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Transcript

Mark's 11am Monologue. · The Mark Simone Show

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Mister New York marximone seor Oh, we got a lot
• 0:08
  Speaker 1: to get to this hour. So I go down to
• 0:11
  Speaker 1: the kitchen to get a cup of coffee. There's a
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: woman there, had an entourage like forty people, and there's
• 0:18
  Speaker 1: like another one hundred people gathered around her talking to her.
• 0:21
  Speaker 1: And you know, nobody knows who anybody is anymore. So
• 0:24
  Speaker 1: I had to say to somebody, who is that? And
• 0:27
  Speaker 1: he said, Olivia Rodrigue. Oh okay, I mean I know
• 0:32
  Speaker 1: who that is, but I didn't recognize her. But if
• 0:34
  Speaker 1: I walked down there with Jay Leno, They're all going
• 0:37
  Speaker 1: to be saying, who is that? Nobody knows who anybody
• 0:42
  Speaker 1: is anymore. There's no more mass media anything anymore. So
• 0:46
  Speaker 1: Representative Thomas Massey horrible guy, awful guy, anti Semitic, like crazy,
• 0:53
  Speaker 1: even even in his concession speech goes totally anti. I
• 1:00
  Speaker 1: see forty people walking by? Is that her? Again? It is?
• 1:05
  Speaker 1: I watch? Oh she's going that way, she just walked
• 1:08
  Speaker 1: by the window. How many people there's like forty five
• 1:11
  Speaker 1: people walking with her. It's hysterical. They get to the door,
• 1:14
  Speaker 1: one opens it and then it takes like twenty minutes. When
• 1:16
  Speaker 1: they get through the door anyway, where was it? Oh?
• 1:18
  Speaker 1: Thomas Massey, horrible horrible guy gets antisemitic in his concession
• 1:23
  Speaker 1: speech when everybody's looking at him, So they wiped him out.
• 1:29
  Speaker 1: Trump finally stood up to him, wiped him out. It
• 1:32
  Speaker 1: will go down as the most expensive primary race in
• 1:35
  Speaker 1: US history. This is not a congressional race. This is
• 1:39
  Speaker 1: just the primary. Thirty two million was spent on political ads.
• 1:45
  Speaker 1: Thirty two million, most expensive primary in history. Massy was
• 1:49
  Speaker 1: so crazy, trumped arrangement syndrome. He's the guy the way
• 1:53
  Speaker 1: back when, started pushing like crazy, like crazy for the Epstein. Now,
• 2:03
  Speaker 1: some of these people actually convinced themselves, could you could
• 2:06
  Speaker 1: without the files, you could still know the real story.
• 2:09
  Speaker 1: Some of them convinced themselves that Trump and Epstein were
• 2:11
  Speaker 1: close friends, which they never were. When Epstein first made
• 2:15
  Speaker 1: a ton of money and bought a big place in
• 2:17
  Speaker 1: Palm Beach, he was a new guy in town with
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  Speaker 1: millions of bucks, and he joined mar A Lago and
• 2:23
  Speaker 1: President Trump like any club owner, and back then he
• 2:27
  Speaker 1: was not a politician. He was just a civilian. But
• 2:30
  Speaker 1: any owner of a big club or a big owner
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  Speaker 1: would always whenever a big new very wealthy members joins
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  Speaker 1: and starts spending a lot of money. You go spend
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  Speaker 1: some time with him, you go greet him, you say
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  Speaker 1: hello to him. And Trump's always done that. I remember
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  Speaker 1: years ago he owned the Plaza hotel. Got a kick
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  Speaker 1: out of him when there were parties. He'd hang out
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  Speaker 1: with Epstein at the you know, on that end of
• 2:50
  Speaker 1: the party over there. But that was it. At some
• 2:53
  Speaker 1: point it went bad because they found out Epstein. First,
• 2:56
  Speaker 1: we was hiring people away from mar Alago, some of
• 2:59
  Speaker 1: them was Zeuses. That was bad enough. Trump gave him
• 3:02
  Speaker 1: a warning. Then the next thing that happened was Epstein
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  Speaker 1: hit on this young girl who worked in the locker room,
• 3:08
  Speaker 1: you know, like whatever she was, fifteen sixteen year old girl.
• 3:12
  Speaker 1: Turned out she was the daughter of a member. That's
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  Speaker 1: how she got the job. Trump heard about this, threw
• 3:16
  Speaker 1: Epstein out of Mar a Lago, banned him from the club,
• 3:19
  Speaker 1: banned him from every Trump property. This is a million
• 3:22
  Speaker 1: years ago, and then never spoke to him again. So
• 3:25
  Speaker 1: that was the end of it. And if you read
• 3:26
  Speaker 1: the Epstein files, after that, nobody hated Trump more than Epstein.
• 3:31
  Speaker 1: If you read the files, and there's millions of pages,
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  Speaker 1: you can read this he's just plotting against Trump, raging
• 3:37
  Speaker 1: with hatred against Trump for years, and whenever he did,
• 3:40
  Speaker 1: he got very close to that sleeze ball tabloid idiot,
• 3:43
  Speaker 1: Michael wolf that Trump hating writer. He and Michael Wolfe.
• 3:48
  Speaker 1: You read their email exchanges. It's all about how they
• 3:50
  Speaker 1: can destroy Trump, plots to destroy Trump. So that was
• 3:54
  Speaker 1: Epstein just hated Trump. He was one of his biggest enemies.
• 3:57
  Speaker 1: But guys like Massy convinced themselves that once this Epstein
• 4:02
  Speaker 1: file comes out, that's it for Trump. You remember, you
• 4:05
  Speaker 1: go back a few months ago before the files came out,
• 4:08
  Speaker 1: do you remember at people actually had themselves convinced Trump
• 4:11
  Speaker 1: was on Epstein island, Trump was a pedophile Trump. They
• 4:14
  Speaker 1: had all these fantasies that were all crazy. Again, once
• 4:18
  Speaker 1: the files came out, you read it. Not only were
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  Speaker 1: they not friends, but Epstein and Trump were bitter enemies.
• 4:25
  Speaker 1: So that's what it was. Hey, if you watched a
• 4:27
  Speaker 1: Saturday Night Live last Saturday Night, the opening sketch was
• 4:30
  Speaker 1: about something and then all of a sudden, Epstein appears
• 4:34
  Speaker 1: and it's a dream or something, and Trump says, who
• 4:36
  Speaker 1: are you? I'm your closest friend. They even Saturday and
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  Speaker 1: live pushing this ridiculous lie that they were close friends.
• 4:43
  Speaker 1: So that's one of the things that did Massy and
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  Speaker 1: he pushed so hard for that stupid Epstein file that came,
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  Speaker 1: and all it did was once and for all exonerate
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  Speaker 1: Trump from all of that. Hey, what's today Wednesday? Right?
• 4:56
  Speaker 1: So tomorrow night is the final Colbert show. We will
• 5:01
  Speaker 1: be rid of this awful guy. Colbert. Tomorrow Night the
• 5:05
  Speaker 1: final show. They're keeping it secret. They don't want you
• 5:08
  Speaker 1: to know who the guests are, Billy Joel, Paul McCartney.
• 5:14
  Speaker 1: That's two of them. But Tomorrow Night then having some
• 5:16
  Speaker 1: kind of big party afterwards. Wrap party should be more
• 5:19
  Speaker 1: like a funeral party. But the left, of course thinks
• 5:26
  Speaker 1: this is a terrible that he's going off the air,
• 5:29
  Speaker 1: that he was such a wonderful national treasure, and that
• 5:33
  Speaker 1: he was pushed off for political reasons. He was thrown
• 5:37
  Speaker 1: off the air mainly because the show's a total disaster.
• 5:41
  Speaker 1: Ratings are low. Oh, they'll tell you it beats Jimmy Kimmel,
• 5:43
  Speaker 1: it beats Fallon. Well, that's only because they have even
• 5:45
  Speaker 1: lower ratings. The ratings are minuscule, and the show loses
• 5:50
  Speaker 1: forty to fifty million each year. It's been losing forty
• 5:53
  Speaker 1: to fifty million a year. Real question is why did
• 5:55
  Speaker 1: they keep it on if it's losing forty to fifty
• 5:57
  Speaker 1: million a year. Well that might have been the political part.
• 6:01
  Speaker 1: So a lot of people, a lot of critics are
• 6:03
  Speaker 1: starting to write seriously about it, how much damage he
• 6:05
  Speaker 1: might have done to America just by ruining late night TV.
• 6:09
  Speaker 1: Late Night with Steve Allen was Jack Parr, was Johnny Carson,
• 6:13
  Speaker 1: Jay Leno was the original good David Letterman. It was
• 6:17
  Speaker 1: fun It was funny. That was the idea. The idea
• 6:21
  Speaker 1: was you'd have some laughs, you'd be entertained, laugh and
• 6:24
  Speaker 1: relaxed before you go to sleep, not do one hour
• 6:27
  Speaker 1: of vicious hatred. It's called the Late Show, They should
• 6:30
  Speaker 1: have called it the hate Show. You remember, years ago,
• 6:34
  Speaker 1: it was twenty four, twenty two years ago, there was
• 6:36
  Speaker 1: a famous incident. John Stewart was invited on what was
• 6:40
  Speaker 1: then the very popular political show Crossfire on CNN. That
• 6:44
  Speaker 1: was a big show every afternoon where they would debate
• 6:47
  Speaker 1: and sometimes they would get nasty. Remember John Stewart came
• 6:50
  Speaker 1: on and he told them off. He told off Crossfire
• 6:53
  Speaker 1: right on the air, right in front of him. He said,
• 6:55
  Speaker 1: this angry, rhetic rhetoric. It's hurting America. This anger, this
• 7:00
  Speaker 1: angry politics, it's bad for America. Well skip ahead to
• 7:05
  Speaker 1: today and guys like John Stewart embraced this angry anger.
• 7:09
  Speaker 1: But Colbert was the worst. John Stuart there's a twinkle
• 7:13
  Speaker 1: in his eye. He's funny, he can go after both sides. Colbert,
• 7:18
  Speaker 1: there's no twinkle in his eye, just a psycho look.
• 7:21
  Speaker 1: He's a nasty, nasty guy in real life and a
• 7:25
  Speaker 1: nasty guy in the air. It was just a combination
• 7:28
  Speaker 1: of total fake news, divisive monologues, and he only went
• 7:33
  Speaker 1: after political opponents. There was no balance at all. None. Hey, now,
• 7:38
  Speaker 1: remember when Colbert started originally eleven years ago, the show
• 7:42
  Speaker 1: was a disaster ratings wise, every wise. And then Trump
• 7:46
  Speaker 1: started to run and he went after Trump and that's
• 7:48
  Speaker 1: where he took off. So he just cranked up the
• 7:51
  Speaker 1: Trump hatred. So it was a blessing and a curse
• 7:55
  Speaker 1: for him. It helped him, but in the end it
• 7:59
  Speaker 1: just kind of killed him and he got really ugly
• 8:01
  Speaker 1: with the Trump stuff. Remember when he went after was
• 8:07
  Speaker 1: it Jared Kushner? He called, I can't even repeat it.
• 8:09
  Speaker 1: Something blank Holster. It's a dirty, dirty porn expression. I
• 8:13
  Speaker 1: remember the CBS censor who cut it out said it
• 8:16
  Speaker 1: was the single ugliest thing they ever had a censor
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  Speaker 1: out of a show. But that's Colbert. He could get
• 8:21
  Speaker 1: really dirty, dirty, ugly in his language and everything. He'd
• 8:25
  Speaker 1: put out these fake stories that you know, in real
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  Speaker 1: life he teaches Sunday school. Yeah, nobody to teaches Sunday
• 8:31
  Speaker 1: school could have said what they had to bleep out
• 8:33
  Speaker 1: that night. So it was just awful, the hatred, and
• 8:38
  Speaker 1: you got to remember he was fake news to the extreme.
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  Speaker 1: There is nobody on earth that pushed the Russia hoax
• 8:46
  Speaker 1: more than Stephen Colbert. You go back and check the record.
• 8:50
  Speaker 1: It was that's where he really hit his stride. The
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  Speaker 1: Russia hoax. He pushed that harder than anybody. It turned
• 8:56
  Speaker 1: out to be totally false, a completely rediculous, made up lie.
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  Speaker 1: He never apologized for it, not once, never apologized, and
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  Speaker 1: then he totally ignored anything. No, never a joke, never
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  Speaker 1: a comment about anything bad with a Democrat, Never anything
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  Speaker 1: about Eric Swalwell, never anything about Hunter Biden or the laptop,
• 9:19
  Speaker 1: no mention of it. Biden in total cognitive decline, Colbert
• 9:24
  Speaker 1: engaged in the cover up, never mentioned it. Remember the
• 9:28
  Speaker 1: hoax about Charlottesville. Trump supposedly said very fine. People on
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  Speaker 1: the NAZI said total hoax. Colbert pushed that like crazy.
• 9:38
  Speaker 1: And some people think the biggest mistake ever was not
• 9:40
  Speaker 1: going after Biden, who was obviously perfect for a comedian,
• 9:45
  Speaker 1: perfect target. But Colbert just ignored the whole thing. So
• 9:51
  Speaker 1: he's leaving. I think he says, what is he going
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  Speaker 1: to do? Now here's the fascinating part, and this tells
• 9:56
  Speaker 1: you everything. It was announced about eight months ago that
• 9:59
  Speaker 1: he was being fired. Nobody, no TV network, no TV company,
• 10:03
  Speaker 1: nobody has come forward to offer him a show. Nobody
• 10:07
  Speaker 1: has offered him anything. Long ago, before the firing, he
• 10:11
  Speaker 1: had sold a script idea for a sequel to The Hobbit.
• 10:17
  Speaker 1: They liked the script he came up with, so when
• 10:19
  Speaker 1: he leaves, that's what he'll work on. That script. It's
• 10:21
  Speaker 1: going to be a movie. But nobody has offered him
• 10:24
  Speaker 1: a TV show. He's now an empty nester. He's got
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  Speaker 1: the three kids that are all grown up and out
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  Speaker 1: of the house. He says he wants to enjoy life.
• 10:32
  Speaker 1: Is an empty nester, spend time with his wife, he's
• 10:37
  Speaker 1: been married thirty two years. He supposedly is about worth
• 10:40
  Speaker 1: seventy five million. Now. He earned a salary of about
• 10:43
  Speaker 1: fifteen million a year. So that's it. Tomorrow night, it
• 10:47
  Speaker 1: might be worth watching that final show just to see.
• 10:50
  Speaker 1: He's going to probably set the world record for ugliness,
• 10:54
  Speaker 1: for bitterness on television. It's going to get really ugly. Now.
• 10:58
  Speaker 1: Remember he's fire, he's gone, he's never coming back to CBS.
• 11:02
  Speaker 1: Nobody's offered him a job, so he doesn't have to
• 11:04
  Speaker 1: worry about blowing the next job, so he could get
• 11:07
  Speaker 1: really ugly tomorrow night. Hey, Pizza Hut, Now this is
• 11:13
  Speaker 1: an interesting story. You know, twenty twenty six, among young, young,
• 11:17
  Speaker 1: young people, there's a wave of nostalgia. Nobody can figure
• 11:21
  Speaker 1: out why, but they're getting nostalgic. That's why those are
• 11:24
  Speaker 1: the people buying vinyl phonograph albums. They're bringing back flip phones.
• 11:30
  Speaker 1: They like iPods, not iPhones, iPods. They're getting into this nostalgia.
• 11:35
  Speaker 1: They're even taking up analog hobbies and that sort of stuff.
• 11:38
  Speaker 1: I don't know what that's all about. So Pizza Hut
• 11:41
  Speaker 1: has decided to rewind, go back to their old day core.
• 11:45
  Speaker 1: They're trying it out in eighty restaurants. You know, you
• 11:49
  Speaker 1: go to a pizza hut. Now it's very modern plastic,
• 11:53
  Speaker 1: you know, minimal. They're going back to the old day corps,
• 11:56
  Speaker 1: and these younger people love it. The old day corps
• 11:58
  Speaker 1: means red checkered table cloths, vinyl booth, Tiffany style lamps,
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  Speaker 1: bringing back the salad bar, those big red plastic cups.
• 12:08
  Speaker 1: They're putting pac Man machines in there, and apparently it's working.
• 12:14
  Speaker 1: It's working. Business is way up in these locations, so
• 12:18
  Speaker 1: keep an eye on that trend that might start spreading around.
• 12:21
  Speaker 1: There's another one, Kellogg's Cereal. They're now putting toys back
• 12:26
  Speaker 1: in the breakfast cereal. I remember you used to wait
• 12:29
  Speaker 1: to see what the toy was in the bottom of
• 12:30
  Speaker 1: the cereal. That was a great thing. Why did they
• 12:33
  Speaker 1: get rid of it? Well, see I never realized this.
• 12:36
  Speaker 1: Apparently reason number one to cut costs. It costs money
• 12:41
  Speaker 1: to put those toys in there. And the other thing
• 12:43
  Speaker 1: is was a choking problem. Kids were choking on the toys.
• 12:48
  Speaker 1: Apparently they didn't, They're not that bright. They would pour
• 12:51
  Speaker 1: the cereal in the bowl, the toy would go in there,
• 12:55
  Speaker 1: so consumers that got all upset about the choking problem,
• 13:00
  Speaker 1: and that's another reason they stopped. But it's coming back.
• 13:03
  Speaker 1: Special edition boxes of frosted Flakes, fruit Loops, Applejacks, corn Pops.
• 13:10
  Speaker 1: We'll have plastic shaped toys characters from Disney and Toy
• 13:13
  Speaker 1: Story five. But again the US Consumer Product Safety Commission
• 13:20
  Speaker 1: deemed them a choking hazard. But we'll see how they
• 13:23
  Speaker 1: get around it this time. Hey, crazy mom Donnie mayor
• 13:28
  Speaker 1: Mom Donnie's been having these meetings with business leaders ever
• 13:31
  Speaker 1: since he's ugly, ugly, dirty personal attack on Ken Griffin.
• 13:36
  Speaker 1: They say they're going well, nobody's really gotten into a
• 13:38
  Speaker 1: fight with him. He met with Jamie Diamond of JP
• 13:42
  Speaker 1: Morgan David Solomon, CEO of Goldman Sachs. They don't know
• 13:46
  Speaker 1: how productive these meetings were. He got along very well
• 13:49
  Speaker 1: with Jamie Diamond. They hit it off, very constructive meeting.
• 13:54
  Speaker 1: I don't know if any he'll come of these. These
• 13:56
  Speaker 1: are just kind of much just for show. Nothing's really
• 13:59
  Speaker 1: happened depending in these meetings. They were set up by
• 14:01
  Speaker 1: that silly Partnership for New York City run by the
• 14:06
  Speaker 1: extremely overpaid Kathy Wilde. It's a business advocacy group that
• 14:12
  Speaker 1: really again engages in just symbolic a thing. I don't
• 14:16
  Speaker 1: know anything they've ever actually gotten done. Hey, we'll take
• 14:19
  Speaker 1: some calls in a minute. Eight hundred three two one
• 14:23
  Speaker 1: zero seven ten is the number. Eight hundred three two
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  Speaker 1: one zero seven ten