if anyone ever goes on a cruise and you've never been on a cruise, I will say it's either go on a cruise ship and don't have a window in your room or have a balcony because looking at a porthole and just seeing the ocean in the pitch black. When you already have anxiety and you wake up it in panic is not good. So don't do that. But I will say now, going back to what I was saying, I digress. I don't wake up in the middle of the night anymore like that since I got on Lexa Pro. But when I used to, ASMR was my bread and butter. I could fall asleep in it with headphones on and ASMR five minutes. I'd be asleep. I know. My husband makes fun of me because sometimes I won't have headphones and I just say, Deal with it, I'm gonna play this. And this is all I hear. Sweak the toy now. Here comes Zoe. Isn't that relaxing? Yeah, it's so relaxing. Listen, I actually I was like, what like I looked up ASMR one time when you first started listening to it. And I found actually a very respectable young lady that does ASMR, and she I have a few faves. My ASMR girl, she is something. Okay. She it's it's ASMR for for men. Because I figured if I was gonna see what this ASMR I do for men, well The whole time she was I imagine it probably doesn't show her face, huh? No. Huh? I bet you her face isn't in the ASMR. It's probably just like her chest down with her hands. But you'll hear like clink clink clink clink clink. And then all of a sudden you'll hear like on the side of the microphone should go It's just like it's just like it's I was like, Huh what? Why I don't even have a tool shape. Did you feel like you were cheating on me when you listened to it? She'd be like she'll be like, You did a great job, it worked. She's probably making a fortune. That girl has found a niche that And then she's like she's like, lay your head back and I'll rub your head. And then all you hear is this. my gosh. And I swear to God, you're like, my god, you're gonna love your hands. I feel like they're so good. I was gonna say I feel like it's very intimate. well my it was weird. Me I yeah, it was weird. 'Cause I hear your ASMRs where it's like just Yeah. You know. I listened to a girl her name's like Alexandria ASMR. Anyways, she does a lot of role play, but it's like mean girl in the bathroom does your makeup for five dollars. It's so specific. God, it just shows that if you put your mind to something, right? Like Why are you doing that? It's Mosquito ASMR. I sent it on TikTok. Okay. I also have another girl that I do. Her name's Josie ASMR and she does really big role plays. She dresses up as fairies and stuff and she takes you to like her fairy house and shows you all her fairy trinkets and taps on everything. It's very relaxing. And she's very glittery. So maybe you need to switch up your search. She just talked about grabbing tools and fixing stuff the whole time. Like that's man, I feel Arrested Yeah. That's must I mean, there's probably some lonely men out there that would love that. And some married men that love it too, I guess. That's that's for the married man that is deathly afraid of his wife and can't fix anything. And she's probably like, You loser. So he just turns to old Betsy at night and she's like, You did it. It's just like, I am somebody. I am. Yeah. So if you've learned anything from this ladies, start telling your man that he's doing a great job or he's gonna turn to ASMR for men. No, it's still gay. I don't like any of Gosh, it's okay. You know a lot about it to not like it. It seems like every time I use Timu, which I love Timu, not down in them, someone tries to steal my information. Yeah. which it's worth to take the risk. Yeah, you're like you're like, but you know what? Getting twenty five shirts for ten dollars. I mean I'm willing to I'm willing to I'll be it. My bank's good at that. I'm a known gambler. I'm a gambling woman. I get it. I love me some I mean, you have to read the reviews. Jason went online one year and he saw this remote control car thing like big one for kids and they were very trendy that year on TikTok. I he I come home from work and he's like look what I found for like thirty dollars. I just ordered it. I'm gonna get it next week. he was and he shows it to me and I'm like honey that is a hundred percent a scam. He never got it. What was it big remote car? It was a remote control car he was gonna get for Jalen, but in all fairness he spent $30 on it. So it was like $30 lost but he was very bummed and I was like well That's why we read reviews. All the reviews were like, never got horrible. Never again. I'm like, see? One read of the reviews and we would have known not to order this. Because maybe fucking you. One time Jason ordered me this Christmas nightgown and he was so excited to give it to me. I I may still have it. You better have that nightgown. If I showed you the picture, it was like a wine glass that looked sparkly like it had sequence on it and you know Jason was so cute yeah it was like yeah printed a a printed picture of like a of sparkly wine glass and it was like long sleeved it went all the way down I was like I love it you still better have that I wore it all the time he knew it wasn't cute he was like I know it's not cute I said I will wear it though and I loved it and I did wear it quite a bit actually because it wasn't The most uncomfortable thing. It wasn't super comfortable because again, it was from China or whatever, but it was all right. I mean, there's worse things I could have gotten. We need to teach Jason. I know. He just knows not to order things from online anymore without asking me if it's legit because he does get he gets roped into that quickly. But you're the type of person like if you could find anything out on the internet, I think. Like my sister, if you give her a name of a person She could find anything you want on this damn person. I don't know how she does it. I have a best friend in Florida. Her name is Liz. Shout out Liz again. I want to meet this Liz. You could tell her anything. I I could give her I could give her initials. I could give her three initials and like maybe a job they worked at when they were 14. And she'd like, I'll find them. That's how my sister is. Give me, give me 10 minutes. And she I don't know. And And I'm like, Do you pay for this? She's like, No. I'm like, girl, you're crazy. Yeah. She's but she knows she knows how to find it. I said, You really need to be like a private investigator. You would be so good at that. And I'm like, She's pulling up pictures, sending me all these people, like mugshots. She pulled up my mugshot. my god. My mugshot. I've never been arrested. I was arrested well, okay, that's a lie. I f when I was a minor, I don't know if that but I got arrested because I was in a McDonald's parking lot drinking those remember the 32 ounces of that's yes yes love those I was hanging out I'm pretty sure I just like smoked pot or something with my friends and yeah the cops pulled up and took me to the Jack Center. I was sixteen. That was one but that was and there was one time in the mill I was on the Air Force base in Florida and they were having like a party in one of the dorms and they kicked us out of the dorms and I was the one Dumbass that they asked if we were drinking and I told the truth and they were like the flight chiefs are coming up like, the flight chiefs! The flight chiefs. And I started crying or something. I lied. I was having home issues, but I like said like I was being abused. I don't remember. I I know that's terrible. Looking back now, I was saying whatever I could. I did that on a drug test from Walmart. I I tried everything. I tried everything with that lab man. I broke my wrist and I had a pee for him. And he he calls you before he calls anyone else. And he called me and told me he found THC in my system. And I was eighteen. And I'm like, Yeah, it must have been like those poppy seeds I ate this morning. And he's like, You have an enormous amount of THC. There's no lying, bitch. Yeah. I mean poppies eats I don't think poppies. I have no idea. I was reaching. I was reaching. I mean, sometimes you know you're wrong and you just have to swallow it and take it. Yeah. And I took it. Yeah. I mean, every time I got arrested, I deserved it. Well, back to the flight chief story. They let me go because the guy felt really bad for me because I was lying about getting beaten. He's like, this bitch deserves I don't even know if he but yeah, who knows? God bless her. I have gotten off so many things actually with crying and and if I'm being honest, the cry is real. Like I need to let it out. I'm obviously going through something and I let out a cry and it's ha worked for me every time. I just want to say that it's worked for me every time. I've gotten off every time when I cry and make them feel bad for me. It works every time. I start backwards. I if they don't like my titties, then I'll cry. But I always go for the titties first. See, I can't. Titties for ain't gonna work. Titties got me out of like a DUI before. So yeah, titties. Nope. And this cop, he had to be fucking dumb. Because I mean, I was going across the bridge. This was three in the morning. I just slammed three shots before I and I know that's bad. Three in the morning, slam three shots? Yes. Yeah. At a local bar though. The the flashlight was on my boobs. Yeah. And the whole time I was showing him my ID. He wasn't looking at my ID. He let me go. Well. But I knew I would start crying if it had to. Yeah, you have to. When all this fails, you cry. I do cry. This week's episode I'm calling the calm before the chaos. And I'm titling it that just because I feel like this episode would be a good time to talk about balance. Reason being, I am dealing with my own struggles of balance currently. When it comes to working, when it comes to trying to be perfect at something, because that is my work ethic. If I do something, I want to do it a hundred percent. I let it stress me out a lot, which is another reason why this podcast has been a bit of a learning curve because this is something that I'm doing as a creative outlet, right? This is something that I do to release steam, to relieve stress, not to add unnecessary weight to my shoulders. I want you to think of everything in your life that takes up any type of mental space as a cup of water. or you know, you could do a cup of orange juice to feel like orange juice. I I've been really stuck on root beer olipops lately, so that's what I'll have mine be. So, you know, you have all these glasses of liquid, all these cups of liquid, and you know, let's say one of your cups is your family, one of your cups is your spouse, one of your cups is your job, one of your cups is money. When you drink too much out of one cup, you're eventually going to deplete that cup before you have time to fill it back up. And you're still gonna be thirsty and you don't have anything left in that cup, you're gonna move on to another cup. So let's say you're drinking from your job cup every day and you're running out of liquid in your job cup, but you still need to go to work, you end up taking from your spouse cup to where now you can't give your all to your spouse because you have taken from that cup, and so on and so forth. And I like to look at it that way because that is why we need balance in our lives. If we do not implement any type of balance or boundaries, because I truly believe boundaries go hand in hand with balance, then we we're making life way harder on ourselves than it needs to be, right? You think because I'm talking about it, like I know everything, that I would be practicing what I preach. Do as I say, not as I do. This podcast has been so. New and so fun for me. Doing my very, very predictable Taylor Coker thing, I dove headfirst quickly into this podcast. And I wanted everything to be perfect. I obsessed over it. I spent hours and hours and hours. And I still spend hours and hours and hours editing. And I get lost in it, right? I mean, I, you know, when you're doing something you love, time gets away from you. My husband's used to me waking up early, making coffee, having breakfast ready. I'm making my husband sound spoiled, but I'm just using this for the sake of the episode. Now I'm getting up and I'm going outside and I'm editing for hours and hours, and he's going off to work and he's like, Are you gonna come hang out with me before I leave? And I'm just out there, you know, zoned in on this podcast, which again, I love it. I love it. It has been an amazing outlet. He agrees. So that is not the issue. The issue is I the issue is I need balance. I get very, very honed in to where I have been depleting from other cups along the way. I don't like to admit that, but it's we're we're human. Anyone, by the way, if anyone ever tells you that they have it figured out or that their life is perfectly balanced, guys, that is a crock of shit. No one has it together. We are all out here just winging it. And actually, I'm reading a book called Wingin' It. I'm not gonna sit here and say that I've read a million pages because I mean you just heard me tell you why. Because I'm trying to learn to balance. But there is a certain quote that I definitely it it it really just put thing a lot of things into perspective for me. The older you get, the more you realize that no one has a fucking clue what they're doing. Everyone is just winging it. Amen to that sister. Amen to that. Guys, no one has it together. No one has it figured out. Nobody. Anyone that's telling you they do is a liar. Anytime you see it online, post it about it. No, I don't know who they're trying to convince, but it ain't me. And now it ain't gonna be you because it is not realistic. We need to see more of that real and raw footage. Which is why I think the message of this podcast is so important because you see these people that live these lives online publicly for everybody to see. And they have assistants, people that run errands for them, people that do their grocery shopping for them, people that pick their kids up, they have nannies and pet sitters and live this glamorous life where it just seems like they have all the time in the world to do everything. And that's not real. That's not real because normal people like me and you don't have any of that. So we're out here just trying to cram everything the best we can, right? I recently found out that waking up a little bit earlier in the day does help me. I used to be the girl that woke up at 9 a.m. every morning and I just slowly started setting my alarm clock earlier and earlier. And I actually now wake up on my own most mornings at about six or six thirty. Some mornings earlier than that. The second I open my eyes, I make sure I get out of bed. And when your internal clock becomes programmed that way, it doesn't matter what time you go to bed. You go to bed at 11 p.m., 12 a.m. I act like I stay up late. I I go to bed probably about 10 p.m. most nights. I don't leave my house past five. If it's 5 p.m., do not text me. I am in for the night. I'm an old lady. Anyway, Spiral Squad, reasons I tell you this is because going forward, there's gonna be a little bit of a schedule change. Starting now, casually crashing out, we'll be dropping new episodes every other week. When I started this podcast, I wanted to see what felt sustainable while still giving you guys the best content possible. And after a few episodes, I've just realized I'd rather spend more time creating episodes that are hilarious. Have a good message and and worth your hour, then rush something just to hit a weekly deadline. This schedule gives me more time to line up co-hosts, create better content. And obviously the main goal of it is to create better balance because otherwise I'm setting myself up for future crash-outs, which I'm sure you guys would love to hear, but it's not that fun when it's at my expense. I do thank you guys for every listen, every share, every comment, every message. It genuinely means the world to me. And I can't wait to keep growing this little community with you. As always, remember, babes, just because you're casually crashing doesn't mean you're crashing alone. See you in two weeks. Same time, different chaos. We're casually crashing. Laughing while we're spiraling. We're casually crashing, we're fine until we're not.