Latest / The Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous Podcast / Catching Up with Sarah Herron

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Catching Up with Sarah Herron · The Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous Podcast

0:00
Speaker 1: Before we start an interview with Sarah, we just wanted
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Speaker 1: to let you guys know to warn you that the
0:05
Speaker 1: subject matter discussed will be a sensitive in nature, some
0:10
Speaker 1: of it pertaining to child loss and infertility.
0:15
Speaker 2: This is the Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous Podcast
0:18
Speaker 2: with iHeartRadio.
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Speaker 3: One of our favorite guests, somebody that comes back not
0:23
Speaker 3: enough but often, one of our favorite people who has
0:26
Speaker 3: some very excited things going on in her life. Sarah Haron. Hello,
0:30
Speaker 3: and welcome back to the Almost Famous Podcast.
0:32
Speaker 4: Hi guys, I know illo love catching up with you.
0:35
Speaker 1: Thanks for having me, Sarah, you have had a year
0:41
Speaker 1: that no one should ever have. I'm just so so
0:45
Speaker 1: sorry for everything you've gone through. I've been followed every
0:50
Speaker 1: into story that you've ever posted in the past life
0:52
Speaker 1: seven months. I have watched you are literally like the
0:56
Speaker 1: strongest person I could ever imagine. And I know that
1:01
Speaker 1: last I mean, just for anybody who's listening, who does
1:04
Speaker 1: it now? You lost your baby at about twenty weeks
1:08
Speaker 1: and I'm so sorry. I just I don't even want to, like,
1:10
Speaker 1: I know, I don't I don't think. I don't even
1:13
Speaker 1: want to go there.
1:14
Speaker 4: You know it's okay, I mean, it does just mean
1:17
Speaker 4: so much to talk to you, Ashley, because you have
1:20
Speaker 4: been so sweet and so kind through the whole the
1:25
Speaker 4: whole experience. I'm sorry, I'm very emotional. Apparently they hit
1:29
Speaker 4: nine am on a Monday morning, But yeah, I do
1:32
Speaker 4: just want to express my gratitude to you, Ashley, because no,
1:36
Speaker 4: you have like you've checked in, You've stayed in touch,
1:41
Speaker 4: and that's really all that someone needs when they go
1:44
Speaker 4: through this, you know, it's just to know that people
1:46
Speaker 4: are thinking of them.
1:47
Speaker 1: And oh my gosh, I'm always thinking about you. So
1:54
Speaker 1: I like, how willing are you to talk about Oliver
1:57
Speaker 1: right now?
1:58
Speaker 4: Oh, I'm mean, I love talking about Oliver and I'm
2:02
Speaker 4: happy to to share my story. You know, I haven't
2:06
Speaker 4: really had the chance to really talk about it too much.
2:11
Speaker 4: I've only really like publicly talked about our lost journey
2:16
Speaker 4: once so far, and I didn't even realize, like when
2:19
Speaker 4: I was doing I was like, oh, this is the
2:20
Speaker 4: first time I've really kind of, you know, publicly talked
2:23
Speaker 4: about it. And it's it's cathartic. And I also think
2:28
Speaker 4: it's a perspective of pregnancy and loss that many women
2:32
Speaker 4: unfortunately go through and feel very isolated. And so I mean, truly.
2:38
Speaker 4: I say it's the same way I've always been. I'm
2:41
Speaker 4: an open book and I just hope that like by
2:44
Speaker 4: talking about Oliver, I can spread his legacy and you know,
2:51
Speaker 4: and just help anyone else who hears like that they're
2:56
Speaker 4: they're not alone. And and unfortunately, like this happens more
3:01
Speaker 4: than we talk about. And yeah, I just want I
3:05
Speaker 4: want women to know that they're not alone. Welleah, Sorry,
3:10
Speaker 4: I don't know, I'm like coming in super emotionally charged.
3:15
Speaker 1: No, we love it and like you seriously, just you
3:17
Speaker 1: and Dylan getting through this together. Yeah, ess is a
3:22
Speaker 1: testament to how strong your relationship is. Yeah, because you
3:26
Speaker 1: hear about how baby loss it just a lot of
3:30
Speaker 1: the times drives the parents apart, and it seems to
3:33
Speaker 1: have bonded you guys. And now you just got married
3:35
Speaker 1: in the Grand Canyon a few weeks ago. It was
3:37
Speaker 1: a beautiful ceremony. It was so Sarah Herron. I could
3:41
Speaker 1: not imagine you to have a more you ceremony. And
3:45
Speaker 1: I mean that in like the most beautiful way.
3:47
Speaker 4: Yeah, totally, I know, And you're absolutely right, you know.
3:52
Speaker 3: It's it's interesting as I as I obviously have followed
3:55
Speaker 3: your story as well, Sarah, you know, you said something
3:57
Speaker 3: a second ago that sat with me for a second,
4:00
Speaker 3: took me back. You know, this is your year has
4:02
Speaker 3: been emotional in so many different ways. It seems like
4:08
Speaker 3: from an outside perspective that has great loss and some
4:13
Speaker 3: great joys and some you know, it just it feels
4:17
Speaker 3: like it has been, you know, a very hard year,
4:21
Speaker 3: because sometimes those two things combined make it a very
4:23
Speaker 3: difficult year when you're celebrating but you're also grieving. But
4:27
Speaker 3: you said something that said, you know, you haven't talked
4:30
Speaker 3: about it publicly only maybe once and then on your socials,
4:35
Speaker 3: you know, because I guess you can answer to why
4:39
Speaker 3: maybe you haven't talked about it publicly, maybe you haven't
4:41
Speaker 3: been given the platform or been asked the right questions.
4:45
Speaker 3: But within that then you said that so many this
4:49
Speaker 3: isn't uncommon. Other people go through it, and as a result,
4:52
Speaker 3: when they go through it, they feel incredibly alone, isolated.
4:57
Speaker 3: And so if you can speak to that, if you
4:59
Speaker 3: don't mind for or a second of that kind of
5:03
Speaker 3: starting with you know, the start of this year and
5:05
Speaker 3: that experience and what you want to tell to other
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Speaker 3: people who are going through this, and then we can
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Speaker 3: move on, maybe at the end to something that is
5:13
Speaker 3: a joy filled ceremony, something to celebrate.
5:15
Speaker 4: Yeah, totally, And I mean, Ben, you're you're absolutely right, Like,
5:20
Speaker 4: how do you how do you summarize a year that
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Speaker 4: has brought some of the best joys of my life
5:27
Speaker 4: and some of the hardest walks. I mean, it's the
5:30
Speaker 4: year that I got pregnant, and it's the year that
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Speaker 4: I got to experience pregnancy and I ultimately did deliver
5:38
Speaker 4: my son. Like, those are beautiful things, and then that
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Speaker 4: you're they're also laced with loss, and so it is
5:45
Speaker 4: the grief of that and navigating the grief of amazing
5:51
Speaker 4: experiences laced with grief is just it's the hardest walk
5:55
Speaker 4: that any parent will have to go through. And to
6:00
Speaker 4: answer your question, I mean, I really haven't spoken. I've
6:03
Speaker 4: written a ton about my loss, and actually writing about
6:06
Speaker 4: loss has been extremely helpful and cathartic and at times
6:10
Speaker 4: it just like flows out of me and I'm like,
6:12
Speaker 4: I don't know who wrote that, but writing has been
6:16
Speaker 4: a great outlet. But as far as like speaking or
6:20
Speaker 4: giving interviews, I just haven't really had the opportunity. I think,
6:24
Speaker 4: you know, out of respect and just bereavement, you know,
6:27
Speaker 4: no one came forward wanting to have me on the
6:30
Speaker 4: podcast or anything like that until recently, and I can
6:33
Speaker 4: completely understand why. So that's what I meant by you
6:37
Speaker 4: know that I hadn't really talked about it publicly. I
6:40
Speaker 4: hadn't really like used my own voice live to talk
6:43
Speaker 4: about my experience. But through everything, and prior to even
6:51
Speaker 4: becoming pregnant with all of our I was in this
6:56
Speaker 4: club of infertility, and anyone who has gone through fertility
7:01
Speaker 4: challenges knows that there's this kind of like untrademarked saying
7:06
Speaker 4: that it is the worst club with the best members.
7:09
Speaker 4: And I think, truly, like going through our loss, the
7:13
Speaker 4: only thing that really helped Dylan and I both survive
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Speaker 4: and get through it was community and connecting with other
7:23
Speaker 4: women who have gone through this, other parents, other dads.
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Speaker 4: There are so many great organizations out there that we
7:30
Speaker 4: have been put in touch with to help us just
7:34
Speaker 4: get through some of the hardest hurdles of this. And
7:38
Speaker 4: then you know, we worked with a grief counselor as well.
7:42
Speaker 4: And so I think, you know what I would love
7:46
Speaker 4: to convey to anyone listening who has experienced pregnancy loss
7:51
Speaker 4: or infant loss or I don't know if if you
7:55
Speaker 4: come back and listen to this podcast, if you experience
7:58
Speaker 4: it someday, is just that there are women who've gone
8:02
Speaker 4: through it who know how to walk this road, and
8:04
Speaker 4: you do not have to do it alone. I think
8:09
Speaker 4: infertility alone, we're still kind of destigmatizing infertility and we're
8:14
Speaker 4: still breaking down some of the shame around infertility, pregnancy, loss, miscarriage.
8:22
Speaker 4: But as we continue to move that needle forward and
8:25
Speaker 4: pull back the curtain on it, there's so much there's
8:30
Speaker 4: just so much connection and resources that can be shared
8:32
Speaker 4: between people. And like I said, it's just I've been
8:37
Speaker 4: connected to thousands of women now who are like I've
8:40
Speaker 4: been in your shoes. It might seem hard to believe
8:43
Speaker 4: right now, but joy does come back. It does not
8:48
Speaker 4: get easier, but it gets different and you'll regain strength.
8:54
Speaker 4: The most important part is to stay connected to your partner,
8:58
Speaker 4: seek support, get grief counseling if you have the means to,
9:03
Speaker 4: and I think, just like keep an open line of
9:06
Speaker 4: communication with your family and support team.
9:09
Speaker 1: Sarah, one thing that I don't know that you've broached
9:13
Speaker 1: on your social media is what exactly happened because you
9:17
Speaker 1: delivered oliver it wasn't a miscarriage. He was twenty weeks.
9:22
Speaker 4: He was, so he was twenty four weeks when I
9:25
Speaker 4: was four weeks. Yeah, twenty four and five days, so
9:29
Speaker 4: almost twenty five weeks. But he just you know, actually,
9:39
Speaker 4: I think that is kind of an area I'm not
9:41
Speaker 4: quite ready to talk about. Yeah, of course, but yeah,
9:46
Speaker 4: it was just unexpected and I was able to deliver
9:51
Speaker 4: him and he was He was alive for about twenty
9:56
Speaker 4: minutes with us, which was amazing, and we didn't expect
10:01
Speaker 4: him to survive birth, but we did have twenty minutes
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Speaker 4: with him and we both got to have skin to
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Speaker 4: skin contact with him, and you know, he was just
10:11
Speaker 4: right at that like viability cusp and unfortunately just didn't
10:18
Speaker 4: didn't his little heart couldn't couldn't survive it.
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Speaker 3: So yeah, there's a there's a few elements I would
10:29
Speaker 3: love to touch on here. One would be, if you're
10:34
Speaker 3: comfortable with it, and please only answer things you're comfortable with.
10:40
Speaker 3: What were those twenty minutes like? And then you obviously
10:45
Speaker 3: said earlier you want to spread his legacy and share
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Speaker 3: Oliver's legacy, so obviously that twenty minutes had a huge
10:51
Speaker 3: impact on the two of you, So what did you take?
10:56
Speaker 3: What are you taking from that?
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Speaker 4: Well, the twenty minutes spent with him, I mean it
11:01
Speaker 4: was surreal because my labor was very long, and so
11:05
Speaker 4: we were told, you know, because he because of his
11:08
Speaker 4: gestational age and how long the labor was progressing, that
11:13
Speaker 4: he could be potentially still born alive or he might
11:18
Speaker 4: pass during labor, and so we didn't really know what
11:22
Speaker 4: to expect, but we prepared ourselves for whichever outcome. And so,
11:29
Speaker 4: you know, it, just like I said, it was progressing
11:31
Speaker 4: very slowly. It took a very long time, and so
11:34
Speaker 4: when he was born, it just takes you, Like I
11:39
Speaker 4: just the best way I can describe it is like,
11:42
Speaker 4: I don't know, I felt kind of euphoric and kind
11:44
Speaker 4: of in a dream state, and you're I was scared, honestly,
11:50
Speaker 4: because you kind of get hit with this emotion of
11:53
Speaker 4: like you didn't know what to expect and now you
11:55
Speaker 4: have to kind of shift I don't know, just your perception.
11:59
Speaker 4: And so so immediately the nurses just like odd at
12:03
Speaker 4: him like he was such a perfect little angel, and
12:06
Speaker 4: immediately was his so long and looked a lot like Dylan,
12:11
Speaker 4: and they were just like, would you like you know,
12:13
Speaker 4: would you like to hold him skin to skin? And
12:15
Speaker 4: I said, of course, And they put him on my
12:18
Speaker 4: chest and he was so tiny and just making all
12:23
Speaker 4: the little baby noises that they do. And then I
12:27
Speaker 4: my instinct was just like, I want Dylan to hold him,
12:29
Speaker 4: like we don't know how long we have. I want
12:31
Speaker 4: Dylan to hold him now. And so he went to
12:35
Speaker 4: Dylan's chest, skin to skin, and he, you know, quietly
12:40
Speaker 4: just stopped breathing while Dylan was holding him. And we
12:45
Speaker 4: found a lot of like comfort and strength and knowing
12:49
Speaker 4: that he got to be held by his mother and
12:52
Speaker 4: experienced the unconditional love of his mother, and then he
12:54
Speaker 4: got to be held by his father and experience the
12:57
Speaker 4: ultimate form of protection and safety from his father, and
13:02
Speaker 4: kind of just a symbol that it was okay, he
13:04
Speaker 4: didn't need to be afraid, and that we were there
13:09
Speaker 4: to carry him through that journey for his little spirit.
13:12
Speaker 4: So it was a dream state for sure, and it
13:16
Speaker 4: went by in the blink of an eye. And and
13:20
Speaker 4: I just the nurses in that room were I can't
13:25
Speaker 4: describe them any other way besides just angels. I mean,
13:28
Speaker 4: they were so loving and doting on him and us,
13:32
Speaker 4: and it was remarkable.
13:45
Speaker 3: There is the second element that I wanted to touch
13:47
Speaker 3: on though, was obviously we're going to move in here
13:51
Speaker 3: to your recent wedding, and that's a very exciting time.
13:56
Speaker 3: It's kind of it's kind of the emotion that we
13:57
Speaker 3: talked about the goods and the hearts and the moments
14:02
Speaker 3: of life that are very probably confusing out imagining to
14:06
Speaker 3: try to walk through. But you and Dylan stayed connected
14:11
Speaker 3: through this, and as Ashley mentioned, it is not unknown
14:15
Speaker 3: that these really hard situations can oftentimes pull couples apart,
14:20
Speaker 3: but you guys stay connected and leading up to a
14:22
Speaker 3: wedding for myself who's married, for Ashley, who is married,
14:27
Speaker 3: for you who's married, for listeners who are in relationships,
14:31
Speaker 3: what are some of the things that you could teach
14:34
Speaker 3: us about that season of life on what why you
14:39
Speaker 3: stay connected, Why you grew stronger, Maybe you didn't grow stronger,
14:44
Speaker 3: and maybe that's something you need to be honest about.
14:45
Speaker 3: I don't know, but like, just walk us through that season.
14:48
Speaker 4: Yeah, of course.
14:51
Speaker 2: So when.
14:53
Speaker 4: We I don't remember exactly who made their recommendation, but
14:56
Speaker 4: they were like, I highly recommend you seek a grief
14:59
Speaker 4: specific counselor because I've been in therapy weekly for the
15:03
Speaker 4: last four years. Obviously, we continued that Dylan and I
15:06
Speaker 4: both got in to see my therapist, but someone said
15:09
Speaker 4: to work with a grief specific counselor would be really
15:12
Speaker 4: helpful because they can help parents couples navigate loss. Because ultimately,
15:20
Speaker 4: what I learned is men and women experience grief very differently.
15:25
Speaker 4: I mean, I think both you, Ashley and Ben can
15:28
Speaker 4: probably attest to this, that grief has just handled differently.
15:32
Speaker 4: Men have sometimes a better ability to compartmentalize or get
15:38
Speaker 4: busy and kind of move on a little bit faster,
15:41
Speaker 4: whereas the birth mother or the gestational mother it takes
15:46
Speaker 4: so much longer. I mean, you had a baby that
15:51
Speaker 4: you no longer have. There's the physical component, there's the
15:53
Speaker 4: emotional component. And so yes, couples going through in loss,
16:00
Speaker 4: child loss, or any any type of grief or loss
16:05
Speaker 4: run a risk of it either making or breaking the
16:08
Speaker 4: relationship or certainly putting an insurmountable amount of strain on
16:13
Speaker 4: the relationship. And so for Dylan and I it has
16:18
Speaker 4: brought us closer, and you know, it's it's unfortunate that
16:22
Speaker 4: we had to have this experience that made us so connected,
16:26
Speaker 4: but It really taught us our communication styles, It taught
16:31
Speaker 4: us how we grieve, how to respect each other's grief
16:35
Speaker 4: and mourning processes, and it just reinforced that, like we're
16:41
Speaker 4: in this together. So yeah, I don't know. It's like
16:48
Speaker 4: I think, to go back to Oliver's legacy, like, I
16:51
Speaker 4: truly believe his soul had big, big purpose, and even
16:56
Speaker 4: though his life was so short, I think he had
17:01
Speaker 4: a job. And part of that job might have been
17:04
Speaker 4: to connect Dylan and I deeper. It might have been
17:08
Speaker 4: to walk this path so that we can know how
17:11
Speaker 4: to help others. You know, I think Oliver continues to
17:15
Speaker 4: teach us things that we benefit from every single day.
17:19
Speaker 4: And I mean it's a horrible lesson of course that
17:23
Speaker 4: no one wishes. But yeah, I've just I try to
17:27
Speaker 4: see what Oliver has taught me through all of this.
17:30
Speaker 1: So you guys were engaged before you conceived Oliver. Yes,
17:35
Speaker 1: what were the wedding plans before this year? Were you
17:39
Speaker 1: planning on having a full wedding or was it always
17:43
Speaker 1: sort of an envelopement idea.
17:45
Speaker 4: The timeline to our wedding and just our whole relationship
17:49
Speaker 4: has been a little untraditional because we got engaged and
17:54
Speaker 4: then started IVF immediately because it was during COVID, like
17:57
Speaker 4: we realized we really wanted to have kids, but we
17:59
Speaker 4: weren't married yet and we had started trying to conceive
18:02
Speaker 4: naturally and it wasn't working. So we got started doing
18:06
Speaker 4: IVF like literally the same time that we got engaged.
18:10
Speaker 4: And then because I was going through treatments and then
18:13
Speaker 4: I got pregnant, I was always like, I don't want
18:15
Speaker 4: to plan a big wedding because I don't know what's
18:17
Speaker 4: gonna happen. I don't I don't know if we're going
18:20
Speaker 4: to have a wedding in Mexico, and then I won't
18:22
Speaker 4: be able to go because I'm pregnant whatever, right, So
18:24
Speaker 4: everything just kind of kept getting postponed. And then after
18:28
Speaker 4: losing Oliver, we were kind of like, I don't know
18:32
Speaker 4: your your perspectives and certainly your like appreciation for things change,
18:41
Speaker 4: and so a priority of like having a big wedding
18:45
Speaker 4: just wasn't important to us anymore. We wanted to have
18:48
Speaker 4: a commitment ceremony, We wanted to have our closest friends
18:52
Speaker 4: and family there, but like, I couldn't get motivated to
18:55
Speaker 4: plan a wedding. I couldn't get inspired. I would look
18:58
Speaker 4: at wedding dresses and I wasn't even into anything, and
19:01
Speaker 4: so we were like, you know what, maybe we should
19:03
Speaker 4: just elope. And then about three months ago we got
19:06
Speaker 4: invited on this trip. Well it was we want to
19:10
Speaker 4: permit to host a trip down the Grand Canyon, and
19:13
Speaker 4: we were like, maybe this could be a cool adventure
19:16
Speaker 4: elopement style.
19:18
Speaker 1: Wedding.
19:19
Speaker 4: I can just buy like a cheapy dress online and
19:22
Speaker 4: like a veil on Amazon, and we'll just say some
19:25
Speaker 4: vows and that'll be it. Like it'll be epic and
19:29
Speaker 4: low budget and we don't have to worry about trying
19:32
Speaker 4: to get family in town or like, you know, just
19:34
Speaker 4: all the logistics of it. And so we came up
19:38
Speaker 4: with that plan literally like two weeks before, and I
19:41
Speaker 4: called my parents and I was like, would you be
19:44
Speaker 4: sad if we do this and you're not there? And
19:47
Speaker 4: my mom was just like, oh no, do it, just
19:49
Speaker 4: go I think you need to do it. Just do it.
19:51
Speaker 4: And it all turned out like magically, it was like
19:54
Speaker 4: so perfectly us.
19:56
Speaker 3: Well, so the wedding ceremony was at mile seventy five
20:00
Speaker 3: Colorado River. Yeah, was that just random? Or is that
20:03
Speaker 3: a spot that has meaning to you.
20:05
Speaker 4: No, So okay, when you're when you go on a
20:08
Speaker 4: rafting trip down the Grand Canyon, it's two hundred and
20:10
Speaker 4: twenty five miles and you have to complete that in
20:14
Speaker 4: about sixteen days. So before going into the trip, your
20:18
Speaker 4: raft guides or whoever's you know, leading the trip, we'll
20:21
Speaker 4: have to kind of assess that we need to do
20:23
Speaker 4: twenty miles a day, fifteen miles a day, whatever, and
20:25
Speaker 4: you map out your days. So we knew we're going
20:30
Speaker 4: to be camping at this particular beautiful camp with epic
20:34
Speaker 4: views and ledges that we could you know, like it
20:37
Speaker 4: would be perfect, and it's not so far into the
20:41
Speaker 4: trip that something might happen. We might get bad weather,
20:44
Speaker 4: like all the variables that could have you know, swayed
20:48
Speaker 4: us away from actually going through with it. So we
20:50
Speaker 4: just decided day of We're like, we're at this campsite,
20:53
Speaker 4: it's beautiful, we don't know what lies ahead of us,
20:56
Speaker 4: bad weather could come, let's just do it. And it
21:00
Speaker 4: was just totally spontaneous, so like I had never seen
21:02
Speaker 4: a photo of the campsite or anything. We just decided
21:06
Speaker 4: to pull the trigger.
21:08
Speaker 3: So I've done some rafting trips in my life. You
21:12
Speaker 3: just said you were guiding a trip. I'm assuming you
21:14
Speaker 3: had other participants with you, right, yeah, just the two
21:17
Speaker 3: of you. What were I mean most of the time
21:20
Speaker 3: you're strangers. When you walk down to the river together
21:24
Speaker 3: and the jumble these boats, what were they thinking when
21:26
Speaker 3: you were like, Hey, we're getting married today.
21:29
Speaker 4: Yeah. So this was our river permit, which means we
21:34
Speaker 4: invited sixteen of our best river friends, and so we
21:42
Speaker 4: knew everyone, but we didn't They didn't know what we
21:44
Speaker 4: were planning to do until the trip, and we were like, hey,
21:46
Speaker 4: we think we're going to get or not engaged. We
21:49
Speaker 4: think we're going to Elope if we find a good camp.
21:52
Speaker 4: And then that just, you know, made everyone else so
21:55
Speaker 4: excited that it just elevated the energy and we're like, okay,
21:58
Speaker 4: So we were all kind of scared outing for the
22:00
Speaker 4: first four days, like this would be a good camp,
22:02
Speaker 4: this would be a great ledge or lookover, and everyone
22:07
Speaker 4: was super supportive.
22:19
Speaker 1: Sarah, I see your dog behind you, and I know
22:22
Speaker 1: we're backtracking conversation a little bit, but I can't help
22:25
Speaker 1: to ask if you could tell everybody what he has
22:29
Speaker 1: been for you as a comfort over the past seven
22:32
Speaker 1: eight months.
22:32
Speaker 4: Yea, yes, yes, Rio, my love, my witness He's like
22:39
Speaker 4: my soulmate, I swear Rio. Yeah, I don't know. They
22:45
Speaker 4: say when you go through grief, like you just need
22:47
Speaker 4: to have your grief witnessed. It means like someone who
22:51
Speaker 4: isn't going to try to point out the silver linings
22:53
Speaker 4: of it, someone who isn't going to try to minimize
22:55
Speaker 4: it or make it something that it isn't, but someone
22:58
Speaker 4: to just sit with you in the pain and witness
23:02
Speaker 4: the magnitude of your suffering. And I think that was
23:06
Speaker 4: my dog because he sat with me every single day,
23:10
Speaker 4: and you know, obviously leading up when I was pregnant,
23:13
Speaker 4: he would sit on my lap and sit on my belly.
23:16
Speaker 4: And when I lost Oliver, he didn't skip a beat.
23:20
Speaker 4: And he is attached to my hip and it's probably
23:23
Speaker 4: a little bit unhealthy the relationship we have now, but
23:27
Speaker 4: he's just he's my everything. I'm obsessed with this dog,
23:30
Speaker 4: and so being away from him on the Grand Canyon
23:32
Speaker 4: for three weeks was like the hardest thing I've ever done.
23:37
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think, you know, it's funny, just a little tangent.
23:43
Speaker 3: This morning, in my daily devotional, the title of it
23:47
Speaker 3: was Mirored Suffering leads to compassion, and I think that's
23:50
Speaker 3: exactly what you're speaking about. Yeah, you know, having your
23:53
Speaker 3: witness and then having people rally around you. As we
23:57
Speaker 3: kind of close up here, Obviously there is now this
24:01
Speaker 3: thing that you've entered into marriage, and obviously, as we said,
24:06
Speaker 3: this year has been a wild year for you, one
24:09
Speaker 3: that I can't put words too, but one that you
24:12
Speaker 3: know obviously has been a year and it feels very
24:16
Speaker 3: much like life has hit you in the face. So
24:22
Speaker 3: as you enter into marriage now with Dylan, is there
24:25
Speaker 3: anything you're scared of? I was scared entering in the
24:28
Speaker 3: marriage personally. I was like, I don't know what kind
24:30
Speaker 3: of husband I'm going to be. I don't know how
24:32
Speaker 3: we're going to get through difficult times. I don't know
24:35
Speaker 3: how she loads the dishwasher or how I the dishwasher
24:38
Speaker 3: and what's really gonna piss each other off? But obviously
24:42
Speaker 3: your year has been a year, and so now you're married,
24:44
Speaker 3: entering into this commitment. Is there anything you're nervous about
24:48
Speaker 3: or how do you feel personally?
24:50
Speaker 4: Oh, that's a really great question. I obviously know how
24:55
Speaker 4: we'll get through difficult times together now, which I think, Yeah,
25:00
Speaker 4: I mean, anything could happen. But I'm not really afraid
25:04
Speaker 4: of anything in terms of marriage, Like I have never
25:08
Speaker 4: felt so good about a life partner. I love Dylan
25:13
Speaker 4: so much. I know he loves me so much. I
25:17
Speaker 4: think the biggest thing that going through what we've gone
25:20
Speaker 4: through now is and it's still fresh, right, Like our
25:24
Speaker 4: loss was only eight months ago, and so this will
25:29
Speaker 4: be forever with us probably, But I think it's the
25:32
Speaker 4: fear of more loss. It's the fear of losing each other.
25:35
Speaker 4: And when you go through something like this, it I
25:40
Speaker 4: actually just shared a video on Instagram this amazing poem
25:44
Speaker 4: that was written by a young woman who obviously has
25:47
Speaker 4: experienced loss. But it kind of teaches you that everyone
25:51
Speaker 4: and everything around you is impermanent. And so I think
25:56
Speaker 4: that's like just my biggest fear now is this is
26:00
Speaker 4: this is life is short, and it's impermanent, and just
26:04
Speaker 4: how to like savor every day together. And so I
26:07
Speaker 4: think Dylan and I just try to. You know, we're
26:09
Speaker 4: not big into material things. We're more into experiences and
26:13
Speaker 4: creating memories together, and I just I just look forward
26:18
Speaker 4: to like maximizing our life experiences together. But not a
26:23
Speaker 4: lot of fear. He already sucks it loading the dishwasher,
26:26
Speaker 4: so I know that's like past us.
26:30
Speaker 1: Another thing you're entering in on right now is another
26:34
Speaker 1: round of IVF. You announced this yesterday on your Instagram
26:39
Speaker 1: and you said that the first one you kept secret.
26:43
Speaker 1: Does that mean that you have recently undergone one?
26:46
Speaker 4: Yeah, I went through one. We had an embryo transfer
26:49
Speaker 4: in June that was not successful. So we did keep
26:56
Speaker 4: that one private because you were like, let's just try
26:58
Speaker 4: and see what it feels like like to keep something
27:01
Speaker 4: of our lives private for once. And I'm sure you
27:05
Speaker 4: know you guys can relate, like sometimes you just want
27:08
Speaker 4: to keep some things closer that don't need to be
27:12
Speaker 4: shared every inch of the mile, and so we kept
27:15
Speaker 4: that one private. But again going back to the community component,
27:20
Speaker 4: it was like I felt then that when the embryo
27:26
Speaker 4: transfer didn't succeed, it was kind of like, well, you know,
27:29
Speaker 4: it really made me realize how much I appreciate the
27:32
Speaker 4: collective support from people who are coming along on this
27:36
Speaker 4: journey with me. And I don't know about you, guys,
27:39
Speaker 4: but I love I love all of my followers and
27:42
Speaker 4: everyone that engages with me, and I truly feel even
27:46
Speaker 4: though we have maybe never met in person, sometimes like
27:50
Speaker 4: we're in it together. And so going into this embryo transfer,
27:53
Speaker 4: I was like, I want to feel the collective support.
27:56
Speaker 4: I want, you know, the collective prayers and good energy
28:00
Speaker 4: and thoughts, and I want to be able to provide
28:02
Speaker 4: that for people too. So for me, I'm like, Okay,
28:06
Speaker 4: come along, we're going. We're starting this again. And and
28:11
Speaker 4: I think it just helps keep positivity and morale high,
28:15
Speaker 4: you know, which you need when you go through something
28:17
Speaker 4: like this.
28:18
Speaker 3: Yeah, there is there's so much that we can learn
28:23
Speaker 3: from you, Sarah, so much we can learn from Dylan.
28:25
Speaker 3: And I'm very thankful that you have given us the time.
28:30
Speaker 3: Now here's the commitment that we need you to make.
28:32
Speaker 3: Though you got to come back, come back soon, and
28:36
Speaker 3: you got to keep this updated. I know, I mean,
28:39
Speaker 3: I don't know. I imagine doing this is like a little daunting,
28:44
Speaker 3: maybe a little very difficult. But we're thankful that you're
28:49
Speaker 3: using your voice because, as you said, as you speak
28:52
Speaker 3: openly about it, then other people will feel less alone,
28:54
Speaker 3: and that's something that's vitally important for us as humans.
28:59
Speaker 3: So thank you for using your voice for so many.
29:03
Speaker 3: Of course, hopefully at least one person listening can listen
29:06
Speaker 3: to this and be like, hey, I feel less alone,
29:08
Speaker 3: and then it's all yeah.
29:10
Speaker 1: Yeah, and Sarah, nobody is rooting for like you are
29:13
Speaker 1: the most rootable person right now. Like I love that
29:16
Speaker 1: you shared what you're entering into because I truly like
29:21
Speaker 1: am admitting positive energy towards you. And I know there's
29:25
Speaker 1: so many women out there who are thinking about you
29:27
Speaker 1: through this all, Like we're just rooting for you so hard.
29:30
Speaker 1: You're going to be the best mom one day, and
29:33
Speaker 1: we hope it happens now, but like we have faith
29:36
Speaker 1: that it'll it'll happen whatever way it's supposed to.
29:39
Speaker 4: Thanks, guys, And I know.
29:41
Speaker 1: You're already a mom.
29:42
Speaker 4: You are, Yeah, thank you, Thanks for saying that. And
29:45
Speaker 4: I just want to say, like I think part of why,
29:49
Speaker 4: you know, maybe I just like immediately broke down in
29:52
Speaker 4: tears at the beginning, is because it's it's also special
29:56
Speaker 4: to talk to you, you guys, like I know you
29:58
Speaker 4: both personally and I've known you've known me since before
30:03
Speaker 4: all of this, and so it's kind of sometimes like
30:06
Speaker 4: when you walk into a room and you see someone
30:09
Speaker 4: that you haven't seen in a long time, and you
30:10
Speaker 4: just like get overtaken by this wave of emotions, and
30:13
Speaker 4: I felt like safe with you guys, and I know
30:15
Speaker 4: you truly care and and so yeah, I don't know.
30:19
Speaker 4: It's like they're happy tears. They're authentic, and it means
30:22
Speaker 4: a lot to share with you guys, and to catch
30:26
Speaker 4: up with you and have you so invested in my life.
30:28
Speaker 4: I really appreciate it because I love you guys, and
30:30
Speaker 4: I've invested in your lives.
30:33
Speaker 3: Yeah, well you're teaching us a lot, Sarah, you always have,
30:37
Speaker 3: you know. As we close here, I do want to
30:39
Speaker 3: just give You've done so much good work in your
30:42
Speaker 3: life giving people accessibility to adventures and travels and you know,
30:50
Speaker 3: amazing things. Is that still a piece of your life.
30:53
Speaker 4: Yes, that's a great question. So there's been a bit
30:58
Speaker 4: of a pivot. If you're speaking directly about like my
31:01
Speaker 4: organization with she Lift that I was running a couple
31:03
Speaker 4: of years ago, we're not operating anymore. It's actually interesting
31:09
Speaker 4: because coming off the Grand Canyon, I was very like reinspired, Like,
31:14
Speaker 4: you know, accessibility in the outdoors is still something that
31:18
Speaker 4: I want to strive, you know, push for and advocate
31:21
Speaker 4: for and create experiences for people who might not otherwise
31:25
Speaker 4: get to experience them. So there's definitely still a pull
31:28
Speaker 4: on my heart to create that kind of work for people.
31:33
Speaker 4: IVF definitely kind of derailed all of that for the
31:36
Speaker 4: last couple of years, So I would say, I'm like
31:40
Speaker 4: doing that work from my heart and I'm still advocating
31:44
Speaker 4: for people to get out in the outdoors and experience
31:47
Speaker 4: it's benefits. But as far as having an organization right now.
31:51
Speaker 3: Not okay, current, well well yeah, I mean, but you're
31:55
Speaker 3: you're always involved in work. I mean that's a big update.
31:58
Speaker 3: Hopefully will be falling up with you on is kind
32:01
Speaker 3: of how you're being involved. I know this week one
32:04
Speaker 3: of my buddies, Brandon I won't say his lastname, evenough
32:07
Speaker 3: I don't think you'd care. He's paralyzed from the waist down,
32:11
Speaker 3: and he competed in the CrossFit games, right And if
32:15
Speaker 3: you want to see something impressive, you see a dude
32:18
Speaker 3: hang and do like fifty pull ups with like a
32:21
Speaker 3: wheelchair tight like that is just amazing. So that work,
32:28
Speaker 3: obviously you started it, it's still continuing. It's not like
32:31
Speaker 3: it just ends for you because now, well, yeah, because
32:35
Speaker 3: people have gone to the mountains and they've been able
32:37
Speaker 3: to ski or they've been able to do these height
32:39
Speaker 3: you know, do these things that they did with you,
32:41
Speaker 3: and then maybe that passion has continued within them. So yes,
32:44
Speaker 3: the organization might have paused or stopped, but the passion doesn't.
32:51
Speaker 3: There's always that ripple. Saren, you are somebody that brings
32:54
Speaker 3: a light to this world. We're thankful for you, thank
32:57
Speaker 3: you for coming on, thank you for sharing your story.
32:59
Speaker 3: Rooting you on as many are we always will be
33:03
Speaker 3: and uh please come back soon.
33:05
Speaker 1: Yeah, we love you so much. Signing off. Okay, I've
33:10
Speaker 1: been Ashley, I've been been.
33:14
Speaker 4: And I'm am Sarah.
33:16
Speaker 3: Is that you are? Sarah are works for us?
33:20
Speaker 2: Follow the Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous podcasts on
33:23
Speaker 2: iHeartRadio or subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts.