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NEEDY SUBS, DIRTY SCENES AND MORE FUN IN THE DUNGEON.. · CALL ME MISTRESS

0:08
Hi, welcome to the latest episode of Call Me Mistress.
0:11
I'm your Hostess, Mistress Mia, and I've got my favorite person,
0:16
Madame Liv. Oh, I thought.
0:18
I had, I thought I had a guess, like it's me.
0:24
No, my husband's not here. But she'll do.
0:26
I'll do. He'll do it a pinch, you know.
0:30
I'm so totally grateful. All right, so you have a sexy
0:36
hot young guy who likes to come to see you totally cross
0:41
dressed. Tell everyone about this person
0:44
because he is just fucking adorable.
0:47
He is, he is, but we did a session.
0:50
He always comes in and he sees me.
0:53
He was like he he was so happy that he can finally become
0:56
himself like his his cross dressed self and be able to play
0:59
in his cross dressed. Attire.
1:01
Yeah, you know, and that's always fun.
1:03
I I enjoy, enjoy it, you know, because I'm partly gay.
1:06
So like. You love dressing a man up to be
1:10
a woman. I mean they.
1:11
Look like when they're hot as a woman.
1:13
Yes, yeah, sometimes. Would be creepy.
1:17
I like and. Sometimes it looks like.
1:19
How do I look? Yeah, he, he wanted to use his
1:28
straight jacket that he brought, and we used that at the end.
1:31
And I was thinking of so many ways I could use it, but I
1:33
eventually just said, well, I got his hands compromised, so
1:37
how could I control him whenever he's, you know, confined that
1:41
way? So I basically put the leash on
1:44
him and tied him to the roof and left the room, made myself some
1:47
coffee. I'm sitting there talking.
1:50
I was like, well, do you like coffee?
1:52
Just to make sure he's not, like, allergic to it, you know?
1:54
And I come back in, step on the stool and I spit it in his mouth
1:57
like a baby bird. Oh.
1:58
My God it. Was already.
2:00
I didn't. I wasn't expecting that.
2:03
Yeah. Well, yeah, that was that's how
2:05
it's supposed to be. Your house will know what's
2:07
going on. Right.
2:08
But yeah, that was fun. And then eventually I was like,
2:12
all right, I'm gonna go sit over there, masturbate and then grab
2:14
the little thing. And I was like, I gotta go over
2:16
there. And he was like, oh, I, I think
2:18
I messed up. And he starts humping his little
2:20
strap because there's like a little strap hanging down.
2:22
He's like rubbing his penis as much as he can on there, like.
2:25
Oh my God, it was. Fun.
2:27
It was fun. That's awesome.
2:29
He was getting frustrated. But to be fair, he's tied up to
2:32
the ceiling like this. He's got his arms back and then
2:35
he's like probably sweating like, you know, he's probably
2:38
like so uncomfortable. It was it was just hard for him.
2:42
They love that weird confinement though.
2:44
So you didn't see lives face? Because somebody wrote me and
2:49
said you 2 are so funny. I really want to see your
2:51
expressions when you're talking. But but Liv just demonstrated
2:57
like someone being hung, you know, I'm like, Oh my God.
3:01
Well. He was like being like he had.
3:03
It was chained to the ceiling by his neck, Yeah, but not by his
3:06
neck. It was by the the jacket that he
3:10
came. It had like a little spot for a
3:12
leash and I just tied that leash to the seal.
3:14
Straight jackets are awesome, aren't they?
3:16
I know, but this the first time I got these I was like, are you
3:18
gonna walk me through it? But I'm still the boss.
3:20
Okay, hard to still be the boss. I'm like I need help.
3:25
You know, I want they sell them their hospital grade straight
3:30
jackets. You know, they used to put
3:31
people in straight jackets and eventually they they went to
3:36
these these cuffs that were more humane.
3:38
But you know, for our you know, our little sluts, we need you.
3:42
Know we should still do you know like how we had this one guy
3:45
that wanted to be in the corner in the cage we could do that
3:49
with a straight jacket just tie him to the little thing that we
3:52
we put people on with all the lights and he can just watch
3:55
sessions for the day yes hey are you OK with that that one over
3:58
there? Yes, absolutely.
4:01
So Madame Liv needs a straight jacket.
4:04
Madame Liv needs a lot of things.
4:06
She does, but a straight jacket would help.
4:09
It would be. It would be nice.
4:10
It'd be. Fun.
4:11
It'd be nice. They're very expensive, but
4:13
they're a lot of fun. I need.
4:14
A slave. You get all these slaves.
4:15
Where's mine? I know.
4:17
Everybody. Nobody's asking to be my.
4:18
Slave. Well, let me tell you about
4:20
these slaves. Since you're talking about this
4:22
here, we're going to talk about your loyalty and then I get some
4:25
shit bags. OK, to be fair, yeah, that's
4:27
right. Yes, yes.
4:29
So I have this one, this one. Oh boy.
4:32
And he could be the brother of my spouse.
4:35
You know, if my spouse had a brother.
4:39
This guy is fucking adorable. He's all of maybe 130 lbs and
4:45
he's adorable. He's got some hairy titties
4:48
though, once he takes his shirt off.
4:50
If you don't shave for me, you and I are both like.
4:53
It's like just a ring around it's nipple, like it's just like
4:56
that's the only hair on your body is your nipple.
4:58
That's so weird. It's like screaming be a
5:03
crossdresser because you look really gay.
5:11
But you know, he loves to cross dress.
5:13
He loves to come and get in a maze uniform and clean my house.
5:17
Well, he's all fucking talk about it.
5:19
Bottom line, he doesn't want anyone here, which never fucking
5:23
happens. And he doesn't want to know that
5:27
my, that I'm engaged with other people like, you know, that,
5:33
hey, I see other people, you know?
5:35
Like that we do the dungeon. Yeah, like we see people in the
5:39
dungeon don't. Talk about it.
5:41
OK. Oh, man, I mean, sometimes, but
5:43
if I especially if I have a person that comes in multiple
5:45
times, I'll start telling them about, hey, my last person that
5:48
came in was such and such and such and such.
5:50
Just because, you know, let them know what's going on.
5:52
And sometimes it's a funny story.
5:53
They laugh. Exactly.
5:56
I think that he doesn't want to think of himself as needing this
6:00
therapy. He doesn't want to think that,
6:04
you know, he's had issues with his mother and father growing
6:07
up, but he wants his whole black male scenario like he wants me.
6:14
He gave me all his information. Oh, blackmail, I thought you
6:17
meant black. No male.
6:19
No, he doesn't want a black man. I know we've learned that
6:25
before, Mistress. I want to BBC.
6:27
No, he doesn't. Want to BBC?
6:28
I get a lot of people and I want this.
6:30
Yeah, no, he doesn't want to BBC, he wants to be blackmailed.
6:38
So he gave me all this information where he works,
6:41
where he lives, his mother's name, his Facebook, his mother's
6:46
Facebook, his every fucking body.
6:50
So all it would take would be a couple of phone calls, send them
6:54
over the pictures. And that'd be it.
6:58
And you know, he told me he's like, well, that's the way you
6:59
can break me. I'm like, look, that's not going
7:02
to break you. What's going to happen is your
7:05
parents are one going to be like hey Michael, you need therapy or
7:11
two this is sick shit. I can't believe you want to
7:15
fucking dress up like this for this woman.
7:17
What the fuck is wrong with? You.
7:18
I know. And then eventually they'll say,
7:20
never mind, you know what? You do your life right.
7:24
Yeah. OK, and what's the third option?
7:27
You know, eventually they they might even ignore it.
7:29
They might not even believe me. They might think that I
7:32
photoshopped his pictures. You know, you know what I'm
7:36
saying? You just never know what people
7:38
would think. But ultimately I told him I'm
7:40
like, look, once we tell them, you know, I could make a group
7:45
chat on Facebook with a fake Facebook account.
7:49
I could write all the peoples on your Facebook, including your
7:53
parents and your siblings, and tell them all how you are, you
7:58
know? But he's a pain in my ass
8:01
because when he does, he'll come here for his medicine.
8:04
This is what Charles always says, medicine.
8:07
But he'll come here, he'll rub my feet, tells me that he's
8:11
going to be committed. He's going to be a good little
8:13
slave boy. And what does he do once he has
8:17
his little orgasm and he does whatever he wants to do for the
8:21
session, then I don't see or hear from him for 3-4 months.
8:26
Yeah, Yeah. And in this process of knowing
8:30
him, I've known him four or five years now, and he's been in
8:35
several failed relationships, you know, so he's not happy.
8:41
And so when he comes here, he talks about being in a committed
8:44
slave relationship. I sent him home with a chastity
8:47
device. I've done put it on him before.
8:49
I did. Oh, I did.
8:51
Oh, OK, I did. How do you get it off this It's.
8:53
A plastic 1 you can take and break a plastic 1 you can, you
8:56
can take bolt cutters. And you know the one that's
9:01
that's guaranteed that they can't like pull their Dick out,
9:05
you know, granted they could cut it with bolt cutters, but they
9:08
need a Prince Albert. They need a piercing that goes
9:12
through their head where you can have a chassis device, have a
9:16
device that's connected to that piercing.
9:19
Then they can't pull their Dick out of the cage, you know,
9:23
problem solved. But they can still get bolt
9:25
cutters. They can still change things
9:27
with that, you know, They can alter it enough they could
9:30
eventually get it off, you know? But my point of it is he is a
9:36
needy little fucking bitch who talks the talk for all of two
9:42
hours. And what happens in the end?
9:46
You know, he wants to text me out of the blue randomly, but
9:51
that's it. He's a little user.
9:54
Yeah. It's like, what can you do for
9:55
me? And that's what it's about.
9:57
But you have. Some that are really loyal.
9:59
Oh. God, yeah, that's just one.
10:01
I'm, I mean, I'm very appreciative of of others that
10:05
have been amazing. Trust me.
10:07
I was just trying to compare what you deal with in somebody
10:11
being so great and gracious to you and humble.
10:14
And then I deal with, you know, a certain little shit bag for
10:17
four years. God, my point of it is the more
10:22
people that you meet, you're going to see who the loyal
10:25
people are, and then you're going to see the ones that are
10:28
users and become little shit bags and they're naggers.
10:32
I have cute a few, yeah, but when they start feeling like a
10:35
user, I kind of cut them off you.
10:37
Yeah, you do. And, and sometimes I just want
10:43
to have that last shred that, you know, they're finally going
10:46
to cross that bridge and. If I can, I can see that they're
10:49
not going to do it. I don't want to waste my energy
10:51
on you. I know, I know.
10:53
I'm too nice sometimes. I am a little backwards.
10:58
It is a little backwards. It is, but I I just have a lot
11:01
of compassion sometimes and I can't break that.
11:05
But you met one of the guys who is a submissive.
11:09
He's not one of my slaves. Thank you Jesus, I do not want
11:12
him as a slave. I'm not the one that wants to be
11:14
your slave. No, not that one.
11:17
Not that one. The one you told me.
11:19
I never, ever want to see him again.
11:22
Oh, yes, When you and Naomi and I were in there and we dealt
11:27
with him, That is fucking Steve. I there's like every person I
11:33
meet that's named Steve. It's like you think you're going
11:38
to put a bad taste in my mouth. Yeah.
11:40
Steve. Yeah, Steve wrote me the other
11:43
day and he says, hey, I'm going to be in Daphne, can someone
11:49
come see me? So I guess we're mistresses on
11:51
wheels now that we. Well, like wait.
11:55
Come see you. Yeah, you don't.
11:57
Come to me, you Come to me. Thank you.
12:00
No thank. You.
12:01
No. Yes, it's only. 30 minutes more
12:05
just come. On I know it's the same
12:08
distance. Feeling just piss me off.
12:10
Yeah, trust me, it's the same message.
12:12
I wouldn't message him back. I didn't.
12:14
I didn't respond. Fuck you, Steve.
12:16
Yeah, and that's how he's in my phone.
12:18
It's fucking Steve. That's how he's in my phone.
12:22
And he's always like, do you have a minute?
12:24
Do you have a minute? Can we talk?
12:26
I don't want to talk. I'm done talking.
12:30
It's always like. Whiny.
12:31
It's. Very.
12:33
Very, very whiny. He's I don't, I've never met a
12:36
person that is as whiny as he was.
12:38
Never, never like he's like one of the people in the movies that
12:41
you're just like you're borderline When I like twit your
12:43
eye and they're just in there for like 4 minutes in the movie.
12:46
I'm we're in there for like 2 hours.
12:47
I'm like. To the listeners, he doesn't
12:50
want to do impact. He can't tolerate any type of
12:53
pain. He doesn't want to do.
12:54
Anything. He doesn't want to do anything.
12:56
He wants to narrow. He wants to push, tell you I
12:59
don't want did it, I don't want, I don't want did it just to tell
13:03
you exactly what he wants that he knows that we're not going to
13:06
do. Yeah.
13:07
Just so he thinks that that if I narrow it down, it's like
13:09
whenever a kid asked for Christmas, he asked for three
13:12
things. Yeah.
13:13
Because if they know they asked for those three things, they're
13:14
at least going to get one. Yeah.
13:16
Yeah. No, no, don't work that way.
13:22
No, that's a nasty ass, Steve. Nasty ass Steve God, and I've
13:27
known him for God fucking too long. 15 years. 15 years too
13:33
long. Round like some one person that
13:37
don't clean himself, but with a with a bidet, that's the only
13:41
way he cleans himself. Live.
13:42
I'm so nice though. That's not I don't look.
13:45
I am nice too, OK, I am, but I cannot tolerate disgusting or
13:51
rude people towards. No, I was like, I'm not rude to
13:53
you, why would you be that way towards me?
13:55
Well, he thought that Abby would want to come and see him because
13:58
he's staying in a nice hotel and that she would want to come out
14:03
time out of her day just to do it for fun.
14:05
Oh, so she wouldn't. Yeah.
14:07
OK. Yeah, and I said we.
14:10
Just want to hang out with you for fun.
14:11
Yeah, we want to hang out with. No, we don't see.
14:13
We don't like you people we've ever seen.
14:16
I don't want to hang out with you.
14:17
Yes, yes. And he wonders why his life is
14:22
the way it is. Honestly, God.
14:24
Bless headache. Secondhand headache from you.
14:27
I know, I know. You're stressed out by that one,
14:31
Yes. I'm not even talking to him.
14:32
I'm like as soon as I've seen his message on the phone I
14:35
immediately get a headache. Oh, my God.
14:37
And he's local. It's just like, oh God, please
14:39
leave me alone. OK, I've said enough.
14:43
But that still was fun that day that me, Steve and Naomi that we
14:47
did all that. Was fun.
14:47
It was fun. You know, all the bad stuff is
14:50
still fun because you have something to talk about.
14:52
Kind of get your mind going a little bit.
14:54
Yeah, you know, And you were good to him.
14:56
You did various things to him that he liked and it was
15:02
interesting, but you know, it's like, why does he think that we
15:07
want to do these other things that we don't even do normally?
15:12
You know, like I said, I have. Never special people.
15:18
Only I. Exactly.
15:20
I have never whipped my tits out for anybody, but we had an
15:24
adorable celebrity come in years ago.
15:28
Bri and I did the session. It was one of those things.
15:32
He's one of those guys I really, really like.
15:35
He's a cool guy, great actor, right?
15:38
Comes in and I, he told me he's like, I don't like humiliation
15:42
and degradation. I love trans women.
15:46
And he's like, I just want to play and have fun.
15:49
And I said absolutely, we can do it.
15:54
And we had the spank bench. And instead of going face
15:57
forward on the spank bench, face down, he went on a backwards.
16:02
He laid on his back, he put his legs up.
16:06
Bree was fucking him. I put my titties in his face.
16:10
I was playing with this Dick. It was a blast.
16:15
It was a great time. Those are one of those fine fun
16:18
moments in the dungeon. You know, friends, it was great.
16:22
But fuck me, fuck Steve. Yeah.
16:27
Steve and that naggy, whiny bullshit.
16:29
Yeah, like if you were a better like, human and a little bit
16:32
more submissive and less whiny, you would get more things that
16:36
you would actually want. But you don't get it when you
16:38
sit there cry about it. I know.
16:41
Why do women think, why do why do men think that women think
16:44
that they like that it's going to be OK?
16:47
He's like, please, I'm like, Oh my God, please pit somebody
16:51
punch him, Naomi, punch him. Please, Lip put something in his
16:56
mouth. Please shut him.
16:57
Oh, that's the other thing. He can't even take a fucking
16:59
ball gag in his mouth because he's got he's got a reflex to
17:03
it. He's got a fucking gag reflex,
17:06
but he's talked about sucking Dick.
17:07
He wants to. He's never done it ball.
17:09
Gag doesn't sit in your mouth where you're gagging.
17:11
No, it doesn't. But he's complaining.
17:14
It's complaining and he doesn't want to do.
17:16
It he doesn't want to do anything, yeah.
17:18
He only wants to do what he wants to do period.
17:20
I. Feel like you know what we need
17:21
to do if he ever comes back in and get a signed waiver on this
17:25
one. Blindfold him, ball gag him, and
17:28
do whatever the fuck we want. There you go.
17:31
Yeah, tie your hands up. I don't want to see nothing.
17:34
OK. Steve.
17:36
I like the way you think, all right.
17:39
Definitely don't want to hear his whiny mouth.
17:41
Oh God, no, Do is there somebody else we actually want to talk
17:45
about that we like we. Like I'll see.
17:49
Like the other ones like you said, you.
17:51
Have like 3 flavorites yeah. They are 4 flavors they.
17:55
Are flavorites because they I have some some people are
17:59
creeping up on my favorite list but I have 3 good favorites.
18:03
You too that come in, but I have not seen stinky feet in a while.
18:07
I know. Is he your third?
18:09
No, Oh, he's he's not. In your third, we don't talk.
18:13
Yeah, that's true. You really don't talk.
18:15
He doesn't. He's a very.
18:16
I mean, it's not, it's not as bad, you know, session, it's not
18:20
annoying, you know, it's just more like a, oh, I'm doing this,
18:24
you know, it's just like a like, it feels like a chore.
18:26
Yeah. And I'm OK with my chore because
18:28
I get, you know. But all your perks?
18:31
Yeah, I get perks from it, but it's just more like if we talk
18:36
more I guess. Yeah.
18:39
We're in there for three hours. You.
18:41
Think my favorites but I know but.
18:43
What do you like them though? Yeah, my favorites.
18:45
What do you tell him? I tell, well, when he gets
18:49
really into it, he wants me to basically say like, oh, I'm
18:53
going to be in this position and you're going to be stuck
18:55
smelling my feet while my boyfriend fucks me and all that
18:58
stuff. He just wants to be in the room
19:00
in his mind, thinking that I'm getting fucked by somebody.
19:03
Can't have nothing but my feet, Gotcha.
19:06
And he has to stick his face in my feet.
19:10
It just kind of like word play a little bit.
19:12
Yeah. Which kind of gets annoying
19:15
every three hours because like, there's so much you can say.
19:17
Because I was like, I got to think of things like be on top
19:20
of it. Sometimes I got some really good
19:21
things I just pull out my ass. But then I'm like, I don't know
19:24
what else to say, you know? Yeah, once a week for three
19:28
hours. Yeah, it's like, what do you
19:29
say? Because that's the fantasy that
19:31
he wants. I will come here and get the
19:34
fantasy, save up a little money. You know, you know when he comes
19:40
into the things that you can say to him is you're trapped.
19:47
You're trapped under my feet. You smell them, you taste them,
19:52
you can lick them. You can use all these little
19:55
adjectives and verbs describing he doesn't want to lick them.
19:59
What the fuck is wrong? With them, he doesn't really
20:00
lick them. Now when he licks them, it's
20:02
because they're not as stinky, but he wants them as stinky as
20:04
they can be, but he just wants to be forced to smell them.
20:07
OK, so no foot fungus in the mouth, I take it?
20:10
OK, no fun. But I have like, tied things
20:14
around his head and, like, held him to my feet, OK.
20:17
And he like, can I get air? I'm like, no.
20:21
You can talk, you're getting air, fucker.
20:23
Yeah, you can breathe. He wanted fresh air.
20:27
Fresh air. No, no, I do like sometimes
20:33
playing with it because I like coming up with things off the
20:35
bat like that. But sometimes he's not my
20:37
favorite, but he's not my not favorite.
20:39
Yeah, yeah. Yeah, and my favorites knew who
20:42
they are. Oh, they do know.
20:44
They do know. Who they are?
20:46
Yes, you got your coloring book, your crossdresser, and who's
20:51
your third? Now I feel bad because I forgot
20:55
but I know I have 1/3. He's another cross dresser
20:57
though I think, isn't he? Let's think.
21:00
Or spanking. No, because my spanking guy is.
21:03
Is the coloring book guy and he. What is the one I know isn't
21:07
he's been new. Yeah, he's a baby.
21:09
It's a baby. Oh yeah, the adult baby.
21:12
But I don't remember like like name or anything.
21:15
Yeah, I remember you talking about because we always get
21:17
stumped on that because we have so many different now adult
21:20
babies. Well I have like 3 or 4.
21:24
Yeah. Come in as an.
21:25
Adult baby and that's huge. Oh yeah, and that guy that come
21:29
in in a diaper and then his little maid's outfit.
21:32
But then I made him drink his urine.
21:34
Oh my God, yes. Because I tied his Dick to the
21:36
ceiling, just his Dick. And I told him I was like, you
21:39
can't wiggle it. Your Dick's going to get hurt.
21:41
He kept wiggling while I was spanking him so I tied to stick
21:44
to the ceiling and said alright and I like wiggle no more.
21:47
Oh my gosh. And then I got, I told him to
21:50
pee into the bucket. He's like, I can't, you know, he
21:53
asked me to pee. He's like, can I go pee?
21:54
And I was like, I put the bucket underneath his Wiener, his
21:58
Wiener underneath his. Yeah, his little Schnitzel, put
22:03
it under there. I was like, all right, there you
22:04
go. And he was like, I can't do it.
22:06
I was like, you said you got to pee and it'd be fine.
22:08
I'll just leave it there until you do.
22:09
And then finally he ended up doing it because I left him in
22:13
there and then come back and I just poured it all over his face
22:17
and made him. Drink it.
22:19
Wow. That wasn't that wasn't I was
22:23
mad at, I was mad at the world that day.
22:24
So he kind of got a lot of my anger.
22:26
Yeah, I'm sure he deserved it too.
22:28
He liked it. Oh yeah, he liked it.
22:31
He was like, I've never drank my pee before.
22:33
He was. He looked really eager.
22:35
I thought he had done it before. No, I thought never.
22:37
He wanted it. You know, in all the years I've
22:40
seen him, I've never made him drink his own urine.
22:44
Yeah, but that baby that I was talking about, he's not actually
22:46
a baby. He comes in with like regular
22:49
clothes that just says baby, all right?
22:51
Like it doesn't. He didn't dress up like a baby,
22:54
which I thought was totally like hard to get into because I like
22:58
when they dress up like little babies.
23:00
But just conversation wise I really like him.
23:03
Yeah, yeah. That conversation aspect makes
23:07
all the difference, honestly. Now, what I had said to you, I
23:11
said, yeah, I said that one guy who I said I put in the trunk.
23:15
We did the scene and we we did another scene at a different
23:20
time. But I did bondage.
23:22
I left him in the dungeon. But I turned a song on and I put
23:27
it on loop and it just kept repeating itself.
23:30
And he fucking hated it, but he loved it.
23:34
And that went on for three hours.
23:37
Like holy shit. And then coincidence.
23:41
The same guy, same guy that I had, yes, that was the guy that
23:44
got trapped. Yes, that's good.
23:46
Isn't that great? He's a little whiny bitch
23:47
though. He is a whiny bitch.
23:49
Yeah, OK, yeah, he is. But he's cool enough you can put
23:53
something in his mouth. Oh, yeah, he was the one.
23:56
He was. Gagging on a Dick ball gag.
23:59
OK, you said it. You said the words Dick ball
24:02
gag. So I'm going to tell you a
24:03
story. You ready?
24:06
OK, so one day he wanted to go out on the beach.
24:12
Now two different occasions we've gone and I've met him at a
24:16
beach. One day I met him at the Bluffs,
24:20
which is over there on Scenic, and it's down there where all
24:25
these guys go to get blowjobs and hand jobs.
24:29
And the city thought it would be better not to have a place for
24:33
these gay guys to go, so they cut down all the bamboo.
24:39
Well, they have. A Like a clubhouse in the middle
24:43
of the woods. Did you know that they.
24:43
Do yeah, I used. To go back there and fuck my
24:47
husband. Perfect.
24:49
I didn't know gay people are over there.
24:51
Yes. Screwing each other, probably
24:53
right next to us, yes. Cool.
24:54
Yes. So Brie and I went down there
24:57
one day and we are dressed like dominatrixes.
25:02
You know, she had on this black red corset.
25:06
She was like she dresses tight, like all of her clothes are real
25:09
tight and she was, she had five inch heels like.
25:14
In the sand, Yes. Oh my God.
25:16
Yeah, she was fucking. I was just wearing flat boots
25:19
like. Yeah.
25:20
But it was summer. It was fucking summer.
25:22
We're hot. Anywho, we go down and we kind
25:27
of get lost because it's a maze of fucking bamboo.
25:31
Anyway, we make it down and there's like one guy we pass on
25:34
a log and he's jacking his Dick. And then we go down further and
25:37
we finally hit the beach and there's a guy sitting there on
25:40
another log jacking his Dick. How?
25:42
How long ago was this? Wasn't, but maybe 5-6 years ago.
25:46
OK. Yeah, I've known this guy for
25:49
years. I've known him for 1213 years.
25:53
Anywho, so again, he's out on the beach, he's wearing a
25:57
fucking leotard and tat a Tutu. This is what he's known for his
26:02
Tutu, and he wears a little pair of white kids.
26:06
So he's out on the beach. Any man who wears fucking kids
26:09
wants a Dick in their mouth. What's a kid anyways?
26:12
A kid. KED are those little cute white
26:16
sneakers. I think you've told me about
26:18
this. Already told you about that
26:19
tennis shoes. OK, I'm actually going to
26:22
interview the guy who I saw and has seen a few times in the
26:28
dungeon. He has the KED fetish.
26:31
Remember when I said this and you're like, kid, what?
26:34
No KED? Yeah.
26:38
But yeah, we're going to interview him after the party
26:41
and I'm going to talk to him about his fetish and his kink
26:44
and everything and. And we're going to talk about
26:47
it, you know, when it started, you know, and everything.
26:49
And the first night I met him, I was like, darling, quit fooling
26:54
yourself. He was in college, he had a
26:56
girlfriend. I'm like, you want to be a
27:00
cheerleader because in your dressing is one you're cross
27:04
dressing. You're pretending to have this
27:06
girlfriend you really don't want to be with darling.
27:10
You are gay. And he's like, do you think,
27:15
Mistress? And of course, I'm sure he had
27:16
an erection at the time and he's playing with this Dick.
27:20
And I'm like, yes, yes, you really are gay.
27:23
You know, if you want to cross dress, you want things in your
27:27
ass. You're talking about sucking
27:29
black cock, you know, all these things combined and you wear
27:33
fucking head shoes all the time. That is not a straight man.
27:38
It's not, you know, I mean, there's there's straight men
27:42
that just want to suck Dick because they have daddy issues.
27:45
Let's face it, they have daddy issues, period.
27:48
It's OK. Straight man can suck a Dick.
27:51
Don't make him gay. They just want something in
27:54
their mouth. They think about that.
27:56
Pacifier. Yeah, I suck on your cock,
28:01
Daddy. I'll make it better, you know?
28:04
Oh, God, you know, it's subconscious.
28:08
But anyhow. So here he comes running on the
28:11
beach. Mistress, Mistress.
28:14
Oh my gosh. And I'm like, he's a gay man.
28:16
But again, this man, he Oh my God, finds the hottest fucking
28:22
models to date. Of course.
28:24
Yeah. Beards are usually the hot
28:26
woman. Yes, beautiful.
28:29
It's crazy. Anywho, so he's out there and
28:31
he's like Mr. said it, bring any condoms.
28:33
I said, well, that sounds like a personal problem.
28:36
You know, I'm the dominatrix. I'm not second cock.
28:39
I'm not going to bring condoms for myself.
28:42
You know, you're the one who wants to suck cock.
28:45
So he said yeah, you know, I put the ad out and blah, blah, blah.
28:48
And he's supposed to be here. He's going to come out in a red
28:51
ball cap and I'm thinking everyone I've seen works at
28:54
fucking Cox Cable. You know, Bellsouth, you know,
28:58
these guys are their lunch break.
28:59
They're horny. They want to come down to the
29:02
beach and get their rocks off, you know.
29:05
But any who the guy, he says, well, I didn't bring a condom
29:10
and I'm like, well, it is what it is.
29:12
You're still sucking Dick today. You know, I so you don't have to
29:16
swallow, but you can suck Dick. So anyway, here comes the guy in
29:20
the red ball cap and he's this sexy black man.
29:24
And I said, oh, hey, I'm Mistress Mia.
29:28
This is my my my friend. This is Miss Bree.
29:34
And this is my little slave whore today.
29:36
And he's my little cock sucker. And guys like, oh great, you
29:42
know, sounds great. And I said, yeah, get on over
29:46
here, little slut, and, you know, suck this big black cock
29:49
and, you know, we're on a beach. Like, we're on a beach.
29:55
There's a dude, you know, like not even 20 feet down on a log
30:00
jacking his Dick. I went over to him.
30:01
I say, hey, you, you want to come over here and watch?
30:04
He's like, I'll watch from here. You know, he was watching.
30:08
Anyway. Dudes started sucking his Dick
30:10
like a fucking dead straw, a limp straw, like, And it was
30:17
awful. I was.
30:19
Like like the the black guy couldn't get hard or the white
30:22
guy couldn't both. Maybe his mind just he was.
30:25
There's so much going on. The black guy was down like he
30:29
didn't have any issues. He was a regular bull.
30:32
He was good. Oh, so it wasn't the black guy
30:34
that was having trouble getting? No, no, he just said he's like,
30:38
Mistress, I hate to break it to you, but you cock sucker, he
30:40
don't know how to suck Dick. Oh, I see.
30:43
And I was like, look, you have one minute to improve on this.
30:48
And so he started, you know, slopping, you know, and not
30:52
doing a good job at it all anyway, slobbing the knob.
30:55
Terrible. I say, hey, Bree, get over here.
30:58
Show him how to suck Dick, please.
31:01
Bree's like, all right, So she starts sucking Dick.
31:04
You know, she going to town, You know, that's like a piece of
31:08
art. She's just, like, shoving it in
31:10
her mouth. She's making all swirls in her
31:12
mouth and doing all the kinky shit.
31:14
And this guy is like, oh, wow, yeah, I don't do it like that.
31:18
I'm like, this is how you do it. If you want to be a pro cock
31:21
sucker, this is how you do it. You know, you got this great
31:25
specimen in front of you. Do it.
31:28
And so we tried again. And finally the guy got hard.
31:31
And he's like, where you want me to come?
31:32
I said come on this little bastard's face.
31:35
And he's like, mistress, you know, whining again.
31:39
I said, no, it's in your face. I'm sorry you didn't bring
31:44
condoms. It's your fault, not mine.
31:46
So the guy come came on his face.
31:49
That's great. Thanks.
31:51
To join your lunch break, you know?
31:52
Yeah, but. There's a lot of things I can do
31:56
on lunch break Exactly. That's cool, he said.
31:59
It's the same person. It's the same person I put in
32:02
the trunk. Same person you may drink piss
32:04
the other day. Drink his own piss.
32:06
I know his whiny little voice then, whenever you say that.
32:09
Yes, he's like, please, Mistress, he just.
32:12
Wants to be forced to do it. That's why he's complaining.
32:14
Yes, he loves that shit. Yeah, he's the only one that
32:17
complaints in a whiny way on purpose.
32:19
It's not like Steve where he really doesn't want to do it.
32:22
Yes, he just likes to say it so that you.
32:25
Yes. Yeah, still annoying though, not
32:28
gonna lie. Yeah, cuz then you feel like
32:31
bad, you feel kind of dirty yourself like.
32:33
No, I could tell it it wasn't real.
32:35
Yeah. He wasn't being true to himself
32:37
when he was saying that. He didn't want it, and I could
32:39
tell. So I was like.
32:39
OK, yeah, sometimes I feel bad. I'm like, God, is that really
32:43
what they want? They're asking me, fuck it, I'm
32:47
going to do it. That's what they have to ask me
32:49
to do. I'll listen to the whine, but
32:52
eventually they're going to get a fucking Dick in their throat
32:54
anyway, so all right. Touch my uvula.
33:02
I love that RE needs to write a song for you on that.
33:08
That's great. You could be in the background
33:10
saying that. Yeah, of the song touch my body
33:14
like that's the that's the song I hear, but then I'm.
33:16
Touch my uvula. I love it.
33:21
That's awesome. OK, well you know we're going to
33:23
have a female rap artist at this next party, OK And we're going
33:29
to have DJ Tony T Cool. People need to check him out.
33:33
He is fucking awesome. They.
33:35
Just lay on the brush house teeth.
33:37
What about brushing teeth? Wash your ass.
33:40
Oh yeah, people who want to get laid, they need to wash your
33:42
ass. Brush, you say?
33:42
Oh, I'm going to tell you about that.
33:44
Regardless, just brush your teeth and wash your ass.
33:46
You don't have to be laid. Do that I know.
33:48
Let me tell you, SO11 couple that always comes to parties
33:53
that are fucking awesome. They're great people.
33:55
They always have gang bangs, they always have crazy sex,
33:59
great people. I'm going to introduce you super
34:01
nice people, really like them. They made a post and they were
34:04
just like, hey guys, you know, if you want to get played with,
34:08
all you got to do is come up to us.
34:10
We're happy to play with you. We'll have fun, you know?
34:15
And then he said something to the effect of he, he made like 1
34:20
little comment, I don't remember if it's like brush your teeth or
34:23
wash your hands or, or bathe or you know, I think it was one of
34:26
those just take a shower. That's what it was.
34:29
Just take a shower. Well, he's nice.
34:33
He's really nice to say. But a lot of men, some men don't
34:36
really know how to scrub their bodies so that every part is
34:40
clean and they need to shave everything besides their legs,
34:43
you know, their arms. But yeah, so I commented on
34:47
there and he deleted the whole thing he posted and then rewrote
34:52
it and said, yeah, I rewrote this because I didn't want it to
34:58
sound too aggressive or mean or something like that.
35:01
And I'm like, yeah, my rules are very aggressive and mean because
35:06
people sometimes don't really get the bigger picture of the
35:10
level of cleanliness they need to be.
35:12
You know, I mean, hell, even the Griswolds, you and I've talked
35:16
to them, you know, they would swing, They'd meet people.
35:20
I'm telling you straight up how many times they have encountered
35:25
a stinky butt hole, stinky vagina.
35:29
People who think they're bathed once they get out of the pool,
35:33
they think that that's good enough.
35:35
You know, chlorine's killing it. They don't kill that fucking
35:37
smell, you know what I'm saying? So a lot of people don't realize
35:41
there's certain level of, hey, let me use body wash, Let me
35:45
completely clean the inside of my asshole, my vagina.
35:49
Yeah. So anywho, anything else you
35:53
care to add to that? Because we've we've dealt with a
35:56
lot of. Brushing your teeth.
35:57
Such a big deal. That's on a normal.
36:00
If you're coming in, brush your teeth.
36:01
Yeah. So they're moaning in our face
36:04
with your stinky breath. Oh God, yeah, you've had that
36:07
the other day. Sorry.
36:09
Yeah is what it is, but just brush all teeth people.
36:13
Use a breath mint. Wash your ass.
36:16
Yes. You know all the all the norm,
36:19
all the norm. That should be the norm.
36:21
Should be the norm, yeah. If you're coming to the party
36:24
and where everybody's seeing you, I'm a point it out in front
36:27
of people. If y'all don't brush your teeth
36:28
and wash your ass. This is where mothers have
36:31
failed their children. Just saying.
36:33
Where in women not raising their children, their boys to bathe
36:39
and do things they need to be doing.
36:41
You know, just saying, I fucked this guy one time years ago.
36:49
He was just out of high school. He went to a frat party at
36:53
college. I'm 23 and I'm going to pick him
36:58
up from the hotel party that he went to after the frat house.
37:04
And my thing of it is he was staying in a hotel room, but he
37:07
didn't take a shower. And I went down to suck his Dick
37:11
and I smelled shit and I'm like, I can't do this, you need to go
37:14
take a shower. He got up from my bed and he
37:18
left a clump of poop. Yes way.
37:23
Oh my God. Yeah, yeah, 18 years old and I'm
37:27
like, your mother has failed you.
37:29
Yeah, that she. Has not taught you how to
37:32
properly bathe. Wow, Yeah, wow.
37:35
And the funniest thing my my childhood friend, we would
37:41
always compare notes when we were single, like, oh, who'd you
37:44
sleep with? She tells me.
37:46
She's like, you know, Mia, I gave this guy a second chance,
37:50
but same thing, exact same thing happened.
37:53
She went in to give him a blowjob.
37:55
She pushed through it. I'm like, you're fucking insane.
38:00
That's gross. That's gross.
38:01
Yeah, I got to love you to do that.
38:03
And I'm like, yeah, why would you do that to me?
38:06
Thank you. So Needless to say, she goes and
38:10
he gets up to leave to go do whatever.
38:13
He's got not to shower, clearly, But he gets up to leave and
38:16
there is a clump of shit on her bed.
38:18
Oh my God. And that happened to her twice.
38:21
I said, Rachel, you need to quit seeing him, honey.
38:24
He's not going to get any cleaner, I promise you.
38:27
Wow. Yeah.
38:28
Because the stomach hurt. People are like that.
38:32
Yeah. Like it's doesn't make sense.
38:34
It should be like. Just.
38:36
Head, shoulders, knees and toes. Butt hole coming up.
38:43
With limericks and little songs. Help the kids watch.
38:47
Oh. My God.
38:48
That's great. Oh Lord Jesus.
38:52
OK, on that note, Liv, you ready?
38:55
See. Y'all later on the birthday
38:57
party. Wait now?
38:58
No, this is coming out after the party.
39:01
Yeah, this will be after the party.
39:02
OK, well I hope we enjoyed you at the party.
39:04
I don't know. I'm sure we had a great party.
39:08
Yeah, so happy birthday to Dragonlings.
39:10
Shaman, Ruby, Ruby Red. All of them had birthdays this
39:15
month. Yeah, isn't that cool?
39:19
All right, so until then, Liv, this has been the latest.
39:21
Episode of Comedy Mistress.