Latest / THE RCA MIX / How to Avoid Teacher Burnout and Enjoy the Work | Yolanda Boyd

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How to Avoid Teacher Burnout and Enjoy the Work | Yolanda Boyd · THE RCA MIX

• speaker-0: Some educators are even leaving. They're like, I can't take it anymore. I'm doing all the right things. I'm trying to do everything for everybody. And yet it's not even appreciated. Like it I and here I am suffering because of it. speaker-1: But I like to talk about reducing the cognitive overload. A prepared mind doesn't have to think as hard. speaker-0: What would you say is the difference between stress and really where it gets into that danger zone of burnout? speaker-1: So that's a excellent question that we all know. speaker-0: If you were to tell someone, protect your capacity, how would you explain that to individuals like like me who have not had that training? speaker-1: the normal things, which sounds simple, but it may not be speaker-0: Not when you're not when you're struggling, nothing simple. They're speaker-1: There you go. speaker-0: saying look, I'm not making a difference anymore because that child's still struggling or that child's still not accomplishing what it you know he or she needs to be accomplishing. speaker-1: You can't always be the hero in every child's story. Sometimes you just have to plant the seed. speaker-0: Welcome, I'm Kim Beardon and this is the RCA mix. Each episode I sit down with someone to talk about issues that really matter to us in schools, what we get right, what we sometimes miss, and actionable steps that we can take to be our best selves. And I am so excited about this week because there are so many educators out there who feel completely overwhelmed, overworked, and underappreciated. Matter of fact, in my forty one years as an educator, I cannot recall a time period when I have heard from more educators about They feel that they're not appreciated. They feel like maybe even they may even be quitting the profession. And this concerns me. And so I thought, who better to talk to about how to help those educators? Because if we have educators who are exhausted and overwhelmed, they're not gonna have what they need to be able to help those students. So today I have my dear friend Yolanda Boyd, and she is an incredible friend, but above and beyond that, she is an incredible genius when it comes to helping with mental health issues. Let me tell you a little bit about her. She is our school counselor here at the Ron Clark Academy. However, she is a board-certified master mental health coach. She is a certified trauma-informed coach. She is a transformational speaker. She speaks to schools, districts, but she helps with issues with parents, with students, with staff, with organizations, in everything from trauma-informed to mental health awareness to the neuroscience behind all of it, which I love. She's got her masters in counseling and life coaching. I can speak from first hand experience. She has come to the rescue of many a child, many a parent, many staff member here, just to be the very person we want to go to when we're struggling. And so welcome to the RCA mix, Yolanda. Excited. speaker-1: Thank you. speaker-0: I am so excited to have you here too. So Yolanda, before we even delve into some of the five key things that I know you're gonna share with us that we need to take to heart, I would love for us to first qualify really define when we say burnout because all of us are stressed and all of us have stress in our day to day lives. There's not a person on this planet who does not experience stress in some way. But what we really want to delve into today is burnout, where I don't know if I can keep doing this or even if I want to be in this profession anymore. You know, how would you really clarify what the difference is or how to recognize when it has become burnout? speaker-1: So stress is like is this is too much for me. Burnout is I have nothing left. Mm-hmm So it's it's a distinct difference. I have nothing left. And when we get to that point we need to recognize signs, which we'll talk about a little bit, and we need to know what what do we do? How do we recover? That's something that's gonna matter. speaker-0: What are some of the signs of someone who's completely burned out? speaker-1: So irritability, d just dread, numbness, we'll talk about it, being cynical. Just feeling like I'm done. I've I've lost the joy. I don't know why I'm here. speaker-0: And admittedly, there could be issues where sometimes it it may be time for an educator to leave where they are, maybe go to a new spot. Maybe that's a sign too to know that maybe this isn't the place for me anymore. But that may not be an option or even something you want to do. So I know that you talk often, you know, once we recognize, okay, this really is dangerous because it's it's burnout. Yes. How do we protect ourselves? I know you often use the expression your other key point, how do we protect our couple? Capacity. If you were to tell someone, protect your capacity, how would you explain that to individuals like like me who have not had that training? speaker-1: So protecting your capacity is my love language to myself. speaker-0: Okay. speaker-1: It is literally how I love on myself. You can't give what you don't have. So you have to protect that. So just some of the some of the key things. When you protect your capacity, start with, let's say, our bodies, right? The normal things, which sounds simple, but it may not be. speaker-0: Not when you're not when you're struggling. Nothing's simple when you're struggling. speaker-1: You go. So sleep, nutrition, hydration, movement. You know, you need to get outside. You need to do the vitamin D or get get the natural vitamin D. You need to get rest. When you rest, your brain has the opportunity to recover. Proper nutrition. You know, if you eat well, you feel better. Those things. That's how you kind of restore your body. But I like to talk about reducing the cognitive overload. A prepared mind doesn't have to think as hard. speaker-0: All right, I love this. Okay. So first of all, we because let's stop right there. First of all, we've all heard on many podcasts or just all throughout life, we should get sleep, we should stay hydrated, we should pr take care of ourselves, we should eat better food. All of those things we all know. And we all know this. And we know we feel better when we do it. Although sometimes it's hard to do it. Absolutely. Sometimes, you know, I I am a runner. I want to run every day, but there's some days I'm like, I don't even want to walk. to the mailbox. I you know, I don't have it in me. So we do know this. But I think the second part is something that might even be more powerful because it might be a new concept to people. And that is being prepared actually protects your capacity. So speak to that just a little bit more. Really give us some examples of what does that mean? speaker-1: Because a prepared brain has fewer decisions to make in a high pressure situation. speaker-0: Mm, okay. speaker-1: So if I'm prepared, I'm calmer. Automatically, I'm calmer. Now we can't control everything. Right. But when you prepare, you you're loving on your brain, you're loving on yourself and you give yourself the opportunity not to, you know, just explode. You know? so let's see, as a teacher. some things we can prepare for. We can prepare for emergency preparedness. What would happen in emergency procedure? We can prepare for emergency medical alert. We can prepare ahead of time. No, we may not always have the answers, but what is our discipline plan? Who do we talk to? Who can we refer in a crisis situation? If we know these things, when we walk in the classroom, we're already giving our brain a break. Then we speaker-0: I love that. speaker-1: can worry about some of the other things that we actually plan for that day. So a prepared brain, it just it's like kissing your brain. Allowing yourself the opportunity to make fewer decisions under pressure. That's where the stress comes from. speaker-0: Okay, that that's a that's a tweetable quote right there. Okay, so to make have to make fewer decisions under pressure. And I know that we have already planned that we're gonna sit down later and talk about how to help our students in different situations, but I have to just take a moment to say if a teacher is feeling overwhelmed but her classroom is as prepared as she can possibly make it, what happens is that there's clarity and consistency for the students, which will also help reduce the teacher stress. Absolutely. When students walk into a classroom where there's not chaos and they know that there's certain procedures, there are protocols, there are expectations, those have all been established and set, then typically the discipline is better, the students respond better. Absolutely. So that's gonna help the teacher. speaker-1: So always know this. The first thing a dysregulated student is looking for is the regulated adult. A dysregulated student is coming into a classroom looking for a regulated adult. So we as the educators have to learn how do we regulate ourselves first. The student knows. And that's when chaos. speaker-0: And you know what it makes me think of too? I I think of how, you know, we're both parents and we we we've heard parenting hacks, some of you are parents, of, you know, set out your child's, you know, clothes the night before, get the homework in the backpack, make sure that everything's ready so that when you walk out the door, but let's just talk about us. I think when you talk about being prepared, just even that next morning, if mornings are hard for you, and you know mornings are hard, then the night before decide what you're gonna wear. Iron it. I'll tell you one thing I'll learn. Go to the gas station the night before. If you know you're gonna be running low on gas, nobody wants to go to the gas station on the way to the morning. Go the night before. It is better to go at nine o'clock to the gas station, I think, and then come back than to have to get in the car and be running in in the morning. It's freezing cold, it's raining, you're already n it's just speaker-1: It never speaker-0: that rush. So have all of my items for school set out, everything ready to go, so that at least in that morning time I am not feeling as dysregulated. I'm feeling a bigger sense of calm, I think those are are great things just to help us be prepared for the day ahead. speaker-1: It seems so simple. Go to the gas station, lay out my clothes. It's simple, but it's not easy. speaker-0: Simple, it's not always easy. And so maybe I think that what I'm hearing you say is that as as educators or anyone listening to this that we might need to think about what are my pressure points? What are the moments when I feel myself just we have emotion we do here at the Ron Kark Academy and I know some of you are just listening, but imagine me just taking my hands by my sides and just doing them in circles beside my head. It's almost like I'm a tornado, I'm unraveling, I'm unwinding, everything is falling apart. And so I think that that idea that when you feel that sense of I'm unraveling, if you see a pattern that you do this same kind of thing, whenever this happens, how can we be proactive then and prepare for those situations so it doesn't take us off guard as often? speaker-1: Okay, so you said something that I love. A pattern. Yes. The brain is beautiful. Another podcast, another day. But the brain is beautiful. And we create pathways. So if you recognize that this is off, this is something that I normally do and I need to change this, then you have to create a new neurological pathway. And the way that you do that is you have to start you can start some but you have to Make a decision and stick to it. I love it. It's really that simple. They say it takes three weeks to form a habit. I'm not quite sure. But they say three weeks to form a habit. So take a period, honor yourself, and say, I'm gonna do this for this period of time, and let's just see if it makes a difference. You have to retrain your brain. They also say, Brush your teeth with your left hand if you're typically right handed. Mm-hmm. So you can brush your teeth with the your left hand because the brain is like, What's happening here? Normally, this is what we do. So when you do this, speaker-0: When you brush with your left hand instead of your right hand. speaker-1: if you're right handed, or vice versa, if now you're making you you're alerting your brain and now it's like, What's happening? What are you doing? So you have to retrain your brain. It's muscle memory. It's muscle memory. If you're used to chaos and you do everything chaotic. That's what's gonna happen. It's gonna be chaotic. But you can retrain your brain. And you can say something as simple but powerful as preparing the night before. speaker-0: I love that. And I know that some of the educators who are listening are parents, some are not. Mm-hmm. And I know that some of you who are parents though have probably had these mornings where you're not only stressed about walk going into that school, you're trying to get kids in the car, they're stressed too. Then you're fussing all the way to school and that kind of thing. And so it really does help even the child to walk into the building in a better state, but also not to have that conflict in the morning, which also adds to that stress. So I love these ideas. I think that's a a A new concept, I've never really thought about it that way. I've known that I should exercise and eat well and sleep and stay hydrated. I know all of those things, even though I have a a pension for Diet Coke instead of water sometimes, you know. I n but I know better. But I've never thought that being prepared is really something that helps protect my capacity. I love that. Huge point. Absolutely. speaker-1: Absolutely. speaker-0: So let's talk about the next part though. So so let's say I haven't prepared. Your your third point is often to regulate and recover. What do you mean by that? Help explain that. speaker-1: You have to know your zones, right? So let's just say green, yellow, red. Green. You're calm. You can make clear choices. Green. Yellow. You starting to get a little more anxious. Breathing might be a little faster. And you noticing you're reacting. Right. A little a little faster. speaker-0: Right. speaker-1: Red. You're all the way out there now. You can't make clear choices. Heart rate increases. start you could sweat sometimes you i explode you have to intervene in yellow if you notice things are not feeling right notice that i'm getting a little irritated know your zones i'm in yellow i need to do a micro recovery speaker-0: So it makes me wonder should we all walk around with with yellow cards and hold it up just letting me know I'm I'm approaching my I'm about done students, I'm in yellow. How how what does one do then? If I'm if I'm having a class period, let's say, and I get kids asking questions and you know, child's not doing what I asked, you know, teachers are struggling with these kinds of things and I feel this, tell me what some actions I can take to do that recovery, regulating recovery. speaker-1: Okay, so believe it or not, we're not gonna walk around with cars, but the students know anyway. speaker-0: Brilliant. It's true. They see it on our face. They see it. speaker-1: They know. Mm-hmm. They know. They may not be able to articulate it. But they but they know, okay. She's going there. He's going there. Yeah. But you can do micro recoveries, small things. Sometimes it's just to stop. Breathe. Take just speaker-0: Breathing, we I think we underestimate the power of taking a deep. speaker-1: Absolutely. Just take a take a break. speaker-0: If speaker-1: Lunchtime is coming. Maybe eat lunch outside. It sounds simple, but it's powerful. music, common music. Common music changes everything. speaker-0: I think that is a wonderful tip. for me, music is I think we probably all have our our different preferences, but for me, music will do it. If I sit down and I can just find a quiet spot and just even listen sometimes to a song, I can get myself back to where I need to be. A song that I feel is uplifting but also calming at the same time. I think there's power in that for sure. speaker-1: So I like like nature sounds running water. Water is very cleansing and just to hear it not loudly. Just nice, soft running water. It just it calms things. Also, there are different things that you I have these things off of Amazon that are called anxiety cards. You can just look at them. It gives you tips, it tells you things that you can do, situations. It's just it's it's a it's a wonderful resource. They're Vegas nerve cards. It tells you sometimes you maybe just need to hum. Adults can get fidgets. Get take get a fidget. If you know that you you're in yellow, grab a fidget. We give students fidgets, but adults have fidgets. Grab a fidget. speaker-0: So you mentioned the vagus nerve and Yolanda, forgive my ignorance, but I feel like I'm late to the party here and then I keep recently hearing that discussed and just calming the nervous system, things about breathing. I keep hearing more and more about that. So can you just speak a little bit more about that? Because I think it's important. speaker-1: So our our brains are beautiful and the nervous system is put in place for a reason. The amygdala, the limbic system. The amygdala is like our body's natural alarm system. But we operate daily like everything is an alarm. The brain doesn't know what's real and what's fake. So we do everything quickly. We wash our hands quickly. We brush our hair quickly. We brush our teeth. When we take a shower, you know, we clean our body quickly. We eat quickly. speaker-0: Not enough time for everything we want to do in day. That's how we feel. speaker-1: That's how we feel. But the brain is saying alarm, alarm, alert, alert, alert. Now you cortisol is being released. Adrenaline is being released. And the body is not meant to have that amount of cortisol, adrenaline. And it that's for a purpose. But we use it just as if it's every day. speaker-0: So listeners, I think that Yolanda is actually referring all this to me right now. I am notoriously the fastest walker in North America and of I I I talk fast, I walk fast. and there are some health benefits to being a fast walker. However, if I'm doing it in a stressful way, that's a problem. Or I always feel like there's on enough hours in the day, so I've got to get everything done. I I've got to rush, rush, rush. Because Yolanda, what would you say somebody like me that's like Well, I'm I'm moving so fast because there's so much to do. I I I I I have to keep going. I have to keep going. I gotta do this, I gotta do this. When I get home I got a whole other set of responsibilities. So talk to the many people who I know feel like that. Tell me what I need to do though, or what I just need to understand, even though I feel like there's not enough hours in the day, it's important that I to be able to function, it's still important that I have to stop and slow down, right? Okay. speaker-1: Okay. That that that was a beautiful question. What would I say to you? Okay, so I have something for you. speaker-0: you brought prizes. Okay. Okay, so she has given me this this little velvet pouch for those of you who are just listening. I did. And if I open it up speaker-1: But what does it say? speaker-0: There's a beautiful pen in it and it has something inscribed in it. It says the best is still in you and it has her initials on it. that's a beautiful pen. The best is still in you. speaker-1: If you are constantly rushing and moving about and you have to get to the next thing 'cause it's not enough hours in the day and my gosh, I need to do this, I to do that, how do you know, how can you hear what's in you? speaker-0: are you asking me? Okay. No, that's what I'm saying. It's a beautiful question. And that's true. Yeah. There there's importance in stillness. And I know that. And and for those people who are spiritually inclined, I mean there's you that's a very a very important thing too, just to to be still sometimes, right? In order to to be spiritually grounded as well. So I I hear you on that. I think that's very important. Yes. speaker-1: We want our students to be still. We want our students to be mindful. We want our students to be present. Why can't we? speaker-0: Very good point. So I hear you. And I think that's I think that's beautiful. I think some you know, you think about this some of these key nuggets here. It's important that we be prepared. That helps. It's important that we be still, that we do things like take those deep breaths. So we've recognized our burnout. We we've now figured out how to protect our capacity, how to regulate and recover. Your fourth key thing you always talk about though is setting healthy boundaries. Ooh, that's a hard one for some of us there too. Talk about that. speaker-1: So boundary is almost like a dirty word. speaker-0: It is because you don't wanna come across let's let's be real. Mm-hmm. You wanna come across in our workplace that we are helpful, that we're engaged, that we wanna be a team player, we wanna pitch in. And I do think some people abuse boundaries. You don't ask anything of me. It's not you know, so I think that's problematic. But I also do recognize and understand though that if we have no boundaries whatsoever, we will burn out. And because you cannot be everything to everybody. speaker-1: So a boundary is not evidence that you care less. Right. Sometimes the boundary speaker-0: Yeah, I got we I think we should say that again. A boundary is not evidence that you care less. speaker-1: No, a boundary is not evidence that you care less. Sometimes putting a boundary in place allows you to care more for a situation. speaker-0: I love that. You know, it's interesting because I because I know so many people who are listening are educators. I can't help but always in my mind pull that back to we know that children need boundaries. we know that children need boundaries for safety. We know that that to feel like they're secure, to feel like they can be guided in the right place, to feel like they they have the capacity to be able to do the things we're asking them to do. Children need boundaries. And so I've never really made this connection until this very moment. Then if children benefit from boundaries, why is we why would we not as adults benefit from boundaries? Except for that we have to set our own as adults. That's the difference in being an adult and being a child, right? We have to know These are the guardrails, these are the boundaries I need to set for myself in order to be okay. speaker-1: I r I kinda I wrote down some questions that I would love educators to think about. Okay. As we talk about boundaries. Okay. And I don't want to forget any of it, so this I'm gonna just take a little gander here. Okay. All right. So realistic responsibility. Educator. What belongs to me? What belongs to the team? What belongs to the family? What belongs to another professional? And what can I not control? So when you think about boundaries, these are questions that you have to ask. What what really belongs to me in regard to this student? speaker-0: Right. Sometimes you have to you you give what you can and you care and you you're working hard and you're trying to help that child, but that doesn't mean that we have to bear the weight of not being able to fix it. I know you talk sometimes about the fact that we don't have to look, when we sign to be educators, most of us who go into this profession do it because we do want to transform children's lives. I know that these educators who are burnt out, overworked, overwhelmed, underappreciated, the reason that it hurts so much is because we do care. We're here for kids. We want to be be here for kids. But then when it doesn't work out the way we thought it would, or the child doesn't respond the way we wanted the child to, or the parent, heaven forbid, comes back and is actually even ugly to us when we were trying to do what was in the best interest of the child. Those are the kind of things I think that really l just are like a punch in the gut. And I think that they contribute to this reason that some educators are even leaving. They're like, I can't take it anymore. I'm doing all the right things. I'm trying to do everything for everybody. And yet It's not even appreciated. Like it I and here I am suffering because of it. And or I'm not making a difference anymore because that child's still struggling or that child's still not accomplishing what it you know, he or she needs to be accomplishing. So I think that is a common thread, a common theme. So Yolanda, when that happens, what would you say to that educator? speaker-1: I'm gonna say something that may be risky. speaker-0: Okay. speaker-1: But to every educator, you can't always be the hero in every child's story. Sometimes you just have to plant the seed. speaker-0: That first part's hard to hear. You can't be the hero in everybody's story. But then the second part provides such hope. speaker-1: Absolutely. We are a chapter in their story. But we can't write their entire story. And we have to be okay with little Johnny came to me. I may have just given little Johnny hope. Just enough, a safe enough space that when little Johnny gets to you, he can thrive. I have speaker-0: Mm. speaker-1: to be okay knowing that I've done my part. We cannot be the hero in every child's story. So I would say love well, teach well, recover well, but we c we have to know lets each one of us do our part. speaker-0: And we can't control the outcome. speaker-1: We cannot. speaker-0: We cannot control the outcome. And I know there are many educators who are listening who may have even been new in their career or not be as many years in as I am. So for those of you that don't know, if you didn't hear me say earlier, I've this is my forty first year teaching. So a blessing in that is that there are students along the way, many, that poured into, poured into, but didn't see that seed blossom. You know, just the child was still struggling when the child left. The child I was still concerned about the child. And when you've been doing this as many years as I have, the blessing is that how many times a child will come back years later Years later speaker-1: back they always come back speaker-0: and say something about something you said to them and at times I was like, I didn't know you were paying any any attention to what I was trying to do. They were and they they may have heard it, but they weren't ready to act upon it, or they they didn't even know how to receive it. But it still planted a seed that later did take root and manifest itself in a different way. And so I think that's the part it's almost arrogant of any human being to think that we could be the hero in everyone's life. Well, it is it's not almost arrogant, it is arrogant. You know, it's that whole I'm gonna be the savior in every child's story. That's that's not possible. And but So we have to let go of that part and not let it hurt our hearts if a child is not responding the way if we've loved well and we've taught well and we've done our very best that we can do. And we've done what's right. What's right is not always what's easy. speaker-1: That's speaker-0: You know, but we also have to hang on to that idea that I know I've planted a seed and from here I've got to hope that that seed continues to be watered and fed and grow. But I've done my part to plant that seed and And I just have to say that again for those of you who are newer in this profession, have hope in that because there are sometimes the ones that I was the most concerned about will come back and it was the most profound transformation and they are able when they get older to look back and say, No, it was that moment. It was what you said, it was how you all did this as a team for me. those kind of things I think are the things that that give you that that validation that yeah, what we're doing is is significant even on those days when it's horribly hard. It speaker-1: This is significant and release the pressure. That reduces the burnout. Do the best that you can. And then if you go home, you discover that you could have done more, do better the next day. speaker-0: Imagine a school where students are excited to learn. Educators feel confident and equipped, and the culture is thriving. That's what every educator wants, but finding effective strategies in today's demanding environment can feel overwhelming. And you deserve support. The Ron Clark Academy is a nonprofit school and educator training facility in Atlanta. Our nationally recognized educators still teach and lead, so we understand both the challenges and the possibilities. By attending RCAEXP and our other professional development programs, you can observe effective teaching and action, learn proven strategies from practicing educators, and leave ready to adapt them for your own students in school. Thousands of educators attend and learn from us every year, and we would love for you to be next. So come see it, understand why it works, and make it your own. Visit RCAEXP.com to register for one of our professional development experiences today. Alright, so forty one years in this. Some days I'm very proud of who I was as an educator. Look, I've had some days where it was all I could do to get out of the bed and get into that classroom and even though I work in this magnificent school I'm surrounded by beautiful children, phenomenal educators. We got flying dragons, you know, we got you know, it's a beautiful place, we still have stress, right? Absolutely. So, you know, there we all go through that. But I think it's important for us to still hang on to that that hope piece here and realize that if I had a bad day It's okay. It's does gotta move on. speaker-1: That's okay. It's okay, it's okay. You can have a bad day. The same way we want our children to be resilient. We have to learn to have that bounce back. Children need to see real humans. They don't need to see Miss Bearner's never ever been, you know, upset or dysregulated. No, they need to see you bounce back. Example. speaker-0: They need an e you know one thing too this reminds me of that I just you know, I I think it's a a good point to bring up here. One of the things I've realized, you know, when working with, you know, so many educators and they come and they share issues and challenges and you know, and discipline is one that educators often speak of. I do think that one of the challenges that educators have is that even though even those people who are more seasoned like I am, even those of us who may be a little bit tougher around the edges, I think sometimes this comes from educators get their feelings hurt. And when a child does something and they don't respond the way and I you know, and I am doing all for this child and I care about this child and the child doesn't respond the way we want them to, sometimes deep down inside it's because your feelings are hurt. And then you respond with emotion and you can't ever really effectively help students with discipline and consequences if you're in an emotional state. You know, that's just not the time to do it. And, you know, it's interesting, I I I've shared this story before, but my very first year teaching. A little girl named Dee Dee took a spelling book and she wrote my name, my name was a former, I had a different last name about it than Miss Stewart, and she said, Is a and then she put the B word in the spelling book. She shoved it in the toilet. the custodian, there are many layers to this, right? So the custodian digs it out of the toilet, puts it in a big plastic bag, brings it to me. I was devastated. Yolanda, I cried all night. I went home, I was like, why would she write something I care so much about Didi, how could she do this? This I'm devastated. I'm so I care about this little girl. I was so hurt. Do you know today, if somebody walked in here right now and handed me a spelling book with something in it, there wouldn't be a molecule in my whole body that's hurt. You've learned. 'Cause I've learned and it's not because I don't care. I've learned to love kids more deeply than before. Absolutely. But I would sit down with Didi and I'd say, Baby girl, we got we got some issues here. We got profanity, we got destruction of property, we got vandalism. total disrespect. We we got consequences here. There's consequences for this. But sweetheart, what's what's really going on here? It would not hurt a molecule in my whole body. And so I I wish that for everyone. I think some of that just comes with life experiences. But that's what I wish for you as an educator, if if it's because your feelings are hurt or you open that email and this one parent questions everything you do. It it it sends you into a spiral because don't they see how hard I'm working? I'm doing my best and it hurts. And we have to understand that we don't know what they're going through, what they're carrying, and and try not to take it personally. And just recognize that we're planting seeds and and not not wear the weight of that. speaker-1: Absolutely. That's a mic drop. D I can't even add to that. That is that's it. We are planting seeds. Don't wear it personally. speaker-0: Now the other thing I love that your fifth point here, you know, so that to recap, we have recognizing burnout, protecting our capacity, regulating recovering, setting healthy boundaries. We've also have to be okay with asking for help. And I think for some people who have problems with control, have problems maybe sometimes even with our our ego or we're afraid that To admit you need help, that that might mean I'm weak, or that I'm not capable of doing my job. that they might think that maybe I shouldn't have this this leadership role if I'm if I'm struggling right now. These are all fears I think that make people hesitant to go and ask for help. But what advice would you give to somebody to know, okay, it's really time for you to go talk to somebody and and not to be ashamed or embarrassed about that? So speaker-1: Teachers spend all day being a safe space for the students. Right. Teachers need a safe space as well. Find your person before the situation explodes. Find someone that you can be truthful with. Find someone you can take the teacher hat off. speaker-0: Love it. speaker-1: You you wanna be honest. Right. You wanna have a honest conversation, a safe, protected conversation. And there are many people out there that you can do that with. It can be a great friend, it can be a counselor, it can be a mentor, it can be a coach. But find someone speaker-0: And they don't have to be in your building. They could be in a different building. Absolutely. speaker-1: Absolutely. Right. Absolutely. Sometimes it's it's it's layered, right? Right. Sometimes you may need a counselor and a coach. Right. Okay, so when I counsel, I I empathize. Right. And and I get in there to try to understand their situation. But then when the coach comes out, it's time to get up. speaker-0: Right. speaker-1: It's time to So you need someone, teachers need someone where they can talk to but not just complain. Yes, okay now, yes, complain because they need to a safe space. But I would want the person that after I've complained and after I said all of the things speaker-0: So what are you gonna do now? speaker-1: Now what we're gonna do next. I need a plan and I need the person. See I I protect my brain. I need a plan. Right. And I need someone that I'm bouncing ideas off with. Now now what's the solution? What's next? Help me think. I don't wanna continue ruminating over what had me all worked up in the first place. speaker-0: All right, there's so many nuggets right there. First of all, one of the things that I love about you as our school counselor is that as you can imagine, everybody wants to go to Yolanda's office all the time just because she's Yolanda. So, you know, everybody wants to have an issue almost so they can go spend time with you. And so one of the things I love about you is that when you do have a child who does definitely need to spend time with you, goes to talk to you, you do not allow adults or children, parents, any of us to keep coming back and rehashing the same thing over and over again if you haven't taken the actionable steps absolutely fix it. So what you're teaching us is that we do have the capacity to take care of ourselves, right? It's it's not like we're completely helpless and we we can't do anything about it and we're just miserable and the whole world's against us and we're victims and it's awful. You're like, here's what you're gonna do. And you say it tenderly but you say it like you gotta you gotta get it together now. You gotta you gotta do something, what are you gonna do? I think that's sometimes that piece I think is important and it gets lost in the narrative sometimes. that we do know that we should take care of people, we should be sensitive, but there does come a point at which you're not helping someone if you're not helping them get on their feet. Absolutely. speaker-1: Don't rob me of my choice. Right. Right. You we have a choice. That's why you have to know your zones. Right. If you're in green, you you still able to make a choice. Right. You want to be able to make a choice. A good choice. Right. Right. And the only way you can do that is y you have to have some type of positivity. You have to have some a a challenge sometimes. And you need to know what your capacity is as well. So you need the opportunity, I guess. the way I would say it, you need the opportunity to make a choice. I don't want my choice to be taken from me. So I need someone to speaker-0: Show you're showing someone you are capable. speaker-1: they're very capable. We're all capable. We all have a choice. We can do something. Even if something is, okay, this was a lot. I'm gonna rest. Take a nap. But then get up and do something. speaker-0: You know, one of the most as a side note for any of you who are thinking, Well, I'm in a good place, but my coworker is not or you know, I have someone I care about deeply and they're going through a hard time. I I I wanna share one of the most beautiful just a phrase that you shared with me one time when I was having a hard time, and I just think it's a beautiful thing to say to somebody. Sometimes you don't know what to say. Sometimes there really are no words. Or sometimes you know something's off or you've already even discussed it, but you don't wanna have to keep rehashing it. Or or you know, there's just so many variables there, but Sometimes you know the person needs someone, but there are just no words. And you said to me, we can talk about it or I can just sit here and hold space with you. Absolutely. And it almost makes me tear up, just to even express that again. I can just hold space with you. That is a beautiful thing to say to somebody. there's a level of just love with somebody that you can just sit there and not have to talk. But know that they're just there just to show support. I think that's a beautiful thing. speaker-1: Hold space to me is the optimum level of care. Just hold space. Remember, we can't be the hero in everyone's story. speaker-0: Yeah. speaker-1: But because I love you, I still want to be there. So even if I don't have the words, I can hold space. I love it. And that's what we can do sometimes for our coworkers. Just hold space. speaker-0: 'Cause sometimes maybe you don't want to talk about it. No. But holding space, I just I think that's a beautiful expression. That music I'm showing up for you. I th I think that's beautiful. So, you know, one other thing that I do love even along this idea too though of, you know, taking care of ourselves. so another one of our staff members, Ben Walker's wife Alicia, is also a phenomenal counselor. I know. She taught me the expression instead of you know, we use the word self care all the time. But what sometimes when people hear self care They're not thinking about the things we're talking about, being prepared, right? Like setting boundaries. They're thinking it's bubble baths, right? And there's nothing wrong with a good bubble bath. And there's nothing wrong with a good nap, but it's so much more than that. And so she said she calls it soul care. And I love that because the idea is it may be something very different that feeds my soul and makes me feel better than someone else. For me, I'm an extreme extro extrovert. It might be the greatest thing for me just to go get in the middle of a ton of kids and go play on the playground. For other people, that might be their worst nightmare. But for me, I'm having a hard day. That actually makes me feel better. We all have to figure out what fuels our soul and take time for that. And I think that's something to remember as well. speaker-1: So self-care is is definitely so much more than bubble baths and in in wine in a spa day. It is being prepared. Right. Imposter syndrome comes oftentimes because people feel like they're not prepared, but they really are prepared, but then sometimes they don't do the self-care enough just to put their self out there. Right. Right then d it seemed like I said a lot, but think about it. Yeah. Right. Imposter syndrome is is huge. D the people spent the time, but they're scared. They're afraid to step out there. That's also a part of self- speaker-0: Can be a whole podcast in itself, you all, but you imposter syndrome for those of you that don't know, it really is this feeling that you're almost going to be discovered that you're not worthy to be in the space or to be in the position or that people are gonna think that you really aren't qualified or have the skills you need to be able to do the work that you're doing. And I think we all feel insecure at times, but quite often imposter syndrome is that when you actually have all the stuff you have all the stuff and you still don't feel equipped like you have it. And I think I think that's very important. speaker-1: So that's a tip for somebody. Right. That somebody's self-care is you have it. Care enough about yourself to just put yourself out there. speaker-0: And you know, the last pin the last piece about that would also be this. the older you get, the more you know people, you realize that everybody's got stuff. speaker-1: Yeah. speaker-0: Absolutely. And some of the most competent, accomplished people we'll ever meet, they're they're all struggling with something or some insecurity or some feeling of inadequacy or you know, some stress or everybody has stuff. Absolutely. So Yolanda, you've you've given us some beautiful tidbits to help us, I think. I would love it if you would kinda help pull all this together in that if if I'm somebody I'm going through a lot and tomorrow I look in my day. I maybe can't do all of these things, but walk me through a day and just give me like a list of things that I could actually do throughout the day. Now you probably couldn't do all of them or you wouldn't get anything else accomplished, right? But what are some little things I could do throughout my day so that at the end of the day perhaps it would have been a better day? So we already know like the night before, let's say we're preparing ourselves. We've already got everything laid out so that when we get up the next morning we do feel a little bit more settled going into the day. Taught me through the day some simple things that even as a teacher with all these stressors, I might be able to do that would help me. speaker-1: Some j just simple things and sometimes just even notice the small things, right? S it's the small things that matter when it when it counts. I I notice sounds like really, but Sometimes looking out the window and seeing the beauty of nature, sometimes hearing something that a child said to you. So, you know, we do our annual school by bullying session. A child that stood up and said, I literally feel safe at RCA, I slept. speaker-0: It was beautiful. It was a beautiful moment. In it speaker-1: It it stuck with me. speaker-0: Yes. speaker-1: It stuck d that may be small to someone else, but that fueled my soul. So sometimes just noticing the small things. People say this, but even a gratitude journal. speaker-0: It speaker-1: Again, these things are simple, but we're retraining our brain. So instead of focusing on the negative, I'm creating a new neurological pathway. And I'ma start thinking, what am I grateful for. So even during the day, even if I'm writing it on a sticky note, if I'm stressing, I'm writing what what I'm grateful for. I'm noticing the things that if I was just so rushing and I have to do everything that I wouldn't have the time to notice. How about just eat lunch? speaker-0: Mm. And eat lunch. Either if you'd rather be alone, be alone. But sometimes it's not an option. But sit beside somebody you'd really enjoy sitting beside. speaker-1: Sit beside someone you enjoy sitting beside. speaker-0: And what if you actually the night before decided to pack a lunch that you were excited about eating lunch for lunch? Absolutely. speaker-1: Absolutely. speaker-0: Yeah. speaker-1: Sometimes you may not be able to take a walk outside the building, but take a walk inside of the building because now you're releasing happy hormones. Right. Right? You're rele moving. Moving. Movement changes the mood. So you're releasing happy hormones, scientifically proven. Right. So these are just little things that we can do that make a world of difference. speaker-0: I want to add a couple to those. So my first year teaching, a teacher gave me a suggestion. She said, somebody wrote me a a sweet note, a child. Now we tend to get them more by email. But sweet note, she said you need to keep a folder and you put them in there and call it your hugs. And I have a folder of hugs. Twenty, twenty-five, thirty year old hugs. And now I tend to get more emails from kids. Obviously we're in a different world, but I actually do have a file in my email inbox where I have that. So when those moments are, I can pull back and go, Okay, but this meant something to me. And you keep it. And sometimes it's the ones that you read long afterward that do help. You know, and the other thing when you say gratitude, I think people say, that's toxic positivity. No. You hear so much about gratitude because it works. I mean that people that have appreciative spirits tend to have a better emotional well being. They think some studies I believe that it can affect your physical well being. Everything. Everything. And so we had a former staff member here, Chrissy Peppetone. She used to run Iron Man challenges. And in the middle of one day she it was right in the height of COVID. She was about to train for this Iron Man challenge and she sent me a text and it said, You're mile seven and I said, What does that mean? And and it was the most beautiful thing. She said, Well, when I go on these challenges and run for miles and miles, I can't listen to music. So I assign a mile to different people in my life. And for that whole mile I ruminate on my person that relationship with that person and what that person's meant to me and memories of this person. Well, first of all, how exciting I was mile seven. I was like, that's like the the most beautiful compliment ever. But I have taken that to heart sometimes when I'll run, I I thought about what if you ruminate on specific things? 'Cometimes our mind is so cluttered. And I kind of added this whole thing when you said about looking outside. So sometimes I'm like, okay, what are the things I can see? I'm just gonna think about all the things I can see they're beautiful. What about the things I can hear? What about the things that, you know, if I turn off the the earphones, even though music is beautiful, what about the other sounds, you know, and laughter and things, whatever it is or you know, and and the things I can smell or the things I can feel, like the sunshine on my shoulders and my muscles moving and things like that. speaker-1: So those are grounded techniques. So that's great. speaker-0: So I don't even know. It's a counseling title. But it really does help. So even if you are just you can't do that on a r but what if you're walking around the building and you're like, you know what, I'm going to walk around the building and right now I'm just gonna look for signs of joy. Or I'm gonna look for signs of happy children, or look for signs of things to be grateful for. I do think that's one of those things that that it's that speaker-1: It can help you in a moment. speaker-0: it can help you in the moment. Even if it's just help you in the moment. speaker-1: Yeah, you guys it. speaker-0: I you gotta run off your quiz. You got stuff you gotta do, but th it might be well worth it to do that for ten minutes to be able to get you through the rest of the day. And then when we get home, you know, I know we've all had those moments maybe where you pull in the driveway and you're too comatosed to even get out of the car to go into the house because, you know, you just wanna listen to that song or you just gotta have some peace and quiet. Sometimes you're going into a home, one of two things. It could be a home that's just completely chaotic because you have things going on, or it could be a home that's quiet and there's a feeling of emptiness there. Absolutely. But when we get home Are there any other tips for us to think about after a full day, even if we still have papers to grade? We got stuff to do. Gotta walk the dog, gotta feed the kids. What are you gonna do? Gotta speaker-1: You have to take a moment. speaker-0: take a moment. speaker-1: You have to take a moment. That is that is one thing that I I will give myself is a moment. Just just take a moment. You gotta take a moment to detach. We know you can get back to it later, but just take a moment to detach, reflect, and to be present in the now situation that you are. So if that's like you, sometimes you send me pictures of your beautiful grandson. speaker-0: Should do a whole three or three series arc on my grandson. Yes, we should do that. speaker-1: But think about it. You are a very accomplished busy woman. Yes. But then you will sometimes go go home and or go to visit your grandson and you just take that moment and you are fully present. Right. And then you're recharged. So you have to take a moment just to dech. speaker-0: You know, one of the things I've I love that you said that. One of things I've learned is that, you know, all of us i I'm not singular in this. All of us, we have multiple roles, whether it's, you know, you know, a a mom, whether you're a wife, whether you're a a teacher, an administrator, you're you're also you've got we've got all these different titles and different jobs. We've got so many different jobs. And people have asked me when they come here because we do workshops on so many different things, and they will come here and they will ask, how do you handle all these things? And my answer's always very honest. Not well. But I I don't ever do things on balance. You know, I said, you know, how do you balance it all? And I've s I have figured out my answer that. I can't balance all of it. It's not all balanced. But at whatever role I'm in at that moment, I try to be fully immersed in that role. speaker-1: Absolutely. speaker-0: So right now I am podcast host. I'm not thinking about those papers that I'm gonna have to grade that I collected today. or you know, when I'm with my my children, I want to be fully in mom mode or my grandchild fully in grandmama mode so that in that moment you're not missing anything and you you can reap the the joy that comes with that. and so it's not always the same and some days you have to give more attention to one thing than another. speaker-1: That's okay. speaker-0: And and and letting ourselves know it's okay. Not to feel guilty about that. speaker-1: It that's okay. Not to feel guilty about it. speaker-0: And so tomorrow may not be the most earth shadowing lesson you ever do, but you did the best you could do. But maybe next week you make sure that you have a lesson where you're like, I'm so proud of this lesson. It was everything I wanted. speaker-1: Absolutely. Absolutely. Give it your best. Do the best that you can. And if you discover because see, this is this is the coach in me. If you discover that I can I could have done that better, then do better the next day. But keep going. I love it. Keep going. Teachers I say this all the time. Teachers are heroes. See I I know what what I do. I was speaker-0: We can't be the hero in everyone's story, but what the work we do day to day it makes us heroes. speaker-1: we cannot be a hero in everyone's story, but teachers are heroes. Because I I know what I do. I advocate, student support, help, you know, bring regulation, but teachers are heroes because they're on the front line. They do this every day. The student is in the classroom before they can send to me. Right. So they are heroes. So I I would just say, trust your gut. know why you chose this profession. And you don't have to be perfect. Just do what you do well. speaker-0: Just Well I've learned that perfectionism is boring. It's an illusion. It's boring. There's no such thing. It's boring. So I think that's a beautiful place for us to kind of just pull it all together and say, first of all, for those of you that are teachers, thank you. speaker-1: Thank you. speaker-0: Any of you who work in a school building, work with children, the work you do, it is significant, it is purposeful. We need you. And so we do want you to protect your hearts. We want you to set those boundaries. We want you to be prepared. We want you to take care of yourselves. We want you to take time. for that soul care, those things of showing gratitude or finding a moment to get away from things and and and take a moment, get out in nature, listen to music, do whatever it is that that helps you to be able to do the work that you do. But above all, we want you to understand how much we appreciate you. And on those days that you do feel beaten down, broken down, overworked, overwhelmed and underappreciated, you need to know that there are very few professions in the universe where you could have a greater impact. And even on your worst day, you could be planting a seed that will significantly impact the life of the child child and and everyone that that child will one day affect. So for that we thank you. We're so grateful for you. And thank you for joining us, Jelanda. I'm so grateful for you. speaker-1: Thank you, it was a pleasure. speaker-0: Thank you for joining us. We hope you've enjoyed this episode and can take away something that you may be able to use in your classroom and school. And above all, the goal is to impact as many students as possible. So please take the time to share this with your fellow teachers, colleagues, and friends as well. And please remember to subscribe to never miss another one of our amazing guests. While we hope you continue to watch and listen to the RCA Mix podcast, We would really love for you to come visit us in person here at the Ron Clark Academy to attend one of our professional development conferences. They happen almost every single week, and you can learn more about them and how to register at rcaexp dot com. We hope to see you here.