Latest / Very Fine Friends / Bonus IMPROV - It's Two-Denise Day
Transcript
- 0:00welcome to very fine friends bonus improv bonus
- 0:21Joe, can we please get a suggestion for our improv scene?
- 0:30Your suggestion is proposal.
- 0:35Proposal.
- 0:36How do you feel about those people who get proposed to in very public places like Disneyland?
- 0:41I am not a fan.
- 0:43Same.
- 0:43I would be so embarrassed.
- 0:45Why on earth would you want to do that?
- 0:47I would say no on that basis alone.
- 0:49Even if I was smitten completely with that person, so in love with it, if they did that, I'd be like, well, no.
- 0:54You don't know me at all.
- 0:55No.
- 0:56No.
- 0:56Yeah, exactly.
- 0:57It's like, oh, I don't.
- 0:58You don't know me as well as I thought you did.
- 1:00But there are people who do want that.
- 1:03Who do.
- 1:04Mm-hmm.
- 1:05Like, I don't understand.
- 1:07Why?
- 1:08How do you feel about it?
- 1:09No, I don't like to be perceived at all.
- 1:11Oh, yeah.
- 1:11You said that, right?
- 1:12Yeah.
- 1:12Yeah.
- 1:12I don't.
- 1:12I'd be so.
- 1:13I'd be humiliated.
- 1:14Yeah.
- 1:15Don't look at me.
- 1:16Don't take pictures of me.
- 1:17i don't want you seeing my reaction have you ever seen a proposal happen um no but a friend of mine
- 1:24had that happen to her oh no what'd she do did she like it no but she said yes wow how how did it how
- 1:33did he do it um i think it was at disneyland oh you start to say how did it end i thought you were
- 1:43like how'd they do it i'm like i don't know um but yeah no i i don't think that that's just i want
- 1:51a nice private thing i think i would like a nice private wedding too like very small group yeah
- 1:55yeah i know why all that fuss and muss yeah yeah it's really just like why do you want people
- 2:02looking at you no thanks no thank you i'm gonna hire a doppelganger actually for me and my spouse
- 2:09and we'll be i'll be in the audience and they'll be getting married but it's for us it's also just
- 2:15like especially a place like disneyland where it's just like so commercial like it just ruins
- 2:22the intimacy of the moment for me i don't know yeah we're like we're standing in a place that
- 2:28people pay admission to get into like this i don't know but like a child is thrown up here
- 2:33for sure yeah that's a perk oh then i will say yes and now improv
- 2:43oh wow you actually really do look exactly like me hi i'm sorry come on in
- 2:54hi thanks hi you you my doppelganger yes and i the best in the country wow it How lucky is that that you look just like me and you the best in the country Well you lucky We lucky I lucky by the transitive property
- 3:08Oh.
- 3:09Well, thank you so much for doing this.
- 3:14I got a lot of things to do today.
- 3:17And I just want them taken care of.
- 3:21And I don't want anyone to see me doing it.
- 3:25Well, I want it to look like I'm doing all of these things, but I don't want anyone looking at me.
- 3:33Oh, then you want that.
- 3:34That's definitely her package.
- 3:37Okay, good.
- 3:38Yeah, I can do that.
- 3:40All right, good.
- 3:40Thank you.
- 3:41Yeah.
- 3:42Now, so you're free for the whole day?
- 3:44Absolutely.
- 3:44I can do overnights.
- 3:46I cancel my whole life for you.
- 3:49So however far you want to take this, I'm there.
- 3:52All right.
- 3:52Let's start with the weekend.
- 3:56I got a lot planned for the weekend.
- 3:59So I'm starting now.
- 4:00You're good.
- 4:01Okay.
- 4:01So you want to do the whole weekend?
- 4:02Whole weekend.
- 4:02Sounds like you're going to want to upgrade to the drawer at my place package.
- 4:08Oh, okay.
- 4:09Yeah.
- 4:09But I got you.
- 4:10I'll clean out a drawer right now.
- 4:12Yeah.
- 4:13Perfect.
- 4:13This is great.
- 4:15Okay.
- 4:15Wonderful.
- 4:17Where's your underwear?
- 4:18Oh, what were you going to say?
- 4:19Oh, I was.
- 4:20Wait, why do you need to know where my underwear is?
- 4:22well i'll be wearing it silly oh my god you're so thorough oh people i was wondering why you
- 4:27showed up nude of course this is that's in the basic package the basic package is you doing
- 4:34things in the nude yeah so basically it guarantees at least one upgrade but that's beside the point
- 4:38um if i'm not wearing your underwear i want you to think about this and i have to bend over in
- 4:43public and someone sees someone else's underwear you're done we're gone true all of my underwear
- 4:51has my name embroidered on the backside of it.
- 4:54I know.
- 4:55You're classy.
- 4:57See, it says Denise on the back of all my underwear.
- 4:59Yep.
- 5:00And even a last initial.
- 5:02L.
- 5:03And then next to that last initial,
- 5:07Ogin.
- 5:07Because my last name's Logan.
- 5:11Yes.
- 5:11I can't wait to wear these.
- 5:13All right.
- 5:13Well, here, let me help you into them.
- 5:14Oh, thank you.
- 5:15Shimmy, shimmy, shimmy.
- 5:17Oh, perfect fit.
- 5:18Perfect fit.
- 5:18Because I'm the same measurements as you.
- 5:20God.
- 5:21you really are the best.
- 5:22I stop eating when I get to your measurements.
- 5:25Oh.
- 5:26Yeah.
- 5:26It's not luck.
- 5:27So if I gain a little bit of weight over the weekend,
- 5:28you'll gain it too?
- 5:29I'll eat the exact same thing you eat.
- 5:31God.
- 5:31I'm sorry.
- 5:31What's your name?
- 5:33Denise.
- 5:34I don't even know why I asked.
- 5:36Yeah.
- 5:36I legally changed it when you called.
- 5:39Well, Denise, Logan.
- 5:42Of course.
- 5:43Let's go do some grocery shopping.
- 5:45Oh, I love that.
- 5:46Are you coming?
- 5:47Oh, yeah.
- 5:47Oh, you want to see how I work?
- 5:48I want to see how it goes.
- 5:49That makes sense.
- 5:50I'm just going to be a few steps behind you.
- 5:53Okay, you got it.
- 5:55I look forward to a wonderful fruitful relationship And I look forward to some wonderful fruit from the grocery store get to the grocery store oh oh hello hello denise uh good to see you again to get your items
- 6:09wait denise yeah it's me but there's another denise a few feet behind you what's going on
- 6:18oh you have double vision sweetie you need to go to the doctor you're unwell you can barely work
- 6:24I'm gonna complain about you
- 6:27no Denise
- 6:28please you would never steer me wrong
- 6:30I'll go to the doctor right now
- 6:33I need a new cashier you're disgusting me
- 6:35I'm disgusted
- 6:36attention
- 6:39supermarket
- 6:40this bitch is ruining my day
- 6:43I need a manager
- 6:45this is Denise
- 6:46Denise Philippe Logan
- 6:49thanks
- 6:51You called for a manager?
- 6:56Yes, one of your swine put me in a bad mood
- 6:59Is this true, Travis?
- 7:03I didn't mean to, she's my favorite customer, it was not on purpose
- 7:06Not only is she your favorite customer, she's your aunt
- 7:08How could you do this to your aunt?
- 7:11I don't know, she's my favorite aunt too
- 7:15I forgive you, quit
- 7:16I'm so sorry about this, Denise, Philippe, Logan
- 7:21you're our favorite customer here i'm willing to overlook it if i can use this expired coupon
- 7:25of course anything for you and wait am i seeing am i seeing double lucky me it's to denise day
- 7:35oh yeah that could be a symptom of low iron oh i'll get that checked out right away thanks so
- 7:43much denise i recommend the beef cut back to denise's house whoa and you knocked travis down
- 7:52a peck or two that's nice i've been wanting to call him out for a while you're not mad as i was
- 7:57worried i i got a little too into character no you did that perfectly because you put on your
- 8:02application i'm sometimes bitchy yes and when i get bitchy i call other people bitch this bitch
- 8:10Yeah.
- 8:11That's what I say.
- 8:12I swine.
- 8:12I got to look right away.
- 8:13I call him swine.
- 8:14Oh, no, that's okay.
- 8:15That's, he is swine.
- 8:17Okay.
- 8:19Oh, is that enough?
- 8:20Get in the closet.
- 8:20Oh, no.
- 8:21No, I'm just going to stand slightly behind you.
- 8:22You're just going to stand there.
- 8:23Oh, that makes sense.
- 8:24I'm freezing.
- 8:24I'm coming to my door.
- 8:27Hello?
- 8:28Oh, Antonise.
- 8:29I'm so, I just want to apologize about before.
- 8:33Oh, my God.
- 8:34I'm seeing it again.
- 8:36Okay, Antonise.
- 8:38You must be gaslighting me or something.
- 8:39I swear to God there's two of you.
- 8:41No.
- 8:43What?
- 8:45There's only one Denise.
- 8:49Bye.
- 8:51Wait, hold on.
- 8:53Each of you bend over right now.
- 8:55Let me see the back of your underwear.
- 8:59Oh my God Only my Aunt Denise has underwear like that but you both wearing it that why i do goodbye travis oh that was so close i got i got into character as the doppelganger you doing
- 9:21great this package includes confidence the confidence to be someone being you this i can't
- 9:27believe i'm saying this but i feel like you're making you obsolete i feel like i can be seen in
- 9:34public now oh let's just we need to try it one more time you need to try the i i have a date
- 9:44tonight. Let's go on the
- 9:47date. Okay.
- 9:48That sounds like you'll need the
- 9:50bow chicka wow wow package.
- 9:53Yes, whatever it is. Add it.
- 9:56Okay.
- 9:57Cut to the date.
- 9:58Okay. He's about to show up.
- 10:00Are you going to stay at this table? Yeah, I'm sitting here
- 10:03next to you. Right next to me? Yeah.
- 10:05Hopefully he just doesn't even comment on it.
- 10:07Maybe he's real dumb. Yeah.
- 10:11Hello. You must be Denise.
- 10:13You're a lovely and very
- 10:14individual looking woman yes i am wow i love seeing your one set of mouths move as you speak
- 10:25those words thank you i'm smart i think i see a future here would you like to go to the coat closet
- 10:37and have sex.
- 10:42Sorry.
- 10:44I'm excited.
- 10:47Don't be sorry, Denise.
- 10:48I like the way you think.
- 10:51I see a real future here.
- 10:53Well, I see a past.
- 10:57Cut to the divorce.
- 11:04Okay, we can cut to the divorce.
- 11:07I always knew you weren't good enough for me.
- 11:26Well, funny you should mention that.
- 11:29I've hired a doppelganger
- 11:32from an online service
- 11:33so I can be twice the man that you
- 11:36expect me to be
- 11:38well
- 11:41alright scene
- 11:59We'll see you next time.